my records going back to 1996 are not perfect, but, then again, i've been over this before: who has digital records from 1996? the oldest cd list i can find is from 2002. there are records in archives somewhere that are older than this...if i can find them...

but, here is what i can reconstruct.

now, note that this is going to necessarily be mildly revisionist, in the sense that i didn't buy every cd on the day it came out. some of it, i know i did - like the i mother earth disc, or the nin disc. but i didn't get into stuff like labradford or tortoise until 98 or 99. i can remember exactly when i got into labradford - i saw them open for gybe! on the slow riot tour, which was the spring of '99. tortoise is a little more blurry. i remember getting standards on the release date.

the point is that this is going to have to be approximate, whether i like it or not. although, there is a possibility that it could get very, very accurate starting about mid '97, if i can get to those archives.

i don't get online until mid '97 or so, and there's going to be a big gap over that period. i'm comfortable waiting until i get there before i start looking for usenet and listserv archives.

but, we can see where i'm going with this quite clearly. my first post is going to no doubt be about enjoying the new soundgarden record, down on the upside.

hard-headed, fuck you all.
just add it all
to the hot rod death toll.

that mandolin solo, though.

the page will be up soonish.

download  microscopic  1996  ep  jan 9, 1996
radiohead  street spirit  1996  single  jan 22, 1996
limblifter llimblifter  1996  lp  jan 23, 1996
stabbing westward  wither, blister, burn + peel  1996  lp  jan 23rd
the smashing pumpkins  1979  1996  ep  jan 26th
tortoise  millions now living will never die  1996  lp  jan 30
econoline crush  affliction  1996  lp  feb 20
skinny puppy  brap  1996  2xlp  feb 27
the process  1996  lp
charlie's family  1996  lp
gravity kills  gravity kills  1996  lp  mar 5
the smashing pumpkins  1979 mixes  1996  ep  mar 12th
stp  tiny music  1996  ep  mar 26
the tea party  alhambra  1996  ep  mar ?
the smashing pumpkins  tonight, tonight  1996  ep  apr 15
man or astroman?  experiment zero  1996  lp  april 16th
the smashing pumpkins  zero  1996  ep  apr 23
download  sidewinder  1996  ep  april 30, 1996
soundgarden  down on the upside  1996  lp  may 21

***********

download  the eyes of stanley pain  1996  lp  may 28th
nine inch nails  quake soundtrack  1996  lp  june 22
kmfdm  xtort  1996  lp  june 25th
sponge  wax ecstatic  1996  lp  july 2nd
i mother earth  scenery and fish  1996  lp  july 9th
ost  escape from l.a.  1996  lp  july 15
alice in chians  unplugged  1996  lp  july 30
various (charity)  sweet relief ii  1996  lp  aug 6
rhcp  coffee shop  1995  single  aug 12
white zombie  supersexy swingin' sounds  1996  lp  aug 15th
foetus  boil  1996  lp  aug 20
pearl jam  no code  1996  lp  aug 27th
rem  e-bow the letter  1996  ep  aug 27th
rem  new adventures in hifi  1996  lp  sept 9
the smashing pumpkins live at the corel centre in ottawa  sept 13
tool  aenima  1996  lp  sept 17
moby  animal rights  1996  lp  sept 23rd
weezer  pinkerton  1996  lp  sept 24
the tear garden  to be an angel blind, the crippled soul divide  1996  lp  oct 1
garbage  milk  1996  single  oct 7
korn  life is peachy  1996  lp  oct 15th
swans  soundtracks for the blind  1996  2xlp  oct 22
bjork  possibly maybe  1996  single  oct 28
garbage  #1 crush  1996  single  oct 29
aphex twin  rdj album  1996  lp  nov 4
james gorner / billy corgan  ransom  1996  lp  nov 5
the smashing pumpkins  33  1996  ep  nov 11
bowery electric  beat  1996  lp  nov 12
labradford  labradford  1996  lp  nov 12th
barenaked ladies  rock spectacle  1996  ep  nov 19, 1996
bush  razorblade suitcase  1996  lp  nov 19, 1996
our lady peace  superman's dead  1996  single  dec 16, 1996
the offspring  all i want  1996  single  dec 31, 1996

20-05-2016: consolidating archives (and ranting...)

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

i'm still running late on everything, but i should legitimately start building the alter-reality (as in, creating new profiles) either tonight or tomorrow.

i just need to reiterate: i can see the alter-reality, but the alter-reality cannot see me. and, i will be absolutely ruthless in mass blocking anybody that tries to fuck with this.

that said, there will not be large-scale interaction with the alter-reality, either, like there was previously. i'm spinning this off and letting it float on it's own. so, if you're interested in this, please follow it on it's own terms.

it is currently may 20, 1996 in the alter-reality. serious posting will start by july 1, 1996 - at the latest. the alter-reality will have it's own bandcamp, youtube, facebook and appspot spaces. it is those links that will be posted here by the end of the weekend, probably.

19-05-2016: exploring southwest detroit in the day and the night (to see chelsea wolfe)

show footage:
https://www.youtube.com/embed/kOp6AxyO6g8?list=PLrHImg7oLm2aa6hPQlp4A8E8FjYuYnm2t

review:
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2016/05/19.html

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

i was dreaming this morning. and, in case you're curious....

the truth is that i'm actually very content with the life that i live right now. it would be nice if disability could be a bit more, but i'm actually not complaining - there's really no point you could set it at where it wouldn't be nice if it were a bit more. i'm truly well fed and consider myself to have a very high quality of life.

so, if i were to do it all over again, what would i do? well, i'd be moving towards getting to where i am today faster, not trying to get to somewhere else. that may have meant applying for disability at a younger age. or, perhaps i may have focused on investment.

if i had the advantage of foresight, i would have probably studied finance and then not spent the time afterwards working but trying to rip people off on the various markets, until i could approximate the lifestyle i have now. it might mean $3000/month off dividends rather than $1000/month off government assistance. but, that actually doesn't really scale into a substantial difference. less walking, more cabs. more pizza, maybe? buying software instead of pirating it?

i just get the impression sometimes that people think i expected more out of myself. but, what that really means is that they weren't actually listening to what i was saying. i was never about winning the game; i was always about trying to get out of the obligation of having to play it. that's my conception of freedom: walking away.

seasons 001-006 (bd-1) [introducing myself]

06. trying to move forward, but just can't stay awake... (dvd 6)

18-05-2016: sorting through old email (ending season 6, starting the summer)

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

another short night out in windsor to see a distant canadian act stumbling through town

this was another show without a backstory; i left the house at 9:30 and was home by 12:30, not stopping anywhere or interacting with anybody in the process. the venue was actually at capacity for the show, due to the fact that a local band was having an ep release. i did not stay for the ep release. this was actually partly out of altruism; i was the last person they let in, and thought it would be more appropriate to let somebody in from outside that really wanted to be there. but, it was also partly due to disinterest, of course.

i was actually expecting basic nature to play first, but i did end up sitting through an opening set that was some kind of generic white blues. it's the kind of thing that a certain kind of aging white dude may identify with, but i didn't get much from it. it was neither as raw as the white stripes nor as jaded as the hip, and consequently didn't really excel at much of anything. but, it's actually the kind of empty drinking music that goes over well in this venue on off nights.

the basic nature set was quite strong, even if they lost most of the audience throughout it. i said most; they captured a subset, and kept it. i'm pointing this out because they played just a little too quietly to get their effect across. it's no doubt on some level a consequence of being nice polite young women from the western canadian tundra, and that's stated as more truth than empty stereotype, and there's even a certain aspect of their sound that kind of demands they play with a softer touch. yet, acknowledging this truth, there is also a part of what they do that needs a hefty roar of fuzz and reverb to cut through and drown out the chatter. perhaps they simply weren't used to playing in front of crowds. ok. but, the takeaway from the set is that you don't shush a bar, like they tried to - rather, you turn up and drown them out.

ignoring the volume issue, it was a solid set that accurately reflected the recorded material. other things to note include sporadic use of a saxophone player and a cover of a filter song (take a picture). i happen to have been a big fan of their previous record in high school (short bus), which was seen at the time as a nine inch nails side project, so that was a pleasant surprise.

it's worth the $5 if you like the style. they're not really doing anything novel, but they're colouring inside the lines far better than most neo-gaze acts that i've heard over the last few years.

here's a track from their set:

& here's the vlog for the day:

http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2016/05/14.html

season 6

whatever

i enjoy pile, and have seen them a couple of times, but i couldn't really identify track names. this does sound familiar, put pile kind of have two settings - overdrive and alt country. so, the fact that it sounds familiar doesn't necessarily mean it's an old song. if somebody can correct me then do so, but i do believe it's a new track.

please see the comments for a review. this was a festival show and a long day for music, with around ten bands to review.

this was my path through the day:

scripps park:
Virginia Violet & The Rays (very end)
ambesaw  [this was chill]
Flowers Bloom [very end]
Devinition  [this was hilarious]
Blakdog  [this was a little face melting, i enjoyed this]
Bronze Mambas  [dude needs a fat strat]
Indigo Black [didn't stay long....]
martez (second half)
market [about half - and i did dance]
the errers [most, and enjoyed it]
pile

phog, in windsor:
bad channels
zones

==

so, i'm writing this review a week after the fact after hoping that a specific site would upload footage from the event that would help jog my memory a little. unfortunately, that site seems to have skipped out on precisely the shows that i attended, so i'm not going to have that resource.

full day shows like this can be a little daunting to narrate, and i was far from sober throughout the day. but, let's see what i can get out. remember: this is merely my experience of the day. ymmv regarding my opinions of the various sets.

--

i was late out of the door, and only really regret it on principle. i would have even been perfectly happy to just show up at 9:00 for pile. but, my logic was that a nice day in the park is worth experiencing - partially for inebriation purposes. so, i was planning to get there for 1:00, but slept in and didn't arrive until close to 5:00. in hindsight, both statements are true: (1) i didn't bring enough alcohol for the whole day and (2) i probably wouldn't have made it through the whole day, if i had.

--

the band that was playing when i got in to the park was virginia and the violet rays, which was a kind of a horn band. i only caught the last few minutes and wasn't really paying attention but it struck me as a literal throwback - a novelty act, really. they may have even been playing standards, or mildly altered standards.

i spent the first half hour or so walking around between the electronic tent [ambesaw] and the rock tent [gray bliss], looking specifically for a specific odour - which was eventually found near the electronic tent in the form of a target delivery apparatus of proportions rarely seen outside 4/20. see, i have to admit that i feel no shame in putting through requests for wealth redistribution when i see somebody with a quantity that could knock a horse over - and i exaggerate only mildly. that's a party platter, my friend - you can't have that all to yourself. you'll hurt yourself, even. i'm doing you a favour. so, we had a pleasant conversation about the quality and "treeishness" of our shared delicacy, while enjoying the act, before i got up to place my empty can in the recycle bin, and faded back into the rock tent for a while.

the music coming out of the electronic tent during my stay there was mostly instrumental hip-hop, of a mildly orchestral and slow motion nature. this is a sound that seems to be trending in hip-hop circles, although i can offer no expertise on the topic. it was legitimately a chill vibe, and a good soundtrack for the moment.

--

the band that was playing when i got back to the rock tent was flowers bloom, and i can in fact be seen transiting if you look at the top right of the following video (@1:15-1:30):

i only caught a few minutes of this act and simply don't have any defined memories of them.

--

i have much clearer memories of devinition, a white rapper that came on and just made me laugh very hard. it no doubt had something to do with my experience over at the electronic tent, but it was built on a legitimate level of accidental self-parody. see, he wasn't really sure if he wanted to be tough like eminem or if he wanted to hit some kind of a beyond cliched hallmark/disney moment. it was partly the juxtaposition that cracked me up, and partly the hokeyness of it, but i was really literally doubled over in uncontrollable fits for a substantial proportion of the set. the peak of hilarity ensued over the following line:

"life is not the same since you've been gone",

which was sung off-key over a sample of a plucked classical guitar that sounded something sort of like "it's a small world after all". i was actually still laughing well into the next set; every time i thought about, it set me off again. in fact, i'm still giggling as i type this up.

--

blakdog, clearly named after the zeppelin tune, were up next - and actually started while devinition was still speaking, indicating the set had gone a little long. i should point out that a part of the hilarity was that he seemed to have a substantial media presence filming and photographing him, although i can't find any of it at the moment.

they weren't doing anything particularly novel, and likely weren't aspiring to, either. however, i managed to find a sweet spot near the front of the stage where the distortion was perfectly saturated. my subsequent enjoyment of the set was really purely on terms of guitar tone geekery, combined with being pleasantly baked - a sweet fuzz pedal through a tube amp can do that to you, if you have ears that can pick it out.

while it may seem sort of trite, the fact is that this was the exact experience i was seeking for the afternoon - floored guitar effects coming at me at high volume, while in an inebriated state. this is when i'm most content. so, i dug the face melt - but only after i found the sweet spot, where the harmonics were appropriately fucked

--

at first, bronze mambas seemed to be carrying on the psych rock vibe, but it quickly became apparent that they just didn't have the roar that they needed. see, the guitarist kept jumping back and forth between a strat sound and a paul sound. the singer was doing some kind of cedric blixler thing, which made it a little more apparent where they were coming from with the latin vibe. but, he didn't seem to know if he wanted to be santana or page, frusciante or thayil. in some ways, that's fine - a little flexibility is a virtue. but, his guitar was set up solely for his strat sound, which just killed the bottom end when he needed it.

now, i need to be clear - his strat actually sounded outstanding, when he wanted it to sound like a strat. it's when he obviously wanted his strat to sound like a paul that the only thing that actually got through was a wall of high end static.

i had a talk with him after, because he really needs to address it if he wants to be taken seriously. like, immediately. he can't possibly go on like this. it's a travesty. what i wanted to get across was that the issue wasn't too much treble. i mean, his strat sounded great. it really did. what he needed was a way to get a thicker fuzz when it was required.

so, i strongly suggested that he look into a fat strat, and i hope he does. it could convert a band that obviously has quite a bit of potential out of a sound spectrum catastrophe and into the real thing.

in hindsight, there is a second option - get a second guitarist, and make sure that person is playing with thicker pickups. whatever it is, he needs to find a way to thicken his sound when he needs to without losing his nice strat tone when he needs it, too.

i found some footage of the set:

 

the next few acts at the rock stage were hip-hop acts, and so i found myself more attracted to the electronic stage - and managed to get in on a pass as it came around to me, once i got there. i was present for at least a few minutes of all the acts that came on next, on all the stages, but the only one i have any real memory of is market. i actually caught the start of market's set, and stayed for most of it. it was a largely ambient/idm set that found itself periodically building into more traditional techno - which allowed for the opportunity to dance. and, dance, i did. but, i must also acknowledge that the set is a little hazy. as with the distorted guitar harmonics, though, what one wants is a hazy electronic set.

i didn't bring a clock with me, and didn't think the event was on time, anyways. so, i had to go back a few times to make sure i wasn't missing pile - which is why i caught bits of everything. i do think the electronic set was mostly on time, so the fact that i was able to catch most of market's set meant i was back at the rock tent very close to 9:00, to catch most of the 8:30 act.

i couldn't find footage, but market does have a bandcamp site:
https://marketdetroit.bandcamp.com/

--

so, i caught most of the erers, who were sufficiently raucous at the time to be enjoyable, but, overall, a little boneheaded for my tastes. i've been over this before with some other acts: it was a nice head cave, but it kind of only works in that precise context. and, frankly, *in* that context it doesn't even matter what you're playing - it's just all about the guitar tone.

i did enjoy it, but what i was thinking through the whole set was that i was really mostly hanging around so i didn't miss the start of the pile set. the other thing i remember about the set was that it was starting to get kind of cold out....

a good part of their set is up here:

pile were what they have been every other time i've seen them - loud, obnoxious and kind of ironically stupid, in a pretty smart way. that's pile. and, i got what i came for.

unfortunately, the set lost a few minutes due to a blackout, which i pick up in the vlog. besides that misstep, it was about what one expects from pile. which is what is actually in the video....

here is a full set from pile:

i wasn't sure if i was going to stay for the idiot kids or not; i figured that if somebody cancelled and things got pushed up then i probably would but was largely planning on skipping them. you also never know what the atmosphere is going to be like when you hit a show like this, or how long you want to stay. i could have been convinced to stay until midnight, if it felt right. it was clear on this night that the place was clearing out. and, while i hadn't brought a clock, i knew it was later than 9:30 (it was actually after 10:00). the real driver, though, was that i was just starting to get a little bit cold.

i warmed up as i was moving, but i do think i made the right choice to leave a little early. i didn't hear anything really interesting on their bandcamp, and the footage i tracked down wasn't particularly compelling.

the event organizers had an after party lined up on the other side of downtown, but i was more interested in catching the bus over early enough to get to a sort of a psychedelic/coldwave show in windsor. the optimistic plan was that if i could get out right at 9:30, i could be back in windsor by 10:30 and probably catch all three bands. as it happened, i got to the bus stop at about 10:45 and into phog around 11:30.

--

the bands that were playing at phog were called zones & bad channels, but i have to admit that i have no clear recollection of either of them - or which order they played in. i was actually mostly hoping to catch the first act, learning, and seem to have read the bill backwards, expecting them to play last (or maybe my logic centers were just broken that night - it does happen). what i remember about the show is consequently actually sitting and waiting for a band that had finished their set before i got there. that's ok - they're local, i'll get another chance.

i do recall that one of the bands had a guitarist and seemed to be having fun jamming over a sequencer; i remember thinking it was a little repetitive at points, and wasn't really accomplishing anything. i think this was "zones". the other band was more interesting, as it featured a live vocalist and a bit of an industrial/goth kind of feel to it [maybe the kids want to use terms that end with house or wave. whatever.]. they did quite the cover of frozen, by madonna, actually. could have and probably should have been a bit spookier, though. i think this was "bad channels".

--

i was surprisingly awake when i hit the 7/11 to get some doritos for some nachos, if not really particularly sober. i suppose that's the combined effect of caffeine, guarana, alcohol, nicotine and thc. see, here's the thing: it's actually exactly where you want to be after ten hours of drinking and smoking various things. significantly damaged, but absolutely wired. the other option is passing out when you get home, and that always sucks as you end up wasting half your intoxicants. it's the caffeine that's key. i do highly recommend ensuring you remain caffeinated when you're drinking. it's a lot more fun.

i finished the night off by watching a stiglitz lecture, and greatly enjoying the clarity of his logic. krugman does make some good points about how the most sparkling logic is not always upheld by the data, but i wasn't having any of that at the moment - i was just enjoying the clarity of thought in the dismantling of classical assumptions.

here is the vlog for the day:

http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2016/05/07.html

14-05-2016: taking time between unwanted naps to see basic nature in windsor

concert footage:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmTDg-hSLHA

review:
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2016/05/14.html

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

i seem to be getting lots of likes on j^2.

the last few days have been weird. but i do plan on getting something done today.

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=10153219866957114&id=41134747113

a quick walk to phog and back to see an indie rock band from calgary

i really do not have a review for this show; it was an 11:00 show and i was only really out of the house between 10:30 and 12:00.

i will say that they played some new material and it is a continuation of their previous record, rather than a repudiation of it. i will also say that what i captured is a b-side that is a little more radio-friendly than their record, which leans more towards a late 90s radiohead sound.

it's worth the $5, if you get the chance. the bar seemed to like it, anyways.

here is the set:

here is the vlog for the day:

http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2016/05/10.html

10-05-2016: boreal sons, west virginia & an unexpected early crash

concert footage:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfGU586YyVY

review:
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2016/05/10.html

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

a rare night out in windsor to see a catchy punk band, and consequences of it

this was the first show i had hit in a bar in windsor in quite a long time, and i was entirely unsurprised that it was virtually empty. there were some people in the bar that were coerced into paying cover; otherwise, i only found one other person that was there to see the show.

this bar actually does more promo than any other venue in the city, which is just a very closed and insular place. what i've noticed is that the music scene in the city is driven virtually entirely by word of mouth, meaning that there isn't actually a music scene at all - there's merely a party scene. people just go to see their friends play, and bands don't seem to really aspire to get out of their groups of friends. the result is that most of the music is very bland (as it is written to please - that is, to conform) and nobody really seems to be interested in going anywhere with it.

what that means for a person like me, that strongly dislikes making friends and maintaining friendships, is that i don't get to many shows in town (and i'm happy that a more disjointed market like detroit is so close). it also means that the few shows that i do go to tend to be practically empty. i'm ok with that, actually - less people to be irritated by. but, the bands tend to be disappointed - and for good reason. if you're coming from anywhere in canada, and staying in the country, chances are you took a detour to get here.

about the only way out of this is if you know somebody in town and can get them to spread the show by word of mouth. flyers, posters, facebook events....they seem to be mostly useless, and to an extent they're even frowned upon as breaking out of the insularity and small town mindset. after all, if you put up a poster then somebody that you don't even know might show up. who wants that?

the bands were both aware of their predicament, and willing to make light of it, although - and this is the part that is always hard to hear - they actually seemed surprised by the low turnout. did they do any promo at all? i mean, i'm telling you it won't matter - but did they even do it? maybe, it should be written in some kind of a place somewhere that you can be pretty sure to be playing an empty bar in windsor unless you have some friends here, and to try to make some kind of arrangement before you bother.

--

the first act was a little poppy for my tastes, but was also fairly dynamic in their stage show. they really needed a bigger crowd to feed off of, and a bigger stage to roam on. it wouldn't have converted me or anything, but it would at least be properly experiential. the reason phog can be great sometimes is precisely because it is so small, but you need to be the kind of band that excels in small spaces for that to make any sense.

--

japanese girls made a bit more sense in the small space, and the set seemed to lack surprises - they did a good job running through some of the material on their last record and in previewing some material from the new one. there was unfortunately a gradient in terms of the material, with the newer material coming off as more of a generic, muscular kind of garage rock. the record is actually very strong, but it builds quite a bit on a good sense of melody (and a good sense of musicianship, too). both of those things seemed stripped out of the newer stuff. but, first impressions can often be misleading.

the show is definitely worth the $5 if you get the chance to see it.

--

on the way out, i noticed that there was a band playing across the street. that venue (milk coffee shop) doesn't even publish show listings, at all, anywhere, so if you want to know what's going on there, you pretty much need to know somebody - which, again, i'm not willing to invest the energy into. but, as an aside, based on what i've seen playing there, it's not really worth the effort. it's a lot of local or regional stuff of mostly low quality.

nonetheless, this bar was actually full of people. there was a heavy blues band playing. no cover, apparently. why not stop for a beer?

see, it was apparent fairly quickly that almost everybody in the bar knew each other, and they were all friends of one of the bands or friend of friends of one of the bands. this is just how things are, here.

the blues band (the stroll) was done within seconds, and a pop punk band (harbour) came on within a few minutes. it was absolutely generic, but i stayed for the beer - and was treated to a guitarist walking across the room, clearly demonstrating that the guitar was not plugged in. oops? well, maybe not: nobody seemed to care.

here's the vlog for the day:

http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2016/05/04.html

07-05-2016: whateverfest

concert footage:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9LyMr3_RSE

review:
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2016/05/07.html

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

06-05-2016: turning the recording machine back on....

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

04-05-2016: within the twilight of archiving (and japanese girls in windsor)

concert footage:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JS7MfHCjn4

review:
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2016/05/04.html

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

so, in case you've lost the plot - and i don't blame you if you have - what's going on is as follows:

1) around the new year, i quit smoking.
2) i wanted to be sure i actually succeeded, so i put myself through a low stress process of archiving old comments for future use in the alter-reality.
3) that took a long time to finish. but i'm now done. and i've quit smoking, too.
4) that means that i'm now about to relaunch.

what that means is that i'm going back to the very start and running through it with a final fine tooth comb. but, this will not be as strenuous a run through as the one that i started at the end of 2013, because i've already done most of the work. when this run is done, my first two periods of work will finally be ready to enter into the annals of history.

i can be a little hard for modern people to understand. i get that. i don't care about the moment. fuck "carpe diem". i live for the historical record. and, i create for the future.

what that means is that this page is being rebuilt, again, from 1996. but, it's being rebuilt from 1996-2003 - and it should be pretty quick. meaning, i should be back to focusing on period 3 by the summer. hopefully. right. i don't think i ever really figured out what was wrong with my phones....

that means i took about a year off between finishing period 2 and starting period 3. it's not what i planned. but, maybe it will work out for the best, in the end. i have cleared numerous things from my head over the last year - not just the smoking, but also the disability/income situation.

so, do expect a lot of finalizing over the next few weeks. i'm finally "there".

almost ready to get back to work

month turnover things were unexpectedly hectic, but i'm legitimately finally "there". i should be back to work tomorrow.

it'll be a week before it updates, but i should be getting back to adding to this list, soon.

checking out an efrim menuck related project on a whim

there's no real backstory to this show, or any meaningful narrative. i decided to check it out mostly on a whim, after checking some samples on the bandcamp site and being intrigued by them.

i'm frankly not sure if this is a new track or not - i can't claim a deep familiarity with their work, and wasn't expecting to pick up a 20 minute track. i'm also not sure if this is one track or, perhaps, three - although note that it was introduced as one "thing". the last part of it has some resemblance to the track 'rhubarb', but it's far from a clean match. there's several sections that i can't match to anything at all on their bandcamp site. so, i do suspect that it's new material. they are apparently suffering a long delay in waiting for efrim menuck to finish sequencing their new record.

what i found intriguing about the band was it's ability to combine weird syncopations and a sense of atonality [both vocally and over the dobro] with a defined pop aesthetic - and that is very much at play in the material on the bandcamp site. the post-rock side of the sound seemed more atmospheric. what i picked up at the show was a fair bit of weird syncopations and a lot of atonality, but a lot less of a pop aesthetic - in favour of a bigger, post-rock presentation. now, i happen to be a huge fan of this kind of thing, if it manages to get out of the formulaic trappings that have set in over the last ten years, so, despite being a little surprised, i can't claim i was less impressed. but, it shouldn't be hard to hear that this is necessarily an acquired taste.

i showed up on a whim, out of curiosity, and i have to say the show managed to maintain that curiosity. i'm eager to hear what the new record sounds like.

regarding the visuals, this is the second time that i've got very bad exposure at the trumbullplex. it's a garage in detroit. the lighting is very soft. this is what the equipment that i have is capable of.

& here is the vlog for the day:

http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2016/04/27.html

on the irrationality of bed-making

i refuse to believe this is actually true. i think my search results are getting filtered, in an attempt to enforce the utter irrationality of bed-making.

i was tipped off to this when youtube wouldn't accept my thumbnail - for no seeming reason other than apparent horror at the idea of thumbnailing an unkempt bed. frankly, i don't fucking care. but, it's worse than this.

i need to point out that i have presented this argument to virtually everybody in my family that is older than me : a mother, a father, a step-mother, a step-father, two grandmothers, various aunts and, i believe, even one uncle. thankfully, it was only really the direct parental units that had opinions that were of any real consequence, and i did manage to convince them both of my superior logic, and at quite a young age. my step-mother was a deeply impulsive type and would simply make the damned bed when i was gone.

but it is not a difficult argument: making your bed is irrational because you're just going to unmake it when you go back to sleep. i mean, what's the first thing you do when you get into a made bed? you rip the sheets out of the side and curl up in the blanket. so, why bother tucking them in? it's not a question of laziness. it's just an utterly preposterous habit.

if you make your bed, you are an irrational person. i'm not crazy: society is crazy. and, i mean that. it's actually fucking true.

sewer blockage

jessica
hi.

there's a really severe sewer blockage somewhere around my unit that seems to have clicked in overnight. i know that's vague, but i don't actually know where the blockage is. but, i do know that, the last time i had a block like this (two years ago), the eel company told me that the block was probably off the property and the city should have taken care of it. the toilet is currently inoperable due to the block [it takes ten minutes to drain and takes nothing with it].

i will have to call my landlord. but, i'm just wondering what the process is in getting the city to clear it's side of the lines, in case that's what the issue is (as i think it is).

i live at 805 marion. 

311
Good Afternoon,

Thank you for your email.

The City of Windsor offers an eeling program,  I would suggest contacting the Public Works Maintenance Department immediately to schedule an appointment.  Public Works maintenance can be reached at 519-255-6326.  I have also provided The City of Windsor Eeling Program Link:

http://www.citywindsor.ca/residents/maintenanceandfieldservices/Sewers-/Pages/Eeling-Program.aspx

Thank you for using the City of Windsor 311 services. 

(phone call made) 

jessica
hi.

i have contacted them, and they are offering the eeling service at a charge that i can't place on the property owners without their consent. but i want to be clear that i believe that the blockage is not on the property - that it is in the actual sewer, and is a combination of things like coffee cups, tree branches and other trash that washed into the sewer from the street. i consequently feel like this is something the city should be dealing with through a different method than eeling through a cleanout, like by sending a truck to clear out the sewers. it just strikes me as unfair for my landlord to pick up the bill on something that is affecting the entire neighbourhood [simply because i'm pushy enough to force him to]. and, fwiw, the water level in the sewers on my side of the street is very high, while the water level in the sewers across the street is not - i think it's very clear the blockage is not on his property.

is there a different program for this that places the cost on the city, where it really belongs? 

311
Good Afternoon Jessica,

I am so sorry to hear about the sewer blockage at your resident.

Can you please provide your address and if possible your contact information and I will register a Service Request to have your street sewer cleaned of the tree branches and other trash that has washed into the street sewer and I will also submit a Street Sweeping request to Environmental Services so the street can be cleared of waste.

Thank you for using the City of Windsor 311 services.

jessica
i'm at 805 marion.

can i ask how long you expect such a request to take to process and result in a clearing?

311
Good Afternoon,

A sewer complaint's duration can be up to 10 business day.  I've have including your comments in the Service Request and also flagged your e-mail as Emergency.  Your Service Request No. for your Sewer Complaint is  16-000 10159 in case you need to contact Public Works Maintenance.

Thank you for using the City of Windsor 311 services.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  City of Windsor - 311  Automated Response E-mail Notification - DO NOT REPLY
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you for using 311!

Your request has been added to the service request tracking system.

Request Type: Sewer Complaint

Your reference number is: 16-00015159.

Click here to view the status of your service request online.

Alternatively, you can call 311 for follow-up by quoting your reference number.

more good news (plumbing)

jessica
i'm just the messenger. i don't want all this shit to be happening, either.

the toilet is swirling slowly again. the pump is also hyperactive. it's the same as before: the drains need to be cleared, and the basement is probably going to eventually flood if they're not. i first noticed the pump yesterday when i was doing laundry and the slow toilet swirl this morning, meaning something backed up over night but it's been building up for a while.

i'll just remind you that the last clog was deep enough in the line that it was probably on city property. so, i don't know if there's a process to get the city to clear the lines, or if they'll pay for it that way.

(pause)

i just want to update that "slow flush" is more like "no flush". the toilet is really not operable. it's taking something like ten minutes to drain - it' stuck.

i'm going to see what information i can find about the city clearing the lines, and then see if i can get paul to call the line cleaners. this is really kind of a must-clear-asap type blockage. nothing is actually flushing at all.

(pause)

i have contacted the city and they will send an eel through for $95.00 - although they claim they won't charge you if it's from tree branches.

what i actually think is causing the blockage is a combination of trash that flowed in from the street - coffee cups, tree branches, french fry containers, etc. if you look at the sewers on this side of the street, they're a foot from the top; if you look at the sewers on the other side of the street, you can't even see the water. it's pretty clear that the block is on the street...

so, i'm pushing back a little and trying to figure out if there's a way to get the city to clear the sewers. i don't think it's fair to force the bill on you, when you're clearing a public line that benefits the entire neighbourhood, for the simple reason that i'm pro-active enough to push for an answer and the neighbour next door isn't.

if i don't get a response, or the response is negative, i suppose i'm waiting on permission from you or paul to call 311 back to get the eel in. the toilet does not work, and i can't be sitting with a bowl full of crap for an extended period.

(pause)

ok.

i've got the city coming to clear the sewers from the outside. i don't know when, yet.

they said up to ten business days, but that it's been flagged as emergency.

i'm comfortable waiting until tomorrow, but i don't think i can wait the weekend out.

(pause)

paul came down and plunged it and it seems like it cleared the immediate obstruction, but that doesn't make any sense, and i'm remaining skeptical. it almost seems like it was already cleared, somehow. i mean, i was gone all night last night - it was fine before i left, and it was fine when i came home and went to bed. it was even fine immediately when i woke up. but, the drain then got progressively worse over the day. that doesn't strike me as consistent with a local issue. it's almost more like something migrated into the pipes. an air bubble, even? but, whatever the cause, it is cleared - for now.

i'll say that i noticed something this morning in the bowl that was red and sort of bloody and seemed to be gurgling up. i made note of it because it was very bright red, and i wasn't sure what it was - it caught my eye. like it shouldn't have been there kind of thing. i had made some nachos when i got home last night, and thought it was probably just some salsa from a kleenex or something. but, i'm starting to wonder. the next flush is when it started to flush slowly - seemingly randomly.

there's other signs that there's still something funny. gurgling sounds. i'm glad the toilet works, but the service order for the cleaning in the outside sewer is still in progress and i'm not going to cancel it.

(pause)

lastly - and curiously - i went to throw something away a little after 17:00 and there was actually an enwin vehicle doing something to the manhole in the laneway next door. if they were clearing, that adds up.

i think it's all good.

the landlord
Jessica, I spoke to Paul and he said no other toilets (4 toilets) where backed up and the sewer, sinks etc have no sign of drainage problems. The conclusion was that your toilet was clogged with toilet paper. Please make aware to Paul as soon as possible when an issue arises so it can be handled quickly. Please do not rely on me reading my e-mails and please make sure it is not just you plugging up the toilet. I do not know why you would call the city since it is only when all toilets and sewer are backed up and then we would call a plumber with a snake to unplug to the city sewer. After taking that measure; and if that did not solve an issue with drainage, the next action would be, call the city. We would have to determine that it would be necessary to call the city after a thorough investigation.  Please do not jump the gun and please do not put excessive amounts of toilet paper down the toilet sewer drain. Please deposit other uses of toilet paper to the garbage, such as blowing your nose etc , Please only flush paper that you wipe your butt with down the toilet. This is the wise way to make sure that a toilet does not plug up the system.

jessica
i really don't think that's what happened. and, as i've mentioned, there is no known cause - i had not defecated in the toilet before it began to slow.

in fact, the sinks remain very slow and it's a matter of time before you'll need to come clear the line. i repeat: there remains evidence of a clog in the main line.

there was a truck outside clearing the sewers a little before he came down. the truth is that the toilet was already unclogged before he plunged it - and you could see that if you looked. i nearly asked him to flush first, but it would have been risky because there was the normal amount of water (which was actually clear) in the bowl.

you wouldn't expect the toilets on the first floor to slow down until the one in the basement has already overflowed. it backs up through the lowest point - that's me, and only me.

again: it's impossible that i clogged the toilet. it worked when i left. it was clogged when i came back. the only way that the toilet could have clogged is if somebody came in and used it when i was gone.

but, as mentioned, it wasn't clogged - a truck cleared the sewers from outside.

(pause)

but, to answer your question: why would i call the city?

because i do not think the clog is on your property; i think it's on city property. it's not your responsibility, as a property owner, to clear out the sewers on the street.

you should keep that link handy. the city clears for free. and, i do believe that that was and remains the solution.

you really should *not* call the plumber and waste $100 on a snake until you've called the city to clear the street sewers, which are the actual problem, for free.

(pause)

i've been running a vlog for the last few months. it's not really popular or anything, it's more just something to do. and, this was kind of a boring day because all i did was freak out about the toilet.

it was set to publish tonight at 12:30, but i've published it a few hours early to make the point.

if you watch the whole thing (15 minutes), you'll get a better handle of what happened (and there is actually footage of the truck at the end).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOSGGEm_9Kw

the landlord
Jessica, I see the toilet is draining slow. I have seen this before and sometimes something large may have fallen in the toilet and is jammed in the toilet trap. Some times things fall in that are too large and get jammed. We may have to pull the toilet and turn it upside down. In the video when your where outside on the street, you where looking at the storm sewer. That is where all the evesdroughs and surface water are collected. The pipe from the toilets is connected to the Sanitary sewer much deeper under the streets. This is a closed sewer that you can not see. Google storm sewer vs sanitary sewer so you understand the difference. I will get around asap to check your problem.

jessica
remember when we had this discussion last year or the year before and i contacted the city's engineering department and they explained that there's a combined sewer system in windsor, rather than separate sanitary lines?

the systems in this house are such that if we get a hurricane or something, it could very well backup. and, if the storm drains get blocked, it *is* going to affect the plumbing.

i do still think that's what actually happened and the truck outside was pushing through leaves and other debris. and, that kind of spring cleaning of the storm drains should probably be done on at least a yearly basis.

there's an interesting article here about sewage run-offs from storm drain overflows:

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/windsor/brown-stuff-in-windsor-waterways-could-be-human-feces-city-says-1.2782594

the landlord
To the best of my knowledge that is not possible for any city sewer system to be connected into a storm sewer or vice versa by city engineering. In fact if anyone connects storm to a sanitary sewer and are caught they would be fined. Our storm sewer is not connected to the Sanitary and we are in compliance. If illegal hookups are affecting our property from back pressure or over taxed sanitary sewer, your toilet would be overflowing with black shit all over the floor. Paul has cleared your toilet and it is flowing good right now. Please contact Paul ASAP to see the problem visually first hand if you think it is happening when there is a heavy rain or just after. This way we can determine your toilets condition and call the city to the condition if in fact city sanitary is a backup condition. Please call Paul to deal with this condition and do not send me e-mails, I cannot respond quickly.

jessica
this was the email i got from the city last year.

i really think that it's important that you understand the way the plumbing down here works, both for my own benefit and your own benefit.

the sewers in this area are over 100 years old. they were built before it became common to separate drain and sanitary sewers. as such, THERE IS A COMBINED SEWER SYSTEM ATTACHED TO THIS PROPERTY.

and, what that means is that the plumbing system is subject to effects from external conditions like blocked storm drains and heavy rains.

i have explained this in multiple ways. i mean, you can lead a horse to water, right? but, let's get this clear, please, for future concerns. because i will not behave as though the plumbing exists in a way that it doesn't simply because you refuse to listen to good evidence. and, if you refuse to accept the reality, i will have no choice but to take matters into my own hands when it is necessary and bypass you to get the work done.

this is the email from the city: 

I would like to clear up a few points in your email.

While your landlord may be correct in that the house may be serviced by separate storm and sanitary connections (I can't confirm that), both these connections would outlet to the same combined sewer in the road. There is only one sewer Cataraqui and one on Marion, and they are both combined sewers meaning that they accept both rain water and sewage.

With respect to the Wyandotte project, there is no sewer work being undertaken as part of that project. Windsor Utilities is replacing the watermain and services and the City will reconstruct the pavement following that work. This project would have no impact on the sewers servicing your property.

You are most likely correct in that there is a correlation between rainfall and the slow running plumbing in your house. This is due to the combined nature of the sewer that services your property. During rain events, combined sewers fill with rainwater and therefore have limited capacity to accept flows from buildings.

With respect to the apartment building across the street from you, all rainfall runoff from this property would have entered the sewer system via foundation drains prior to the fire, so the fact that the basement may have flooded and the water is now entering the floor drain would change the drainage pattern very little. In fact, rainwater entering the sewers from this property would be very small in proportion to that coming from the catchbasins draining the roads in the area.

With respect to abandonment of the connections servicing the apartment building, that would be addressed when the building is demolished by the Building Department. If you have concerns regarding the state of the building, please contact the Building Department via 311.

Hopefully, this answers some of your questions. Please contact me if you want to discuss this matter further.

Sincerely;

------------. P.Eng.
A/Contracts Co-ordinator 

the landlord
Jessica, what does this have to do with our building and the fact that your toilet does not overflow from the city backing up or a back due to overtaxed sewer system from rain water. Is it your belief that your toilet was plugged from a overtaxed or old city sewer? Please specify clearly?  Paul cleared your toilet with all the paper in it which could not have come from anyone else but you as he tells me. Your toilet has been cleared and ever since Paul has cleared it you have not reported to Paul any other circumstance since he cleared it. No one can enter your place except you and Paul. Feel free to call the City to keep the city sewers cleared if this helps you. As far as your toilet getting plugged, you have to look at the circumstance of one plugged situation and not multiple problems as Paul or I understand. If you had multiple situations please update Paul so he understands your concern with dates, times, frequencies, etc. and any heavy rainfall occurring. Once we document these situations we will have evidence that we can report to the city. Heavy Rain falls must be the root cause to overtax the Illegal over flows to the city sewer. You must first report to Paul ASAP so we can assess the circumstance to have evidence of ongoing problems which so far is not evident to us. So far there is no evidence that we have documented of the city system backing up or causing your toilet to be plugged or any of our toilets in the building to be affected. We have no evidence of this so far. We will have to pay close attention and document details from now on to build a case. You cannot wait for me to look at e-mails to respond promptly to a situation when I do not read my e-mails every day. Paul and you are the Key to the documentation.

Paul can call and request the city to clear their system if that helps you with peace of mind. So if that is what you are requesting then please ask Paul to call the city to request a sewer servicing. Paul will read this e-mail. You have the power to ask him to call and he can call the city once he has an understanding of your concern. I will speak to Paul also. 

jessica
well, like i say, we don't really agree about what happened. you can see in the video that there wasn't initially anything substantial in the toilet (some urine, and a couple of pieces of toilet paper - that's not going to create a clog). i suppose we'll have to agree to disagree.

i apologize if i'm coming off as standoffish, it's just that a blocked mainline isn't something i want to play with, and if i think it's the city's lines then i'm going to call them as soon as i identify a problem in order to try and get them cleared outside. it's not just the rain. it's also the fact that people throw all kinds of garbage in the sewers. i don't want to sit around and argue about what the problem is. it's known that the lines in this area are very old and should really be replaced - it's just that it would cost a substantial sum for the city to do it.

as i mentioned, it wasn't just the toilet - the sinks were also draining slowly and sending through air bubbles when they drained. that's the classic sign of a blocked main. which, you wouldn't expect to back up upstairs because it's not the lowest point. you'd have to have a huge mess down here before it becomes an issue upstairs. on that level, i guess i'm the canary, right? i'm going to notice issues before anybody else does.

after the toilet cleared, the sinks were still draining slowly. so, it seemed like it was better but that more work was going to be necessary.

BUT, since then the issue has largely resolved itself. and, consistently, the sewers in the front have also come down about a meter. so, i'm left to conclude that the lines outside have drained and the issue went away with it.

so, i *don't* think anything requires any immediate attention.

but, i *do* think that it's going to remain a constant concern due to the infrastructure in the neighbourhood. and, rather than contact you and have a talk about this or that, i'm going to just jump to calling the city. because if the thing blows up while we're arguing about it....

when i was talking to the city, the impression i got was that they understand that the issue is structural and that periodic calls to get the lines cleared are actually expected. i mean, we can document it and send them a report, but you wouldn't be telling them anything they don't know. they know the lines need to be replaced. it's just, where do you get billions of dollars to do it? it's more cost effective to send out a truck to clear the lines when they get full of trash.

but, like i say - they've come down about a meter since then. we should expect that they'll clog again, eventually. but, they seem to be ok for now.

27-04-2016: finally finishing spring cleaning & catching a weird band (ada) in detroit

concert footage:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnBe0WIxVY8

review:
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2016/04/27.html

previous vlog:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGiA6m5fIBw

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

the furnace is leaking again...

while i think it needs to be caulked down here, i do suspect that something is loose upstairs.

i've found myself very sleepy this week due to a variety of things, including going cold turkey on coffee for a bit. i want to get my fluids up before i go back on it. it's working, too. see, i have a problem with not drinking enough water. i think it will resolve itself once i can turn the heat off in here (this has been a slow spring, here).

so, it took me a week to do a day's worth of spring cleaning. but it is now actually done. finally. i'll have to do laundry this afternoon, and then some filing tomorrow.

so, will i have anything up by the end of the month? no. but, i should be back on track by the start of may.

i've managed to just lose a whole year. it sucks. but, it's the way it had to be.

stumbling back and forth, zombie-like, to the imperial death march

4/20 is always a special day, and it's always nice to have a good show to get to when it rolls around. i was a little tired on this 4/20 due to my schedule cycling me around to an evening sleep. i nearly missed the show...

--

it was doors at 8:00 pm and i was in line no later than 8:15. but, somehow, the first band started playing at 8:30. you can imagine that this upset quite a few people, many of whom were there explicitly to see melt banana, who are not your average opening act...

i'll acknowledge that i could have been there earlier if i hadn't been trying to sneak a few hours of sleep in. but, the venue really put itself in an incredibly stupid position by refusing to post set times and then starting the show early. if it's doors at 8:00, one expects the show to start after 9:00. how late after 9:00 is anybody's guess, but after 9:00 is taken for granted. if you're going to start the show early, you should post set times. otherwise, how is anybody supposed to know it's an early show? and, of course, people did ask - they always do. the general refusal by bars to post set times is a well understood, if somewhat recent, nefarious ploy to sell a handful of extra beers. but, even in that context, it makes no sense to start the band a half hour after doors. if you were trying to sell beer, and you'd thought it through, you'd have opened the doors at 6:00 and let people listen to sound check. so, if you were to level accusations of incompetence at the new owners of the majestic theatre complex, as many did, you'd be absolutely right. people were understandably livid.

personally? i wouldn't quite go so far as to suggest that i was there solely to see melt banana. i will say that if it was only melt banana & napalm death, i probably wouldn't have went - or at least not for the door price. and, i was in fact expecting a short set from melt banana, because they were opening. to me, the deciding factor was the melvins. i was there explicitly to see melt banana, but it was the chance to see the melvins play a lengthy set in a nice theatre that allowed me to rationalize the door price. i don't care at all about napalm death.

i didn't get in until around 8:40, and nearly turned around and walked out when i realized it wasn't sound check. see, i hadn't paid yet. but, it was 4/20 and the melvins were going to be on in less than an hour...

if you do the math, it means i missed a little less than half the set. they seem to have focused mostly on their new record, which is fine with me - that's really the extent of my interest in them. i mean, it's a quantum leap forwards from their previous work. you can imagine that i wish i got to see them play longer, but the truth is that i missed the first two songs. unfortunately, there were only five songs. but, it's nonetheless hard to get a good feel for what was played, besides noting that they performed as a two piece with a drum machine.

here is a full set:

--

i was able to take a walk between sets and find the thing everybody seeks on this calendar date. i don't have any exciting stories, though. the areas around the venue were overcrowded and full of metalheads, which is a group i tend to have little in common with. frankly, i'm always awkward at metal shows. i mean, this wasn't really a "metal show" in any strict sense - all three of these bands are really punk bands. it's just that the audience felt like a metal audience. it's actually kind of weird, really. overheard conversations had to do with things like black sabbath, wrestling, cars - there's just not any common ground, there, or much that i could knowledgeably butt into, if i'd even really want to, in between accusatory "fag" glances. i don't want to exaggerate; i wouldn't have gone to a pantera show or something, and it wasn't at all like that. napalm death are known for their left of center politics, and i'm sure at least part of the audience realized it. i'm just saying that these weren't people i'd hang out with, or that would want to hang out with me, either. they were quiet, uneventful smokes.

--

the melvins are a band that one would probably expect me to be more familiar with than i am. standing in 2016 and looking back, they've inarguably become one of the most important bands of their generation. it may have been hard to predict it at the time, but it is pretty obvious today that they are really the pre-eminent seattle band, if for no other reason than their continuity and longevity. they didn't just create the sound, they hung to it when nobody else did and kept evolving it when everybody else had moved on.

that said, in my own life, the melvins are a band that is more important as a proof of concept than as something to be actually listened to. for all their worth as seminal icons over what is now three generations of musicians, they've always struck me as sort of boneheaded. it's fun for an hour, here and there, sure. but, it's just never been the kind of thing i'm going to listen to by myself on repeat in much of any context - and trust me when i say i've given it more than a few chances, over what is now more than 20 years.

yet, they were my justification for going. and, when i realized i'd already missed half of melt banana, i still paid to get in to see them. what's going on here?

well, the truth is that they're almost universal, in a certain way. i said this already - they may be a little too boneheaded for my tastes, and so they're never going to work their way into my mp3 player, but you can't get much better than the melvins if you're looking to get your head caved in on 4/20!

in truth, i actually think i experienced the show in it's optimal context, for the following precise reasons:

1) i was not at all familiar with any of the material in any really meaningful sense, meaning it was coming at me totally fresh.
2) i have the musical knowledge to completely understand the music - including the syncopation - as it is coming at me in real time.
3) i was baked.

now, i know that (2) does not apply to everybody. but, i have to say that i was impressed by dale crover - and really wasn't expecting to be. it wasn't just raw talent, it was more about creative flow. he was just flying. i'm not sure if that's something that's developed over time or not, but i have to say that i don't remember hearing the melvins in quite that context at any time in the past. i may even have to check out some new material. maybe i'll finally get over it on the 37th try?

i also have to say that i was impressed by the flow of the set on the guitar side, which ran through about a half an hour of slow grind before opening up to the high end of the neck for most of the second half of the set. when you structure the set like that, it gives your ears an ability to adjust to the bottom, which exaggerates the effects of the highs opening up. i remember thinking that it almost seemed studious. almost.

there were a few points where i considered taking footage, but the reality is that i just didn't know where the songs were starting and stopping. and, i was kind of enjoying the cave.

so, the melvins remain the melvins. and, they picked the best day of the year to play detroit.

--

now, speaking of that, i need to react a little to buzz' claim that we're all a bunch of fascists for toking on 4/20, as though it's all about celebrating the life of hitler. as jesting as it may have been, i took napalm death's subsequent cover of nazi punks fuck off a little more seriously. is 4/20 really about hitler?

that's ridiculous, frankly. i don't really have any strong understanding of the origins of the day, but it's one of those things that doesn't really matter anymore, anyways. now, we can have this argument, right. people will say the original meaning is more important. then, they'll start dancing in the forest on christmas and sacrificing goats on easter, right?

4/20 is marijuana legalization day. that is, it's the day that people smoke in public in order to challenge the prohibition against it. where i grew up, in ottawa, this takes the form of a yearly ritual on parliament hill, where thousands of people smoke up outside the parliament. similar things happen all over the continent. and, nobody seig heils anybody or gasses any jews (well, maybe the odd hot box...) or invades poland or anything like that at all. it's just about pot legalization.

and, frankly buzz? i don't really appreciate being called a nazi. i dug the cover and everything, but i didn't really need the insinuation.

--

the melvins were done around 10:30, so i decided i'd might as well stay for napalm death. i was absolutely prepared to leave before they came on, though, if it came to it.

i have to admit that i found the band amusing - i will not deny being entertained. it's the genre. there's not much you can do within it that's going to strike me as less than absurd - the best you can do is be ironic about it: take the absurdity on, and revel in it sort of thing. that way, when i break out laughing - and i will - i don't have to be self-conscious about feeling smug about it. i mean, i don't take pleasure in laughing at headliners. but, my lol on this night was genuine. given that these guys are middle aged now, it was even more cartoonish than expected.

i tend to get the impression that they take themselves more seriously than a white zombie, or a butthole surfers or even a ministry - bands that are not as extreme as napalm death but that i think present the right attitude to approach grindcore with (or how about melt banana, for that matter?). or even the dks. as it is, the lack of irony quickly gets oppressive. now, i happen to know that napalm death are not saying anything that's going to piss me off, but i'd have a hard time figuring that out in real time. even so, i'm still the type to be more amused than anything else - so long as i'm feeling comfortable enough in my own safety to maintain that ironic distance. i'd rather laugh with you than at you. it's too claustrophobic to actually get lost in.

i'll admit that it was a little tiring by the end of it. i mean, there's a reason bands of this type play half hour sets. you just can't drag this out the way a more methodical act like the melvins can. their fans are free to disagree, but i think they'd be more effective with a half-hour set. melvins, on the other hand, could sludge it out for three hours and maintain engagement.

but, don't take what i say seriously. this may not be a great distance from my sphere of interest, but it is definitely not within it. and, as constructive as my criticism may be, it remains of little actual value. the violinist knows little of football.

and, here is the vlog for the day:

http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2016/04/20.html

20-04-2016: 4/20 in detroit (imperial death march: melt banana, melvins, napalm death)

concert footage:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rYXwTfmJiI

review:
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2016/04/20.html

previous vlog:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZhDGD6OoJI

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

05. distracted by the democratic primary (trying to finish archiving) (dvd 5)

spring bug update

i've caught two in the last twelve hours (one around midnight, the other around 8:00 am) near the front door, which is a little different. essentially every roach i've ever seen in here has been near the plumbing on the far side - in the kitchen usually, or maybe in the bathroom or sometimes in the closet in the bedroom. but always clearly near the plumbing as a water source. so, to see two of them come in from the other side like this is a little different.

so, i did some liberal spraying along each of the four doorways around the two entrances. i suppose we'll find out how many get trapped in it over the next few days. but, it seems to suggest there's been a population increase in the back area. it's generally stated that seeing roaches in the day is a bad sign.

i haven't seen any on the plumbing side yet this year, but i will be doing spring cleaning over the weekend - which means spraying behind the appliances and replacing the steel wool.

the headaches have subsided. and i want to be clear that i wasn't trying to be accusatory. i was just trying to figure out if the unit was sprayed when i wasn't here, as that struck me as a likely explanation for what was happening. pure intuition. and, obviously, i would like to be informed when the unit is going to be sprayed, if the unit is going to be sprayed. but i wouldn't have raised the issue if i wasn't getting dramatic symptoms coming from the air - not just headaches, actually, but visual hallucinations (tracers) and at one point an inability to speak. i mean, i spent a day in the hospital. they told me i had a migraine, and maybe that was it, but it kind of seems like i was poisoned. again: i'm not making accusations, exactly, i'm more just contemplating possibilities. however, because i've sprayed down here this morning, i've now contaminated myself regarding any testing. i wouldn't have sprayed if i didn't think it was gone, anyways. at the very least, realize this: if there was spraying down here this month, i got some pretty nasty side effects from it. so, that shouldn't happen again without telling me what's happening so i can adjust...

i am now moving this laptop back into the bedroom, and getting ready to turn the pc back on. the last thing i have to do on the laptop is clean this page up, but it won't make sense to do that right away - i'll have to do it as i'm rebuilding the alter-reality (and the period disc) from 1996 on. and, in order to get there, i still have to sort through some things, to make sure i've found everything i can.

i don't know if there are still usenet or mailing list archives for me to access online, but it's secondary to finding what i can in squirelled away pst files first, anyways. iirc, it was about mid-1997 that i started rambling on the internet. the alter-reality starts in the summer of 1996, and will consequently kick back in around july. but, then i've got a year before i need to worry about it. and, i consequently may put it off for a little while, depending on how fast i find things.

i'm hitting a strange show tonight (melt banana / melvins...and i'll probably stay for napalm death, too, depending on set times), because it's 4/20. but, i think i should get through most of this scavenging by the end of the day, too. and, then i can get back to finishing what i started doing back in december.

almost there. seriously.

and what do i have to show for it? well, i've pulled down over a gb of text from the internet. 1.2 gb. of text. stored in word documents. i jest you not, this is the truth. message boards. youtube. email. facebook. it's 1.2 gb of text. since 2011. and understand this: i have many times more than this from before 2011. so, when i claim that i'm building an alter-reality with a lot of writing....

it'll be really obvious what i'm doing as soon as i start doing it. and i'm just about there.

and, did i mention that i quit smoking, too? that was really important. and, frankly, this was a pretty productive way to do that. time is a strange intangible and everything. i'd prefer it if we weren't stuck running out of it. and, i may be lucky enough to catch the cut-off point after all. i'm beginning to think i was too pessimistic. but, i don't regret this. and, if i can catch immortality after all, then i'm just setting myself up for it. hey, that cut-off point is coming soon, whether i catch it or not.

fw: from the past

this is basically a fake email address. i'm still using the death.to.koalas address.

i'm clearing out some old email. communications with my dad. school stuff. losing my mind on hormones...

this is a direct forward, catch me after the jump.

======

i'm going to fade away now for a bit...

Jason Parent <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>        11 August 2010 at 04:57
To: Sarah
Reply | Reply to all | Forward | Print | Delete | Show original

....i still want that add and you know not getting it is weirding me out..

...but i'm getting the point, silent and clear.

it's a shame, really. ten years. multiple shared apartments. jams. discussions. arguments. trips. concerts. love. hate. just about everything in between.

i think there's a fundamental disconnect going on right now between the way that we see each other. i would introduce you to a room as follows: "this is my friend, sarah.". you would introduce me to a room as follows: "this is my crazy ex-boyfriend, j.".

friend.

ex-lover.

i've had a persistent fear over the last five years that i was going to eventually lose you forever, and when i say that i mean lose *you*, a friend, a person that's very important to me. in a fit of insanity, i think i may have actually managed to accomplish this...

.....and that my only hope of not losing you forever is to back off and wait until you decide to call, if you ever decide to call ever again.

i'll get over it, i just wish i didn't have to.

you're probably actually relieved to hear me say this, and that actually makes me a little bit sad.

======

that was right before i started to lose it - a little after i told you i was going back on hormones. and i think it's clear that i realized what was about to happen, right? that i knew you were going to react poorly. and that i knew i was going to break apart into little pieces.

but, even at this point i think the fundamental disconnect is clear:

i would introduce you to a room as follows: "this is my friend, sarah.". you would introduce me to a room as follows: "this is my crazy ex-boyfriend, j.".

is that not spot on accurate? but, see this is the crux of the situation that i was never able to give up hope on: if you would have been able to merely see me as a friend, as i was able to see you, then there wouldn't have been a crisis. i did not think this should be so difficult. and, frankly, i did not initially realize that you retained latent feelings. you have two children, after all. i thought you were completely over me.

i'm not going to pretend that i can make sense of everything that i typed or did over the next few years. it's not that there wasn't logic to it; to the contrary, the logic was often very complex. it's that i was having difficulty determining what was real and what wasn't. so, trying to decipher what i had typed or did (in hindsight) relies on understanding some paranoid projection of something, which is not always obvious at this distant a date. i was convinced that there was some kind of a conspiracy to keep you away from me. but, see, all i wanted to get across was that my intentions were benign. i was convinced everything would right itself, if you would just know in your heart that all i truly wanted was to hang out twice a year. that is in itself as neurotic as anything else. but, perhaps, if you were completely over me...

i need you to understand that i was dealing with some advanced psychosis. maybe i still am. there were many complex factors. and, while it wasn't your responsibility to deal with it, and i do not fault you for my crazy behaviour, your perception was self-fulfilling. that is, in time, i *became* your crazy ex-boyfriend. it is true that what i wanted was to be your friend. but, the harder i tried, the more of a crazy ex i became. and there was no solution to this.

i can't deal with unsolvability...

today, i live on odsp in windsor, ontario. i moved here because the cost of living is a lot lower. i will likely remain on odsp for the rest of my life. but, i need to be clear: this is not rhetoric. i'm not just saying that i lost my mind, or that i had a mental breakdown, or that i was dealing with psychosis. i have been diagnosed with a mental illness. i live on disability as a consequence of it. i am not dangerous, but i am unpredictable. and, my behaviour over those years was a consequence of it - even if it's not entirely obvious to you when or how i was schizing out.

it is very unlikely that i will ever go back to ottawa.

i am a very patient person, as you know, but i do have limits. and, the empathy that i had for your distress over my transition has faded. i've actually developed a level of bitterness. i am probably holding you in higher regard than is fair to you, and reacting poorly to unrealized expectations that i have no actual business holding you to. but, it is what it is.

but, i never got the closure i wanted, either. we were friends for ten years; you just decided to ignore me one day. i thought i deserved some kind of explanation. i actually think i still do. i don't think that anything that happened after this day negates this.

i'm giving you the courtesy of providing an explanation for my own behaviour. this is of course very general, but i don't think either of us really want particularly granular details. but, i'm good at 'splaining. and i think i'm getting my points across clearly. if you'd like to reciprocate, i'd still appreciate that. otherwise, i wouldn't expect to hear from me again - these emails are in the process of being destroyed.

bandcamp:
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com

youtube:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCinQSeEtF0vSN1XVhQGfwKA

j

season 5