Friday, October 11, 2019

so, i was out around 17:00, a little earlier maybe, and went straight to my bike. i had a few ounces of vodka left - maybe two shots. but it tasted awful, at that point. i needed mix. so, we put that away for a few minutes...

i didn't notice anything peculiar about my bike at this point; i just unlocked it and started riding north.

i had $17 and change left, out of $120 for the weekend (which is a lot more in cad).

$80 - $15 (sacri moniti) - $15 (beethoven) - $10 (3 beer @ deluxx fluxx) - $2 (1 beer @ pop off) = $38.

$38 + $40 =  $78.

$78 - $18 (smokes + drinks)  - $5 (trumbullplex) - $18 (6 beer @ marble) - $8 (smokes) - $10 (food) - $2 (coffee @ dso) = $17.

nothing was that expensive, it just added up after a long weekend. and, remember: getting to a machine in detroit is hard. i need to deal with what i have.

i didn't budget for that extra pack of smokes, and probably wouldn't have needed it if it wasn't for the fact that i destroyed the previous one. that gets me up to $25, which is more what i was planning for, going into the dso. so, i bought a coffee instead of a beer...

cover at the post-rock show was $10, leaving me $6 + change for mix and beer, and i should say a little bit about the other show that was happening.

the initial plan was not to go to this post-rock show, with bands i was unaware of, with the exception of this local act called torus, which i had missed a few times previously; rather, the initial plan was to see a legendary psych rock act called the legendary pink dots at el club. and, if i had made it through the night with something closer to $40 than $25, i might have done that.

it was really a cost thing, primarily, i'll acknowledge that. the cover at the lpd show was $25 usd, which is about as steep as i'll ever even think about paying. i usually have a hard time, mentally, with $15. i want cover to be less than $10, usually, unless it's something spectacular. then, there's the $8 beer at el club. you'll note the cost of beer elsewhere - it's $2-$3 everywhere else. even considering that the beer at el club is 1.5 beers, you're still looking at over $5, which is like twice as much. with $25 cover, you'd better show up with at least $35 if you want to actually enjoy the night. i just didn't have it on me...

and, might lpd have been spectacular? i'm sure they were in the 80s and 90s and even a good part of the 00s. i'm a little skeptical, nowadays - and i haven't heard anything from them since the last tear garden record. they would be in their late 60s at this point, and no doubt look a lot older; i remember thinking that ka-spel was in his 70s when he was only in his 40s. so, i might have missed an awesome show, but i suspect i was a little too young for it and would have walked out feeling ripped off by a show that was a little slow and prodding for me. that's gen x, for you - always stuck between, in the glut.

i would have loved to see this band in their prime, but i think i missed it and am ok with accepting it.

but, if you do want to check them out, this is as seminal and underground and important a band as you'll ever find: https://legendarypinkdots1.bandcamp.com/album/angel-in-the-detail

they were always mid-tempo, so when i use language like slow and prodding, it's just a question of whether the edge is still there - and maybe i'm wrong, maybe it is.

so, i found this post-rock show for $10 up in hamtramck instead, and it just made more sense, in context. with the $17 i had left after the symphony, there wasn't actually a choice involved, unless i wanted to spend $10 taking out another $20 (which is closer to $30 cdn), and i didn't.

i stopped at the gas station up woodward, first, to get some mix, and was able to find a tall bottle of faygo mt dew clone for $1.20. it said it had caffeine in it; how much, wasn't clear. it did the trick. so, i'm down to $16 + change.

still no issue with the bike, heading up woodward, up grand, up oakland, over clay, past the russell and into hamtramck via the back way, which took me out to the new dodge from the south. i drove by it the first time...

cycling around a few times, i was able to find a wood post to park at, behind the store next door. i didn't check to see what the store was, and didn't think it was important. bike seemed fine when i left it there with my bag, a little before 18:00....

the kids in torus - and these are kids. really. - were out back early, hanging out in their van. they took the tool comparison as a compliment, and claimed their new material sounded like hum, which seemed like shit-talking (and turned out to be). cost of beer at new dodge: $2 on tap. so, i've got three beers left and five bands to see, and i'm hoping this works out...

the first band up was called "rags and riches" and appears to have lost their guitarist somewhere between here and kentucky, instead coming up with two percussionists and a very poppy (like, new kids on the block or backstreet boys style poppy), hip-hop oriented lead singer. there were points were they had three drummers going; the intent was clearly to make the percussion the centre of the act. i'm not sure how compelling it was, but i'd never seen anything quite like it.

i've looked for sound samples, but i can't find anything without the guitarist so you'll need to seek this out on your own.

the second act up was man mountain, and they did a type of slower moving post-rock that's become kind of standard in the genre, since some midwest kids first heard mogwai. it's that very specifically american post-rock sound that my canadian ears thinks is a little too precious and sappy. it's worth checking out as an opening band, but it's exceedingly generic, too, so you shouldn't expect to be surprised or blow away by it.

https://manmountain.bandcamp.com/

au revoir continued on, and were a little heavier, leaning more towards a pelican or caspian sound. the kids outside were talking about caspian. the effects work is maybe leaning a little towards god is an astronaut, with the spacey sweeps, but i didn't catch a synth player.

again: i enjoyed watching this perched from a bar stool after a super long night, but i like the genre, and it is generic. it's good at what it does, but don't expect any surprises out of this.


shy, low then took it up another notch, while essentially carrying on with the same basic idea. again: you pretty much know exactly what you're getting out of this before it starts.


and, torus came on at the end, and played their one 35 minute song, start to finish:

https://torusdetroit.bandcamp.com/releases

so, the sets on this night were...they were what i expected, and both a pleasant and kind of chill way to end a crazy adventure and a reminder of why i tend to avoid seeing this style of music, live. it'd been a while, it was a nice reprieve. it'll probably be a while before the next time.

i first started feeling ill on this night at around 22:00 or so, between my second and third beers at this venue.

it was early when it was done - 23:30. so, i just had to take a nice slow bike ride back to the tunnel, for 00:30. or, so i thought..

i get around the corner to my bike and realize instantly that the tire has been mangled, but i'm not entirely certain, and am still not, what was going on with it. my sweater is still in my bag, as are my empty prescription bottles, my lipstick and a few other pieces of random trash. it seemed clear that the bag had been handled, but there was no apparent effort to take anything out of it. so, what is this, then? is this vandalism? are the cops bothering me (i think they have before.)?

i tried to ride the thing down the block, and couldn't - there wasn't enough air in the tube to keep the tire on the rim. what else can i do but walk home? without rummaging through my pockets, i'm thinking that i have something like $0.50 cents on me, tops. so, i'm expecting a long walk back to the tunnel, and a long night waiting for the bus. but, there's a gas station just past the russell, on clay, maybe i can talk them into letting me try to fill it up...

i finally rummage through my pockets when i get there. the cost of air is $0.75, and i do actually have it on me. score. and, the tube seemed to take it, so i'm hoping it's enough to get home on.

i get around the corner, past grand, and ask somebody for the time: it's not yet midnight. so, as long as the tires hold, i should make it.

it got a little scary moving up woodward past the fountains at the dia, because i could feel it starting to give. but, once i got to campius martius, i knew i'd catch the bus back. and, my stomach was starting to turn on me, too - i really wanted to get home.

customs was easy, although they seem to have been expecting me. i wonder sometimes just how closely the cops are paying attention to me, as they seem to grin at me in weird ways - not unlike my dad used to, when i came home at 4:15, shitfaced, from a friend's house.

did you have a good night?

you can only weakly nod. but, i was actually pretty sober at this point, what i was noticing more was that my stomach was starting to turn. 

i decide to walk my bike home. from here for the night, to ensure i'm avoiding further damage until i can get a look at it, and there's paramedics waiting around the corner. hrmmn. i'm ok, though - i just keep walking. the cops appear to follow me most of the way home, from this point. i actually think they followed me home on friday, too.

i guess they're checking to make sure i don't have any meetings with secret russian spies on the way, there. but, listen - they'd be screwed even if they caught us. we'd use the cone of silence. they wouldn't be able to hear a thing.

i dunno. whatever.

i stopped to get some nachos on the way home, but actually had to wait for my stomach to come down a bit before i could actually eat them. and, by monday night, i was convinced i'd caught strep throat and must have been dealing with the onset of it.

so, what kind of crazy weekend is this? psychedelic rock, kraut rock and noise punk on friday, followed by a grindcore show on saturday that led into a drum 'n' bass party, beethoven's 5th at the detroit symphony orchestra and a post-rock night to close it off. it's a festival weekend every weekend in detroit, if you know where to find it.

at this stage, this appears certain to be the last long weekend of the summer. so, i'm glad i made the best of it.
i left the club at around 9:30 or so, drove by the sound guys (who were setting up at the art of armageddon, apparently), bought some smokes at the gas station, took another swig of that vodka (you don't think i drank all of it, do you? i can't drink 20 ounces of straight vodka, i'll pass out. there was about 5 ounces left.), parked behind the orchestra and stumbled down to the diner to get some eggs. as mentioned, i was there a little after 10:00 - i remember it being 10:14, exactly.

for reference, the symphony started at 15:00. so, i was going to hang out until 13:30-14:00 or something, then go down early, get a coffee and wait for the thing to start.

and, yes, i nodded off, i think for obvious reasons, now that you know the story. but, let's look at the facts here:

1) i intended to be in the diner for around 3-4 hours, on a sunday morning for brunch, from about 10:00-14:00, at the latest. 3-4 hours for brunch on sunday (from 10:00-14:00) might be the most normal thing in the history of normality - if there's something more normal than that, you'll have to be explicit about it, 'cause i can't imagine it.

2) so, i bought eggs and coffee a little after 10:00. let's say it was 10:30. so, let's say it got there about 10:45, which is about right for this place. i bought an extra side of french fries when i was done, probably around 11:30-ish. so, they would have got there about 11:45-ish. i got sleepy when i was eating my fries. i had not yet finished my coffee.

3) so, i must have dozed off - with my fries and coffee in front of me - from around 12:00-13:00.

4) i am in this establishment frequently, and have always bought things when i'm in it. i have, however, experienced some transphobia from the staff that i've largely shrugged off....

so, you can imagine that i was rather baffled when they sent the cook out - pilate-like. he's the messenger. he didn't care. - to tell me i "wasn't wanted here" and would have to leave before they "call the cops".

i'm not sure exactly what they would tell the officers, should they have come in, while i was finishing my fries and drinking my coffee. i'm not homeless. i wasn't asking people for food or money - and i hadn't finished my meal yet. they would essentially have to admit that they were throwing me out because of my gender expression, and i might point out that they're lucky i'm not an american citizen, because that's a lawsuit they'd have lost, if i was. i would have had to leave if it had come to that, surely, but i'd certainly want to get that report and publish it, as well as hand it off to the detroit business association, to let them deal with it.

it woke me up, at least. i ignored the cook, finished my fries, used the bathroom and came back to the front desk.

"can i talk to your manager?"

"what?"

"the cook just came out and told me you were going to call the police. i want to talk to the manager."

"you've been hear since 10:00."

"it's sunday brunch. i. demand. to. speak. to. your. manager."

"ok..."

a few minutes later, this 20-something arab guy comes out. you can put this together, right? he's not the owner here; i know the owner here. so, we've got some transphobic muslim day manager throwing the gays out of a restaurant he doesn't even own. not acceptable, at all. i rightfully gave him shit for overstepping his bounds...

"is that how you treat your customers?"

and i laced into him for a good ten minutes. i had food in front of me. and, yeah, i'm tired, but so what? when you come in and buy something in a restaurant, you get the booth until you're done. i'm not hanging out without buying anything. i'm not staying for a long time after i've finished, either. i'm literally in the middle of finishing a meal, and waiting for the symphony across the street to start.

and, i demanded a fucking apology.

he did give me one. see, and this is the point you actually want to see in this circumstance - you want this person to understand that they're in the wrong, even if it doesn't click immediately, and i think he clearly did realize that, i could see it in his facial expressions. he looked like he was worried he'd lose his job. he didn't lose his arrogance about it, and his apology was clearly coerced and bullshit, but he knew what he did was wrong.

you might expect me to call for a boycott of the detroit coney one on woodward avenue, after that. you might also expect me to stop going in there. i actually think that's the wrong approach, in context - i will continue coming here (and if they call the cops on me for being queer, we can take it the community and let them adjudicate such a thing - they won't win that debate), and i would even like to put out a call for queers throughout detroit to frequent the coney one more often. let's have big, queer parties there every weekend!

there's laws in place that say you can't do what he did, but that's secondary to the general point - you can't let religious groups move in and put down rules and restrictions like this. if the message i got was "i'm a muslim, and i don't like you, and i want you to leave" then my response is "i'm a queer atheist, and i'll go where i please, and if you don't like it then you can leave, yourself.".

so, let's get all the queers to the coney one, let's take this place over; let's make it ours.

when i was done berating him, i went to the symphony a little early, got a coffee and headed in to hear the pre-show program, by the conductor. we're going to split this off, tactically....
i was up late enough in the afternoon on saturday to get my tickets printed before the library closed, but i spent some time writing, and i got something to eat, so i wasn't out of the house until well after 21:00. i was sure i'd miss the show, which was supposed to be over at 23:00. thankfully, it was only the second act playing when i got there....

so, i got to see prissy whip, which is what i was there to see, and who came on somewhere around 23:30, i think. sort of. they were supposed to have a female singer, who was a no-show. i don't think anybody really knew the details except the band, but the rumour floating around was that it had something to do with a possessive boyfriend. she apparently made it the st. louis show on thursday, according to the footage, so something appears to have happened in that 48 hour space. hey, i don't know; i was just at the show, and she wasn't.

so, we got an instrumental set, instead, and it was actually fairly compelling, as it was. they're operating in a pretty syncopated style of noise rock, so removing the vocals just brought out the percussive aspects of the guitars, which you may or may not recall are technically percussion instruments, in a technical and eurocentric sense (i guess the arabs and indians would have a different take on the whole thing, but they're not me, so  they can figure that out on their own). so, they basically banged out this three part drums-guitar-bass percussion set for a few minutes and then abruptly stopped and that was that.

so, i'm hesitant to post something because it wouldn't really be an accurate representation of what i actually saw. but, you can check them out by googling them. they come recommended heavily by deerhoof, and there's reasons for it, even if it's maybe a little closer to melt banana, overall.

i did check out part of the next set, which was by a band called "pig's blood", but it was just screaming and yelling and breaking things and i don't listen to that kind of shit, so i was just back outside within seconds...

i actually spent a lot of time talking to the people outside that night, who were all 30+, and all felt like they were too old to be there, but in fact were exactly the right age. there actually weren't any kids there, and i'm the only one that seems to have actually got their head around this a long time ago: there haven't been any kids at any spaces like this in a long time, now. these kinds of shows are often 40+, let alone 30+. i'm ok with that; i don't want to hang out with kids in their 20s, anyways. but, it seemed to be the first time it clicked for some of these guys.

i also want to make a general point about my social skills when i'm drinking. yes - i'm friendly (in a good way) when i'm drunk. i talk to girls, and i talk to boys, and i talk to people in between, and i don't tend to really think much of it. i didn't used to be this friendly or this confident, though; i didn't used to have the nerve to just stumble into a group of random people of whatever gender and start talking to them, no matter how drunk i was. rather, i used to be a quiet, distant drunk that would sit in the corner and avoid eye contact and only speak meekly when spoken to. so, my confidence is a function of the transition; it wasn't there before, and it won't be there anymore if you take it away. that is, in fact, one of the medical cases for doing it - it gives people better social skills, because they feel more comfortable in their outward presentations. that's one of the things about this that people tend to have a hard time with, because i guess i just come off as having a bit of a swagger sometimes (which is a misinterpretation of the reality).

the actual truth is that i'm actually completely asexual and completely disinterested in romance, and while i do understand that this maybe isn't always as clear as i assume it should be, that doesn't change the truth of it, and shouldn't affect how i'm behaving.

so, i'm talking to what i presume to be a cisfemale about alcohol/caffeine mixtures, mountain dew and rockstar vodka, and she gets bored and walks off when i point out that i don't watch tv, 'cause i guess that had something to do with her perspective on mountain dew. i have heard something about a boycott, but i actually haven't looked into it, and i don't know what it's really about. i don't think i've ever seen a mountain dew commercial, ever. i legitimately didn't ask for her name and don't know it, and don't even actually even care, but am happy to wish her a goodnight, regardless - i'm just about to get up and leave, myself; this is just stage one of a long weekend, for me. this kind of random conversation is something that happens at least a few times for me, every weekend, in detroit - it's nothing special, nothing unusual. but, i look up and there's a dude grinning ear-to-ear on the bench.

"i didn't want to interrupt the conversation, but...."

the implication is clear enough, but it's completely wrong, and as mentioned, i've been through it before. but, i grasp that it's a hard thing to get your head around - you don't see somebody that feels confident in a female identity and is just having a girl-to-girl conversation about beverages, you see a confident guy with an array of pick-up lines that seems to be working, and are impressed by it and feel the need to comment on it. and, maybe you're tickled by the irony of it, given that you might have it in the back of your mind that you'd like to fuck me. but, you're wrong, dammit. every time...

i'm always just looking to hang out, and i'm sorry if i come off as friendly, but you gotta adjust, 'cause i'm not going to tone it down.

anyways..

after i realized the nature of the last band, i decided that i'd finish my spiked lemonade and go ahead on to the club when it was down to a few sips, or mostly done. and, as it was, i was in the process of leaving relatively soon, when somebody handed me a 40 of vodka, and i think you want to imagine a morricone-esque voiceover here, dry and somewhat chapped, just because.

"i don't want it, man. take what you want. i'm done."

we weren't actually in the desert, and the sun wasn't actually beating down (although the weather was pleasant), and he didn't actually spit after he told me to take what i want, and he didn't actually stumble off into the distance, but that is all secondary to the 40 of vodka i've been handed and instructed to do as i will with.

my bottle of mountain dew - 710 ml, or 24 oz - was down to the last fifth or so, at that point. i didn't fill it up, exactly, but i did take a fair amount.

so, i ended up at the club a little bit later and a little bit drunker than i intended to. i am often accused of being drunk when i'm actually not; on saturday, such accusations would have had merit, although i don't actually recall hearing them, which perhaps merely stresses the point.

i remember asking somebody what time it was when i got in. it was 1:15. early enough..

and, i remember quickly buying several drinks. i broke a five, broke a ten, broke the five i got back from the ten and then handed over three crumpled 1's - i remember all of this. did the drum and bass set play late? it seemed that way...

then it's a little blurry. until....

"you can't sleep at the club".

so, i jumped up, checked my pockets. i didn't immediately remember opening my second pack of smokes, and i thought i had an extra three dollars. i felt ok, though. so, i bought another beer and went back to dancing. we're clear, memory-wise, from here until i got to the diner...

what happened? well, you tell me, right. but, i can deduce a few things.

i found my cigarette pack a little later in my other back pocket and was initially confused about it. it had been ripped open the wrong way (from the bottom of the pack) and was half missing, almost as though it got cut up for filter. i was initially kind of baffled by that, but i now actually remember lighting a few cigarettes backwards, taking a few tries to figure it out, and then making an adjustment around it. so, i very specifically recall taking smokes out of my back pocket and flipping them around before i lit them - five or ten times, at least. that's what would happen if you rip your pack open from the bottom. i guess i gave a bunch away, but i do recall smoking out of the pack, on second thought.

in fact, i remember the smell of burning filter, and remember stomping them out, as though they were defective, and the next one would be better, just to have the same thing happen. there must have been a stash of five-ten wasted cigarettes out there, lit from the filter, and otherwise unsmoked.

i actually have a habit of smoking cigarettes backwards when i'm drunk, and only do it when i'm drunk. that's an idiosyncratic giveaway. if you ever see me do this, you know i'm drunk...

i know i was out in the back area when i was pulling the smokes out of my pocket. i wasn't asking around, but that takes me pretty late in the morning.

so, i must have sat down around 5:00-5:30 and nodded off for a few minutes, before somebody woke me up.

as it is, i know i enjoyed dancing to the drum and bass set through the night and through the course of at least the first four beers. i remember thinking "the set is going to end soon", and then it not ending, and kind of putting off having that smoke until it did. the music was good, and the dancing was good, so i kept with it, and avoided going off for that smoke a little longer than i normally would have - a sign i was having fun. and, maybe, the more i think about it, the more i remember buying that fifth beer. maybe? i'm sure i did, anyways...

as mentioned, the sixth beer happened after the nod, and i was able to spend the last hours of the set dancing, as the sun came up - which is the actual point of this sordid exercise. whatever experience i had with that vodka and those cigarettes earlier, i do remember dancing at sunrise. so, i'd argue it was worth it.

of course, it's my fault. i poured it. i drank it. but, i can promise you i'll do the same thing next time, if you give me a 40 of vodka and tell me to have at it, and i don't feel any particular shame about it, either. hey, i don't pretend i'm responsible; i have no responsibility to be responsible. rather, the operative question is this: how often do you get handed a 40 by a stranger and told to go to town with it? so, shouldn't you take advantage of the situation, because it's rare? if it happens again, i'll do the same thing, but what are the chances, right?

the set was done a little early, and the weather was warmer than expected, so i'm outside at roughly 9:00 with some people i think i've partied with before, and they want to roll a joint, but need to get into a car, because they're tired, themselves. so, before i know it, i'm in the car with them. and they're driving....

the driver claims he knows an after hours spot. dude, it's 9:00. you were at the after hours spot. but, we're nonetheless off for a spin, to find an empty spot (of course), before heading back to the bar. but, the puff was well received, just right then.

the audio guys are finishing up, and i had to ask them for a smoke, because i was actually out (or had otherwise destroyed my own pack). so, i'm having a smoke outside the bar when it starts raining, and it passes fairly quick.

"you don't think you're coming back in?", he says. and, this is the only suggestion i received that i may have been a little wilder than i recall...

but, i didn't want to come back in.

"you were on edibles last weekend, you said?"

it was the week before, actually. but, did i tell him that? or did he read it?

well, maybe he can read this, too.

i got to the diner around 10:00, and we'll start a new review for sunday.

Thursday, October 10, 2019

it should surprise nobody that i didn't get out of the house until after 16:20 and missed the 16:30 bus by minutes, realizing the inevitability of it only once i got to the bank machine. so, i uncharacteristically bought smokes and headed down to the bus station to drink an untouched, non-alcoholic mountain dew (i decided i should save the little bit of vodka in my bottle until saturday, and that i'd just get an extra beer or two in or near the venue once i got there, early - intending to get there early).

the box office closed at 17:00, you'll recall, so catching the 17:00 bus over would have meant relying on the hope that there was somebody there between 17:00 and 19:00. otherwise, i was going to have to wait for the symphony to start and i was going to miss the prog show...

worse, i found myself in dire need of a bowel movement a few minutes before 17:00. maybe you've been in this situation, where you have to choose between squirming around on the bus and missing it altogether; i reasoned that it might even make sense to miss it at this point (because my chances of catching somebody at the box office were dependent on them being open for the friday night show), so i ran to the tim's, and did in fact miss the bus when i got out. at this point, i was no longer going to catch an early beer, so i ran around the corner to get a couple of shots of jager instead...

when i finally got on to the bus at 17:30, it was uncharacteristically packed, or at least had more people than i'm used to seeing, which meant a lengthy wait through customs that was even further complicated by a distressed transport trailer that didn't want to listen to the border cops in getting around the corner. so, i didn't get on my way until 18:00...

i got to the dso something close to 18:30, and did in fact get my beethoven tickets for sunday at 15:00. fait accompli. so, i'm off to this downtown bar i haven't been to before to see the psych show...

it's in a basement, it turns out, which i wasn't expecting. the floors are fluorescent and appear to glow in the dark; there's an arcade off to one side. beer is on tap and in plastic cups, which i don't like, but cheap, which i do like. the venue is broadly similar in layout to the shelter down the street. i looked around, but there was nobody outside to start, so i caught sacri monti without the aid of cannabis.

i can't be sure exactly, i'm new to the band, but i think they played their new record pretty much from start to finish in the roughly 40 minutes that they were allotted, which is roughly the length of the record. this is a five piece, with a moog/keyboard player and two guitarists in addition to the rhythm section. i mentioned that there's a dramatic mick ronson influence, but this is just the first thing that jumped out at me - it's, overall, a fairly good survey through early 70s british glam and prog, with multiple references to other seminal acts like hawkwind, pink floyd, king crimson and some genesis, too. this kind of thing seems to continue to go over well in california for some reason; there are contemporary california acts like mammatus and eye (well, ok. eye broke up.) that operate well in this space, while acts from pretty much any other place in the world seem to fall flat on it. maybe it's the angle of the sunlight hitting the ocean. i dunno.

this is probably an acquired taste, but if it is then i acquired it in the womb; i'm native to this, it just makes sense to me. i asked around and people were lukewarm about it, which is technically wrong, but not particularly surprising. every single person at the show should have been blown away by this set. if you get a chance to see this, don't miss it.


the next band up was called maggot heart, and i didn't spend a lot of time with them before i came in; i checked their bandcamp site long enough to conclude it was a lot poppier than the other two acts, and kind of left it at that. structure wise, they were essentially a corporate-style pop-punk band, and not particularly exciting, but, whether it was due to the bill or as a consequence of some other thing, they decided to extend the tracks a little bit, at least on this night. the result was a corporate-style pop-punk band with a jam band feel, which one could argue is sort of what the smashing pumpkins were, although the song structures were far more compressed than anything the pumpkins ever did. but, it ended up being some kind of alt. rock in that space, whether on purpose or not.

the songs were really not exciting, but the jamming saved the set. the drummer was especially useful in saving it...

the thing is that i don't know if what i saw was characteristic of them or not. i suspect it wasn't; i suspect that on most nights, you're going to see a more generic corporate pop-punk kind of set, something like nirvana, maybe. if they do the same kind of set they did on this night, though, they're at least worth not skipping. but, it didn't really speak to me, much - it's not a style of music i spend much time with anymore, at my age.


earthless headlined the show relatively early, and while i think the band is overrated, i was stoned enough to enjoy the set. i mean, listen - on some level you can't go wrong with this. you've got a drummer. you've got a bassist. you've got distortion on the guitar. you've got loud amps. so long as you don't try and sing, you can't fuck it up, right? well, if the audience is inebriated enough, anyways...

my technical nitpicking of the sound as less complicated than others might assume, and consequently sort of pretentious, is valid and everything, but it's secondary to the experience of actually listening to loud, instrumental music while baked.

and, yes, they made me laugh a few times with a series of absurd cliches. they just needed their little stonehenge, and it would have been spinal tap. but, that's fine, if you have fun...

i'm not going to see a band like earthless every night, but it's fun once in a while, if the bill has something more substantive on it. so, that's fine.

and, i had fun. i said that, right? maybe you'll have fun seeing them, too...

just don't actually take them seriously. they can do that enough for everyone else.


i was out of the show not much later than 10:00 - this was an early night - so i hoped to get down to another place i'd never been to before, namely the pop off world arcade over top of the checkers, right around the corner from the tunnel, in order to catch a local synthesizer player do a free set. hey, it seemed worth a beer. he said he'd either start at 21:00 or 22:00; i guess he started closer to 21:00, because i only heard 5-10 minutes before he stopped, and it was just kind of generic vintage synth music. i hope this venue does more things along these lines, because a synth bar is kind of unheard of, but perhaps overdue. i just had the one beer, and i guess i was out of there by 22:30-23:00.


i made it back to phog fairly early, with the intent to catch the late show there, which i largely did....

the first band was called 'of the pack', which is a local band that i've seen on a lot of bills around town but haven't actually seen play. and, i could've sworn that they were a bro-ish hardcore act, but it turns out they weren't; they had a kind of reggae-ish feel, on top of a pop-punk crux. i asked, and they claimed they were never hardcore. what can i say? i was more caught off guard than anything else. they did a cover of 1979 that missed the slur, which is a good way to describe them; it wasn't terrible, but they wouldn't bring me back for more, either.


i wanted to see bike thiefs, which were actually a bit more hardcore than i expected. based on the sound samples, i was expecting something roughly sonic youth-ish, but it actually came off more like very, very early thermals, with the kind of ranted vocals over the noise punk song structures. i found myself nodding off a little near the end of the set, and it's less because i was drunk (i wasn't.) and more because the sound was kind of hypnotic; it's more that they got me in a bit of a trance. so, i don't want to say i was disappointed. that's not quite right. but, it wasn't quite what i expected, either. if i were to see them again, i'd get coffee instead of beer....


i spent the rest of the night at phog, right until last call, got trolled by the friday night bartender about the use value of alcohol vs the use value of soda, and we'll talk about that through tomorrow's review, and stumbled out with a smoke at the very last minute. where's the party? nothing at villain's, which i learned earlier in the night was having a dungeons and dragons night (no joke.), but there's a whole lot of people at the strip club across the way....

i think i've mentioned previously that i've never been in a strip club. i certainly am not very interested about going into one at this point; you'd probably have to pay me to sit through it. i'd probably start crying if somebody tried to give me a lap dance. the whole thing's just insane, to me - i can't understand how these things still exist, in this day and age. but, they're around and there's people at them....

i'm actually hoping to bum a smoke from somebody, actually, maybe chat a little. yeah, it's like 3:30 or something - that's not late, for me. so, there's this guy that's like arab or something, and he's talking about how he's a law student. there seems to be an undertone to the conversation that the way we talk about immigrants in this country is backwards - they're largely upper class, in canada, because we screen them to be. it's the white trash that's poor. he's kind of sick of the racist narrative, is what he's trying to get across, and i actually agree with the point. his father's a doctor, his mother's a nurse, and they didn't raise him to be religious. well, he's out at 3:30 smoking at a strip club, i guess not, right? but, he is rich, though - they raised him to be that.

and, i'm finishing my smoke and about to leave, when these angry guys come stumbling out, and they're giving this guy a hard time because of where he's from. they're not drunk - i'm drunk; they're coked out. and, i've seen this before, actually. they blame bar fights on alcohol, but it's often not alcohol that causes these fights. i've seen enough of them. these fights have two primary causes - girls and cocaine. i think we've probably got both, here.

listen - i'm not going to stand up for some bigoted muslim that wants to nail me to a fucking tree because of my clothing decisions if he gets into a fight with an equally bigoted white supremacist. let them slaughter each other - we're better off if they're both dead. but, i'm not going to let these white trash frat boys rip this atheists' balls off just because of his ethnicity, either. i know what side i'm on, and what side i'm willing to fight for, and it's the side of non-believers and atheists and secularists. and i don't fucking care where you're from, or where your parents are from. at all.

so, they're getting up in his face....

"if you really want to get with the red and white.."

really? i don't know exactly what that means, but it was pretty clearly confrontational. so, i stepped in between them and asked:

"hey hey hey. is that really necessary."

see, in a situation like that, i'm white. i'm not always white, and i'm not particularly white, but, in context, i'm white. and, so that worried them, and you could see it in their eyes.

but, they look away, and they keep running their mouths off.

"i said, is that necessary?"

it was enough of a break that the arab guy was able to slip away, and i followed not long after him.

so, i got home after 4:00, made some pasta and crashed at something like 7:00. day two coming up....
we started last week on friday night, and the primary intent was actually to go down early to get some beethoven tickets. everything else kind of developed out of this.

when i first looked at the weekend, i was mostly just turned off by the weather. sub ten degrees on friday night, and rain on saturday night? well, it's october - i might at least get out for a double matinee on sunday, though, with the 5th followed by the lpd. it also looked like i could maybe catch a late show at phog on friday night, if i could stand the weather.

i had a loose plan, though. there was a late party at marble on saturday, and a punk show at trumbullplex on the way there, so maybe i could essentially come down early and dance before the beethoven show, if i could convince myself that the punk show was worthwhile. it ended up working the other way around, when i realized the show at marble was a drum 'n' bass dj, which is rare in detroit; this then became the focus of the weekend.

so, i bought some tickets for the marble show on friday morning, only to initially find myself stonewalled by the dso. sold out? well, it's the fifth, i guess. after changing browsers (and operating systems), i did realize that there were still tickets, but i'd need a credit card to buy them online. i didn't want to wait until sunday morning, or even saturday night. could i get there on friday, then?

i had in fact been looking at a show on friday at a bar i hadn't been to before called delux fluxx, which is right downtown. for all the time i spend in detroit, i only ever really transit through the core. what was the last show i saw in the downtown core? not corktown, not midtown, not the eastern market, but right downtown? it might have been as far back as early 2017...crywolf at the shelter. i think. the only show i've seen at st. andrew's is swans, and the only other show i saw at the shelter is son lux. you might catch me dancing at a few after hours spots right in the core once in a while, but i otherwise am only downtown for as long as it takes to get out of it. there's just not much there for me, generally.

i had initially ruled the show out, because the headliner (earthless) didn't really grab me, on inspection. i'm generally looking for a level of abstraction that just wasn't really present in the sound, which was more of a cliched kind of throwback. neither the drumming nor the guitar playing seemed that impressive, and rumour had it they were starting to sing, too. ack. so, i had scratched that off, only to notice that the opening band was on teepee - and if somebody from teepee comes to your town, you should always at least check to see if they're any good or not. it turns out we've got a prog band here with a big early bowie or spiders/ronson feel to it. score.

still, i wasn't sure i was going to go until the ticket issue came up, at which point i decided i should go down early and do a few things in midtown. for example, maybe i could drop off some recycling at the depot, finally. it's piling up. but, oddly, the depot was closed on fridays, so i resolved to just go down early to get the tickets. according to google, the box closes at 17:00; if i catch the 15:00 bus, i should get there before 17:00 for sure....

Thursday, October 3, 2019

so, it took me all night to get through the facebook cross-reference, because the site is just impossibly slow. in the mean time, i got distracted and republished my soundcloud page, for dj sets. the facebook cross-reference is at least done.

how do you get your music in the ears of people if you can't find a drummer? i don't like metal, and the punk scene is moribund in any meaningful sense (what is left of it is pretty much just garbage). there's no such thing as alternative rock anymore. so, i'm stuck choosing between folk and techno, and i'm far more techno than i am folk, even if i'm really neither.

i dunno. i see these djs around town that like to pretend they're doing serious art, and most (all) of them aren't. but, this is the medium, so what else is there to do besides deal with it?

i've got a few sets up to start. if i can get some people to bite, and can find a crowd, however small, willing to listen, then we go to the next stage from there.

the truth is that i should have done this a long time ago, actually.

the site is on the side, as well.

https://soundcloud.com/deathtokoalas

Monday, September 30, 2019

first liner note release for inri000

these are the first demos i recorded, written 1994-1996 and recorded in the second half of 1996. this corresponds to the end of my 15th year and the beginning of my grade 10 school year. on the one hand, it's an intriguing document of a socially maladjusted teenage punk. on the other hand, it's a 15 year-old kid learning how to use a recording studio (and how to play the drums). influences are displayed on my sleeve just a little too loudly at times.

i was attempting to create something that could be described by the words disturbing, schizophrenic, unique, bizarre, twisted. looking back, i think i succeeded more than i realized at the time. this is a difficult listen that would be appealing to fans of the obscurantist reaches of 80s punk and 90s grunge. i manage to maintain a strange sense of melody, though. in truth, my current adult self is somewhat impressed with my teenaged self at this current point.

that being said, it should not be forgotten that i was fifteen. i am at times rather crude, and i display a childlike understanding of certain issues. most poetry written at the age of fifteen is not particularly insightful. again, though, i surprise myself at points.

this is the first time i'm publishing these demos in any form. i've remained frighteningly self-conscious of them over the years. over the last seventeen years, the audience has been extremely limited. initial reactions suggested i take some time to perfect my performance skills, particularly my drumming skills. however, this indicated a lack of understanding of my intent in the overall sound. the playing is quite purposefully abstract with the aim of exploring mental illness.

the demos were initially dub-mastered onto a 110 minute tape that would have flipped after the eighth track. that tape was at some point recorded into a soundblaster and compressed very heavily; this is the only source of the material that i still have. so, i had to decompress the files from those 128 (or worse) kbps mp3s and run them through some digital mastering equipment in an attempt to "undo" the compression. what that is is a half-effective trick to recover data that is in actuality forever lost. nonetheless, i should point out that while these files were recorded entirely in 1996, they were substantially digitally modified in late 2013. finalized on june 26, 2016. first liner note release added on sept 30, 2019. as always, please use headphones.

i consider this an archival release with little direct listening value. i've pointed out repeatedly that i was 15. however, various segments have been isolated and pulled out for a higher listenability value over here:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inricycled-a

this release also includes a printable j-card insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries in doc & pdf from all phases of production (1993-1996, 2013-2019). as of sept 30, 2019, the release includes a 47 page booklet that includes journal entries from the remastering process over sept-oct, 2013.
 

credits

released December 25, 1996

j - guitars, effects, bass, drums, vocals, keyboards, tapes, found sounds, percussion, production. 

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-cassette-demo-1
so, as promised, here is an example of the first run of the liner notes.

https://drive.google.com/open?id=1TybN3uKUhEH1KKD8HphcYoFc-r59NqrN

this is just a dummy file; the final result will be three or four times this length. but, considering that my music archive is now nearly 700 pages, why did i cut it down to a mere 47 pages?

a mere 47 pages? these are liner notes. back in the day, when people bought records, a 47 page booklet with digital photos would be the deluxe edition, guys.

the bulk of the writing in the music journal actually exists for the context of the aleph discs, where it will be used as the front-end for an interactive multimedia presentation. this is coming down the road. for right now, what you get is a truncated version of the journal that is relevant solely in the context of it being liner notes. if you want the full journal, it's up for download, too. 

this is one of the things that we've lost in the digital age, so what i'm doing is trying to find a way to bring that back, in a way that makes sense to people that think that physical media is an anachronism. but, they're liner notes - you don't put things like reviews of other people's work, or conversations with friends, in your liner notes. you save things like that for the actual journals.

the above document will be inserted into the following download within a few minutes, in pdf and doc form. future liner notes will not be posted in this fashion.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-cassette-demo-1

the liner notes are also a perpetual work in progress, and they have to be. the next update will be at the finalization stage in mid-2016, which i hope to get up asap, but will also include notes published to youtube over 2014-2015, as well as other things. there will need to be a third update in 2026 (or 2027) that adds all of the loose ends, including the alter-reality posts.

Saturday, September 28, 2019

the fourth entry in the music journal series, which is the month of october, 2013 and is 99 pages long. i am not going to summarize the story, but it is available on the web over here: musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/10/.

this is a compilation of written correspondences that occurred around me over october, 2013. it includes facebook posts, messenger chats and emails with friends and family members, in an attempt to tell the story of how i set my studio back up in windsor after relocating from ottawa and republished my first demo, from 1996. the contents of this download are the dummy track, a word doc file and a pdf file, both written in a more readable, chronological ordering. i've also added the respective files for my other three blogs, for general interest, as well as 98 separate txt documents (essays, notes, scripts and web pages) that are referenced in the journal.

the events documented in this journal occurred in october, 2013 and were compiled into a narrative in several stages over the years 2014-2019. journal completed on sept 10, 2019. released and finalized in doc and pdf format on sept 28, 2019. doc201310.

credits

released November 1, 2013

j - editing, participant

esa (aka shelly teagan) - participant
mom - participant
the oldest aunt's wife - participant
the initial landlord - participant
teksavvy technical support - participant
cbsa technical support - participant

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/10-2013-music-journal
here - finally - is the noise trade link for the readable version of the october, 2013 archive of this blog.

https://books.noiseTrade.com/j/102013-music-journal
last one for the night.

================

inri086?

these are actually rock songs, albeit weird ones. i was shopping them around in the mid-00s, and nobody bit. we'll have a compilation demo up here as i found it, but i'm also going to need to actually finish them up.

i didn't want this to be a studio project, but what do you want me to tell you? i can't find anybody to jam with...and i've been looking for twenty years....

the cd-r from 2005 that i have consists of the first eight tracks, and i'm going to publish it that way, as is. i was considering adding a ninth track that i cut at some point, but decided against it - this will come up elsewhere. there is also a tenth demo in this collection that was dismantled into different tracks, and will eventually come up as a part of a similar collection dated to mid-2004.

there are two different types of tracks in this collection. some of these tracks will be worked into the trivial group or proverbs symphonies, whereas others will need to be completed as standalones in the 2004-2005 space, depending on where i think they best fit.

see, i'm tempted to label this proverbs, but don't actually want to. the tracks that weren't put aside for it don't have vocals. but, they weren't supposed to be trivial group, they were supposed to be a band project. i was using the pseudonym "whore to culture" for a little bit, but, in hindsight, i don't really like it - and i never finished anything under the label. i think that was mostly xenophanes, which is definitely trivial group, now.

on the other hand, were any of the trivial group tracks intended to be studio projects? no...they just all ended up that way...so that's less a difference and more a commonality...

and, are these tracks that different than trivial group? not in the form they're in. if i were to just play the trivial group tracks on guitar, they'd be sort of similar, wouldn't they?

in fact, i could conceivably expand this collection by isolating some of the other guitar tracks in the other trivial group stuff, but i don't want to do that, either. i mean, i could take the style way back - this isn't my first demonstration of impressionist jazz punk. i may consider creating a second companion disc that just has the guitar parts from all of the trivial group material, but i want to leave this specific disc exactly as it is, which is exactly as i found it.

these specific tracks were written at various points between 2003-2005 and performed via a line-in directly into my soundcard, with no effects, in my apartment on prince of wales in ottawa on august 21, 2005. a handful of cds were then burned, and left out randomly at various places around town where i hoped a drummer would find them. ripped back to digital on april 12, 2014. uploaded and published without further modification on sept 19, 2019. as always, please use headphones.

cover art by sarah.
 

credits

released August 21, 2005

j - guitar 
so, i want to get the journal for 10/2013 up first, but i think i can publish download-only versions of inri075, inri077, inri079, inri080, inri081, inri082, inri083, inri087, inri088 & inri090 over the next few days, and am going to make it a priority after i get a rough run on the legal stuff done..

what i can't do would be the lost symphony (inri076), the cycles per second lp (inri085), the throatmotor fragment (inri086), inri089 (the trivial group 2xlp needs the lost symphony, first), inri091 (the crash), inri092 (genesis) or inri093 (percussive works). these numbers are not very useful right now, but you get the idea.

i'm just itching to get some more structure in place. i want to get back to recording...
i've also put this ep up for download.

===============

the very beginning of a long paused project built around the idea of converting ratios directly into music using matlab.

i'm going to leave this as a one-track single dated to november, 2004 and finish the idea, for release in....2020?

this was created for the requirements of math 4822, a course on wavelet theory, at carleton university in the fall semester of 2004. programmed entirely in matlab over a weekend in nov, 2004. uploaded and published without further modification on sept 19, 2019. as always, please use headphones.

credits

released November 30, 2004

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/the-spontaneous-combustion-of-leonardo-pisano
so, i'm not republishing this as download only just quite yet.

but, i will be in a few days.

i'm going to need to set up the other machine, briefly, to do it, and i'll need to get the fan back up and running in here before i can do that. it's just a question of setting up cubase to line the samples up via phase reversal. i can't do that on the laptop....

it's otherwise settled on and done.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/ftaa
so, we'll need to re-publish this as physical media when the time comes, but the music is at least finished, so why not acknowledge as much and allow for download?

=============

an art show demo, uploaded as is. inri078.

it's not a complex story - sarah wanted to have a showing of some of her paintings in her apartment, so she asked me to write some music for it. i just took some of the things i was working on and put them together.

this would eventually become the core of the next symphony.

initially written and recorded over the second half of 2003 and the very beginning of 2004. compiled on january 23, 2004. ripped from cd-r on april 11, 2014. finally uploaded and published without further modification on sept 18, 2019. as always, please use headphones.

credits

released January 23, 2004

j - all sound

Friday, September 27, 2019

so, we've got some new cover art up on what will probably inri085:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/the-spontaneous-combustion-of-leonardo-pisano

leanardo pisano is fibonacci - leonardo of pisa. i might change that to a wrinkled shot of fibonacci, but that gets the point across for now.

...& also for what will likely be inri087:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/xenophanes

But if cattle and horses and lions had hands
or could paint with their hands and create works such as men do,
horses like horses and cattle like cattle
also would depict the gods' shapes and make their bodies
of such a sort as the form they themselves have.
...
Ethiopians say that their gods are snub–nosed and black
Thracians that they are pale and red-haired

Thursday, September 19, 2019

so, we're going to stop there at the end of period 3.

that is by no means comprehensive or exhaustive, but it's a good teaser (and a good plan) for what i've got in front of me for period 3, which was about 08/2003-03/2007.

most of it is mostly done. there's really just the lost symphony, the throatmotor fragment, the crash and the matlab project....
inri092?

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/percussive-works
inri091?

most of my songs begin as conventional guitar songs before they get ripped apart and demented into various abstract concoctions. that means that a lot of my pieces have two different versions. i've always deferred the raw guitar versions to eventual live performances, but i'm at a space in life where i realize that these live performances are not likely to ever materialize. so, i'm going to compile the live/guitar versions of my larger pieces here.

it's unclear to me at this point where i will space this in my discography, but it will probably be around 2008.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/genesis
inri090?

this is the introduction of a symphony i started at the end of 2006 and had to abandon due to life circumstances.

this introduction is very noisy, and i'm somewhat impressed by myself listening to it right this minute.

but, the second - incomplete and unreleased - section sounds like al di meola jamming with the aphex twin, and that's a better way to describe the overall intent.

this might end up as a tetris release and is probably the end of period 3.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/the-crash
inri088?

this is the upcoming ninth album. disc 1 is the first two tracks, disc two is the second two.

for now, just fast forward through the three minutes of silence. the lost symphony will be the fourth track; to an extent, xenophanes is just the introduction to it.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/e
inri087?

this extended ep will be a comprehensive exploration of all of the versions of this recording. i've never been fully certain if this recording is done or not, but i'll have to decide sooner than later.

for now, here is the newest version that exists, which is instrumental (there are vocals.) and from early 2007.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/xenophanes
inri086?

these are actually rock songs, albeit weird ones. i was shopping them around in the mid-00s, and nobody bit. we'll have a compilation demo up here as i found it, but i'm also going to need to actually finish them up.

i didn't want this to be a studio project, but what do you want me to tell you? i can't find anybody to jam with...and i've been looking for twenty years....

the cd-r from 2005 that i have consists of the first eight tracks, and i'm going to publish it that way, as is. i was considering adding a ninth track that i cut at some point, but decided against it - this will come up elsewhere. there is also a tenth demo in this collection that was dismantled into different tracks, and will eventually come up as a part of a similar collection dated to mid-2004.

there are two different types of tracks in this collection. some of these tracks will be worked into the trivial group or proverbs symphonies, whereas others will need to be completed as standalones in the 2004-2005 space, depending on where i think they best fit.

see, i'm tempted to label this proverbs, but don't actually want to. the tracks that weren't put aside for it don't have vocals. but, they weren't supposed to be trivial group, they were supposed to be a band project. i was using the pseudonym "whore to culture" for a little bit, but, in hindsight, i don't really like it - and i never finished anything under the label. i think that was mostly xenophanes, which is definitely trivial group, now.

on the other hand, were any of the trivial group tracks intended to be studio projects? no...they just all ended up that way...so that's less a difference and more a commonality...

and, are these tracks that different than trivial group? not in the form they're in. if i were to just play the trivial group tracks on guitar, they'd be sort of similar, wouldn't they?

in fact, i could conceivably expand this collection by isolating some of the other guitar tracks in the other trivial group stuff, but i don't want to do that, either. i mean, i could take the style way back - this isn't my first demonstration of impressionist jazz punk. i may consider creating a second companion disc that just has the guitar parts from all of the trivial group material, but i want to leave this specific disc exactly as it is, which is exactly as i found it.

these specific tracks were written at various points between 2003-2005 and performed via a line-in directly into my soundcard, with no effects, in my apartment on prince of wales in ottawa on august 21, 2005. a handful of cds were then burned, and left out randomly at various places around town where i hoped a drummer would find them. ripped back to digital on april 12, 2014. uploaded and published without further modification on sept 19, 2019. as always, please use headphones.

cover art by sarah.
 

credits

released August 21, 2005

j - guitar 
is this inri085?

i don't know. i'll need to do something with this, but i may work it into one of the other pieces...

there's about another 15 minutes to this piece, btw.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/throatmotor-fragment
inri084?

the very beginning of a long paused project built around the idea of converting ratios directly into music using matlab.

i'm going to leave this as a one-track single dated to november, 2004 and finish the idea, for release in....2020?

this was created for the requirements of math 4822, a course on wavelet theory, at carleton university in the fall semester of 2004. programmed entirely in matlab over a weekend in nov, 2004. uploaded and published without further modification on sept 19, 2019. as always, please use headphones.

credits

released November 30, 2004

j - matlab programming, digital wave editing.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/the-spontaneous-combustion-of-leonardo-pisano

Wednesday, September 18, 2019

inri082?

this extended ep will be a comprehensive exploration of all of the versions of this recording.

for now, here is the maximal version, which contains a poem that was written in mid-2004 but not added to the track until 2011 (and will be removed for the album version).

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/interplanetary-isomorphism
inri079. seventh record.

audio needs to be replaced, items need to close..

...except that i think i did replace the audio, already. so, i'm just looking at final sequencing decisions; this is just about done.

it's the sample-free, (mostly) instrumental reclamation of my seventh lp.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/ftaa
an art show demo, uploaded as is. inri078.

it's not a complex story - sarah wanted to have a showing of some of her paintings in her apartment, so she asked me to write some music for it. i just took some of the things i was working on and put them together.

this would eventually become the core of the next symphony.

initially written and recorded over the second half of 2003 and the very beginning of 2004. compiled on january 23, 2004. ripped from cd-r on april 11, 2014. finally uploaded and published without further modification on sept 18, 2019. as always, please use headphones.

credits

released January 23, 2004

j - all sound

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/art-show-demo
inri077.

these are some demos that i recorded on my 4-track in sarah and heather's apartment on dalhousie in ottawa in late 2003. i still have the tape, but i haven't digitized, yet.

the only thing i transferred was a section that became "like divine amoebas", because i was using it, directly. the non-digitized sections were mostly for the lost symphony, iirc.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/bedroom-cassette-demoes
i will finally complete this symphony, soon.

for now, here's a demo that was recorded in the winter of 2007.

inri076.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/the-lost-symphony
inri075.

i wrote this song on a beach in kelowna in mid 2003. it looked a lot like the picture...

there's a lot of space in the track, which is intentional. in the final recording, i filled it out with birds chirping, but the initial intent was something out of a john cage piece - listen to what's around you. relax...

that said, a live version of the track at the time would have featured me playing multiple parts at once, which were separated in the recording for tonal variance. i'm hoping that i find a fuller recording, but here's a background track, for now.


https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/kelowna
so, we're going to put some teasers up for inri075-inri???.

here we go...
it's been too long, so i should remind people what the next stage is, once i get all this journal writing done.

period 3 is next and will start in seriousness when i get back from bc in mid-2003.
this period was unstable, and unfocused, overall, but i got a fair number of demoes down, at least.

i've also made some tracks public that were previously hidden, even though it's going to take forever to do it.

1) inri075 needs to be cleaned up, but is essentially done.
it's some demos recorded over the second half of the summer of 2003 in a psychedelic-prog style that document my immediate feelings after getting back.
this should be an ep.
sept 1, 2003.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/kelowna

2) inri076 is the second of four half hour epics that will make up the trivial group 2xlp.
there are rough demoes dated to much later, but i'd be starting this from scratch, and it will be a major project to finish.
there are no serious demoes because i was living on sarah's floor at the time, due to being thrown out of my parents' basement.
i don't even remember why. i think i called my stepmother psychotic (which was just a statement of fact).
this will likely be a lengthy ep that will at least include instrumental and vocal versions.
this is more of a rock symphony than reflections, but the end project will be quite psychedelic.
i had been listening to a lot of 'soundtracks for the blind', and you can tell.
this would be symphony 9.
nov 1, 2003.
note, however, that i may have to extend the inri numbers if i decide to release some singles dated to october, 2003.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/the-lost-symphony

3) inri077 is literally a couple of four-track acoustic demoes that i recorded on sarah's floor.
these pop up elsewhere, but they're their own thing, too.
this should come up as is, i'm just waiting for inri #s.
dec 1, 2003
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/bedroom-cassette-demoes

4) inri078 is a recording that sarah asked me to create for an "art show" she put on in her apartment.
it's just some rough versions of some things i was doing, but it's it's own document, too.
this should come up as is.
jan 23, 2004.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/art-show-demo

5) inri079 is the ftaa lp, which is my sixth official record.
i'm dating it to june 1, 2004 because that's when i first constructed it, but the audio needs to be replaced with final versions of each of the tracks.
there is an older version of the record there, already.
this should otherwise be quick.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/ftaa

6) the tenth symphony is dated to aug 15, 2004. while it is done, a nice compilation will need to be constructed.
no audio here, yet.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/interplanetary-isomorphism

7) the cycles per second ep came out of a course on wavelet compression that i took in 2004.
this ep is done, it just needs an inri #.
it's also the front-end for a noisy matlab project that will be entirely prgrammed and will be my eight or ninth record.
if i ever get through this, it may be the template for further post-discography composition.
nov 1, 2004.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/the-spontaneous-combustion-of-leonardo-pisano

8) i briefly played bass, as a favour to the guitarist, for an ottawa pop-punk band called throatmotor.
there was some discussion around doing actual interesting music, but it never materialized.
this is an attempt on my behalf to contribute to the writing which was, as always, simply ignored.
i'm not exactly sure what will be done with this, yet.
may 1, 2005
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/throatmotor-fragment

9)  this is the trivial group lp, which i have dated to june, 2005 but will probably move to past the fourth symphony, xenophanes.
the components will be reflections (8th), the lost symphony (9th), interplanetary isomorphism (10th) & xenophanes (11th).
the first and last two are largely done, while i haven't started recording the second.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/e

10) i made an attempt over mid 2005 to start a more conventional rock band by floating some rock songs that i described, at the time, as "impressionist jazz punk".
these tracks were actually written between mid-2003 and mid-2005, but they never got beyond the guitar stage, because i wanted to perform them with an actual band.
the compilation is dated to mid-2005, but we'll have to see what i do about actually completing them.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/impressionist-jazz-punk

11) this is the fourth trivial group symphony and 11th overall, entitled 'xenophanes'.
dated to sept 1, 2005 for now.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/xenophanes

12) when i get there, i'll create an lp of music i created from 1998-2006 for a scholastic reason.
dated to may, 2006.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/scholastic-pieces

13) this is the introduction of a symphony i started at the end of 2006 and had to abandon due to life circumstances.
this introduction is very noisy, and i'm somewhat impressed by myself listening to it right this minute.
but, the second - incomplete and unreleased - section sounds like al di meola jamming with the aphex twin, and that's a better way to describe the overall intent.
this might end up as a tetris release and is probably the end of period 3.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/the-crash

period 4....the bronson years.

14) this is a good way to start period 4.
it will need to compile just the guitar parts for all of the later period symphonies.
dating it to early 2007 makes sense, but we'll see if it's actually right or not when i get there.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/genesis

15) this will need to come up at the end of period 3, and will be a collection of midi percussion renders for tracks composed over 2000-2007.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/percussive-works

16) this is a messy, out of sync demo that represents the beginnings of what was supposed to be the tetris project.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/evil-is-a-human-construction

17) by combining this with the guitar demos, it is possible to get a rough idea of what the first three movements of this lp will sound like. there are five written movements.
dating is unclear.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/proverbs

18) i started writing this concept record weeks before i got evicted from the apartment on bronson, in mid-2011.
it's very much the end point of the discography, at this point.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/orb-symphony

Saturday, August 24, 2019

i had to update the music and politics journals for 09/13, as i missed a conceptual component, namely the last date of modification of the installation files that were being installed over this month.

the update is minor: it is simply the name of 41 installation files, in the form of isos & exes, as well as some reg and txt files. this should help document the kind of software that i started off with in 2013, or, stated equivalently, that i left off with in 2011.

the documents are updated at bandcamp
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/09-2013-music-journal

and also at noise trade:
https://books.noisetrade.com//j/092013-music-journal

the master document for october is already done, and it should not take long to get the next entry up.

Thursday, August 15, 2019

the third entry in the music journal series, which is the month of september, 2013 and is 138 pages long. i am not going to summarize the story, but it is available on the web over here: musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/09/.

this is a compilation of written correspondences that occurred around me over september, 2013. it includes facebook posts, messenger chats and emails with friends and family members, in an attempt to tell the story of how i set my studio back up in windsor after relocating from ottawa. the contents of this download are the dummy track, a word doc file and a pdf file, both written in a more readable, chronological ordering. i've also added the respective files for my other three blogs, for general interest, as well as 82 separate txt documents (essays, notes, scripts and web pages) that are referenced in the journal.

the events documented in this journal occurred in september, 2013 and were compiled into a narrative in several stages over the years 2014-2019. journal completed on july 30, 2019. released and finalized in doc and pdf format on aug 15, 2019. updated on aug 24, 2019. doc0913.

credits

released October 1, 2013

j - editing, participant

esa - participant
nana - participant
the surviving uncle - participant
the initial landlord - participant
teksavvy technical support - participant
dr. robert clarke, dentist - participant

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/09-2013-music-journal
here is the noise trade link for the readable version of the september, 2013 archive of this blog.

https://books.noisetrade.com//j/092013-music-journal

i clearly need to pick things up a little....

some loose ends tie up over october, and i think the process should be faster moving forwards, as i think everything is already mostly posted.

Sunday, July 14, 2019

the nice thing about bandcamp is that you can always redownload an album once you buy it, even if i add tracks to it.

so, i'm going to build the liner notes and leave them in progress, meaning that if you buy the download you'll get the notes that exist, until they're done. that means that i should be able to start closing them in real-time starting in 2026.

events. shit happens. this is what it is.

i just don't want to sit down and do a memoir off the top of my head; i'm going to forget things, it won't be organic, etc. doing it in real-time means i'll have time to work it out, plan it through, etc.

so, i was going to flip back to the journal i found over christmas break, 1996, which would have started in mid-1993, between grades 6 and 7. i switched schools at the time, as is normal to do. but, now i can maybe start between grades two and three, which is when i switched elementary schools on the recommendation of my very silly mother, who was obsessed about there being a playground (even though i tended to spend my recesses in the library). what year is that?

summer of 1993 --->7
1992--->6
1991--->5
1990--->4
1989---->3

so, i'd have to start in the fall, i guess.

that's not so crazy. it won't be my main focus, but it'll give me some more time to read through all these old books and write these old reviews.

so.

1) legal documents.
2) rebuild and organize from 2013-2017. i keep pointing out that this should be a relatively quick process, i just haven't been back at it for a few months, now. soon.
3) back to recording, including getting right into the alter-reality, it seems.
...and, in the mean-time, let's hope i can get through 2003-2006, at least.
that means that when the alter-reality comes up in 2021 or 2022, it should come up over here:

https://thejournalofj.blogspot.com/

and, i'll want to actually stick to it this time.
so, i'm getting itchy and getting impatient and wanting to move on. if i move in periods, and i know i do, i'm getting ready to move to the next one after somewhat of a break.

my plans to have an alter-reality staggered over twenty years have been essentially ruined by legal battles that are of little fault of my own. i left off at the end of 1996, and would have to run through three years at this point. this really defeats the purpose of actually doing it; the purpose was to run through in real time.

that said, i do not want to permanently close these releases until the journal is written. that is, i don't want to discard the concept. so, what do i do?

i'm going to change the time frame, again. i don't have any other choice, really.

so, the alter-reality is now staggered by thirty years instead of twenty, meaning it's mid-1989 in the alter-reality, and i'm only eight years old. i was neither writing in a journal, nor reading books, nor playing guitar at that point. so, there won't be any further entries for a few more years, at least.

but, what that means is that i'll be able to run through the entire 90s in one piece as it comes up, in real-time. and then the 00s. the cut-off point remains mid-2013.

i'm going to continue pushing forward with the blog from that point forward, in the format i've been pushing. so, expect me to fill out entries from 2013 to noow and release them over noise trade in the format i have been releasing them in.

and, then i'm going to get back to actually recording.

this week, i need to write some legal papers. if i'm lucky, this process should get me on the right step forwards to having the conditions required to finish the discography.

Wednesday, May 1, 2019

the second entry in the music journal series, which is the whole month of august, 2013 and is 220 pages long. i am not going to summarize the story, but it is available on the web over here: musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/08/.

this is a compilation of written correspondences that occurred around me over august, 2013. it includes facebook posts, messenger chats and emails with friends and family members, in an attempt to tell the story of the move from ottawa to windsor. the contents of this download are the dummy track, a word doc file and a pdf file, both written in a more readable, chronological ordering. i've also added the respective files for my other three blogs, for general interest, as well as 17 separate txt documents (essays, notes and scripts) that are referenced in the journal.

the events documented in this journal occurred in august, 2013 and were compiled into a narrative in several stages over the years 2014-2019. journal completed on april 30, 2019. released and finalized in doc and pdf format on may 1, 2019. doc0813.

credits

released September 1, 2013

j - editing, participant

esa - participant
mom - participant
sister - participant
nana - participant
step-mother - participant
the surviving uncle - participant
d - participant
jeff - participant
rli - participant
ms. jeffreys - participant
mackaye - participant

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/08-2013-music-journal

here is the noise trade link for the august, 2013 archive of this blog.

https://books.noisetrade.com/j/082013-music-journal

Saturday, April 20, 2019

there's now a link to a consolidated rss feed, the 6 blogs + 4 youtube sites, which is the best i can do. i will update this link as it improves itself.

but, i cannot get rss feeds from bandcamp, noise trade, patreon or facebook, unfortunately. in a sense, that is irrelevant, as i should cross-reference everything to the blogs; this feed will give you everything, and double or triple a lot of it.

http://www.rssmix.com/u/8317252/rss.xml
i also attended a yamantaka // sonic titan show on monday night, before i left for toronto early on tuesday morning. i knew this was coming, but didn't want to commit until the last minute, because i didn't want to put missing the bus in question, and i knew it would be a long day. in the end, i decided i wasn't sleeping anyways, so i'd might as well go.

also, i hadn't been to a show in windsor in a long time and have reason to think i might not be to another one here in a long time, as well. there's just not much happening in the city that i'd be interested in...

...and, i needed the fresh air....

i decided to try an experiment with my new drink on the way in. i had already determined, through careful measurement, that the volume of a pill bottle (that is, the area of the circular opening of the cylinder as a cross-section of the imaginary plane that intersects the cylinder orthogonally, multiplied by the length of the cylinder itself) is roughly the amount of vodka required to emulate a mix of my now unavailable rock star vodka, and that simply dumping a pill bottle of vodka into an empty bottle of mountain dew, and then filling that bottle up with mountain dew, would be an easy way to rebuild the drink. while my sense of smell has it's limitations, i was not able to sense the slightest indication of the alcoholic nature of the drink, nor was i able to remotely taste the alcohol in it. success...

the walk was a little longer than intended, and i wasn't sure i was going to get in. the initial request was in fact denied, so i took a walk around the corner to think it through and came back with a compromise:

i know you're sold out, but i'm here, and i was actually just looking to see the first band, anyways. so, would it be possible to let me in for the first set, and then we can figure out who is staying and who is leaving?

"yeah, that works, just find me after the first set."

i'm not sneaky, i'm just rational. honest.

in fact, i wasn't sure if i was going to stay for the whole show or not; it was an honest claim of intent, due to the scheduling concerns around the bus ride out. i think i had decided that it was going to depend on whether i found some drugs or not, and of course i did, and rather fast.

it's legal, but you can't buy it anywhere.

"yeah. never stopped me before."

i had seen yamantaka // sonic titan previously, at zaphod's in ottawa, back in early 2012. i remember the show being kind of intense in a noisy kind of way, even while delving into this kind of japanese opera that just came off as kind of strange. i remember not fully understanding it, and not being particularly driven to; it was a strange cultural synthesis in the sense that it was a japanese noise rock band (something i thought i understood.), albeit from canada, that came off as more traditionally japanese than any japanese noise rock band i'd ever heard before, and i was really willing to just leave it at that. i've missed them several times since, but never at this small venue here in windsor, which is itself a draw when it gets the right acts in.

listening to the new(est) record a few times before the show led me to the conclusion that they'd toned their sound down a lot, and by incorporating a kind of syrupy pop layer that, to be consistent, almost sounded k-pop or j-pop in origin. but, the band the new record reminded me most of was actually ghost, in it's combination of prog-metal type guitar riffs with keith emerson style organ masturbating and sappy pop hooks, right down to the face-painting. i might normally write something like this off as silly, but i decided on this night that it was good enough for the walk...

it's a small venue, capacity less than 100, so you literally can't be more than ten feet from the stage. as such, an aspect of the show was the rawness of it. i must say that i wasn't expecting to get the full vocal treatment with the handheld drum and the whole bit, but that the first singer (they have two singers.) really managed to fill the room up with her voice, including for the tracks that i am presuming are traditional japanese chants, but could be easily mistaken for native american singing. the show was otherwise a competent working through a sampling of the slicker, glossier and proggier side of their discography.

i needed to get out of the house, and it was worth it....

i will eventually upload the last track they did, which was a cover, but there's a recent set here, for now:


as expected, i was allowed to stay for the second set.

i had seen the acid mothers temple before as well, and i'm really not much of a fan, although i do have a fond memory of the show as i got to watch a band i'd never heard of, mammatus, completely blow them off the stage. so, i remember that acid mothers show in ottawa as the night i found mammatus. if i weren't for the mammatus set, though, i would not remember the night so well, as the acid mothers were just kind of prodding and largely boring, terms i would use to describe them in general.

i will acknowledge that they were in truth better on this night than they were on that night in ottawa, more than ten years ago, and that a lot of it had to do with their drummer doing this kind of keith moon routine, where he demonstrated his displeasure with the mopiness of the singer by descending into these cacophonous outbursts, and then got visibly scolded and even drowned out by the guitarist for it. while i think that the routine was actually real - that there is a legitimate conflict over musical direction between the singer and the drummer - it could have just as well have been an act, and considering how frequently this band cites legacy rock cliches, nobody would have questioned it, either. as it was, intentional or not, i got the reference and a bit of a kick out of it on that level. but, the basic boringness of the act remains clear, and had the drummer not repeatedly misbehaved, i would have walked away from it without much to say.

this appears to be the set from the same show as above:


the walk home was pleasant, and while i told myself i'd get everything ready before i napped, i had to succumb to the intoxicants and get some rest. but, this was actually useful to me, as it ensured i got some actual sleep before i went into toronto.