it's amazing how easy it is to lose a week for no apparent reason. lol.

i've been playing with a bit of a jokey folk song, but it's a conceptual thing and i'm not sure about releasing it, yet. this would be something brand new, which i'm supposed to be putting aside for the moment. but i'm toying with jumping the queue...

i'll have a clearer sense of what's happening with my life on tuesday, although i'm not expecting any kind of reactionary measures until the first. what i will say is that if i don't get this thing moving, i may have to jump forwards significantly. i'm very overdue on it, and it's kind of screwing up a lot of things.

i suppose it's just more proof that nothing's ever really going to get me to give a fuck. i mean, i'm looking at a mountain of work to complete before a near certain suicide attempt within weeks and i can barely get the energy to get off youtube. that's not even slacking, really, it's just honestly not caring.

it's not like i haven't done anything with this. i've got four polished mixes over the last two months. that's really not bad. if i didn't have a surplus of ideas, i'd be done already, really.

i think it's also partially that what i'm about to embark on in finalizing this is flatly quite challenging. i mean, this is going to be some fairly advanced guitar work. and, i don't mean in the lamer scale-running shredder sense. that would be easy. i need the result to be more developed and more expressive than that.

which means i need to find the right tone, to begin with, which could itself take a week. i'll make decisions when i get back on tuesday. for now, i need to actually get some work done over the next 36 hours...