Friday, April 13, 2018

it turns out that this woman is smoking drugs with her grandkids in the unit, which confirms she's in her 40s. i don't think she's much older than that.

it's just hard to believe that somebody that old hasn't grown out of this yet, or plays top 40 radio at full blast on her stereo. she acts like a teenager.

must have had the kid very young. my own grandmother became a grandmother in her late thirties.

anyways, i got the letter to the property manager, who tried to guilt trip me on it, but that's not happening.

i can't believe she's chain-smoking pot in front of her grandson.

well, believe it lady, 'cause that's what's happening.

this property manager is not going to be of any use to me; she's clearly on the pothead's side. we'll have to see if i can get a more rational/honest response from the owner or not.
smoking is gross.

therefore, smokers are gross.

so, if smokers don't want to be treated as though they're gross then they should quit smoking.

deal with it.
but, i mean, really, here.

what is a better idea?

1) telling smokers to their face that they're disgusting and hoping it sinks in.
2) coddling them about being "bullied" and telling them they're not really disgusting, while secretly agreeing with the bully.

it's not bullying if it's true.

and, you know this is (almost certainly) somebody susceptible to peer pressure, because they're smoking in the first place.

if you follow this line of reasoning to it's end point, you're going to have to go back to the days where models and athletes advertised smoking on tv and in magazines (because that's realistic, right? which brand was most recommended by doctors...?), because you wouldn't want to offend children with all of those gory images of burnt out lungs and chemotherapy patients, right?

i'm not big on political correctness, anyways.

but, this is an issue where it's not just annoying - you are truly doing great harm to everybody by perpetuating the bullshit.
can you look me in the eye and claim it isn't disgusting?

then, why are you allowing your emotions to cloud your judgement?
the question of whether smoking inside is disgusting or not - and thereby whether the person engaging in the behaviour is disgusting or not - is an empirical question to be determined objectively using science.

and, given that cigarette smoke (or marijuana smoke. whatever.) is the most dangerous substance known to humanity, in terms of toxicity level as a consequence of chronic exposure, it would follow with very little ambiguity that smoking cigarettes inside any dwelling is, in fact, completely disgusting - and that it would follow that anybody that engages in that behaviour is also completely disgusting.

if that hurts your feelings, you're just denying the facts, and i have no patience for you and no interest in discussing the issue with you further.

...because i am on the side of science, first and foremost.

which i've been quite clear about.
i never smoked inside, when i was a smoker, ever. ever. ever.

i'd trudge out in -30.

because indoor smoke is up there with dog feces and drunken vomit as one of the most disgusting things you can do to your living space...

i can't stay here.

it's disgusting.
so, i know the psychology i'm dealing with.

well.

they don't care....
i moved in with my dad when i was 13, as my mom had to admit it was my choice. my sister did the same thing.
see, the complicated thing was this...

my mom got a certain amount of money from the state because she had kids. she didn't want to have kids, but she didn't want to give up the extra money (which she spent on drugs). so, she actually fought my dad for custody, and even received child support on top of it - and then took all that money and used it to fuel her drug habits.

the court should have given my dad custody and sent my mother to jail.

but, that was seen as "unnatural" at the time. children were seen as best left with their mothers, even if their mothers are negligent drug addicts. and, here i am, with chronic bronchitis, and uncountable other problems, thirty+ years later, as a result of it.
i can't stay here.
i remember coming home after school with my latch key around my neck, holding my breath before i opened the front door, unlocking it, running to the basement door, and not exhaling and breathing in until i got downstairs - like i was running through a toxic waste zone.
what eventually ended up happening was that my stepfather built me a bedroom in the basement, and the rule was that there was no smoking down there.

i would then pretend i was sleeping so i wouldn't have to sit through meals,  and then come up when everybody was asleep to make myself something to eat. this was when i was like 9.

in hindsight, that may have saved my life.
yeah - it was the teacher that sent me to a doctor.
i've been feeling it come in for a few days.

but, as of apr 13, 2018, the second hand smoke in the unit has officially triggered my bronchitis. this is going to put me in a fit of extreme coughing for the next 4-12 weeks.

once it hits, there is no solution. removing myself from the source of the smoke does not help. there is no way out of this. i will cough and hack and wheeze for weeks, whether anybody likes it or not.

the reason is that my lungs are quite seriously damaged from my mother's heavy smoking habits. they gave me a puffer when i was about seven or so, because i was disrupting the class. i still have one, but it has really never been effective. my mom seemed to understand what she was doing, but really simply didn't care - and may have even taken some pleasure in causing harm.

if abortion was legal at the time, i wouldn't exist; that's the kind of thing you get from mothers that really don't want to raise kids, but are forced to by the government, against their will. when i coughed from the smoke, she'd just yell at me to shut up and light another one.

and, that's all i'm likely to get from these tenants, too.

i can't do anything about the situation besides cough it out and hope i get a reasonable response from management, soon.