untitled (out of ram mix)

so, i've spent most of the night listening to two nearly identical versions of this track and trying to decide which one i want to use.

when i initially recorded the track in cakewalk (as an experiment with the program) on a windows 98 machine, i ran out of ram after eight tracks and had to go back to my normal wave editor collage-build mixing process to finish it. unfortunately, i didn't really like the edits i made and ended up defaulting to this version for many years. however, it was only saved in mp3...

on aug 11, 2010, i converted the track to 32-bit directly from the mp3 (which i verified in dec, 2014 via phase inversion) and uploaded it to bandcamp, as a part of the never really finished and with now unclear future tetris project. while i don't feel that the sound quality of the track is sufficient to act as a base for a final version, the process of compressing, decompressing and then converting to 32-bit produced something special on the bottom end that i feel is worth keeping for it's own sake. however, i'm going to have to keep the track as download-only for two reasons. the first is that i'd have to convert back to 16-bit to burn it. the second is that there's not going to be room on the disc for it, anyways.

so, i'm leaving that as it is - and the next thing i'm going to do is revisit the remix of this that i did to emulate it. now, yes, i'm going to take a snapshot at this point, but it's also going to act as the core of the final mix, so it's going to have to be a little more produced sounding. that's kind of why i felt the need to make this available. it seemed foolish to sit there and try and make a clean mix sound like a muddled mp3 mix; i got a cool bass sound out of the compression, and i should just let that be. if i'm going to remix it, it makes more sense to remix it for optimal quality.

so, that's the next thing. i've got a few hours to blow while i wait for the temperature to hit zero, then i need to do groceries. it won't be done today, but it will probably be done and uploaded for tomorrow.

this is dated to sept 1, 2002.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/untitled-original-out-of-ram-mix

i saw it again out the window tonight...

it's definitely too small to be a cougar, but the tail is too big to be a house cat.

it might be a fisher.

this is outside the fisher range, though. hrmmn. it's in the "historic range".

it could have been a pet. either way, i don't think it's cause for concern. there's my "testing" and neutralizing...

i mean, fishers are violent, nasty things. no doubt. but they're not powerful enough to pose me a serious threat the way a mountain lion would...

removing corrupted files from youtube

i just took four more songs down and will promise to be more careful about uploading things in the future. everything up here is now done, with the exception of that intro track which needs to be completed.

taken down...

1) this is out of sync and will require a re-render. it was rendered in a hurry on equipment i wouldn't normally use to render and i didn't even think to check the latency.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/orb-symphony


2) this is the track i'm currently working on completing, and a complete version will be the next upload.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/untitled-ep-single


3 & 4 were stranded versions of the following tracks:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/strung-out


https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/trepanation-nation


they were all uploaded haphazardly when my drive crashed, and, again i lost hits on that. that's about 1000 lost hits. but they weren't done...

alright, finally. back at it as of right now...

i said when i started inri042 that it wouldn't take long, and then got stuck playing with a guitar sampler before i realized i had to put it aside to come back fresh at it. the basic reality that this isn't a complex process remains true, so it should be up fairly quickly.

after this, the next track to finish is this "ostrich" thing that was initially meant as sarah's christmas present for 2002. i ended up shelving it in favour of "flying". i'm not sure exactly how this is going to work out, but it's going to finish several releases simultaneously - there'll be a single that will represent that birthday present, it will be the last track for j^2 and it will be the last component of thru (excepting a vst reversion of the birdsong). rather than produce separate singles for all of this, i may construct a "bird ep". birds were a thematic point for me, coming from several different angles; i'll explain all of this as it comes up.

my fifth symphony comes up next and i'm going to need to listen to it closely to determine the right approach. the early 2002 release will likely come up unaltered; i'll leave any mods for further releases.

there's going to be an ambient works after that, which will be a compilation. i'm going to want to sequence it, but it shouldn't be long, either.

that will take me up until i got back from bc, where i'm going to need to pause to analyze the best way to present some material. my sixth symphony is also in a completed form. there will be a few demos that will need to come up, as is, as well.

the next major project will be my seventh symphony, which is about 80% done. my eighth symphony will need to follow, and it is not recorded at all. there's a few minor projects to clean up in the middle of there. there's a programming project dated to late 2004 that i'm not sure i want to take on at all and will have to think carefully about.

i've been saying for a while that i will be rapidly jumping from late 2002 to late 2004, and it hasn't happened yet. but it will be happening right now. i want to at least get to that point by february 17th, when i have an important appointment scheduled. so, i think you can expect a lot of uploads and very little talking over the next month.

this will get me through the tail end of my second period and through the part of the third period that i have completed. the second half of my third period is going to require approaching demos from scratch and will *not* be a quick project.

symphony 5 and 6 are basically complete, and exist on youtube. symphony 7 is incomplete and only exists online right now as the third component of this gestating double record. symphony 8 will be the fourth and final component. this is the major result of my third period.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/e


this is a demo of the 8th symphony:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/the-lost-symphony-winter-2007


that ^ actually includes the end of the 7th, as well.

and, now there's cougars EVERYWHERE....

part of the reason i'm not calling this in is that i *know* i have an irrational fear of predatory cats. like, i know there's not really a cougar lurking in the bushes across the street - even though, if there was a cougar around here, it would be a good place to check. i know it's the wind, combined with my eyes playing tricks on me (and my eyesight not being very good, when discussing distances). what looks like a cougar is probably just an oddly shaped branch. i realize this.

i have a number of irrational fears like that. usually i can work it out. this undiagnosed schizophrenia is a double-edged sword when the individual has a worldview rooted in empiricism. it pulls on you. it's nagging. but there's usually a way to *test* it, and then you know. the problem with the predatory cats fear is that if you're legitimately concerned that there's a cougar lurking in the bushes then going over to investigate isn't the best approach to dealing with it because if there *is* a cougar in there - however unlikely - then you become lunch. as i can't test this, i can't neutralize it.

i'm pretty sure it ultimately stems from studying them when i was a kid. and, this is actually something i've been dealing with since i was about eight. i have very clear memories of seeing a tiger in my neighbourhood when i was a kid, and avoiding a specific area because i was certain of it. i guess the trend over the last little while has been with dinosaurs; it's not uncommon to meet kids that can classify every type of jurassic diapsid - and i was admittedly pretty good at that myself. but i had a thing with cats, specifically. i could tell you the difference between a jaguarundi and an ocelot, tell you what their ranges were, whether they were endangered or not, etc. so, when i say i saw a bengal tiger near the pool, i meant a bengal tiger - because i knew.

but, of course, it was probably always the result of an overactive imagination. it's probably a better idea to get your kids classifying dinosaurs than predatory cats, because they're going to understand that the chances of coming face to face with an albertosaurus are pretty remote. predatory cats, however, still exist.

there's really only one that we're likely to come face-to-face with here in canada. hence, the fear of cougars.

i was a total nervous wreck when i was hitchhiking through bc, convinced i was going to be mauled. it's my most vivid memory of the trip, which i'm getting to in the musical chronology. and that might have something to do with this, right now.

but it's just a lot easier to work it out in my head than it is to actually shake it.

i expected this was going to happen...

my isp is cutting my plan out. they just doubled my usage cap from 75 gb to 150 gb and increased my bill by $3. but, these are my actual usage stats recently:

nov: 15 gb
dec: 9 gb
jan: 8 gb (so far)

i wouldn't want lower than 50 gb, for the security blanket. but i'm rarely going to go over 20 gb. 150 gb is completely useless to me.

i'm not going to make any changes, because it's still under $30, which is my breaking point. for now, i can just treat this as inflation. i refuse to pay more than that. why? because i always had unlimited access for less than that. i don't want or need more bandwidth. i want a cheap plan in the 3-10 mbps range, and i'll take as low as a 50 gb limit if i have to.

but, it's coming up on it. and if i can't find the cheap enough option, i'm willing to cancel altogether. if you don't believe me, take note: i believe phones are overpriced and haven't paid for one in over five years.

i have no problem going to the library every few days instead...

like, i guess i'm ok with usage-based billing on some level - if you cut the flat rate. go ahead and charge me $1/gb or something. if you make it flat, i'm going to save money, in the long run, because my usage is so low.

but don't sell me a service i don't want, and then deny me the opportunity to downgrade....

i guess i'm still old-fashioned, in the sense that the dominant thing i do on the internet is READ.

yeah...

if i saw a cougar zoom by, it seems to have been smart enough to take the sidewalk to avoid tracks. and i DID see it up along the sidewalk. but there's no tracks coming on or off the sidewalk. more importantly, there's no tracks coming back and forth from the tree, which is what i was really worried about.

there's some tracks across the street, but they look smaller. skunk, maybe. or even a house cat.

so, i basically have no evidence. and i'm not calling in such an outlandish claim with no evidence. i'm not going out after dark for a while, though....

i tell you, though, it sure looked like one. but it was dark.

actually, i think i just saw a fucking cougar outside the window.

i said "clear canid tracks". well, all i could tell was that they weren't human, really, and that they were quite large. clear, large paws. but could i tell the difference between wolf/coyote tracks and cougar tracks? no. but, i mean, coyotes wouldn't be that unusual. a cougar, on the other hand...

i just had a bad feeling about going out for a smoke tonight, so i had one in my back room instead. i looked out the window and saw a rather large cat zoom by on the sidewalk...much, much larger than the one that hangs out around here...

...and not the same colour. yes, it was dark. and it admittedly seemed to have more of that bobcat grey than that cougar peach. but it also had a long tail, which bobcats and lynxes don't have.

is this even possible? are there cougars around here? that's a tricky question. apparently, the answer is an emphatic yes, but it's not entirely clear what their range is or where they've come from. the official story is that they were hunted to extinction in this region well over a hundred years ago, but there have been consistent unconfirmed reports of cougars in the region basically ever since. and there have been confirmed reports in southern ontario over the last few years, with some people believing that they're migrating back into the area, others believing that some "pets escaped" and still others arguing that they never really were extinct in the first place. there have apparently been numerous sightings in the waterloo region, recently.

i didn't get a really good look - not good enough to state it was really a cougar with any certainty. those tracks are long gone. and i'm not going back out until the sun comes back up.

but i'll have to check for tracks in the morning.

i think it would be rather remarkable to confirm a cougar sighting in an urban area like this.

http://blogs.windsorstar.com/news/cougar-sighted-near-ganatchio-trail

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/windsor/alleged-cougar-spotted-in-southern-ontario-1.1252531

it seems like grey cougars are a thing that exists. hrmmn. that was my largest point of skepticism.

i think i saw a cougar on my front lawn. creepy.

ok, i just finally finished that. fuck. i'm not touching it for a while. it's a vortex of wasted time...sucks you right in...

back to work after "lunch".

987 pages, so far, btw.

yeah, i'm not doing this. or not right now. i feel like i'm forcing it.and i've bought eps with forced remixes that aren't worth it. it's not like i have a demand to print this. if i do print it, though, i'll have to think about this before i get there.

i want this to come to me more organically. it's like...i have the abstract idea of wanting to take it in that more glitch hop direction, but i don't have a concrete plan and don't want to just fuck with it for content.

more likely is that i'll be playing with something at some point and it will click. for now, on to inri042...

i've been sleepy. think it's the weather. another short day....

i'm still undecided. it's just...

that time single is not sitting so well with me. it seems a little haphazard. 35 minutes is a little short. i feel it needs at least one further remix....

but the "glitch hop" mix i want to do is sort of similar to the instrumental that is up.

i'm still thinking about this. i should really just sit down and do it. but i want the link dump cleared up until i moved to windsor before i move forwards, which is another month.

ok, i'm basically done. another hour. i've worked it down to a question of whether i want to do another remix of time or not and am leaning against it for right now....but i have to make that decision in the next hour or two...

i think i should be back to inri042 by around midnight.

some people drink 3/4 of a bottle of something on their birthday and pass out somewhere.

i ate 3/4 of an x-large pizza and passed out somewhere (safe). although it may have been the cough syrup. so, maybe not tomorrow, but the next day at the latest...

i probably won't eat for like a week, now....

i will be finished what i'm doing tonight and moving on to finishing inri042 tomorrow.

siren’s sound review

for the sake of transparency, this post came up on my request, and it seems like the "reviewer" (he's more of a link sharer than a reviewer) was a little befuddled by it.

his analysis...

A TOTALLY STRANGE FORM OF PSYCHEDELIC NOISE

well, it fits. and to an extent i revel in that sort of confused reaction; it means i'm doing something right. but it's the kind of site where the odd person that stumbles upon it might connect with it, so this is a good start with this...

http://www.thesirenssound.com/2015/01/12/deny-everything/

i'm going to get something like 1/1000 on youtube. i might get 1/100 or something at a site like that. the flip side is i'm going to get ten times as much traffic at youtube....

well, he took me *half* seriously. and it turns out he could fill out the forms, but decided not to. instead, i got two appointments in february - which is enough to string me along without pulling off the aspirin stunt. it's still possible, but not for another month. we'll see how that goes.

i dropped some hints, mentioned i may need to "generate a crisis", so it shouldn't be a total surprise. i think he's mostly got me coming back in for observation on the 2nd; i can see an actual psychiatrist on the 17th.

this message will self-destruct in 24 hours.

i just realized they scheduled me with a nurse, who can't fill the forms in, anyways. i don't think it's likely that i'm going to be taken seriously, today.

i'd consequently say it's almost completely certain that i'm going to be in the hospital by noon. i'd just point out that the purpose of this is to create a crisis, because they seem unable to react to perform on a crisis management level and solely able to perform on a crisis response level. that is, i seem to have little choice but to create a crisis situation if i want to get these forms filled in. this is a very stupid/liberal way to organize a system that is likely to cost more in the long run than a focus on prevention would, but we live in a very stupid/liberal society....

the point is that i'm not putting myself in serious danger, at least not today. i will give them a time frame before i begin to consume the aspirin. i will consume the aspirin in the medical facility, if i have to. they will have no choice but to call an ambulance, and they should be able to pump my stomach fairly easily.

i will ensure that this is done in an easy to respond to manner the first few times i do this, because the point is to draw attention to myself rather than to actually succeed. classic cry for help scenario. if this drags on unsuccessfully, and i'm faced with eviction again, i will choose a more decisive way to kill myself than overdosing on aspirin at the doctor's office. i've explained my position on this, and the rational factors that may or may not lead to my decision.

i'll update if there's a different outcome. but that would be a surprise to me.

i've given them every opportunity to respond in accordance with their public mandate, and wash my hands of responsibility regarding the consequences of their inaction.

i can only hope that more people are willing to take this kind of a confrontational stance when it comes to dealing with public institutions that have been co-opted by liberalism, and are now working against their designated purpose.

hopefully, people get fired.

well, i've got all my documents in order. tomorrow morning at 11:00 am. at least it'll be nice out....

i'm going to have to bring up the ms thing. i don't know if there's some kind of test for it. it may be the best way to do this. i mean, i can handle some muscle spasms and stuff but i've recently been getting the classic difficulty swallowing, and i think i'm really better off getting it diagnosed. if i can get them to take me seriously...

it's an mri...

detroit has a serious wild dog problem, but i'm not aware of one here and getting across the river would be rather difficult.

City of Windsor naturalist Paul Pratt said he hears reports of coyote sightings from everywhere in the city, even downtown. Coyotes took down a deer in the woodlot behind his LaSalle house about a month ago.

They’re mostly nocturnal and largely go unnoticed, Pratt said.

“If you have small dogs or cats, you shouldn’t let them out at night unattended, even if you’re in a built-up area.”

He said there are more coyotes in Windsor now because there’s more wildlife in Windsor – skunks, feral cats, groundhogs, possums and deer.

“There’s all this wildlife, something’s got to eat them,” said Pratt. “We have coyotes.”