record runner valued customer card

i also found a debit card for steves that has roughly $50 on it, iirc.

remastered inri000 re-release completed

these are the first demos i recorded, written 1994-1996 and recorded in the second half of 1996. this corresponds to the end of my 15th year and the beginning of my grade 10 school year. on the one hand, it's an intriguing document of a socially maladjusted teenage punk. on the other hand, it's a 15 year-old kid learning how to use a recording studio (and how to play the drums). influences are displayed on my sleeve just a little too loudly at times.

i was attempting to create something that could be described by the words disturbing, schizophrenic, unique, bizarre, twisted. looking back, i think i succeeded more than i realized at the time. this is a difficult listen that would be appealing to fans of very early nirvana, very early sonic youth and soundtrack-era swans, as well as fans of the more difficult passages present in mid-90s nine inch nails. i manage to maintain a strange sense of melody, though. in truth, my current adult self is somewhat impressed with my teenaged self at this current point.

that being said, it should not be forgotten that i was fifteen. i am at times rather crude, and i display a childlike understanding of certain issues. most poetry written at the age of fifteen is not particularly insightful. again, though, i surprise myself at points.

this is the first time i'm publishing these demos in any form. i've remained frighteningly self-conscious of them over the years. over the last seventeen years, the audience has been limited to a single friend, an aunt, a sister and an ex-girlfriend. initial reactions suggested i take some time to perfect my performance skills, particularly my drumming skills. however, this indicated a lack of understanding of my intent in the overall sound. the playing is quite purposefully abstract with the aim of exploring mental illness.

the demos were initially dub-mastered onto a 110 minute tape that would have flipped after the eighth track. that tape was at some point recorded into a soundblaster and compressed very heavily; this is the only source of the material that i still have. so, i had to decompress the files from those 128 (or worse) kbps mp3s and run them through some digital mastering equipment in an attempt to "undo" the compression. what that is is a half-effective trick to recover data that is in actuality forever lost. nonetheless, i should point out that while these files were recorded entirely in 1996, they were substantially digitally modified in late 2013. as always, please use headphones.

credits:
j - guitars, effects, bass, drums, vocals, keyboards, tapes, sounds, percussion, production.

released December 25, 1996

demo #17: suicide

the second part of the two part suite that ends this mess.

it's probably predictable that i ended with a song about suicide. i had to fast forward a section, though, because i don't want to get sued. it remains legally sketchy in a way i'm very self-conscious of.

i guess there's been a lot written about this, and it was a long time ago. that being said, maybe this is interesting in the sense that it's one kid's reaction to it - albeit a few years later, so there was a bit of time to process it.

recorded in december, 1996. remastered on october 30, 2013.

demo #16: viewless

this is the first section of a two-part suite that ends this demo tape.

i was simply being incredibly facetious through the track, to the level that i think my point got lost in the sarcasm. ignored youth, and whatnot; not the tv, so therefore not worth listening to.

musically, this is a bit of a step forward into a bigger type of epic rock. the production is awful; i corrected that when i re-recorded it. the tape, here, gets mangled and blurry at points entirely on purpose.

recorded in december, 1996. remastered oct 30, 2013.