19-06-2016: information overload

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-cassette-demo-1
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

i just got through the first listen: mp3 player & new sennheisers.

there's some parts of this record/demo that i just can't stomach, but i know that they're actually some of the most powerful parts. in hindsight, i can see that this demo exists in a really rare space. if it finds the right audience, it could end up deeply seminal; even as it foreshadows a strain of emo that i never found myself interested in, it takes it to a level that never really existed. it's more like some kind of zappaesque take on early swans - really brutal in a way, but kind of a joke at the same time. i kind of feel like i accidentally invented hipster culture, out of no intent at all.

in fact, i was just a kid, and i was doing what kids do: i was emulating what i heard. my favourite bands. kids at school. even my parents. there are moments of utter originality, in fact total idiosyncrasy - you can hear it's me, if you know my work. but, there are also moments of total copyright infringement.

a part of me would love to put this up as a cassette for sale, but i just don't think it would be legal. downloads still have magic to me. they're still not quite real. i bet younger people don't see it that way, but that separation is the only thing i have to justify selling it at all.

i may crack one day. but, how does it sound?

the device isn't sending the signal out at a high enough volume for the phones, but that's something i'm already aware of. i need a pair of lower impedance phones for the device. it also sounds a little compressed - but it is a little compressed (320 kbps mp3). the bass sounds excellent, but these are also bass heavy phones. which is to say that it sounds how i would and should have expected it to sound through that setup.

i didn't fall asleep, but it was only because i was hungry. i'm going to finish my leftovers and then get some rest. i'm yawning. it should be some real sleep.

i'm going to want to try it uncompressed through the laptop when i wake up. i need to be clear: the demos cannot and will not be altered. these are finalized. the source is what it is. i'm more setting a base line and getting my ears retrained.

so, i won't be able to permanently close anything until the twenty-year anniversary of it. which, i actually kind of like.

so, if i date my first record to june, 1998 then i can permanently close it in june, 2018.

that means this demo won't permanently close until christmas. but, that i can musically finalize it today or tomorrow.

new algorithms are always tricky at first, but they clarify themselves. right now, i just need to it and listen for an hour or two.

i've kind of lost track of time. i wanted to get some listening done last night, but i napped a few times; now, i feel like i should be tired, but i'm not. i thought my mp3 player was charged, but it isn't - or maybe it was, but it lost charge to the air. it's charging.

i can't shake the feeling that i'm going to fall asleep as soon as i put the phones on, but it's what i need to be doing next. in the meantime, vlogs are uploading.

the information overload is still dramatic. i want to push through and close all these releases, but i can't find the way to do it that makes the most sense. i'm going to have to turn my pc back on tonight, once the temperature comes down a little outside and i can turn the heat off because the air conditioner upstairs turns down. then, the pc will start to throw off heat on it's own. i'm stuck in a strange reality where the hotter it is outside, the higher i have to turn up the heat to fight the a/c. i don't know what he did up there over the winter, but it's pulling air out of here a lot more violently than last year. did he remove a part of the floor? put in a heat pump? i can hear something churning up there, but i don't know exactly what it is. whatever he did wasn't thought through well. to begin with, it was done in absolute contempt for my own desires - he's obviously trying to alter the temperature down here. there was no consultation. the reality is that i have the legal right to demand that he turn the air down, but i'd rather do this by hitting his pocket book. in the end, he's going to have to pay for it through a ridiculous hydro bill. i'm still hoping to ultimately outlast him and nailing him on the hydro actually might drive him out. i mean, if i force him to turn the air down, he's still up there until he keels over; if i fuck him over on the utility bill, he may have to move out before then. i think it's the only real way to resolve this.

but, with the writing, i kind of feel like i'm reaching for a switch in the dark sort of thing. for example: this post, here, on this page, will eventually find itself into the liner notes for inri000. and, you know what? in typing that statement, i think i've finally convinced myself that i have no choice but to wait until i close the period. even ignoring the alter-reality, this can't make sense, otherwise.

my work flow needs to be something like this:

1) republish all the music in the releases from 1996-2000.
2) reorganize all the source files & rebuild the aleph-disc.
3) then reconstruct all the liner notes from the aleph-disc, and put them into the source disk.

the mp3 player is charged. here i go....

so, here's a strange twist.

i walked down this path that's kept me a year behind because i wanted to finish the aleph-0 disc. now, because i'm narrating the alter-reality, i can't actually finish it.

i've made the decision to wait and ship the aleph discs along with the alter-reality. that means that aleph-0 will not be available until 2020, aleph-1 until 2021, & etc.

i'm going to build the discs in the mean time, and i may even end up changing my mind. but, i don't like the idea of constantly adding data to the disc if it's for sale. i want to close it before i offer it.

who buys physical media nowadays, anyways, right? it's more of an archival thing.

so, for now, there will not be aleph discs for sale for the near future.

well....actually, i'll have mp3 and flac discs. i just won't have period discs. those will be staggered.

yeah. ok.

so, i got the first demo reposted to facebook. now, i'm going to need to

1) get all of the data mirrored in the word document.
2) listen to it on every device i have at least once to make sure it's final (the cassette demos are basically inalterable, but still...)

once that's done, i can close the demo.

this may be overkill for the first two demos, as there's essentially no chance i'm going to alter them. however, i want to get the process of rebuilding my machine back in order, which means turning it on.

i had so much order up until about a year ago when everything fell apart. i can rebuild this. it's just going to take me some time.

information overload....

what i'm feeling right now is just total information overload, so i just need to take a step back and work through everything slowly.

task one needs to be to republish period 1 over bandcamp, and then rebuild the aleph-0 disc once it's done.