Thursday, May 3, 2018

i'm not an 'entertainer' and i've never wanted to be one, either.

i wouldn't have the slightest idea how to put together a concert, and i'd probably never get over the stage fright. the few times i've been on stage, i've tended to face away from the crowd. have you ever seen footage of robert fripp? i'm boring like that.

i don't have "charisma".

i don't enjoy being the centre of attention.

i'm a studio musician - a producer, a behind-the-scenes type. and, if i was ever going to play in a band, it would be in a supporting role, like a bassist or a keyboard player.

i've never imagined that i'm ever going to perform any of this material. it's always been intended as purely recorded music...

that said, there was a period when i considered going to a production school. i'm not sure if i regret not going, or not. i think i would have run into the same basic problem, in the end - i wouldn't have been interested in making other people's music, and i'd just have ended up with a lot of skills i was able to teach myself, anyways. i'd almost certainly be where i am today, anyways.

i don't have a barrier preventing me from dealing with people, so much as i have an actual disinterest in dealing with people - i don't want some cure to make me more social, i want supports to allow me to exist in my vacuum.