this is a review of the bummer/buildings show at ufo on feb 24, 2020.

what do you do when you plan around going to two concerts within a few days, under the expectation that the weather won't be so bad for either, and then come up against the fact that the weather is actually going to be absolutely awful for the second, at the last minute?

you made sacrifices for the first show, so you don't want to cut your losses if you can avoid it. maybe you skipped a beer. maybe you came home an hour early. whatever it was, you want to tough it out, if you can, so that the sacrifices you made were not in vain.

i woke up on this day to a blizzard warning, which is not much of a challenge for an ottawan, with the important caveat that finding a way home at the end of the night was truly essential, and the border was consequently somewhat of an unwanted and annoying barrier. canadians don't fear the cold, but we do respect it; we know when to push it, but we also are very conscious of when not to, because we've all been in those situations, where we're teetering on the brink of hypothermia; unless, of course, that we were foolish enough to die of exposure, in which case we don't have to worry about making that mistake again. the benefit of hindsight is 20/20, right? glib humour aside, i would not have wanted to wander too far from the tunnel on this night and risk being found in a snow bank and, thankfully, i didn't need to - the venue is walking distance from the tunnel, something i wish i could take advantage of more often, nowadays. detroit isn't detroit anymore, everything has been exported to the suburbs....

that said, i realized pretty quickly that the weather was about as brutal as i could tolerate in the attire i left the house in. it's not like i was really a big fan of either of these acts, i really just wanted to get out of the house for a few beers and a loud, boneheaded rock show in what i thought would be acceptable weather after being couped up since december, but the wisdom of the excursion was admittedly somewhat questionable; in hindsight, though, given that the rest of 2020 is more or less cancelled, i'm actually glad that i managed to get out. it could be a while before i get another chance.....if i even survive the boredom...

it's not that the temperature, itself, was even that bad; in truth, it actually really wasn't. the issue on this night was more about the wind, and the brutality of walking through it. standing in one spot for a while actually really wasn't that bad. it was moving through the -20 windchills and the blowing, blinding snow....

there were no pancake breakfasts on this night, though, once i succeeded in trudging my way through the snow to the venue.

i was expecting a late show, so i didn't miss anything by showing up late, thankfully.

the first band was from kansas (why is kansas in missouri, anyways?), and i'm more or less just going to post the video. while they have a more melodic component to them, they fundamentally exist in the same space as a goofy, boneheaded band like the melvins, meaning i can only really truly enjoy this from a bit of a distance, but sometimes that's good enough for the night. sometimes that's all you want, and all you need to enjoy a few hours of escape....

the second act was called buildings, and are a little more elaborate, a little more developed in their sound, and a little less boneheaded, over all. i had not heard of this act before, but, looking into it, learned that they're on their fourth record, after some lengthy down periods. they're still fundamentally a northwestern punk band, but, and i suppose this was always true of the best northwestern punk bands, they're pulling in influences from a collection of related genres - shoegaze, no wave, noise rock and a little bit of psychedelic rock, or doom metal, as well. i wouldn't quite say it sounds contemporary, but it could be mistaken for it, if that makes sense.

as mentioned, i was kind of keen to get out of the house; this was my third trip out this year, but my first at a show like this, which is also in a genre that is demonstrating increasing scarcity amidst an aging core audience. i'm not giving up on new music any time soon, especially new electronic music, but you do have to expect me to act my age sometimes, too. this is the kind of music i grew up with....

a local act called teener closed the show, as they frequently do whenever bands of this style come through town. i guess they're just kind of the go-to to fill out the bill, for right now. i've consequently seen them a couple of times. on this night, they played as a three-piece because their singer had strep-throat.

this is marble bar in detroit, which is more often a dance club; i was catching fly pan am in windsor, on this night.

i was out in plenty of time to catch the bus, and eventually got home to canada after what was a somewhat lengthy wait at the bus stop with some very cold kids coming back from an edm party at the magic stick that cost them each $50 to get in. they had just missed the previous bus, and were consequently seriously considering calling a cab, somewhat naive at the cost - i had to talk them out of it, although there was almost enough of them there to justify the $60 fee up-front, if they hadn't already bought tickets.

it actually didn't feel that bad at this point, as the wind had died down. or, so i thought, anyways.

i did try villain's a second time, but i didn't recognize the bartender. somebody outside recognized me, though. i bummed a smoke, but i didn't stay; i was starting to feel the cold, and knew i had to get in. that respect for the cold became a dominant concern, and when that happens it is sudden and it is absolute - you get home, and you don't fuck around...

i need to reiterate that, if you were to check the forecast, you wouldn't be led to believe it was a particularly cold night. further, i had a toque and gloves, in addition to a sweater, with my overcoat. i was actually dressed relatively well. but, the fact that i had at that point been outside for well over an hour in subfreezing high humidity, coupled with the wind, which had picked back up again, was the kind of thing that can shut you down for good, as the icicles start building up on your hair, and the frost begins to claim you as it's own.

as i was walking, i suddenly started to become cognizant of the reality that i was in a dangerous place, temperature wise. my face was experiencing mild frostbite. worse, i found myself fighting a sudden urge to sit down, which is very bad news, in that situation.

i went to an unusual elementary school on an army base that had a very small number of students and found myself in a split 5/6 class, twice - in grade 5 and then again in grade 6, and in fact with the same teacher both years. the instruction was often scattered, anachronistic or outright absent. as such, one thing that i found myself doing was watching a tv series called the voyage of the mimi, and doing what was essentially english-class style reading comprehension in place of actual science instruction.

in hindsight, i think some heavy criticism of the curriculum is well-warranted, but it did teach me valuable life lessons about hypothermia; you don't want to experience a sensation of warmth when you know you should be cold, and you don't want to sit down. so, i dragged myself, i pushed myself - i talked out loud, i counted, i did everything i could to make sure that i strenuously avoided any thoughts about stopping.

and, i did get home.

and, i warmed myself up in a warm blanket.

and, i ate some nachos.

and, i took a hot shower.

and, i watched the debates.

and i got some sleep...

this is a review of the man or astroman show at el club on feb 24, 2020.

this is another show that i instantly realized i had to get to, whether the weather was going to cooperate or not, and then almost missed, this time due to the need to sleep a little bit before the show.

i can't claim it was much of an exciting night outside of the show, though; there were no adventures to report, no conversations of particular interest. my attention was largely focused on trying to get to the venue before the rain started (which i failed at.), and then in getting myself home in the rain after the show. it was an early night, and i arrived late, missing both opening acts.

they did play some newer material, and i noted in a previous post that it's leaning towards a riffier, dirtier, almost grungier kind of sound that is maybe a little less campy and more evocative of the rougher edges of the american southwest. they also brought out a dot matrix printer and performed a reinterpreted piece from eeviac to give the guitarist time to change a string; it reminded me a little of autechre's gantz graf, but i doubt that meant much to the crowd. they were, overall, though, exactly what would be expected, and i think that's what most people wanted.

there was some talk about the venue in the smoking section, and i'm going to repost my initial analysis to that question. it's not that i'm unsympathetic to the concern, it's that i'm not sure how substantive it actually is.

i haven't turned the laptop back on yet. i've been dreading it. it should come up out of hibernation, but if it doesn't then i'll have to reimage.

let's hope that i can get the clean-up finished before i crash for a few hours this morning.

i am planning on hitting the grunge show tonight. the damage last night wasn't that bad, because i was able to use the balance on the debit card, and i just avoided buying beer. so, i didn't spend nearly what i said - it was $23 usd for the ticket, $10 usd at the 7/11 and $10 cdn for the bus. yes, it costs me $5 to cross the border and $5 to get back. and, yes, it adds up. it's still cheaper to live here, though.

essentially, my choice to avoid buying expensive beer at el club last night means i'm good to go for cheap beer at ufo tonight. yeah, i didn't set the fucking prices, don't look at me. if it was reasonable, i would have bought at least one..

i'm waiting until i can order last sunday before i do these february reviews all at once. but, there is still a lot of lingering concern regarding the fiasco at el club, with people worrying about crossing boycott lines. personally? i'm a free thinker, i'm not interested in being told what to do by the central committee on ethical consumption in late capitalism, and they can rule on the issue all they want, i don't give a fuck. but, i have to be honest - i didn't find the arguments i heard to be convincing.

and, you can browbeat me on it if you want, i don't really care. what i want is a convincing argument, not a demand that i follow your moral code, which i may or may not agree with.

but, i'll be equally clear that i wouldn't go to a place that i thought was actually horribly sexist or horribly racist. for a bastion of white supremacism, the bar seems to have a lot of black employees (they always did. it's detroit.) and seems to cater disproportionately to the black community. if there was a problem, they made a legitimate attempt to adjust to it.

that said, i don't go there on random nights, either, for the reason that they've largely exited my sphere of interest; this has largely not been much of an issue for me for the reason that the bar no longer caters to my tastes, anyways. so, i haven't been finding myself in this conflicted space, where i'm trying to figure out if i should go or not because i haven't had any interest in what they're booking, anyways.

the bar has a great sound system. it's not likely that random touring acts have any idea what happened, so i'm not going to tar them by association for something they don't know about, whatever the merits of it. so, if a band i like does play the space, i don't see any logical reason why i wouldn't go.

man or astroman formed in the early 90s and have been one of my favourite acts for a very long time. getting to see them was a kind of a bucket list thing. while the sound system at el club really is great, and the band does legitimately have substantive latin influences, i'll also acknowledge that it would have been a lot easier had they played the magic stick, or perhaps delux fluxx. but, for whatever reason, they didn't and i had to make a choice between missing out on a band i've been listening to for most of my life or an empty statement of solidarity with something that i'm not really convinced of the value of.

that's not a hard choice, for me.

i'm sorry if you find that upsetting, but i think you're wrong.

this is a more accurate representation of the set than the previous video i posted:

i walked right back to the tunnel after the show, took the bus back to canada and tried to stop to talk to somebody at villain's on the way home, but they were closed - as they always are on monday nights.

there were nachos, there was a shower & there was some sleep.

this is a review of the debussy/ravel concert at the dso on feb 16, 2020.

when i saw la mer come up, i knew i'd be prioritizing it fairly heavily, even amidst the cold detroit winter. as it is, this day almost didn't happen - and then turned into somewhat of a catastrophe, in the end.

the dso usually does three performances of each show over the course of a weekend, sometimes starting as early as thursday but usually ending on sunday. i was hoping to make a night out of it by catching the symphony early and hitting something afterwards. initially, it seemed as though the saturday presented the best opportunity, as i would have been able to hit a local act called paint thinner after the set. i've had lukewarm reviews of the disc, but i would still like to see them live to produce a final analysis. unfortunately, paint thinner was replaced at the last minute by something that was much less interesting to me, a local punk band that i think is more or less terrible, and i ended up deciding to take advantage of a turn in the weather to hit the show on a sunny sunday afternoon instead of on a blustery saturday night. you can check out paint thinner's bandcamp site, but i suspect they're probably better live:

https://paint-thinner.com/

unfortunately, this meant i had no after show plans.

did i sleep before i went? well enough - i got a few hours, although i wonder how much i'd slept in the weeks leading up to it. i'd been complaining about strange odours from upstairs for weeks, and i'd been dealing with migraines over the previous few months, as well as complaining about feeling like i'd been drugged against my will. i was clearly dealing with some kind of environmental issue. i can, however, clarify that i was in bed after 3:00 and up around 10:00, a sufficient amount of sleep for most applications.

i made a decision to myself - i'd go to the show if i could finish the liner note package for inri022, which i got done at around 11:00. was that enough time to get to the show for 15:00? i decided i needed to get out of the house and i'd might as well try. i'd need to catch the 14:00 bus....

i was able to get out of the house just before 14:00. barely. could i catch the 14:30 bus and just make it?

moments before i left, i opened a fresh 710 ml bottle of mountain dew (for the caffeine content) and took a couple of shots of vodka, which is my normal predrink on the way out. i hit the bank machine, got some bus tickets, just caught the 14:30 bus and was in detroit around 14:45 - on track to make it worthwhile, but clearly going to miss the first set. so, i got a mike's and a pack of smokes (it's the latter i regret.) at the 7/11 and walked down to the dso to catch the performance of la mer.

i was there about 15:05, got a corona at the bar (hold the virus.) and had to catch the stravinsky set from outside, something that did not bother me much. stravinsky is something that influenced a number of artists that i deeply respect and enjoy, so i don't want to suggest that i don't realize his historical importance, even as i find a lot of the claims about the political significance of his work to be borderline comical. but, i find his work to be ugly, disjointed, obtuse, crass and broadly not very enjoyable to listen to. you're allowed to disagree with me, but i don't find this compelling. at all.

i didn't skip it on purpose, i was just late due to kind of wavering on going at all. but, i don't expect that i would have enjoyed it much. sorry.

the first piece i caught was by ravel, which seemed a little less aimless than normal. this is a lush piece, which makes it more up my alley than the wanton, aimless dissonance of stravinsky. there's a march that kicks in about halfway through that is particularly satisfying when it does. note that "ring around the roses", which is referenced shortly after the march, is actually about the plague. while i've previously criticized it for being a little bit indulgent near the end, it didn't feel that way on this day, for some reason. so, i enjoyed this, even if it wasn't the reason i showed up there on this day.

i went out for a few smokes after that, and ended up grabbing a heineken on the way back.

the first piece after the break was by poulenc, a composer i'm not familiar with, and it just kind of struck me as debussy-light. that's not to say it was awful. really, the thing about this piece is that i'm finding that i don't have much of any reaction to it at all, still. hey, i tried. it happens, sometimes.

i missed the introductory talk so i'm not going to post it here, but it is up at the dso's youtube site and the person they had come out to do it mentioned that poulenc is generally seen as being "lightweight". so, i'm perhaps not falling too far from orthodoxy in my lack of reaction to this piece, actually.

and, then there is la mer, which is one of the most widely analyzed and most important pieces in the history of western civilization, and i will reiterate that i'm not certain i have much to say about this that is important or hasn't been said; i could paraphrase some musicologist, but what's the point? you'd might as well just go to the source.

but, you should probably start by listening to it:

after the show, i had $4.00 left of the $40.00 that i brought with me and most of a pack of cigarettes, which i wanted to get rid of before i made my way home. so, i found myself walking vaguely towards the tunnel, looking for a spot to finish a beer at on my home back to canada. i think i was intending to get something at deluxx fluxx, but they weren't open yet, so i stopped at the skip instead and got a tall hamm's to sip on for a bit, as i worked through that pack of smokes that i wish i hadn't bought. i'm kind of looking around the bar for somewhere to sit...

wow man...you know, i really thought you were a girl, at first.

i decided to sit down and have a chat.

"you know, there's scenarios where gendering somebody isn't appropriate. i don't want to police your speech. but, i'd ask you to think about that in the future. you can see how i identify, clearly. so, was that necessary? what's the point? why do it?"

he seemed to react as though he'd been scolded by his mother, and it wasn't fair, because he really didn't do anything wrong.

bro, listen, i actually really did think you were a girl. seriously.

"you're still gendering me masculinely, even as you acknowledge interpreting me femininely. why?"

(his girlfriend fidgets)

it's what you are, bro.

"listen, like i say, i'm not here to police your language. you're going to say what you're going to say. i can and will react with my feet. i'd just ask you to think about it before you do it, because your oppression here is unnecessary and could be ended with a little bit of self-reflection. if it's not necessary to gender somebody, maybe you should refrain from doing it." 

whatever...bro.

"indeed. whatever..." 

i moved to the other side of the bar and left a few minutes later to catch the bus.

when i got over the border, i found myself with too many cigarettes to want to go home and enough money left for two drinks, so i stopped up the strip in windsor that i stop at and noticed somebody smoking a joint outside villain's. it's 19:20, tops. he passes me his joint, and i got to ranting a little about the symphony, i'm really very chatty in general at this point due to the pot, before i found my way back in and ordered a james ready, which is the cheapest beer available at this bar. 

i have about ten smokes left, and i'm really just passing the time until i get through most of them and am ready to get home. i figure i won't be there late.

i look around the bar, and it's pretty empty. there's the guy that smoked me, on the other side of the physical bar, and two dark skinned males sitting directly in front of me, speaking an african language. so, i found myself sitting quietly, sipping my beer, and i'm wondering - what language is that?

when one of the africans goes away from the bar, i got to chatting up the other one as to what language he's speaking. he vaguely states that it's east african, but i want something more specific than that. it's not semitic, not nilotic, and as i ask him more and more questions, trying to narrow down the area (so, it's a great lakes language?), he becomes more and more impressed with my knowledge of east african geography. i guess he doesn't meet a lot of white people that know that much about east africa, which is when i have to explain to him that i suspect i have african lineage, potentially from madagascar - but that i have a pretty good understanding of the correct geographic spread of the various indigenous african language groups from when i did a human origins project in the early-mid 00s, which had me sorting through all kinds of genetics, linguistics, biology...

he then decides he will buy me a beer, and motions to the bartender, who pauses. am i sure about that?

"well, i'm going to finish the one i've got, first. after."

and, the one i had had about 75% to go, still. she wasn't wrong to pause.

i went in and out for a few cigarettes, and when i did i left my beer on the side, but i'd say it was at least an hour before i asked for a second beer, which was indeed purchased by the person offering to purchase it. at the time, i thought nothing of this.

she asked me a second time if i was sure and i drew attention to how slowly i was drinking; she seemed to agree with my argument and handed me the second beer. if anything, i would have argued that i felt more sober when i bought the second beer than when i bought the first, because i was drinking so slowly....i would have described myself as sobering up, rather than getting more drunk.

i left my drink out several more times as i went out to finish a few more smokes, and found myself talking about such topics as exes having children with friends and how bruce lee died on set...and, then i found myself in the position i expected to eventually be in - done my second beer and without any more smokes. i did, however, have enough cash on me for a third drink and decided i'd might as well get another one before i left, although i was considering maybe seeing what was happening at phog, as i realized there may be a band there. i legitimately did not feel drunk at all at this point.

so, i went outside to see if i could bum a smoke before i ordered a third beer, and there's some kids smoking a joint around the corner. i pulled out my canned line for such situations -

"you know, i was going to ask to bum a smoke, but...."

....and, i was then handed a cigarette and the joint. i guess i'm cute or something, i don't know. trans privilege? it came with a warning though - it was strong.

and we got to talking, and they kept passing it to me. and, then they didn't want any more. so, i smoked a lot of this joint, of which i was warned was quite strong.

when i came back in after that second joint, i was no doubt quite visibly stoned, and i consequently didn't react negatively when i was denied access to a third drink. i decided instantly in my mind that, yes, i could wait to come down a little off the pot, or maybe i'd just leave and go home. so, we agreed i'd come back in a bit, although i was pretty much planning on leaving. what's next, then?

i intended to go to an empty spot of the bar and sit down and think it through, but looked up before i got there and noticed there was somebody setting up near the stage. was there somebody playing there? so i walked toward the stage and asked her if there was a band playing.

"karaoke".

of course. and, i believe that would put the time close to 22:00.

i then sat down in that empty spot for a second to think it through. did i want to stay there for a few minutes? get some change from the machine to bum smokes? buy smokes? how much cash did i have in the bank? should i go to phog?

i'm told that the next thing that happened is that i fell off the stool, but i don't remember that happening. what i remember is sitting in a different seat not far from where i sat down temporarily, and being unable to move while a woman that i don't recognize (she wasn't the bartender) hovered over me, forcing me to drink orange juice, and telling me that i look lovely - i remember her making that trip several times, and essentially being unable to do anything. i'm not sure if the orange juice helped or hindered; i know that i could not move. at all. if you had helped me up, i would have fallen down. i also distinctly recall not responding to questions, although i'm not sure if i'd have been able to or not.

eventually the woman that i don't recognize came back one last time (this was maybe the fifth time) and told me that she was going to call the police because she was worried that i was going to get raped. i remember her telling me that, and under normal circumstances that would have cleared me out pretty quickly, but i couldn't move. i had to sit there and wait.

whether it was due to the imminent threat the police posed when they arrived or due to the effects of whatever had knocked me out easing up, i was able to get up when the cops got there, but they wouldn't let me walk home. i argued the point as strongly as i could, to what was really no avail. i had no cash for a cab, i insisted (technically false). i had nobody to call (that was true, at least). i insisted i'd be fine if i just walked, and i even tried to run off, but they were having none of it. one of the bartenders had to drive me home, instead, and they got me close enough that it was a short walk back.

she couldn't believe i was 39 years old.

"you don't look it."

but, i am...

when i got inside, i was so exhausted that i couldn't even make it to bed, at first; i passed out at the bottom of the stairs for hours, before eventually crawling into bed. so, i don't know what time i got into the car at and i don't know what time i got home at, either. i wasn't able to check the time until about 7:00 am - meaning that, excluding the time it took to get me out of the bar and home, i was passed out nearly cold for roughly nine hours.

so, what happened? did i pass out from the alcohol?

well, this is what i had to drink:

- two shots of vodka in my montain dew, 1:45-2:35.

- one tall mike's hard, 2:45-3:20

- one corona, 3:20-4:00

- one heineken, 4:00-5:00

- one tall hamm's, 6:00-7:00

- two james ready, 7:30-10-ish

on an average day, this would barely be enough to get me drunk. further, let's note the type of alcohol that i was drinking - beer since after 15:00.

i suppose it's not impossible that it was the alcohol, but i'd suggest that that doesn't add up - i'm not likely to pass out for nine hours after drinking a few beers on a sunday afternoon.

is it possible that it was the marijuana, rather than the alcohol?

those that have been following this blog, or have met me in detroit, are well aware of the fact that i can sometimes experience something akin to a panic attack as a result of marijuana. after smoking pot, i have had a handful of seizure-like events that have resulted in me needing to sit down for a few minutes, or even in me temporarily losing consciousness. i suspect that i'm experiencing sudden drops in blood pressure, but i don't actually understand this - i just know it happens.

these events, however, are brief - minutes or seconds long. further, i'm good to go for the rest of the night, afterwards. they don't leave me unable to move for extended periods of time like i was on this night.

as i have a history of panic attack type green-outs, and i had just smoked a lot of marijuana before i passed out, i initially put the pieces together. it must have been the pot, obviously; i've been through this before, i was fine. i consequently got rather frustrated by the turn of events, because i know i green out, and i know i'm fine after. upon some reflection, however, that actually doesn't add up very well, either - i wasn't immediately aware of how zonked out i actually was, but piecing it together as best i can indicates the low likelihood of marijuana being the culprit.

i've held off on writing this review because i wanted to get more information about time frames in order to be absolutely certain, and i haven't been able to receive any of it quite yet. i'm going ahead with this now because this bar is....depending on how long the covid-19 fiasco goes on for, this is a bar that may not reopen at all. i may never get the answer i want.

however, i've thought it through carefully enough to rule out both alcohol and marijuana due to just how passed out i really was - nine hours! no green out is nine hours, and i'd need to be chugging a 40 of vodka to get that kind of reaction from alcohol.

regardless - how long was i out for? what time did the police show up at? what time did i get in the car at? when did i get home? these are the questions i need some help in understanding the answers to.

you have to understand that i was rather confused, and i wasn't really paying attention, but i do suspect that the bar was closed when the police showed up. i don't remember there being people around. i don't remember karoake being on. this would indicate the police probably arrived around or after 2:00 - and that, if i passed out around 22:00, that i was unable to move for around four hours.

having ruled out alcohol and marijuana, what would do that to a person?

(1) what exactly did i smoke? i was told it was "strong marijuana". i have no idea. i know i smoked a fair bit of it.
(2) you'll recall that somebody bought me a drink, and i left that drink out a few times, perhaps foolishly. the woman that was hovering over me told me she thought i was going to get raped - is that because she had concluded i'd been drugged?
(3) i have no history of diabetes, but that doesn't necessarily mean much. i get tested yearly. i'll be tested next in the first week of may.
(4) could i have had a stroke or heart attack? i have very low blood pressure. but, i'd just smoked a pack of cigarettes quite quickly, after having barely smoked at all for two months. some kind of attack due to low blood pressure is more likely than one due to high blood pressure, but something cardio-vascular related is not impossible.

i was able to get some nachos in the morning with the five dollar bill that never made it's way to a third drink.