in fact, that strat is so heavy that it weighs more than my sg:

like, a lot more.

go back to the previous video, though, and check out gorgeous maple neck. like i say: nobody can figure out where the body came from, although it has a typewritten number on the inside of it, suggesting it's fairly old. like, just the font suggests 60s or 70s. but, it seems like somebody put the coronet neck on it.

one hypothesis is that somebody smashed it and put the coronet neck on to replace it, but that doesn't help us understand where this heavy hh strat came from to begin with.

here's the obese strat:

you could maybe call it an obese strat...

open concept basement bedroom, 1997-1999

- my parents moved across the city in mid-1997, and i lost the soundproof room in the process :(. i lost the drum kit & the tascam in the process, as well. however, i gained a computer with internet access and windows 95 (my previous computer had no internet access, and had windows 3.1. in fact, my first bedroom pc was shipped with ms dos 6.2 and wordperfect, the latter of which was actually reasonable, given that i grew up in ottawa (corel disappeared, but the big adobe building remained a presence in downtown ottawa for years.). i've actually kept up on the old software reasonably well, mostly because i never stopped using most of it: cool edit 96 (https://www.audacityteam.org/), noteworthy composer (https://noteworthycomposer.com/), the windows 95 sound editor, a hacked version of logic that never ran smoothly and a guitar tablature to midi program called "bucket of tab" (https://antisleep.com/bucket) were where i got started on this. but, this pc did not have the resources for even the most basic sound recording.

- i got an ry30 mid summer, to replace the drum kit. my dad was sad; my stepmother wasn't. that ry30 stuck with me until 2003, when i sold it to go to bc. of all the gear that got sold, that's the piece i think i most miss, and i'd love to see a serious attempt to emulate it. i can load samples into battery, but it's missing the point - this was a powerful little drum synth, and i made massive use of it for years, all the way to the end of the rabit is wolf period. that said, the reason i sold it is that i felt i grew out of it, and there kind of wasn't a lot left to do with it. i couldn't justify spending $400 on it given that i can do everything with free plugins nowadays, but i will eventually replace this thing...

if you know where to get an actual vst emulation of the ry30 - not samples of it, but a vsti of the actual machine - let me know.

- a bass reappeared. i don't remember the model. it was green, and played very smoothly, which was necessary because i have freakishly small hands (to this day, i play a mini ibanez bass).

- i actually synced the noteworthy composer sequences with the ry30 parts manually because nobody told me i could sync them automatically. so, it's all very meticulous, but using very simple hardware. i would have had a basic consumer grade soundblaster in this thing, and the initial sequencing is all using general midi. it's for that reason that i went looking for general midi a few years ago and came away with bandstand, by native instruments (a very big company in music creation circles):

https://www.kvraudio.com/product/bandstand-by-native-instruments

bandstand was central to the recordings i did over 2014-2016, because i needed a way to emulate general midi using updated sound fonts. this has been discontinued, and i think it's the last attempt by the industry to save general midi for recording, as it seems that the standard nowadays is to use specific sample libraries rather than a general sound font library (and native instruments suggest the use of kontakt, instead). i think this is unfortunate, myself, as i liked the standardization of being able to take a midi score and plug it into a daw, but the industry doesn't seem to be interested in scored music in much of any abstraction at all anymore and rather more interested in just creating textures out of existing sound. so, the standard nowadays is to sell you this pile of violin scratches, rather than a collection of violins to sequence - and tell you to hire a violinist instead i suppose. but, of course, i still have soundblasters i can track if i need to. i will eventually install kontakt on the 64 bit machine, as the experiments i had with the 32-bit machine were just simply that i needed more ram. but, i actually found that kontakt was unnecessarily inefficient (it loads everything on start-up, even if you're only using a fraction of it) and that the freeware sound libraries actually even sounded better....

i would like to find an update for bandstand, but nobody seems to really want there to be one. this seems to be something people have moved past, and something you're going to need to curate old software for if you want to hang on to.

- the jx-8p & tascam 4-track both show up about this time, with the jx being my only and primary keyboard for years after. this is of course the last version of the roland juno series, and combines analog style juno sounds with more modern digital sounds. the jx has been keyless for years and driven by a dx100, and i've had a midi frontend installed on it for years and never used it, but this is a vsti of it in case i want to sequence it (i could of course sequence it manually, too):

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1qiW5xn7bXM7gK09uhlZhPjC6QVOY2mYL

i should also look into something called "zenology" when i get my windows 7 machine back up and can start looking for evaluation copies.

but, i suspect i'll keep programming it with the little window, as that's what i'm used to doing.

- later programs included hammerhead (a 909 emulator) (http://www.threechords.com/hammerhead/introduction.shtml), sound raider (a noise generator) (https://web.archive.org/web/20060721182502/http://www.andyw.com/zip/raider.zip), goldwave (for extra effects processing) (http://www.goldwave.ca/), granulab (https://www.abc.se/~re/GranuLab/Granny.html), coagula (light-sound synthesis) (https://www.abc.se/~re/Coagula/Coagula.html).

- my aunt sent me back a flute from a trip she took to india that shows up on several tracks

- somewhere along the way, the cassette deck stops working properly, and a song is constructed out of it.

- it was some time in late 1998 that my dad asked me to go to songbird with him to help him pick out a guitar for my sister, who was going through a difficult phase. as mentioned, she had been doing a lot of piano playing since she was very little, and now wanted to play guitar and was threatening to run away from home if she wasn't gifted with an expensive brand name guitar (in fact, i think she was trying to get my dad to buy her boyfriend a guitar, and i don't think that ever clicked). so, my dad got baited into buying her a guitar.....which she didn't accept, because it didn't have a brand name on it. and, it definitely pissed him off, yeah. meanwhile, i continued to play my entry level ibanez, right? it's worth pointing out that my sister was a delusional, spoiled brat at this point, but i really never said anything about it. the guitar i picked out has yet to be properly understood by anybody i've presented it to; it seems to have a coronet "batwing" neck, the dual humbucking pickups seem to have been installed manually and the body, while shaped like a strat and built like a paul, is of unclear origin. so, this is a guitar that somebody seems to have built from parts. the reality is that i picked the guitar out from the store because it played better than any other in the store due to the beautiful neck on it; after my sister rejected it as not sufficient because of the lack of brand name on the headstock, i ran it off to my friend greg's before it could get sent back, where i let it sit until everybody forgot about it. it eventually found it's way back to my studio, and has been my main guitar ever since.

- while i never said anything about it, i get the impression that my dad eventually felt a little bit stupid about asking me to pick out an expensive guitar for my sister (who did not play guitar), while i continued to play a starter ibanez roughly ten years on. i didn't care about the brand name, but that frankenguitar i snagged from songbird had a beautiful neck on it, and i sure appreciated it. nonetheless, he seemed to realize, in hindsight, that it was kind of a shitty deal for me, and went and bought me a red sg, along with an electro-acoustic. the black guitar itself is somewhere in the sg/guild range in terms of weight, in the sense that it's lighter than a paul and heavier than a strat, but i've always treated it like a sort of a fat strat due it's shape and construction. so, in the end, i got three guitars out of my sister's hissy fit and she got zero. all three of the guitars start showing up in recordings over the end of 98 and start of 99.

let's go way back.

1996-1997 basement room

when i was a kid, my dad built a soundproof room in one of the basements of one of the houses he owned. i suppose he intended to use it himself, but he was a 40 year old man with a day job and it just didn't work out that way; i was a 15 year-old kid on summer holidays, so you couldn't pull me out of there. so, my earliest demos were recorded in this little insulated room i was lucky to have. what gear did i have that i could look for?

- i was using an ibanez guitar with a floating bridge. i actually don't regret selling this guitar, as i found the bridge to be annoying and i don't have the attachment to ibanez that a lot of metalheads might.

- i still have my ancient cheri amp

- i still have my zoom 1010 effects pedal, and wouldn't imagine anybody would want to model this. google suggests "no" on first pass. it was a beginner floor guitar effects pedal that...it didn't sound very good, or at least not as a guitar processor. i didn't know any better. it was useful as a noise generating device, even if it wasn't so useful as a guitar pedal. so, there's some great sounding distorted cymbals recorded through it. i would be interested in finding an emulator for the reason that it's so overwhelmingly noisy that it's almost useless in scenarios where it would be great if it wasn't. in later years, i've put the jx-8p through it and that's all i'd ever use it for nowadays. but, all my guitar parts used this thing, for years.

- my dad's friend larry left a broken mxr phase 90 (script logo.) down there that i still have. it still works, if you pay close attention to the pot on the inside, and i used it quite a bit. he just never retrieved it. hey larry, do you want your mxr back? he was a van halen fan; i was a corgan fan, and even at that age i understood the influence and the value of it. this is a classic pedal - it's both in the pod and in guitar rig - but i wonder if there's a standalone....

there's one attempt here:

http://antti.smartelectronix.com/

...but nothing official, i don't think. if i was mxr, i would have this, for sure.

- there was a bass down there to start (i don't remember the model), and then there wasn't, so i bought a boss oc-2 to try to create bass parts out of my guitar, and it didn't work out that well. i ended up using it mostly for keyboard parts, but i sold it without getting too much out of it.

this is an emulation:

https://www.kvraudio.com/product/octaver-oc-d2-by-chris-hooker/downloads

- my sister, who was a serious pianist at a young age, had an electric piano with some organ sounds and stuff. she was strangely propertarian about the item, and repeatedly refused to allow me to record in her space. so, i had to sneak into her room when she wasn't around. i eventually got the jx-8p...and she eventually got a grand piano parked in the living room, that was great to record on when nobody was home. i don't remember the model.

- her metronome is also heard a few times

- there was a peavey bass amp down there that i held on to for years and think my sister ended up with, in the end. i can get all manners of peavey emulation from the pod or from guitar rig, even if i actually prefer the sound of roland or vox amps.

- there was a drum kit down there; don't ask me about the details. again: i never saw him actually play it. in hindsight, maybe that was intentional.

- larry also left his tascam down there, and he did pick that up, along with an acoustic guitar that belonged to him.

- there was a graphic equalizer hooked up to a luxman receiver

- i never mic anything any more, but the mics i was using were dixon md-1178s, and i actually still have both of them. i have some mic emulation software, but this is something i pay very little attention to because i line almost everything in through the pod or the alesis (including the electronic drum kit), and almost all of my music is instrumental. i later picked up a very old altec 683 b, and it's the mic i use when i need one (and the mic sean used to record everything, as well).

- ....and my sennheiser 440-IIs, which i still have, were what i listened to everything through.

i think we'll be installing this, as well:

https://github.com/datajake1999/EAXReverb_VST/releases

if that plugin works well in cubase, it could get a lot of use, especially on the lost symphony, as it would have been fundamental, if i had actually recorded it at the time.

if you're curious, this is how i tend to work - i go looking for what i need when it comes up, i don't tend to just download things and experiment with them when they're brand new.

but, i wonder if i should actually even go out and find all of the old gear that i've lost in plugin form. how possible is that? what is really missing, actually?

this soundcard is actually an older model than i thought it was.

https://ia803403.us.archive.org/6/items/manualzz-id-965080/965080.pdf

it's at least designed for nt, so maybe the software might work, if i get the right peripheral for it.

but, it also has a firewire, so i wonder if i could drive it from the alesis....

right now, i just want to get drivers and script them.

the key shift in approach should be this:

it may be true that 24 bit is technically superior to 16 bit, but, in the end, it's, just, like, your opinion, as to which sounds better.

don't believe me? go ask that kid with a record player.

so, i want to mix towards an output, not just get superior quality for the fuck of it.

but, i need to understand what people are actually listening to, and the answer appears to be the following: spotify is currently upgrading from streaming lossy mp3 to cd-quality audio. and, youtube seems to be pushing downsampling. so, for right now, 16-bit seems like the way to go, still.

my previous build of the 32-bit xp machine had the soundblaster live drivers built into the os install. since putting the live back in the 98 machine (which i'm calling 16-bit but is actually also 32-bit) where it came from, i've put the audiigy that my sister's first husband gave me (he decided to be a douche bag mac user around '05ish, so he didn't want it) in the 32-bit machine to replace it. it also has what was the last line of m-audio delta series pci cards in it, which i got for very cheap at the end of it's lifecycle explicitly because it has an actual rca out on it, and the dac is dealt with right away kind of thing - it's about minimal amounts of conversion, although i later found out that the windows kmixer sort of ruins it and i have to connect via asio to make sense of that. and, i'm connecting an alesis 16-track mixer as a recording interface via firewire, as well as a pod xt via usb for direct guitar ins. old gear - like i said. and, none of this is going anywhere any time soon....

anyways, i didn't need to script up a driver install for the live because the drivers came with the os and the software didn't work on xp anyways, but i'm going to need to script something up for the audigy. i'm currently searching for an install cd, and will probably hold off on anything complicated until i can get one of those interfaces like i have in the other machine. the major reason i'm going to use this device is to make use of the dsp in it, which is intended for gaming and is consequently a little thicker than you'd get out of most normal audio-focused applications. a large percentage of the weird guitar and drum reverb i used from about 1999-2004 was actually using that eax as a pre-amp; i lost it when i upgraded to xp in 2004 and put it aside when i couldn't get it to work when i built the 32-bit machine in 2007.

but, i'm sorting through articles to try to find exactly what i'm looking for, and the obvious question presents itself - is it time to move to 24 bits?

wait. i'm recording at 16 bits? what? well...

see, this is my actual logic, here - the machine i did everything on until my system collapse was built to use 32-bit software, and almost all of the plugin software (like guitar rig) is written for 16-bit audio manipulation. so, what happens when you send 24 bit audio into software written for 16-bit audio? if it's well written software, it should actually stop you from actually doing it and tell you to downsample the audio or buy a new plugin. but, what most plugins are going to actually do is simply truncate the file and then spit it out with a bunch of zeros, meaning you end up downsampling your 24 bit recording to 16 bit by accident as you process it. and, you probably will not be able to tell the difference, as you're doing it.

on top of that, you downsample in the end anyways, right? see, that's the assumption. is it true? for now, let's assume it is. now, some people will tell you that you want the extra space for the calculations, if your software allows for it. ok. but, that's the rare scenario where you probably can tell the difference between 16 and 24 bit - when you've run the project through a thick reverb and filled all that space up with data. and, then what happens when you mix it down?

the answer is that you just delete it - and you've wasted your time getting something to sound great as a 24-bit sound file, only to have it sound entirely different as a 16-bit product. and, are you going to even notice, are you going to listen to a 16-bit file through your shmancy sound system? nooooo. 

oops.

so, i developed a policy of sticking to recording to the output quality. that is, i decided that if people are going to listen to the end result on 16-bit playback devices (or, god forbid, fucking speakerphones) then i'm going to mix them at 16-bits. logical, right?

but, how true is that, still? i mean, nowadays nobody listens to anything on cds - what they actually do is stream it, probably. and, are they therefore able to stream it at 24-bits? i mean, their hardware can probably do it.

the 32-bit machine that i'm reinstalling this morning will remain 32 bits and geared towards 16 bit recording. that's not going to change.

but, as i get around to building that 64-bit machine and wondering how i'll be recording into it, the question i'm actually going to ask isn't about maximizing recording quality so much as it's about trying to understand actual listening habits. i know that i still listen to everything in 16-bit. am i out of touch on this? if i am, and people are listening to 24-bit flacs on their phones, then i should adjust to mixing final outputs in a way that conforms to how they're actually going to listen to them.

if i mix everything in 24-bit and the world listens to it in downsampled 16-bit, i'm just deluding myself through the process - all of that effort exists strictly in a parallel reality that nobody actually inhabits. however, if i mix everything in 16-bit and the world upsamples it to 24-bit to listen to it, i'm missing out on an opportunity to expand the quality of the mix.

all the technicalities and specs are fun to analyze, but it's the user experience that i'm really concerned about.

ok, so that was a wasteful few days due to needing to undo the cops breaking my computer (yet again.), but i have my machine coming back up now. i was in fact able to isolate a crc error on the dvd; the reburn is booting from the dvd, as intended.

but, listen, you fucking idiot thugs...

the chromebook is the only machine i use to post to the internet and, so long as this continues, that is not going to change. the 90s laptop is being used strictly as a phone, right now, but will eventually also be used as a tv. and, the recording machine is kept off the network and used strictly to record and compose music on.

the computer you want to hack for kremlin codes is the chromebook. please leave my recording pc alone.

is that simple enough for you to understand?

yeah, the disc seems to have some problems, for sure. i mean, it reads some of the time, but sometimes it doesn't...

so, i was having difficulty booting the install media from the dvd drive and i had to figure that out because that's how this sits - i just leave the install media in the bottom drive and let it sit there, so i know what the most recent version is, and i have it available in case i need it.

but, as i was doing some troubleshooting, i started to suspect that it's the media itself that's corrupt. thankfully, i do in fact have a backup. of course. so, i'm going to try to reburn that and try again.

to be clear: i could install it from the blu-ray drive, but i don't want to do that, i want to install it from the dvd drive. and, the dvd drive seems to let other media boot, so it kind of has to be the actual disk itself. i think....

so, i was sleepy when i got in, which isn't that bizarre, as i had been sleeping afternoons for the last few days. i wanted to shower, eat and take a nap, but i had to shower and then nap, instead. so, then i got up to eat and napped some more. i took some iron and napped some more...

i guess i got about ten hours of sleep overall, but i suspect that's two days worth. i actually like naps rather than long sleeps in the summer, and i'd rather sleep in the day if the air conditioning  is on (as opposed to having to suffer through it). i absolutely despise air conditioning and want it off altogether, but it is currently on, despite the fact that i asked him to turn it off when he left. so, when you have the air on, it's actually warmer at night - and it's more enjoyable to sleep during the day, to avoid the a/c. but, now i'm awake, so i'm going to need to run the stove to warm the place up, instead. i'll have to try to cycle that over in the next few days, to get back to sleeping during the air conditioning and being awake when it's off.

as it is, i've been up since around 6:00 and have been trying to shift over to do some cleaning but have been stuck dealing with the recording pc, instead.

i guess the cops upstairs realized i was using the recording pc this week, and decided they therefore had to break it. i have no idea what they're looking for, but they seem to think i'm hiding some kind of data somewhere. whatever they did, they seem to have shorted the ram, and they seem to have broken the boot loader - which is something similar to what they kept doing to my windows 7 machine. the difference is that i've very purposefully kept the recording machine off the network for more or less this exact reason, and i guess it doesn't seem to matter - they'll just break into your house and break it when you\re gone.

so, i cleared the cmos and...i was in the process of reinstalling to the drive anyways, so i'm currently putting a temp install in.

this machine does not have a wireless card in it, and i don't want to connect it to any outside network ever at all. in the lalala world that the cops live in, that means i must be hiding secret codes from the kremlin on it, so they need to hack it and take it down.

i don't know how i got into this surreal, absurd mess, but they don't seem to be operating on evidence, and it seems that my only choice is to try to ignore them. 

so, that's my night (eating and sleeping) and my morning (reinstalling). i need to call the doctor soon, eat again and then get to getting on with it.

overall, this weekend really got away from me. whoever it actually is that is upstairs is acting like a child in their habits, whether they actually are one or not, so i've been forced to clean up after them every few hours - but it doesn't stay clean. so, i have to do it again...

they've very badly triggered my asthma, which is giving me heart palpitations and forcing me to sleep more than i normally would, as well. and, again, i feel like i'm being drugged, but i can't figure out the source of it to end it.

and, yes i know they're up there - i can hear them, i can smell them. it's obvious.

so, i've just been getting up, cleaning, eating, cleaning, sitting down to do something, having to get up to clean again, getting the smallest amount done, having to clean again, etc.

ultimately, no - it shouldn't take me 6-7 hours to prepare a meal and eat it, but that's life dealing with the effects of second-hand smoke by selfish, worthless neighbours - or their worthless children, as it may be.

i was going to go over the sealing i did with an exacto knife (it's a horrible mess, i'm not very good at stuff like that) tonight, but i realized pretty quickly that that's just going to undo it. and, ultimately, who cares? so, i did a second coat over a few spots, and i'm just going to scrub the floor for now, instead. i also want to put something over the space and see if it's comparably better and, looking into it, the best thing to use is probably a dollar store tarp. so, i'll need to go grab one of those as well, the next time i'm out.

but, i think the worst part of it was the bacteria and/or fungi coming in from the cracks, and i hope that sealing them resolves the primary problem.

i'm otherwise in need of doing that clean on the other side of the apartment that i keep putting off...

let me clear about this, though - don't connect your xp machine to the internet. ever.

at this point, i only have one controller with internet access that i take files off and with an external drive, and keep everything else off the intranet.

that's the one issue, but you don't want your recording machine online, anyways.

i will do things with 20 year-old gear that you will take 20 years to understand.

yes, i'm using cubase.

sx. 3.

on xp.

hey, it works; the only issue i've ever had with it is overloading due to the 4 gb ram limit in the 32 bit os. the new sample libraries simply need more ram. but, it's going to be matlab that is going to pull me in to the 64 bit os recording world, finally. it was actually matlab that forced me to upgrade from 98 to xp around 2005 - and while i've upgraded my hardware, i've stuck with 32-bit xp ever since.

i'm ultimately the type that likes a stable, steady daw over the newest bells and whistles. from the time i got my jx/ry30 combo in the late 90s (which would have been cutting edge ten years earlier, but was just high quality last gen by the time i snagged it), i've always been about making the most of the previous generation of gear - and you'll note that i tend to actually use the features in my gear, rather than just upgrade it every six weeks to look cool.

if you're getting good equipment, it should last twenty years before you exhaust it, by which time you have another generation of supposedly last-gen gear to actually understand and make actual use of.

i'd rather listen to a talented programmer on a 20 year old tower that really knows how to use the gear because they've spent the time with it than some talentlesss rich kid fucking around with the shiniest, newest toys.

so, i'll stick with sx 3 for now, thanks.

but it's almost time to upgrade to a system that would have been cutting edge around 2015 or so.

inri077

so, i actually ended up spending the morning digitizing the last old cassette i have so that i can put it away, along with this old portastudio i recorded it on, via the same alesis over asio connection i was using previously. i'll reinstall this afternoon. and, i've even uploaded it as a temp mix to the cassette demo ep, which is not closed but i think is now constructed.

i vaguely recall recording this in sarah's apartment as a starting point one night when she was out, and it's really the only way to make sense of it existing at all. i ended up living in sarah's space (which she shared with a friend named heather) for a few weeks because my retarded step-mother tossed me out of the house for correctly calling her delusional - because she was - and refusing to apologize - because it was true. you can claim that was foolish, but where do i get by denying the actual truth? she made an absurd accusation that can only be described by her deluding herself about reality. apologizing for pointing that out would be equivalent to also denying reality and being equally delusional. like, it wasn't an insult, it was a statement of fact! so, if i were to apologize for stating the truth, it would be equivalent to accepting her delusions as true, which would be a denial of reality, and for what? i can't sacrifice truth like that. i can't walk down this dystopic path. so, if you want to accuse me of foolishness, let's at least be accurate about it - the foolishness is actually rooted in an inability to interface with nonsense. this wasn't about my ego, it was about refusing to walk into a dystopia and refusing to separate myself from reality in the process. i'd read too much orwell, i just couldn't handle it. and i knew that the next step would be even worse - that accepting one nonsense as truth would merely lay a basis for accepting more nonsense as truth. it was a shitty outcome, no doubt, but i had to stick to the facts, here - i had to hold to my principles.

truth > family. you have to protect your brain, you have to protect your sanity, or you'll end up as fucked up as everybody else, in the end.

so, i ended up without anywhere to sleep - something i'd never dealt with before (except on the trip to bc i'd just come back from) and wasn't actually taking seriously. in addition to learning that my stepmother was retarded, i learned a little bit about how to fend for myself. but, in the end, i decided i'd rather stay with sarah for a bit, anyways. 

but, i lost access to my computer and recording interface...

as such, i called up my friend greg, who had been using the tascam. i mean, i didn't need it - i had the soundblaster live interface. but, now i did. proto-anarchist jessica knew how to distribute property efficiently. the only reasonable timeframe when i would have made this recording is therefore when i was staying with sarah, after i picked up the item from greg (who got a little bit annoyed about it) - which would have been the fall of 2003.

in the end, i just forgot about this recording, and am kind of wondering where the tape with "like divine amoebas" went, as i have more developed memories around recording that track than this one. i mean, this doesn't actually go anywhere just quite yet, even if the dual guitars are kind of harmonically interesting as intertwined sections. that said, this is my next major recording project, as well, and it will form the missing piece of my 8th record (a massive 2xlp set of lengthy pieces, all four of them labeled as symphonies) when it's done.

i will probably do something further with this exact recording, though, as i finally work out the lost symphony. as it is, as rough and unfinished as it is, it's easy enough to extrapolate my mindset at the time, in this kind of dour gira-influenced dirge through this dissonant harmonic cycle of down strokes.

if this is from late 2003 as it must be then it is by far the earliest recording of it that i have. i tried to record it in late 2004 and over 2005, but got distracted and ended up writing xenophanes, instead. so, this comes in last in the sequence of four intertwined symphonic works, but it was actually meant to be the third piece, before xenophanes interjected itself in between. and, that's why it got lost - i pivoted out of the trivial group before i finished it, as i so often did back then. and so often do still now....

are there further demos? well, i can't answer that question thoroughly until i'm sure what happened to the other tape. i digitized it in early 2004, so i haven't lost anything in being unable to locate it. but, i'm sort of sure that it was actually around, too.

for now, these are the only two tracks i have from that brief phase, both demoes of songs that would be completed later and elsewhere, and this is the document i can construct.

by my count, this should end up as inri077 and is essentially now done - along with inri075, inri078, inri079, inri080, inri081, inri082, inri084 and inri085. it is inri076 that will need the attention and could take me most of the summer to complete. and, that will take me up to the summer of 2004. inri083 (impressionist jazz punk, first take) and inri086 (cycles per second lp) will then require some thought as to how to approach.

new upload:


full ep, so far:

this is going to be a temp install because i'm still testing the ram - which seems to be fine, so far. i think the board was just dusty...

alright, so i got through one stack of cds and all of the cassettes, save one, and i'm deciding to go ahead and reinstall rather than continue filing because i have to to archive the cassette. there have been some minor hardware changes that will require updating the script, but i guess i'll have to just deal with it.

this machine has been in a broken state for years, as i spent a very long time troubleshooting what i decided in the end was an environmental signals problem. so, i ripped everything to do with the windows xp subsystem out and just finished the last mixes i was dealing with over asio drivers. and want to put it back, now.

i simply don't know what the signals are like down here, and am long overdue to find out.

the install is automated but it's lengthy so that's likely the morning.

hey, we spent some time a little earlier setting up my maxxed out windows 98 pc, on a psb-f from 1998 that  i got for christmas in 1999. i've had to swap out everything except the board, power supply and case, but it still runs.

i have a 64-bit pc in a box that i haven't built yet and really need to soon....

...but, i fully expect that this 32-bit machine will last another 10 years, at least.

so, i'm pretty sure about the known good gb of ram in the suspected bad slot - that's been stable.

i'm going to try a second gb of suspected good ram in parallel, to close off the first two slots.

this board can take 8 gb of ram, but it's running a 32-bit os (and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future), so i put 4x1 gb sticks of gold-plated ocz in there, but i built it in 2007, so it's getting a little bit old.

i've had to rescue it several times, and i've put a bd-r in it and swapped a few things around, but i've only ever had to replace one of the four hard drives in the machine over the last fourteen years. that's it. so, let's hope the ram is fine, after all.

i tend to like the stuff that's less pompous, and more focused on songwriting, in whatever abstraction - or more psychedelic. so, i like genesis, crimson, floyd - although i actually prefer oldfield, or tangerine dream, to the bulk of it.

i tend not to like the geekier or more randian stuff, like rush or elp or zeppelin.

and, when you bring the macho poseurism or show-offism that is more indicative of metal than prog in, i just tune out altogether. so, i just can't get into stuff like dream theatre or slayer for that reason, although the major problem with later dream theatre is less that it's too metal and more that the singer just ruins it. there's a short time window of dream theatre stuff that i've found instrumental japanese imports of, that i can actually get into.

so, i made fun of him for listening to hair metal, too. i didn't just take that shit.

i think i got him a little into tortoise, which is the kind of thing he ought to have liked, although he seemed to prefer mcentire's work with the sea and cake, and i know he enjoyed tool when given the opportunity to, as well.

but, i never saw him play. not even once. rather, it was myself that ended up playing these kits that were always sitting around...

where did i learn about sound recording?

i have taken a handful of courses both in high school and at carleton, but i don't think it helped much, and both were after i'd been recording for years. the actual truth is that my dad was a useful resource, here.

i actually wish he'd have written some kind of biography, so i could order his own life a little better; i wasn't born yet when he was in his early 20s, and he seemed to view that period of his life as something to take a bit of a step away from. but, what i was able to piece together is that he spent some time in the late 70s as a drummer and sound engineer, mostly dealing with local metal bands in and around ottawa.

now, he was a prog guy - his drum heroes were like terry bozio, bill bruford, phil collins, neil peart, that kind of thing. he was a big mike portnoy fan later in life. and, he had this kind of zappaesque disdain for punk rock as overly simplistic, although i think i was able to help him understand a little later on that the point of punk was political rather than musical. it was actually on his suggestion that i check out the dead kennedys, after i brought home a new offspring record, at the age of 13 - although he then made fun of me for listening to it.

i think this fundamentally warped his concept of punk rock for life:

...and he would constantly reference it in making fun of me for recording by myself, something that shows up here and there, tongue-in-cheek, if you look for it.

but, he wasn't exactly an expert or a working musician, either - he often insisted on owning a drum kit, but i never saw him actually play it, so i can't offer any kind of informed opinion about what he could actually do on it. i saw him noodle around on a bass a few times, and it was clear to me (as a seasoned guitarist, even at age 15) that he had no idea what he was doing. but, he fancied himself a drummer in his mind, anyways - and those were the musicians he followed, drummers in prog bands. 

but, it was enough to get me started, and that's really the most important thing, right? my concepts about microphones, about room acoustics, about equalization, about recording gear and even about guitar effects are rooted primarily in questions i asked in my mid to early teens, and while i know today that he was actually even flat out wrong about a number of things, that starting point was really invaluable.

......but, only up to a point.

i'm not a digital native, but i'm the very last gen xer and i had a computer with (dial-up) internet access in my bedroom before i turned 17. so, i'm not a digital native, i had a learning curve, but i'm just about at the end of the cusp of it - there are no doubt even people my age that would consider themselves digital natives. so, i was able to take these basic things i learned from my dad, and this glossary of language i understood, and just yahoo search it. this was before google, actually.

i toyed with going to school to be a sound engineer, and in hindsight i sort of wish i did, but my dad's apprehension about that period in his own life meant he wasn't going to pay for it, and the student loan system in ontario wouldn't cover it. these were expensive programs, too - $10,000/yr on base tuition, compared to around $1,500/yr at the local university (this was still the late 90s). so, i ended up stumbling through a math degree, instead, just due to the realities around me...

i don't think i'd have ended up working in a studio, though. i fundamentally can't deal with other people, and it sort of doesn't matter what my education is or might have been - i would have run up against this same brick wall of social awkwardness, regardless. it took me a long time to kind of figure that out. i would have enjoyed it a lot more, though, and i would have no doubt walked down a very different path and had a very different journey, even if i ended up in the same place, in the end. and, we're all dead, in the long run.

but, as a path, that's not something that was available to me, due to finances and the sort of societal perspective that it's not a vocation of much actual value. i was born poor and raised poor and found myself middle class due to marriages in my middle to late teens; regardless of where i started, the government will send poor kids to school to be doctors or lawyers or professors, but they won't send them to school to be sound engineers. you need substantive capital to invest up front if you really want to do that, and it just wasn't available to me.

so, i often sound like i have a fancy sound design degree, but i actually don't - what i actually have is a math degree, although i studied physics for a while, i took a handful of sound design courses and i went deep into the computer science and law programs, too. it's more that i grew up around gear, and learned about it by actually using it, and by asking functional questions, as a child does, to my dad, who owned the bulk of it.

alright, so we've got up until the end of july done, now. i need to eat.

this is intended to be a dirty run through, remember.

unfortunately, i can't read this external drive in xp and the chromebook can't read the codecs used by the camera. so, i can either copy the data from the external to a usb key and put it on the xp machine, or i can just upload it to youtube.

i need to reimage my busted up windows 7 laptop before i can even consider repurposing it. so, i'm just uploading it as a playlist to youtube..

and, i can start setting up the production machine for typing, while i'm waiting.

regarding the ram/board issue on the 32-bit system...

i took a known good stick and tried it in all four slots, and there was one that took a few tries, which isn't entirely unusual with old boards - they even just get dusty, sometimes. so, i'm going to try to leave it on with just the known good in the dusty slot and see if it halts or not.

these asus boards don't die (i have one from 1998 and one from 2006 that are both still running, and a third in a box from 2016), but they do get dusty and need to be reseated. let's hope it's that easy.

and, i'm going to have to start typing on the production machine, instead.

so, my 32-bit recording pc (which i'm still filing, periodically) has developed some kind of ram and/or board issue that i'm also troubleshooting this week. it just freezes randomly.

these asus boards just don't die, so it has to be the ram, or something else plugged into it.

i've unplugged some of the front panel connectors and, now, it seems to be stable with one stick of ram, so i'm going to rotate a different stick into the slot i took out and try it from there...