this is a
collection of versions of a track that was important to me around the
turn of the century: five electronic versions (seven including the
downloads) and an electric folk version that i often played as a sort of
a drunken party trick. after the lead track, the electronic versions
are arranged in decreasing complexity, and the electric folk version is
at the end. the extra tracks are both vocal mixes; i felt that only one
was really necessary, but included them here for scope.
it's sort of about me, and sort of about my dad, and sort of about caricatures. we never had a dog drown, and i simply have no knowledge of the dynamics of my parents' sexual relationship. that's just an old country song. yet, there were a lot of stressful problems in both his work and family life, and that was being pointed to as a cause of his heart problems.
in hindsight, i'd tend to lean more towards genetics (and perhaps lifestyle) than stress. of course, that's something i have an interest in understanding further as i age. at the time, though, the focus was all about reducing the amount of stress he was dealing with.
i really just sort of didn't get it. i still don't *really* get it. stressed? well, chill out then. spark one up. put on a tune. it's maybe not as easy as snapping a finger, but it has to be about a general philosophy of life. see, i guess i place a lot less faith in the idea of free will than most people do - and my father, being a rush fan, and don't get me started on that travesty, put far more faith in it. when one is absolutely convinced that their entire life is determined by the choices they make, including the ones they don't make, it produces a lot of pressure to make or not make the right choices. meaning? he did it to himself - his atlas never shrugged.
ultimately, universe gonna hate. your so-called free will is doomed to be crushed in a wave of stochastics. the universe is a random, chaotic place defined by poorly understood probabilities. so, why bother concerning yourself so deeply with the consequences of your actions in this pointless existence, to the point that it might cut that existence short? it was the idea of him driving himself to cardiac arrest that pissed me off. you could be hit by an asteroid in your sleep. you could spontaneously combust. you could even wake up one day to find that aliens have landed and are taking over the world using robot gunships. once you get *that*, trying to fight for control seems pointless. embrace the random, and spiral out....
or, so, the debate went. i wasn't really comfortable writing a song *about* my old man, so i took a fictional first-person perspective and went to town with it a bit.
the cover art bitmap is one of the files i put through coagula to produce sound out of light. inristart was a working title for the piece.
written and recorded, 1999-2001. track 3 was reconstructed out of existing sound in june, 2004. initially sequenced in jan, 2014. four new mixes (maximal mix (2017), electronics only mix (2015), single mix for lp010 (2017), full instrumental mix from deny everything (2014)) were added on oct 5, 2017; release subsequently closed. as always, please use headphones.
the full instrumental mix of this track appears on my fourth record:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/deny-everything
the lead track also appears on the inrimoved compilation, which is a lost record of discarded vocal pieces:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inrimoved
...and the folk version appears on my fifth record:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
*download only
it's sort of about me, and sort of about my dad, and sort of about caricatures. we never had a dog drown, and i simply have no knowledge of the dynamics of my parents' sexual relationship. that's just an old country song. yet, there were a lot of stressful problems in both his work and family life, and that was being pointed to as a cause of his heart problems.
in hindsight, i'd tend to lean more towards genetics (and perhaps lifestyle) than stress. of course, that's something i have an interest in understanding further as i age. at the time, though, the focus was all about reducing the amount of stress he was dealing with.
i really just sort of didn't get it. i still don't *really* get it. stressed? well, chill out then. spark one up. put on a tune. it's maybe not as easy as snapping a finger, but it has to be about a general philosophy of life. see, i guess i place a lot less faith in the idea of free will than most people do - and my father, being a rush fan, and don't get me started on that travesty, put far more faith in it. when one is absolutely convinced that their entire life is determined by the choices they make, including the ones they don't make, it produces a lot of pressure to make or not make the right choices. meaning? he did it to himself - his atlas never shrugged.
ultimately, universe gonna hate. your so-called free will is doomed to be crushed in a wave of stochastics. the universe is a random, chaotic place defined by poorly understood probabilities. so, why bother concerning yourself so deeply with the consequences of your actions in this pointless existence, to the point that it might cut that existence short? it was the idea of him driving himself to cardiac arrest that pissed me off. you could be hit by an asteroid in your sleep. you could spontaneously combust. you could even wake up one day to find that aliens have landed and are taking over the world using robot gunships. once you get *that*, trying to fight for control seems pointless. embrace the random, and spiral out....
or, so, the debate went. i wasn't really comfortable writing a song *about* my old man, so i took a fictional first-person perspective and went to town with it a bit.
the cover art bitmap is one of the files i put through coagula to produce sound out of light. inristart was a working title for the piece.
written and recorded, 1999-2001. track 3 was reconstructed out of existing sound in june, 2004. initially sequenced in jan, 2014. four new mixes (maximal mix (2017), electronics only mix (2015), single mix for lp010 (2017), full instrumental mix from deny everything (2014)) were added on oct 5, 2017; release subsequently closed. as always, please use headphones.
the full instrumental mix of this track appears on my fourth record:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/deny-everything
the lead track also appears on the inrimoved compilation, which is a lost record of discarded vocal pieces:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inrimoved
...and the folk version appears on my fifth record:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
*download only
credits
released July 11, 2000
j - guitars, effects, bass, synthesizers, sequencing, drum programming, vocals, vocoders, sound design, sampling, digital wave editing, production
j - guitars, effects, bass, synthesizers, sequencing, drum programming, vocals, vocoders, sound design, sampling, digital wave editing, production
