this was
my grade 12 final project in electronic music design. the assignment was
something along the lines of creating a piece of music with a social
message.
the message is part dystopian, but focuses more on the idea of
identifying certain threats that would become a problem in the upcoming
century. remember that this was the middle of 1999. how close was i?
1) intro
2) war
3) noise pollution, or pollution in general
4) conformity (or the collapse of individualism)*
5) chemical warfare
6) global warming
7) outro
* i was thinking in terms of personality/uniqueness, rather than
something political. and i think the extreme conformity underlying gen y
social attitudes have played this out frighteningly well, actually.
it's a reaction to the radical mindset of anti-conformity that dominated
gen x, but it's still a very real thing that will have very real
ramifications in the upcoming decades. if you thought the 50s were creepy, wait until you see what these kids grow up into!
i should have included something about inequality. i also removed a
vegan track, partly due to time restraints. besides that, i think i got
all of the broad ideas right.
the piece is made to be played in an indefinitely repeated loop.
most of the tracks are slightly remixed/resequenced versions of tracks
from inri or inriched. track 5 is brand new, and recorded on the
school's synthesizer (part of the project requirements).
recorded over 1997-1999. constructed in this form in june, 1999.
published on november 30, 2013. re-released (with new hidden track) and
finalized as symph003 on sept 13, 2017. first liner note release added
on dec 26, 2019. this is my third symphony; as always, please use
headphones.
this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also
eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all
phases of production (1999, 2013-2019). as of dec 26, 2019, the release
includes a 15 page booklet in doc, pdf & html, with an html5 audio
frontend, that includes journal entries from the remastering process
over nov, 2013.
credits
released June 20, 1999
j - synthesizers, sequencers, effects, guitar, bass,
piano, drum programming, noise generators, metronome, a broken tape
deck, sampling, loops, cool edit synthesis, windows 95 sound recorder,
sound design, digital wave editing, production
i can't
date this exactly. i know it was the first half of the second semester
of grade 12, which was spring of 1999. further, i'm taking it forward to
about midway because the first part of the course was about
voice-leading and i spent it orchestrating the beatles' something. i
don't have any files.
i was lucky: i went to a high school with a big music department. not an
arts school, mind you. just a school that had enough funding to run a
wide array of course options that are outside the basic core topics.
there were three main assignments in the course, and while i don't
remember the exact assignment questions, i do have two pieces to show
for it.
this, here, is a conceptual piece about pop music. all of the sounds are
created from pop cans. yes, puns are fun. the samples run from pouring
water out of pop cans into the sink, to crushing and smashing pop cans,
to opening them, to exploding them, etc.
i used the tab of a pop can as a pick as i played the ambient guitar
parts. it's all thrown together, processed, warped and perfected in a
wave editor.
constructed over a few days in april, 1999. ripped back to wav format from cd-r in late 2013. released as a one track
single on nov 21, 2013. release finalized on sept 12, 2017. first liner
note release added on dec 26, 2019. as always, please use headphones.
this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also
eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all
phases of production (1999, 2013-2019). as of dec 26, 2019, the release
includes a 5 page booklet in doc, pdf & html, with an html5 audio
frontend, that includes journal entries from the remastering process
over nov, 2013.
credits
released April 15, 1999
j - guitars, effects, samples, loops, digital wave editing
somebody
asked me to do this for them for a school project in the second half of
grade 12, which was early 1999. we're both italian. silly joke, no
offense intended.
i never saw the final version, but the guy described it to me. it was an
anti drinking and driving ad (think madd) for a marketing class. they
sequenced it up with shots of one of them stumbling towards a car,
getting in and driving off. very clownish, apparently.
i didn't spend a lot of time on this, so i didn't charge them for it or
anything. i think i was more hoping that it would float around a little,
but if it did i'm not aware of it.
streamed to disk in one take on the afternoon of march 9, 1999. ripped
back to wav format from cd-r in late 2013. released as a one track
single on nov 21, 2013. release finalized on sept 12, 2017. first liner
note released added on dec 25, 2019. as always, please use headphones.
this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal
entries from all phases of production (1999, 2013-2019). as of dec 25,
2019, the release includes a 4 page booklet in doc, pdf & html, with
an html5 audio frontend, that includes journal entries from the
remastering process over nov, 2013.
credits
released March 9, 1999
j - hammerhead (909 emulator), digital wave editing
this is something i did between inri demos. i needed a break from structured writing. just wanted to make some noise...
i suppose this is the biggest sample collage of them all, but it's best
not to take it too seriously. the idea here eventually morphed into a
project called "fuel true anarchy in the americas" (inri068), a play on
the ftaa trade agreement, which itself got toned down in scope.
there's everything from science docs to hitler in here. it's meant to be
a passive trip through real and imaginary time that is experienced with
the aid of psychedelic drugs, rather than any kind of political
statement. it's quite consciously absurd, often juxtaposing ironic
statements with their contradictions.
the core of the ambience was produced by a program called sound raider. i
then took the sound it created and shaped it by adding in vocal
samples, looping certain parts, running things through effects,
sequencing the noise into a more melodic shape, etc. it's consequently a
sort of a collaboration between myself and the machine, rather than the
work of the machine itself.
no sane person could really listen to this passively. you basically *need* drugs to get anything out of this at all.
...and i think i'm probably the only person that ever experienced it properly. hey, it's never too late...
created in the summer of 1998. released as a standalone ep on nov 16,
2013. audio permanently closed on oct 12, 2016. release finalized on oct
27, 2016. first liner not release added on dec 25, 2019. as always,
please use headphones.
this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also
eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all
phases of production (1998, 2013, 2016). as of dec 25, 2019, the release
includes a 5 page booklet in doc, pdf & html, with an html5 audio
frontend, that includes journal entries from the remastering process
over nov, 2013.
credits
released July 1, 1998
j - sound raider, sampling, cool edit synthesis/sequencing, digital effects processing, digital wave editing, flute
gauntk9 - anti-social quip
i spent
the summer and fall of 1997 programming drum tracks into an ry30,
notating them into a tablature program and sequencing them using
noteworthy composer. i did not know how i was going to record these
tracks. i think i was expecting to use the computer, but that was
probably naive; instead, i was gifted a 4-track recording machine. i
then spent the next year and a half rearranging and rerecording the
songs i programmed over that period. as these tracks were recorded into
my pc, they are time stamped...so i have a much clearer understanding of
when they were finished.
the jump to incorporating computers into the recording process is
something i always wanted to do, it's just that it wasn't really
previously feasible. first, there was a learning curve. i was a smart
kid, though; the learning curve was just a time concern. the larger
problem was simply access to a pc. i did have a pc at my disposal, but
it did not have a modem and it was only equipped to run windows 3.1,
which basically meant i could run civ 2 and wolfenstein and little else.
the windows 95 computer had dial up but it was in a central location
for family use.
when we moved across the city, my dad bought a new computer and i happily inherited his old one. this gave me internet access, which allowed me to download some freeware. it also gave me the time i needed to learn how to do certain things.
i'm separating out a handful of my first electronic sound experiments
and collecting them together into an ep. what these blasts of noise have
in common is that they were constructed on a windows 95 computer out of
samples or generated sound and with very primitive software while i was
waiting to get some kind of recording equipment. most of it was pasted
together meticulously using the windows 95 sound recorder; the rest of
it was constructed in cool edit, which i used as a sort of a
synthesizer.
for the most part, these weren't really ever meant to be songs. i ended
up using them as connectors, introductions, background. "continuity".
yet, i find the idea of throwing them together here to be interesting
from an autobiographical perspective.
created in mid 1997. sequenced and converted to stereo in november,
2013. released on nov 9, 2013. corrected in september, 2014. finalized
on july 5, 2016. first liner note released added on dec 23, 2019. as
always, please use headphones.
this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also
eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all
phases of production (1997, 2013, 2016). as of dec 23, 2019, the release
includes an 8 page booklet in doc, pdf & html, with an html5 audio
frontend, that includes journal entries from the remastering process
over nov, 2013.
credits
released December 1, 1997
j - cool edit (wave synthesis, digital wave
editing), windows 95 sound recorder (sampling, digital wave editing),
yamaha ry30 drum machine (programming)
my second
demo, recorded over the second half of the tenth grade, is a
considerably more polished recording. by this time, i had learned a lot
about how to record things and had improved my drumming and keyboard
playing. while the vocals remain highly erratic, ranging from
precociously insightful to devastatingly stupid, the music here is
actually not far from a professional recording.
recorded in spring 1997, remastered in fall 2013. finalized on july 3,
2016. first liner note release added on dec 23, 2019. as always, please
use headphones.
i consider this an archival release with little direct listening value.
i've pointed out repeatedly that i was 16. however, various segments
have been isolated and pulled out for a higher listenability value over
here:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inricycled-a
this release also includes a printable j-card insert and will also
eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all
phases of production (1997, 2013-2019). as of dec 23, 2019, the release
includes a 35 page booklet in doc, pdf & html, with an html5 audio
frontend, that includes journal entries from the remastering process
over nov, 2013.
credits
released June 1, 1997
j - guitars, effects, bass, drums, keyboards, tapes, vocals, found sounds, metronomes, production
i'm running into some chronological contradictions.
one
of the last things i did before i stopped for legal stuff was add the
inri000 liner notes to the october music journal download. i've now
added some posts from nov, 2013 to that liner note package, which also
has notes from sept, 2013 and will eventually have notes from various
periods between 1996-2026. so, what do i do now?
i was
initially considering leaving half finished versions strewn across the
downloads, but that doesn't make sense and will end up messy - that's a
bad idea. the other approach would be to update everything as it comes
up, so that this liner note package would appear everywhere it
intersects with, but that strikes me as overkill and difficult to
maintain.
rather. i think i've demonstrated to myself
that these are different ideas. the music journal is just that; the
liner notes are a subset of the broader journal, and need to exist in
their proper context.
therefore,
1) i am going to remove the inri000 liner notes from the october, 2013 music journal download, and i will not be uploading the liner notes to further journal entries.
2)
i will need to update the liner notes for each relevant release at the
end of each subsequent month, which could be messy, but is necessary.
so,
i'll need to update the language for october first, and then for
november, and then reupload the new notes for inri000, before i get to
inri001.
Sunday, December 22, 2019
i finally have the template for the html5 frontend done, and have uploaded it to the bandcamp site. this is not a formal rerelease, but an addition to the previous rerelease. the formal rereleases moving forward will include the html5 frontends by default.
there is an instructions file, but you basically just unzip and load the index into your browser.
this is overdue, but there should be some more releases up over the next few days.
when i woke up on sunday night around 22:00-ish, i immediately realized that there was something wrong, but i'd been reacting negatively to the salami at that point for a while and had decided to switch brands when i ran out - i realized i was a little hungover, maybe partly from the pot, but i actually thought it was mostly food poisoning. so, yes, i was sweaty and clammy from the time i woke up on sunday night, but i didn't think much of it at first and assumed i'd be fine by tuesday.
sunday night was spent burning electronic copies of the court material and generally getting everything in order. i was planning on printing on monday morning at the library, with the hopes of taking advantage of the cheaper rates there, and i was in the end able to print my 300 pages for $0.07/each, cutting printing costs down rather dramatically. it was when i was walking into the library in a dirty sweat that i first started to realize i was actually sick.
it was actually relatively warm on monday night, though, so it was a pleasant walk back and forth from the library, which i'd never been in before. i just haven't really had any reason to go to this campus. but, now that i know that the printing costs are so much less...
i forced myself to sleep for a few hours in the evening when i got back, so that i'd be ready to go in the morning. it didn't really "take", but i nonetheless ended up at the bus stop for a little before 8:00 with my mass of papers, a laptop and some more appropriate winter clothing. i napped for a bit from guelph to mississaugua, but was otherwise alert for the whole way, and i'm starting to get a better concept of the distance, and the landmarks that occur in between, along with their ordering. i'm used to coming into toronto from the other direction, remember, having grown up in ottawa. the bus was a little bit late, but it wasn't bad; i was there around 1:30, which gave me plenty of time to get to the courthouse to file.
were there some problems? well, i seem to have missed s. 4 of the rules of civil procedure, altogether. s. 4 has rules for presentation - things like book binding, regulations on font size, etc. i just didn't even see it, or see it mentioned anywhere by anybody. so, they wouldn't initially take it - i had to argue with them to accept it via a deficiency, and if the court decides to reject it on the basis that the font is too small, given that i gave them a digital copy, i'm willing to appeal that to the next court up, on principle. i saved hundreds of pieces of paper by filing it the way that i did. i'll defend that decision to whatever court i need to; bring it on.
besides these trivialities regarding the presentation of the documents, it was otherwise fine, and they did otherwise accept the perfection of the case. i will now need to wait for the oiprd to file their own documents in the same court, and send me the links. they've given me a time frame of before the 20th. i'm expecting them to miss this, but i won't start getting pissy until after christmas...
and, then it was something like 15:30 and i had some time to blow before the bus came to take me home at 1:00 in the morning. i was hungry, and it was bmt day at subway, so i had to stop to eat. i then went directly across the street to get some pot, and came out with two grams of 10% thc for under $20.
the bottom line is that i don't smoke a lot of drugs. so, if i found the brand that i bought last month, which was closer to 20% concentration, to be a little heavy, then the next step is to try something a little lighter. i found that the 10% was more along the lines of what i wanted, even if it was itself a tad light. so, we're getting closer. you don't have these discussions with friends or acquaintances, you just use adjectives like "good" and "potent", so quantifying it is going to take some experimenting, and that's alright. like, i didn't walk into the beer store at 18 and know what i could and couldn't handle, it took me some time to figure it out. likewise, i could be at this for a few tries before i get it right.
but, the 10% was about right for the night, even if it faded on me a little too fast when i got home. so, next time, i might try something closer to 15%. i'll have this down to a regular order, eventually.
i got out of the store and basically walked into the first bar to roll, when i inquired about the price of beer on the way out. $5 for a tall can? well, that's not too bad, and it seemed like there was cheap food there, too. i've never spent much time in toronto, and it will take me some time to get to know it. i had a few hours to blow, as it was, so i sat and had a few tall cans, before moving on to the show.
the initial thought process behind going down on this night was that the tickets were cheapest and i'd get to see the joy formidable. but, the joy formidable turned out to be a pricey show. i know they're coming in from wales and everything, but they just priced themselves out of my range. you were looking at $40 after services fees; i'll rarely pay more than $20, and decided against it on this night.
instead, i hit a local experimental jazz show at a kind of community centre on burnswick nearly all the way to bloor. i actually hope i don't end up spending too much time in toronto, but this is maybe the kind of thing i'd be more likely to sneak into, on a random night. these were local musicians, playing their own work in an old bar, for what seemed like a mostly local if largely bourgeois crowd. it was pay what you can, and the beer was reasonably priced. let's hope i can get to more spots like this...
the main act called itself tyrannick love this week but was mostly improv and played two sets. it was anchored by the juxtaposition of a busier sax player with a more ambient, experimental guitarist that had a lot of floor pedals and wasn't afraid to use them. maybe it's because i was in toronto, but it had a distinct dmst feel at points that was pretty real; overall, though, the major aesthetic was a swirling, effects driven ambience that sidelined both the sax and drum players for long periods, as the bassist went motorik over some feedback and loops. it was an enjoyable cave for the space i was in, absolutely.
i can't find a video of this exact lineup, but the guitarist & sax
player appear to have a lot of material online under a lot of different
names, one of them being patrick reilly's wire circus, which is not entirely dissimilar to what i saw:
the third set was purposefully experimental to the point of being kind of a spectacle, and i consequently found myself more trying to figure out the physics behind what he was doing than actually listening to it. he seems to have essentially created a number of homemade speakers and more or less broken them in real time, although he surprised me in some of his answers when i questioned him - claiming, for example, that his chattering magnets were being driven by instructions on an sd card, like a chiptune piece, rather than being driven by the radio, which i thought was obvious. i actually initially thought he was setting up a theremin.
it was a sound installation, a demonstration, an experiment, rather than the presentation of any kind of actual composition. i'd consequently rather direct you directly to his page, which is here: https://www.youtube.com/user/CMigone/videos
but, here is a video of something to separate the section:
there was a fourth set by what i believe to have been a local interpretive dance artist named "alicia grant", but details are scant, and the name appears to be in use by several (diverse) artists in the general area. i was actually rolling a joint through much of her set. so, she spent some time writhing on the ground, and repeating distressed statements into the microphone. listen: i grasp that specific subsets of arts students get off on the expression and rawness of something like this, but i largely found it sort of pointless. my tendency is to interpret something like this from a pretty far intellectual distance, and kind of shudder at the situation, but otherwise kind of emotionally avoid it. i just don't see the point in it, other than to point at the spectacle, and i'm actually too polite to even do that.
so, there's no link.
in all, i was there around 19:00 and gone around 00:00, with the necessity to catch the bus at 1:00, and that worked out just fine, in the end. if i get the opportunity to see something specific in toronto that i can't catch here the next time i go down, i'm sure i'll jump at the opportunity to see it. if not, i think i'd be just as happy or happier to check out the local scene, actually. so, that's the broader takeaway - i should be happy to catch a local jazz or psych show, and actually spend some time being in toronto rather than get obsessed with finding something from out of town; the local talent there is worth checking out, too.
i fell asleep almost as soon as i got on the bus and slept pretty much all the way back to windsor, but also first noticed myself seriously wheezing on the ride back in and thinking i was reacting to the exhaust - and maybe i was, or maybe it was as much about the dry air from the heaters on the bus as it was anything else. i was hacking though, and it's more or less still going.
the walk back home was cold in a really legitimate sense, too, requiring a serious bundle up. it's frustrating when you happen to have no choice but to go out in the one or two cold days of the year, but that's how it's unfortunately worked itself out, so far, hopefully, i should be able to avoid the cold for most of the rest of the year by just staying inside. we'll see....
i got some nachos on the way back, was done eating them by around 7:00, and in the end slept most of the day.
Sunday, December 15, 2019
i spent a little time on friday morning wondering about attending the no rest fest, concluding before i slept that it seemed like a worthwhile spectacle, and was even toying with the idea of hanging out somewhere all morning and dropping by the trumbullplex in the afternoon. i decided in the morning that i'd end up spending $10 on food and whatever else by staying in detroit anyways, so i'd might as well go home and get some rest, then make the choice in the afternoon. and, i initially had decided against it. but, i really felt the urge to experience this, for the hell of it.
i was also hoping that i might stumble into a drummer, as the band is known for high-end guest drummer spots.
this time, i went right to the station to get tickets, and i caught the bus relatively easily. i stayed on the bus to rosa parks, a rare detour, and got off to find a liquor store on the way to the trumbullplex. the other attraction of this night is it's low price tag - $5 cover, in a byob space. so, that's a $10 night. yeah.
i was there around 10:00-10:30-ish and the place was really in mayhem from the getgo. i had to get in immediate line for the washroom, which took me the length of somebody's set to get into, and then spent a little time stumbling around outside, and i'm not entirely sure what i missed. i think it was initially a female singer, but that would probably mean that solemn judgement played earlier than is listed.
regardless, this is the list that was posted. i was simply not paying attention, initially. i think i saw reverend leave in a distressed huff when i came in, so that would be consistent with coming in between 10:00 and 10:30.
i think the band i caught on the way out of the washroom was shock narcotic, which is actually kind of a
local supergroup, with members of child bite, dillinger escape plan and
black dahlia murders. i didn't get much out of this...
i then went out for a smoke and, after having a brief talk about genghis tron (are they still going?)
and ministry (al's lost it.)
in reference to the previous act, was handed a multiple gram pre-roll that may at part be to blame for the sickness i experienced over the next few days. this was a philly, by any other name, but it was rolled more like a cocoon, and you may have been forgiven for thinking that's what it was. but, we're talking something that's a good inch in diameter, and three or four long. call it a stubby, even. but, it was a big joint, and i smoked through about three quarters of it before i handed it off.
the person that gave it to me was impressed, even, by how much of it that i managed to smoke. and, i think i felt it a few days later...
how did i get this joint? i don't know, exactly. well, i know how - it was handed to me. the why isn't totally clear. according to the person that gave it to me, he rolled up a total of seven of these huge joints and gave them to people he recognized and thought were cool. i got the seventh and final seal:
1 And when he had opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven about the space of half an hour.
2 And I saw the seven angels which stood before God; and to them were given seven trumpets.
3 And another angel came and stood at the altar, having a
golden censer; and there was given unto him much incense, that he
should offer [it] with the prayers of all saints upon the golden altar
which was before the throne.
4 And the smoke of the incense, [which came] with the prayers of the saints, ascended up before God out of the angel's hand.
5 And the angel took the censer, and filled it with fire
of the altar, and cast [it] into the earth: and there were voices, and
thunderings, and lightnings, and an earthquake.
6 And the seven angels which had the seven trumpets prepared themselves to sound.
Revelation 16:1
hey, if jesus wants a toke he's welcome to get in on this....
sarah would tell them not to encourage me in my jesus freak delusions. but, hey. i got the seventh seal. incense, pot, whatever. you don't think that's a coincidence, do you? so, check your potato chips for signs of the return. maybe it's been set in motion.
all absurdities aside, i didn't entirely prod about the reasons for the seven joints, i just accepted my good fortune and sparked it up. we had previously had a discussion about colin marston, which is the root determination of his decision that i was cool - i had just pulled that colin marston reference out of my ass, randomly, in mid-conversation, and it was impressive enough to land me a free philly months later. score.
behold...
anyways, was there some jesus freak symbolism going on? i don't know. i doubt he knew the can of worms he was opening, if there was.
i do know that the gift got me pretty stoned, though, and that i went in to catch something that was playing midset, after having a chat around the fire on the side. the drumming kind of pulled me in. i think this was snafu, which is not the 90s skate punk band of the same name but a more recent act from detroit. they were better from a distance. this is a from a few years ago:
i was then out for another smoke and back in to use the washroom, thinking it was close to midnight.
when i got out of the washroom, one of the first things i remember hearing was "we're strange magic, and if you didn't know it then now you fucking know". so, there's my reference point, and this is where the night starts to take a bit of a turn.
first, watch this video of the strange magic set:
do you see where he says to pass that vcr around? i must have been in the bathroom at that point. when i came out, the vcr was still going around, and eventually ended up passed towards me from behind; as i was oblivious to the circumstances, and didn't see it coming from behind me, it landed directly on my head.
i had no idea what happened at this point, other than that i'd been attacked by or with some kind of electronic equipment. my first reaction was to try to determine if somebody was trying to hurt me, and i was pretty quickly able to determine that it didn't appear to be malicious - people were just being silly (perhaps irresponsible, but just silly.) and i ended up in the middle of it by accident. so, i kind of had little choice but to play along with it.
"wait. what was that?"
"i think it was like a computer or something"
"like, a pc tower?"
"yeah."
"what? so, i just got attacked by somebody's computer?"
"apparently."
"wait. no. i want to determine the identity of the technology that just assaulted me. somebody tell me what that was."
"it was a vcr."
"a vcr?"
"yeah."
"in 2019?"
"yeah."
"a vcr?"
"YEAH!"
"so, i was just randomly assaulted by 80s technology, then"
"it was early 90s, tops."
"fuck."
so, what else do you do? i went for a smoke. and, i asked around - is there a bruise on my head?
(i discovered in the morning that there was actually a bruise on my head)
and, then it appeared, outside - the vcr, on the ramp into the trumbullplex. well, you know it was payback time, after that. it got a good stomping on, and it deserved it. fucker. until...
"hey! that's my vcr!"
i caught most of tart's set. this is a subset of a recent style of female-fronted punk that is written for a male audience, and intends to make that male audience feel uncomfortable. that's the intended experience: to writhe uncomfortably at what's occurring in front of you. and, my general reaction to this is that it doesn't really serve much of a purpose. i'm going to tend to want to look past it and try and see what else they're doing; this particular act was a little on the poppy side. there's a sample here:
the last thing up was the armed, and remember that these are fifteen minute sets, so it wasn't much of a show. unfortunately, i stood in the wrong part of the audience.
i'll state this flat out: i don't understand why people think i want to mosh. i'm an openly transgendered person that introduces myself as jessica and wears women's clothing when i'm out. i modulate between 120-140 pounds, none of it muscle. i'm 5 ' 8". it should be obvious what's going to happen if you take a run at me: i'm going to get knocked over like the petite, effeminate woman that i am.
so, that's what happened - somebody took a run at me, and i almost fell over and had the drink knocked out of my hand in the process, as should have been the obvious outcome to anybody that wasn't stupid. no, i'm not going to be able to withstand a body check by a grown man, and you're a moron if that's what you thought would happen. the person that slammed me may want to know that he also bruised my thigh; he should really be very proud of himself for leaving a mark on a girl. idiot.....
so, that was what i experienced - a sudden mosh pit that i spent the next ten minutes trying to get out of. and, while that isn't the first time that i found myself trying to get out of a pit that materialized out of nowhere, the crowded nature of the space made it a little harder to get out than normal, and the short nature of the set meant that there wasn't much time to readjust. it really wasn't very much fun, and i really didn't get a chance to listen to much of anything, as i was just trying to get out of the pit. and, then it was done, and the only substantive thing that had happened was that i'd lost my drink.
i actually was hoping to hang out there for a while, but it didn't make sense to stay there anymore, once i'd lost my drink. i checked the time - 12:45. if that was right, i could conceivably catch the bus; i'd made that walk in a shorter amount of time. so, i was out...
if i still had my drink, i would have stayed. but, i think i was actually a little miffed at getting slammed and didn't really want to sit around to talk to the person that hit me. i think i wanted to avoid a confrontation; i think i wanted to cut my losses and get out. while i'm going to ask that person to think twice about it the next time they decide it's a good idea to hit a girl, i'm going to put the issue aside and forget about it.
i did legitimately intend to get to the bus station on time, and walked at quite the pace to get there, but when i stopped in at the leland club to check the time, i realized it was too late - 1:15. i'm sure i've done that walk in 10 minutes. i was not planning on ending up there that night; i had $7, meaning if i paid cover, i'd lose the ability to buy a drink. so, if i couldn't talk my way past the door girl, i'd have to go somewhere else.
but, the door girl was not working that night, which may have worked out in my favour. i was indeed able to walk right past the door guy, and buy a few more drinks before last call.
the goth club is dying, and has been dying for a long time. they actually had the ballroom closed off, because there aren't enough people there to justify opening it. that cut the space down into kind of a more normal bar, with people actually sitting in the seated area in between.
but, that's where i ended up for the night. do i regret it? i regret losing my drink. i was planning on staying at the trumbullplex for most of the night, and i guess i don't know how that turned out or how it would have turned out. and, i might have found my way back there by the end of the night if they had stonewalled me at the goth club. but, i guess i was both cool enough to get the seventh seal and cool enough (or uncool enough) to avoid cover at leland, on this night. the bottom line is that i can't be hanging out somewhere without anything to drink...
i ended up hanging out at the actual hotel until around 6:00, then moved over to rosa parks until around 8:00, before i went back to the tunnel. i got some nachos on the way home, took a shower and slept until sunday night, when i woke up feeling something awful.
Saturday, December 14, 2019
plaid was a show that i was looking forward to, and had planned around, so the weather was a necessary peril, and i had to just deal with it. i was hoping to get in a little early and maybe find some legal marijuana, as well as set up a bank account with a driver's license that i don't have yet, but that wasn't available, yet. so, instead, i ended up dragging myself through the cold for a still pretty early entry, around 22:30. that meant that i missed most of dave shettler's set.
i actually like ambient music, and i've enjoyed his sets before; i think maybe what i missed was very similar to something i had caught while on edibles during plug, based on the similarities at the end. i intended to catch the set, i was just late through a cold walk.
i would have caught the 8:30 bus if i would have just gone to the bus station to get tickets, but i was apprehensive about my payment method and the only store i was sure took the prepaid mastercard and sold tickets was shoppers. so, i took a mild detour to the shopper's around the corner, only to find out that they don't sell tunnel bus tickets - surprisingly. so, i went down to the shopper's at ouellette, another detour around the greyhound station, only to find out that they closed at 20:00! it was around 20:40. so, i checked the convenience stores and asked around and was left with the only remaining option being the station itself, which was thankfully open. so, i started off by touring around in the cold for an extra half hour, and was already pretty cold by the time i got over the border.
and, then i walked to marble, which was a colder and lengthier walk than i remembered it being. see, i've been on my bicycle through detroit for months, and it's not far on a bike up to trumbull & grand. it's a hefty walk, though. it was just too cold to bike and end up anywhere, presentable. but, i still haven't fixed my tube, yet.
it took roughly an hour, an hour spent consuming a lemonish liquid while juggling cigarettes, and with neither hat nor gloves, through -15 C windchills, although the ambient temperature itself was merely hovering around zero. it was like a blizzard without any actual snow. i knew i was getting in somewhere, but that could have been a dangerous night to get stuck out in.
i was happy to find a heater to warm up beside when i got in, found some pot, and found the set ending right when i was about to start listening. as mentioned, it sounded familiar to me, so it was no doubt part of the set he played there behind plug.
the next thing up was daedalus, who i knew nothing about other than that they were on ninja tune, and that that's a label that i have some healthy respect for - they tend to release interesting music. there was a discussion about how to classify it, but i didn't find it that daunting - it was a kind of dubstep/idm. i found it moderately interesting, and might check out some more of it if the opportunity arises.
this is a few years old, but it's not dissimilar:
plaid was kind of really plaid, it's almost like they were more plaid than plaid. if i could imagine what a plaid show would be like, it would be pretty much that. an interesting quirk to the show was that they had a live violin player playing segments of sound that were then cut up and manipulated into loops, in real time. so, what you were actually experiencing was often this group of like sound engineers messing with live sound. sonically, it was kind of very plaid - a mix of lush atmospheric ambience with jittery and sometimes plodding beats, along with some strategic melodic programming. if you always wanted to experience plaid, that was exactly what the show was.
a plaid fan youtube site seems to have a recent set from istanbul that appears to be very similar to the detroit set:
however, this is the only footage that i could find of the live violin player:
there was a dj afterwards that allowed for some dancing.
this bar is hit and miss in terms of closing times. they're sometimes open until the afternoon, and sometimes closed at 3:00. i was hoping to stretch this night out a little so that i could just go straight to the tunnel, but they were shutting the place down by 3:01. so, i had to find somewhere to eat.
first, i had to get to my jacket, which i left outside the bar and required a small journey outside to retrieve. this time spent outside in a tshirt should not have been particularly damaging to me, given that the temperature was still hovering around freezing, but with the windchill the cold was flat out dangerous, so i actually had to stop there for a few minutes and warm-up before i carried on. i ended up with a small amount of frostbite on my left thumb, but i can't tie it directly to that moment.
it was still only 3:30 at that point, roughly two hours earlier than i wanted it to be, so i had to make a choice to go to the diner, with the hopes that they'd allow me to eat there. it's a funny thing, actually - the diner was an entirely different experience, all of a sudden. rather than handing everything out via takeout, they actually had two servers that were taking orders, like an actual restaurant. i ordered some bacon & eggs, got a refill on the coffee, and paid the bill without experiencing any negativity at all. i hope that this is indicative of future experiences at the diner.
hey, i don't recall ever starting any trouble at this place, and all i ever wanted out of it was some breakfast, and maybe a place to sip coffee and/or doze off at while i'm waiting for a bus or a show. the premise of my reaction was that i was taken aback by the hostility and ultimately didn't understand it; the preferred outcome is to annihilate the hostility as counter-productive to everybody's interests, but first to understand the causes of it, and try to determine if they're rooted in factual perceptions or not. for example, if somebody thought i was a prostitute, that would be false. we haven't got there yet, and maybe we never will, but if the issue just evaporates, that's fine, too.
by the time i'd finished the refill on the coffee, i'd actually missed the early bus. but, i caught the second bus back in, and had to stop for timmy's on the way back - i just needed some warmth for my hands. and, i had no choice but to shower almost immediately, to counteract the onset of hypothermia - a shower that it took me some time to warm up in, despite the scalding temperatures.
after warming up, i actually slept nicely until late in the afternoon.
Saturday, November 23, 2019
so, i was up at about 3:30 on monday morning, finished the writing, did some errands in the afternoon, made a large meal to give me energy for the next few days, took a long shower and got ready to get out.
i took the 1:30 am bus on tuesday morning, got to toronto at 6:30 sharp, had to blow a few hours, got the first part of the filing done very early, was done serving by 11:00 and got the certificate of service in before noon. i then bought some drugs and went to hang out in the library for a few hours. i couldn't find a seat when i came back in from a smoke, so i was out to the second part of the night earlier than intended, around 15:30. i decided to just go down to the bar a little early for an early beer...
the initial plan was to catch a local guitarist - sean pinchin - play from about 18:00-21:00, have a few cheap beers while i was there, and then go to the bovine sex club for the rest of the night to watch some psychedelic rock bands (headliner: goon), before getting pho at about 3:00 and catching the bus out at 8:00.
but, beer is expensive in toronto. in windsor, beer runs around $3.50-$4.00, cdn. beer in detroit is $2.00-$4.00 usd, which is still only $2.50-5.50 cdn. in toronto, $7.00 cdn is considered cheap, and people don't seem to like it when you complain about it. so, i wanted to go to what i thought was a dive bar to get some cheap beer early, but came up against a $7.00 beer that i just didn't budget for. i mean, maybe there's places in windsor with $7.00 beer, but they'd be full of middle class bourgeois types that i wouldn't like very much and i'd have so little interest in going to them that i don't even know where they are. even that spot across from phog that i complained about is selling tall boys for $6.00, not pints for $7.00. if i walked into a bar in windsor and they tried to charge me $7.00 for a pint, i'd just laugh at them and go somewhere else.
as it is, upon bitching about the price, i was informed by the bartender that i could get a beer for $3.50 down the street, so i took a walk to save a few dollars, and hopefully turn one beer into two. that's just smart fiscal management. clearly.
listen: it's not like i was just being cheap. really. i had a fixed sum to work with, which was down to $43 at this point. if i spent all of my money on an expensive $7.00 beer, i'd just run out of it in a few drinks. then, i'd be stuck in toronto until 8:00 with no money and no alcohol and nothing to do. that's not a question of being cheap, it's a question of being stupid. when you have a fixed amount of money to work with, you have to be smart about how you're spending it - and spending $7.00 for a single beer would just not be very smart. if i was working for the government, i could just print more; i'm not, so i have limits i have to abide by.
but, this bartender at the spot i thought was a dive bar but wasn't....he didn't like me after that. this was a middle-aged white guy with facial hair (and, you know you're special when you hit 25 and still insist on facial hair. lol.) that probably leaned pretty far to the right of the political spectrum, if you can judge a middle-aged white guy by his facial hair, and you usually can. so, my cheap beer at the early show at the dive bar idea failed in a few different ways....it turned out to be expensive beer amidst what was really a rather undesirable crowd of right-wingers that still believe in upholding class (!).
the cheaper beer (it was sill $3.50) was at a place called 'wide open', which started to pick up quite a bit after 17:00. see, i liked the cheaper beer, but the music in the place was truly awful. i'm just not going to want to sit around and listen to bon jovi. sorry.
so, i went back to the not-actually-a-dive-bar, talked the bartender into a $5.50 beer and caught the guy play the first part of his set.
i wasn't actually sure what to expect - it was advertised as a juno-nominated blues guitarist, and i was just waiting for the show at the bovine to start, anyways, so i wasn't that invested.
but, he actually did a lot of finger-picking, and it was broadly instrumental, in scope. so, i found myself enjoying the music in a more detailed way than initially expected, enough that i decided to close my eyes for a bit to float off into it.
uch-o. that's against the rules, apparently. tough guy bartender with the facial hair didn't like that, and asked me to leave for "sleeping at the bar" - an egregiously false claim that anybody in the room would immediately identify as such. rather, i think it's clear enough that he just didn't think i was wealthy enough to hang out there...
so, i sent the guitarist the following message, over facebook, when i got home:
so, i tried to check out your set on tuesday. and, it was a good set, from what i caught of it. i was in town to do some filing at the court house; i live in windsor. i'm suing the cops for a warrantless arrest that shouldn't have happened, if you're curious. so, i caught the 1:30 bus from windsor in the morning, and everybody drinks on the greyhound, right? i was halfway through a long day full of lots of alcohol and marijuana, and i wasn't going to get home to shower until the next day... what i said to the bartender was true i am a guitarist (you can check me out by clicking through the links), and i actually have a little bit of training in renaissance classical music, but i'm mostly a psychedelic blues guitarist. so, i like guitar music, and i was enjoying your set. i often enjoy listening to guitar music with my eyes closed, so i can experience it in three dimensions, in the context of the fret board. it's not exactly synesthesia, it's more of a math thing (i also have a math degree), but it's how i dig it. some people wanna get up and clap and dance; i want to close my eyes and space out. that should be fine, right? but, i couldn't finish your set because they threw me out for "falling asleep at the bar", which is just an empirically and factually false analysis of the situation. i can be drunk and close my eyes and enjoy your set without falling asleep. but, so what if i *was* falling asleep? beer in toronto is about twice the price of beer in windsor, and that caught me off guard, so i had to readjust my budgeting. i had $40 to get me through the night, period. but, i had bought a beer and was intending to buy another one. you'd think you're entitled to a complimentary nap after paying for two beers, right? the impression i got from the bartender was actually that he interpreted me as too lower class for his establishment. and, i mean, that's his opinion, if he wants to be like that... the point i'm trying to make is this: i came to see you play, and the bar threw me out. no, i don't have a lot of money, and, yes, i was kind of drunk, but i was legitimately interested in your art. the reality is that you're a dirty roots guitarist. correctly or not, i may have come off as a poor drunk, but in the sense that that was true, i'm your audience - those guys in suits aren't. how many other people are going to show up there to see you and get thrown out because they're too drunk or don't want to pay $7.00 for a beer? so, i'm writing you as an artist to ask you to question whether you think that's a good place to play at or associate yourself with. it's clearly not a sustainable weekly gig. but, are you hurting yourself more than helping yourself? if you were playing on the sidewalk for change instead, nobody would have chased me off.
==========
and, i'd just leave the situation at that.
i didn't pay cover to get into this place, and it wasn't my intended destination for the night; i just stopped by for a beer or two, and i was planning on leaving within an hour or two. further, i did catch the first half of the set. so, being asked to leave did not affect my night very much.
i may suggest that the bartender is a bit of an asshole, but there wasn't a lot of point in getting upset about it. rather, my reaction is more along the lines of that i don't particularly want to go back to this place, and would plead with people that are in the neighbourhood to choose to play somewhere else, instead. i would choose to avoid that place by choice, next time i'm around.
so, after buying a $3.50 beer and a $5.50 beer, i'm down to $34, and i'm out of smokes. the cost of cigarettes in toronto? $11. and, i know it's $10 for cover, taking me down to $13 for the night.
it's a good thing i didn't buy that $7.00 beer, right? but, the beer at the bovine wasn't cheap, either - i paid $5.50 for a can, and then had to hang on to the rest of the change in my pocket, in the hopes that i'd be able to get something to eat.
my comments regarding the first three acts are actually the same, namely that they each had moments, in their own ways, that were dragged down by an insistence on returning to a poppier aesthetic. in all three cases, i found myself wondering why they'd go back to the saccharine over and over, when it just wasn't working, but maybe i'm missing a trend, or something, i dunno; i know that that was the commonality here, and i don't actually think there's a lot else worth taking much note of.
the first act were highly impressed by the sound tech's suggestion of turning the amp down during sound check, but i actually think they got quite a bit more grit out of the amp than the monitors would allow for. put another way: the monitors gave them more of a "solid state" type 80s rock sound, which they seemed to prefer over their crappy 90s analog pedals. i liked that creamy, sustained muff tone better than the brittle-digital-distortion-through-fender-jazz tone he fixed you up with, guys. but i kept quiet. *shrug*.
they're just kids. they know not...
sicayda were enjoyable as a gaze act, but, as mentioned, they kept going back to these poppy sections that just left me scratching my head.
and, i'll say the same thing about goon, who were almost an interesting psych act, but just couldn't leave the pop at home, in los angeles.
i will acknowledge that i had what i believe i am correct in calling an anxiety attack near the start of the goon set, which required me to cheat hypothermia in stripping down to my tshirt in order to sweat something out that i had breathed in a few minutes earlier. somebody was looking to kill their joint. i'll always take it if nobody wants it, but it took me up past some thc blood level concentration point and forced me to process it, in the way i know how. then i was fine, as always.
if you were to ask me, i would suggest that goon need to decide if they're a psych act or a pop act, but the kids might give you another story.
the place cleared out almost entirely after goon, but they did have one more act, which was even catchier and didn't really have the moments that the first three did. this was definitely more in a new wave or post-punk tradition, so i'm not surprised to realize that they're a little older. i like this general style, but i need something more abstract than this.
then, it was like 1:00 and they were done.
as mentioned, i had $9.00 on me, and i wanted to save it to get something to eat. i just underestimated the cost of everything. if i had saved an extra $4-5 by paying a little less for pretty much everything, i would have bought another beer; conversely, if i had an extra $20, i would have bought another beer. but, i just misbudgeted, and was kind of stuck.
my options were to go sit in a diner for the next 6-7 hours or hang around at the bar until 3:00, with the hopes that a conversation might open up....and then sit in a diner for 3-4 hours. it seemed like an obvious choice. but, this bar - which i hadn't been in before - was actually kind of a couples bar, after the bands had cleared out; there were lots of people there, but they were pretty much solely in units of two. again, this is abnormal for the kinds of places i go to, which tend to be less about going on dates and more about hanging out. i don't know when i'll be in toronto next, but i'll keep that in mind...
the people were at least friendly. mostly.
so, i was approached by a bassist/singer in a few local bands that seemed intent on telling me bad jokes, and arguing with me over the value of recorded music. and, i won't post her links here, but it demonstrates that the place was friendly enough, even to a stranger from out of town there accidentally on an unofficial couples night.
it wasn't quite 3:00 when i left - i didn't make them throw me out - but it was close. and, off i went for pho...
.....which i knew would be cheap, but how cheap? $9.00 cheap? it turns out, not - it was $11.00 cheap, but not $9.00 cheap. so, i went looking for a sub, instead...
....and, i found one, but i would have had to eat it outside, which i balked at.
instead, i got a sausage from the truck outside for $4.50 and a coffee at the denny's, and hit the internet where i read the news for a bit. but, i didn't want to fall asleep and miss the bus, so i went back to the bus station to type there....
...and learned that they shut down all of the outlets at the greyhound. yeah. well, it didn't click at first - i went from outlet to outlet and finally found one in the basement, before the cops came down and threw me out, for reasons that i couldn't understand.
i had two dollars on me at the end, and went looking for a bag of chips, when it clicked - they've installed charging ports. aha.
it would be one thing for them to install quick charging ports as a convenience for people with fast phones, but it's another thing altogether to actually disassemble the electrical plugs, to stop people from charging. my chromebook is misbehaving, so i can't charge it right now. but, it doesn't have usb charging, anyways. so, they're taking away something without fully replacing it.
and, they didn't have outlets on the bus, either, so i just slept on the way home....
*shrug*.
i was home at about 15:00 on wednesday afternoon, ate, showered and passed out until early in the morning.
next time i go to toronto, i'll need to bring a few extra dollars - or, if i don't have it, reschedule until i do. it was a difference of about $30.
but, i did the filing that i needed to do, which was the point of the trip, and i didn't not enjoy the show, for what it was.
Sunday, November 10, 2019
so, what happened on thursday?
mindful of the impending yearly catastrophe that canadians call winter, i did a large amount of grocery shopping on hallowe'en (which wasn't so bad weather wise, at least at first.) with the intent to allow for minimal foraging until the end of the month, while hoping for the opportunity to take advantage of a nice day or two, mid to late month. i knew i was going to have to get out to toronto at some point but i had no intention of getting to any concerts in the region until closer to the end of the month.
but, my laptop crashed on the night of the third (corrupt boot sector. lengthy but easy fix.), which gave me several days to sort through the listings for the month, and i pulled out a night i couldn't miss out on. would you skip this night?
detroit component:
early evening show: tchaikovsky's first piano concerto at the orchestra hall
evening show: black midi, which are a noise rock band from the uk that has worked with damo suzuki
windsor component:
late show: lushh, which are an electronic jazz band from kalamazoo
potential late late show: heart attack kids, which are a punk band from london, on
that's a stacked night. i couldn't miss it.
but, i missed it. this is what happened...
i was running a little late as it was, but when i got to the bus station in windsor, the attendant informed me that the tunnel was closing for the night. what that would mean is that i'd have to find a way to get back over the bridge after black midi and, even if i could figure it out, i'd blow the late shows. it just wasn't worth it. alas...
so, i just stayed in windsor, which meant i caught the early show at phog, and then the late show at phog and then the late late show at meteor (and then went back to phog for a beer).
lushh were passively enjoyable, but i actually didn't find them to be mind-bending in any particular way. i didn't want to just go home after coming face to face with the bus situation, so i stayed. but, i wouldn't actually go out of my way for this. it tended to drag a little with superfluous space-filling solos that actually weren't that great, creating a large amount of empty space that was often not taken advantage of as well as it could have been. i tend to pay more attention to guitarists, but it was the drummer that tended to carry them. he didn't seem that interested in the idea of aphex twin remixing queen, though; he treated the proposition like i was proposing some kind of infidelity. or, maybe that was masking a physical attraction that he didn't know how to grapple with. hey, that happens. i'll back off, but offer's open...
it's not like it was a bad show; if you get the chance, you should take the time to give it a few minutes. you'll note that the particular link i'm posting is a bit more guitar-focused (and also very recent), so it actually kind of demonstrates the point: it just didn't quite get off the ground, for me. i need a bit more than that to really get into it.
but, i would choose not to skip them a second time, just in case.
i ran across the street after the set to catch what was left and was kind of baffled by the energy, which i was not expecting. i'm actually not 100% certain what i even saw at all. what i was expecting was a kind of rootsy mid-period whites stripes kind of thing, but they showed up with a bassist and a female drummer (i think she was the drummer for wine lips, as she was using the wine lips kit) and just tore the place down. they introduced themselves as the heart attack kids, but this was not the same band. so, was it also the bassist for wine lips? is there some merging going on here?
it's been a while since i heard something quite like this, which actually had some nirvana-ish undertones in all of the right ways. like i say, it just ripped.
but, this is an emergent phenomenon, so i have no link to share - just the observation that the heart attack kids have evolved, and a recommendation that you check them out.
so, i ended up back at phog for a last beer, listened to some kids talk about philosophy and stuff and stumbled out late into the cold...
...and it was, indeed, cold - cold enough that i stopped a few times to warm up. i was reminded why i don't do this at this time of year. according to the thermostat, it wasn't that bad, but the wind was brutal. it was a difficult walk, at points.
but, i got me some nachos, took me a shower and then slept all day.
so, there's the review. it could be a while before the next one.
Thursday, November 7, 2019
i think that, in terms of journals, the answer is no - let the documents stand alone as they are. that's the point.
let the interactive documents exist as a front end for the period discs, which are isos.
but, should the liner notes have an html mirror, as a third part? if so, it makes sense to embed, right?
yeah.
so,
1) let the journals stand as they are. pure text. pure data.
2) when the journals are integrated into the aleph isos, make them interactive with the local files over html.
3) make the liner notes so that they're interactive with local files in html format, at least for the file types that are supported. so, if you download the record, you get an interactive document.
so, i'll need to add html files to inri000 and keep them going, moving forward.
Wednesday, November 6, 2019
note: should i be embedding audio and video into journals?
final
product will be a non-proprietary html5 project with local file access,
but is there some value in actually embedding the links? with the
vlogs, maybe more so.
that would require changing file formats from doc to something else.
Sunday, November 3, 2019
so, i'm making a conscious attempt to refocus. i've been stuck in a rut and want to get back to work. so, i want to make a few notes on the condition of the various sites i have running, here, before i shift gears rather dramatically.
i think it's clear at this point that i can't do all of these things at once, that i need to do one or two at a time. attempts to do everything all at once have merely left me unable to finish anything at all. so, what am i going to be focusing on?
my focus for quite some time now has been rebuilding blogs. first, it was the politics blog and the music journal, which i had running recurrently. i spent a large amount of 2016-2017 pulling data down from the internet into a set of word documents, and almost all of 2018 rebuilding these two blogs from those word documents. these would grow to take in the vlog and other things that developed over the last few years, creating a narrative of my musical output from 2013-2017 (as well as some cursory and largely unimportant political rambling). then, i expanded these to include a review site and a travel blog, so that i was rebuilding four blogs instead of two. as an addendum to this, there were two alter-reality blogs put aside - one that would end in mid-1996 and one that would start in mid-1996. but, the actual focus - the actual thing i was doing - was building liner notes for the music site. all of the 6 blogs i have running are essentially intended as commentary for the music. they have no meaningful context, otherwise, and mean nothing to me when separated from it.
i wanted this all to converge into a period disc that i would release at the end of 2019 (on the 20 year anniversary of the end of inri, 1996-1999) and that would include final versions of my first 37 releases, the corresponding sections of each of the six blogs (but mostly the music journal + the two alter-reality blogs) and vlogs that were relevant to the construction, interspersed. this would be repeated for period 3 (the next 39 releases), to be released in mid-2023. this would be intended as a comprehensive historical document, in the form of an electronic journal. don't call it a memoir - i'm not important enough for that. but, remember - as an artist, i basically die at 30. everything since that age has been documentation. there has been and will be no new original recordings past the year 2011. so, don't call it a memoir....but call it one if you really want. i'm not upset about not having a meaningful existence past the age of 30, because i never wanted to live past 30, anyways; most people get exceedingly lame in their 30s, and downright awful in their 40s, so i'm happy enough to avoid becoming that.
unfortunately, a series of necessary legal issues around the security of my housing that have largely been outside of my control have slowed me down dramatically, and forced me to extend the release date of the period disc by an extra ten years. i do not currently have a clear resolution as to how to get over this and get back to a stable recording situation, but i'll have to get by with what i can. i really see little recourse but to try and extend the legal battles to my eventual advantage. this will allow me the space to build the alter-reality from 1989-1996 in real time, and then let me click back into what has already been written for mid-2027. so, the period one disc is now scheduled for release at the end of 2029, the period two disc is scheduled for release at the end of 2033, the period three disc will be scheduled for release sometime in mid 2037 and the period four disc will be scheduled for release around 2041. if i make it there, i'll be 60 years old. and, no - i don't plan on actually doing much concrete over the next twenty years, except finishing the documentation of the work (and the work itself...) that i created over the first thirty.
i want to publish two more journals - 12/2013 and 01/2014 - and am hoping to have this completed by dec 1, 2019 at the latest. this will bring me to the end of the "first reconstruction period", which will produce an eventual aleph (to be unnamed and unpublished until the material from 07/2003-07/2013 is fully completed).
at that point, i will be focusing on two primary projects:
1) the alter-reality, starting in late 1989. i will have to get a journal for christmas, it seems, for me to write in, and then spend the next six years typing out. this journal will include reflections of events that i experienced over the ages of 8-15, including book reports and music reviews. all attempts will be made to be as honest as i can. but, i obviously can't revert to that state (if i ever grew past it...), and i don't want to get neurotic about it. i'm going to get neurotic about it...but i have to finally start with this.
2) i'm going to get back to work on period 3, which is going to mostly involve republishing a lot of already existing records from 2003-2007. there will, however, also be some major projects worked on - a lost symphony from 2003, a matlab project from 2004, an imaginary straight-up rock record from 2005, a groundbreaking mix of electronic noise and jazz guitar from early 2006 and some foundational new demos for early 2007, to move into period 4. i do not want to plan past the completion of period 3, at this point, which is defined as the period of time between when i got back from bc in mid-2003 and when i moved into a new apartment on bronson ave in early 2007.
period 1 is from 05/96-12/99 (3.5 years), period 2 is from 01/00-05/03 (3.5 years) and period 3 is from 08/03-02/07 (3.5 years). period 4 will run until the middle of 2011, but it is not like the first three, as there were long spaces with no recording activity at all. i was 27 in january, 2008; to an extent, period 4 is a period of slow death, even if it has some major works in it. i will be approaching the narrative from this perspective, as it occurs. and, given that my maximum expected lifespan is around 60, i may be nearing my actual death, as i get there. there was no meaningful musical activity from the middle of 2011 until the middle of 2013; i was struggling badly with existing living arrangements, as i was trying to figure out how to rebuild my studio.
so, i have the rest of my life planned out, anyways. and, these are the two things i'll be focusing on - getting the alter-realty rolling and finishing period 3. if i get back to publishing the journals from 2014 forwards, it will be in spurts, and because i'm sick or some other such thing. well, until i get close in 2025-2026, anyways. i'm actually fully confident that i'll be done period 3 by then, at least.
i don't feel the time has been wasted. i've figured out a lot of things, and i've got a process in order. this needed to eventually be done, and i'll need to eventually get back to it. the time i've wasted has been wasted fighting court battles, and that's going to continue until i can find a safe, smoke-free living arrangement. this isn't it, either.
what about all these other sites?
1) as mentioned, the bandcamp site should see the most activity in the next little while; that is my primary site, and always has been. 2) the noise trade site will see decreasing levels of activity, and that activity will be mostly related to the alter-reality, for the next long while. expect journals from 1990-1996 to be the primary uploads for the next several years. i hope they allow me to reorganize the front page, soon.
3) the patreon site is still there. if you want me to stop wasting time in court and get more productive in my art, that's the way to do it. i have yet to receive a single donation over patreon.
4) the music journal will pick up with increased activity at the bandcamp site.
5) j's journal will be the primary journal site, and will start in late 1989.
6) the alter-reality will stay dormant until mid-2027, when i pick up where i left off.
7) i'm still vlogging. i haven't stopped. i have video to edit going back to mid-2017, and will need to get to it to buiild the aleph discs. but, the focus of the vlogs was to act as a set of ads for the bandcamp site, which i drew attention to through trolling, and that didn't work out (because they shadow-banned me for being an anti-american communist). i never had any interest in vlogging for the sake of vlogging, it was always meant as a gateway. my focus on the vlogs, moving forwards, is going to be for the aleph discs, rather than for youtube. yes, things will get uploaded eventually, but probably in large chunks, and it could be a very, very long time. i wouldn't expect anything to get uploaded here until i'm done period 3, at least - it could be after 2025.
8) the koala central command will continue to try to bring their fugitive to justice, but it's not clear exactly what that means. there will be music related uploads here, as they become meaningful.
9) i don't expect to spend a lot of time on music or book reviews in the near future, and may never get to it at all. my focus on reviews is mostly a 2011-2013 thing, when i had no studio to work in. so, this is at the bottom of the list, in terms of priorities. but, review information will come up in the alter-realty.
10) the travel blog was mostly a joke to start with, and it's utilization will depend on how often i'm actually posting from a distance. anything posted to this blog will end up somewhere else, in time.
11) i'm sure i'll continue to find reasons to rant.
12) my facebook pages will continue to be useful as update lists, but little else.
13) the appspot site is not dead, but it's sleeping.
14) the viability of the soundcloud site depends on whether i can get people to let me spin or not.
15) i don't and have never used twitter. i'm not going to start.
and, let's try to get the liner notes up by the end of the day.
i had to crash this morning, but i did get the facebook stuff synced properly. so, all i have left to do is the liner notes for 000, 001, 003, 016, 027, 028 and 030.
but, it hit me last night - what am i even doing?
i tend to get stuck in things and lose track of reality. where am i going with this? what are my actual goals, here?
i wanted to get this done by 2020 because the aleph disc was closing. but, now i've put the aleph disc off to 2030 - and the first demo until 2026. so, there's no longer any hurry at all...
so, what's the point of spending the winter rebuilding these blogs, if i'm not up against a deadline (that i'll never meet)?
i just feel like i'm wasting time. i feel like i'm running out of time. if it was faster, great, but it's just taking forever. i'm lost in my own world, and spinning in circles within it.
let me get through the first reconstruction phase, which is two more months. and, then i think i'm going to want to put this aside completely, for a good while. i've got the data put aside for later. there's no rush. let me get back to real work.
which means...
1) alter-reality, starting in late 1989 or early 1990. that's 30 years ago. that will be my writing project. and, i can get this journal process moving in that direction, instead. 2) period 3. let's get to it.
i have legal stuff to do this week, first. november was slow, when i wanted it to be fast, but let's hope i can pivot and get through the last two months for december 1st. these could both end up being ~50 page music archives.
what about the smell? it's better since i woke up, but i noticed it was bad on the other side of the apartment, last night. i'm starting to think that what capping the line has done is push the gas back up through the lines in the bathroom and kitchen, and i'm wondering if that's going to balance itself out. like, does it need to find a new equilibrium point, now?
is there an issue with the fixtures in the bathroom?
but, why is the gas pulling up in the first place? i think it's crystal clear that the lines need to be snaked. and, that's probably going to be what the court date ends up being about. we'll see if it betters itself or not....
right now, it seems like i'm waiting for the system to rebalance, and i'll have to go from there. no, i don't know - i'm trying to figure this out. but, that's my deduction based on what i've observed.
when can i get back to this rebuilding process, then?
why don't i get through period 3 and see. 2025, maybe?
or, maybe i'll chip away at it here and there.
but, i need to pivot out of this. i need to do something more constructive.
right now, i need to finish these liner notes and get to the legal stuff for a few more days. so, expect reposts for the 2013 releases up this afternoon.
here is the noise trade smashwords link for the readable version of the november, 2013 archive of this blog. it's 132 pages.
the fifth
entry in the music journal series, which is the month of november, 2013
and is 132 pages long. i am not going to summarize the story, but it is
available on the web over here: musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/11/.
this is a compilation of written correspondences that occurred around me
over november, 2013. it includes facebook posts, google+ posts and
emails with acquaintances and family members, in an attempt to document
the first reconstruction phase of rebuilding my discography, including
remastering and (re)publishing inri001, inri003, inri016, inri027,
ini028 and inri029. the contents of this download are the dummy track, a
word doc file and a pdf file, both written in a more readable,
chronological ordering. i've also added the respective files for my
other three blogs, for general interest, as well as 70 separate txt
documents (all html files) that are referenced in the journal. the liner
notes for inri001, inri003, inri016, inri027, inri028 and inri029 are
also included.
the events documented in this journal occurred in november, 2013 and
were compiled into a narrative in several stages over the years
2014-2019. journal completed, released and finalized in doc and pdf
format on oct 30, 2019. doc201311.
credits
released December 1, 2013
j - editing, participant
mom - participant
the initial landlord - participant
sennheiser technical support - participant
yeah, i'm in tonight. it's a combination of things - i am actually feeling a tad better (i'm at like 95%, now), but it didn't warm up quite as much as forecast, and, despite feeling a little better, i still don't really feel like smoking anything at all tonight.
i'm kind of happy in my blanket tonight, actually, and don't really want to leave it. it happens. i'm more interested in getting through 2013 - as it will be final when i do. like, that's the end of that. forever.
i wanted to start the journal off in mid-1989, as well, and was hoping i'd already be there. but, i'm going to wait until christmas before i get antsy about it. i may do the full six months at once, and start off in 1990. or, i may get a journal for christmas and reflect back a little, just starting fresh in 1990.
i don't think i can put aside the time to live full time in my 9 year old self, so i think i'm looking at infrequent alter-reality updates for a bit, anyways. i will need to plan this out by looking at things like release dates, and trying to figure out specific life events. christmas...
i could be done november by monday, anyways. really.
for right now, the update is that the master document is entirely synced and finished. and ready to cut up. it's 350 pages, smaller than the last few, and will shrink even more because a lot of it is email relics. there's 70 html files to deal with, but i think this is the last month like that for a good while.
i also wanted to get january, 2014 done before i fire up the music pc, so let's hope i can get through this by the end of the week.
and, if i'm in for most of the winter, let's hope 2-3 days turnover time is realistic for most months. can i get to the end of 2017 by christmas?
the liberals are supposed to do better than this
Friday, October 11, 2019
so, i was out around 17:00, a little earlier maybe, and went straight to my bike. i had a few ounces of vodka left - maybe two shots. but it tasted awful, at that point. i needed mix. so, we put that away for a few minutes...
i didn't notice anything peculiar about my bike at this point; i just unlocked it and started riding north.
i had $17 and change left, out of $120 for the weekend (which is a lot more in cad).
nothing was that expensive, it just added up after a long weekend. and, remember: getting to a machine in detroit is hard. i need to deal with what i have.
i didn't budget for that extra pack of smokes, and probably wouldn't have needed it if it wasn't for the fact that i destroyed the previous one. that gets me up to $25, which is more what i was planning for, going into the dso. so, i bought a coffee instead of a beer...
cover at the post-rock show was $10, leaving me $6 + change for mix and beer, and i should say a little bit about the other show that was happening.
the initial plan was not to go to this post-rock show, with bands i was unaware of, with the exception of this local act called torus, which i had missed a few times previously; rather, the initial plan was to see a legendary psych rock act called the legendary pink dots at el club. and, if i had made it through the night with something closer to $40 than $25, i might have done that.
it was really a cost thing, primarily, i'll acknowledge that. the cover at the lpd show was $25 usd, which is about as steep as i'll ever even think about paying. i usually have a hard time, mentally, with $15. i want cover to be less than $10, usually, unless it's something spectacular. then, there's the $8 beer at el club. you'll note the cost of beer elsewhere - it's $2-$3 everywhere else. even considering that the beer at el club is 1.5 beers, you're still looking at over $5, which is like twice as much. with $25 cover, you'd better show up with at least $35 if you want to actually enjoy the night. i just didn't have it on me...
and, might lpd have been spectacular? i'm sure they were in the 80s and 90s and even a good part of the 00s. i'm a little skeptical, nowadays - and i haven't heard anything from them since the last tear garden record. they would be in their late 60s at this point, and no doubt look a lot older; i remember thinking that ka-spel was in his 70s when he was only in his 40s. so, i might have missed an awesome show, but i suspect i was a little too young for it and would have walked out feeling ripped off by a show that was a little slow and prodding for me. that's gen x, for you - always stuck between, in the glut.
i would have loved to see this band in their prime, but i think i missed it and am ok with accepting it.
they were always mid-tempo, so when i use language like slow and prodding, it's just a question of whether the edge is still there - and maybe i'm wrong, maybe it is.
so, i found this post-rock show for $10 up in hamtramck instead, and it just made more sense, in context. with the $17 i had left after the symphony, there wasn't actually a choice involved, unless i wanted to spend $10 taking out another $20 (which is closer to $30 cdn), and i didn't.
i stopped at the gas station up woodward, first, to get some mix, and was able to find a tall bottle of faygo mt dew clone for $1.20. it said it had caffeine in it; how much, wasn't clear. it did the trick. so, i'm down to $16 + change.
still no issue with the bike, heading up woodward, up grand, up oakland, over clay, past the russell and into hamtramck via the back way, which took me out to the new dodge from the south. i drove by it the first time...
cycling around a few times, i was able to find a wood post to park at, behind the store next door. i didn't check to see what the store was, and didn't think it was important. bike seemed fine when i left it there with my bag, a little before 18:00....
the kids in torus - and these are kids. really. - were out back early, hanging out in their van. they took the tool comparison as a compliment, and claimed their new material sounded like hum, which seemed like shit-talking (and turned out to be). cost of beer at new dodge: $2 on tap. so, i've got three beers left and five bands to see, and i'm hoping this works out...
the first band up was called "rags and riches" and appears to have lost their guitarist somewhere between here and kentucky, instead coming up with two percussionists and a very poppy (like, new kids on the block or backstreet boys style poppy), hip-hop oriented lead singer. there were points were they had three drummers going; the intent was clearly to make the percussion the centre of the act. i'm not sure how compelling it was, but i'd never seen anything quite like it.
i've looked for sound samples, but i can't find anything without the guitarist so you'll need to seek this out on your own.
the second act up was man mountain, and they did a type of slower moving post-rock that's become kind of standard in the genre, since some midwest kids first heard mogwai. it's that very specifically american post-rock sound that my canadian ears thinks is a little too precious and sappy. it's worth checking out as an opening band, but it's exceedingly generic, too, so you shouldn't expect to be surprised or blow away by it.
au revoir continued on, and were a little heavier, leaning more towards a pelican or caspian sound. the kids outside were talking about caspian. the effects work is maybe leaning a little towards god is an astronaut, with the spacey sweeps, but i didn't catch a synth player.
again: i enjoyed watching this perched from a bar stool after a super long night, but i like the genre, and it is generic. it's good at what it does, but don't expect any surprises out of this.
shy, low then took it up another notch, while essentially carrying on with the same basic idea. again: you pretty much know exactly what you're getting out of this before it starts.
and, torus came on at the end, and played their one 35 minute song, start to finish:
so, the sets on this night were...they were what i expected, and both a pleasant and kind of chill way to end a crazy adventure and a reminder of why i tend to avoid seeing this style of music, live. it'd been a while, it was a nice reprieve. it'll probably be a while before the next time.
i first started feeling ill on this night at around 22:00 or so, between my second and third beers at this venue.
it was early when it was done - 23:30. so, i just had to take a nice slow bike ride back to the tunnel, for 00:30. or, so i thought..
i get around the corner to my bike and realize instantly that the tire has been mangled, but i'm not entirely certain, and am still not, what was going on with it. my sweater is still in my bag, as are my empty prescription bottles, my lipstick and a few other pieces of random trash. it seemed clear that the bag had been handled, but there was no apparent effort to take anything out of it. so, what is this, then? is this vandalism? are the cops bothering me (i think they have before.)?
i tried to ride the thing down the block, and couldn't - there wasn't enough air in the tube to keep the tire on the rim. what else can i do but walk home? without rummaging through my pockets, i'm thinking that i have something like $0.50 cents on me, tops. so, i'm expecting a long walk back to the tunnel, and a long night waiting for the bus. but, there's a gas station just past the russell, on clay, maybe i can talk them into letting me try to fill it up...
i finally rummage through my pockets when i get there. the cost of air is $0.75, and i do actually have it on me. score. and, the tube seemed to take it, so i'm hoping it's enough to get home on.
i get around the corner, past grand, and ask somebody for the time: it's not yet midnight. so, as long as the tires hold, i should make it.
it got a little scary moving up woodward past the fountains at the dia, because i could feel it starting to give. but, once i got to campius martius, i knew i'd catch the bus back. and, my stomach was starting to turn on me, too - i really wanted to get home.
customs was easy, although they seem to have been expecting me. i wonder sometimes just how closely the cops are paying attention to me, as they seem to grin at me in weird ways - not unlike my dad used to, when i came home at 4:15, shitfaced, from a friend's house.
did you have a good night?
you can only weakly nod. but, i was actually pretty sober at this point, what i was noticing more was that my stomach was starting to turn.
i decide to walk my bike home. from here for the night, to ensure i'm avoiding further damage until i can get a look at it, and there's paramedics waiting around the corner. hrmmn. i'm ok, though - i just keep walking. the cops appear to follow me most of the way home, from this point. i actually think they followed me home on friday, too.
i guess they're checking to make sure i don't have any meetings with secret russian spies on the way, there. but, listen - they'd be screwed even if they caught us. we'd use the cone of silence. they wouldn't be able to hear a thing.
i dunno. whatever.
i stopped to get some nachos on the way home, but actually had to wait for my stomach to come down a bit before i could actually eat them. and, by monday night, i was convinced i'd caught strep throat and must have been dealing with the onset of it.
so, what kind of crazy weekend is this? psychedelic rock, kraut rock and noise punk on friday, followed by a grindcore show on saturday that led into a drum 'n' bass party, beethoven's 5th at the detroit symphony orchestra and a post-rock night to close it off. it's a festival weekend every weekend in detroit, if you know where to find it.
at this stage, this appears certain to be the last long weekend of the summer. so, i'm glad i made the best of it.
