i got most of my end-of-month errands done today (i'll have to do laundry tomorrow), and i've been lost in ranting on election articles in between it. i'm not sure i'll get much done with the rest of the day, but i did get the machine fully installed and it does seem like i'm getting clean signals from the two pci cards out of smplayer and winamp. i'm going to make sure i do solid testing before i even open foobar, to be absolutely certain it's the source. but, it's looking like it may just have been a triviality..

two months. ugh. at least i have five more years now, though.

it took me a few weeks to come to terms with the fact that i got the five years, but i'm also now completely done smoking. this is the necessary incentive. i set my september budget this afternoon, and it had zero for cigarettes - which means i should be able to finally build those shelves at the beginning of october with the money i save. i was waiting to see how it turned out because...what's the use in building shelves if i'm hitting the streets...but, five years is enough to get me comfortable down here, and maybe even lead to a change of mind if things turn awry when the next renewal comes up. i'm not going to pretend that i can predict what i'll be thinking by then. but i think i may be unlikely to want to move, at any cost.

i have one last appointment with the psychologist on tuesday. it was meant as a follow-up to see if the results came in and how i feel about it, which they have, and which i feel good about. but, i'm going to try and get him to fill out those student loan forms. the condition is supposed to be permanent disability. it's kind of shady. but, you'd think five years on odsp is enough to get the message across: this loan is merely going to generate interest indefinitely. i've decided that if i gets cleared and i somehow come into money, i will....i'm not going to give it to the state flat out. i'm going to donate it to a career services organization that helps young people determine what they want out of life before they go to school through objective skills testing. i think that's what the system is missing. i'm not talking about some kind of soviet-style forced study or something, i'm just talking about a little guidance that's able to put people through aptitude and psychological testing and able to provide suggestive results. there's obviously a problem. i don't think we need corporations to take over the education system. i just think we need to invest in guidance, and remove the taboo around it.

i'm also going to see if he'll just fill my prescription for five years. that would be the easiest answer. as far as i can tell, the doctor i saw in london has also shut his practice down. that's two doctors in a row that have shut down, and there's only one doctor here in windsor and he's a prick. at least these guys know me a little; it's a simple request, and i can't think of any good reason they'd deny it.

if that all happens as planned, i should have all this annoying calling around everywhere and getting forms filled out stuff completely out of the way for years into the future. and, that will be good.

so, it seems like i'll be good to go and back at it in a few days. hopefully, that works out.