i slept in, so i'm certainly 100% staying in. if i was out anyways, i could talk myself into dealing with the cold for an overnight binge. but, it would be stupid of me to wander into the cold with intent, with a bicycle or not.

i have a gut feeling that the set was lacklustre, or at least was relative to my own tastes. as mentioned: i'm rather fond of their work with son lux, but i don't have any interest in 00s indie rock, more generally. if i was the person everybody wanted me to be, i'd care about sufjan stevens or the dirty projectors; the fact is that i don't, and never did, and that it was really never likely that i was ever going to.

the piece that lott wrote for them sounds commissioned, and i've always had such a problem with that - because it's always so obvious. you can't write good music in exchange for money; it has to come from somewhere, it's not just a market operation. it sounds uninspired; kind of flat - disappointing, given how emotionally engaging lott's work usually is. this is somebody that has a talent for being compelling. you could argue he has charisma, or something. so, how did the work end up so dry?

you put a price tag on it, that's how. you had to work around complicated schedules. you gave it time lines. you set goals. all of these things can only ruin art.

at some point, it became a product - and art cannot be commodified and remain art.

which is not to say that i don't hope that other people enjoyed it, so much as to say that i don't think i would have, and that this is much, much further from where i exist than perhaps would like to be imagined.

i took one of those 7/11 caffeine boosts this morning, and i'm still wired; impressive given that i had several drinks last night [2 jagers, 1 mikes & 2 strong beers]. i should be tired, but i'm wide awake...

i braved the cold last night, but the truth is that what i did was stupid. i was in some serious danger of hypothermia, and probably only staved it off because i'm in such ridiculously good health. i don't want to do that again tonight.

my bicycle is still where i left it, but the lock is frozen. this is actually a big deal, because having a bicycle would solve most of these problems. then again, i could also take my canada bike with me...hrmnnn...

i'll need to get some sleep, first.

in the time i've been in detroit, i have a total of one blackout, in the fall of 2016.

that was the night i woke up in some dude's car. some dude that thought i was cis and was trying to fuck me.

i have a complete recollection of all other nights.

honest.

really.

no, seriously - i do. i know i look messy sometimes, but i'm almost always in control of myself.

no, wait.

i have been there in my conscious existence.

twice.

i didn't pass out either time, though.

wait.

i think i know where i was that night, now.

"didn't i see you passed out at..."

like i could answer that. like i could remember where i was passed out at.

but, i've never been to this place in my conscious existence. and the one night i blacked out, and woke up in some dude's car, was the night i was supposedly in that neighbourhood.

*shrug*.

well, i guess i went out after all, huh?

the magic stick was bopping. nice to see.

but i should have asked around about after parties instead of making assumptions. it seems like people wanted to even bring me there, as they noticed me and asked me about it, but i took off right away in an attempt to get to one asap. big mistake - the place i went to was empty, and i ended up back at the diner.

i had fun at the show. and i needed that, too.