ok, so i've got this broken down into a flow of ideas, even if i can't date it well. i think most of it had to be after august because i remember doing it in the house i moved to in august. anyways...

i've got two incomplete mixes from 2002. neither can be a final mix.

the first one was made in cakewalk. i seem to have then modified the output on it and saved over it, which wouldn't have been an error - it's how i worked. so, i only have that version in mp3. this has been the version i've been uploading to places since 2010, because i wasn't happy with the final one and didn't want to sit down and fix it. i'm going to reconstruct it in cubase - that won't be difficult, as i have all the source files. it's just a question of lining them up and setting the levels. i'll upload a remaster of this because it's the only version anybody's ever heard.

the second mix was supposed to be the completed one and was done in the old cool edit way of pasting files on top of the collage. i didn't have a fast enough computer to keep going in cakewalk. i stayed with this process for years, until i upgraded the old pc in 2007. the problem with this mix is that i put really goofy prog rock guitar and synth parts into it that kind of broke it. i'm going to reconstruct this and upload it, but with the volume on those parts down a little.

before i do these things, i need to check the score. the score as it is is going to come up in soundblaster-rendered midi song form. depending on how much i add, i may do that a second time. a final score version will also go through a vst render process.

when that's all done, i'll need to combine everything together for a final mix.

that sounds like a lot of work but it's really not. christmas at the latest.

uploading guitar demos to inri061

1) this song was first demoed as a rabit is wolf song, but the changes i made to it were not well received. this is as far as the track got in that context. recorded july 14, 2002.

http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/penny-shoeman-initial-demo


2) this is a second guitar demo, expanded to be a little more elaborate in the guitar playing. notating this formed the basis of the electronic version. recorded july 21, 2002.

http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/untitled-expanded-guitar-demo

publishing atom’s / taught to twist the affected so low (inri060)

this is two conceptually linked outtakes from mid 2002 that document an event that i'm going to be vague and obscure about.

written in august, 2002. track one was mildly remixed on dec 12, 2014; two and three were uploaded unmodified. final completion date is dec 12, 2014. as always, please use headphones.

credits:
j - guitar, effects, bass, drum sampling, drum and other programming, digital wave editing, vocals

released august 31, 2002

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/atoms-taught-to-twist-the-affected-so-low



1) i've been very apprehensive about publishing this, but i want to be complete and it was a long time ago.

the summer of 2002 is pretty messy for me. i was very isolated, going through hormone therapy and on the brink of psychological collapse. so, my memory over those months is quite blurry.

for this reason - and others - i'm going to withhold the back story to this track. part of what i'm doing here is writing a biography, and the purpose of that is obviously for readers at some point in the future. that's inevitably going to lead to me framing certain things in a specific and subjective way. as far as this track and these months are concerned, something happened that i'd rather is just simply forgotten. i'd prefer to leave it at that, and for readers and listeners in the future to simply respect that.

to be blunt, it would be difficult to make much sense out of the situation by interpreting these lyrics, anyway. they in no way reflect anything close to an accurate analysis of the situation. it is better to interpret them as rambling lunacy triggered by a schizophrenic episode than to try and make any actual sense out of them as a reaction to something that happened in real life. i was simply not living in the condition of sanity at the time.

i do want to point out that i'm taking some poetic license in the lyrics - you can't really make literal scientific sense of it, so don't try. i was actually more reflecting on my feeling that this science/math education thing wasn't really getting me where i wanted to get to in life. there's a few layers in there, but it's the last line that's the key one.

this was completed in a messy state over a few days in august, 2002. i mildly remixed it to turn the rest of the track up relative to the vocals on dec 12, 2014.

spinning alone
through an empty shell
a sole electron
moves out of it's orbit

the number is zero
this is the covalence
a bond is impossible
while surrounded by neutrons

yet a sole positron floats
in and out of the sphere
the attraction is strong
but it never comes near

the laws now collapse
as the electron moves out
the positron senses
and runs in fear

electrostatics
multiplicity
inverse attraction
the smaller repelled by the larger

physical laws only mean so much
even an electron seeks a positron's touch
the purpose of living is to lose what you crave
bohr, bohr, bohr, BORE spins alone in his grave

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/atoms


2) the effected solo. i thought it was clever at the time.

this was recorded in one take while i was doing guitar parts for the untitled techno tune. my head was blurry and i needed to just stop and jam. i then took the part (which was isolated from a much longer improvisation) and ran it through a series of effects to create this soundscape. dated to august 25, 2002.

http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/taught-to-twist-the-affected-so-low


3) i was doing bass parts on the untitled techno tune when i received the wake-up call...

dated to aug 31, 2002.

http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/wake-up-call