Thursday, November 7, 2013

demo #24: not that there’s anything wrong with that

so, i'm glad this isn't the first track i'm uploading. by this point, it should be clear that i had a tendency in this period to take first person perspectives of unsavoury characters in order to mock them - skater thugs, rapists, terrorists...

standard punk rock technique.

here, i'm a homophobe. and i'm kind of harsh; there's a certain level of comedy through the track if you have a dark sense of humour (and this was intentional), but it's harsh. so i should trigger warning this.

in truth, i was the stupid fag that was getting told to go away, although i was always very coy about my sexuality. well, how do you bring the topic up to a bunch of mostly sexually insecure teenage boys that have never dated and don't appear likely to date in the near future? i've mentioned to many people that i've never really been interpreted as a gay male, and that's absolutely true; it's not really the level i got attacked on. it wasn't even on the level of being effeminate; i've never really exaggerated my femininity, ether. the rejection was more on the level of not being able to relate to guy things. at that age, a certain kind of mindset deduces that not caring about certain guy things logically implies homosexuality. the logic is airtight, with the right axiom.

it's a little more complex than that, though. there was a sort of shielding effect at work. not with me, really (as mentioned, i just avoided the topic on just about every level), but with some of the other kids i was associating with. i'm not going to name any names, but i was sort of mocking them a little. what's between the lines is that old freudian suggestion, and in hindsight it really doesn't matter if i was right or not (it was out of line).

but, yeah. this is my mocking homophobe track, complete with aggro nu-metal riff, or at least the closest thing to an aggro nu-metal riff i could muster up. actually, i was a fan of life is peachy - and limp bizkit hadn't released their first disc yet, so i think i was actually sort of predicting something.

recorded in april, 1997. remastered on nov 7, 2013.