i could conceivably get the orchestral mix up before the next sleep. it's turning out to be pretty wacky; i'm enjoying doing this and hope you like the result. i'm not sure how much of it is going to end up in the final mix, but i'm just focusing on what i have in front of me for right now....
i legitimately want to move on, but i'm having fun with this...
that rockin' bass line transferred over extremely well.
i need to specify that this isn't like a sombre orchestration. it's an extended overture.
Friday, January 30, 2015
got the check...
jessica
it's very generous of you, thank you. i was worried there for a bit that somebody was holding it for some reason or another.
if you're curious, you can stream what i'm doing at this page:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com
i think maybe most of it might be a little too "modern" for your tastes. most of it is broadly categorized as "classical music", but it's classical music with distorted and often dissonant guitars, grating percussion and weird sound effects. i like beethoven (and you can often tell), but agree with his dismissive opinions on rossini. so, there's not much of that. it's more drawing from the tradition of varese, stockhausen, cage and zappa - and following that line of thinking as it evolved through integration with rock traditions through the 60s, 70s and 80s.
nana
glad to hear you got it!I am getting many phone calls for you regarding your student loans.Could you please get in touch with them.The calls are all on my answering machine.Yes I am curious to here your music so will stream it.Take care & stay in touch.
jessica
i'm sorry that they're bothering you about the loans. i don't want that to happen.
however, i've been trying to avoid them rather purposefully, as it's not clear what my financial situation is going to be over the next few years. if i could tell them "i'm on disability", it would put me in a no payment status. but, i can't do that until i get that cleared up. so, i've been waiting for it to get cleared up until i contact them. i was hoping that was going to be dealt with months ago, but there seems to be a push from the top down to get people off disability. that means i might have to push back a little harder than i'd like to. i think an analysis of my life history makes it clear that i should be on disability, it's just a question of making that apparent.
the other thing is that i may be eligible for an artists' grant should the disability not work out, and i don't know how outstanding loans would affect that. i'll need to apply for that rather soon.
i'd ask that you tolerate this for a few more months, until i can get this cleared up. i know it's annoying, but i simply can't deal with what they want me to pay. they're expecting $1200/month. my income, with tax benefits, is $1150. so, it's impossible. but i can't claim i'm going to be on odsp because i can't get the papers.
my deadline is on the 13th of april, but i feel like my appointment on the 17th of february is going to let me know whether disability is something i can rely on or not
so, i'll be doing *something* in the next few weeks about this, but it's not yet clear what i can do.
i think i explained this story a few times, but i think i'm fighting against some misinformation spread by my sister. i wasn't supposed to have this debt in the first place, but i got suckered into it by my father. further, my step-mother is not upholding his obligations on the matter - rather, she's denying that the obligations exist. i suspect he may have been dishonest with her, and that the money he was supposed to use for this ended up lost in poker games, horse races or stock options. that is, he may have told her he was giving me money and gambled it away instead - perhaps even with the legitimate intention of winning money to give me. my father had a gambling problem. he kept it quiet, but he never really defeated it. when people have gambling problems like that, it can warp their thinking. that is, if my suspicion is correct, i don't doubt that he meant to use the cash he won to pay the debt down. it's just that it wasn't done transparently with his wife, and ultimately wasn't very smart, and now i'm stuck with the consequences of it.
i've tumbled this over in my mind a lot and have to conclude i'm at fault for putting myself in a reliant situation. but it doesn't change the reality that i got screwed over.
so, this is what happened...
when i got out of school the first time (in 2006) the debt was manageable. i managed to find a decent job that allowed me to get a nice apartment and pay into it. the monthly payments at the time were about $300 - about a third of which was interest to start, but it went down over time. i paid almost $10000 into it from 2006-2008. and i was also able to maintain a little nest egg for emergencies.
near the end of 2008, i was having difficulty finding employment. i still had that nest egg, so it wasn't really imperative that i find employment immediately. my dad was trying to get me to go back to school, but i specifically didn't want to increase my debt and resisted his requests. going back to school would have meant either going into debt or moving home, or both. it didn't seem like a smart decision, given that it didn't seem like going back to school was going to help me with my ambitions, which, at the time, were to simply find a job i could walk to, and focus on recording. i was hoping i could just wait it out and eventually get a job at starbucks or something. the one way i'd think it was worthwhile to go back to school is if he promised to pay both the rent and the schooling. it was offered almost sarcastically - i didn't think he'd actually agree to it. but, he did, which created an offer i couldn't refuse. i mean, if the choice is school or work and it doesn't cost me anything to go to school then school is always going to be the rational choice - school is more enjoyable than work, less scheduled, etc.
so, i applied for graduate school in mathematics and was accepted. at the end of august, though, i had second thoughts. i looked at the job market. i saw jobs in programming. my recent background was working tech support for hp and microsoft. i thought an undergraduate programming degree would be more marketable than a graduate degree in mathematics. i don't regret that decision; i think it was a correct analysis of the job market at the time.
however, a few things happened in the spring of 2008 - the markets crashed, primarily. combined with the higher dollar, foreign firms saw a disincentive to invest in job growth in canada. that didn't really change over the next few years.
the week before classes started, he told me that the market crash made it impossible to carry through with his promise. he encouraged me to take out a loan, and promised he'd pay it back by the end of the year. the problem was that i'd missed the loan deadline. so, i put my nest egg down to pay off the semester, expecting to get it back by the end of the year. i then applied for odsp starting in the winter. *that was the error i made that led to all the problems that followed*. i should have just looked for a job.
several semesters went by, and he kept promising me he'd pay it down, but it never happened. the loans just kept adding up. i had faith in him to carry out his promise. and, he was still promising he'd pay it down on his death bed.
about a week before he died, the three of us worked out an agreement. the step-mother would give me a few hundred dollars a month. but when i got back from windsor, she claimed he was "delusional on his death bed". i could probably sue her for this and win, but i don't want to spend the next ten years in a court battle. and, should i stay on odsp long enough, the loan will no doubt be "forgiven" anyways. i'd rather take this approach than spend who knows how much on court fees and untold amounts of time preparing legal arguments.
i just need odsp to follow through on it...
but i didn't want this mess. i specifically tried to avoid it. but i got suckered in by a promise that was never upheld.
it's very generous of you, thank you. i was worried there for a bit that somebody was holding it for some reason or another.
if you're curious, you can stream what i'm doing at this page:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com
i think maybe most of it might be a little too "modern" for your tastes. most of it is broadly categorized as "classical music", but it's classical music with distorted and often dissonant guitars, grating percussion and weird sound effects. i like beethoven (and you can often tell), but agree with his dismissive opinions on rossini. so, there's not much of that. it's more drawing from the tradition of varese, stockhausen, cage and zappa - and following that line of thinking as it evolved through integration with rock traditions through the 60s, 70s and 80s.
nana
glad to hear you got it!I am getting many phone calls for you regarding your student loans.Could you please get in touch with them.The calls are all on my answering machine.Yes I am curious to here your music so will stream it.Take care & stay in touch.
jessica
i'm sorry that they're bothering you about the loans. i don't want that to happen.
however, i've been trying to avoid them rather purposefully, as it's not clear what my financial situation is going to be over the next few years. if i could tell them "i'm on disability", it would put me in a no payment status. but, i can't do that until i get that cleared up. so, i've been waiting for it to get cleared up until i contact them. i was hoping that was going to be dealt with months ago, but there seems to be a push from the top down to get people off disability. that means i might have to push back a little harder than i'd like to. i think an analysis of my life history makes it clear that i should be on disability, it's just a question of making that apparent.
the other thing is that i may be eligible for an artists' grant should the disability not work out, and i don't know how outstanding loans would affect that. i'll need to apply for that rather soon.
i'd ask that you tolerate this for a few more months, until i can get this cleared up. i know it's annoying, but i simply can't deal with what they want me to pay. they're expecting $1200/month. my income, with tax benefits, is $1150. so, it's impossible. but i can't claim i'm going to be on odsp because i can't get the papers.
my deadline is on the 13th of april, but i feel like my appointment on the 17th of february is going to let me know whether disability is something i can rely on or not
so, i'll be doing *something* in the next few weeks about this, but it's not yet clear what i can do.
i think i explained this story a few times, but i think i'm fighting against some misinformation spread by my sister. i wasn't supposed to have this debt in the first place, but i got suckered into it by my father. further, my step-mother is not upholding his obligations on the matter - rather, she's denying that the obligations exist. i suspect he may have been dishonest with her, and that the money he was supposed to use for this ended up lost in poker games, horse races or stock options. that is, he may have told her he was giving me money and gambled it away instead - perhaps even with the legitimate intention of winning money to give me. my father had a gambling problem. he kept it quiet, but he never really defeated it. when people have gambling problems like that, it can warp their thinking. that is, if my suspicion is correct, i don't doubt that he meant to use the cash he won to pay the debt down. it's just that it wasn't done transparently with his wife, and ultimately wasn't very smart, and now i'm stuck with the consequences of it.
i've tumbled this over in my mind a lot and have to conclude i'm at fault for putting myself in a reliant situation. but it doesn't change the reality that i got screwed over.
so, this is what happened...
when i got out of school the first time (in 2006) the debt was manageable. i managed to find a decent job that allowed me to get a nice apartment and pay into it. the monthly payments at the time were about $300 - about a third of which was interest to start, but it went down over time. i paid almost $10000 into it from 2006-2008. and i was also able to maintain a little nest egg for emergencies.
near the end of 2008, i was having difficulty finding employment. i still had that nest egg, so it wasn't really imperative that i find employment immediately. my dad was trying to get me to go back to school, but i specifically didn't want to increase my debt and resisted his requests. going back to school would have meant either going into debt or moving home, or both. it didn't seem like a smart decision, given that it didn't seem like going back to school was going to help me with my ambitions, which, at the time, were to simply find a job i could walk to, and focus on recording. i was hoping i could just wait it out and eventually get a job at starbucks or something. the one way i'd think it was worthwhile to go back to school is if he promised to pay both the rent and the schooling. it was offered almost sarcastically - i didn't think he'd actually agree to it. but, he did, which created an offer i couldn't refuse. i mean, if the choice is school or work and it doesn't cost me anything to go to school then school is always going to be the rational choice - school is more enjoyable than work, less scheduled, etc.
so, i applied for graduate school in mathematics and was accepted. at the end of august, though, i had second thoughts. i looked at the job market. i saw jobs in programming. my recent background was working tech support for hp and microsoft. i thought an undergraduate programming degree would be more marketable than a graduate degree in mathematics. i don't regret that decision; i think it was a correct analysis of the job market at the time.
however, a few things happened in the spring of 2008 - the markets crashed, primarily. combined with the higher dollar, foreign firms saw a disincentive to invest in job growth in canada. that didn't really change over the next few years.
the week before classes started, he told me that the market crash made it impossible to carry through with his promise. he encouraged me to take out a loan, and promised he'd pay it back by the end of the year. the problem was that i'd missed the loan deadline. so, i put my nest egg down to pay off the semester, expecting to get it back by the end of the year. i then applied for odsp starting in the winter. *that was the error i made that led to all the problems that followed*. i should have just looked for a job.
several semesters went by, and he kept promising me he'd pay it down, but it never happened. the loans just kept adding up. i had faith in him to carry out his promise. and, he was still promising he'd pay it down on his death bed.
about a week before he died, the three of us worked out an agreement. the step-mother would give me a few hundred dollars a month. but when i got back from windsor, she claimed he was "delusional on his death bed". i could probably sue her for this and win, but i don't want to spend the next ten years in a court battle. and, should i stay on odsp long enough, the loan will no doubt be "forgiven" anyways. i'd rather take this approach than spend who knows how much on court fees and untold amounts of time preparing legal arguments.
i just need odsp to follow through on it...
but i didn't want this mess. i specifically tried to avoid it. but i got suckered in by a promise that was never upheld.
Thursday, January 29, 2015
just an update...
i was going to do a "dark mix" and a "jazz mix". but these components were present, and i didn't see where else to take them. so, i jumped to the final mix.
i started playing around with orchestrations and synths. so, now i'm doing an orchestral mix, and probably an ambient mix. they'll be up in the next few days.
what that means is that the final is going to need to integrate:
(1) the 2002 files with
(2) the base vst mix
(3) the orchestral arrangements
(4) the ambient mix
(5) added files (mostly guitars)
so, i've put something very big in front of me. that's ok. the other songs on the record are all also very big. but it means the eta is continuing to be pushed back.
i was hoping to get it out by the end of january. that's not likely. which means i'm not going to have a january release. i didn't have an august release, either. it takes how long it takes, y'know....
again: that's why i'd never trade this little fringe existence for timelines and schedules....
remember: nothing exists in one state. everything is fluctuating. i think songs should be like that, too.
i was going to do a "dark mix" and a "jazz mix". but these components were present, and i didn't see where else to take them. so, i jumped to the final mix.
i started playing around with orchestrations and synths. so, now i'm doing an orchestral mix, and probably an ambient mix. they'll be up in the next few days.
what that means is that the final is going to need to integrate:
(1) the 2002 files with
(2) the base vst mix
(3) the orchestral arrangements
(4) the ambient mix
(5) added files (mostly guitars)
so, i've put something very big in front of me. that's ok. the other songs on the record are all also very big. but it means the eta is continuing to be pushed back.
i was hoping to get it out by the end of january. that's not likely. which means i'm not going to have a january release. i didn't have an august release, either. it takes how long it takes, y'know....
again: that's why i'd never trade this little fringe existence for timelines and schedules....
remember: nothing exists in one state. everything is fluctuating. i think songs should be like that, too.
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
la la la la (2002 mix)
i'm squeezing an extra single in.
this was meant to be rabit is wolf. sean wanted a song that just went "lalalala". i think his intent was to try and simplify my thought process, because what i'd been doing sounded more like FTIeikdTY7isdD7E5dk!. he was just kind of like "how about.....lalalala.".
it got a bit of an eye roll from me, as you could imagine, but i played with it. he wasn't really that excited about what i did, and it just didn't move forward. there were no further sessions, as he became interested in working with a more conventional early 00s "emotional hardcore" (think at the drive in) style guitarist and i got very involved in a relationship
despite his initial suggestion, i'd consider the result to clearly be of my own doing. so, i took the core of what i did and warped it into the first track on the reflections symphony.
as his intentions are clear, i don't have a problem completing the vocals on my own, and it's what i'll be doing as inri043. there may have been a vocal part recorded, but i don't have it any more.
so, the ostrich thing is getting pushed back a release. this is going to be a relatively quick remix, with a simple vocal line. and i'm releasing it as rabit because it's collaborative in the abstract, despite sean not actually existing in the track.
for now, this was the initial forwards version of the song, which is only coming down to me over the space of time via mp3 and a collection of scattered source tracks. there's actual nothing but guitars in this version. it's dated to nov 15, 2002.
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/lalala-2002-mix
this was meant to be rabit is wolf. sean wanted a song that just went "lalalala". i think his intent was to try and simplify my thought process, because what i'd been doing sounded more like FTIeikdTY7isdD7E5dk!. he was just kind of like "how about.....lalalala.".
it got a bit of an eye roll from me, as you could imagine, but i played with it. he wasn't really that excited about what i did, and it just didn't move forward. there were no further sessions, as he became interested in working with a more conventional early 00s "emotional hardcore" (think at the drive in) style guitarist and i got very involved in a relationship
despite his initial suggestion, i'd consider the result to clearly be of my own doing. so, i took the core of what i did and warped it into the first track on the reflections symphony.
as his intentions are clear, i don't have a problem completing the vocals on my own, and it's what i'll be doing as inri043. there may have been a vocal part recorded, but i don't have it any more.
so, the ostrich thing is getting pushed back a release. this is going to be a relatively quick remix, with a simple vocal line. and i'm releasing it as rabit because it's collaborative in the abstract, despite sean not actually existing in the track.
for now, this was the initial forwards version of the song, which is only coming down to me over the space of time via mp3 and a collection of scattered source tracks. there's actual nothing but guitars in this version. it's dated to nov 15, 2002.
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/lalala-2002-mix
so, i think that bandcamp is providing the closest thing to a proper business model for independent artists in the internet era. it's not perfect, but it's vastly superior to what something like spotify is offering. those streaming sites are hypercapitalism, in the sense that they're bankrolling a bourgeoisie and giving the artists the finger. you shouldn't support that shit.
but in order for something more artist-friendly like bandcamp to exist, it has to be supported. i'm on the receiving end, and it's far from paying my bills, but i feel i should be supporting it, as well. so, i'm going to be investing a few dollars a month of money i'm making as profit to try and keep it spinning.
this is also going to function as a component of my review presence by drawing attention to independent artists that i think are doing something that's worth paying for. i do quite a bit of scouring and am incredibly selective. so, this page is going to be somewhat of an elite list of totally obscure music in a few months :)
https://bandcamp.com/deathtokoalas
regarding the streaming sites, i'd hazard a guess that google play will drive the others to irrelevancy within a few years because they're paying out upwards of a thousand times as much. i generated 20,000 hits at youtube over 2014. i've turned the ads off because it's not worth distracting people for fractions of a cent; maybe they might follow the ad instead of listening to the song, and then what's the point? but it would be about $20 on that 20,000 hits. yeah. ad revenue for youtube users is basically nothing.
spotify is even less than youtube ad revenue. i'd get pennies on 20,000 hits. google play is about 5 cents a stream - hundreds of times as much. now, i don't know what that means. 50% of a stream? just clicking play? it's about $1000 if any old hit counts. even if half of the hits count, it's worth signing up for.
but, like i say, i think this is a tactic and not sustainable in the long run. and, i don't see a way to drive traffic. rather than my 20,000 youtube hits as a baseline, it's more reasonable to look at my 2500 partial or complete bandcamp streams, which is more like $100. worth paying the signup fee for? not clear, really.
bandcamp maintains the buy-the-fucking-record-if-you-want-to-listen-to-it idea, which i'll admit i'm just kind of attached to. i do all these singles. but i make records, not singles. i'm willing to bend some ways as the technology changes, but in the end i have no intention or desire to modify the nature of the product. the marketing or distribution, sure. but not the thing itself. it's almost more that the streaming sites are borderline useless to me, other than as a way to convert the process of shopping for music into a profit making experience. which is weird.
i mean, i look at youtube as advertising. i'd look at google play as advertising as well. it's not the end purchase point; it can't be. you can talk about models and technology all you want, it can't be the final transaction. so, should i make money by advertising? it's a weird idea. and, the consumer ends up paying to access advertising, which is just as fucked. people think it's a great deal: $10/month for a huge library. but, it can't be the end transaction. so, it's more like $10/month to get access to the store to shop. like a costco type model...
even at five cents a stream, there's essentially no way to live off of this. so, everybody is getting ripped off except the people hosting the site. i just don't see where this goes, unless they plan to shut down youtube altogether....
....in which case, the torrents get even more traffic.
it has to be something like bandcamp, which lets you listen to it as a stream all you want but charges when you want to download it or add it to a library. nothing else is going to get artist support, or be able to maintain independent music.
if you search around online, the best argument anybody has for signing up to spotify is "exposure". but nobody explains what this means. personally, i haven't a clue how signing up to a library with millions of songs is going to increase exposure. rather, it seems like a good way to get your tunes lost. i mean, the chances of some algorithm throwing me up seem pretty remote. the only way to get people to hear things is to market it. i need to give people links. where it's hosted is not important. so, it's just another hosting site, as far as i'm concerned....just one with a really bad payout.
but in order for something more artist-friendly like bandcamp to exist, it has to be supported. i'm on the receiving end, and it's far from paying my bills, but i feel i should be supporting it, as well. so, i'm going to be investing a few dollars a month of money i'm making as profit to try and keep it spinning.
this is also going to function as a component of my review presence by drawing attention to independent artists that i think are doing something that's worth paying for. i do quite a bit of scouring and am incredibly selective. so, this page is going to be somewhat of an elite list of totally obscure music in a few months :)
https://bandcamp.com/deathtokoalas
regarding the streaming sites, i'd hazard a guess that google play will drive the others to irrelevancy within a few years because they're paying out upwards of a thousand times as much. i generated 20,000 hits at youtube over 2014. i've turned the ads off because it's not worth distracting people for fractions of a cent; maybe they might follow the ad instead of listening to the song, and then what's the point? but it would be about $20 on that 20,000 hits. yeah. ad revenue for youtube users is basically nothing.
spotify is even less than youtube ad revenue. i'd get pennies on 20,000 hits. google play is about 5 cents a stream - hundreds of times as much. now, i don't know what that means. 50% of a stream? just clicking play? it's about $1000 if any old hit counts. even if half of the hits count, it's worth signing up for.
but, like i say, i think this is a tactic and not sustainable in the long run. and, i don't see a way to drive traffic. rather than my 20,000 youtube hits as a baseline, it's more reasonable to look at my 2500 partial or complete bandcamp streams, which is more like $100. worth paying the signup fee for? not clear, really.
bandcamp maintains the buy-the-fucking-record-if-you-want-to-listen-to-it idea, which i'll admit i'm just kind of attached to. i do all these singles. but i make records, not singles. i'm willing to bend some ways as the technology changes, but in the end i have no intention or desire to modify the nature of the product. the marketing or distribution, sure. but not the thing itself. it's almost more that the streaming sites are borderline useless to me, other than as a way to convert the process of shopping for music into a profit making experience. which is weird.
i mean, i look at youtube as advertising. i'd look at google play as advertising as well. it's not the end purchase point; it can't be. you can talk about models and technology all you want, it can't be the final transaction. so, should i make money by advertising? it's a weird idea. and, the consumer ends up paying to access advertising, which is just as fucked. people think it's a great deal: $10/month for a huge library. but, it can't be the end transaction. so, it's more like $10/month to get access to the store to shop. like a costco type model...
even at five cents a stream, there's essentially no way to live off of this. so, everybody is getting ripped off except the people hosting the site. i just don't see where this goes, unless they plan to shut down youtube altogether....
....in which case, the torrents get even more traffic.
it has to be something like bandcamp, which lets you listen to it as a stream all you want but charges when you want to download it or add it to a library. nothing else is going to get artist support, or be able to maintain independent music.
if you search around online, the best argument anybody has for signing up to spotify is "exposure". but nobody explains what this means. personally, i haven't a clue how signing up to a library with millions of songs is going to increase exposure. rather, it seems like a good way to get your tunes lost. i mean, the chances of some algorithm throwing me up seem pretty remote. the only way to get people to hear things is to market it. i need to give people links. where it's hosted is not important. so, it's just another hosting site, as far as i'm concerned....just one with a really bad payout.
untitled (vst mix) (for thru)
i decided the vst mix is good after all, it just needs volume....
--
this track was initially written as a folk punk song, but i jumped to the scorewriter with it almost immediately. the expanded guitar demo was written in a scorewriter and then performed, rather than vice versa. it was initially less about explicitly creating a techno song and more about ordering the parts in a way that could be deconstructed more effectively.
the taiko drum part was initially just to keep time; it wasn't supposed to be a part of the song. but, as i built it up i began to realize how interesting it sounded as a techno tune and sort of ran with it.
written over the summer of 2002. remixed in december, 2014. this render is from dec 26, 2014. as always, please use headphones.
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/untitled-3
--
this track was initially written as a folk punk song, but i jumped to the scorewriter with it almost immediately. the expanded guitar demo was written in a scorewriter and then performed, rather than vice versa. it was initially less about explicitly creating a techno song and more about ordering the parts in a way that could be deconstructed more effectively.
the taiko drum part was initially just to keep time; it wasn't supposed to be a part of the song. but, as i built it up i began to realize how interesting it sounded as a techno tune and sort of ran with it.
written over the summer of 2002. remixed in december, 2014. this render is from dec 26, 2014. as always, please use headphones.
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/untitled-3
releasing inri001 in the alter-reality
moving through the alter-reality, i've worked my way up to the release date of my second demo, now labelled as inri002. that's a good chunk of time - nine months - and represents my gestation phase as a musician, which is coming to it's end.
there will be a month long period after this where i cycle through the material, culminating in the release of a condensed mix tape of inri001 and inri002 (called inri003), which has been dated to july, 1997. there will be a two month delay before inri004 ushers in the beginning of my experimental synth pop and cyberpunk phase.
but this is a significant shifting point in the alter-reality. i'll admit i'm a little tired of people pointing to these early demos and trying to compare them to contemporary lo-fi music. it was lo-fi out of necessity, not by design. i set up my promo like this for a reason, part of which was to create that reaction, so i'm being an ass in reacting badly to it. but i'm nevertheless glad to be moving beyond it.
so, there's three months still until inr004. but this is where the cassette demos stopped, and i shifted focus.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-cassette-demo-2
there will be a month long period after this where i cycle through the material, culminating in the release of a condensed mix tape of inri001 and inri002 (called inri003), which has been dated to july, 1997. there will be a two month delay before inri004 ushers in the beginning of my experimental synth pop and cyberpunk phase.
but this is a significant shifting point in the alter-reality. i'll admit i'm a little tired of people pointing to these early demos and trying to compare them to contemporary lo-fi music. it was lo-fi out of necessity, not by design. i set up my promo like this for a reason, part of which was to create that reaction, so i'm being an ass in reacting badly to it. but i'm nevertheless glad to be moving beyond it.
so, there's three months still until inr004. but this is where the cassette demos stopped, and i shifted focus.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-cassette-demo-2
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
untitled (intended original mix)
ok.
i've decided to keep the intro guitar part out of the 2002 mix, because i'm going to soundscape the fuck out of it in ways that i couldn't have really done at the time and it just doesn't sound good in raw form.
so, this mix is done. the rss will update. i'm back at the three vst mixes for tomorrow.
when this comes up, crank the bass on it....
carefully. it's potentially speaker-blowing. but it's made to rock the low end hard.
that was the hard part, this should be quick from this point.
this compiles all the 2002 files into a mix that is as close as i can get it to sounding as i initially imagined it back in 2002. mix completed jan 27, 2015.
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/untitled-intended-original-mix
i've decided to keep the intro guitar part out of the 2002 mix, because i'm going to soundscape the fuck out of it in ways that i couldn't have really done at the time and it just doesn't sound good in raw form.
so, this mix is done. the rss will update. i'm back at the three vst mixes for tomorrow.
when this comes up, crank the bass on it....
carefully. it's potentially speaker-blowing. but it's made to rock the low end hard.
that was the hard part, this should be quick from this point.
this compiles all the 2002 files into a mix that is as close as i can get it to sounding as i initially imagined it back in 2002. mix completed jan 27, 2015.
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/untitled-intended-original-mix
Monday, January 26, 2015
well, i got around this by finding a deleted version and carefully reconstructing it. it's back to where it should be, which tells me there was something wrong with the cubase file. i'm still having a hard time understanding what's going on without resorting to interception, but i do think that cubase can get a little bit weird when you back files up to an alternate drive and that it's a way out of thinking it's the government spying on me. the thing is i'm not convinced.
but something was corrupted, and it's been fixed by going to an earlier version before it got fucked. this basically means i have to finish it before it gets fucked up again. so expect the mix relatively soon. i was really at the point where i just had to mix some synths in before it started sounding like crap - it was basically done. the only other thing is that guitar part which i wanted to cut into a hundred pieces but may have to find some other approach to...
it's very hard for me to explain the following.
1) no latency issues.
2) sleep.
3) latency issues.
4) find old file.
5) modify old file so it's identical to newest file.
6) no latency issues.
how can latency issues depend on the file? that's nonsense...
and they appeared out of nowhere.
as mentioned, there's a pattern here. stuff disappearing. settings modifying. etc.
but i've got a window here, i need to use it...
but something was corrupted, and it's been fixed by going to an earlier version before it got fucked. this basically means i have to finish it before it gets fucked up again. so expect the mix relatively soon. i was really at the point where i just had to mix some synths in before it started sounding like crap - it was basically done. the only other thing is that guitar part which i wanted to cut into a hundred pieces but may have to find some other approach to...
it's very hard for me to explain the following.
1) no latency issues.
2) sleep.
3) latency issues.
4) find old file.
5) modify old file so it's identical to newest file.
6) no latency issues.
how can latency issues depend on the file? that's nonsense...
and they appeared out of nowhere.
as mentioned, there's a pattern here. stuff disappearing. settings modifying. etc.
but i've got a window here, i need to use it...
so, who is the fucker at the mixing desk?
i've let on a few times that i'm conceiving of him as the comic book guy, chowing down doritos that are falling out of his mouth and on to the board and muttering "no, no, this is all wrong - she means to do it like *this*.", which promptly leads me to want to strangle him.
i'm getting the perception, recently, that the surveillance is a little more sophisticated, which is leading me to question my perceptions.
who is the fucker at the mixing desk? i don't know, but it's becoming unbearable and i consequently need to request - again - that this ceases. my time is being wasted, and i don't have a lot of it left...
i spent a good part of the last week on this, and got to the point about friday where i could get a rough mix out. over the last few days, i've been lethargic - partially depressed that the out doesn't sound the same, partially refraining from nicotine. today, i began to notice that the file is skipping very badly and narrowed it down to a latency issue.
now, here's the thing: there was not previously a latency issue. i did not add any effects or buses or anything at all. it's the same file. one does not go from no latency issues to latency issues for no reason.
the one thing that i did change was that i unplugged from the internet....
now, here's the thing that is consistent with the other evidence i've compiled that my audio is connected to an external server: the direct out rendered the way it should, even as the playback sounded muffled and was skipping. that itself is not unusual. but what it indicates is that the processor is picking up extra shit on playback. that it wasn't picking up before. what, exactly?
now, as mentioned, i'm unplugged from the internet. there's no wireless in this machine at all. that doesn't mean remote operation is impossible, but it means that:
(1) it would be slow and
(2) it would require some expertise.
i'm not going to pretend that i know how to do this, but if you check any electronic device manufactured in north america there's a little statement on the back that states "we can remote control this with radio". this applies to everything from your cell phone to your microwave. but it means i'm not talking about a fucker at a mixing desk, i'm talking about a fucker at csis, and the noise and clicking and screwed up mixes i'm getting is essentially a byproduct of being monitored.
the logic may be along the lines of "if she doesn't want to buy a phone, we'll monitor her mixer instead".
so, listen....
....you idiots....
...you can clearly hear that all you're picking up is the music. and, you're interfering in my music production rather dramatically, whether you mean to or not. i'm not attempting to cut you out because i'm trying to hide my riffs and beats from you. i'm trying to cut you out because you're fucking up the monitor on the mix by adding empty space, which is killing the definition and making everything sound compressed.
i tend to be transparent, because i realize it's a better idea for the intelligence agencies to understand what they're dealing with to prevent misunderstandings. for example, i think it's a good thing for them to know i don't own any weapons, because it will prevent any overreactions. so, the idea of being listened to is actually something i'm indifferent to. i recognize the potential for abuse and think it shouldn't happen, but it's not something that really seriously bothers me on a personal level.
but, this is interference, and that's something very different.
i'm not plugging back in until i'm confident that the radio hack has stopped. and, from that point forward, what i want is for the software used to be updated so that it doesn't interfere with the people being monitored. which is probably a good idea anyways.
again: i'm ignoring the stupidity of the fact that you're monitoring a composer with no income and no friends. i don't have the time or interest to drag this through court; that's a waste of my time. i'm just demanding that, if you're going to monitor me, you do it in a way that is non-invasive.
in the meantime, i'm going to have to mix from render. which means i'm going to have to render the track every time i touch the mix. this is extremely time consuming. but you leave me no choice until you fuck off...
the blunt reality is that there's nothing to monitor. i make music, i read, and i eat. i do this entirely by myself. there's no hidden network. i simply don't know anybody.
so, it's not that i'm hiding connections and you need to monitor me to find them. it's that i don't see any use in paying for a device i'll never use. and, that you're basically harassing somebody that is of no use to you.
so, stop.
let me mix....
i've let on a few times that i'm conceiving of him as the comic book guy, chowing down doritos that are falling out of his mouth and on to the board and muttering "no, no, this is all wrong - she means to do it like *this*.", which promptly leads me to want to strangle him.
i'm getting the perception, recently, that the surveillance is a little more sophisticated, which is leading me to question my perceptions.
who is the fucker at the mixing desk? i don't know, but it's becoming unbearable and i consequently need to request - again - that this ceases. my time is being wasted, and i don't have a lot of it left...
i spent a good part of the last week on this, and got to the point about friday where i could get a rough mix out. over the last few days, i've been lethargic - partially depressed that the out doesn't sound the same, partially refraining from nicotine. today, i began to notice that the file is skipping very badly and narrowed it down to a latency issue.
now, here's the thing: there was not previously a latency issue. i did not add any effects or buses or anything at all. it's the same file. one does not go from no latency issues to latency issues for no reason.
the one thing that i did change was that i unplugged from the internet....
now, here's the thing that is consistent with the other evidence i've compiled that my audio is connected to an external server: the direct out rendered the way it should, even as the playback sounded muffled and was skipping. that itself is not unusual. but what it indicates is that the processor is picking up extra shit on playback. that it wasn't picking up before. what, exactly?
now, as mentioned, i'm unplugged from the internet. there's no wireless in this machine at all. that doesn't mean remote operation is impossible, but it means that:
(1) it would be slow and
(2) it would require some expertise.
i'm not going to pretend that i know how to do this, but if you check any electronic device manufactured in north america there's a little statement on the back that states "we can remote control this with radio". this applies to everything from your cell phone to your microwave. but it means i'm not talking about a fucker at a mixing desk, i'm talking about a fucker at csis, and the noise and clicking and screwed up mixes i'm getting is essentially a byproduct of being monitored.
the logic may be along the lines of "if she doesn't want to buy a phone, we'll monitor her mixer instead".
so, listen....
....you idiots....
...you can clearly hear that all you're picking up is the music. and, you're interfering in my music production rather dramatically, whether you mean to or not. i'm not attempting to cut you out because i'm trying to hide my riffs and beats from you. i'm trying to cut you out because you're fucking up the monitor on the mix by adding empty space, which is killing the definition and making everything sound compressed.
i tend to be transparent, because i realize it's a better idea for the intelligence agencies to understand what they're dealing with to prevent misunderstandings. for example, i think it's a good thing for them to know i don't own any weapons, because it will prevent any overreactions. so, the idea of being listened to is actually something i'm indifferent to. i recognize the potential for abuse and think it shouldn't happen, but it's not something that really seriously bothers me on a personal level.
but, this is interference, and that's something very different.
i'm not plugging back in until i'm confident that the radio hack has stopped. and, from that point forward, what i want is for the software used to be updated so that it doesn't interfere with the people being monitored. which is probably a good idea anyways.
again: i'm ignoring the stupidity of the fact that you're monitoring a composer with no income and no friends. i don't have the time or interest to drag this through court; that's a waste of my time. i'm just demanding that, if you're going to monitor me, you do it in a way that is non-invasive.
in the meantime, i'm going to have to mix from render. which means i'm going to have to render the track every time i touch the mix. this is extremely time consuming. but you leave me no choice until you fuck off...
the blunt reality is that there's nothing to monitor. i make music, i read, and i eat. i do this entirely by myself. there's no hidden network. i simply don't know anybody.
so, it's not that i'm hiding connections and you need to monitor me to find them. it's that i don't see any use in paying for a device i'll never use. and, that you're basically harassing somebody that is of no use to you.
so, stop.
let me mix....
Sunday, January 25, 2015
i'm getting this weird "fucker at the mixing desk" vibe again. it's completely disconnected, beyond any possible remote...yet, the sound is noticeably different...
i've decided i'm not fucking around with this. i'm not being careful about it. i'm not waiting for reversals. if i think the mix has been modified, i will drastically alter it. i may blow it up and start from scratch.
i feel i have to take a zero tolerance approach to get the message across: if you alter my mixes, it will cost you a lot of money. so stop.
i will ensure that the time i'm losing in mixing things is being lost, monetarily, by whomever is fucking with me. and, if it means i get nothing else done before i kill myself next month, then whoever is responsible for that will need to be judged by history for it....
i've decided i'm not fucking around with this. i'm not being careful about it. i'm not waiting for reversals. if i think the mix has been modified, i will drastically alter it. i may blow it up and start from scratch.
i feel i have to take a zero tolerance approach to get the message across: if you alter my mixes, it will cost you a lot of money. so stop.
i will ensure that the time i'm losing in mixing things is being lost, monetarily, by whomever is fucking with me. and, if it means i get nothing else done before i kill myself next month, then whoever is responsible for that will need to be judged by history for it....
Friday, January 23, 2015
uploading transitional untitled to the scratch pad
i've uploaded a temporary mix to the scratchpad that represents a properly mixed version of the track as it would have existed had i not run out of ram when mixing it back in 2002. i'm not putting this up at bandcamp because of it's transitional nature; the next mix will take this transition mix as a core and work in the other parts i recorded in 2002. there will be a final mix that adds in some extra synths, and maybe some new guitar parts...
as always with the scratchpad (accessible from the about section), ideas are welcome - even though i'll probably ignore them. this will only be up until i'm done the next mix, which will probably be this afternoon....
as always with the scratchpad (accessible from the about section), ideas are welcome - even though i'll probably ignore them. this will only be up until i'm done the next mix, which will probably be this afternoon....
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
ostrich
it's been a while since i uploaded anything totally new, so i'm going to jump ahead a little with this. it's not clear how i'll be presenting this, yet.
this is an abandoned mix from late 2002 (uploaded unmodified) and will be the track i'll be working on next.
as this is the last track of the jjjjjjjjjjj phase, i'm going to finish this as an epic. it's an exceedingly rough skeleton. i thought i had more of a score than i do, so i'm going to have to score it first. again: i thought this would be sort of quick, but it clearly needs a lot of work.
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/abandoned-mix
this is an abandoned mix from late 2002 (uploaded unmodified) and will be the track i'll be working on next.
as this is the last track of the jjjjjjjjjjj phase, i'm going to finish this as an epic. it's an exceedingly rough skeleton. i thought i had more of a score than i do, so i'm going to have to score it first. again: i thought this would be sort of quick, but it clearly needs a lot of work.
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/abandoned-mix
yeah. i'm feeling myself moving out of the dead phase and into the manic phase. let's get this fucker done...
what i need to do is just sit down and put the thing on repeat and tweak it mildly until what i want comes out. i keep saying this won't take long, but i'm realizing this was a false projection. it's gonna be a while...
what i need to do is just sit down and put the thing on repeat and tweak it mildly until what i want comes out. i keep saying this won't take long, but i'm realizing this was a false projection. it's gonna be a while...
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
grargh.
i'm having difficulty focusing. with all the other stuff i'm always going on about, if you had a bit of an outline of my life you'd maybe question why i'm not wondering about add. i'm kind of textbook, actually. but it's never really been something i can't get over. and i'm not about to start popping crack-cocaine....
to answer the question directly? i don't accept the existence of add. i think it's just an excuse to sell drugs to kids. sorry.
so, what's really going on?
well, i've been through this before. repeatedly. it's generally driven by a feeling of ineptitude. meaning it's more like a type of depression that sets in when the tasks in front of me aren't easy to complete. i think this stems from not going through a lot of difficulty as a kid. i was a gifted kid. i didn't learn to struggle. i didn't learn to compete; there was nobody to compete with. i wasn't faced with something i couldn't do with minimal effort until i was in my 20s, and i simply didn't know how to approach the situation. i kind of go into these states of shock, instead, where i can't address what i'm supposed to be addressing.
when i know i can get what i want out of my tools, i tend to be very efficient. it's when i'm not sure how i'm going to proceed that i start to procrastinate. it's the same thing with all aspects of my life. if i know how i'm going to approach an essay, it's done relatively quickly. if i don't, it's not done until the last minute, or a week past the due date.
what it exposes isn't some kind of chemical imbalance that can be fixed with drugs. it's more like a reversed value system. i don't have this "protestant work ethic". and i don't glorify hard work. rather, i expect to be talented enough to do things without trying, and i get depressed when i realize i'm not.
i don't find forcing it helps. it has to pass. but what's pissing me off at this particular point in time is that the amount of time i have left is probably limited. i'll find out on the 17th. but it's very likely that i will take my own life sometime between april and july, as my disability runs out and i'm left without further acceptable options. i should be getting as much done as i can...
instead, i find myself wasting time on youtube.
my goal over this period was supposed to be to get a whole lot done. but i've wasted most of the last month, and am not really clear when this is going to lift.
if i'm not able to focus on this track within a day or two, i'm going to have to skip it and come back to it.
the first time i EVER received ANY grade less than 70 was in the second year of university.
there's been a lot written about why c students end up managing things, and a students end up as drone workers. a big part of it is no doubt due to reducing independent thought in management, which is a fundamental tactic of the class war. that is, the big bosses don't want the little bosses to be smart - they just want them to be obedient. but i think another part of it is that kids with lower grades are more resilient. they have to fight harder, younger. it becomes a more dominant component of their life.
somebody like me that walks into the eighth grade, gets thrown out for picking on the teacher and then gets an a anyways because i was at a twelfth grade level when i was 8 just spends that whole process in stasis, whereas somebody that's moving at the grade level in the way the system demands is constantly struggling and learning.
at the end of it, i spent high school tossing planes and smoking pot - and still got an a average because i could have passed an equivalency test in the 7th, before i set foot in the place. the kid that struggled through with a B- consequently learned a whole lot more than i did, both scholastically and non-scholastically. when the kid that struggled walks out of school, they're walking into a world they were prepared for. when i walked out of school, i was walking into a world i didn't understand at all.
i guess it took me ten years just to figure that out.
and, at the moment, i haven't the faintest clue how to address it.
all i know is that, when i'm faced with a challenge, i tend to get depressed and give up rather than become determined and try harder.
i'm having difficulty focusing. with all the other stuff i'm always going on about, if you had a bit of an outline of my life you'd maybe question why i'm not wondering about add. i'm kind of textbook, actually. but it's never really been something i can't get over. and i'm not about to start popping crack-cocaine....
to answer the question directly? i don't accept the existence of add. i think it's just an excuse to sell drugs to kids. sorry.
so, what's really going on?
well, i've been through this before. repeatedly. it's generally driven by a feeling of ineptitude. meaning it's more like a type of depression that sets in when the tasks in front of me aren't easy to complete. i think this stems from not going through a lot of difficulty as a kid. i was a gifted kid. i didn't learn to struggle. i didn't learn to compete; there was nobody to compete with. i wasn't faced with something i couldn't do with minimal effort until i was in my 20s, and i simply didn't know how to approach the situation. i kind of go into these states of shock, instead, where i can't address what i'm supposed to be addressing.
when i know i can get what i want out of my tools, i tend to be very efficient. it's when i'm not sure how i'm going to proceed that i start to procrastinate. it's the same thing with all aspects of my life. if i know how i'm going to approach an essay, it's done relatively quickly. if i don't, it's not done until the last minute, or a week past the due date.
what it exposes isn't some kind of chemical imbalance that can be fixed with drugs. it's more like a reversed value system. i don't have this "protestant work ethic". and i don't glorify hard work. rather, i expect to be talented enough to do things without trying, and i get depressed when i realize i'm not.
i don't find forcing it helps. it has to pass. but what's pissing me off at this particular point in time is that the amount of time i have left is probably limited. i'll find out on the 17th. but it's very likely that i will take my own life sometime between april and july, as my disability runs out and i'm left without further acceptable options. i should be getting as much done as i can...
instead, i find myself wasting time on youtube.
my goal over this period was supposed to be to get a whole lot done. but i've wasted most of the last month, and am not really clear when this is going to lift.
if i'm not able to focus on this track within a day or two, i'm going to have to skip it and come back to it.
the first time i EVER received ANY grade less than 70 was in the second year of university.
there's been a lot written about why c students end up managing things, and a students end up as drone workers. a big part of it is no doubt due to reducing independent thought in management, which is a fundamental tactic of the class war. that is, the big bosses don't want the little bosses to be smart - they just want them to be obedient. but i think another part of it is that kids with lower grades are more resilient. they have to fight harder, younger. it becomes a more dominant component of their life.
somebody like me that walks into the eighth grade, gets thrown out for picking on the teacher and then gets an a anyways because i was at a twelfth grade level when i was 8 just spends that whole process in stasis, whereas somebody that's moving at the grade level in the way the system demands is constantly struggling and learning.
at the end of it, i spent high school tossing planes and smoking pot - and still got an a average because i could have passed an equivalency test in the 7th, before i set foot in the place. the kid that struggled through with a B- consequently learned a whole lot more than i did, both scholastically and non-scholastically. when the kid that struggled walks out of school, they're walking into a world they were prepared for. when i walked out of school, i was walking into a world i didn't understand at all.
i guess it took me ten years just to figure that out.
and, at the moment, i haven't the faintest clue how to address it.
all i know is that, when i'm faced with a challenge, i tend to get depressed and give up rather than become determined and try harder.
Sunday, January 18, 2015
super sore right arm...
the first thing that jumps to mind is that i've been dealing with a lot of symptoms of ms lately, and it's more evidence. but i feel that's jumping to conclusions. it might be correct, but what else could it be?
sore arm = heart attack? it's on the right side, which doesn't *really* matter. but it feels like a muscle issue. i've had my blood pressure checked several times over the last few months, and it's actually very low. so, i'm going to write that off as obscure.
carpal tunnel syndrome? don't laugh. i do absurd amounts of typing, and noticed my left wrist was a little sore the other day. i think i'm going to want to monitor that. but it's a little too high up in the arm.
for right now, i'm actually going to merely assume that i pulled it a little doing groceries yesterday. i ended up with a bigger bag of fruit than i was expecting because the strawberries and bananas were both on sale. and i had a coffee in the other hand, along with a knapsack full of soy milk and oj, because it was also on sale. so, it was a big haul. i felt it as i was walking, but not when i got home; then again, you generally don't notice it until you wake up.
i do a lot of walking, but no muscle training, so i'm in very good health but weak as a twig. the solution is to fix my bicycle and start using it...
a sore arm probably won't slow me down tonight, but it might. we'll have to see if it prevents me from sitting up or if i'm going to have to spend the night in bed.
the first thing that jumps to mind is that i've been dealing with a lot of symptoms of ms lately, and it's more evidence. but i feel that's jumping to conclusions. it might be correct, but what else could it be?
sore arm = heart attack? it's on the right side, which doesn't *really* matter. but it feels like a muscle issue. i've had my blood pressure checked several times over the last few months, and it's actually very low. so, i'm going to write that off as obscure.
carpal tunnel syndrome? don't laugh. i do absurd amounts of typing, and noticed my left wrist was a little sore the other day. i think i'm going to want to monitor that. but it's a little too high up in the arm.
for right now, i'm actually going to merely assume that i pulled it a little doing groceries yesterday. i ended up with a bigger bag of fruit than i was expecting because the strawberries and bananas were both on sale. and i had a coffee in the other hand, along with a knapsack full of soy milk and oj, because it was also on sale. so, it was a big haul. i felt it as i was walking, but not when i got home; then again, you generally don't notice it until you wake up.
i do a lot of walking, but no muscle training, so i'm in very good health but weak as a twig. the solution is to fix my bicycle and start using it...
a sore arm probably won't slow me down tonight, but it might. we'll have to see if it prevents me from sitting up or if i'm going to have to spend the night in bed.
this bloody track....
i've been experimenting with it off and on for thirteen years and it just won't connect.
but it will. it must. dammit...
i'm considering deconstructing the drum collage, which is built up from about fifty samples and is going to be a lengthy process. having the bass drum and cymbal crashes in the same file just isn't mixing well, as i really want to equalize them separately.
but there's a few things i want to try before i do that, because it's going to lead to a drastic change in the track that i want to avoid. like, i want to remix it, not rewrite it. this is a track that has all the components i want, but that i could just never mix the way i wanted it.
another problem is that the source is not clean, and the effects are mostly rather dry. it was the first time working in a real daw, and i didn't have the necessary foresight....
so, i may have to redo some of the guitars, but it's going to be a last resort.
i very, very rarely feel as though i need outside production help. but with all the focus i spend on effects and mixing, it's worthwhile to point out that i'm an experimental guitarist, i'm not a producer. this is the rare moment where i might want to talk to a techno producer about some specific eq/compression choices...
in the end, though, experimenting is the only possible approach, regardless of knowledge or experience levels.
it will sound "right" soon enough. just gotta keep tweaking it
i mean, i have tools available to me now that i didn't have then. i have no excuse not to nail it. and i will nail it.
i've been experimenting with it off and on for thirteen years and it just won't connect.
but it will. it must. dammit...
i'm considering deconstructing the drum collage, which is built up from about fifty samples and is going to be a lengthy process. having the bass drum and cymbal crashes in the same file just isn't mixing well, as i really want to equalize them separately.
but there's a few things i want to try before i do that, because it's going to lead to a drastic change in the track that i want to avoid. like, i want to remix it, not rewrite it. this is a track that has all the components i want, but that i could just never mix the way i wanted it.
another problem is that the source is not clean, and the effects are mostly rather dry. it was the first time working in a real daw, and i didn't have the necessary foresight....
so, i may have to redo some of the guitars, but it's going to be a last resort.
i very, very rarely feel as though i need outside production help. but with all the focus i spend on effects and mixing, it's worthwhile to point out that i'm an experimental guitarist, i'm not a producer. this is the rare moment where i might want to talk to a techno producer about some specific eq/compression choices...
in the end, though, experimenting is the only possible approach, regardless of knowledge or experience levels.
it will sound "right" soon enough. just gotta keep tweaking it
i mean, i have tools available to me now that i didn't have then. i have no excuse not to nail it. and i will nail it.
Saturday, January 17, 2015
untitled (out of ram mix)
so, i've spent most of the night listening to two nearly identical versions of this track and trying to decide which one i want to use.
when i initially recorded the track in cakewalk (as an experiment with the program) on a windows 98 machine, i ran out of ram after eight tracks and had to go back to my normal wave editor collage-build mixing process to finish it. unfortunately, i didn't really like the edits i made and ended up defaulting to this version for many years. however, it was only saved in mp3...
on aug 11, 2010, i converted the track to 32-bit directly from the mp3 (which i verified in dec, 2014 via phase inversion) and uploaded it to bandcamp, as a part of the never really finished and with now unclear future tetris project. while i don't feel that the sound quality of the track is sufficient to act as a base for a final version, the process of compressing, decompressing and then converting to 32-bit produced something special on the bottom end that i feel is worth keeping for it's own sake. however, i'm going to have to keep the track as download-only for two reasons. the first is that i'd have to convert back to 16-bit to burn it. the second is that there's not going to be room on the disc for it, anyways.
so, i'm leaving that as it is - and the next thing i'm going to do is revisit the remix of this that i did to emulate it. now, yes, i'm going to take a snapshot at this point, but it's also going to act as the core of the final mix, so it's going to have to be a little more produced sounding. that's kind of why i felt the need to make this available. it seemed foolish to sit there and try and make a clean mix sound like a muddled mp3 mix; i got a cool bass sound out of the compression, and i should just let that be. if i'm going to remix it, it makes more sense to remix it for optimal quality.
so, that's the next thing. i've got a few hours to blow while i wait for the temperature to hit zero, then i need to do groceries. it won't be done today, but it will probably be done and uploaded for tomorrow.
this is dated to sept 1, 2002.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/untitled-original-out-of-ram-mix
when i initially recorded the track in cakewalk (as an experiment with the program) on a windows 98 machine, i ran out of ram after eight tracks and had to go back to my normal wave editor collage-build mixing process to finish it. unfortunately, i didn't really like the edits i made and ended up defaulting to this version for many years. however, it was only saved in mp3...
on aug 11, 2010, i converted the track to 32-bit directly from the mp3 (which i verified in dec, 2014 via phase inversion) and uploaded it to bandcamp, as a part of the never really finished and with now unclear future tetris project. while i don't feel that the sound quality of the track is sufficient to act as a base for a final version, the process of compressing, decompressing and then converting to 32-bit produced something special on the bottom end that i feel is worth keeping for it's own sake. however, i'm going to have to keep the track as download-only for two reasons. the first is that i'd have to convert back to 16-bit to burn it. the second is that there's not going to be room on the disc for it, anyways.
so, i'm leaving that as it is - and the next thing i'm going to do is revisit the remix of this that i did to emulate it. now, yes, i'm going to take a snapshot at this point, but it's also going to act as the core of the final mix, so it's going to have to be a little more produced sounding. that's kind of why i felt the need to make this available. it seemed foolish to sit there and try and make a clean mix sound like a muddled mp3 mix; i got a cool bass sound out of the compression, and i should just let that be. if i'm going to remix it, it makes more sense to remix it for optimal quality.
so, that's the next thing. i've got a few hours to blow while i wait for the temperature to hit zero, then i need to do groceries. it won't be done today, but it will probably be done and uploaded for tomorrow.
this is dated to sept 1, 2002.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/untitled-original-out-of-ram-mix
i saw it again out the window tonight...
it's definitely too small to be a cougar, but the tail is too big to be a house cat.
it might be a fisher.
this is outside the fisher range, though. hrmmn. it's in the "historic range".
it could have been a pet. either way, i don't think it's cause for concern. there's my "testing" and neutralizing...
i mean, fishers are violent, nasty things. no doubt. but they're not powerful enough to pose me a serious threat the way a mountain lion would...
it's definitely too small to be a cougar, but the tail is too big to be a house cat.
it might be a fisher.
this is outside the fisher range, though. hrmmn. it's in the "historic range".
it could have been a pet. either way, i don't think it's cause for concern. there's my "testing" and neutralizing...
i mean, fishers are violent, nasty things. no doubt. but they're not powerful enough to pose me a serious threat the way a mountain lion would...
removing corrupted files from youtube
i just took four more songs down and will promise to be more careful about uploading things in the future. everything up here is now done, with the exception of that intro track which needs to be completed.
taken down...
1) this is out of sync and will require a re-render. it was rendered in a hurry on equipment i wouldn't normally use to render and i didn't even think to check the latency.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/orb-symphony
2) this is the track i'm currently working on completing, and a complete version will be the next upload.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/untitled-ep-single
3 & 4 were stranded versions of the following tracks:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/strung-out
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/trepanation-nation
they were all uploaded haphazardly when my drive crashed, and, again i lost hits on that. that's about 1000 lost hits. but they weren't done...
taken down...
1) this is out of sync and will require a re-render. it was rendered in a hurry on equipment i wouldn't normally use to render and i didn't even think to check the latency.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/orb-symphony
2) this is the track i'm currently working on completing, and a complete version will be the next upload.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/untitled-ep-single
3 & 4 were stranded versions of the following tracks:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/strung-out
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/trepanation-nation
they were all uploaded haphazardly when my drive crashed, and, again i lost hits on that. that's about 1000 lost hits. but they weren't done...
Friday, January 16, 2015
alright, finally. back at it as of right now...
i said when i started inri042 that it wouldn't take long, and then got stuck playing with a guitar sampler before i realized i had to put it aside to come back fresh at it. the basic reality that this isn't a complex process remains true, so it should be up fairly quickly.
after this, the next track to finish is this "ostrich" thing that was initially meant as sarah's christmas present for 2002. i ended up shelving it in favour of "flying". i'm not sure exactly how this is going to work out, but it's going to finish several releases simultaneously - there'll be a single that will represent that birthday present, it will be the last track for j^2 and it will be the last component of thru (excepting a vst reversion of the birdsong). rather than produce separate singles for all of this, i may construct a "bird ep". birds were a thematic point for me, coming from several different angles; i'll explain all of this as it comes up.
my fifth symphony comes up next and i'm going to need to listen to it closely to determine the right approach. the early 2002 release will likely come up unaltered; i'll leave any mods for further releases.
there's going to be an ambient works after that, which will be a compilation. i'm going to want to sequence it, but it shouldn't be long, either.
that will take me up until i got back from bc, where i'm going to need to pause to analyze the best way to present some material. my sixth symphony is also in a completed form. there will be a few demos that will need to come up, as is, as well.
the next major project will be my seventh symphony, which is about 80% done. my eighth symphony will need to follow, and it is not recorded at all. there's a few minor projects to clean up in the middle of there. there's a programming project dated to late 2004 that i'm not sure i want to take on at all and will have to think carefully about.
i've been saying for a while that i will be rapidly jumping from late 2002 to late 2004, and it hasn't happened yet. but it will be happening right now. i want to at least get to that point by february 17th, when i have an important appointment scheduled. so, i think you can expect a lot of uploads and very little talking over the next month.
this will get me through the tail end of my second period and through the part of the third period that i have completed. the second half of my third period is going to require approaching demos from scratch and will *not* be a quick project.
symphony 5 and 6 are basically complete, and exist on youtube. symphony 7 is incomplete and only exists online right now as the third component of this gestating double record. symphony 8 will be the fourth and final component. this is the major result of my third period.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/e
this is a demo of the 8th symphony:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/the-lost-symphony-winter-2007
that ^ actually includes the end of the 7th, as well.
i said when i started inri042 that it wouldn't take long, and then got stuck playing with a guitar sampler before i realized i had to put it aside to come back fresh at it. the basic reality that this isn't a complex process remains true, so it should be up fairly quickly.
after this, the next track to finish is this "ostrich" thing that was initially meant as sarah's christmas present for 2002. i ended up shelving it in favour of "flying". i'm not sure exactly how this is going to work out, but it's going to finish several releases simultaneously - there'll be a single that will represent that birthday present, it will be the last track for j^2 and it will be the last component of thru (excepting a vst reversion of the birdsong). rather than produce separate singles for all of this, i may construct a "bird ep". birds were a thematic point for me, coming from several different angles; i'll explain all of this as it comes up.
my fifth symphony comes up next and i'm going to need to listen to it closely to determine the right approach. the early 2002 release will likely come up unaltered; i'll leave any mods for further releases.
there's going to be an ambient works after that, which will be a compilation. i'm going to want to sequence it, but it shouldn't be long, either.
that will take me up until i got back from bc, where i'm going to need to pause to analyze the best way to present some material. my sixth symphony is also in a completed form. there will be a few demos that will need to come up, as is, as well.
the next major project will be my seventh symphony, which is about 80% done. my eighth symphony will need to follow, and it is not recorded at all. there's a few minor projects to clean up in the middle of there. there's a programming project dated to late 2004 that i'm not sure i want to take on at all and will have to think carefully about.
i've been saying for a while that i will be rapidly jumping from late 2002 to late 2004, and it hasn't happened yet. but it will be happening right now. i want to at least get to that point by february 17th, when i have an important appointment scheduled. so, i think you can expect a lot of uploads and very little talking over the next month.
this will get me through the tail end of my second period and through the part of the third period that i have completed. the second half of my third period is going to require approaching demos from scratch and will *not* be a quick project.
symphony 5 and 6 are basically complete, and exist on youtube. symphony 7 is incomplete and only exists online right now as the third component of this gestating double record. symphony 8 will be the fourth and final component. this is the major result of my third period.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/e
this is a demo of the 8th symphony:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/the-lost-symphony-winter-2007
that ^ actually includes the end of the 7th, as well.
and, now there's cougars EVERYWHERE....
part of the reason i'm not calling this in is that i *know* i have an irrational fear of predatory cats. like, i know there's not really a cougar lurking in the bushes across the street - even though, if there was a cougar around here, it would be a good place to check. i know it's the wind, combined with my eyes playing tricks on me (and my eyesight not being very good, when discussing distances). what looks like a cougar is probably just an oddly shaped branch. i realize this.
i have a number of irrational fears like that. usually i can work it out. this undiagnosed schizophrenia is a double-edged sword when the individual has a worldview rooted in empiricism. it pulls on you. it's nagging. but there's usually a way to *test* it, and then you know. the problem with the predatory cats fear is that if you're legitimately concerned that there's a cougar lurking in the bushes then going over to investigate isn't the best approach to dealing with it because if there *is* a cougar in there - however unlikely - then you become lunch. as i can't test this, i can't neutralize it.
i'm pretty sure it ultimately stems from studying them when i was a kid. and, this is actually something i've been dealing with since i was about eight. i have very clear memories of seeing a tiger in my neighbourhood when i was a kid, and avoiding a specific area because i was certain of it. i guess the trend over the last little while has been with dinosaurs; it's not uncommon to meet kids that can classify every type of jurassic diapsid - and i was admittedly pretty good at that myself. but i had a thing with cats, specifically. i could tell you the difference between a jaguarundi and an ocelot, tell you what their ranges were, whether they were endangered or not, etc. so, when i say i saw a bengal tiger near the pool, i meant a bengal tiger - because i knew.
but, of course, it was probably always the result of an overactive imagination. it's probably a better idea to get your kids classifying dinosaurs than predatory cats, because they're going to understand that the chances of coming face to face with an albertosaurus are pretty remote. predatory cats, however, still exist.
there's really only one that we're likely to come face-to-face with here in canada. hence, the fear of cougars.
i was a total nervous wreck when i was hitchhiking through bc, convinced i was going to be mauled. it's my most vivid memory of the trip, which i'm getting to in the musical chronology. and that might have something to do with this, right now.
but it's just a lot easier to work it out in my head than it is to actually shake it.
part of the reason i'm not calling this in is that i *know* i have an irrational fear of predatory cats. like, i know there's not really a cougar lurking in the bushes across the street - even though, if there was a cougar around here, it would be a good place to check. i know it's the wind, combined with my eyes playing tricks on me (and my eyesight not being very good, when discussing distances). what looks like a cougar is probably just an oddly shaped branch. i realize this.
i have a number of irrational fears like that. usually i can work it out. this undiagnosed schizophrenia is a double-edged sword when the individual has a worldview rooted in empiricism. it pulls on you. it's nagging. but there's usually a way to *test* it, and then you know. the problem with the predatory cats fear is that if you're legitimately concerned that there's a cougar lurking in the bushes then going over to investigate isn't the best approach to dealing with it because if there *is* a cougar in there - however unlikely - then you become lunch. as i can't test this, i can't neutralize it.
i'm pretty sure it ultimately stems from studying them when i was a kid. and, this is actually something i've been dealing with since i was about eight. i have very clear memories of seeing a tiger in my neighbourhood when i was a kid, and avoiding a specific area because i was certain of it. i guess the trend over the last little while has been with dinosaurs; it's not uncommon to meet kids that can classify every type of jurassic diapsid - and i was admittedly pretty good at that myself. but i had a thing with cats, specifically. i could tell you the difference between a jaguarundi and an ocelot, tell you what their ranges were, whether they were endangered or not, etc. so, when i say i saw a bengal tiger near the pool, i meant a bengal tiger - because i knew.
but, of course, it was probably always the result of an overactive imagination. it's probably a better idea to get your kids classifying dinosaurs than predatory cats, because they're going to understand that the chances of coming face to face with an albertosaurus are pretty remote. predatory cats, however, still exist.
there's really only one that we're likely to come face-to-face with here in canada. hence, the fear of cougars.
i was a total nervous wreck when i was hitchhiking through bc, convinced i was going to be mauled. it's my most vivid memory of the trip, which i'm getting to in the musical chronology. and that might have something to do with this, right now.
but it's just a lot easier to work it out in my head than it is to actually shake it.
Thursday, January 15, 2015
i expected this was going to happen...
my isp is cutting my plan out. they just doubled my usage cap from 75 gb to 150 gb and increased my bill by $3. but, these are my actual usage stats recently:
nov: 15 gb
dec: 9 gb
jan: 8 gb (so far)
i wouldn't want lower than 50 gb, for the security blanket. but i'm rarely going to go over 20 gb. 150 gb is completely useless to me.
i'm not going to make any changes, because it's still under $30, which is my breaking point. for now, i can just treat this as inflation. i refuse to pay more than that. why? because i always had unlimited access for less than that. i don't want or need more bandwidth. i want a cheap plan in the 3-10 mbps range, and i'll take as low as a 50 gb limit if i have to.
but, it's coming up on it. and if i can't find the cheap enough option, i'm willing to cancel altogether. if you don't believe me, take note: i believe phones are overpriced and haven't paid for one in over five years.
i have no problem going to the library every few days instead...
like, i guess i'm ok with usage-based billing on some level - if you cut the flat rate. go ahead and charge me $1/gb or something. if you make it flat, i'm going to save money, in the long run, because my usage is so low.
but don't sell me a service i don't want, and then deny me the opportunity to downgrade....
i guess i'm still old-fashioned, in the sense that the dominant thing i do on the internet is READ.
my isp is cutting my plan out. they just doubled my usage cap from 75 gb to 150 gb and increased my bill by $3. but, these are my actual usage stats recently:
nov: 15 gb
dec: 9 gb
jan: 8 gb (so far)
i wouldn't want lower than 50 gb, for the security blanket. but i'm rarely going to go over 20 gb. 150 gb is completely useless to me.
i'm not going to make any changes, because it's still under $30, which is my breaking point. for now, i can just treat this as inflation. i refuse to pay more than that. why? because i always had unlimited access for less than that. i don't want or need more bandwidth. i want a cheap plan in the 3-10 mbps range, and i'll take as low as a 50 gb limit if i have to.
but, it's coming up on it. and if i can't find the cheap enough option, i'm willing to cancel altogether. if you don't believe me, take note: i believe phones are overpriced and haven't paid for one in over five years.
i have no problem going to the library every few days instead...
like, i guess i'm ok with usage-based billing on some level - if you cut the flat rate. go ahead and charge me $1/gb or something. if you make it flat, i'm going to save money, in the long run, because my usage is so low.
but don't sell me a service i don't want, and then deny me the opportunity to downgrade....
i guess i'm still old-fashioned, in the sense that the dominant thing i do on the internet is READ.
yeah...
if i saw a cougar zoom by, it seems to have been smart enough to take the sidewalk to avoid tracks. and i DID see it up along the sidewalk. but there's no tracks coming on or off the sidewalk. more importantly, there's no tracks coming back and forth from the tree, which is what i was really worried about.
there's some tracks across the street, but they look smaller. skunk, maybe. or even a house cat.
so, i basically have no evidence. and i'm not calling in such an outlandish claim with no evidence. i'm not going out after dark for a while, though....
i tell you, though, it sure looked like one. but it was dark.
if i saw a cougar zoom by, it seems to have been smart enough to take the sidewalk to avoid tracks. and i DID see it up along the sidewalk. but there's no tracks coming on or off the sidewalk. more importantly, there's no tracks coming back and forth from the tree, which is what i was really worried about.
there's some tracks across the street, but they look smaller. skunk, maybe. or even a house cat.
so, i basically have no evidence. and i'm not calling in such an outlandish claim with no evidence. i'm not going out after dark for a while, though....
i tell you, though, it sure looked like one. but it was dark.
actually, i think i just saw a fucking cougar outside the window.
i said "clear canid tracks". well, all i could tell was that they weren't human, really, and that they were quite large. clear, large paws. but could i tell the difference between wolf/coyote tracks and cougar tracks? no. but, i mean, coyotes wouldn't be that unusual. a cougar, on the other hand...
i just had a bad feeling about going out for a smoke tonight, so i had one in my back room instead. i looked out the window and saw a rather large cat zoom by on the sidewalk...much, much larger than the one that hangs out around here...
...and not the same colour. yes, it was dark. and it admittedly seemed to have more of that bobcat grey than that cougar peach. but it also had a long tail, which bobcats and lynxes don't have.
is this even possible? are there cougars around here? that's a tricky question. apparently, the answer is an emphatic yes, but it's not entirely clear what their range is or where they've come from. the official story is that they were hunted to extinction in this region well over a hundred years ago, but there have been consistent unconfirmed reports of cougars in the region basically ever since. and there have been confirmed reports in southern ontario over the last few years, with some people believing that they're migrating back into the area, others believing that some "pets escaped" and still others arguing that they never really were extinct in the first place. there have apparently been numerous sightings in the waterloo region, recently.
i didn't get a really good look - not good enough to state it was really a cougar with any certainty. those tracks are long gone. and i'm not going back out until the sun comes back up.
but i'll have to check for tracks in the morning.
i think it would be rather remarkable to confirm a cougar sighting in an urban area like this.
http://blogs.windsorstar.com/news/cougar-sighted-near-ganatchio-trail
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/windsor/alleged-cougar-spotted-in-southern-ontario-1.1252531
it seems like grey cougars are a thing that exists. hrmmn. that was my largest point of skepticism.
i think i saw a cougar on my front lawn. creepy.
i said "clear canid tracks". well, all i could tell was that they weren't human, really, and that they were quite large. clear, large paws. but could i tell the difference between wolf/coyote tracks and cougar tracks? no. but, i mean, coyotes wouldn't be that unusual. a cougar, on the other hand...
i just had a bad feeling about going out for a smoke tonight, so i had one in my back room instead. i looked out the window and saw a rather large cat zoom by on the sidewalk...much, much larger than the one that hangs out around here...
...and not the same colour. yes, it was dark. and it admittedly seemed to have more of that bobcat grey than that cougar peach. but it also had a long tail, which bobcats and lynxes don't have.
is this even possible? are there cougars around here? that's a tricky question. apparently, the answer is an emphatic yes, but it's not entirely clear what their range is or where they've come from. the official story is that they were hunted to extinction in this region well over a hundred years ago, but there have been consistent unconfirmed reports of cougars in the region basically ever since. and there have been confirmed reports in southern ontario over the last few years, with some people believing that they're migrating back into the area, others believing that some "pets escaped" and still others arguing that they never really were extinct in the first place. there have apparently been numerous sightings in the waterloo region, recently.
i didn't get a really good look - not good enough to state it was really a cougar with any certainty. those tracks are long gone. and i'm not going back out until the sun comes back up.
but i'll have to check for tracks in the morning.
i think it would be rather remarkable to confirm a cougar sighting in an urban area like this.
http://blogs.windsorstar.com/news/cougar-sighted-near-ganatchio-trail
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/windsor/alleged-cougar-spotted-in-southern-ontario-1.1252531
it seems like grey cougars are a thing that exists. hrmmn. that was my largest point of skepticism.
i think i saw a cougar on my front lawn. creepy.
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
yeah,
i'm not doing this. or not right now. i feel like i'm forcing it.and
i've bought eps with forced remixes that aren't worth it. it's not like i
have a demand to print this. if i do print it, though, i'll have to
think about this before i get there.
i want this to come to me more organically. it's like...i have the abstract idea of wanting to take it in that more glitch hop direction, but i don't have a concrete plan and don't want to just fuck with it for content.
more likely is that i'll be playing with something at some point and it will click. for now, on to inri042...
i want this to come to me more organically. it's like...i have the abstract idea of wanting to take it in that more glitch hop direction, but i don't have a concrete plan and don't want to just fuck with it for content.
more likely is that i'll be playing with something at some point and it will click. for now, on to inri042...
i'm still undecided. it's just...
that time single is not sitting so well with me. it seems a little haphazard. 35 minutes is a little short. i feel it needs at least one further remix....
but the "glitch hop" mix i want to do is sort of similar to the instrumental that is up.
i'm still thinking about this. i should really just sit down and do it. but i want the link dump cleared up until i moved to windsor before i move forwards, which is another month.
that time single is not sitting so well with me. it seems a little haphazard. 35 minutes is a little short. i feel it needs at least one further remix....
but the "glitch hop" mix i want to do is sort of similar to the instrumental that is up.
i'm still thinking about this. i should really just sit down and do it. but i want the link dump cleared up until i moved to windsor before i move forwards, which is another month.
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
Monday, January 12, 2015
siren’s sound review
for the sake of transparency, this post came up on my request, and it seems like the "reviewer" (he's more of a link sharer than a reviewer) was a little befuddled by it.
his analysis...
A TOTALLY STRANGE FORM OF PSYCHEDELIC NOISE
well, it fits. and to an extent i revel in that sort of confused reaction; it means i'm doing something right. but it's the kind of site where the odd person that stumbles upon it might connect with it, so this is a good start with this...
http://www.thesirenssound.com/2015/01/12/deny-everything/
i'm going to get something like 1/1000 on youtube. i might get 1/100 or something at a site like that. the flip side is i'm going to get ten times as much traffic at youtube....
his analysis...
A TOTALLY STRANGE FORM OF PSYCHEDELIC NOISE
well, it fits. and to an extent i revel in that sort of confused reaction; it means i'm doing something right. but it's the kind of site where the odd person that stumbles upon it might connect with it, so this is a good start with this...
http://www.thesirenssound.com/2015/01/12/deny-everything/
i'm going to get something like 1/1000 on youtube. i might get 1/100 or something at a site like that. the flip side is i'm going to get ten times as much traffic at youtube....
well,
he took me *half* seriously. and it turns out he could fill out the
forms, but decided not to. instead, i got two appointments in february -
which is enough to string me along without pulling off the aspirin
stunt. it's still possible, but not for another month. we'll see how
that goes.
i dropped some hints, mentioned i may need to "generate a crisis", so it shouldn't be a total surprise. i think he's mostly got me coming back in for observation on the 2nd; i can see an actual psychiatrist on the 17th.
this message will self-destruct in 24 hours.
i dropped some hints, mentioned i may need to "generate a crisis", so it shouldn't be a total surprise. i think he's mostly got me coming back in for observation on the 2nd; i can see an actual psychiatrist on the 17th.
this message will self-destruct in 24 hours.
i
just realized they scheduled me with a nurse, who can't fill the forms
in, anyways. i don't think it's likely that i'm going to be taken
seriously, today.
i'd consequently say it's almost completely certain that i'm going to be in the hospital by noon. i'd just point out that the purpose of this is to create a crisis, because they seem unable to react to perform on a crisis management level and solely able to perform on a crisis response level. that is, i seem to have little choice but to create a crisis situation if i want to get these forms filled in. this is a very stupid/liberal way to organize a system that is likely to cost more in the long run than a focus on prevention would, but we live in a very stupid/liberal society....
the point is that i'm not putting myself in serious danger, at least not today. i will give them a time frame before i begin to consume the aspirin. i will consume the aspirin in the medical facility, if i have to. they will have no choice but to call an ambulance, and they should be able to pump my stomach fairly easily.
i will ensure that this is done in an easy to respond to manner the first few times i do this, because the point is to draw attention to myself rather than to actually succeed. classic cry for help scenario. if this drags on unsuccessfully, and i'm faced with eviction again, i will choose a more decisive way to kill myself than overdosing on aspirin at the doctor's office. i've explained my position on this, and the rational factors that may or may not lead to my decision.
i'll update if there's a different outcome. but that would be a surprise to me.
i've given them every opportunity to respond in accordance with their public mandate, and wash my hands of responsibility regarding the consequences of their inaction.
i can only hope that more people are willing to take this kind of a confrontational stance when it comes to dealing with public institutions that have been co-opted by liberalism, and are now working against their designated purpose.
hopefully, people get fired.
i'd consequently say it's almost completely certain that i'm going to be in the hospital by noon. i'd just point out that the purpose of this is to create a crisis, because they seem unable to react to perform on a crisis management level and solely able to perform on a crisis response level. that is, i seem to have little choice but to create a crisis situation if i want to get these forms filled in. this is a very stupid/liberal way to organize a system that is likely to cost more in the long run than a focus on prevention would, but we live in a very stupid/liberal society....
the point is that i'm not putting myself in serious danger, at least not today. i will give them a time frame before i begin to consume the aspirin. i will consume the aspirin in the medical facility, if i have to. they will have no choice but to call an ambulance, and they should be able to pump my stomach fairly easily.
i will ensure that this is done in an easy to respond to manner the first few times i do this, because the point is to draw attention to myself rather than to actually succeed. classic cry for help scenario. if this drags on unsuccessfully, and i'm faced with eviction again, i will choose a more decisive way to kill myself than overdosing on aspirin at the doctor's office. i've explained my position on this, and the rational factors that may or may not lead to my decision.
i'll update if there's a different outcome. but that would be a surprise to me.
i've given them every opportunity to respond in accordance with their public mandate, and wash my hands of responsibility regarding the consequences of their inaction.
i can only hope that more people are willing to take this kind of a confrontational stance when it comes to dealing with public institutions that have been co-opted by liberalism, and are now working against their designated purpose.
hopefully, people get fired.
Sunday, January 11, 2015
well, i've got all my documents in order. tomorrow morning at 11:00 am. at least it'll be nice out....
i'm going to have to bring up the ms thing. i don't know if there's some kind of test for it. it may be the best way to do this. i mean, i can handle some muscle spasms and stuff but i've recently been getting the classic difficulty swallowing, and i think i'm really better off getting it diagnosed. if i can get them to take me seriously...
it's an mri...
i'm going to have to bring up the ms thing. i don't know if there's some kind of test for it. it may be the best way to do this. i mean, i can handle some muscle spasms and stuff but i've recently been getting the classic difficulty swallowing, and i think i'm really better off getting it diagnosed. if i can get them to take me seriously...
it's an mri...
detroit has a serious wild dog problem, but i'm not aware of one here and getting across the river would be rather difficult.
City of Windsor naturalist Paul Pratt said he hears reports of coyote sightings from everywhere in the city, even downtown. Coyotes took down a deer in the woodlot behind his LaSalle house about a month ago.
They’re mostly nocturnal and largely go unnoticed, Pratt said.
“If you have small dogs or cats, you shouldn’t let them out at night unattended, even if you’re in a built-up area.”
He said there are more coyotes in Windsor now because there’s more wildlife in Windsor – skunks, feral cats, groundhogs, possums and deer.
“There’s all this wildlife, something’s got to eat them,” said Pratt. “We have coyotes.”
City of Windsor naturalist Paul Pratt said he hears reports of coyote sightings from everywhere in the city, even downtown. Coyotes took down a deer in the woodlot behind his LaSalle house about a month ago.
They’re mostly nocturnal and largely go unnoticed, Pratt said.
“If you have small dogs or cats, you shouldn’t let them out at night unattended, even if you’re in a built-up area.”
He said there are more coyotes in Windsor now because there’s more wildlife in Windsor – skunks, feral cats, groundhogs, possums and deer.
“There’s all this wildlife, something’s got to eat them,” said Pratt. “We have coyotes.”
i'm pretty sure i've heard them rustling around where i can't see them. with all the cats and the skunks around, it seemed like a matter of time. but it took the snow to reveal them: very clear canid tracks coming up across the front lawn, right to the door and across the other way. right where the cat that's been following me around sits, actually. relatively large, at that - if these are coyote tracks, it's a big coyote. may be one of those coywolves...
i suspect that may be the last i'll see of that cat.
it's said they're around, and you'll rarely see them. they know they can't really take you down. but there's kids around here. and it's enough to be a little bit more cautious about going out at night.
i haven't set up my new blog yet, and i have my meeting on monday. this post will eventually self-destruct. but, for now i'm going to post on the results of my meeting in the comments of this post. i suppose if there's no posts here by tuesday, that's bad news.
i suspect that may be the last i'll see of that cat.
it's said they're around, and you'll rarely see them. they know they can't really take you down. but there's kids around here. and it's enough to be a little bit more cautious about going out at night.
i haven't set up my new blog yet, and i have my meeting on monday. this post will eventually self-destruct. but, for now i'm going to post on the results of my meeting in the comments of this post. i suppose if there's no posts here by tuesday, that's bad news.
existence (vst mix) (for thru)
this was a piece i wrote up in the fall of 2001. i can't remember exactly what the root of it was, but it had something to do with a voice-leading assignment for what was the equivalent of a course in music theory 101. the root of the piece may consequently come from what was presented to me. i can't recall exactly - but i believe the assignment was to build the different voices up.
my negative relationship with music theory is stated throughout this page and was well established well before the end of 2001. i had an interest in the music theory course for the purposes of deconstructing the theory - in the context of writing, specifically, and not performing. i actually have one of those classic stories - i failed this course. it is actually the only course i have ever legitimately received an F in. hey, if einstein can fail math, i can fail music theory.
the story actually revolves around sight-reading aspect of the course, and specifically it's vocal content. there were three aspects of the course (theory, vocal sight-reading and african drumming which i'm thinking was meant to be a rhythmic component but was really just a ridiculous waste of time). i really wish they would have let me sight read on a guitar, or even a piano, because i'm just simply not a talented singer; i've never had aspirations to become one, and i had a lot of problems controlling my vocals. even with that being said, the reality is that i had a very low level of _interest_ in this. i probably could have passed the course if i spent less time on abstract algebra and more time singing in the mirror, but i just couldn't be bothered...
i really disapprove of the way the course was designed. i was interested in learning about music theory, and needed the course as a pre-req for more advanced courses, which i never ended up taking. i still don't fully understand why i had to pass a singing exam to take further composition courses. the best answer i got was that the school didn't want graduates who couldn't pass a singing exam, but i was at no point enrolled in a b. music so it's a pretty weak response.
anyways, this was a voice-leading assignment that i perverted into something mildly atonal and then built up into something else. you can hear it if you listen, except that it's all "wrong". i'd have to sit down and analyze it to come to a more detailed exposition on it's "wrongness", and i'm not going to, but it's not hard to hear how "wrong" it is, either.
i was clearly listening to a lot of glass at the time, but this goes beyond his medievalism. i'm using so many "wrong" notes that it's ultimately just chromatic - although there's no tone rows or anything that's formally serialist about it. it's not meant to abolish the structure so much as it's meant to just flaunt the rules. that gives it an almost satanic feel, in the context of a vocal piece using "forbidden" intervals.
but, looking back, i think that what the piece really explores is existential anguish. i was in the second year of a math degree (after switching from physics after switching from software engineering) and really had little idea where i was going with it. i was considering switching into music and probably would have had i not failed the singing exam. the thing is i actually knew i was going to fail the course at that point, and was just feeling lost as a result of it. i ended up in math as this sort of default choice, vaguely thinking i might end up teaching somewhere but not having any real interest in it...
so much choice, so few options. i suppose that this is how i expressed what i was feeling about this reality at the time.
i can't remember the exact way this happened, but i believe the piece was initially written for voice (as a voice-leading assignment) and then expanded into further voices and then converted into a composition for nine instruments. i've picked halloween as the date, but that's symbolic - it was around then, anyway. it would have been around december that it was put aside, because i don't remember working on it after i moved.
this version was created in october, 2014 by mixing three separate vst mixes together: the choir mix, a string orchestra mix and an arranged mix.
written in the fall of 2001. rendered, remastered and remixed in late september and early october, 2014. this render is from october 3, 2014.
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/existence-4
my negative relationship with music theory is stated throughout this page and was well established well before the end of 2001. i had an interest in the music theory course for the purposes of deconstructing the theory - in the context of writing, specifically, and not performing. i actually have one of those classic stories - i failed this course. it is actually the only course i have ever legitimately received an F in. hey, if einstein can fail math, i can fail music theory.
the story actually revolves around sight-reading aspect of the course, and specifically it's vocal content. there were three aspects of the course (theory, vocal sight-reading and african drumming which i'm thinking was meant to be a rhythmic component but was really just a ridiculous waste of time). i really wish they would have let me sight read on a guitar, or even a piano, because i'm just simply not a talented singer; i've never had aspirations to become one, and i had a lot of problems controlling my vocals. even with that being said, the reality is that i had a very low level of _interest_ in this. i probably could have passed the course if i spent less time on abstract algebra and more time singing in the mirror, but i just couldn't be bothered...
i really disapprove of the way the course was designed. i was interested in learning about music theory, and needed the course as a pre-req for more advanced courses, which i never ended up taking. i still don't fully understand why i had to pass a singing exam to take further composition courses. the best answer i got was that the school didn't want graduates who couldn't pass a singing exam, but i was at no point enrolled in a b. music so it's a pretty weak response.
anyways, this was a voice-leading assignment that i perverted into something mildly atonal and then built up into something else. you can hear it if you listen, except that it's all "wrong". i'd have to sit down and analyze it to come to a more detailed exposition on it's "wrongness", and i'm not going to, but it's not hard to hear how "wrong" it is, either.
i was clearly listening to a lot of glass at the time, but this goes beyond his medievalism. i'm using so many "wrong" notes that it's ultimately just chromatic - although there's no tone rows or anything that's formally serialist about it. it's not meant to abolish the structure so much as it's meant to just flaunt the rules. that gives it an almost satanic feel, in the context of a vocal piece using "forbidden" intervals.
but, looking back, i think that what the piece really explores is existential anguish. i was in the second year of a math degree (after switching from physics after switching from software engineering) and really had little idea where i was going with it. i was considering switching into music and probably would have had i not failed the singing exam. the thing is i actually knew i was going to fail the course at that point, and was just feeling lost as a result of it. i ended up in math as this sort of default choice, vaguely thinking i might end up teaching somewhere but not having any real interest in it...
so much choice, so few options. i suppose that this is how i expressed what i was feeling about this reality at the time.
i can't remember the exact way this happened, but i believe the piece was initially written for voice (as a voice-leading assignment) and then expanded into further voices and then converted into a composition for nine instruments. i've picked halloween as the date, but that's symbolic - it was around then, anyway. it would have been around december that it was put aside, because i don't remember working on it after i moved.
this version was created in october, 2014 by mixing three separate vst mixes together: the choir mix, a string orchestra mix and an arranged mix.
written in the fall of 2001. rendered, remastered and remixed in late september and early october, 2014. this render is from october 3, 2014.
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/existence-4
the walk (vst mix)
this was written as the introductory walk scene to the first rabit is wolf single; this vst version is exclusive to this collection..
written late 2001; re-rendered through vst on jan 10, 2015.
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/the-walk-2
written late 2001; re-rendered through vst on jan 10, 2015.
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/the-walk-2
Saturday, January 10, 2015
lol...
so, i just tried to do a lossless compress on that last track, and it won't compress. if you know how this works a little...
what it does is it looks for strings of zeroes, which represent empty space in the wave file. now, what that means is complicated but "empty space" is intuitive - it's data that's not filled in, or is filled in with zeroes to be precise. it then combines strings of zeroes together, cutting down on the amount of bits required to store the data. what that means is that - and this is different than an mp3 - that the amount you can losslessly compress a sound by depends on the complexity of the sound. a recording of the creek outside your house will have more empty space than a recording of a symphony, and will compress much better.
so, if i run my symphony through the lossless compression and i'm only able to compress it by 1%, that means i've got data in 99% of the possible places there could be data.
that's a dense track...
so, you think you got a phat track, yo? see how far you can compress it. if your track is really phat, you're looking at 70%. but 99%? that's fucking ridiculous.
so, i just tried to do a lossless compress on that last track, and it won't compress. if you know how this works a little...
what it does is it looks for strings of zeroes, which represent empty space in the wave file. now, what that means is complicated but "empty space" is intuitive - it's data that's not filled in, or is filled in with zeroes to be precise. it then combines strings of zeroes together, cutting down on the amount of bits required to store the data. what that means is that - and this is different than an mp3 - that the amount you can losslessly compress a sound by depends on the complexity of the sound. a recording of the creek outside your house will have more empty space than a recording of a symphony, and will compress much better.
so, if i run my symphony through the lossless compression and i'm only able to compress it by 1%, that means i've got data in 99% of the possible places there could be data.
that's a dense track...
so, you think you got a phat track, yo? see how far you can compress it. if your track is really phat, you're looking at 70%. but 99%? that's fucking ridiculous.
the intersection of two identical particles moving in completely opposite directions (vst mix) (for thru)
ok...
so, to understand this piece, it's necessary to go back to 1998.
i was working out primitive sequencer parts for the first inri demo and it just sort of crossed my mind that there was really nothing stopping me from composing symphonies except for a lot of music theory. well, if i could write electronic music without training, why couldn't i write symphonies without training? i mean, the score writing program exists in front of me. it was just a question of experimenting with it. i could do it myself...
...but i actually already had a pretty hefty disdain for music theory by the age of 17. i'd managed to come across a music history textbook that traced the deconstruction of western theory from beethoven through to schoenberg and this, combined with my experiences as a guitarist, was enough to prevent me from taking it seriously. the perception i had was of modern composers viewing music theory sort of like how biologists viewed creationism. i use that analogy fairly frequently. it just didn't strike me as relevant.
now, i've softened a bit over time to a view that music theory is best understood in terms of the underlying physics. this renders the theory useless, but upholds the basic relationships between tones as physical, mathematical realities. the thing is the next step of abstraction is understanding that these mathematical objects can be arranged and analyzed in any arbitrary way, and the conventional theory really *is* a fallacy akin to creationism. so, i still hold to the general thesis. this is actually the first serious example of me putting that disdain for the idea that music should have a theory into real action. i remain adamantly of the view that art is not a realm where theories should exist or be viewed with anything other than scorn. theories are rigid, formal things; art is informal, chaotic.
so, it's 1998. i have a scorewriter and a very basic soundcard and i want to bullshit a symphony out of it. i did this by composing a single brief melody by randomly mashing notes into a scorewriter. i then took that melody and pasted it over top of itself at differing speeds (64th, 32nd, 16th, 8th, quarter, half, whole notes). i then took that, cut it off near the end of the half notes and pasted it over itself, backwards.
that might sound like it's going to sound awful, but it actually sounds quite lovely. one could analyze it quite easily, but it's creation is beyond the realm of any rules of construction.
which is where art belongs.
...excepting the algorithm i used, of course. i suppose it's more reich than schoenberg, but kind of more xenakis than either.
in 2001, i ran the midi file through my soundblaster live!, which as primitive as it is, has a much nicer wavetable in it than the primitive soundcard i used in 1998 and 1999 (i don't remember what it was). i also slowed it down by about 20 bpm and allowed the full file to "intersect", which let it breathe more.
why? well, i was writing a lot with scorewriters at the time and was just experimenting with the old file, really. but i was also finishing up what would be the only year i would spend in the math-physics department, and thought it sounded like i would imagine intersecting particles *should* sound like. i was generally interested in finding ways to combine science with music then - an interest that is present in older tracks as well and that has stuck with me. i may explore these themes further in time. one of the ideas i really wanted to accomplish was a physical modelling of the universe, to actually simulate the music of the spheres, as pythagoras imagined it. i think i underestimated the complexity of such a task....
of course, i never expected the music of the spheres to be tonal. and i wouldn't expect the sound of particles intersecting to be musical, either. but, we can take some artistic license. if intersecting particles are to make a sound, it OUGHT to be something like this!
written june, 1998. reimagined june, 2001. slightly rearranged and re-rendered at the end of july, 2014. this render is from july 24, 2014.
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/the-intersection-of-two-identical-particles-moving-in-completely-opposite-directions-4
so, to understand this piece, it's necessary to go back to 1998.
i was working out primitive sequencer parts for the first inri demo and it just sort of crossed my mind that there was really nothing stopping me from composing symphonies except for a lot of music theory. well, if i could write electronic music without training, why couldn't i write symphonies without training? i mean, the score writing program exists in front of me. it was just a question of experimenting with it. i could do it myself...
...but i actually already had a pretty hefty disdain for music theory by the age of 17. i'd managed to come across a music history textbook that traced the deconstruction of western theory from beethoven through to schoenberg and this, combined with my experiences as a guitarist, was enough to prevent me from taking it seriously. the perception i had was of modern composers viewing music theory sort of like how biologists viewed creationism. i use that analogy fairly frequently. it just didn't strike me as relevant.
now, i've softened a bit over time to a view that music theory is best understood in terms of the underlying physics. this renders the theory useless, but upholds the basic relationships between tones as physical, mathematical realities. the thing is the next step of abstraction is understanding that these mathematical objects can be arranged and analyzed in any arbitrary way, and the conventional theory really *is* a fallacy akin to creationism. so, i still hold to the general thesis. this is actually the first serious example of me putting that disdain for the idea that music should have a theory into real action. i remain adamantly of the view that art is not a realm where theories should exist or be viewed with anything other than scorn. theories are rigid, formal things; art is informal, chaotic.
so, it's 1998. i have a scorewriter and a very basic soundcard and i want to bullshit a symphony out of it. i did this by composing a single brief melody by randomly mashing notes into a scorewriter. i then took that melody and pasted it over top of itself at differing speeds (64th, 32nd, 16th, 8th, quarter, half, whole notes). i then took that, cut it off near the end of the half notes and pasted it over itself, backwards.
that might sound like it's going to sound awful, but it actually sounds quite lovely. one could analyze it quite easily, but it's creation is beyond the realm of any rules of construction.
which is where art belongs.
...excepting the algorithm i used, of course. i suppose it's more reich than schoenberg, but kind of more xenakis than either.
in 2001, i ran the midi file through my soundblaster live!, which as primitive as it is, has a much nicer wavetable in it than the primitive soundcard i used in 1998 and 1999 (i don't remember what it was). i also slowed it down by about 20 bpm and allowed the full file to "intersect", which let it breathe more.
why? well, i was writing a lot with scorewriters at the time and was just experimenting with the old file, really. but i was also finishing up what would be the only year i would spend in the math-physics department, and thought it sounded like i would imagine intersecting particles *should* sound like. i was generally interested in finding ways to combine science with music then - an interest that is present in older tracks as well and that has stuck with me. i may explore these themes further in time. one of the ideas i really wanted to accomplish was a physical modelling of the universe, to actually simulate the music of the spheres, as pythagoras imagined it. i think i underestimated the complexity of such a task....
of course, i never expected the music of the spheres to be tonal. and i wouldn't expect the sound of particles intersecting to be musical, either. but, we can take some artistic license. if intersecting particles are to make a sound, it OUGHT to be something like this!
written june, 1998. reimagined june, 2001. slightly rearranged and re-rendered at the end of july, 2014. this render is from july 24, 2014.
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/the-intersection-of-two-identical-particles-moving-in-completely-opposite-directions-4
the symphony of psilocybin induced madness (vst mix)
this is the vst update, for the second half of the thru disc.
the core of this was written in my parent's basement in the spring of 2001. planning on going to a rave that weekend, i had previously purchased a large amount of drugs; i was, however, forced to stay in due to having a calculus test that sunday (the rave was out of town). well, my parents were gone for the weekend, most of my friends were out of town and i had a massive stash of drugs...
it is quite literally a symphony of psilocybin induced madness and was written directly into an ancient, hacked score-writing program. while it has been labelled as a symphony of drunken confusion in certain contexts to get around certain social stigmas, this is inaccurate.
written early 2001. this render was completed on jan 10, 2015.
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/the-symphony-of-psilocybin-induced-madness-4
also available here:
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/vst-mix-3
inri027 has been updated:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/the-symphony-of-psilocybin-induced-madness
the core of this was written in my parent's basement in the spring of 2001. planning on going to a rave that weekend, i had previously purchased a large amount of drugs; i was, however, forced to stay in due to having a calculus test that sunday (the rave was out of town). well, my parents were gone for the weekend, most of my friends were out of town and i had a massive stash of drugs...
it is quite literally a symphony of psilocybin induced madness and was written directly into an ancient, hacked score-writing program. while it has been labelled as a symphony of drunken confusion in certain contexts to get around certain social stigmas, this is inaccurate.
written early 2001. this render was completed on jan 10, 2015.
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/the-symphony-of-psilocybin-induced-madness-4
also available here:
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/vst-mix-3
inri027 has been updated:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/the-symphony-of-psilocybin-induced-madness
track added to symphony 2 single
jessica
hi.
i'm contacting you because you purchased my symphony #2 single at some point in the past. i've added another remix to the single, which will also appear on the second side of the midi music project i'm nearing completion of. as you've purchased the single, i feel you're entitled to a free download of the track, which is up right here:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/vst-mix-3
now, it would seem like the easiest thing to do would be to generate a download code, but bandcamp is demanding i generate one hundred codes at a time and that would simply be a waste of codes, as there would be no other reason for me to generate codes for a single track. so, rather, i'm going to provide you with the opportunity to request the remix in the format you'd like it in, and i'll email it to you if you'd like me to.
Alessandro
Hi! If possibile, I would like to recive the track in Alac format. If not possibile, an mp3 is fine too. Thank you very much! By the way, beautiful music!
jessica
aaaaaaaaaaaactually, it turns out that you should be able to redownload the record from bandcamp.
i couldn't find a way to convert directly to mp4 without installing itunes, which i'm just not doing. i'm pretty particular about software that phones home in that i don't like it. so, i almost sent you a zipped wave file. but here's the thing: this track is so dense that the zip file only compressed it by 3 mb (it went from 93 to 90 mb). the zip process works by finding zeroes. i guess there's not a lot of zeroes in this file. that's too big to send over email....
if it doesn't work let me know, but i think the easiest thing to do is download it from the source. hey, i'm still learning how this works, too :)
hi.
i'm contacting you because you purchased my symphony #2 single at some point in the past. i've added another remix to the single, which will also appear on the second side of the midi music project i'm nearing completion of. as you've purchased the single, i feel you're entitled to a free download of the track, which is up right here:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/vst-mix-3
now, it would seem like the easiest thing to do would be to generate a download code, but bandcamp is demanding i generate one hundred codes at a time and that would simply be a waste of codes, as there would be no other reason for me to generate codes for a single track. so, rather, i'm going to provide you with the opportunity to request the remix in the format you'd like it in, and i'll email it to you if you'd like me to.
Alessandro
Hi! If possibile, I would like to recive the track in Alac format. If not possibile, an mp3 is fine too. Thank you very much! By the way, beautiful music!
jessica
aaaaaaaaaaaactually, it turns out that you should be able to redownload the record from bandcamp.
i couldn't find a way to convert directly to mp4 without installing itunes, which i'm just not doing. i'm pretty particular about software that phones home in that i don't like it. so, i almost sent you a zipped wave file. but here's the thing: this track is so dense that the zip file only compressed it by 3 mb (it went from 93 to 90 mb). the zip process works by finding zeroes. i guess there's not a lot of zeroes in this file. that's too big to send over email....
if it doesn't work let me know, but i think the easiest thing to do is download it from the source. hey, i'm still learning how this works, too :)
Friday, January 9, 2015
hi again...
To: sirenssound@gmail.com
jessica
(pause)
sorry, hit send accidentally.
i'm the person that set up your facebook page back in 2011. i'm just wondering if you might be willing to review some of my tunes.
my bandcamp page is very large, but the following are records i've finalized over 2014 or will finalize shortly in 2015.
2000 release (completed january, 2014):
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/deny-everything
2001 release (completed october, 2014):
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
2002 release (to be completed in january or february, 2015)
(two more songs to add):
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj-2
2004 release (to be completed in january or february, 2015):
(this will be a double, with sample-driven versions of the same material on the other side) http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/ftaa
Sheizaad TheSirensSound
Hi Jessica,
I hope you keeping well and that you had a great x-mas / new year. I am terribly sorry for the late reply but I am happy to say that I've had a chance to give the project a listen and wrote an entry here [ http://www.thesirenssound.com/2015/01/12/deny-everything/ ].
Excellent stuff dear.
jessica
(pause)
sorry, hit send accidentally.
i'm the person that set up your facebook page back in 2011. i'm just wondering if you might be willing to review some of my tunes.
my bandcamp page is very large, but the following are records i've finalized over 2014 or will finalize shortly in 2015.
2000 release (completed january, 2014):
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/deny-everything
2001 release (completed october, 2014):
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
2002 release (to be completed in january or february, 2015)
(two more songs to add):
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj-2
2004 release (to be completed in january or february, 2015):
(this will be a double, with sample-driven versions of the same material on the other side) http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/ftaa
Sheizaad TheSirensSound
Hi Jessica,
I hope you keeping well and that you had a great x-mas / new year. I am terribly sorry for the late reply but I am happy to say that I've had a chance to give the project a listen and wrote an entry here [ http://www.thesirenssound.com/2015/01/12/deny-everything/ ].
Excellent stuff dear.
Thursday, January 8, 2015
the time machine (vst mix) (for thu)
regarding this piece, my memory is blurry; yet, i have a vivid recollection of playing parts of it for my guitar teacher on a sunny day, where there was still snow on the ground. it's funny how we remember seemingly irrelevant details, but i guess the atmosphere of the performance is important because the performance is. that would date it to roughly march, 2001.
i switched the piece from classical guitar to piano halfway through writing it, and vaguely remember thinking that an impossible interval had something to do with it (a specific c# cannot be hit on a standard classical). yet, that doesn't change the fact that it's guitar music. the counterpoint is very guitar.
to further complicate things, i've long wanted to turn the piece into a jazzy idm romp. it has a kind of a jingly feel to it that belongs in the warp records sphere.
conceptually, the time machine aspect referred simply to the slowed down guitar chords at the beginning of the song. if you play it a certain way, it sounds like time is collapsing in on itself. or, so i thought, anyways. the various versions i have created here have made an attempt to take that idea to it's logical conclusion. it's a mix of the vision i had at the time and a bit of hindsight.
written early 2001. drastically rearranged in june, 2014. final render completed on july 5, 2014. as always, please use headphones.
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/the-time-machine-5
i switched the piece from classical guitar to piano halfway through writing it, and vaguely remember thinking that an impossible interval had something to do with it (a specific c# cannot be hit on a standard classical). yet, that doesn't change the fact that it's guitar music. the counterpoint is very guitar.
to further complicate things, i've long wanted to turn the piece into a jazzy idm romp. it has a kind of a jingly feel to it that belongs in the warp records sphere.
conceptually, the time machine aspect referred simply to the slowed down guitar chords at the beginning of the song. if you play it a certain way, it sounds like time is collapsing in on itself. or, so i thought, anyways. the various versions i have created here have made an attempt to take that idea to it's logical conclusion. it's a mix of the vision i had at the time and a bit of hindsight.
written early 2001. drastically rearranged in june, 2014. final render completed on july 5, 2014. as always, please use headphones.
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/the-time-machine-5
stuck in the middle of an alley closing in on all sides (vst mix) (for thru)
this is one of the tracks that i can't date well. i do, however, remember working on it during the winter, which means it must have been late '00 or early '01. i'm going to consequently deduce that it must have been what i was working on over the 2000 christmas break and date it coming out right after it.
actually, i have another reason to date it in early '01 rather than late '00: the introductory piano part was recorded live into my notation program on my dx100, which i was given over christmas (maybe a little before; it was a cheap garage sale pickup) to act as a controller for my recently broken jx-8p, that i had tried to take apart over the summer to clean a sticky key (a common problem with mid-80s roland analog synths) but failed and left keyless. it's still keyless. yet, the dx still drives it....
that introductory piano part formed the basis of the track, which built itself up fairly quickly. somewhere, i lost the nwc file by saving it as midi, which ruined all the formatting. it's been sitting on my drive ever since.
thematically, the track is meant to orchestrate a feeling of claustrophobia with society pushing down on you too hard. it's meant to transmit a feeling of existential dread. at the time, i really felt stuck with life in general and not sure how i was going to get out of it..
written late 2000 & early 2001. initial instrumentation and render completed mar 7, 2014. minor instrumentation changes to facilitate a small wind section were implemented in late april, 2014. final render completed on may 3, 2014. as always, please use headphones.
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/stuck-in-the-middle-of-an-alley-closing-in-on-all-sides-5
actually, i have another reason to date it in early '01 rather than late '00: the introductory piano part was recorded live into my notation program on my dx100, which i was given over christmas (maybe a little before; it was a cheap garage sale pickup) to act as a controller for my recently broken jx-8p, that i had tried to take apart over the summer to clean a sticky key (a common problem with mid-80s roland analog synths) but failed and left keyless. it's still keyless. yet, the dx still drives it....
that introductory piano part formed the basis of the track, which built itself up fairly quickly. somewhere, i lost the nwc file by saving it as midi, which ruined all the formatting. it's been sitting on my drive ever since.
thematically, the track is meant to orchestrate a feeling of claustrophobia with society pushing down on you too hard. it's meant to transmit a feeling of existential dread. at the time, i really felt stuck with life in general and not sure how i was going to get out of it..
written late 2000 & early 2001. initial instrumentation and render completed mar 7, 2014. minor instrumentation changes to facilitate a small wind section were implemented in late april, 2014. final render completed on may 3, 2014. as always, please use headphones.
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/stuck-in-the-middle-of-an-alley-closing-in-on-all-sides-5
this thing has always been difficult to mix, because it's just a wall of fucking sound roaring at you - structured chaos to be sure but it's just loud. it's almost there, though.
i can't claim any specific improvement over the 2006 version. i mean, there's a reason i skipped over this last summer; i didn't think i could improve upon it. it's different, sure, but it's not really "better", and i'm not expecting that it's going to be. this is not an update on the final version. but it needs to be done for the thru project.
i mean, it's interesting, no doubt, but in a pretty geeky way that's only going to appeal to any segment of the fan base that also produces...
i can't claim any specific improvement over the 2006 version. i mean, there's a reason i skipped over this last summer; i didn't think i could improve upon it. it's different, sure, but it's not really "better", and i'm not expecting that it's going to be. this is not an update on the final version. but it needs to be done for the thru project.
i mean, it's interesting, no doubt, but in a pretty geeky way that's only going to appeal to any segment of the fan base that also produces...
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
so, that was a relatively long break. it's ok, i think i needed to come at some of this stuff with a fresh perspective. but i'll be seriously back at it this afternoon.
i knew that copying information off facebook would get tedious and time consuming if i were to start it, and that is indeed what happened. my only real justification is that i was sick.
i've actually cleared off five years of facebook comments. it's left a lot of incoherent conversations on other people's profiles. but it is actually done. and that blog is not likely to come back up for a while, which i think is also positive. what's left on my personal page is a sort of a cv. feel free to sort through it if you'd like.
i have four more profiles to wipe clean (two music review profiles, a political link dump and this) but they're going to come together very slowly over many weeks - an hour or two a day until it's complete. this profile is slated to be shut down last. it could be up to six months.
for now, i'm going to be adding to the following single this afternoon by creating a vst mix:
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/the-symphony-of-psilocybin-induced-madness
this vst mix will also appear on the second half of the 2xcd thru collection:
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/thru
i knew that copying information off facebook would get tedious and time consuming if i were to start it, and that is indeed what happened. my only real justification is that i was sick.
i've actually cleared off five years of facebook comments. it's left a lot of incoherent conversations on other people's profiles. but it is actually done. and that blog is not likely to come back up for a while, which i think is also positive. what's left on my personal page is a sort of a cv. feel free to sort through it if you'd like.
i have four more profiles to wipe clean (two music review profiles, a political link dump and this) but they're going to come together very slowly over many weeks - an hour or two a day until it's complete. this profile is slated to be shut down last. it could be up to six months.
for now, i'm going to be adding to the following single this afternoon by creating a vst mix:
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/the-symphony-of-psilocybin-induced-madness
this vst mix will also appear on the second half of the 2xcd thru collection:
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/thru
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
Sunday, January 4, 2015
you know, for once, it'd be nice to see a parody of existentialism that doesn't miss the point altogether (and i'm not sure how he's characterizing the statement about artistic integrity as randian except by wording it in a bizarre way, although i'll admit i ran into a few people at occupy that tried to merge worker politics with support for ron paul - and were promptly made fun of).
see, it doesn't matter if he gets through college and gets a higher paying job or if he takes the job as an office temp (although reality is that he'll be lucky if his college diploma gets him a paying job in an office, that's where mom's social standing plays a role). whether he's making $50/hr or $10/hr, his life will still lack meaning. he'll still be forced into employment he has no interest in. the point is that the effort and the social standing that comes with it doesn't make a difference in an individual's happiness.
nor is the doctor's ferrari anything more than a temporary alleviation of the deep emptiness that defines his existence.
it would be easier if more people realized all of this, as building a movement to create a system that provides meaning would actually become possible. alas, we're instead persistently driven into the false promises of illusory happiness that consumer culture provides for us.
now, if you'll excuse me, i am going to ponderously play a single chord on an out of tune guitar for an hour as i meditate on the purposelessness of capitalism.
see, it doesn't matter if he gets through college and gets a higher paying job or if he takes the job as an office temp (although reality is that he'll be lucky if his college diploma gets him a paying job in an office, that's where mom's social standing plays a role). whether he's making $50/hr or $10/hr, his life will still lack meaning. he'll still be forced into employment he has no interest in. the point is that the effort and the social standing that comes with it doesn't make a difference in an individual's happiness.
nor is the doctor's ferrari anything more than a temporary alleviation of the deep emptiness that defines his existence.
it would be easier if more people realized all of this, as building a movement to create a system that provides meaning would actually become possible. alas, we're instead persistently driven into the false promises of illusory happiness that consumer culture provides for us.
now, if you'll excuse me, i am going to ponderously play a single chord on an out of tune guitar for an hour as i meditate on the purposelessness of capitalism.
Saturday, January 3, 2015
uploading nothing to say to youtube
so, the track switched on wednesday but i was too sick to say much about it. maybe it's sort of fitting.
this is the last track on cassette demo #2 and will be up until the end of january. the demo material will then cycle around for a bit, but i won't post that here. that means this is the last youtube update on this page until the beginning of may, when the feature switches out of my mid 90s punk phase and into my late 90s electronic phase.
hopefully, i'm out of my sophomore slump by then, too.
i actually expect to be a good ways into the discography by may - perhaps as far as 2006.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZ37S6tpDJ4
this is the last track on cassette demo #2 and will be up until the end of january. the demo material will then cycle around for a bit, but i won't post that here. that means this is the last youtube update on this page until the beginning of may, when the feature switches out of my mid 90s punk phase and into my late 90s electronic phase.
hopefully, i'm out of my sophomore slump by then, too.
i actually expect to be a good ways into the discography by may - perhaps as far as 2006.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZ37S6tpDJ4
obligatory influential on song of the month post...
i can't figure out what the hell was influencing me on this particular track, but i can hear a bit of deleo in the short guitar solo, and it's head-scratching enough that it fits. i'm reaching, though. it's not characteristic of my own work.
this record? i think it's aged well. i gotta lean towards the preceding record as the better crafted disc, but this is a perfectly worthy follow-up - and remains the only thing they've released that comes close to matching that universally acknowledged classic.
(relevant tracks: nothing to say, but deleo is a general guitar influence with that jazzy classic rock grunge fusion of his)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSuyEpcj_D0
i can't figure out what the hell was influencing me on this particular track, but i can hear a bit of deleo in the short guitar solo, and it's head-scratching enough that it fits. i'm reaching, though. it's not characteristic of my own work.
this record? i think it's aged well. i gotta lean towards the preceding record as the better crafted disc, but this is a perfectly worthy follow-up - and remains the only thing they've released that comes close to matching that universally acknowledged classic.
(relevant tracks: nothing to say, but deleo is a general guitar influence with that jazzy classic rock grunge fusion of his)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSuyEpcj_D0
Friday, January 2, 2015
"mom" seems to have snuck by 2,000 listens when i wasn't paying attention and is my first upload to do so. it's separated out from "boogeyman" by about 200 hits since october, meaning it remains my top track by a good margin.
this version of "mom" will not appear on the front page ever again, as the first demo is completed and it's not on the mix tape. as i mentioned before: it was sort of predictable, given the nature of the track. but i'd really rather something else was in top spot, because i don't expect it's popularity is a result of the track being understood properly. so, it's kind of fitting, but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. "boogeyman" has 8 days left over the mix tape cycle (that's inri003), which will be enough to close the gap a little.
however, barring some unforeseen event, it seems like "mom" will retain the top spot until i get to inrisampled (inri004) which represents the segue between period 1.1 and period 1.2. this will be in the front slot for nearly four months and should consequently shoot rather far out ahead of everything else.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oSadVCVav8
this version of "mom" will not appear on the front page ever again, as the first demo is completed and it's not on the mix tape. as i mentioned before: it was sort of predictable, given the nature of the track. but i'd really rather something else was in top spot, because i don't expect it's popularity is a result of the track being understood properly. so, it's kind of fitting, but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. "boogeyman" has 8 days left over the mix tape cycle (that's inri003), which will be enough to close the gap a little.
however, barring some unforeseen event, it seems like "mom" will retain the top spot until i get to inrisampled (inri004) which represents the segue between period 1.1 and period 1.2. this will be in the front slot for nearly four months and should consequently shoot rather far out ahead of everything else.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oSadVCVav8
Thursday, January 1, 2015
it's funny how the coughing itself can tire you out, even as you're just getting over it, making it seem like you got kicked back to the start of it. woke up feeling like somebody spent eight hours jumping on my chest....
it was the perfect storm to ignite my asthma/bronchitis. it's a result of living in a second-hand smoke environment when i was a kid, and comes up whenever i get a flu in the winter. it happened before i started smoking, smoking hasn't made it worse and quitting won't make it better (although i haven't been smoking a lot lately). the flu comes and goes in 24-72 hours, but the bronchitis it triggers can last for up to six weeks after it's gone.
i'm a pretty strong advocate of the idea that people between 17 and 60 should *not* be getting yearly flu vaccines - we're better off fighting it ourselves. unless we get a nasty strain.,..
...but i think i'm finally accepting that the bronchitis has put me in the "special" category, and i may finally crack next year.
i honestly think i just sort of got used to it.
it was the perfect storm to ignite my asthma/bronchitis. it's a result of living in a second-hand smoke environment when i was a kid, and comes up whenever i get a flu in the winter. it happened before i started smoking, smoking hasn't made it worse and quitting won't make it better (although i haven't been smoking a lot lately). the flu comes and goes in 24-72 hours, but the bronchitis it triggers can last for up to six weeks after it's gone.
i'm a pretty strong advocate of the idea that people between 17 and 60 should *not* be getting yearly flu vaccines - we're better off fighting it ourselves. unless we get a nasty strain.,..
...but i think i'm finally accepting that the bronchitis has put me in the "special" category, and i may finally crack next year.
i honestly think i just sort of got used to it.
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