i kind of expected i'd be writing symphonies at some point and didn't want to steal a number from myself. this is more of an experiment than a symphony, even though it gets a little "symphonic".
more importantly, it's the first serious example of me putting my long-held disdain for the idea that music should have a "theory" (an idea that i think is preposterous) into real action. it's the first exploration of a long mental process that has yet to reach it's conclusion. i'm very adamantly of the view that art is not a realm where theories should exist or be viewed with anything other than scorn. theories are rigid, formal things; art is informal, chaotic.
the track is composed of a single brief melody that was chosen by randomly mashing notes into a scorewriter. i then took that melody and pasted it over top of itself at differing speeds. i then took that and pasted it over itself, backwards.
that might sound like it's going to sound awful, but it actually sounds quite lovely. one could analyze it quite easily, but it's creation is beyond the realm of any rules of construction.
which is where art belongs.
recorded in june, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/symphony-0
Thursday, November 14, 2013
the phantom of the opera (original album mix)
a synth-pop cover of the popera classic...
i decided to do this tongue-in-check because the preceding track borrows a little from the melody at the very end. in that sense, the cover is meant to be the second half of the preceding track. it also functions as an intro to the next, building a bridge between the two tracks.
i think it's kind of groovy, actually. the percussion is a looped sample of a washing machine....
recorded in june, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/the-phantom-of-the-opera-3
i decided to do this tongue-in-check because the preceding track borrows a little from the melody at the very end. in that sense, the cover is meant to be the second half of the preceding track. it also functions as an intro to the next, building a bridge between the two tracks.
i think it's kind of groovy, actually. the percussion is a looped sample of a washing machine....
recorded in june, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/the-phantom-of-the-opera-3
weedin’ the yard (original album mix)
i was flirting fairly heavily with glitch around this period. insofar as my exploration of the topic is concerned, this would be the furthest i would delve into it, properly.
what i did to create this mess was take the dub out of an old double cassette deck and plug it into it's own in. this created a feedback loop that i was able to play as an instrument by turning the levels up and down. both the static and the pitch bending in the track are created by turning the recording volume up and down.
recorded in may, 1998.
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/07-weedin-the-yard
what i did to create this mess was take the dub out of an old double cassette deck and plug it into it's own in. this created a feedback loop that i was able to play as an instrument by turning the levels up and down. both the static and the pitch bending in the track are created by turning the recording volume up and down.
recorded in may, 1998.
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/07-weedin-the-yard
i feel much better now (original album mix)
at this point, i had the conceptual idea of a record that alternated between "songs" and "sounds". i think this is the first of these sample collages that was constructed specifically to fit between two songs.
recorded in may, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/i-think-i-feel-much-better-now-1998-cd
recorded in may, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/i-think-i-feel-much-better-now-1998-cd
nope (original album mix)
there was a bit of discussion during this period about the possibility of me taking anti-depressants. i didn't like the idea....this was my reaction....
i was given a prescription, but never filled it. the discussion has never really gone away, but i've never accepted anything.
yes, that's mulder & scully.
recorded in april, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/nope-1998-archived-112-kbps-mp3
i was given a prescription, but never filled it. the discussion has never really gone away, but i've never accepted anything.
yes, that's mulder & scully.
recorded in april, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/nope-1998-archived-112-kbps-mp3
why (original album mix)
here's the biting, satirical, misanthropic anarchist jessica that you know and love! finally...
this is the first thing that shows up that's explicitly political in more than a social sense. the lyrics are clear, obvious and mixed very much to the front. here's the story on that: i'm emulating a beat-box situation. i'm a politician, tongue-in-cheek, with a sound system in the back. when i get my headphones fixed, i'll see if i can mess with it a bit, because it's a bit too pronounced, but the general aesthetic is going to stick with it. it's purposeful.
the paper crumpling sound in the middle is meant to represent me spoiling a ballot.
if you listen carefully, the background guitar wanking is awesome.
recorded in april, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/why-original-1999-album-edit
this is the first thing that shows up that's explicitly political in more than a social sense. the lyrics are clear, obvious and mixed very much to the front. here's the story on that: i'm emulating a beat-box situation. i'm a politician, tongue-in-cheek, with a sound system in the back. when i get my headphones fixed, i'll see if i can mess with it a bit, because it's a bit too pronounced, but the general aesthetic is going to stick with it. it's purposeful.
the paper crumpling sound in the middle is meant to represent me spoiling a ballot.
if you listen carefully, the background guitar wanking is awesome.
recorded in april, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/why-original-1999-album-edit
wish (original album mix)
i had earlier recorded a vocal version of this, but i had the good sense to realize it was awful and replaced the vocal parts with synth sections, creating an electronic/ambient piece with a liberal use of noise. it's admittedly a little elevator-music sounding, but i think that's sort of part of it's charm. it's very precious sounding.
this is one of my favourite early pieces. i used to just sit and play the simple guitar outro, with drum loop in my sennheiser 440-IIs, for hours at a time...
the decision to remove the vocals on this track was largely a reflection of my growing confidence in the quality of the music to stand up on it's own. over the '98-'99 period, i was largely aware of how cringeworthy my lyrics were and put them into three overlapping categories: (1) comedy/satire, in which case i let them stand as they were, (2) cries for help, in which case i upheld them as they were hoping somebody would listen, (3) songs that i had no lyrical idea for but that i felt needed lyrics, in which case i felt trapped by the genre conventions and upheld ideas that i truly didn't even like at the time simply so the songs would have vocals. over time, i eventually got to the point where i had enough confidence in the music that i no longer felt that the songs required lyrics, and i started to look at it as something to use sparingly based on whether i actually had an idea to express. while there are definitely songs in this period that i wish i had kept instrumental versions of, the final mixes only include a couple with lyrics that i actively regret. this is the first time i was able to mentally push back against myself and say "no. this song does not need lyrics.".
recorded in april, 1998. edited on nov 14, 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/outro
this is one of my favourite early pieces. i used to just sit and play the simple guitar outro, with drum loop in my sennheiser 440-IIs, for hours at a time...
the decision to remove the vocals on this track was largely a reflection of my growing confidence in the quality of the music to stand up on it's own. over the '98-'99 period, i was largely aware of how cringeworthy my lyrics were and put them into three overlapping categories: (1) comedy/satire, in which case i let them stand as they were, (2) cries for help, in which case i upheld them as they were hoping somebody would listen, (3) songs that i had no lyrical idea for but that i felt needed lyrics, in which case i felt trapped by the genre conventions and upheld ideas that i truly didn't even like at the time simply so the songs would have vocals. over time, i eventually got to the point where i had enough confidence in the music that i no longer felt that the songs required lyrics, and i started to look at it as something to use sparingly based on whether i actually had an idea to express. while there are definitely songs in this period that i wish i had kept instrumental versions of, the final mixes only include a couple with lyrics that i actively regret. this is the first time i was able to mentally push back against myself and say "no. this song does not need lyrics.".
recorded in april, 1998. edited on nov 14, 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/outro
think (original album mix)
this is a nice update of the original in all aspects, with slightly modified lyrics.
recorded in mar, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/i-think-i-feel-much-better-now-1998-cd
recorded in mar, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/i-think-i-feel-much-better-now-1998-cd
hurricane (original discarded outtake)
wind sounds. really, i was experimenting with synthesizing using two different methods: my jx-8p and cool edit as a synthesizer slash effects processor, just to see if i could.
recorded in mar, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/hurricane
recorded in mar, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/hurricane
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
i did your mom (original album mix)
this is the final version of something i'd been playing with since about '94 or so, and by this time the track had become something that was beyond absurd. in a way, this is the culmination of everything i did in this period. it's the central track of my inri years: it's both the first thing i spent any time seriously writing and the ultimate realization of the musical ideas i was exploring. it's the longest track on the first demo. the drum programming is deep, there's an orchestration through sequencing, synth parts in the background, lead guitar work coming to the forefront - it's everything thrown together at a coherent level, really for the first time.
thematically, i'm just going to let it stand as is, other than to point towards the existing writeup at the demo site:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/i-did-your-mom-2
that this is the central track of this period maybe demonstrates how ridiculous i was and how ridiculous my musical vision was. maybe it also demonstrates just how young i was.
the remaining tracks in this period sort of pivot after this.
i should be clear: this is pretty much the most terrible song that you could possibly imagine existing, and that was kind of the intent. the shock value is entirely up front. but at the same time, it's just so terrible that it's kind of funny, and that was entirely intended as well.
you could maybe say something about somebody like alice cooper. ripping live chicken heads off in the middle of a performance is just about the most tyrannical thing you could imagine somebody getting away with on stage. it's just *so* ridiculous, that you can't help but laugh - even as you're horrified.
it's a phase a lot of teenagers go through. i guess the difference between me and a hundred thousand other kids is that i was exploring it through composition.
recorded in mar, 1998. edited on nov 13, 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/i-did-your-mom-1998-archived-112-kbps-mp3-2
thematically, i'm just going to let it stand as is, other than to point towards the existing writeup at the demo site:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/i-did-your-mom-2
that this is the central track of this period maybe demonstrates how ridiculous i was and how ridiculous my musical vision was. maybe it also demonstrates just how young i was.
the remaining tracks in this period sort of pivot after this.
i should be clear: this is pretty much the most terrible song that you could possibly imagine existing, and that was kind of the intent. the shock value is entirely up front. but at the same time, it's just so terrible that it's kind of funny, and that was entirely intended as well.
you could maybe say something about somebody like alice cooper. ripping live chicken heads off in the middle of a performance is just about the most tyrannical thing you could imagine somebody getting away with on stage. it's just *so* ridiculous, that you can't help but laugh - even as you're horrified.
it's a phase a lot of teenagers go through. i guess the difference between me and a hundred thousand other kids is that i was exploring it through composition.
recorded in mar, 1998. edited on nov 13, 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/i-did-your-mom-1998-archived-112-kbps-mp3-2
mwp (original album mix)
i don't really remember exactly what i was thinking with this. i think it was a sort of a reaction to "western conservatism" as it may have come out in something like the reform party of canada, which is really a midwestern idea (these ideas aren't popular on the pacific coast). i seem to have been interpreting those ideas through some less than ideal stereotypes.
a trent reznor sample near the end of the track has been ejected.
i think i was also reacting against the initial lyrics of the song, which were a naive exploration of terrorism from a first-person perspective. as mentioned in the initial write-up, terrorism in the late 90s generally had more of a christian fundamentalist bent as interpreted through the like of the ira, the atlanta bomber or timothy mcveigh. i was sort of inverting that to a discussion of more mainstream midwestern christian fundamentalism.
ultimately, though, i'm not sure i'm making a lot of sense, in hindsight. if it made sense at the time, the logic has sort of lost itself on me.
musically, i like this track, a lot, though, and i've often wished i would have just left it instrumental. the drum programming is really thick, and the overlapping guitar parts are something that's always interested me.
meandering initial version here:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/terrorists
recorded in mar, 1998. edited on nov 13, 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-terrorist-original-1998-cd-mix
a trent reznor sample near the end of the track has been ejected.
i think i was also reacting against the initial lyrics of the song, which were a naive exploration of terrorism from a first-person perspective. as mentioned in the initial write-up, terrorism in the late 90s generally had more of a christian fundamentalist bent as interpreted through the like of the ira, the atlanta bomber or timothy mcveigh. i was sort of inverting that to a discussion of more mainstream midwestern christian fundamentalism.
ultimately, though, i'm not sure i'm making a lot of sense, in hindsight. if it made sense at the time, the logic has sort of lost itself on me.
musically, i like this track, a lot, though, and i've often wished i would have just left it instrumental. the drum programming is really thick, and the overlapping guitar parts are something that's always interested me.
meandering initial version here:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/terrorists
recorded in mar, 1998. edited on nov 13, 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-terrorist-original-1998-cd-mix
relax (original album mix)
another sample collage, made out of krusty the clown samples.
recorded in mar, 1998.
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/09-relax
recorded in mar, 1998.
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/09-relax
schizoid (original album mix)
again: big upgrade in sound, big downgrade in vocals. well, i guess the vocals work on a different level, but comparing them back-to-back what i'd like to have are the demo vocals with the rerecording's music...
this is the first serious example of any kind of keyboard sequencing that's more than just background sound. there's seriously a crude string section in this track
original version:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-2
recorded in feb, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-terrorist-original-1998-cd-mix
this is the first serious example of any kind of keyboard sequencing that's more than just background sound. there's seriously a crude string section in this track
original version:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-2
recorded in feb, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-terrorist-original-1998-cd-mix
hey god (original album mix)
upgrade in drum programming and in guitar work, downgrade in emotion.
i'm noticing this going through these. on the one hand, i think i was sort of afraid to be too emotional. i wanted to keep that "ironic distance". but, i don't think i would have felt that if the material was fresher. these songs are two, three years old at this point. i'd reinterpreted them a dozen different ways. i'd lost connection to them...
in the sense that the drum sections were partially created for the purposes of performing these songs live (which never happened), and they completely recreated most of the pieces, i think it was necessary. but i'm realizing that it very much sounds like i was performing a chore. perhaps i was....
original version:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/hey-god
recorded in feb, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/hey-god-1998-archived-112-kbps-mp3
i'm noticing this going through these. on the one hand, i think i was sort of afraid to be too emotional. i wanted to keep that "ironic distance". but, i don't think i would have felt that if the material was fresher. these songs are two, three years old at this point. i'd reinterpreted them a dozen different ways. i'd lost connection to them...
in the sense that the drum sections were partially created for the purposes of performing these songs live (which never happened), and they completely recreated most of the pieces, i think it was necessary. but i'm realizing that it very much sounds like i was performing a chore. perhaps i was....
original version:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/hey-god
recorded in feb, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/hey-god-1998-archived-112-kbps-mp3
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
a sickening obsession (original album mix)
this is another rerecorded track. the rerecording is in a different context; i was actually merely looking for a way to open the cd, and that's all this track really functions as. that being said, there's definitely a lot more added to the initial track.
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/bipolarity
recorded in feb, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/intro
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/bipolarity
recorded in feb, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/intro
swim (original album mix)
this is another sample based piece. it's about the consequences of climate change and was heavily influenced by the title track of tool's second lp.
recorded in feb, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/global-warming
recorded in feb, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/global-warming
confused (original album mix)
another redone track. the drum programming here was pretty in depth. otherwise, everything i have to say about this is over here:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/confusion-2
recorded in feb, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/confused-1998-archive-2
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/confusion-2
recorded in feb, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/confused-1998-archive-2
Monday, November 11, 2013
the kid upstairs is going to go through the floor.
she's autistic. which seems to mean she doesn't have a clear understanding of herself in a spatial context. she's also a little overweight. but, the issue (regardless of weight) is not understanding how to walk without stomping.
she's not just creaking the floor. she's breaking wood planks. you can hear them snap as she stomps around. and i mean STOMP around.
see, as annoying as it's going to be for me to deal with a hole in the ceiling, i'm kind of more concerned that she's going to hurt herself and i don't really know how to bring that up. i'm going to guess that actually reversing the stomping is going to require some careful and patient coaching, that it's going to be frustrating for everybody and that it might actually be impossible to change habitually, in the long term.
i wouldn't even be thinking about this if it were just the sound. i'd just be 'whatever. let the kid stomp.'. but, it really is predictable that she's going to stomp right through a wood plank at some point. so, i kind of feel obligated to point it out.
it's just....how do you do this....
i'm not concerned about offense. no, really, i'm not. i don't care about that. it's more that if i'm going to bother taking the time to offend them, i want to make sure that they actually listen rather than just get offended and then not do anything. see, and i know that humans aren't particularly intelligent creatures - i know that they tend to irrationally react to certain things on an emotional level, ignore anything approaching a rigourous analysis and then consciously decide to *not* follow through with a logical reaction, apparently purely out of spite for reason.
i have to say something to somebody. suggestions?
mom
Bring it to the attention of your landlord...
jessica amber murray
yeah, see, the landlord is the tenant's brother, and the stomper's uncle. the brother seems to be a little challenged as well, but not as much.
it might be the best option, i agree. but i'm no closer to a tactic.
"your niece is going to stomp through the floor" is blunt. i like blunt. but i don't want to piss him off too badly, unless i'm sure he's going to listen (at which point, the piss off will necessarily be temporary - logic will prevail).
i should also point out that he owns this place, specifically, so that his mentally challenged brother and niece have an affordable place to stay. so, if i bring it up, it has to be with the sole intent of therapy.
mom
Just explain to him the way you explained it on here....
jessica amber murray
i think what i need is less an angle and more the right context. just bringing it up at the right time kind of thing.
she's autistic. which seems to mean she doesn't have a clear understanding of herself in a spatial context. she's also a little overweight. but, the issue (regardless of weight) is not understanding how to walk without stomping.
she's not just creaking the floor. she's breaking wood planks. you can hear them snap as she stomps around. and i mean STOMP around.
see, as annoying as it's going to be for me to deal with a hole in the ceiling, i'm kind of more concerned that she's going to hurt herself and i don't really know how to bring that up. i'm going to guess that actually reversing the stomping is going to require some careful and patient coaching, that it's going to be frustrating for everybody and that it might actually be impossible to change habitually, in the long term.
i wouldn't even be thinking about this if it were just the sound. i'd just be 'whatever. let the kid stomp.'. but, it really is predictable that she's going to stomp right through a wood plank at some point. so, i kind of feel obligated to point it out.
it's just....how do you do this....
i'm not concerned about offense. no, really, i'm not. i don't care about that. it's more that if i'm going to bother taking the time to offend them, i want to make sure that they actually listen rather than just get offended and then not do anything. see, and i know that humans aren't particularly intelligent creatures - i know that they tend to irrationally react to certain things on an emotional level, ignore anything approaching a rigourous analysis and then consciously decide to *not* follow through with a logical reaction, apparently purely out of spite for reason.
i have to say something to somebody. suggestions?
mom
Bring it to the attention of your landlord...
jessica amber murray
yeah, see, the landlord is the tenant's brother, and the stomper's uncle. the brother seems to be a little challenged as well, but not as much.
it might be the best option, i agree. but i'm no closer to a tactic.
"your niece is going to stomp through the floor" is blunt. i like blunt. but i don't want to piss him off too badly, unless i'm sure he's going to listen (at which point, the piss off will necessarily be temporary - logic will prevail).
i should also point out that he owns this place, specifically, so that his mentally challenged brother and niece have an affordable place to stay. so, if i bring it up, it has to be with the sole intent of therapy.
mom
Just explain to him the way you explained it on here....
jessica amber murray
i think what i need is less an angle and more the right context. just bringing it up at the right time kind of thing.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
useless (valium mix)
this is the original version slowed down to half speed, which i actually briefly considered releasing as the final version as i felt it was aesthetically appropriate.
recorded in jan, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/useless-valium
recorded in jan, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/useless-valium
not that there’s anything wrong with that (original album mix)
this is that faux-homophobe song again, and i'm going to call myself out for it this time on two levels. i'm kind of uncomfortable uploading it not once but twice, but i promised myself i'd upload everything, so here it is.
i've been uncomfortable with this since i wrote it, basically. i really hesitated for a while in releasing this. it was one of the first things i recorded with my new 4-track (the timestamp is jan 17, 1998), but it didn't make it to the first demo. it only made it to the second demo in feb, 1999. with a lot of caution. i ended up releasing it because i liked the fact that it sounded like ministry.
in my defense, i should point out that these kinds of songs exist in the punk rock tradition going back to the glam days. ministry wrote a number of songs like this, ridiculing exaggerated masculinity. this is what i was going for the second time around. further, in the sense that the song is about me being picked on, i feel i sort of retain the right to express myself about it.
where it falls into trouble is it's level of ambiguity. it's meant to be satire, but how is anybody supposed to know that? the answer is the seinfeld line - and this was consciously inserted for that very reason. yet, the signal that sends isn't "this song is sarcastic" so much as it is "homophobes aren't the brightest people". that's really what the song is about - i was getting picked on by people i didn't think were very smart, and i was reacting by ridiculing their intelligence through merely repeating what they were saying. this is meant to shock, and that's where the track gets it's "edge".
we would refer to such a thing nowadays as "hipster homophobia", and this is where i'm calling myself out, here. my argument is essentially "it's ok to be hateful if you're being ironic". but, that's not an argument i would currently make - it's an argument that i'd argue rather strenuously against.
again: i feel i had the right to express myself here, and the song is anti-oppressive in it's intent. yet, i didn't articulate that well, and sort of fell into a trap. i can convincingly argue that i was a teenager and didn't really know any better, but that argument necessitates that i correct myself.
the original version and write-up are over here:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/not-that-theres-anything-wrong-with-that
recorded in jan, 1998.
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/06-not-that-theres-anything-wrong-with-that
i've been uncomfortable with this since i wrote it, basically. i really hesitated for a while in releasing this. it was one of the first things i recorded with my new 4-track (the timestamp is jan 17, 1998), but it didn't make it to the first demo. it only made it to the second demo in feb, 1999. with a lot of caution. i ended up releasing it because i liked the fact that it sounded like ministry.
in my defense, i should point out that these kinds of songs exist in the punk rock tradition going back to the glam days. ministry wrote a number of songs like this, ridiculing exaggerated masculinity. this is what i was going for the second time around. further, in the sense that the song is about me being picked on, i feel i sort of retain the right to express myself about it.
where it falls into trouble is it's level of ambiguity. it's meant to be satire, but how is anybody supposed to know that? the answer is the seinfeld line - and this was consciously inserted for that very reason. yet, the signal that sends isn't "this song is sarcastic" so much as it is "homophobes aren't the brightest people". that's really what the song is about - i was getting picked on by people i didn't think were very smart, and i was reacting by ridiculing their intelligence through merely repeating what they were saying. this is meant to shock, and that's where the track gets it's "edge".
we would refer to such a thing nowadays as "hipster homophobia", and this is where i'm calling myself out, here. my argument is essentially "it's ok to be hateful if you're being ironic". but, that's not an argument i would currently make - it's an argument that i'd argue rather strenuously against.
again: i feel i had the right to express myself here, and the song is anti-oppressive in it's intent. yet, i didn't articulate that well, and sort of fell into a trap. i can convincingly argue that i was a teenager and didn't really know any better, but that argument necessitates that i correct myself.
the original version and write-up are over here:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/not-that-theres-anything-wrong-with-that
recorded in jan, 1998.
http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/06-not-that-theres-anything-wrong-with-that
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