so, today is the last day of the inri001 youtube promo cycle, and i have to say that hits are down dramatically over the last week (after spiking out of nowhere at the beginning of the month). we're talking shockingly low view counts the last week - the lowest i've seen in months. the curve is actually even in jeopardy...

but that break i had last month really killed the attachment. i ended up beating the curve at the last minute, but i didn't really care that i did. and i don't really care if i do this month or not, either...

but, how did i do over the six months promotional period? well, it looks like i'm going to come up short of 10,000 views on the 8 videos, but it's well over 9500. i would have liked to see that last track get to 1000, but it will reappear in the inriched promo cycle roughly two years from now.

i wasn't expecting to sell any copies of the demo itself (it's only available for download), but i've managed a handful of sales over the last month.

as i switch tracks to inri002 at midnight, i *am* going to want to see the new collection of tracks hit higher view counts. i just want to see progress. i think i can make that happen...

i'm glad i got a nice walk in today, at least. judging from last year, talk of "last nice day of the year" doesn't really apply to windsor. we'll get days in the mid teens throughout the winter, here. it'll rain significantly through each of the winter months. the severity of the weather seems to be defined by the severity of the air masses moving south, with a moderately mild climate in between. that is to say that the average winter day here really hovers around 0, and we only get worse than that when we get blasted by that north wind - but we'll also get much, much nicer than that when humid air masses come from the south. that's a big difference from ottawa, where you can expect week long blasts of -30 in between weeks of highs around -10. but it may be the last day of 20+ weather for a while, so i'm glad i got out to enjoy it. even if i had to deal with some rain...

the rest of the day was a bit more frustrating.

i started with the odsp worker. she wasn't able to suggest a doctor, and even seemed somewhat taken aback by the suggestion, as though it was a corrupt request. after some prodding, i got the suggestion of trying the canadian association for mental health, as they may have better leads.

i spent a while talking to somebody there and the conclusion was twofold.

1) camh is indeed probably my best bet - certainly a better idea than randomly keying in on specific doctors. however,
2) i need to go through a lengthy process of analysis.

i have no doubt that i'm easily diagnosed, if you give me the proper session time. it's actually probably the best approach forward from a larger perspective, as once i get that more serious diagnosis it'll stick with me permanently. i want to get the fucking paperwork done and move on, but i need to be patient about it.

so it means i'm looking at what will probably be weekly sessions for the next few months and not having this worked out until the last minute. i won't be able to see an actual physician that can fill out the papers until jan 12, which is a day before i need to get them in.

if it works out, it's kind of perfect because i wanted to wait until the last minute, anyways. but if it doesn't work out this is probably the end of me...

again: i need to not let it stress me out too much, and just keep my head in the tunes. i just need to make some phone calls tomorrow, and then i should have it off my mind for a while.

i just hope they're not thinking that putting it to the last minute is going to alter my behaviour, because it isn't.

i've expressed myself clearly. i don't think the guy i was speaking to today was really taking me seriously. i think a substantial part of the diagnosis presenting itself needs to exist in believing me when i say this is it - this gets done, or i'm dead.

the moment that logical process is understood as more than a hollow threat is the moment a pathology is established.

the annoying thing about it is it always takes the same form "you should have a good job and be making significant money. you have so much potential. you're too smart to off yourself.". what has to be understood is that the reality is "no amount of income is sufficient to compensate for time wasted in employment. when presented with that choice, i'm too smart to not kill myself.".

the other thing is like....if i think the first couple of sessions are a waste of time, i won't bother completing them, i'll just set the gears in motion....

it's this or broke, really. there's not another option.

i'm resigned to this. i need to try, but i'm not confident in the outcome.

re-uploading the wave (inri053) as a single file

i also got the file length restriction on my account lifted, meaning i'm uploading the wave in one file as it should be. that should be done in a few minutes...

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/the-wave

i spent the morning doing cover art and pressing cds...it's nice to get them out....

for each disc, the first burn is the most time consuming because you have to do the actual layout. as more discs start moving, this should be a quicker process.

right now? i need to eat. you must think i'm always eating. quite the opposite, it's more like i put it off until i fall over and use it as a way to split the day up into pieces. i'm my own slave master, really. no food until the job is done!

but, this afternoon? i probably won't get any drums down, but i should hopefully get everything set up and ready for tomorrow.

i've pressed the following so far:

1) inri023: https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/deny-everything



2) inri029: https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/to-spin-inside-dull-aberrations



3) inri035: https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/clarity

first printed cd of the clarity single

i've got a fan in the uk. i get the impression he's working through the back catalog, so he will likely buy more as it comes up. this is what i was hoping would happen. if somebody really bites, they could drop close to $300 on it.

so, you're around $2.50-$3.00, now. the first one worked out to exactly $0.97. it'll be around $1.50 for the disc.

j

uploading 9:46 to the scratch pad

there's a pre-drum temp mix uploading to the sketchpad. i think i'm done for the day.

i've got the core of it running through a room reverb that's made it sound good overall but the acoustic guitar is a little tinny at points. i'm going to have to find a way to thicken it up.

besides that, this is pretty much it, minus the drums. it's already a significant change from the initial 2002 mix...

yeah. the guitar part in this track is very percussive, in order to compensate for the lack of drums. it's also super busy. what that means is i'm going to have to go to town with this, and drum out the parts that the guitar implies. it should actually sound pretty wacked when it gets put together...

the thing with me and drumming is that if i had found one years ago...

i'd need somebody very good, and what i do is very weird, and i lived in a very artistically dead place most of my life. i should probably start looking more seriously in detroit. my chances are way higher.

but, because i've been in need of a talented drummer so long and been unable to find one, i've come up with various approaches. one of the things i can do is play each drum separately. it's slow, but the reality is that you want each part mic'ed separately for mixing. i can build up complex - and often unusual - parts that way. that's going to be what i'm doing with this, because all the fills are already written in the syncopation.

this could be a few days.

the other thing is that i can't loop this because the parts aren't in any kind of time. i tend to prefer not to anyways - if i'm going to use loops i'd rather use machines for them - but it's not an option, here.

shit, that cage performance is an extended five minute piece. i think i'm looking at ten-fifteen minutes, tops. i'm sure it'll be interesting, but i wish it were a ten minute walk rather than a three-four hour process to get back and forth under the tunnel. i can't help but feel my time is better spent at home.

worse, it's that time of year where 5-6 degrees over night seems like trudging through a -20 blizzard. another week or two and you're used to it, but it's *right* at that icky point.

so, i guess i'm staying in.

i just assumed it was a concert-length piece.

it's more of a lecture, and a short "performance".

the piece is essentially in place. it's breakfast time. but it's mostly just going to be a process of getting the pieces together...

i've got this reasonably synced, although i'm not entirely sure what i'm going to do with it yet.

the initial play on the track was with the digital corruption. it's supposed to be erratic and off-kilter. so, i'm thinking about going with out-of-time live drums to take it to the next level, to start with.

i think that was the only thing i wanted to add to it, but it was vetoed out in favour of the folk aesthetic....

i haven't used the kit yet since i've moved down here. the song only has six tracks, so it's a good way to get it up and running.

i'm also going to need to replace that rondo intro with something really noisy.

lost yesterday. things. i hope to get the 9:46 instrumental synced and at least thought through (or composed) before i head out to see a john cage piece on sunday night.

the day i saw you cry (first demo)

this is a messy folk punk first run through of the second incarnation of this track, which was initially meant to be an industrial/punk song. it would be nice to have another take of this, but i don't have one, so it's better if you interpret this as a bonus track. there are completed versions of this, but they're not like this...

recorded feb 19, 2002.

http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/the-day-i-saw-you-cry-first-demo

9:16 outside of the magenta box

this is the original demo, that the main track was built over. it is completely unaltered from the 2002 file, which was recorded on feb 5, 2002. 

http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/9-16-outside-the-magenta-box

time (rabit is wolf mix)

hrmmn. i'm actually thinking i'm going to need to squeeze another single in to explore time as a techno/hip-hop "thing".

i think this is a good quirky early 00s pop song in the style of garbage or the smashing pumpkins, but the mix never resolved itself and the vocals are, in hindsight, somewhat of a noose around it...

listening to each part separately through headphones is just reminding me how thick it is and how poorly i got the thickness across.

written & recorded in late 2001 and early 2002 and mixed in early 2002.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/time

100,000 hits

yeah, what i uploaded was the best option. ok. i'll get to work on the reconstruction after lunch.

i seem to have taken this 2002 file down in volume for continuity purposes. i may even do it again, but it can't be the alpha.

and, actually, i found a file from 2002 - it was mixed quietly, so i've taken it up, and while it doesn't null with the 2007 mix, it's close. i've got volume differences and cd compression in the way. it certainly nulls more with the 2007 mix than it does with the 2002 mp3, leading me to believe it wasn't burnt from mp3 and the 2007 mix was the original. it's not coming out in the form of a reverb ghost or something, it seems like a volume difference, primarily.

but, i've got an a/b, there. i need to pick one of the two. either the 2002 mix was basically burnt from the same file (meaning the 2007 mix is the original file), or i've got some processing on the 2007 file to find. if i can't hear it, it's not there.....

...and i want to stick with the file at almost exactly the same volume as the 2002 mp3, which is the 2007 file, which is what i had to begin with.

note to self: leave notes to self.

actually, i've found a more scientific way to determine this.

1) the file i uploaded to bandcamp initially (sometime between 07 and 10) seems to be the same as the 2007 file. it's the same size, and it's nulling, even. so, the perception i'm having that the original upload sounds better is psychological.
2) the 2007 file i have is NOT the decompressed mp3, because, if it was, it would null. that being said, the intro nulls. so, i therefore must have taken the intro out of the mp3 and then done something else with the other file.
3) i'm slowly convincing myself that i didn't eq it.

bottom line: that's the file. i'm going to get to the point of remixing it, and i'll compare, but i think i'm dealing with a foobar fail. it sounds "right" in cool edit...

so, i'm about to update that.

actually, it sounds better in cool edit. i'm anal, i know, but sometimes, foobar really doesn't reproduce the files well...

keep in mind, i'm comparing it to a wave editor. maybe that's not fair. but there's gotta be a windows player at this point that's as good as cool edit was c. 2000.....