purchasing this release does not come with a download.

inri015: written and demoed in multiple stages from 1994-1998. initially constructed in this form in june, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reconstructed and resequenced jan 6-10, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016. audio permanently closed on aug 10, 2016. finalized on oct 10, 2016. lp001.

inri016: created in the summer of 1998. released as a standalone ep on nov 16, 2013. audio permanently closed on oct 12, 2016. release finalized on oct 27, 2016.

inri017: initially written over the course of 1997. recreated and expanded over the course of 1998. lead track first sequenced in this form in feb, 1999. further remixes generated over the course of 1999. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013, and another in late 2015. remastered in november, 2016 from various sources, 1997-2015. finalized on nov 17, 2016.

inri018: initially written in 1997. recreated and reconceptualized in late 1998. salvaged somewhat at the end of 1999. remastered in 2013. compiled on nov 13, 2016. finalized on nov 19, 2016. final album version added as a bonus track and refinalized on dec 15, 2016.

inri019: written and demoed from 1996-1999. initially constructed in this form in january, 1999. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. compiled on nov 13, 2016. sequenced on nov 22-24, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016. audio permanently closed on nov 24, 2016. release finalized on nov 27, 2016. symph002.

inri020: initially written in 1993. first full recording in 1996. recreated in dec, 1997 and again in jan, 1999. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed on july 2, 2015. remixed on july 15, 2015. reconceptualized & remixed repeatedly over november & december, 2016. finalized on dec 13, 2016.

inri021: written and demoed in multiple stages from 1993-1999. initially constructed in this form in feb, 1999. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reconstructed and resequenced over november and december, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016. finalized on dec 15, 2016. lp002.

inri022: recorded over 1998. compiled and remastered in late 2013. corrected to normalize for stereo in september, 2014. expanded incrementally between dec, 2014 and dec, 2016. merged with inricycled b and then finalized on december 16, 2016.

inri023: constructed over 1998. compiled and remastered in late 2013. the first two tracks were corrected to stereo in sept, 2014. the last two tracks were added for re-release as a remix lp in dec, 2016. lp003.

inri024: initially written and recorded between 1996-1999 and remixed over the summer of 2015, with a lengthy pause due to malfunctioning electronics. final compilation date is jan 3, 2016. finalized dec 17, 2016. lp004.

inri025: this idea was developed in parallel to the inriclaimed project over the summer of 2015 and first compiled on nov 27, 2016. finalized on dec 17, 2016. lp005.

inri026: initially written in the fall of 1997. recorded in the winter of 1999. remixed in late 2013 and again in early 2014. this track was separated from my second record in january, 2016 but the single was not completed until it was remixed one last time in sept, 2017.

inri027: streamed to disk in one take on the afternoon of march 9, 1999. ripped back to wav format from cd-r in late 2013. released as a one track single on nov 21, 2013. release finalized on sept 12, 2017.

inri028: constructed over a few days in april, 1999. ripped back to wav format from cd-r in late 2013. released as a one track single on nov 21, 2013. release finalized on sept 12, 2017.

inri029: recorded over 1997-1999. constructed in this form in june, 1999. published in november, 2013. aborted early version added as a hidden track on sept 13, 2017; release consequently finalized. symph003.

originally created from 1996-1999. this compilation is dated to june 30, 1999. slowly remastered, reconstituted, compiled, reconstructed, released and finalized from 2013-2017. compilation finalized on sept 13, 2017. as always, please use headphones. 

credits

released June 30, 1999

j - guitars, effects, bass, bass synth, pick scrapes, synthesizers, piano, flute, drum kit, drum programming, orchestral & other sequencing, sampling, vocal relics, mic noises, vocoders, octavers, cool edit synthesis, windows 95 sound recorder, found sounds, paper, strategies, soundraider, hammerhead (909 emulator), sound design, noise generators, noise reduction, light-wave synthesis, metronome, loops, a broken tape deck, tapes, digital effects processing, digital wave editing, vocals, chance, production

the various rendered electronic orchestras include piano, organ, electric guitar, orchestra hit, pizzicato strings, synth pads, violin, viola, cello, contrabass, electric bass, sitar, tubular bells, tinkle bells, synthesizer effects and flute. 

 

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/flac-dvd-disc-volume-2

republishing inri029

this was my grade 12 final project in electronic music design. the assignment was something along the lines of creating a piece of music with a social message.

the message is part dystopian, but focuses more on the idea of identifying certain threats that would become a problem in the upcoming century. remember that this was the middle of 1999. how close was i?

1) intro
2) war
3) noise pollution, or pollution in general
4) conformity (or the collapse of individualism)*
5) chemical warfare
6) global warming
7) outro

* i was thinking in terms of personality/uniqueness, rather than something political. and i think the extreme conformity underlying gen y social attitudes have played this out frighteningly well, actually. it's a reaction to the radical mindset of anti-conformity that dominated gen x, but it's still a very real thing that will have very real ramifications in the upcoming decades. if you thought the 50s were creepy, wait until you see what these kids grow up into!

i should have included something about inequality. i also removed a vegan track, partly due to time restraints. besides that, i think i got all of the broad ideas right.

the piece is made to be played in an indefinitely repeated loop.

most of the tracks are slightly remixed/resequenced versions of tracks from inri or inriched. track 5 is brand new, and recorded on the school's synthesizer (part of the project requirements).

recorded over 1997-1999. constructed in this form in june, 1999. published in november, 2013. aborted early version added as a hidden track on sept 13, 2017; release consequently finalized. this is my third symphony; as always, please use headphones.

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (1999, 2013, 2017). 

credits

released June 20, 1999

j - synthesizers, sequencers, effects, guitar, bass, piano, drum programming, noise generators, metronome, a broken tape deck, sampling, loops, cool edit synthesis, windows 95 sound recorder, sound design, digital wave editing, production

i can't date this exactly. i know it was the first half of the second semester of grade 12, which was spring of 1999. further, i'm taking it forward to about midway because the first part of the course was about voice-leading and i spent it orchestrating the beatles' something. i don't have any files.

i was lucky: i went to a high school with a big music department. not an arts school, mind you. just a school that had enough funding to run a wide array of course options that are outside the basic core topics. there were three main assignments in the course, and while i don't remember the exact assignment questions, i do have two pieces to show for it.

this, here, is a conceptual piece about pop music. all of the sounds are created from pop cans. yes, puns are fun. the samples run from pouring water out of pop cans into the sink, to crushing and smashing pop cans, to opening them, to exploding them, etc.

i used the tab of a pop can as a pick as i played the ambient guitar parts. it's all thrown together, processed, warped and perfected in a wave editor.

constructed over a few days in april, 1999. ripped back to wav format from cd-r in late 2013. released as a one track single on nov 21, 2013. release finalized on sept 12, 2017. as always, please use headphones.

this track appears unmodified on my third record:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inridiculous

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (1999, 2013, 2017). 

credits

released April 15, 1999

j - guitars, effects, samples, loops, digital wave editing 

somebody asked me to do this for them for a school project in the second half of grade 12, which was early 1999. we're both italian. silly joke, no offense intended.

i never saw the final version, but the guy described it to me. it was an anti drinking and driving ad (think madd) for a marketing class. they sequenced it up with shots of one of them stumbling towards a car, getting in and driving off. very clownish, apparently.

i didn't spend a lot of time on this, so i didn't charge them for it or anything. i think i was more hoping that it would float around a little, but if it did i'm not aware of it.

streamed to disk in one take on the afternoon of march 9, 1999. ripped back to wav format from cd-r in late 2013. released as a one track single on nov 21, 2013. release finalized on sept 12, 2017. as always, please use headphones.

this track appears in slightly modified form on my third record:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inridiculous

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (1999, 2013, 2017).

credits

released March 9, 1999

j - hammerhead (909 emulator), digital wave editing

publishing inri026

i went through a string of extremely cold basements in the late 90s. it was half heating costs; on that level, i could even agree for environmental reasons. however, it was half because my step-mother legitimately prefers absolutely frigid, air-conditioner-level temperatures and didn't want hot air rising from the basement to ruin the freezing temperature upstairs. you can understand how that might get frustrating sometimes.

i was offered a room upstairs, but then i'd have to go to bed at 10:00 pm rather than stay up until 4:00 am recording music and chatting on the internet, which was clearly unacceptable.

the song is more than a surreal commentary, it is a morbid fantasy i was legitimately having. there wasn't any real chance that i was going to light the basement on fire; if i were to do that, i might ruin my guitar, and then i'd be worse off. the story runs a little off the rails, but that is it's charm.

this was the last song recorded for inclusion on my second record, inriched (inri021), and initially sequenced as the penultimate track (as the viewless/suicide sequence had already been decided upon as the ending track). the song was finished on the evening of the 5th; i finished the cover art on the evening of the 6th. it remained in that position, as the 14th track, from february, 1999 until jan, 2016 when it was split off for the technical reason that i wasn't able to remove the vocals because i didn't retain source material. this is frustrating, because it's by far the most interesting song on the record, from a musical perspective.

however, i've always viewed the track as transitional; i realized, even at the time, that i was starting something new rather than ending something, with this. in hindsight, the elaborate electro-prog explored by the track is certainly more similar to what would follow than what i was closing down. it is actually fitting that the track was removed due to a lack of source material, as that defines what i created over 1999 (which i'm retroactively labelling period 1.3).

as the track was still on inriched through 2013, it was remastered along with the rest of the record. a version was also produced for the deleted inricycled b compilation, which included some extra mastering and the removal of the opening sample. these versions were both mastered to fit into their respective sequences; while they're both improvements, neither really captured the essence of the track as it's own thing. so, a final standalone mix was constructed in sept, 2017 to permanently close the ep.

initially written and recorded in the winter of 1999. remixed in late 2013 and again in early 2014. this track was separated from my second record in january, 2016 but the single was not completed until it was remixed one last time in sept, 2017. as always, please use headphones.

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (1999, 2013, 2014, 2016, 2017). 

credits

released February 5, 1999

j - guitars, effects, bass, sequencing, drum programming, synths, vocals, loops, samples, digital wave editing 

 

sept 10 vlog, where i continue the process of closing inri026.

yesterday was a weird day; i was up fairly early, and got to work around noon, but i blew the entire day trying to reconstruct the mix from the day before, only to conclude the difference file was reverb from random sampling...

i dunno, though. i tried a few things, and it all ended up inconclusive. i think there's an underlying issue. i went to sleep in the evening with the intent of checking the output file when i woke up. i mean, the point of verifying the out was to tweak - if i didn't need to tweak, i wouldn't need to verify anything.

i've been distracted by the hurricane and other things this morning, but i'm actually content with the mix. so, i'm going to close the ep. 

i should get through at least two more by the end of the night, and hope i can ship the first package on monday at some point...

sept 9 vlog, where i continue the process of closing inri026.

sept 8 vlog, where i print inri011 for the first time and start to close inri026, as the first step in the procedure of fulfilling a large order. 

  

it seems like i'll be in bed early tonight, and that's ok. well, i've been awake since 3:00 this morning...and it's a quiet night in detroit. there's this ancient tradition happening tomorrow, and i'm not sure i'm keen about it, given the weather. i've been drinking enough this summer; i need to get some work done. widowspeak, on tuesday, is more likely. and, i'm not going to miss goldie on saturday.

i had a dog named goldie. of course she was a retriever.

i managed to get my printer back online this afternoon, so i've printed the first disc in this order: it is ready to ship. but, i'm going to ship them two at a time out of courtesy, to keep costs down. he's going to get a free order at the end of it, due to overpaying for shipping. i have an obligation to be economical, then. order one is potentially on monday, but it depends on how much i get finished.

i also finished a potential mix of this track. after controlling for interference, and using good headphones, the cool edit salvage of this was better than i thought. but, i have more sophisticated tools in cubase and i've used them to positive effect.

i'll have to do some listening when i wake up. it's tentative, but probable. watch out for the bottom end - that is very crunchy bass.

10 years. that's the waiting time for subsidized housing.

needless to say, i'll have to figure something else out.

for right now, i'm staying in this weekend; it's too cold to go out. so, i'm going to do a little cleaning, take a shower and get ready to do some real discography work.

i made it to the office late in the morning, but it's closed on wednesdays. oops.

at least the forms are printed and ready. i'll need to get them there in the morning.

i spent the rest of the afternoon doing grocery shopping for the month, as i didn't do it around the first. i'll need to pick up some fruit in a few days, but it should otherwise be a very cheap month, grocery-wise. that is good...

i was up around midnight and am getting back to inri026 just about right now.

so, i am back to work on this today, and i was hoping i could just get a quick finish for inri26, but i have to remaster the thing, it's not an acceptable sound quality to drop in after doing all of that work on the other tracks from the period.

i have a problem, though: i have virtually no source material for this. what i have is a midi file. i don't have guitar parts, i don't have drum loops...there's nothing...

...which means i can't remove the vocals, either. but, it's not the biggest liability. this will end up on the second vocal comp, but it's no longer an album track, and precisely for that reason: i can't get the vocals out.

when i get through remixing it, i'm going to have a new version along with two failed remasters (one from inricycled b and one from the first inriched, and they both sound awful), a cd rip and the original mp3 from 1999. i'm not going to include all of these tracks on the single, i'll probably just include the mp3 version; it will probably be two tracks.

the weather is still crappy, but i have to get out and do some things this morning. i'll get back to this in the early afternoon. it could be a long day.

after that, i don't think much else is going to require actual production. but, i'm going to listen, too, and see.

inri027 & inri028 are also one track singles, due to the nature of what they are. inri029 cannot be modified due to what it is, which is a conceptual ep - but i'm going to add an alternate version to it as d/l only. inri030 is an ep single from the first disc and is done but needs finalization. that's going to be a little something else.

inri031 should require a little attention....that's the one that does...

inri032 is the covers disc and really can't be touched, and neither can inri033, which is the third official record and the point i need to finish up to before i can ship this guy his first package.

i will at least get ink today. and, if i can finish inri026 before i sleep, i should be able to get through the next chunk pretty quickly.

but, everything else aside, i need to get the subsidized housing bit in today. i can put everything else off except that.

the weather's kind of crappy today...

...and i think i have a new poop-throwing suspect: it's the husband. he mowed the lawn yesterday and seemed to stop to place objects. i thought he was stealing the citrus release again, but it's still there. the space was clear yesterday, but i picked up 7 clumps this morning after smelling it last night - distributed in a way that seemed designed for maximum annoyance.

it's kind of outrageously obvious - like the eviction notice is.

but, the situation is fundamentally different, now. i don't have the urge to sue that i did, previously; the reason is that i know there's no solution. the reality is that they're brazenly and maliciously harassing me, like the retarded white trash that they are. they're not going to stop if i win the case, so why bother? i'm better off just ignoring it until they sell the building.

...except that it looks like they're going through with the false eviction, so i have to counter-sue.

if i can get them to drop the nonsense around that, i'm really just going to withdraw. i mean, i'll keep taking notes and stuff - it could, in the end, be necessary for a master case. but the way you deal with spoiled children is that you stop feeding into it and then wait until they tire themselves out...

i don't want to test the rain, so i'm staying in. things will need to happen tomorrow. i could very well start posting either tonight or tomorrow, depending on how long it takes me to work out the kinks and get back on track.

so, it's tuesday morning and i'm picking back up where i let off on friday night.

friday was a bit of an adventure, whereas saturday was a bit more of a normal overnight. i've recently picked up the habit of drinking too much caffeine when i get in and not substantively sleeping when i get home on sunday until monday morning; i slept all day monday.

before i left on friday, i noticed the paralegal had sent me back an email pretending that he didn't know anything about the eviction process. right.

the purpose of the harassment case was not an extractive process, but a vehicle to come up with a way to correct destructive behaviour and end the ongoing pattern of harassment. a settlement is not a solution, but a punishment (the restitution in the case is meaningful, but abstract). what i wanted was a solution, and not a punishment. unfortunately, i felt the need to introduce the court to arrive at aold the pa solution, as the property owners were entirely non-cooperative.

the introduction of a paralegal was unexpected (i did not know he would be there until i got there), but it presented a possibility to arrive at a solution without resorting to punishment. that is to say that it's much closer to what i wanted out of the process; what i wanted was a solution, and not a punishment. so, i took that approach.

but, it's now absolutely clear that nobody ever intended to arrive at a solution. so, we need to revisit the court process.

i told the paralegal that he's full of shit, but suggested he can prevent he and his client from a making a fool of themselves by indicating to me that the second part of the form would not be filled. i did not receive a response, so i am planning on mailing on wednesday.

this morning, i need to get to the subsidized housing space and drop off that form, get some printer ink, do some grocery shopping and in the end pick up the forms needed to reopen the case. i'll then get everything mailed tomorrow morning...

i would like to wait until the eviction process plays itself out before i re-open the file for harassment. that would let me forget about it and do something else for a while. but, i can't actually do that.

as mentioned, i do not think that the paralegal expects the process to go to court: i think he thinks it's leverage to force me out. they'll offer me a few months at mediation, and expect me to take it. it won't matter that it's a fake notice, because it won't go to court. and, if i sue them after, it'll be for the two months they offered me, anyways.

i'll tell you right now that i won't bother mediating an obviously fabricated eviction charge, i'll just get right to ripping it apart in court.

if i can do so effectively, i'll have smoking gun evidence that they were harassing me for the purpose of eviction - which is technically what i sued them for. if i can't, i'll wait until the listing comes up and file for a false eviction notice.

i want the eviction process to go through first, and i want to win the case. but, i need to have the mediation settlement broken before that happens, in case i need to refile after they relist from a distance.

the ideal would be to just wait it out and launch a single, comprehensive process. but, it's not prudent. i need to immediately indicate that the mediation was signed in poor faith.

i did get a disc burned this morning, but i didn't have any ink to print the cover art and i just wasn't awake enough to get to the store to buy some.

i will probably get some ink on sunday. but, it seems like i'm going to have a busy day on monday, in getting all the forms out to the right places and the right items in the right envelopes.

i should be able to ship two packages at a time, as well. it makes more sense to wait until inridiculous is done, anyways.

i know it's somebody's parent.

i know one of them lives upstairs and the other one lives "on oulette", which is at least as close to a hospital, and probably a lot nicer.

this family is wealthy; it's inherited wealth. this is kind of the family reject house - it's the disabled son (it may even be brain damage from a stroke or something, i really don't know), and his retarded daughter (she's more obviously asd, and i suspect likely adhd). they're put away here, kind of thing - taken care of, but out of people's hair.

if i can figure out where this person lives, i can no doubt make an argument for absurdity.

....because i'm sure that mom's place is much nicer. not a little bit sure, either. absolutely certain.

i'm looking through the addresses to include in the subsidized rent form, and it really seems like almost every building in town is offering subsidized rent.

i'm kind of skeptical that the waiting list is going to be too long.

ok. it's true. if i can get a two bedroom apartment on the third or fourth floor with a solid air intake, i'll take it as an improvement. i guess i'm a little older, and there's a few things i'm more picky about.

it's not that i don't like basements - i love basements - it's that i don't like air conditioners, and living in the basement means you're stuck with all of the air conditioners on top of you. if i can get up a little, i can reverse the effect.

being up a few floors also means you can open the window without having to worry about smokers at ground level, or cars i suppose, which is more important to me now than it was a few years ago.

it takes losing access to fresh air to realize how valuable it really is. it's something you take for granted, until it's gone.

i'd also like to be a little closer to the downtown core so i have easier access to the tunnel and i'm not missing the bus every time i go to detroit. i'm a concrete jungle type - i don't have much attachment to green spaces. they just end up full of cat shit. i like sidewalks and parking lots. sorry.

i still don't want to uproot. non-smokers really need to start standing their ground and not falling into these  strange narratives around "smokers rights", which is just another way to label a license to pollute. but, i'm realizing that i have better options than i thought.

it's a backup plan. and, i'm glad it's there.

the liners notes to this one are already written.

i need to at least get it out in the morning, along with the subsidized rent application and a request to re-open the harassment proceedings.

if i end up going the subsidized housing option, i can always continue the case from a new location.

i was hoping for inridiculous, as well, but i guess it'll have to wait another day or two. i don't think i have to do anything in between, it's just a question of writing a lot of notes and getting the numbers right.

there is nothing on the market that would be acceptable to me at this point; anything comparable to this unit is considerably outside of my price range. it just stresses the importance of standing my ground in the face of persistent harassment, and letting the system come to a correct conclusion in the face of fraudulent reports.

the sad reality surrounding the whole thing is that they won't be able to rent this unit to anybody in the long term. the basement is full of cockroaches. the odours are terrible: cigarettes in the hallways, sewer gas in the back space and pollution from the windows most of the year. when you can get some fresh air, you have to deal with nuisance cats shitting everywhere and neighbours chain smoking in their driveway. you can imagine the kind of undesirable that this wouldn't bother: maybe a 45 year old single male that chain smokes, lives on welfare and is drunk most of the time.

i was told the previous tenant had to end their tenancy because they were sent to jail.

there's essentially no insulation in the back wall. so you have to deal with the air conditioner upstairs in the summer and the basement draft in the winter. if they succeed in converting the unit to gas and the tenancy to paid utilities, paying rent here will mean you're heating the entire basement, and most of the upstairs - because he doesn't turn his heat on unless it's -20. so, the basement tenant is essentially going to be paying heating costs for the entire building.

the tenant they're looking to attract is consequently going to be a low-income chain smoker that doesn't mind living in filth and is willing to overpay for utilities for no apparent reason i can see. i hear he rides a unicorn to church.

i am the best they will get. at least the old guy realized that. i guess he had a little experience with the previous tenants down here, and what a unit like it is able to attract.

i am going to take a precautionary step, though: i am going to apply for subsidized housing. and, i am going to claim that i am in an abusive situation, because i am.

i should have been put in subsidized housing years ago. i mean, i'm on permanent disability, it's what the program is for. i applied for it in ottawa, but i wasn't able to stay with my grandmother long enough to wait it out and had to leave the city, instead. they eventually approved me, but i was already here, and it didn't make the slightest bit of sense to go back.

i've been here long enough now that i can apply, here. i don't know how long it will take...

...but it's really the only way out of this that i can put a positive spin on: i could conceivably get a comparable space, and actually end up with a reduced price. and, good luck to them getting somebody else in here.

but, i'm going to stand my ground. i'm going to make them prove the case. because i presume that they can't. and, everything aside, i don't want to leave.

i just hate moving. if i could snap my fingers, i'd take myself up to a third or fourth floor apartment with windows that open to fresher air and walls that keep the neighbours' a/c out. but, getting from a to b isn't worth it. i'd rather stay here and hold my ground.

i need to state again that i do not intend to leave windsor until i complete my discography because i will not be able to afford the space required to hold my gear much of anywhere else. i could have been done by now, but i've wasted much of the last two years on nonsense. if i leave for waterloo, which is my most likely next destination, i will probably sell my gear before i go.

the idea of moving to waterloo is to shift from an artistic purpose to an academic (mathematical) one. i could very well end up living in the library for a while. but, i was not expecting to end up in waterloo until i hit my mid-40s or early 50s. i'll likely be in windsor for another 10-15 years before i move on.

i intend to eventually end up in the northern end of the province, in my twilight years.

i will not end up back in ottawa, unless it is homeless and penniless and in the short term, before i move away again. i simply cannot afford to live in the city.

so, i woke up to an eviction order - signed hours after the mediation process - that i needed to leave so that a parent could move in.

which one? the obese man's ex-wife?

does she like cockroaches?

they can do this in ontario. sort of. they have to demonstrate a need to put the parent there, which is probably going to be difficult. they can't just decide that they're going to stick mom in there for a year for the fun of it, they have to have a good reason. and, it has to be true, in the first place.

they have the burden of proof to demonstrate it, and they can expect a rigorous cross-examination.

frankly, even if they do have a parent to move in, and they need to, it's going to be hard for them to convince a judge that they just forgot to tell me that in mediation and that this has nothing to do with the last several months of harassment. so, we have bad faith on two levels:

1) the mediation agreement was arrived at in bad faith, and is consequently void.
2) the eviction order was provided in bad faith, and will fail. in fact, i think it's toothless: it's an intimidation tactic. i don't expect it to actually go to court. it's just supposed to scare me into moving.

i was hoping to push this forward into september. but, they broke the agreement in less than 24 hours.

again: was i fool to put it off? the answer is no: this would have happened anyways. putting the file on hold did not lead to a fake eviction notice, they would have done it anyways. but, it does allow me to put the harassment proceedings - and the fake eviction notice will be a part of them - into a single case, which both makes me seem less interested in conflict (which is true.) and less interested in financial gain (which is also true.). in the long run, it just strengthens my argument that there is a pattern of consistent harassment.

if anybody is capitalizing, it is the paralegal, who appears to be more interested in taking advantage of clueless property owners than building his own reputation. and, if i made an error it was in hoping for good faith from a lawyer. the ideal outcome remains in helping these people better understand what the law says; unfortunately, this guy seems like he wants to just take advantage of them.

i am going to have to spend some time in the next few days looking at moving options, as a backup plan, but that will not void any of the legal proceedings - including the inevitable filing of a false eviction claim, which i can theoretically file after moving. if that ends up happening, it will pay for the process. i don't expect my options to be very good (to avoid moving backwards, i will need to find a two bedroom all-inclusive apartment for less than $700/month - and, remember, i am legally incapable of working), but i have to explore them.

if i were to move out, and i saw that they relisted the apartment, re-opening the file under that premise would be a very strong argument: months of harassment culminating in a fake eviction notice would indeed land me a sum. and, if i'm moving out, i'll take it.

i need to do some cleaning tonight, and then get a few things mailed in the morning. i'll take a look at this over the next few days, with the aim to mail some things on monday.

if they want this to end, it's really simple: all they have to do is leave me alone.

i actually put this truth in the court documents: even if i were to walk out of the court room with the full settlement (which has now inched up to 4679.46), we'd still have to find a mediation process, afterwards, or i'm just going to take them to court every month.

i even offered to give some of it to charity. it's really not the point.

that number can keep growing. the bigger it gets, the larger a fraction of it gets, too. it can eventually get to a point where i shouldn't expect to see it, even if i win it. but, that's fine, because it's not the actual answer to anything.

the preferred answer was an epiphany. i was hoping i could help. sure, it's still possible. right now, the right answer is a legal mentor to get them to follow common sense legal principles - to tell them when they're fucking up and tell them not to.

that is infinitely more valuable to me than an unending court battle that i keep winning.

they fucked up within hours: i have two more examples of harassment, just this evening.

but, things are different, now: i have a paralegal that has at least taken a couple of courses to run it through, and he has to tell his clients whether or not these things are worth doing.

they are minor concerns, in isolation: removing an air freshener from my window sill, changing the speed of the fan that i won by court order so that it's barely working. neither of these actions cost me anything. more importantly, refraining from these actions doesn't cost the landlord anything - but carrying them out could cost her a whole lot.

any decent paralegal should look at the situation and say the following,

"well, jessica is correct: you cannot be vandalizing her window sill, as it is an extension of her living space. anything on the sill is her property. removing an item from the window sill is the same thing as removing an item from her apartment. and, she won the court order on the fan, too, so you should basically never touch it, for any reason. if these situations were one-offs, this would be a waste of time. but, they are part of a pattern of harassment that could land you in a lot of trouble. this isn't worth fighting, and this isn't worth doing. you should sign the paper - and you should leave the fan alone, and leave items on her window sill alone, too."

that is dramatically more productive from my perspective than getting into a stupid shouting match and dragging the thing to a judge.

but, i don't expect this to evaporate tomorrow. it's going to be the paralegal's responsibility for the near future to get these people to start acting like grown-ups. it could take a long time. but, in the long run, if the behaviour is slowly corrected, the issue is resolved.

otherwise, we go back to court within weeks - and i'll do it, because it's the pattern that matters, not the precise issue.

i gave them another chance...

.....to fuck up.

well, it's kind of true.

what i did was put the case on hold in order to deal with a paralegal. it's easy enough to scoff at me: i gave them a chance to get a lawyer involved? am i daft? or just imbued with gentlemanly concepts of fair play? but, it's actually better in the long run.

see, i'm far better off giving them as many chances as i can, like a tiger playing with a kill, than i am in trying to devour them multiple times. i'm going to get annoying if i take this to a judge every few weeks, and i want to avoid seeming aggressive: i am, after all, suing for harassment. i'm the victim, here. it needs to be unambiguous. i'm more likely to get a big settlement if it's at the end of incredible patience than i am if it looks like i'm coming back for seconds and thirds like a greedy glutton.

beyond tactical considerations, i'm actually genuine: what i want is for the shenanigans to end at no cost to me. it is perhaps true that the root cause of the problem is that they're all so legally clueless. perhaps a good deal of this would not have happened if they had sought proper legal advice. so, there is some reason to think that putting a lawyer between us could have a seriously positive effect.

also, i'm intuitive enough to realize that what this paralegal really wanted was to avoid the court date out of fear of being beaten by an amateur. the truth is that i actually intimidated him. he's not going to shape up in the course of weeks or months, but he may give the case less formlessness, and actually make it easier to sue as a consequence.

i actually hope that this is the end of it; they gave me back the $50 filing fee, but left me on the hook for the other $40 i spent on paper and mailing costs. i'd be surprised if it is; i should be able to add those costs on to the next date.

if i refile i can add all of the things that have happened since july 20th as further examples - at no extra cost - and increase the fine to six or potentially seven months at a better probability of winning and potentially with better evidence.

i'm sleepy. but i'll be getting to better and more productive things when i wake up.

so, i went to make a smoothie this afternoon, in the thunderstorm, and came back to a laptop with a dead processor.

this is the same laptop that was previously having electrical problems. and, i noticed that it was seizing up a little bit, this afternoon - so it didn't come totally out of nowhere.

once again, though, this laptop fails in co-ordination with my living room desktop, which went into the loop for the first time since replacing the hard drive. i don't know what that loop actually is, but i've designed the system around the need to reinstall to get rid of it. it may actually be a network virus. what's extra curious is the correlation: i seem to be getting periodic attacks by some kind of intelligence network that take everything down at the same time.

i vlog! i blog! i give you information for free!

oh, and my phone came in the other day, but don't expect me to actually use it any time soon :P. not now, with all these priorities...and, certainly not the way anybody expects. at least it's there though, right? have fun with it.

and, no, i'm not blaming the russians. i understand that the russians actually have extremely limited cyberwarfare capabilities, and are simply not technologically advanced enough to do much of anything they're currently being accused of. if i was attacked by a rogue intelligence gathering service, it was almost certainly by the good old cia. i don't think i'm very interesting to the chinese or the israelis, which are the only other serious operations running.

the storm is a good cover, right? hey - explain why everything all comes down at once, then.

nonetheless, occam's razor is to ignore the sputtering this morning and just blame it on the storm. did i get a surge? well, the power didn't actually go out, although i do think that i had a close lightning strike. but, nothing else in here got fried, and this laptop was actually on one of the better protected circuits. it doesn't quite add up; i'm not convinced.

given that i had all of the windows open, i actually think it may be more likely that the static electricity in the air got to it and shut it off as it was running hot. that would be terrible luck, basically. i've tried some dry boots and it's not working; i get the caps lock single flash, and it just shuts down. so, i'm going to have to let it sit and drain itself for a week or two. if i can fix it easily, it will be by unplugging it for a while.

for now, i swapped the drive out and am back on the backup laptop, as i was over the course of may and june. i hope it doesn't take as long to come back...

...but, even if it comes back sooner, i'm thinking i'll stick on this machine as a short term access point and go ahead and install the new drive in the other machine, which is what i was planning on doing shortly, anyways. that's what i'm going to be doing for editing in the long run.

if it doesn't come back, should i buy a new processor? i'm not confident about disassembling it. so, i might buy a new stripped down laptop (not necessarily the same model), actually, and just put the new components in it. i mean, i just bought a new hard drive and 8 gb of new ram or this: it should be running a fast sshd with 8 gb of ram. the optical drive works. if i can just get a barebones board/screen/case combo for $50 and then upgrade it with my new components, it will justify the existing investment and really be a helluva calculator. i've already spent around $200 on it, so i'm not just going to discard it - i'll find a way to reintegrate this component, one way or another.

but, am i getting fed up with it? sure. i'll give it a week or two to come back and then move on.

so, i'm probably on this machine for a good while. i haven't taken it up to 4 gb of ram yet but will soon. and, that should make it more than sufficient as an access point until i get around to reconstructing the studio.

that was a messy weekend. i found myself on a pcp buzz (i need to stop just smoking and/or eating whatever random thing anybody gives me - this was laced pot, i've been through it repeatedly and know it when i get it, it was a specific trip. i even know who i smoked it from, as i could taste it. it's a burnt taste, like hashish, but more intense) after actress, and stuck outside the bar until 5:00 am. again: i wasn't actually drunk. i didn't pass out, and i didn't vomit. i was just inoperable due to the high. in fact, i could have walked somewhere, and no doubt would have if i didn't have my bike, but i decided against bicycling until the buzz passed. safety first. well, i would have just sat outside the diner, anyways, right? i could sit outside the bar and smoke or sit outside the diner and smoke, what's the difference? as before, it took a while longer than i expected, but i caught the early bus, in the end.

saturday was even weirder, as i didn't get over until 00:30 and found myself at a party that ended at 9:30. i managed to get a lunch hour pizza on the way home, and then took until midnight on sunday to finish eating it. i again think i smoked something that kept me awake. this is the primary argument for legalization: you just really actually don't honestly know what the fuck you're smoking. you really don't. i know i was awake for 36 hours before i feel asleep.

...and that i then slept all day monday, and most of the day tuesday.

i now need to be in court in nine and a half hours, and it will be fine. i've got the information i need compiled and put together. i just need to figure out what i'm printing and what i'm not printing, and plan the rest of the morning around getting there on time.

i've decided that i'm going to wait until i get a ruling before i file a third case. this really isn't a lot of fun, after all. but, the point of this is to get them to stop, not to bankrupt them. if i put them in too difficult a situation, it could actually make it harder to sell the building. and, if i win the case, it could give me the leverage i need to make it stop.

i mean, to be clear: i plan on filing. 5 attempted evictions without cause requires a response. it's just that i'm going to want to do one thing at a time, so i'll give them a chance to respond, first.

yeah. i just took a refresher look through the posts here since december. i think this is what happened:

1) i stopped in late december to rebuild this page from notes existing in word documents going back to 2013. this put both the alter-reality and the closing process on hold. there was good logic to having a consolidated file with all data in it, for the aleph-discs - it may have been time consuming and might have left me backed up, but it would make sense in the long run.

2) this was a slow and grueling process that wasn't quite done yet by mid-february. i decided to augment the process by including show reviews in the music archives and building a show review archive that i'd had shelved for years. this ended up quite time consuming, as well. but, it did make good sense, so long as it could eventually get done.

3) at the end of march, i was forced to sue my landlord, sending me into a spiral of distraction that has included broken laptops and apartment rebuilds. and the process has yet to resolve itself.

my second court date is wednesday morning and i'm going to have to sue them at least a third time. but, i think they're selling the property in december (or that's what i overheard). i don't know what they're doing with the old guy on top of me. retirement home? letting him move in? or are they just dumping him off? because he has no source of income besides myself, basically; if they sell completely, he can't pay rent. but, if they're gone then....the whole point of this is to wait him/them out, as i would not expect them to hold the property once he dies. that might be on the horizon. but, this process is far from over.

i'm also still vlogging and did not make good use of my time last week, so i'm in need of working out thumbnails and watching vlogs.

i haven't looked ahead for september concerts.

but, what the large order means (combined with how far behind i am in the alter-reality, now) is that i should really be starting the process i started last december from scratch, with all updated data that i have. and, this needs to be a full consolidation over all sources, to ensure that the period discs are truly comprehensive.

what that means is that i have the following priorities:

1) court stuff, including launching the third court date. listen: they tried to evict me five times this month, all without cause. that's an absurd level of harassment, and they can't be allowed to get away with it.
2) close inri026-inri070.
3) catch up on the alter-reality over 1997, including writing some reviews for a couple of shows over 1997.
4) when i am done, i can reconsolidate the documentation over sources (blogspot/facebook/bandcamp ---> word doc ---> html in period discs) and rebuild the concert review archive, as it comes up. i suppose that that implies large holes between 1997 and 2010, but that's ok.

something else will be true when that's done: i'll be able to walk into my rebuilt studio and finally start recording material that was written for period 3.

and, i'll need to carry on with vlogging stuff, too, in between.

i actually had a really fun summer, and i guess you can check the vlogs for that. but, that's the plan for the fall. let's hope it goes through without complication.

i got a large order on saturday night (11 physical cds), so i'm going to need to flip things around.

august has been a real wash. i've spent a lot of time drinking and a lot of time sleeping but not much time doing anything of any worth. i think this order is going to pull me out of the doldrums, so it's probably a good thing.

it means those shelves are not going to get built for another month, probably. they should be built already, i just couldn't catch up on the vlogging - i kept falling asleep. well, i was procrastinating, really, and then falling asleep when i sat down to work at the end of the night. the general apartment project will need to be halted until i catch up. and, this is going to push me right through, until 2003.

that's going to throw everything out of sequence, which, for right now, means i'm going to put the diary part of the aleph-projects on hold. i should have liner notes for inri000-inri002 up by now. if somebody buys them, i'll prioritize it.

in fact, if i'm getting back into the sequence, i could end up getting back to the alter-reality, too.

i guess this is real-life - things skewed across the apartment, court battles in process and anarchy in production. i don't exactly want to celebrate late capitalism, but perhaps i'm deluding myself in thinking i can escape it.

i have nearly 50 discs to close over the next few weeks. so, i'll be posting more, here.

i just want to post an update here...

i'm ever so further from catching up. i've lost weeks to all kinds of needless things. my laptop came back, but i had to ditch the screen. and, then my grandmother sent me a check for a new machine, which is being used to fix all the little things i need to fix in my apartment - which will probably take me until the end of the summer.

i don't like the fact that i'm wasting all of this time, obviously. but, functionally speaking, i need to plan for a return by the end of the year at the latest in order to catch back up with the alter-reality. i had to stop updating the alter-reality at the end of 1996 because the next entry was a concert review (i mother earth / moist, jan 1997). and, further, i had to make sure everything was in line for the period disc, which is why i was recreating the history in this music vlog. so, i have to finish the concert reviews before i can back to the reconstruction. but, i'll also have to read my notes to get a clearer understanding of exactly what i was doing. that said, there really wasn't a lot to go over in 1997 besides reliving the past.

i was grounded until march, 1997. i then finished my second demo in junish. i moved shortly. and had no recording capacities until christmas, when i got the 4-track. inrisampled was created over the fall, but it is such a minor entry...

the point is that i can recreate this pretty quickly and that living it in real time isn't very important to the broader scheme of things. it's more important to build the period disc. and, i have to do that in sequence.

i have another court date coming up. basically, my landlord is doing things designed to coerce me to leave in retaliation for the previous battle, and she can't do that under canadian law. we don't really have a concept of property rights in ontario; instead, owning property binds you to a daunting list of responsibilities. not only does a property owner not have the ability to coerce a tenant out, but it's actually punishable under the criminal code. what i'm suing her for is rent, but what i want is a mediation process, and i might settle for nothing if i can get a decent course of action - if not, i will continue to sue her for back rent until she relents or she sells. that's what this is coming to, here. if i win this round, it's going to set off an all-out war, and i grasp that, but i'm not intending to move, either. sometimes, you just have to dig in and fight.

if i were to provide a guess on an eta as to when i can get back to posting substantive updates, i'd guess we're looking at around hallowe'en. it's not what i want, it's just life.

i have a habit of disappearing. i won't be back for a while, still. but, i'm at least in the process of rebuilding. i'll be filling in some holes over march, april and may as i go.

so, what happened?

well, i guess i got stuck trying to catch up with the concert reviews over february, and it just turned into a black hole. my head is fine - or at least as good as it's going to get. no headaches since the aspirin. i don't know...

as it is, i haven't touched the concert section since the end of march because i got sucked into a fight with my landlord that cost me the entirety of april through the process of editing. i haven't been doing anything except partying and editing since the first week of april.

i also broke my primary laptop at the beginning of may, but i might be able to fix it.

right now, i'm just trying to put together a series of loose ends, and then get back to the recursion. at some point soon, i'll be be back to the concert reviews, and then back to rebuilding. and, i'll have to remind myself where i was, when i stopped to rebuild.

the following reviews now have pictures:

http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2010/10/10.html  (hey rosetta, ottawa)
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2011/01/21.html (braids, ottawa)
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2011/05/10.html (nils frahm, ottawa)
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2011/07/10.html (a perfect circle / electronic picnic, ottawa)
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2011/10/05.html (valleys/suuns/ps i love you, ottawa)
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2011/11/05.html (sheezer, ottawa)

there will be more after 2012, as i kind of made it a habit to take shots before i went out, and still do.

i finally got up until the end of 2011 comprehensively finished before i slept, yesterday.

http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/index.html

i can't remember when i last updated this here, but i've uploaded a lot of videos here:


...and i've updated this list quite a bit, too:


i'm hoping i can get most of 2012 done today. it should be a lit faster, after that.

you ever had a headache for a month, solid?

the relief is the sweetest thing you can imagine, and while i'm aware that i'm under threat of relapse, i seem to at the least have developed a repeatably demonstrable solution to the problem.

so, did the aspirin fix the headache, or did the concussion just go away? i can't know. but, i think i'm going to be a little less apprehensive about taking aspirin going forwards, and a little less tied to some kind of hardcore notion of just toughing it out. i think i have reasons to periodically use it as a blood thinner...

or, maybe it was the blood work.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bloodletting

so, i'm back from round two of the hospital visits (and i stopped to get a blood test, so it was about an hour and a half wait, if you're curious).

i want to be clear that i'm dealing with a serious head injury. whether my analyses turn out to be founded or not, i'm not wasting anybody's time in exploring the full range of possibilities regarding diagnoses, tests and treatment options. that said, i walked out of the hospital a little uneasy about the analysis, and without losing a feeling of needing to monitor myself closely.

after explaining the situation, he started by squashing the idea that i may have had any kind of stroke, mini-stroke or embolism on the night in question - he said there was no way i could have walked away from the situation after having a stroke (i'm not convinced that is true...), that i'm not showing symptoms of a stroke (i'm not sure this is true, either) and that the multitude of classic post-concussion symptoms should clarify the point: i was concussed.

so, it's official: i've been diagnosed with a concussion, and with post-concussion syndrome. that fact carries some weight with it. but, you'll take it for what it's worth, given that neither of us saw what happened.

i'm actually willing to go along with this, though. from this point on, we're going to assume the root cause of the situation was a concussion, and i'm going to have to invest some time into figuring out how that happened the next time that i'm in the vicinity of the club. again: the bouncer told me. but, i was just coming back into consciousness, and it's lost...

well, the next question is obvious: could i have developed clotting as a consequence of the concussion?

theoretically.

but?

but that would mean you'd be hemorrhaging badly, and you're just not showing those kinds of symptoms.

and that's solid? it's not possible that i could get clotting from mild bleeding?

what you're angling at is not impossible, but is extremely unlikely.

well, how do you explain the fact that the aspirin works after a long delay and for a long time, and the tylenol doesn't?

the truth is i can't. sometimes tylenol works, and sometimes aspirin works, and sometimes one works and the other doesn't, and sometimes they both work and sometimes neither do. there's no logic to it.

i suspect there's some logic to it...

there's no logic to it that anybody really understands. we're not even sure how they work.

hrmmmn. but, the absence of a systemic classification doesn't entirely rule out my deduction.

it doesn't. but, if you were dealing with clots, you'd be in far worse shape than you're in.

but, what i'm concerned about is the possibility that i'm developing clots. i obviously hadn't had a stroke yet. but, couldn't the aspirin be thinning the blood and preventing the clot from forming? and, if it is, and i'm on the brink...

there's no "on the brink". it's binary...

----

and, i'm going to stop here, because i know this is wrong. people take aspirin as blood thinners. it is clearly a thing. but, what do i do from this point? yell at him to take a blood test? demand anticoagulants? raise a workers revolt in the er room? demand him to present a source?

i did none of these things. i just sat quietly and waited for him to finish, aware that he had already decided i'm not under threat of anything, and was telling me lies in order to shuffle me out of the place.

i had already reasoned going in that i was unlikely to walk out of the place with anything more than an instruction to continue taking aspirin. what i wanted was a way to measure the concern, so i'd have some quantifiable measurement of the problem. if the situation persists, i'll have to try again.

for right now, i've actually avoided the aspirin up to this point for today. perhaps the pre-clot has been broken up by the aspirin, and that's the end of it. or, perhaps the effects of the concussion are subsiding.

but, i'll reiterate that i've been officially diagnosed with a concussion and post-concussion syndrome, that i need to continue to monitor this and that that might not be my last trip to the emergency room over this.

i should be transporting myself to the hospital right now, but the wind chill has picked up. take off, eh, right? the one night that i need to go for a walk...

my head has been clear enough since about 11:00 am. and, i've been chipping away at the list since around 5:00. but, i can feel it starting to come back, though. that's a clean 15 hours. aspirin just doesn't last 15 hours as an anti-inflammatory agent...

ugh. you can't blame me for not wanting to deal with this. but, no - i need to bundle up and get out the door.

i don't have an actual update to the html file, but the playlists have both update and i've got the first few months of 2012 done. i wanted more than this done, but, so be it...

i need to shave and go.

so, it's consistent - it takes the aspirin about an hour and a half to take effect, and over two hours to really work. when the aspirin is working, i can feel the headache as a dull stab in the back of my sinuses, if that makes sense, but it doesn't overtake me - it allows me to function. the aspirin then works in keeping the headache manageable for roughly 20 hours, before it gets debilitating again.

the last several times i took tylenol, it did not work at all.

i am neither a chemist nor a doctor, but the evidence in front of me suggests that the aspirin is functioning as an anti-coagulant, rather than as an anti-inflammatory drug. the reasons for this are due to the ineffectiveness of tylenol and both the delay in aspirin working, and the length of time it lasts for.

i am going to bring myself back to the hospital over night under the premises of concerns about clotting, and hope they can advise on immediate steps in a way that avoids a catscan.

i am probably not at risk for a heart attack, but i may be at risk for a stroke. and, i may have actually had a stroke on that night, due to the interaction of nicotine with estrogen.

ok.

i ain't dead yet...put the champagne away for at least another day...

the windows are closed. and, my headache is back, albeit not as bad as it was two days ago.

it's been long enough for me to take some more aspirin, and we will see in two-three hours from now if the relief is in the form of aspirin or fresh air, which will answer a more fundamental question: do i have a blood clot in my head?

if the aspirin resolves the pain, i am going to conclude that i do actually have a blood cot, and i'm going back to the hospital with this new evidence, which i believe eliminates the need for a cat scan in moving forwards.

hey. i'm a math nerd. this is what i do: i solve problems. and, i'm right. and, if you're a doctor, you know it, too.

i have this  playlist updated, now, which is actually a big step forwards.



and i'm going to stop to sleep...i've been awake since a little after midnight...

so, i have some good news in the sense that i got a full day in without serious headaches.

but, the real test is as to whether i wake up in the morning or not as i allow the aspirin's effects to wear off.

the windows have been closed for a few hours, and they have to be with the turn in the weather. the headache has actually stayed away, but it's like i'm walking a high wire act and prepared to fall off: i can feel the tension underneath, just waiting to reassert itself

i'm going to keep the windows closed for at least a few days, and we'll see what happens. do i wake up with a headache? does the aspirin work without opening the windows after all, and in such a way that suggests it's working as a blood thinner rather than an anti-inflammatory? and, if so what next...

i'm a little uneasy about this, actually. hopefully i'm still alive in a few hours and can get back to the more formal concert build-up.

the walk to the hospital was truly brutal - i was legitimately in some brutal pain, and rather concerned about it.

but, a funny thing happened when i got to the hospital: the headache slowly lifted. note that my experiences over the last several days has been that i get an hour or two when i wake up, and then a headache i can't deal with until i fall back asleep, when the pattern reverses.

it became clear while i was waiting in the waiting room that what's causing the headache is the gas leak, or the air quality down here, in general. and, that itself was remarkably relieving.

i'm not yet ruling out the possibility of head trauma - you'll recall that i lost my sense of smell for days - but i've got a strong cause and effect on the immediate cause of the headaches being environmental.

i waited to see the doctor, anyways. she actually offered me a catscan as a precautionary measure. i would have taken an mri, it's what i was there for after all, but i didn't see the need to put myself through the radiation risk of a catscan....

let's say i take the cat scan. what next?

you'll come back in a week for another cat scan.

so, how about i just wait a week, then?

it's up to you...

indeed, it is. pro-tip: never trust a doctor.

but i at least got a better grasp on what they can do, based on what it could be.

1) if it's a concussion, there's nothing i can do except wait.
2) if there's bruising or bleeding, they'll have to do scans and go from there.

i've only been back inside for a few moments and i'm already feeling queasy. we'll see how things change when i drop my cart back off and come back in.

it's clear enough, though: the air quality in this basement is toxic and the windows basically need to be open at all times until it's dealt with.

the tylenol stopped working a few days ago.

i tried aspirin this morning with no effect.

i am unable to do anything except stare at the wall. so, i am taking myself to the hospital.

yes: the hospital. a clinic could not do anything except give me drugs (which i don't want, and won't take, unless i get a clear diagnosis first) and send me to the hospital. i want some tests done regarding potential bruising or burst vessels, along with being checked for stroke symptoms....

i'm not walking out of there with a codeine prescription, either. that's how they get you. i'd take a gram of the green, but you have to fucking mail order it....

well, the good news is that my throat doesn't hurt anymore. but, that inflection point didn't go through: my head didn't fully clear yesterday, and took me out several times, including at the end of the night.

i woke up with a mild background headache: it's workable, but a reminder that i'm not over it, yet.

i just finished up the last few shows from 2011 this morning, so i'm making progress. slowly, through a difficult wrench, but surely. i'm going to eat now, and hopefully i'm able to be productive after lunch. but, i could end up waiting for the headache to pass, too.

is this all the result of whatever happened the other night at the festival? i've been noticing a symptom of very bloodshot eyes. but, you'll recall that i was complaining about that weeks ago, and that i thought it was connected to the hep b (which i don't actually have). and, you'll recall that i've been complaining about headaches connected to the gas leak in here...

my nose has not been working recently, but i'll point out that i woke up to that same nasty smell, this morning, that i've been associating with the leaks, which i've been associating with the headaches. how much of this is due to concussion, how much of it is due to gas leaks, how much of it is due to allergies and how much of it is due to the virus are things i'll probably never be able to disentangle.

what i really want is for the temperature to stay above ten degrees so that i can keep the windows open and get some fresh air in here without cranking the heat up.

http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/index.html

this is another way to order the data, and is in some ways more complete, although it is also omits shows where i could only find a clip or two.

obviously, the set has to be from the same tour to be included.

this band was always obscure even amongst obscurantists, so this reunion set might be the best i'll ever find. i was able to confirm, at the show, that they are all cardiacs fans, though.

i'll again put out a request for a full set from 2010 or 2011....if you've got it, get it up and find a way to let me know....

i got nailed by my head this morning and was forced to take a nap. the tylenol just decided to stop working, and left me entirely debilitated. i woke up to a much more normal high pressure, sunny february day - and suspect that the dramatic shift in atmospheric pressure and 25 degree celsius drop over night at least didn't help.

but, it may actually be an inflection point, as it's come down to a mild annoyance. hopefully, i can get a good dent into this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0ixf6eME28

i'm up to mid-2011, now. about to crash....

i will be very productive tomorrow.

http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/index.html

it's two weeks, and my head is still throbbing.

it also turns out that a loss of smell is a common concussion side-effect.

it's pretty clear that i had a concussion, at this point. but, how?

i wish i could remember exactly what happened before i lost consciousness. but, that's a part of having a concussion: you don't remember how it happened.

i remember putting my sweater on to go outside after the ritual howls set, and i remember that adult was playing when i went back in, after i came to. i caught the bulk of their set, even. so, i'm really only missing ten-twenty minutes of the night. so, like....i could have even been hit by the door. you know?

i didn't have any bumps on my head or visible marks. but, i'm clearly dealing with a post-concussion syndrome. and, i don't have any real reason to think it's going to clear by tonight.

it goes away fairly quickly with some tylenol; i'm not writhing in agony, or anything. but, it would be nice if it would go away, now.

i guess i slept all day.

the truth is that the headache never really went away. but, the sinuses haven't cleared, either. so, i still can't say whether i'm dealing solely with a virus, or with a virus + a concussion or even with a virus + allergies + a concussion.

if the virus doesn't go away soon, it might last so long that the concussion symptoms disappear, too - in which case, i'll never know if i had one. shrug.

as with last month, the editing process (i have to write up the blurbs...) is being slowed down by externalities, but i should be able to get it all down after i eat and back to finishing the concert listings. it's easy to blame the slow down on the detour, but we can all see that it isn't the problem....

as of right now, it does not seem likely that i will go out anywhere on the weekend. the weather is also set to turn. but these sicknesses tend to rapidly reverse themselves, and the timing of the fronts is hard to say, as well.

i did get some major cleaning over the last ten hours or so, but it hasn't really resolved the smell.

the truth is that my nose remains unable to discern between different smells, or even the existence of one. the coffee, the toast and the hallway all smell the same to me. but, i'm worried that the background smell of dank smoke has taken over the entire unit.

?

the reason is that the smell is closest to the ceiling, and in every direction. it's even in the farthest rooms, where smoke from two floors up and on the other side can't possibly be seeping in to. i'm almost willing to conclude that the direct upstairs neighbour (the obese one...) started smoking.

but, then again, i always thought he was a secret bathroom smoker.

the reality is that i can't react until my sense of smell returns. i can't even tell toast, coffee and smoke apart. i could be imagining the whole thing.

but, the other possibility is that the ceiling upstairs is still out, or is out in a different place. that would allow the smoke two floors up to invade the upstairs, and then seep down here.

for right now, all i can really say is that i'm not experiencing the turnover in the air that i was hoping i'd experience. the air feels like it's stuck in here, and the open windows aren't really helping much. i'm going to make it a point to turn the heat right off this afternoon.

i need to do some shopping today. it's going to be gorgeous out. i'm only at midday, but i'm a little sleepy, so i'm going to get a nap in, and go from there.

how am i doing?

i'm feeling a whole hell of a lot better. really.

i'm skipping this show tonight:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMueDWG86JU

it's an experiential thing, solely. apparently, they follow the same algorithm every set, so once you've heard it once you've heard it all. and, while i'm sure i'd enjoy it, i'd rather stay in and nurse my remaining sickness.

the headache is gone. but, i've also had the windows open all day and will probably leave them open for the next several days. when my nose cleared enough this morning to regain a sense of smell, the first thing i noticed was that my apartment smells like stale smoke and that it may have been a part of the cause of my coughing fits.

i'm focusing right now on cycling the air out, which is going to mean an early spring cleaning. i want to focus on finding hidden sources of dust. i forgot to clean at all this month....

i've spent the last several days editing and watching vlogs, which are now being uploaded. i'm happy with this algorithm: a few hours to edit for the month, a few days to render, about six hours to watch them and then a few days to upload. then i'm not thinking about it for another month...

i've made some progress with the show reviews, but it's been slow due to distractions. i'm not particularly upset about this. but, i'd like to get over the hump tonight, too.

so, that's the last few days: necessary editing shit while nursing a cold, and being less productive than i could be due to distraction. hey, i read a few things. i'm not wasting time, i'm stretching it out.

i've had a busy few weeks, but the actual reason i've been unproductive is the headache, which is finally lifting - although the congestion is migrating from my chest to my head. every time i've sat down to do something, i've passed out...

i dunno.

when i was a kid, i was diagnosed with "chronic bronchitis" as a consequence of living in a house with a lot of second-hand smoke (my mom was a heavy smoker and largely denied the premise of second-hand smoke as a problem). that's not exactly asthma, but it's in the same neighborhood. basically, i'm not in danger of the scarier complications of asthma - i just cough a lot, sometimes. this is about the right time of the yea for it, and i know there's not anything i can do about it. this is actually one of the reasons it took me so long to quit smoking: i knew it wouldn't clear the bronchitis. it doesn't usually come with headaches or congestion, though. i mean, i might be going through a bronchial fit at the same time as something else, or several things, or something else may have even triggered it (that's something that has happened before...), but it's not the cause of this congestion that happens every time i go outside, or the headaches, or the sore throats.

i'm going to experiment with the claritin by popping a pill every time i go out. i'm putting myself at risk of a false positive for a while, but if it works then i'll stick with it. if it doesn't......i just don't know...

i think i may inquire about some antibiotics for oral thrush at the beginning of the month, or otherwise get him to look at my throat.

on top of that, it was absurdly warm here today for the time of the year, nearly 20 degrees, so my neighbour ruined it by turning the a/c on :(. if he's going to have the a/c on all week, i'm going to have to turn the heat up to 30 to compensate. that's going to make it that much drier in here. but, hopefully i can get the windows open during the day.

for right now, i've finished the editing for vlogs from jan 22-feb 15. they will render overnight, and i'll watch & upload them tomorrow. resources are going to be a little slow on the machine for the night, but the process of building the show review archive can actually even be done offline. i can work in a new window...

i ended up at a concert on saturday night, slept all of sunday and then lost monday and tuesday fighting with facebook. i was then actually more productive yesterday and this morning than it seems.

it's the rightmost column, here, that is what i spend the time on:
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/index.html

the following playlist was updated, concurrently:

it was mostly an augmentation process. so, it was a lot of searching and arranging and downloading. but, it is now much more complete.

i'm going to stop to eat. i do intend to hit the show tonight, but we'll see if i can get out in time or not.

that was a disappointing day: too much ranting.

i should have finished this today. i at least got the framework down.
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/index.html

back at it tomorrow...

so, this process was a little slower yesterday than i'd have liked it to be, and i'm slow getting back to it today, but i'm about to get back to it and expect to get at least most of it done by the end of the day.

the air quality is poor this morning, but it's middling: the fan is enough. but it's annoying. i'll be glad when it warms up enough that i can just keep the windows open all of the time.

i'm firming up saturday as a night out. it's going to depend on how i feel tomorrow. but, i'm actually really not at all interested in anything on the bill; it's all very generic and largely boring. it's the kind of thing that's all image and no substance. it's billing itself as an "industrial" festival, but i'd describe it more as a bunch of millenial hipsters imagining what they think industrial was through the filter of bad films and shitty books. see, i'm willing to shrug all that off, though, for the opportunity to just dance all night. but, i'm a little iffy on the weather. if i don't go, that's a shame; but, i don't feel like i'm missing anything, either. the actual upside is that i'm definitely going to miss the bus, so i'd end up at the works for the rest of the night. that really extends the night. but, the walk is...i dunno...i'm still thinking about it...

if i go, it's going to be against my better instincts. but, i kind of want to support the festival, too, even if i think it's a little weak to start off with, because it's at least a good idea.

for right now, i want to get back to it and hopefully get close to finishing...

i was worried that i was going to have to find a way around my router. but, the update was both a little deeper and a lot less complicated than i thought.

so, the appspot site is now serving from python 2.7:
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/

...which means that google won't shut me down in the summer.

now, to get the show reviews up...

the show schedule for the rest of the month is going to depend on the weather, but is made up of an array of classical & jazz performances and techno nights.

it's not that there aren't rock shows happening, it's that the genre is no longer consistently creative. i understand that rock shows, moving forward, are going to be sporadic. i will need electronic, jazz and classical forms to fill the vacuum...

i'm staying in tonight...

...and then i could be out every other night or stay in for weeks. saturday depends on the timing of the cold front; it's going to have to be warm, though, and seems unlikely.

now, i need to figure out how to upgrade from python 2.5 to python 2.7.

yesterday ended up split between days. that happens when my schedule clashes with my circadian cycle: i end up napping out of sequence, then stumbling through the end of the day until i get back in the cycle. so, i was eventually up yesterday evening around 20:00 and able to lock back into the pattern. i was a little slow getting started, but i'm back into it.

that said, i'm planning on shifting gears for the night, and getting back at the rebuild tomorrow.

first off, i skipped a band called lemuria tonight...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJ4n2b2_RxY

i stated that february could have a lot of shows; it seems like it's going to rather have a lot of skipped shows.

again: i'm not actually a fan of this band. in truth, i had not even heard of them until about a week ago. so, this was another whim show just to go out and have a beer and enjoy the walk. but, the weather turned nasty (again...) and i decided against it.

i think i probably should have heard of them previously as they exist in a genre i like and seem to be good at it, but this is right in the middle of my kind of deadzone period, about 2005-2009. i was more introverted than usual over these years...

as it is, i don't have those memories, and didn't want to go out in the cold.

delicate steve is tonight and it's also pretty unlikely, although i haven't ruled it out entirely, yet. it's just too cold out. i know delicate steve a little bit better: this is a kind of a twisted, post-modern joke that i suspect a large percentage of people aren't really in on. if i were to go at all, it would be solely on a lark, kind of thing. i know i'm going to cringe. the point is enjoying the cringe...

but, i want to do a little research on what the live show is actually like before i rule it out altogether. i dunno - you tell me: is this worth it, or is it just a frustrating tease that ultimately spins out and would be worth a beer on a nice night but is just not worth braving the cold for on this one?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4BvqSE2G7U

it's very low probability. but, i could surprise myself at the last minute. i've done it before...

but, now that i'm past the cloud nothings show last night, what i need to do tonight is my formal run through for the month. that will take a few hours and make the rest of the month make more sense. major question to answer: am i going to have extra cash at the end of february if i don't go to the al di meola show, which is considerably more expensive than the shows i'm used to going to?

when i'm done, i'm going to pivot into rebuilding the show review archive:
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/index.html

this is clearly very out of date, with links to dead facebook posts and a cut off date in january, 2014. but, it will not be very time consuming because all of the reviews are written....

...except the one for the show last night. so, i'll need to do that....

...and we'll have to see where we are when i get there.

update: refractions is posted to may 16, 2015.

update: thru is posted to may 14, 2015.

update: lalalala posted to may 11, 2015.

update: reflections was posted to may 3, 2015.

that is also the end of 2002 in the rebuild, which was a heavy year that was never finished properly, but is now. i finished up until may, 2003 before i circled back to do the reconstructions from tape, so there's not a lot more left to do before i get lost in the interference (that i've still yet to fully resolve).

update: flying was posted to may 2, 2015.

update: my sixth lp was posted to may 2, 2015.

update: untitled is posted to april 27, 2015.

i've had short days for weeks...

i finally get a long day, and the stomach wrench hits along with the warm front.

so, i'm wide awake but have to stop and curl.

i was much more productive, today, getting two and a half months in. or, perhaps, the volume went down. either way, let's hope i can stay this productive when i get back to it on wednesday.

update: the psilocybin symphony was appended to on jan 10, 2015.

i just finally finished the entire rebuild for 2014.

i need to do the entirety of 2015, too, but the posting was far more sporadic. i lost almost all of january to show reviews. februrary, march and april were all spent on the guitar concerto. may put together a lot of loose ends. and, then the interference hit in june and july and i got sucked into the canadian election cycle over the fall and then the american one over the winter and the spring (which was spent archiving...)

the vlogs also start in october, 2015.

i'm going to stop to clean tomorrow. i don't know how much more i'll get tonight. and there's still a lot to do. but, i feel like i just got over a huge hump, too.

update: atom's / taught to twist posted to dec 12, 2014.

update: trepanation nation is posted to dec 7, 2014.

ok. back at it. and, i want to push myself to the end of the year, so i can stop to do some cleaning afterwards.