that was devastatingly disappointing.
i was 
expecting a female landlord; it turns out that was the actual landlord's
 mom, and the landlord is some jockish looking frat boy that works in 
construction or something. he lives downstairs.
the
 ad said no pets. they have a large dog on the ground floor, and one 
presumes that living there means dodging the dog on the way in, through 
the fenced yard. what no pets apparently means is "my dog does not play 
nice with others".
the ad said no smoking. but, 
this frat boy smells like a bong, and is clearly smoking pot in the 
kitchen below me. there are vents coming up from downstairs.
"when somebody says non-smoking, that doesn't mean pot."
it doesn't? in what universe?
so,
 i thought i was getting the top of a non-smoking, pet-free house with a
 nice, quiet older female living downstairs - and would instead be 
living on top of a pothead frat boy with a violent guard dog.
i would also gain the privilege of buying a washer & dryer.
no thanks. next.
back to the drawing board...