so, who is the fucker at the mixing desk?

i've let on a few times that i'm conceiving of him as the comic book guy, chowing down doritos that are falling out of his mouth and on to the board and muttering "no, no, this is all wrong - she means to do it like *this*.", which promptly leads me to want to strangle him.

i'm getting the perception, recently, that the surveillance is a little more sophisticated, which is leading me to question my perceptions.

who is the fucker at the mixing desk? i don't know, but it's becoming unbearable and i consequently need to request - again - that this ceases. my time is being wasted, and i don't have a lot of it left...

i spent a good part of the last week on this, and got to the point about friday where i could get a rough mix out. over the last few days, i've been lethargic - partially depressed that the out doesn't sound the same, partially refraining from nicotine. today, i began to notice that the file is skipping very badly and narrowed it down to a latency issue.

now, here's the thing: there was not previously a latency issue. i did not add any effects or buses or anything at all. it's the same file. one does not go from no latency issues to latency issues for no reason.

the one thing that i did change was that i unplugged from the internet....

now, here's the thing that is consistent with the other evidence i've compiled that my audio is connected to an external server: the direct out rendered the way it should, even as the playback sounded muffled and was skipping. that itself is not unusual. but what it indicates is that the processor is picking up extra shit on playback. that it wasn't picking up before. what, exactly?

now, as mentioned, i'm unplugged from the internet. there's no wireless in this machine at all. that doesn't mean remote operation is impossible, but it means that:

(1) it would be slow and
(2) it would require some expertise.

i'm not going to pretend that i know how to do this, but if you check any electronic device manufactured in north america there's a little statement on the back that states "we can remote control this with radio". this applies to everything from your cell phone to your microwave. but it means i'm not talking about a fucker at a mixing desk, i'm talking about a fucker at csis, and the noise and clicking and screwed up mixes i'm getting is essentially a byproduct of being monitored.

the logic may be along the lines of "if she doesn't want to buy a phone, we'll monitor her mixer instead".

so, listen....

....you idiots....

...you can clearly hear that all you're picking up is the music. and, you're interfering in my music production rather dramatically, whether you mean to or not. i'm not attempting to cut you out because i'm trying to hide my riffs and beats from you. i'm trying to cut you out because you're fucking up the monitor on the mix by adding empty space, which is killing the definition and making everything sound compressed.

i tend to be transparent, because i realize it's a better idea for the intelligence agencies to understand what they're dealing with to prevent misunderstandings. for example, i think it's a good thing for them to know i don't own any weapons, because it will prevent any overreactions. so, the idea of being listened to is actually something i'm indifferent to. i recognize the potential for abuse and think it shouldn't happen, but it's not something that really seriously bothers me on a personal level.

but, this is interference, and that's something very different.

i'm not plugging back in until i'm confident that the radio hack has stopped. and, from that point forward, what i want is for the software used to be updated so that it doesn't interfere with the people being monitored. which is probably a good idea anyways.

again: i'm ignoring the stupidity of the fact that you're monitoring a composer with no income and no friends. i don't have the time or interest to drag this through court; that's a waste of my time. i'm just demanding that, if you're going to monitor me, you do it in a way that is non-invasive.

in the meantime, i'm going to have to mix from render. which means i'm going to have to render the track every time i touch the mix. this is extremely time consuming. but you leave me no choice until you fuck off...

the blunt reality is that there's nothing to monitor. i make music, i read, and i eat. i do this entirely by myself. there's no hidden network. i simply don't know anybody.

so, it's not that i'm hiding connections and you need to monitor me to find them. it's that i don't see any use in paying for a device i'll never use. and, that you're basically harassing somebody that is of no use to you.

so, stop.

let me mix....