so, the mix is finalized, i'm just fighting with the sampler.

it's different every time i play it. and it's bluntly driving me bonkers. i think this is probably by design to make it sound "more real", as nobody plays the same thing the same way twice. but, they seem to have picked rather annoying variables to modulate in order to create this effect, and i can't figure out how to turn it off.

i'll have to adjust in the future by rendering guitar outs to wave essentially immediately. it's going to kill a little bit of flexibility, but at least i'll have control over the sound.

for right now, to get this mix out, i'm forced to keep experimenting with the render until it comes out right. it can't possibly take more than a few more hours to do this...

this is a softer argument that i think i ought to try first and foremost, and continue moving back to...

the fact is that i went in to see the doctor in the first place because i wanted to discuss factors that were disabling me from finding employment. i went through a long process from that point, but the essential premise has remained in stasis. i remain in need of that discussion about factors that are disabling me from finding employment. that needs to be a basic step forwards, and it's unlikely to resolve itself in a period of three months. so, if you're not going to diagnose me on the spot then you need to put the things in motion to have me have that discussion relatively quickly, so i can get another year or two to either be diagnosed more rigorously or to try and carry out any recommendations.

it's funny how you meet these people that think they can conquer any odds. it defies the entire concept of odds to think you can conquer all odds. so, there's an implicit misunderstanding of the concept inherent in this perspective. so, to me, the more interesting question is how such absurdity can arise?

i think there's a simple psychological explanation that essentially renders the concept as relative - despite all arguments to the contrary. it's ultimately just not carefully thought through, of course. but, i think the way it works is basically this - if you've never put yourself up against serious odds, if all of your challenges in life are things that you're more likely to succeed at than fail at, then you might gather the perception that odds aren't important. if you've always been favoured, and you've always won, it's possible to delude yourself into thinking you'll always win. see, that's the odds working, though. kind of comically.

so, you get these situations where people are faced with 100:1 odds and they approach it with the attitude that the situation is inevitably going to unfold in their favour, like every other situation always has. which is the comfort of modern existence, i suppose.

hey, google..

do you think people might enjoy being notified when somebody they subscribe to changes their lead video? i know i'm abusing your system, but i think it's an abuse that could be expanded into a functionality. but, i'm not sure. part of me thinks it's invasive, part of me thinks it's a good idea.

at least the way i'm thinking about using it is a good idea. see, i'm running through my discography in a one-to-one relationship with the time it took to create it. what that means is that my lead track is consistently about 18.5 years ago, which means when i change it is an interesting idea for a long term feed to follow, as you're following a relatively unusual life. it's a character to follow. slowly. i'll probably actually set up my own rss for this when i get around to doing a number of things that are like this. but i still like the idea of using youtube for it directly. put another way, i'm a musician, so the storyline of the "channel" requires a slightly different set of tools to set up to follow.

but, it could be used for pure evil, too. this is a privilege that requires careful checks and balances, and it might be impossible to keep it in line.

so, i dunno. maybe notifications on the lead video change aren't the best idea. but i think that the ability to set up specific feeds to subscribe to kind of really is a good idea.

i know i can set up a playlist and use rss feeds on the playlist adds, but there's no social front-end to this besides facebook, which i'm trying to get away from. and if i'm going to update an appspot site, i don't need an rss feed for it so it's kind of a non-answer.

it's something that would be much better to present inside of youtube...

hell, i'll build it for you if you want to let me hang out in california for a few months.

:).

put simply, it's just the idea of channels having multiple feeds that subscribers can subscribe independently to.