see, this was completely stable, and i really didn't change anything, so i don't know...

ok, so this is better, now, but i won't know how stable it is for a while.

this is what i did after the script was finished:

- increased pagefile size

- set number of processors to 2

- uninstalled and reinstalled alesis drivers and maudio drivers

- uninstalled three step cubase install and reinstalled with 2 step (just the copy protection device and the update file, not the base sx 3)

- took everything out of the vst plugin folder

- reinstalled the update on top of itself a second time

it's launching without instantly crashing, and that's good enough for now.

so, back to the update post, then.

well, i gotta finish cleaning, first. then the update post....after i sleep, probably. i didn't think this would take all night...

ok, so now cubase is crashing instead of the pc.

that's major progress, actually - and demonstrates the point, a little.

that was enough to get me through the script, anyways.

i may have to revisit this afterwards, but let's just finish the update post, first.

so, let me take note of this - i want to revisit the deletion part of the script. while i seem to be stuck with some kind of process running in the background that i can't turn off (something i've noticed on my other machines, as well), i am not technically connected to the internet with this machine anymore (the nic is disabled in the bios) and don't need the kind of scripting i was running previously to avoid spyware intrusions. so, i can turn off most of the script as a troubleshooting step and turn it back on, incrementally, as i stabilize the system.

ok, no, it just did the same thing it was doing. ugh.

let me try it with the mixer running and see if it helps.

(these notes will be useful to me in the future)

ok, so i was able to get the program to launch.

i was installing the copy protection software, then cubase sx 3 and then an update to it. this time, i skipped the cubase sx 3 install and just installed the update. it seems to have produced a stable install, but the asio driver won't load.

so, i'm reinstalling the alesis asio drivers and....

no.

let me try with the m-audio asio drivers..

yes. hrmmn.

so, let me try the alesis again...

yes. 

weird.

ok. 

one more reboot, then.

we'll have to test it when i finish the update post, i just wanted to get through the script. if that stabilizes, then maybe i need to alter the cubase install process.

there's been two repeated scenarios where the machine freezes:

1) the cubase issue, which looks like ram on first glance, but i think probably isn't. i mean, either all the ram is bad or none of it is. and it's probably not that all of it is.

2) when i search on one of the larger drives, which i think is an xp issue. again - that looks like ram, but i can't figure it which stick is bad, if it is.

it sounds crazy, but i'm guessing it's probably more along the lines of that i'm freezing the logger when i use too many resources. essentially, i'm crashing the software they're using to spy on me, which seems to be running at the firmware level.

yes, that's insane. but, it's what seems to be true. it is insane, but they're crazy, not me...

i mean, it seems like some piece of hardware is malfunctioning, on first approach.

but, it's not obvious what it is and the more i tease it apart the less likely it seems that that's the case. 

i really think that somebody thinks i'm doing something with this machine that i shouldn't be doing, and it seems like all i can do is wait until they give up, as they're operating on a level that i can only gleam.

it's a recording machine. that is all.

i wish i understood the underlying problem.

but, i set this machine up so that i wouldn't waste time troubleshooting - it's designed to instantly reformat on any kind of problem. and, i'm not going to waste large amounts of time troubleshooting, i'll reformat until it works.

i wonder if the reason it's doing this is because i changed driver signing in the middle of the script.

regardless, i think this is my last try before i format.

ok, i got an error message this time, that's some progress.

....so, i'd might as well try to approach it from a vantage point, and try to get it right, rather than just rush it out to meet demand. there isn't a demand.

some of my favourite pieces took 30 years to write and underwent multiple revisions; this used to be a normal part of the composition process, before music was reduced to a commodity. i know it sounds bizarre to have no interest in being relevant, but that's what music has usually been about - realize the historical weirdness of the current neo-liberal paradigm in art. this isn't how it has ever been before, and it's not how it will be in the future. i'm just stuck in it. unfortunately.

so, yeah - it's going to take me 10-20 years to complete each of these pieces, and i wish other contemporary artists would see their work in this kind of historical context, rather than being obsessed with being a part of the fall's fashion trends.

we're in a bottoming out, in music.

there's no audience.

what's the point?

i'm writing for a post-capitalist future that art exists in, again.

i have no idea why it's not working correctly.

but, i'm going to try to install from a different drive.

yeah, that didn't launch.

let me try one more time before i format/reinstall.

again, the projects i want to be working on right now are the period 3.1 pieces from late 2003 and early 2004 listed at the top of this page:

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/

period 3.2 won't click in until late 2004, but the matlab project won't start until after that, even.

i'm not interested in writing new music until i've completed the old pieces, but my music is not intended to be contemporary, or to comment on current topics. 

when i finish the discography up until 2011, i will need to complete loose ends over the last 10-15 years (or whatever it ends up being) before i look at ideas relevant to then-contemporary concepts.

there is no possibility that i'm going to drop anything and start over, either. and, if this process never completes, so be it.

i don't want to move to the 64 bit system until i start the matlab project.

in fact, i'm intending on doing a lot of period 3.1 on the windows 98 pc, to get a continuity of sound that wasn't desired for the period 1 and 2 stuff.

yes, i'm about to switch over, i just need to finish that update post. i've got a bunch of new relevant gear, and i'm almost ready to restart, i just need to reorder my thoughts. and this constant needless troubleshooting isn't helping.

so, it seems to be the cubase install program that's forcing a reboot in a place i don't remember.

it seems like something is crashing, but i think it's actually hardcoded.

i don't remember it doing that before. but, let's see what happens.

hrmmn.

spoke too soon.

my bios reacted very differently when i cleared it this time than it did previously. it normally defaults to 2000 on the date clear, but it defaulted to 2099 this time. i don't know why.

it's been a while since i flashed it, because it's dangerous. i once had to reprogram the thing using a bus pirate after the flash borked...

i've long suspected that the actual problem with this machine is that somebody (cia. csis. i dunno.) installed a bios virus on it when i wasn't here which included some kind of backdoor to a wireless device locked into the chip and i haven't been able to shake it off. so, what's happening is that the computer is getting shut off remotely and i don't have a way out because i can't get into the board.

so, i'm wondering if this change means that somebody messed with it when i was gone...

i don't know if it's good or bad, but the script completed so let's take it from there.

i'm still working on that catch up post. i've got the idea in place, but i'm going to finish it.

i'll have to get back to the alter-reality this week, and i'd expect a flurry of posts when i do - it's going to be one text per week (in the alter-reality), so if i end up doing 20 texts, it'll take four weeks.

i expect to be bed ridden for at least a week, and if it means i really catch up on it then great.

ok.

so, the august cleaning is done (slowed down by the fridge, but done), everything's pretty much organized and i'm sitting down with a cup of coffee to do some work for the first time in a while.

i stopped some time in early july and started focusing on finding cheap gear for the period 3 rebuild. i do remember clearly that i was doing an alter-reality rebuild on the blogger timeline and entered the ms-2 as an entry. that got me wondering about other miniamps, and it went off from there.

and, i think the thing i was doing was filing the pc, and i even think i was almost done.

but, i'm going to do a quick throwback to earlier in the year and just read through the blog and go from there. i'll take notes. and, i should be back into the schedule i devised very soon.

obviously, because i'm going toronto for surgery this week, i won't start back up again on monday. but, i think i can plan to start back up again for next monday.

the surgery is going to make it difficult to walk for a few weeks, but i don't expect to be on any sort of serious painkillers (i expect they may give me something like t3s, and i expect i probably won't take them....i don't do much heavier than aspirin for pain meds....and i rarely take aspirin, even if i'm in pan...) and it's not clear how much that's going to mess with me.

it may be a chance to catch up on the asimov for the alter-reality.