Wednesday, April 20, 2016
spring bug update
i've caught two in the last twelve hours (one around midnight, the
other around 8:00 am) near the front door, which is a little different.
essentially every roach i've ever seen in here has been near the
plumbing on the far side - in the kitchen usually, or maybe in the
bathroom or sometimes in the closet in the bedroom. but always clearly
near the plumbing as a water source. so, to see two of them come in from
the other side like this is a little different.
so, i did some liberal spraying along each of the four doorways around the two entrances. i suppose we'll find out how many get trapped in it over the next few days. but, it seems to suggest there's been a population increase in the back area. it's generally stated that seeing roaches in the day is a bad sign.
i haven't seen any on the plumbing side yet this year, but i will be doing spring cleaning over the weekend - which means spraying behind the appliances and replacing the steel wool.
the headaches have subsided. and i want to be clear that i wasn't trying to be accusatory. i was just trying to figure out if the unit was sprayed when i wasn't here, as that struck me as a likely explanation for what was happening. pure intuition. and, obviously, i would like to be informed when the unit is going to be sprayed, if the unit is going to be sprayed. but i wouldn't have raised the issue if i wasn't getting dramatic symptoms coming from the air - not just headaches, actually, but visual hallucinations (tracers) and at one point an inability to speak. i mean, i spent a day in the hospital. they told me i had a migraine, and maybe that was it, but it kind of seems like i was poisoned. again: i'm not making accusations, exactly, i'm more just contemplating possibilities. however, because i've sprayed down here this morning, i've now contaminated myself regarding any testing. i wouldn't have sprayed if i didn't think it was gone, anyways. at the very least, realize this: if there was spraying down here this month, i got some pretty nasty side effects from it. so, that shouldn't happen again without telling me what's happening so i can adjust...
so, i did some liberal spraying along each of the four doorways around the two entrances. i suppose we'll find out how many get trapped in it over the next few days. but, it seems to suggest there's been a population increase in the back area. it's generally stated that seeing roaches in the day is a bad sign.
i haven't seen any on the plumbing side yet this year, but i will be doing spring cleaning over the weekend - which means spraying behind the appliances and replacing the steel wool.
the headaches have subsided. and i want to be clear that i wasn't trying to be accusatory. i was just trying to figure out if the unit was sprayed when i wasn't here, as that struck me as a likely explanation for what was happening. pure intuition. and, obviously, i would like to be informed when the unit is going to be sprayed, if the unit is going to be sprayed. but i wouldn't have raised the issue if i wasn't getting dramatic symptoms coming from the air - not just headaches, actually, but visual hallucinations (tracers) and at one point an inability to speak. i mean, i spent a day in the hospital. they told me i had a migraine, and maybe that was it, but it kind of seems like i was poisoned. again: i'm not making accusations, exactly, i'm more just contemplating possibilities. however, because i've sprayed down here this morning, i've now contaminated myself regarding any testing. i wouldn't have sprayed if i didn't think it was gone, anyways. at the very least, realize this: if there was spraying down here this month, i got some pretty nasty side effects from it. so, that shouldn't happen again without telling me what's happening so i can adjust...
i am now moving this laptop back into the bedroom, and getting ready to turn the pc back on. the last thing i have to do on the laptop is clean this page up, but it won't make sense to do that right away - i'll have to do it as i'm rebuilding the alter-reality (and the period disc) from 1996 on. and, in order to get there, i still have to sort through some things, to make sure i've found everything i can.
i don't know if there are still usenet or mailing list archives for me to access online, but it's secondary to finding what i can in squirelled away pst files first, anyways. iirc, it was about mid-1997 that i started rambling on the internet. the alter-reality starts in the summer of 1996, and will consequently kick back in around july. but, then i've got a year before i need to worry about it. and, i consequently may put it off for a little while, depending on how fast i find things.
i'm hitting a strange show tonight (melt banana / melvins...and i'll probably stay for napalm death, too, depending on set times), because it's 4/20. but, i think i should get through most of this scavenging by the end of the day, too. and, then i can get back to finishing what i started doing back in december.
almost there. seriously.
and what do i have to show for it? well, i've pulled down over a gb of text from the internet. 1.2 gb. of text. stored in word documents. i jest you not, this is the truth. message boards. youtube. email. facebook. it's 1.2 gb of text. since 2011. and understand this: i have many times more than this from before 2011. so, when i claim that i'm building an alter-reality with a lot of writing....
it'll be really obvious what i'm doing as soon as i start doing it. and i'm just about there.
and, did i mention that i quit smoking, too? that was really important. and, frankly, this was a pretty productive way to do that. time is a strange intangible and everything. i'd prefer it if we weren't stuck running out of it. and, i may be lucky enough to catch the cut-off point after all. i'm beginning to think i was too pessimistic. but, i don't regret this. and, if i can catch immortality after all, then i'm just setting myself up for it. hey, that cut-off point is coming soon, whether i catch it or not.
i don't know if there are still usenet or mailing list archives for me to access online, but it's secondary to finding what i can in squirelled away pst files first, anyways. iirc, it was about mid-1997 that i started rambling on the internet. the alter-reality starts in the summer of 1996, and will consequently kick back in around july. but, then i've got a year before i need to worry about it. and, i consequently may put it off for a little while, depending on how fast i find things.
i'm hitting a strange show tonight (melt banana / melvins...and i'll probably stay for napalm death, too, depending on set times), because it's 4/20. but, i think i should get through most of this scavenging by the end of the day, too. and, then i can get back to finishing what i started doing back in december.
almost there. seriously.
and what do i have to show for it? well, i've pulled down over a gb of text from the internet. 1.2 gb. of text. stored in word documents. i jest you not, this is the truth. message boards. youtube. email. facebook. it's 1.2 gb of text. since 2011. and understand this: i have many times more than this from before 2011. so, when i claim that i'm building an alter-reality with a lot of writing....
it'll be really obvious what i'm doing as soon as i start doing it. and i'm just about there.
and, did i mention that i quit smoking, too? that was really important. and, frankly, this was a pretty productive way to do that. time is a strange intangible and everything. i'd prefer it if we weren't stuck running out of it. and, i may be lucky enough to catch the cut-off point after all. i'm beginning to think i was too pessimistic. but, i don't regret this. and, if i can catch immortality after all, then i'm just setting myself up for it. hey, that cut-off point is coming soon, whether i catch it or not.
Monday, April 18, 2016
fw: from the past
this is basically a fake email address. i'm still using the death.to.koalas address.
i'm clearing out some old email. communications with my dad. school stuff. losing my mind on hormones...
this is a direct forward, catch me after the jump.
======
i'm going to fade away now for a bit...
Jason Parent <death.to.koalas@gmail.com> 11 August 2010 at 04:57
To: Sarah
Reply | Reply to all | Forward | Print | Delete | Show original
....i still want that add and you know not getting it is weirding me out..
...but i'm getting the point, silent and clear.
it's a shame, really. ten years. multiple shared apartments. jams. discussions. arguments. trips. concerts. love. hate. just about everything in between.
i think there's a fundamental disconnect going on right now between the way that we see each other. i would introduce you to a room as follows: "this is my friend, sarah.". you would introduce me to a room as follows: "this is my crazy ex-boyfriend, j.".
friend.
ex-lover.
i've had a persistent fear over the last five years that i was going to eventually lose you forever, and when i say that i mean lose *you*, a friend, a person that's very important to me. in a fit of insanity, i think i may have actually managed to accomplish this...
.....and that my only hope of not losing you forever is to back off and wait until you decide to call, if you ever decide to call ever again.
i'll get over it, i just wish i didn't have to.
you're probably actually relieved to hear me say this, and that actually makes me a little bit sad.
======
that was right before i started to lose it - a little after i told you i was going back on hormones. and i think it's clear that i realized what was about to happen, right? that i knew you were going to react poorly. and that i knew i was going to break apart into little pieces.
but, even at this point i think the fundamental disconnect is clear:
i would introduce you to a room as follows: "this is my friend, sarah.". you would introduce me to a room as follows: "this is my crazy ex-boyfriend, j.".
is that not spot on accurate? but, see this is the crux of the situation that i was never able to give up hope on: if you would have been able to merely see me as a friend, as i was able to see you, then there wouldn't have been a crisis. i did not think this should be so difficult. and, frankly, i did not initially realize that you retained latent feelings. you have two children, after all. i thought you were completely over me.
i'm not going to pretend that i can make sense of everything that i typed or did over the next few years. it's not that there wasn't logic to it; to the contrary, the logic was often very complex. it's that i was having difficulty determining what was real and what wasn't. so, trying to decipher what i had typed or did (in hindsight) relies on understanding some paranoid projection of something, which is not always obvious at this distant a date. i was convinced that there was some kind of a conspiracy to keep you away from me. but, see, all i wanted to get across was that my intentions were benign. i was convinced everything would right itself, if you would just know in your heart that all i truly wanted was to hang out twice a year. that is in itself as neurotic as anything else. but, perhaps, if you were completely over me...
i need you to understand that i was dealing with some advanced psychosis. maybe i still am. there were many complex factors. and, while it wasn't your responsibility to deal with it, and i do not fault you for my crazy behaviour, your perception was self-fulfilling. that is, in time, i *became* your crazy ex-boyfriend. it is true that what i wanted was to be your friend. but, the harder i tried, the more of a crazy ex i became. and there was no solution to this.
i can't deal with unsolvability...
today, i live on odsp in windsor, ontario. i moved here because the cost of living is a lot lower. i will likely remain on odsp for the rest of my life. but, i need to be clear: this is not rhetoric. i'm not just saying that i lost my mind, or that i had a mental breakdown, or that i was dealing with psychosis. i have been diagnosed with a mental illness. i live on disability as a consequence of it. i am not dangerous, but i am unpredictable. and, my behaviour over those years was a consequence of it - even if it's not entirely obvious to you when or how i was schizing out.
it is very unlikely that i will ever go back to ottawa.
i am a very patient person, as you know, but i do have limits. and, the empathy that i had for your distress over my transition has faded. i've actually developed a level of bitterness. i am probably holding you in higher regard than is fair to you, and reacting poorly to unrealized expectations that i have no actual business holding you to. but, it is what it is.
but, i never got the closure i wanted, either. we were friends for ten years; you just decided to ignore me one day. i thought i deserved some kind of explanation. i actually think i still do. i don't think that anything that happened after this day negates this.
i'm giving you the courtesy of providing an explanation for my own behaviour. this is of course very general, but i don't think either of us really want particularly granular details. but, i'm good at 'splaining. and i think i'm getting my points across clearly. if you'd like to reciprocate, i'd still appreciate that. otherwise, i wouldn't expect to hear from me again - these emails are in the process of being destroyed.
bandcamp:
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com
youtube:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCinQSeEtF0vSN1XVhQGfwKA
j
i'm clearing out some old email. communications with my dad. school stuff. losing my mind on hormones...
this is a direct forward, catch me after the jump.
======
i'm going to fade away now for a bit...
Jason Parent <death.to.koalas@gmail.com> 11 August 2010 at 04:57
To: Sarah
Reply | Reply to all | Forward | Print | Delete | Show original
....i still want that add and you know not getting it is weirding me out..
...but i'm getting the point, silent and clear.
it's a shame, really. ten years. multiple shared apartments. jams. discussions. arguments. trips. concerts. love. hate. just about everything in between.
i think there's a fundamental disconnect going on right now between the way that we see each other. i would introduce you to a room as follows: "this is my friend, sarah.". you would introduce me to a room as follows: "this is my crazy ex-boyfriend, j.".
friend.
ex-lover.
i've had a persistent fear over the last five years that i was going to eventually lose you forever, and when i say that i mean lose *you*, a friend, a person that's very important to me. in a fit of insanity, i think i may have actually managed to accomplish this...
.....and that my only hope of not losing you forever is to back off and wait until you decide to call, if you ever decide to call ever again.
i'll get over it, i just wish i didn't have to.
you're probably actually relieved to hear me say this, and that actually makes me a little bit sad.
======
that was right before i started to lose it - a little after i told you i was going back on hormones. and i think it's clear that i realized what was about to happen, right? that i knew you were going to react poorly. and that i knew i was going to break apart into little pieces.
but, even at this point i think the fundamental disconnect is clear:
i would introduce you to a room as follows: "this is my friend, sarah.". you would introduce me to a room as follows: "this is my crazy ex-boyfriend, j.".
is that not spot on accurate? but, see this is the crux of the situation that i was never able to give up hope on: if you would have been able to merely see me as a friend, as i was able to see you, then there wouldn't have been a crisis. i did not think this should be so difficult. and, frankly, i did not initially realize that you retained latent feelings. you have two children, after all. i thought you were completely over me.
i'm not going to pretend that i can make sense of everything that i typed or did over the next few years. it's not that there wasn't logic to it; to the contrary, the logic was often very complex. it's that i was having difficulty determining what was real and what wasn't. so, trying to decipher what i had typed or did (in hindsight) relies on understanding some paranoid projection of something, which is not always obvious at this distant a date. i was convinced that there was some kind of a conspiracy to keep you away from me. but, see, all i wanted to get across was that my intentions were benign. i was convinced everything would right itself, if you would just know in your heart that all i truly wanted was to hang out twice a year. that is in itself as neurotic as anything else. but, perhaps, if you were completely over me...
i need you to understand that i was dealing with some advanced psychosis. maybe i still am. there were many complex factors. and, while it wasn't your responsibility to deal with it, and i do not fault you for my crazy behaviour, your perception was self-fulfilling. that is, in time, i *became* your crazy ex-boyfriend. it is true that what i wanted was to be your friend. but, the harder i tried, the more of a crazy ex i became. and there was no solution to this.
i can't deal with unsolvability...
today, i live on odsp in windsor, ontario. i moved here because the cost of living is a lot lower. i will likely remain on odsp for the rest of my life. but, i need to be clear: this is not rhetoric. i'm not just saying that i lost my mind, or that i had a mental breakdown, or that i was dealing with psychosis. i have been diagnosed with a mental illness. i live on disability as a consequence of it. i am not dangerous, but i am unpredictable. and, my behaviour over those years was a consequence of it - even if it's not entirely obvious to you when or how i was schizing out.
it is very unlikely that i will ever go back to ottawa.
i am a very patient person, as you know, but i do have limits. and, the empathy that i had for your distress over my transition has faded. i've actually developed a level of bitterness. i am probably holding you in higher regard than is fair to you, and reacting poorly to unrealized expectations that i have no actual business holding you to. but, it is what it is.
but, i never got the closure i wanted, either. we were friends for ten years; you just decided to ignore me one day. i thought i deserved some kind of explanation. i actually think i still do. i don't think that anything that happened after this day negates this.
i'm giving you the courtesy of providing an explanation for my own behaviour. this is of course very general, but i don't think either of us really want particularly granular details. but, i'm good at 'splaining. and i think i'm getting my points across clearly. if you'd like to reciprocate, i'd still appreciate that. otherwise, i wouldn't expect to hear from me again - these emails are in the process of being destroyed.
bandcamp:
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com
youtube:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCinQSeEtF0vSN1XVhQGfwKA
j
Sunday, April 17, 2016
Saturday, April 16, 2016
need to know about spraying down here
jessica
hi.
i've been dealing with some pretty severe headaches for the last few weeks, and i'm kind of putting together a hypothesis. now, i think it goes without saying that the most important thing is everybody's health....
i went to a concert on the evening of monday the 4th. the first headache hit me on the afternoon of wednesday the 6th. i became aware of the bed bug concern on thursday the 7th. i was nursing one when you came down on the evening of the 8th. what i've noticed since then is that the headaches have something to do with the air quality in the basement, and that i'm going to need to air the basement out (probably tomorrow and monday). in the mean time, i have the fan running nonstop. i've tried to turn it off a few times, and the headache always comes on very strong. so, i'm pretty sure about cause and effect with something in the air in the basement.
now, who knows, right. it could be anything at all, really. but, i'm just having a hard time shaking the possibility that there may have been some spraying done in the basement when i was gone. i mean, it all adds up. while it's true that the basement is overdue for an airing out, and i could just be reacting to stale air. why did it just start to affect me a few weeks ago?
if there is something to the hypothesis, and i'm *still* reacting to the pesticide, there must have been an awful lot of pesticide sprayed down here. and, i think i ought to be concerned about long term effects, at this point, due to continued exposure.
either way, the reality is that i've had almost two weeks worth of migraines, now. i'm going to need to seek medical attention one way or the other. that's going to involve taking blood tests and other things - if i'm dealing with chemical exposure, i'm going to figure that out. so, if you can help me figure out of there was spraying down here, it's just saving me some time, really.
i've been thinking about it a long while and trying to get my head around it. how could anybody spray a unit and not tell the person?
that seems insane. so, i've been putting this email off, maybe to the detriment of my own health. but, i've clued in that there's a kind of child-like concept of punitive effects at play. i could imagine that he might have been afraid that he'd be "caught" with bed bugs, and so wanted to spray to make sure nobody found out.
and, then he couldn't tell me, of course. it sounds inconceivable. but, to a child, the possibility of not getting caught with bed bugs would outweigh everything else. or, at least that's the best i can make sense of it.
it's all horribly negligent and everything, but i'm really more concerned about my health, right now. if there was something sprayed down here, figuring out what it was will help me in determining what kind of exposure i've had, how much i've got in me, how to clear it out, etc. and, i'm going to get to the point through testing, eventually, anyways.
i trust you'd tell me, if you knew, because you're a responsible adult and everything. i'm more presenting arguments for you to throw at paul to get an honest response out of him. i really don't think i'd get one out of him, myself.
even if i can air the place out tomorrow and it works in eliminating the headaches, i think i need to know if i'm possibly reacting to something or not.
i need to be clear that i'm not exactly making any accusations. as mentioned, it could be anything. but, i can't shake the suspicion - and i'm consequently going to end up testing for it. if i can get some confirmation, it's just going to allow me to reduce exposure faster and reduce risk factors quicker.
the landlord
Jessica, I have asked repeatedly that My brother and niece catch one bug or bugs so that I could verify there are bed bugs. my niece started this scare originally with what she thought were bites on the back of her hand. That turned out to be Xema. She had recently visited her Doctor and was told she had XEMA on her hand and not bites. Up to this point they have not caught one bug to show me that Bed bugs are identified as a problem. At this point I am convinced there are no bed bugs at all. If there were bed bugs they would have multiplied and there would be evidence of many bugs and actual bites. I have not seen one bed bug to this day. I know you research things quite well and I have done my share of reading and researching! bed bugs spread and multiple quickly. I have not seen any evidence that there are bed bugs in my niece's place or any other place. ..... I was told that my niece's boyfriend, killed a bug crawling up the wall and which they determined it to be a bed bug. Still they did not keep it to identify it as a bed bug.. The other point I want to make is that the thought of bed bugs does make people panic and do not want to be associated with this problem. SO, people to panic and react without verifying. So please be empathetic to this reality.
SPRAYING. I do know that they did spray in my niece's place about a week ago which was about 1/4 to less of a spray can; my brother did the spraying, one time along the bed boards and baseboard in one room. This was isolated to their apartment only. I do not believe this product could have migrated to your apartment, since they followed the instructions to keep all their doors closed while this product settled. Please keep in mind each units ventilation system does not mix their air to the rest of the air in the building. All exhaust fans purge air outside the building. Please, also keep in mind anything is possible when door s open and close, but I would say that any migration of the product would have been minimal to the existing hallway and they did keep doors shut for the appropriate time. The other point that I must make is that I cannot stop any tenant from spraying in their apartment. I cannot even stop you from buying a can of spray and you spraying your apartment. All I can do is educate everyone to be mindful of any bug situations, think clearly of what they should or should not do and that they must contact me before they act. Additionally, I have been specific with my niece and my brother, there will be no further spraying in the building for bed bugs, since we have no proof of bed bugs. They must have my permission to spray anywhere in the common hallways and basement!!!!!. ....
jessica
yeah. and, i've done a little more research and it does turn out that the symptoms i was experiencing - aphasia (difficulty speaking) and auras - are actually common symptoms of severe migraines. the thing is they're *also* symptoms of pesticide poisoning. i mean, i initially thought i was having a stroke. there was a point where i couldn't speak. so....it's more like i wanted to rule it out.
consider this: i suppose you could imagine how a fumigation in here might have also created those symptoms. that's what i wanted to be sure hadn't happened.
i really don't have a history of migraines either, so it's not like i could say i was expecting something from a trigger. but lots of things cause migraines. it turns out the number one trigger is in fact environmental conditions. so maybe i just had a bad reaction to the stale air, after all.
i know it's a crazy thing, but thank you for determining whether there was spraying down here or not, just so i know what had happened.
in case you're curious, this describes the attack:
https://migraine.com/blog/migraine-symptoms-transient-aphasia/
it's maybe easier to see why poisoning is something that's in the distinct realm of possibility. and, so, given the circumstances...
hi.
i've been dealing with some pretty severe headaches for the last few weeks, and i'm kind of putting together a hypothesis. now, i think it goes without saying that the most important thing is everybody's health....
i went to a concert on the evening of monday the 4th. the first headache hit me on the afternoon of wednesday the 6th. i became aware of the bed bug concern on thursday the 7th. i was nursing one when you came down on the evening of the 8th. what i've noticed since then is that the headaches have something to do with the air quality in the basement, and that i'm going to need to air the basement out (probably tomorrow and monday). in the mean time, i have the fan running nonstop. i've tried to turn it off a few times, and the headache always comes on very strong. so, i'm pretty sure about cause and effect with something in the air in the basement.
now, who knows, right. it could be anything at all, really. but, i'm just having a hard time shaking the possibility that there may have been some spraying done in the basement when i was gone. i mean, it all adds up. while it's true that the basement is overdue for an airing out, and i could just be reacting to stale air. why did it just start to affect me a few weeks ago?
if there is something to the hypothesis, and i'm *still* reacting to the pesticide, there must have been an awful lot of pesticide sprayed down here. and, i think i ought to be concerned about long term effects, at this point, due to continued exposure.
either way, the reality is that i've had almost two weeks worth of migraines, now. i'm going to need to seek medical attention one way or the other. that's going to involve taking blood tests and other things - if i'm dealing with chemical exposure, i'm going to figure that out. so, if you can help me figure out of there was spraying down here, it's just saving me some time, really.
i've been thinking about it a long while and trying to get my head around it. how could anybody spray a unit and not tell the person?
that seems insane. so, i've been putting this email off, maybe to the detriment of my own health. but, i've clued in that there's a kind of child-like concept of punitive effects at play. i could imagine that he might have been afraid that he'd be "caught" with bed bugs, and so wanted to spray to make sure nobody found out.
and, then he couldn't tell me, of course. it sounds inconceivable. but, to a child, the possibility of not getting caught with bed bugs would outweigh everything else. or, at least that's the best i can make sense of it.
it's all horribly negligent and everything, but i'm really more concerned about my health, right now. if there was something sprayed down here, figuring out what it was will help me in determining what kind of exposure i've had, how much i've got in me, how to clear it out, etc. and, i'm going to get to the point through testing, eventually, anyways.
i trust you'd tell me, if you knew, because you're a responsible adult and everything. i'm more presenting arguments for you to throw at paul to get an honest response out of him. i really don't think i'd get one out of him, myself.
even if i can air the place out tomorrow and it works in eliminating the headaches, i think i need to know if i'm possibly reacting to something or not.
i need to be clear that i'm not exactly making any accusations. as mentioned, it could be anything. but, i can't shake the suspicion - and i'm consequently going to end up testing for it. if i can get some confirmation, it's just going to allow me to reduce exposure faster and reduce risk factors quicker.
the landlord
Jessica, I have asked repeatedly that My brother and niece catch one bug or bugs so that I could verify there are bed bugs. my niece started this scare originally with what she thought were bites on the back of her hand. That turned out to be Xema. She had recently visited her Doctor and was told she had XEMA on her hand and not bites. Up to this point they have not caught one bug to show me that Bed bugs are identified as a problem. At this point I am convinced there are no bed bugs at all. If there were bed bugs they would have multiplied and there would be evidence of many bugs and actual bites. I have not seen one bed bug to this day. I know you research things quite well and I have done my share of reading and researching! bed bugs spread and multiple quickly. I have not seen any evidence that there are bed bugs in my niece's place or any other place. ..... I was told that my niece's boyfriend, killed a bug crawling up the wall and which they determined it to be a bed bug. Still they did not keep it to identify it as a bed bug.. The other point I want to make is that the thought of bed bugs does make people panic and do not want to be associated with this problem. SO, people to panic and react without verifying. So please be empathetic to this reality.
SPRAYING. I do know that they did spray in my niece's place about a week ago which was about 1/4 to less of a spray can; my brother did the spraying, one time along the bed boards and baseboard in one room. This was isolated to their apartment only. I do not believe this product could have migrated to your apartment, since they followed the instructions to keep all their doors closed while this product settled. Please keep in mind each units ventilation system does not mix their air to the rest of the air in the building. All exhaust fans purge air outside the building. Please, also keep in mind anything is possible when door s open and close, but I would say that any migration of the product would have been minimal to the existing hallway and they did keep doors shut for the appropriate time. The other point that I must make is that I cannot stop any tenant from spraying in their apartment. I cannot even stop you from buying a can of spray and you spraying your apartment. All I can do is educate everyone to be mindful of any bug situations, think clearly of what they should or should not do and that they must contact me before they act. Additionally, I have been specific with my niece and my brother, there will be no further spraying in the building for bed bugs, since we have no proof of bed bugs. They must have my permission to spray anywhere in the common hallways and basement!!!!!. ....
jessica
yeah. and, i've done a little more research and it does turn out that the symptoms i was experiencing - aphasia (difficulty speaking) and auras - are actually common symptoms of severe migraines. the thing is they're *also* symptoms of pesticide poisoning. i mean, i initially thought i was having a stroke. there was a point where i couldn't speak. so....it's more like i wanted to rule it out.
consider this: i suppose you could imagine how a fumigation in here might have also created those symptoms. that's what i wanted to be sure hadn't happened.
i really don't have a history of migraines either, so it's not like i could say i was expecting something from a trigger. but lots of things cause migraines. it turns out the number one trigger is in fact environmental conditions. so maybe i just had a bad reaction to the stale air, after all.
i know it's a crazy thing, but thank you for determining whether there was spraying down here or not, just so i know what had happened.
in case you're curious, this describes the attack:
https://migraine.com/blog/migraine-symptoms-transient-aphasia/
it's maybe easier to see why poisoning is something that's in the distinct realm of possibility. and, so, given the circumstances...
Friday, April 15, 2016
i should be back on track by monday at the latest.
but i need to answer a question: am i going to be doing anything new?
i've been clear for years that the answer is no. & absolutely not.
i'm 35 years old, now. when i started this phase of archival and completion, i was 33. i'm past my creative period. ask yourself this question: can you think of a single interesting record made by a 30 year-old?
but i've also grown up. and i'm past the age where i want to be making music, too. my contemporary interests are in politics and political philosophy. i will be spending the rest of my life writing.
but, i do not want to leave these ideas unfinished, either. so, i am focusing on completing unfinished works. and, then i am going to be doing something else with the rest of my life.
but i need to answer a question: am i going to be doing anything new?
i've been clear for years that the answer is no. & absolutely not.
i'm 35 years old, now. when i started this phase of archival and completion, i was 33. i'm past my creative period. ask yourself this question: can you think of a single interesting record made by a 30 year-old?
but i've also grown up. and i'm past the age where i want to be making music, too. my contemporary interests are in politics and political philosophy. i will be spending the rest of my life writing.
but, i do not want to leave these ideas unfinished, either. so, i am focusing on completing unfinished works. and, then i am going to be doing something else with the rest of my life.
Tuesday, April 12, 2016
i don't actually know what i swallowed, but i was wide awake all night after son lux
generally, the shorter the review, the better the show was. son lux are probably the most important band in existence right now, so to say they are a known entity is an understatement. and, they are absolutely essential to experience at every opportunity.
the venue was a block from the tunnel, so it wasn't much of an adventure. but i ended up swallowing something at the show that caused me some grief, and i need to blame myself for being haphazard with my safety. that shouldn't have happened at all. it's best to follow my vlogs for the next couple of days to get the follow up on that.
the opening band (dawn of midi) was very tight minimalism that would have been far more effective if it was about 30% shorter. it was very much built on top of the work of steve reich, but was very reminiscent of a record released in the 90s called "reich remixed". but, because it was centered so squarely on the drums/bass combo, there were also strong references to minimalist strains of prog (like king crimson). as mentioned, it was just a little too long, but i think that had a lot to do with the standing-room-and-watching setting, too. it would have been better suited for something like a lounge atmosphere, or perhaps as background music for math homework.
==
here is a full set:
and, of course, the day's vlog:
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2016/04/04.html
the venue was a block from the tunnel, so it wasn't much of an adventure. but i ended up swallowing something at the show that caused me some grief, and i need to blame myself for being haphazard with my safety. that shouldn't have happened at all. it's best to follow my vlogs for the next couple of days to get the follow up on that.
the opening band (dawn of midi) was very tight minimalism that would have been far more effective if it was about 30% shorter. it was very much built on top of the work of steve reich, but was very reminiscent of a record released in the 90s called "reich remixed". but, because it was centered so squarely on the drums/bass combo, there were also strong references to minimalist strains of prog (like king crimson). as mentioned, it was just a little too long, but i think that had a lot to do with the standing-room-and-watching setting, too. it would have been better suited for something like a lounge atmosphere, or perhaps as background music for math homework.
==
here is a full set:
and, of course, the day's vlog:
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2016/04/04.html
Monday, April 11, 2016
Sunday, April 10, 2016
Thursday, April 7, 2016
of unwanted dogs and media-fueled paranoia
jessica
it seems as though i've been able to avoid the dogs in the apartment for the night. to be clear: my opposition is that i don't want strange animals parading through here. i would not oppose a human inspector.
that said, i understand that i cannot stall forever. so, i will have to allow the inspection, should cooler heads not prevail. just allow me to quickly make the following points, both to attempt to persuade you to halt and to make clear where i stand should the dog track anything in.
1. there are no bed bugs in the unit.
2. bed bugs are not like roaches or air-borne pathogens. they must be carried from place to place.
3. a detector dog is a perfect transmission vehicle. it actively seeks them out, thereby volunteering itself as a ship from them to sail on.
4. it is consequently dangerous and irrational to allow a detector dog to move through the unit. there are no bugs in the unit now. there may be by the time it's done.
so, if you insist, i cannot stop you - i can only stall the process, in hopes that whatever media-fueled hysteria behind this comes to pass. but, should the dog "find" anything, i will legally argue to the maximum extent of my ability that it was the dog, itself, that brought them in.
there are no bed bugs in this unit.
the landlord
Jessica, I have become aware of the situation and I know my brother does not have good judgment or thinks things through. I will be around as soon as I can. Please wait till I get there. I have told my brother to find a bug for proof and not be so stupid to believe a bug smelling dog! I believe there are no bed bugs at this point.
it seems as though i've been able to avoid the dogs in the apartment for the night. to be clear: my opposition is that i don't want strange animals parading through here. i would not oppose a human inspector.
that said, i understand that i cannot stall forever. so, i will have to allow the inspection, should cooler heads not prevail. just allow me to quickly make the following points, both to attempt to persuade you to halt and to make clear where i stand should the dog track anything in.
1. there are no bed bugs in the unit.
2. bed bugs are not like roaches or air-borne pathogens. they must be carried from place to place.
3. a detector dog is a perfect transmission vehicle. it actively seeks them out, thereby volunteering itself as a ship from them to sail on.
4. it is consequently dangerous and irrational to allow a detector dog to move through the unit. there are no bugs in the unit now. there may be by the time it's done.
so, if you insist, i cannot stop you - i can only stall the process, in hopes that whatever media-fueled hysteria behind this comes to pass. but, should the dog "find" anything, i will legally argue to the maximum extent of my ability that it was the dog, itself, that brought them in.
there are no bed bugs in this unit.
the landlord
Jessica, I have become aware of the situation and I know my brother does not have good judgment or thinks things through. I will be around as soon as I can. Please wait till I get there. I have told my brother to find a bug for proof and not be so stupid to believe a bug smelling dog! I believe there are no bed bugs at this point.
Tuesday, April 5, 2016
03/04-04-2016: before and after son lux
concert footage:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JovyZbjJIlI
review:
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2016/04/04.html
tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JovyZbjJIlI
review:
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2016/04/04.html
tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1
i've set the 10th for my shut down deadline. that's three months since i quit smoking - and i've held to this. so, again: every other annoyance aside, that's something that i'm happy that i got done. just about anything is worth that. i can talk about wishing i had prioritized it earlier, but i just got tired of putting it off.
it will take a few days after the tenth to get rolling again. but, there will be some more completions before the end of april.
again: i quit smoking. for real. i had to turn my brain off for a few months to do that. it's led to low productivity while i normalized myself, but you should really congratulate me for it.
in the meantime,this is what i've been doing....
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCinQSeEtF0vSN1XVhQGfwKA
it will take a few days after the tenth to get rolling again. but, there will be some more completions before the end of april.
again: i quit smoking. for real. i had to turn my brain off for a few months to do that. it's led to low productivity while i normalized myself, but you should really congratulate me for it.
in the meantime,this is what i've been doing....
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCinQSeEtF0vSN1XVhQGfwKA
Friday, April 1, 2016
31-03-2016: out dancing all night...
review:
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2016/03/31.html
tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2016/03/31.html
tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1
Sunday, March 27, 2016
furnace is leaking... (update)
the drip seems to be around the seal, rather than in the plastic - it was just accumulating on the plastic.
i have taped over the area. i know that this defeats the purpose of the drainage, but my prerogative is in keeping the water off of the floor. and, i suspect that the issue is upstairs, anyways.
i'm going to guess that the seal probably needs to be recaulked. but that the issue is probably really in the furnace.
j
i have taped over the area. i know that this defeats the purpose of the drainage, but my prerogative is in keeping the water off of the floor. and, i suspect that the issue is upstairs, anyways.
i'm going to guess that the seal probably needs to be recaulked. but that the issue is probably really in the furnace.
j
Friday, March 25, 2016
j reacts to (specious) accusations of nihilism
and, i
want to be clear about something: i am not a nihilist. i am an atheist
and a secular humanist. i believe i've actually argued very strenuously against
moral relativism and very strenuously against subjectivity in art. i
believe in the objective reality of a world determined via scientific inquiry.
there is no god in this world, but there are plenty of things that are true. in
fact, i would argue that the truth value of the statement there is no god
is true. that is, itself, a truth. i am a positivist. i believe truth is
obtainable - and that one of those truths is that there is no guiding force in
the universe.
but, i haven't been through this here. not exactly. bits and pieces.
the problem is the way the discussion is framed, to assume various things for granted. i am an anarchist; i reject hobbes. i do not believe that people need the threat of god, or the threat of some sovereign, to fall in line and behave. rather, i think that religion and authoritarianism are corrupting forces. we are not evil in despite of the state but because of it. the collapse of the state would bring us back to a "natural condition" of mutual aid and reciprocal altruism. this is not because we have a selfless nature, it is because altruism and rational self-interest are equivalent, when fully understood.
watch this, it's in the name of general education:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kWuR9Rzzlo
what that actually means is that i think that nietzsche is just a tempest in a teapot, because i reject the assumptions he was working under in the first place. understanding the obvious truth that there is no god will not collapse society, but allow it to reach it's next stage of development. nihilists should consequently be seen as reactionaries that seek to uphold the status quo - at best. at worst, they end up as straussian neocons like hillary clinton and want to take us back into the dark ages.
there is a certain line of thinking that ends with nietzsche, but it was a stupid line of reasoning that was in opposition to the real movements of enlightened thinking, anyways. his supposed crisis was resolved by aquinas, who was himself just quoting aristotle. what you see in his writings is a fool coming to terms with the idiocy of his systems of thought. but, only fools would have ever walked down that path in the first place. this is centuries after galileo!
so, i don't think that nihilism presents us with any sort of a real problem. but, if we want to be stuck in this foolish historical narrative? a very obvious and completely satisfactory solution immediately presents itself in secular humanism. and, there is consequently really no reason to take note of the man or his writings at all. he should be forgotten. instead, we should remember the line of thinking that takes us from aristotle, through aquinas and ends with comte.
but, i haven't been through this here. not exactly. bits and pieces.
the problem is the way the discussion is framed, to assume various things for granted. i am an anarchist; i reject hobbes. i do not believe that people need the threat of god, or the threat of some sovereign, to fall in line and behave. rather, i think that religion and authoritarianism are corrupting forces. we are not evil in despite of the state but because of it. the collapse of the state would bring us back to a "natural condition" of mutual aid and reciprocal altruism. this is not because we have a selfless nature, it is because altruism and rational self-interest are equivalent, when fully understood.
watch this, it's in the name of general education:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kWuR9Rzzlo
what that actually means is that i think that nietzsche is just a tempest in a teapot, because i reject the assumptions he was working under in the first place. understanding the obvious truth that there is no god will not collapse society, but allow it to reach it's next stage of development. nihilists should consequently be seen as reactionaries that seek to uphold the status quo - at best. at worst, they end up as straussian neocons like hillary clinton and want to take us back into the dark ages.
there is a certain line of thinking that ends with nietzsche, but it was a stupid line of reasoning that was in opposition to the real movements of enlightened thinking, anyways. his supposed crisis was resolved by aquinas, who was himself just quoting aristotle. what you see in his writings is a fool coming to terms with the idiocy of his systems of thought. but, only fools would have ever walked down that path in the first place. this is centuries after galileo!
so, i don't think that nihilism presents us with any sort of a real problem. but, if we want to be stuck in this foolish historical narrative? a very obvious and completely satisfactory solution immediately presents itself in secular humanism. and, there is consequently really no reason to take note of the man or his writings at all. he should be forgotten. instead, we should remember the line of thinking that takes us from aristotle, through aquinas and ends with comte.
dodging the pungent emissions of sewer gas in the detroit spring, on the way to stargaze at lillies in detroit
a cold and warm front were colliding over detroit on this evening, and it was that time of the year where the ten degree drop can mark the difference between spring and winter. while it was the proper background for this type of music, trying to figure out the timing of the collision and how to navigate it caused me havoc all day. the shifting weather forecasts did not help much; i was trying to plan within the margin of error.
--
the warm front seemed to linger a little longer than was forecast, which led me to overheat on the way to the show. i had planned to walk in single digit temperatures through a north wind and low humidity; i got double digit temperatures through a south wind and high humidity. had i worn any makeup, it would have melted off by the time i got there - so i at least made that choice correctly.
--
dark red are a two piece drums/bass combo, but i want to stress that they weren't really what you'd expect with a drums/bass combo in 2016. the bass functioned as a guitar, but it was actually a very slow-moving kind of almost doom rock sound. and, he was able to get enough harmonic complexity out of the combination of things to give it a gazey feel. the culmination was a kind of grassroots grunge sound, in the way the term was initially constructed. this is going to be quite the acquired taste - at the end of the day, it really reduces largely to a very fuzzy bass throwing layered walls of distortion at you. so, i have to caveat it by saying that the idea is a little bit stale. but, if this is something you have a taste for, it was done fairly well. it's all in the tone, really, right - it doesn't really matter what else is happening, so long as you get a thick enough tone.
the stargazer lilies seem to be touring their new record, but they haven't released it yet. i'm only familiar with the first record, so i may have been tricked - they may have played older material i don't know. but, i think that around half the set was new material. the newer material seemed to be a little grittier, and a little less focused on melody - which is a shame, because that's what drew my attention to this disc. see, it's not much of a feat nowadays to string a rack of effects together and staccato out to nowhere; rather, the abundance of acts doing this since the early 90s has kind of blurred it all together into a stale cliche. time has just made the situation worse. it's become very formulaic and really rather boring. what's been lost in the rush to total atmosphere over musical content is that the genre was initially built on overlapping harmonies. whether you want to cite the cocteau twins or mbv or the cure or whatever else, this genre shines when it is music with counterpoint and harmonization and 13th chords and other fun things of the sort - and falls apart when it's just some more boring I-IV-V folk tones, run through a flanger or not. what pulled me into the record was the greater level of musical literacy. it's not just a wall of sound, it's a very musical wall of sound. the newer material seemed to take a step back from that in favour of generic shoegazer contrivances, but i'll withhold judgement until the record comes out.
that may come off harsher than intended. see, i wouldn't go out of my way to see sounds-like-every-other-sheogaze-band on a blicky march night. but, if i happened to find myself in front of one, i wouldn't complain about it either. i recognized about half the set, and enjoyed what i recognized more than what i didn't, but the truth is that the last record set a high bar. it was an enjoyable head cave, either way.
here is a full set:
the trip home was horrific. it initially seemed like i was making excellent time (the show was done before 11:00), but i ended up getting stuck at the bus stop with a horde of drunken frat boys on their way home from a hockey game. worse, the bus missed it's route (the driver claimed it got stuck in the tunnel, and i'm suspecting it had to do with increased security from the attacks in belgium). so, it turned into having to listen to these idiots throw homophobic slurs at each other for almost two hours.
they kept calling cabs down, and the cabs kept refusing to take them because they just wouldn't shut up. it's probably a lot of repressed homosexual desires, and i get that, but it's just really annoying to listen to. one minute, they're yelling at somebody to suck their cock; the next, they're calling each other faggots.
it's not as though i'm offended by the language - i don't care, really. it's more that i'm offended by the stupidity. when i find myself in these situations, i just want to snap my finger and have them cease to exist - or perhaps click my heels and transport home.
even worse is when they want to talk to you. everything is a competition, right, so they're constantly trying to start a debate and win it. it's never about the discussion. it's always about winning and losing. this one buffoon was unable to differentiate nihilism from atheism. if i didn't believe in god, i therefore couldn't believe in anything else. and, he just wouldn't drop the strawman. he had to win. so, you have to let him, to avoid losing brain cells in the resulting discussion - and then hope he goes away. thankfully, there was a beer waiting for him down the road.
then, they expected me to get into a cab with them. right. like i'm going to risk going through customs with these idiots. you can't just explain to the border guards that you took the cab with them but don't know them; that's not how that works. when they did finally leave, though, the serenity that followed was almost overwhelming.
here is the vlog for the day:
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2016/03/24.html
--
the warm front seemed to linger a little longer than was forecast, which led me to overheat on the way to the show. i had planned to walk in single digit temperatures through a north wind and low humidity; i got double digit temperatures through a south wind and high humidity. had i worn any makeup, it would have melted off by the time i got there - so i at least made that choice correctly.
--
dark red are a two piece drums/bass combo, but i want to stress that they weren't really what you'd expect with a drums/bass combo in 2016. the bass functioned as a guitar, but it was actually a very slow-moving kind of almost doom rock sound. and, he was able to get enough harmonic complexity out of the combination of things to give it a gazey feel. the culmination was a kind of grassroots grunge sound, in the way the term was initially constructed. this is going to be quite the acquired taste - at the end of the day, it really reduces largely to a very fuzzy bass throwing layered walls of distortion at you. so, i have to caveat it by saying that the idea is a little bit stale. but, if this is something you have a taste for, it was done fairly well. it's all in the tone, really, right - it doesn't really matter what else is happening, so long as you get a thick enough tone.
the stargazer lilies seem to be touring their new record, but they haven't released it yet. i'm only familiar with the first record, so i may have been tricked - they may have played older material i don't know. but, i think that around half the set was new material. the newer material seemed to be a little grittier, and a little less focused on melody - which is a shame, because that's what drew my attention to this disc. see, it's not much of a feat nowadays to string a rack of effects together and staccato out to nowhere; rather, the abundance of acts doing this since the early 90s has kind of blurred it all together into a stale cliche. time has just made the situation worse. it's become very formulaic and really rather boring. what's been lost in the rush to total atmosphere over musical content is that the genre was initially built on overlapping harmonies. whether you want to cite the cocteau twins or mbv or the cure or whatever else, this genre shines when it is music with counterpoint and harmonization and 13th chords and other fun things of the sort - and falls apart when it's just some more boring I-IV-V folk tones, run through a flanger or not. what pulled me into the record was the greater level of musical literacy. it's not just a wall of sound, it's a very musical wall of sound. the newer material seemed to take a step back from that in favour of generic shoegazer contrivances, but i'll withhold judgement until the record comes out.
that may come off harsher than intended. see, i wouldn't go out of my way to see sounds-like-every-other-sheogaze-band on a blicky march night. but, if i happened to find myself in front of one, i wouldn't complain about it either. i recognized about half the set, and enjoyed what i recognized more than what i didn't, but the truth is that the last record set a high bar. it was an enjoyable head cave, either way.
here is a full set:
the trip home was horrific. it initially seemed like i was making excellent time (the show was done before 11:00), but i ended up getting stuck at the bus stop with a horde of drunken frat boys on their way home from a hockey game. worse, the bus missed it's route (the driver claimed it got stuck in the tunnel, and i'm suspecting it had to do with increased security from the attacks in belgium). so, it turned into having to listen to these idiots throw homophobic slurs at each other for almost two hours.
they kept calling cabs down, and the cabs kept refusing to take them because they just wouldn't shut up. it's probably a lot of repressed homosexual desires, and i get that, but it's just really annoying to listen to. one minute, they're yelling at somebody to suck their cock; the next, they're calling each other faggots.
it's not as though i'm offended by the language - i don't care, really. it's more that i'm offended by the stupidity. when i find myself in these situations, i just want to snap my finger and have them cease to exist - or perhaps click my heels and transport home.
even worse is when they want to talk to you. everything is a competition, right, so they're constantly trying to start a debate and win it. it's never about the discussion. it's always about winning and losing. this one buffoon was unable to differentiate nihilism from atheism. if i didn't believe in god, i therefore couldn't believe in anything else. and, he just wouldn't drop the strawman. he had to win. so, you have to let him, to avoid losing brain cells in the resulting discussion - and then hope he goes away. thankfully, there was a beer waiting for him down the road.
then, they expected me to get into a cab with them. right. like i'm going to risk going through customs with these idiots. you can't just explain to the border guards that you took the cab with them but don't know them; that's not how that works. when they did finally leave, though, the serenity that followed was almost overwhelming.
here is the vlog for the day:
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2016/03/24.html
furnace is leaking...
hi.
the drip was forming at the corner. i've just taped it over. hopefully that's good enough. i don't know if the drip was coming out of the corner or just rolling down towards it. my concern is just keeping the water off the floor, so if that doesn't work then i'll tape the connector over. but i think i have the responsibility to inform you.
i still don't have a phone. i've lived long enough without one that i've learned how to exist without one, and decided it's more of a luxury than a necessity. and given that it is essentially a government spying device, i've actually decided that i even actively don't want one.
so, i know you're transferring ownership. let me know if there's a better email address to use.
but, yeah. it's dripping. slowly. it seems like the plastic cracked. but it may be the seal, too.
j
the drip was forming at the corner. i've just taped it over. hopefully that's good enough. i don't know if the drip was coming out of the corner or just rolling down towards it. my concern is just keeping the water off the floor, so if that doesn't work then i'll tape the connector over. but i think i have the responsibility to inform you.
i still don't have a phone. i've lived long enough without one that i've learned how to exist without one, and decided it's more of a luxury than a necessity. and given that it is essentially a government spying device, i've actually decided that i even actively don't want one.
so, i know you're transferring ownership. let me know if there's a better email address to use.
but, yeah. it's dripping. slowly. it seems like the plastic cracked. but it may be the seal, too.
j
24-03-2016: fighting the weather, obnoxious jocks & the police state to catch the stargazer lilies in detroit
concert footage:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ihjxbf0htWo
review:
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2016/03/24.html
tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ihjxbf0htWo
review:
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2016/03/24.html
tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1
Tuesday, March 22, 2016
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)