ok, so i should have probably expected that i would have been a little
distracted by the primaries, but this is the end of day three of
aimlessness and i didn't want this at all.
i've moved my laptop
back into my bedroom to re-establish a separation between play and
labour. the dangerously obese, parasitic piece of shit upstairs will not
relent on the air conditioner (which i'm paying for), so the heat is
currently set to 31 degrees celsius - and i'm willing to increase it
further. this has an effect on alertness, but it's better than living in
a fucking fridge.
i still haven't heard back from the mri and it's still eating at me. but i'm at least a little more focused. i think.
i
need to be a little bit more strict with myself because i want to
finish what is in front of me by the end of the week so i can get all
the between-things things done at the end of the month.
Wednesday, July 27, 2016
j reacts to the impossibility of feminine men within hierarchical heteropatriarchy
"so why don't you just be a girly dude."
i just got that one. again. the reason is that you can't actually live that way.
i'll just show up to work in a skirt, right? ok, maybe that's not as out there as it was even a few years ago. here's another example that cuts a lot deeper: women just don't ask guys out.
so, why don't i show initiative? why don't i take control? why don't i be a man about it?.
whatever the answers to those questions, i think it gets the point across: you can't just be a girly dude. i think it's a lot easier to be a masculine female. you may even get a little privilege out of it. but, the premise you're throwing at me just really isn't actually feasible, and i don't think that you need to be queer to be cognizant of it.
do you know what would have actually happened had i shown up to work at microsoft in a skirt?
they'd have sent me to hr, and off to a psychiatric assessment - where i would have been given hormones, and probably the option to go on leave for a few months. i may have even been transferred.
...because it was fucking microsoft.
in canada.
it would have been a little different at a mcdonalds in dallas.
but, you get the point. it's not a real option.
i just got that one. again. the reason is that you can't actually live that way.
i'll just show up to work in a skirt, right? ok, maybe that's not as out there as it was even a few years ago. here's another example that cuts a lot deeper: women just don't ask guys out.
so, why don't i show initiative? why don't i take control? why don't i be a man about it?.
whatever the answers to those questions, i think it gets the point across: you can't just be a girly dude. i think it's a lot easier to be a masculine female. you may even get a little privilege out of it. but, the premise you're throwing at me just really isn't actually feasible, and i don't think that you need to be queer to be cognizant of it.
do you know what would have actually happened had i shown up to work at microsoft in a skirt?
they'd have sent me to hr, and off to a psychiatric assessment - where i would have been given hormones, and probably the option to go on leave for a few months. i may have even been transferred.
...because it was fucking microsoft.
in canada.
it would have been a little different at a mcdonalds in dallas.
but, you get the point. it's not a real option.
i've added a new release type...
format:
single: $5
ep: $7
lp: $10
double ep (split digital/physical): $10
double ep (both physical): $14
double lp: $20
this comes up twice in a row, with inri013 and inri014. on the one hand, i have a physical cd (or official cd-length digital release) that i'd like to publish. inri013 is 70+ minutes over two tracks, whereas inri014 is more typical in being a little less than an hour (still a long single). but, i've also decided to be comprehensive over each release, so i've obligated myself to releasing all relevant outtakes - which is an additional hour for inri013 and a whopping 75 minutes for inri014. in both cases, i could not fit the release & bonus material on a single disc. these are also the first two examples of this happening. so, for example, the release for inri009 is 53 minutes, and with outtakes runs to 67 minutes - less than the length of a physical cd, so theoretically packageable. if i were to in theory package inri013 or inri014 with bonus material, i would need two discs. but, i don't actually want to do that, and i have no plans to ever press the releases that way. so, rather than orphan the material, i'd rather drop it on to these download-only virtual discs.
but, then the problem is that i'm releasing double records for the price of an ep. what i'm trying to be more than anything else with the pricing is consistent. the solution i've come up with is to split the difference..
i'm feeling a little more grounded today, but we'll see how things unfold. i very much hope that i get some response on the mri....
format:
single: $5
ep: $7
lp: $10
double ep (split digital/physical): $10
double ep (both physical): $14
double lp: $20
this comes up twice in a row, with inri013 and inri014. on the one hand, i have a physical cd (or official cd-length digital release) that i'd like to publish. inri013 is 70+ minutes over two tracks, whereas inri014 is more typical in being a little less than an hour (still a long single). but, i've also decided to be comprehensive over each release, so i've obligated myself to releasing all relevant outtakes - which is an additional hour for inri013 and a whopping 75 minutes for inri014. in both cases, i could not fit the release & bonus material on a single disc. these are also the first two examples of this happening. so, for example, the release for inri009 is 53 minutes, and with outtakes runs to 67 minutes - less than the length of a physical cd, so theoretically packageable. if i were to in theory package inri013 or inri014 with bonus material, i would need two discs. but, i don't actually want to do that, and i have no plans to ever press the releases that way. so, rather than orphan the material, i'd rather drop it on to these download-only virtual discs.
but, then the problem is that i'm releasing double records for the price of an ep. what i'm trying to be more than anything else with the pricing is consistent. the solution i've come up with is to split the difference..
i'm feeling a little more grounded today, but we'll see how things unfold. i very much hope that i get some response on the mri....
i think that a big part of the reason that i'm floaty is the mri. it's some kind of repressed anxiety. even when i'm not explicitly thinking about it....
we'll have to see what it says. but, i guess the next thing to check is my jaw, if my ear comes back clean. but, i'm kind of still convinced there's something in there. it sure feels like it...
the other big thing i'm concerned about is if it comes back with lesions. i'm actually becoming more and more convinced that it's lyme disease. i had said i would get that checked last month, but i decided i should wait for the mri, first. short of finding a giant tumour in my eustachian tube, that's almost certainly going to be the next thing i check.
you can imagine it's a little distracting. so, cut me some slack for a few days, here.
we'll have to see what it says. but, i guess the next thing to check is my jaw, if my ear comes back clean. but, i'm kind of still convinced there's something in there. it sure feels like it...
the other big thing i'm concerned about is if it comes back with lesions. i'm actually becoming more and more convinced that it's lyme disease. i had said i would get that checked last month, but i decided i should wait for the mri, first. short of finding a giant tumour in my eustachian tube, that's almost certainly going to be the next thing i check.
you can imagine it's a little distracting. so, cut me some slack for a few days, here.
i've been floating all day. i dunno. i'm chipping away at it, but i'm having a hard time focusing.
i'll at least get inri013 closed tonight. we'll have to see about inri014. a little disappointing. i've been reading, watching youtube, ranting...just not focused...
to clarify...
*13 - epic ep
*14 - schizoid ep single
*15 - lp
*16 - eat my fuck ep
17 - stupid ep single
(skinny puppy tribute)
18 - epic 2 ep
19 - boogeyman ep single
20 - lp2
*21 - inrijected (outtakes) ep
*22 - inimixed (glitch mixes) ep
*23 - inriclaimed (direct from tape over 2015, all instrumental) unofficial lp
*24 - inricited (all vocal ep) ep
25 - too cold single
that closes 1.2, and pushes me back into the 1.3 sequence, which is already done.
* basically done
i'll at least get inri013 closed tonight. we'll have to see about inri014. a little disappointing. i've been reading, watching youtube, ranting...just not focused...
to clarify...
*13 - epic ep
*14 - schizoid ep single
*15 - lp
*16 - eat my fuck ep
17 - stupid ep single
(skinny puppy tribute)
18 - epic 2 ep
19 - boogeyman ep single
20 - lp2
*21 - inrijected (outtakes) ep
*22 - inimixed (glitch mixes) ep
*23 - inriclaimed (direct from tape over 2015, all instrumental) unofficial lp
*24 - inricited (all vocal ep) ep
25 - too cold single
that closes 1.2, and pushes me back into the 1.3 sequence, which is already done.
* basically done
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