so, i quit smoking for most of february and noticed the dysphagia improved but didn't disappear. i also noticed i was less alert and less productive. as the smoking does not seem to be the cause of the dysphagia, and i wanted to increase my alertness and productivity, i picked smoking back up for the first week of march. while my alertness and productivity did increase, the dysphagia quickly became unbearable. i'm at a breaking point and will stop. i need to eat. but it means i need to deal with the effects of withdrawal this week, which is extreme sleepiness. again. grargh.

i have enough evidence at this point to conclude that i either have ms or cancer. i'm going to have to go to the clinic and have this sorted out, as i know the dysphagia is not going to go away by not smoking. i just want to finish this song first...

there's really only one "easy way out", and it's that i have a massive ear infection. but, i'm grasping at straws.

my perspective about ms is that i can't do anything about it, so why waste the time in a doctor's office? but, it's starting to affect my arm, which affects my playing. if i can get some drugs for that, i'll take them.