From: grandmother's email address
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
I'm glad to hear you received it, buy something frivolous with it!We are back in a deep freeze again,how about Windsor?We are in the minus 30 degree range I doubt it would be that cold there.Oh well January is nearly over & I can see the days are getting longer now.All for now~~ Ta Ta.
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Monday, January 20, 2014
uploading ignorance is bliss to youtube
this google/youtube interface is worse than facebook.
if i delete this completely useless comment, the video will disappear from my google+ page. so, i'd get used to seeing empty comments on most videos until whoever designed this horrible system pulls their head out of their own ass.
it would be nice if they'd just spin youtube off, or at least keep them completely separate, but using youtube nowadays more or less means using google+. in time, it will probably destroy youtube. seriously. invest in vimeo. these changes will not be popular.
for the mean time, the empty comment seems to be unavoidable.
it's defiant pointlessness is going to slowly enrage me until it reaches a breaking point, and then i'm going to go on a rampage.
ignorance is bliss [2000]
if i delete this completely useless comment, the video will disappear from my google+ page. so, i'd get used to seeing empty comments on most videos until whoever designed this horrible system pulls their head out of their own ass.
it would be nice if they'd just spin youtube off, or at least keep them completely separate, but using youtube nowadays more or less means using google+. in time, it will probably destroy youtube. seriously. invest in vimeo. these changes will not be popular.
for the mean time, the empty comment seems to be unavoidable.
it's defiant pointlessness is going to slowly enrage me until it reaches a breaking point, and then i'm going to go on a rampage.
ignorance is bliss [2000]
Sunday, January 19, 2014
i got into an argument this evening.
listen: we could build a society where we're not exploiting each other. we have the technology. we just have to do it.
but all anybody ever says is "human nature this" and "work is sacred that". people don't want to build this society, they just want to be the person doing the exploiting.
to an extent, i realize how brainwashed people are, but to an extent they're fulfilling their own prophesy. they don't want to build a society that prevents themselves from holding the whips. people secretly conspire to be monarchs, running their own fiefdoms.
so, fuck you all, then. if you all insist on an exploitative society, i'm not about to bend over and take it. just because you're convinced you can be queen of make-believe land doesn't mean i should have to go do some stupid nonsense all day.
so, i'll exploit y'all by free loading.
don't like that? well, i have plenty of ideas if you want...
oh, i'm a utopian, am i? well, too bad, then. i have alternatives, but if you're going to fix my choice between getting fucked over and fucking you over because you want to fuck me over, then i'm going to fuck you over.
and fuck you for getting upset about it.
no rational individual would choose being exploited by others over exploiting others. it's not the choice i want, but it's the choice i have.
(the truth is i could fudge the accounting so that i'm living off of excess production, meaning i don't actually cost society a dime that they wouldn't have flushed down the toilet anyways, but it's an arbitrary exercise, and it really ignores the point.)
(at the end of the day, 75% of the money they give me goes back to them in taxes - most of it in property taxes. almost all of the rest of it goes towards food that would get thrown out if nobody bought it. i don't really cost the system anything in any kind of measurable terms.)
the day the local supermarket runs out of food, get back to me on this, but i'm not holding my breath on that.
listen: we could build a society where we're not exploiting each other. we have the technology. we just have to do it.
but all anybody ever says is "human nature this" and "work is sacred that". people don't want to build this society, they just want to be the person doing the exploiting.
to an extent, i realize how brainwashed people are, but to an extent they're fulfilling their own prophesy. they don't want to build a society that prevents themselves from holding the whips. people secretly conspire to be monarchs, running their own fiefdoms.
so, fuck you all, then. if you all insist on an exploitative society, i'm not about to bend over and take it. just because you're convinced you can be queen of make-believe land doesn't mean i should have to go do some stupid nonsense all day.
so, i'll exploit y'all by free loading.
don't like that? well, i have plenty of ideas if you want...
oh, i'm a utopian, am i? well, too bad, then. i have alternatives, but if you're going to fix my choice between getting fucked over and fucking you over because you want to fuck me over, then i'm going to fuck you over.
and fuck you for getting upset about it.
no rational individual would choose being exploited by others over exploiting others. it's not the choice i want, but it's the choice i have.
(the truth is i could fudge the accounting so that i'm living off of excess production, meaning i don't actually cost society a dime that they wouldn't have flushed down the toilet anyways, but it's an arbitrary exercise, and it really ignores the point.)
(at the end of the day, 75% of the money they give me goes back to them in taxes - most of it in property taxes. almost all of the rest of it goes towards food that would get thrown out if nobody bought it. i don't really cost the system anything in any kind of measurable terms.)
the day the local supermarket runs out of food, get back to me on this, but i'm not holding my breath on that.
change of strategy. it's a little indulgent, but it's the only way to approach the material comprehensively that maintains both the conceptual unity of the period, in a historical sense, and the chronological continuity moving many years into the future.
i have four midi compositions from early 2001: stuck in the middle of an alley that is closing in on all sides, the symphony of psilocybin induced madness, the time machine and the intersection of two identical particles moving in complete opposite directions. together, this implies that i was feeling trapped studying particle physics and responded by doing mushrooms and reading science fiction. or maybe not.
each of these tracks has multiple different versions, not the least of which includes a stark contrast between a midi version and a version with live guitars (although only the second has been recorded with live guitars, as of now). so, i'm going to record these tracks with live guitars. this is what i'm doing, here, i'm cleaning up my old tracks. i've hit the point where it's time to actually record some music.
i'm going to package it up in three ways (and for the symphony, actually 5). first, each of these tracks will come in their own singles. the singles will include midi mixes, live mixes and mixes in between. second, the midi mixes will be extracted to form their own lp, with a release date at the end of 2001 (and that also includes further midi songs, including a perverted choral piece (i'm going to think about ways to create this using samples) and a rave version of beethoven's fifth). third, the live versions will be further sequenced together in tetris.
this will allow the listener to either (1) listen to all the versions of a specific song, and/or (2) listen to all the midi versions of all the songs and/or (3) listen to all the live versions of all the songs.
however, i'm putting this on pause for a few days. i've been neglecting my reading in a rush to get to the point where i have some recording to do. it won't take more than a few days to catch up on the reading, at which point i'll put my schedule (half day reading, half day recording) back in place.
you can follow along with the reading over here if you'd like:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/dgkfgkdjdgkhyffa/121496877937755
i have four midi compositions from early 2001: stuck in the middle of an alley that is closing in on all sides, the symphony of psilocybin induced madness, the time machine and the intersection of two identical particles moving in complete opposite directions. together, this implies that i was feeling trapped studying particle physics and responded by doing mushrooms and reading science fiction. or maybe not.
each of these tracks has multiple different versions, not the least of which includes a stark contrast between a midi version and a version with live guitars (although only the second has been recorded with live guitars, as of now). so, i'm going to record these tracks with live guitars. this is what i'm doing, here, i'm cleaning up my old tracks. i've hit the point where it's time to actually record some music.
i'm going to package it up in three ways (and for the symphony, actually 5). first, each of these tracks will come in their own singles. the singles will include midi mixes, live mixes and mixes in between. second, the midi mixes will be extracted to form their own lp, with a release date at the end of 2001 (and that also includes further midi songs, including a perverted choral piece (i'm going to think about ways to create this using samples) and a rave version of beethoven's fifth). third, the live versions will be further sequenced together in tetris.
this will allow the listener to either (1) listen to all the versions of a specific song, and/or (2) listen to all the midi versions of all the songs and/or (3) listen to all the live versions of all the songs.
however, i'm putting this on pause for a few days. i've been neglecting my reading in a rush to get to the point where i have some recording to do. it won't take more than a few days to catch up on the reading, at which point i'll put my schedule (half day reading, half day recording) back in place.
you can follow along with the reading over here if you'd like:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/dgkfgkdjdgkhyffa/121496877937755
ERROR: SENSORY OVERLOAD.
you have too many soundcards. please decide upon one soundcard and try again.
the setup is ridiculous. i've got cubase hooked up to an alesis multimix, which is great for recording multiple parts simultaneously. the pod has a soundcard in it, but i don't direct in much. if i'm going to direct in, i'd rather use an old soundblaster live drive!. and there's an m-audio for playback. i should probably point out that i've got the motherboard's hd chip turned right off [the drivers seems to want to dominate when they're installed].
so, now i'm playing back old midi files and am just being overwhelmed by the possibilities. worse, each synth has three or four different outs and they do all sound differently. i've determined that the "guitars" sound best through the soundblaster, but the drums sound best through the m-audio. so i'm probably going to actually mix it down from multiple synths....
i thought this would be fast and simple. guess not.
you have too many soundcards. please decide upon one soundcard and try again.
the setup is ridiculous. i've got cubase hooked up to an alesis multimix, which is great for recording multiple parts simultaneously. the pod has a soundcard in it, but i don't direct in much. if i'm going to direct in, i'd rather use an old soundblaster live drive!. and there's an m-audio for playback. i should probably point out that i've got the motherboard's hd chip turned right off [the drivers seems to want to dominate when they're installed].
so, now i'm playing back old midi files and am just being overwhelmed by the possibilities. worse, each synth has three or four different outs and they do all sound differently. i've determined that the "guitars" sound best through the soundblaster, but the drums sound best through the m-audio. so i'm probably going to actually mix it down from multiple synths....
i thought this would be fast and simple. guess not.
Saturday, January 18, 2014
as mentioned in the update i just posted to jan 1, 2001, this run through my discography is entering a phase (very late 2000 to very early 2002, and beyond, actually) where i spent a lot of time writing music into score writers. the program i used was called 'noteworthy composer', which is a shareware program from the windows 9x period that was never bettered on the windows platform in terms of ease of use (although i admit i've used mac programs that equal it in this way). i don't know why so many windows programs thought users would prefer to use mice over keyboards to enter notes. it's a horribly slow process...and don't even get me started on that icky cubase roll shit...
anyways, it's something like composing in finale or sibelius, just using a program that i find to have a more efficient graphical user interface. the end result of that process creates a midi file that's designed to be played with a synthesizer.
i've considered doing so, but i'm deciding not to market this as chiptune. it isn't computer game music, or at least isn't in the sense of sounding like existing game music. nor is it written into a chip, or created using trackers, it's written into a score writer like a piece of classical music would be. there are overlaps due to the shared tools, but i've never been a gamer and haven't been influenced by that sound. it would be disingenuous.
...but what's coming is different than what i've posted previously. the idea will show up in projects that follow, but not to the same extent.
i'm also considering writing some facelifts into some existing ry30/midi combos from the inri period. it's all put aside. how much i'm going to do, i don't know yet. but, it's going to depend partially on the length of the record i get up. there's nearly an hour of scored music from 2001. i don't want to go over 80 minutes.
some of it has already been recorded conventionally; some of it will be recorded conventionally in the near future. i'm not letting that get in the way of getting the midi files up. from a historical perspective, that's what i was doing, so that's what i'm uploading.
this project is going to bleed most naturally into the tetris project.
unfortunately, i don't have proper dates for this material, either. it's all dated to may 15, 2003. the software i was using to burn seems to have chosen the burn date. this is a massive annoyance for everything up until may, 2003.
lastly, i'm going to have to decide whether i want to use existing renderings or re-render. midi files sound differently through different synths.
all of that means that it could be up to a week before this is uploaded. i'm going to want to upload it all at the same time....
====
cited update
the first half of 2001 is a slightly blurry period for me. musically, i was in a "serious music" phase that included an interest in the classical guitar and a lot of writing into score-writers. while actual recorded music in this period is minimal, i was doing quite a lot of writing in various contexts. my thinking in the period was more dominated by political research than musical thought. in conjunction to this, i think i was dealing with my first bout of (still undiagnosed) schizophrenia.
it was around this point that i started scrawling graphic relationships all over my wall, as can be seen in my deny everything cover art and other scattered fragments that have been saved. i launched my first research website some time around here.
i worked three jobs over the summer and walked out of the experience slightly damaged. then 9/11 happened, which hit me in a peculiar way because it seemed like it was the actualization of all the things i was studying. i understand, now, that i was actually being prepared for it. that is to say not myself, personally, but the internet, in general. that might be hard for younger people to grasp, but the internet seems to have been very controlled at this point in ways that were neither intuitive then nor now.
either way, two things happened in the fall that pulled me away from the research and got me back into the recording process - the first was 9/11 and the second was a project that a friend of mine was working on, first called the cynicide collaboration and later converted into rabit iz wolf. moving into 2002, that would be the main focus of my musical energy.
for this period, though, there's not much - just a few messy guitar pieces and a handful of scores that in some cases have still not been addressed. yet, i am going to address those scores now.
anyways, it's something like composing in finale or sibelius, just using a program that i find to have a more efficient graphical user interface. the end result of that process creates a midi file that's designed to be played with a synthesizer.
i've considered doing so, but i'm deciding not to market this as chiptune. it isn't computer game music, or at least isn't in the sense of sounding like existing game music. nor is it written into a chip, or created using trackers, it's written into a score writer like a piece of classical music would be. there are overlaps due to the shared tools, but i've never been a gamer and haven't been influenced by that sound. it would be disingenuous.
...but what's coming is different than what i've posted previously. the idea will show up in projects that follow, but not to the same extent.
i'm also considering writing some facelifts into some existing ry30/midi combos from the inri period. it's all put aside. how much i'm going to do, i don't know yet. but, it's going to depend partially on the length of the record i get up. there's nearly an hour of scored music from 2001. i don't want to go over 80 minutes.
some of it has already been recorded conventionally; some of it will be recorded conventionally in the near future. i'm not letting that get in the way of getting the midi files up. from a historical perspective, that's what i was doing, so that's what i'm uploading.
this project is going to bleed most naturally into the tetris project.
unfortunately, i don't have proper dates for this material, either. it's all dated to may 15, 2003. the software i was using to burn seems to have chosen the burn date. this is a massive annoyance for everything up until may, 2003.
lastly, i'm going to have to decide whether i want to use existing renderings or re-render. midi files sound differently through different synths.
all of that means that it could be up to a week before this is uploaded. i'm going to want to upload it all at the same time....
====
cited update
the first half of 2001 is a slightly blurry period for me. musically, i was in a "serious music" phase that included an interest in the classical guitar and a lot of writing into score-writers. while actual recorded music in this period is minimal, i was doing quite a lot of writing in various contexts. my thinking in the period was more dominated by political research than musical thought. in conjunction to this, i think i was dealing with my first bout of (still undiagnosed) schizophrenia.
it was around this point that i started scrawling graphic relationships all over my wall, as can be seen in my deny everything cover art and other scattered fragments that have been saved. i launched my first research website some time around here.
i worked three jobs over the summer and walked out of the experience slightly damaged. then 9/11 happened, which hit me in a peculiar way because it seemed like it was the actualization of all the things i was studying. i understand, now, that i was actually being prepared for it. that is to say not myself, personally, but the internet, in general. that might be hard for younger people to grasp, but the internet seems to have been very controlled at this point in ways that were neither intuitive then nor now.
either way, two things happened in the fall that pulled me away from the research and got me back into the recording process - the first was 9/11 and the second was a project that a friend of mine was working on, first called the cynicide collaboration and later converted into rabit iz wolf. moving into 2002, that would be the main focus of my musical energy.
for this period, though, there's not much - just a few messy guitar pieces and a handful of scores that in some cases have still not been addressed. yet, i am going to address those scores now.
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