let's get some context, so i'm not confusing anybody.

i didn't die my hair red in some kind of act of protest against something. i died it red because i think i look sexy with red hair. so, let's post a few links of fiery red heads, for context.

i mean, if you saw me face to face, you'd see that. it's an issue of trying to communicate over the internet...

and, remember: i'm from the 90s.

the first awesome redhead that jumps to mind is tori amos. she rocks the red well: smart, sexy and ridiculously talented. but, also simultaneously violent and delicate. very put together, but also kind of broken. arguably the perfect representation of red headedness.

http://www.nndb.com/people/756/000025681/tori-amos.jpg

then, there is of course gillian anderson who is and will forever be dana scully. so, let's talk more about scully. again: smart. sexy. a very rational woman - she projects a lot of strength. but, she has her insecurities, too. perfect redhead.

i was a huge garbage fan in the 90s, and it's the same basic formula. the intelligence here always came out more as dry wit. she found a way to balance raw power with oozing femininity that was rare before and after her.

it's true, though: we hit a peak in the 90s. we've been slowly regressing since about 1998.

the funny thing is that i actually think that millennials would want to reverse the decline if they were aware of it. but, they actually seem to be - almost universally - convinced by the theory of progress. it's just bedrock, to them. they've been told their whole lives that things are getting better, and believe it as an article of faith, while being unable to see (and how could they? they have no context) that things are actually getting worse.

i have a math degree. i started off in physics. it might seem a little weird for me to cite the scully effect, and the way i experienced it is no doubt different than others, but her influence on me was not trivial.

http://www.yesmagazine.org/happiness/less-big-bang-theory-more-dana-scully

j reacts to the ideological equivalence between mainstream and counter culture

when i say i reject the culture, that also means i reject the counter-culture, which is also the culture. i get this accusation from time to time that, because i don't reflect counter-cultural values, i must be some kind of faker that is really completely mainstream. what this does is set up a false binary between sanctioned culture and counter-culture, which is actually really just a choice between the culture and the culture. and, in fact, you're so brainwashed that you can't even fathom an alternative...

i actually really don't think that your "cool" emo/metal/hardcore/whatever band is any less stupid than anything you get from mass media. in a lot of cases, i think it's even more stupid. it's all designed for profit at the expense of expression or protest.

somebody that is really outside the culture will not create these kinds of distinctions, but rather reject them as illusory. what is the difference between taylor swift and evanescence? it's marketing. that's it, really. it's fundamentally the same product.

i'm less interested in what is mainstream or counter-cultural or rebellious or whatever else, and more interested in what is real and what isn't. unfortunately, for you, i may happen to be the one to burst your bubble and point out that the things you think are real are actually not.

it's funny the things we might say when we don't really think that anybody is listening.

why do i always fall for poets?

it's not a detraction.

but, it's weird to realize you really do have a type.

i just want to be clear that my primary intoxicant the other night was alcohol. marijuana does not produce blackouts and could not have done that to me no matter how much i smoked.

i had two rockstar vodkas, 6 shots of jager and 3 bottles of beer. i also had a few puffs. no more than that.

but, it wasn't even the booze that knocked me out. i can drink that on an average night. i've done that countless times and avoided the blackout. what knocked me out was that i didn't really sleep the night before.

i go over this in the vlog, but the important thing is not to avoid alcohol but to make sure that if you are going to get drunk then you don't drink heavily on an empty stomach and don't drink heavily on little sleep.

it will build up as the vlogs from the last week publish, but when i say i had almost no sleep it's no exaggeration. well, you can see it from the last few weeks. i simply haven't been sleeping well for the last few weeks. and, in fact i've only actually slept a few hours since i got home.

again: drinking is fun. sometimes. but, drinking on no sleep is dangerous.

that was a bit of a crazy week. i think i needed it as i was getting very unproductive. this week is likely to be a lot of bureaucracy. i should be more productive in a few days.