my pants and shoes from last night are both demoed, like they've been over used heavily by some skate kids. for the shoes, it's the kind of thing that shoe goo fixes, although the pants are eaten right away at the cuffs. the pants were previously a little ripped, but it was nothing like that. i must have been running through a field or something. they look like they were for real cut up...

i'm not a fan of ripped jeans as a fashion statement. it's bourgeois.

i must have been with at least one other person, otherwise i would have vlogged. i refuse to vlog when i'm near people. but, as soon as i get walking..

see, if i had left the bar alone, i would have recorded it. even if i was too drunk to remember it, i would have recorded it. eventually. there's no exception to this, basically. it's routine. therefore, i left the bar with somebody.

i regained consciousness around 5:30ish. i have every reason to think i was probably at the bar until close to 4:00 - and i wouldn't have vlogged this, i would have just danced. i got my last shots in around 1:30, on closer inspection. the rain didn't get heavy until nearly 5:00, and i could not have gotten that wet otherwise, so i couldn't have been in the car long, either.

so, the idea that he picked me up makes sense: i was clearly out in the rain right before i woke back up. that means i was near gratiot & chene, no doubt wanting to walk home, some time a little after 5:00 am.

i probably got in the car to escape the rain. not smart, but i was blacked out, and it is at least rational. i can't imagine getting picked up on the street, otherwise - unless i thought i could hitchhike.

yes, i think he thought i was streetwalking.

the part of the night that needs to be reconstructed, then, is going to be from about 3:45-5:15. i left the bar with somebody. i must have taken a car from michigan to gratiot as i couldn't have walked that distance that quickly. then, what?

it seems that two things happened in some unknown order or connection.

1) i seem to have ended up in a park or a field or something. this is actually not particularly bizarre. we used to do campfires in wooded urban spaces during occupy. i've randomly followed hippie kids into the woods to do drugs. i've been to pagan dance parties. sometimes, people just have particularly overgrown backyards. somebody probably offered to smoke me, and i ended up with a group of people in an overgrown space.  raver kids are just like that. it's just the only way that the shoes get like that - they were sitting in wet grass for at least an hour.

2) it remains obvious that i had sex with somebody, at some point.

i was just checking to see where the beaches even are around detroit, and something is coming back to me: the guy in the car said i was "up near chene park." i don't see any beaches right there. there are some on belle isle...

it's beach sand. or at least sandbox sand :o.

you know....the light, grainy stuff. you don't get that from a field or something.

i can't confirm the beach. it may have been a park.

when, after trying all day to shit, you finally get it out and your shit smells like condom lubrication. that's when you know you got fucked hard last night. i know i looked good, but i didn't realize i looked that good. he really smashed me. i really don't remember, but i suspect he will for a while :).

and, that answers that question. i still need to get a blood test. but, that's the actually concerning part about the situation.

maybe i should keep the hair colour?

 :P

so, i'm pretty sure that what happened last night is that i had sex on a beach, due to the amount of sand i brought home with me and the enlarged size of my asshole. and i'm pretty sure it was consensual because my clothes are otherwise not ripped. but i don't have any memory of this at all. and i don't know why i woke up in a stranger's car rather than with the person i had sex with (i don't think they were the same person...)

i mean, i'd kind of like to know who i spent the night with. if they'd like to let me know. maybe see them again, in a state i can remember?

this is a still shot from last night, before i left.

i'm not the type to fuck strangers at all, let alone fuck them and run. the only thing i can seriously think of is that he was leaving immediately in the other direction...

the reason i don't think it was the guy in the car is that he was legitimately surprised by my penis. he could not have just fucked me.

but, i mean....

i'mma stay for breakfast. what you makin'? you know?

the situation is uncharacteristic. all around.

but, there is no question that i was penetrated last night. and rather vigorously, at that.

season 10 v2

i'm not joking. this is what i sobered up to.....

"i got a rubber. i can't believe you got a penis. but i still want to.."

"why am i in your car?"

"you was walking up gratiot..."

"i was on michigan last night."

"you was on gratiot."

"can you get me to the tunnel?"

"i still want to."

"listen, i don't remember getting in your car. i would normally never do that. you have to understand this."

"no, i get it. but i can't believe i still want to, even though i know you got a cock."

"how far are we?"

"it's right there...."

waking up with a bruise on your ass is a little unsettling when you have a black hole of five hours that ends in a stranger's car.

"yo. you have a penis? what the fuck?" <--- you don't want to hear that within minutes after sobering up, either.

i'm walking straight, anyways. it was maybe hard enough to leave a bruise, but not hard enough that i can't walk.

i have no memory of this.

i may have been drugged, actually.

i have no footage. last starlog is my third round of shots, about 1 am.

i don't know how i got in this guy's car, but he wasn't a bad guy. he dropped me at the tunnel, in the end. but, he was really upset that i had a penis :D

i have a black hole.....i was dancing....good time....then i'm in somebody's car. what?

i have never woken up in a stranger's car before. honest.

i'm ok. i'm just flustered. and confused.

he says i was walking up gratiot in the rain. why was i doing that?

i'm home. safe. just confused.