i don't want to say this is taking longer than i expected, because i expected it to take a long time. but, i'm behind.

march, 2014 is when the drive crashed. i then bricked my board. i will eventually fix this with the help of a magical device that i have to mail order from asia; in the mean time, i am stopping here to do some editing and cleaning. my throat is really raw, and i think it's partially the dust (although it would help if i went out sometimes).

i know i have dedicated alter-reality fans, and i apologize for the delays, but realize that this will work out to more stability in the long run. when i get all of this data arranged properly, i will be able to quickly generate liner notes for each successive release. remember that this is happening now because i'm finishing the final liner notes for inri000.

i'm actually going to crash, it seems. and i'll be stepping away from the machine for the day when i wake up.

i now have all of the notes from 2013 up:

http://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.ca/search?updated-min=2013-01-01T00:00:00-05:00&updated-max=2014-01-01T00:00:00-05:00&max-results=50

scroll down and read up if you want the narration, i guess. or use the navigation in the side paine.

note: this will eventually be converted into a journal that is properly ordered, chronologically, and is therefore readable. but, this remains a necessary step to consolidate the data, for now.

i'm going to stop to clean up a little and get something to eat before i get back to it. but, i need to start the monthly cleaning when the sun comes up, and i'm going to do some editing while i'm cleaning, so i need to find a cut-off point.

how about this:

(1) 1/2014-5/2014  (when my motherboard was fixed)
(2) 6/2014-5/2015 (finishing period 2)
(3) 6/2015-6/2016 (predictable breakdown, this time due to interference)

i want to get (1) done before i get to cleaning in the morning. but, first i want to eat.

since i've moved to windsor, i've spent most of my time completing existing recordings. but, i have put aside a few demos for later, too. i'm just interested in sharing these, right now, so they'll be here for streaming, only. i initially had a soundcloud site for this, but i want to shut that down.

these tracks will eventually be moved out of this space, completed and placed on to singles, eps and lps for download.

i'm trapped in an algorithm.

in order to close the liner notes for inri000, i had to have the sections since 2013 included, which meant i had to distribute the vlogs into this blog. in order to do this, i'd have to import my facebook page going back to last year. but, then i'd might as well import the entire facebook page since 2013, and then cut that up for the liner notes.

it doesn't make sense to do today's alter-reality until i've finished importing that page, and it could take a few days. this is necessary to complete the period disc, and i knew it was coming. it makes sense to do it now.

it means i'm going to be bogged down with data for a bit, and just listening to what i've finished over the last few months.

here is the remaining alter-reality update to catch-up, although expect further alter-reality updates tomorrow and over the next few days.

dec 15th track:
http://therealinri.blogspot.ca/1996/12/demo-16-viewless.html

note at the end of exams:
http://therealinri.blogspot.ca/1996/12/a-little-worried-about-math-exam.html

starting christmas holidays:
http://therealinri.blogspot.ca/1996/12/supermans-dead.html

dec 22nd track:
http://therealinri.blogspot.ca/1996/12/in-completing-this-track-i-have-now.html

i'll close the record tomorrow. i'm going to be filing tonight, i guess.

these are the last two posts on the grapes of wrath:
http://therealinri.blogspot.ca/1996/12/finishing-grapes-of-wrath.html
http://therealinri.blogspot.ca/1996/12/final-thoughts-on-grapes-of-wrath.html

i still have two weeks to catch up on the alter-reality, which is going to include talking about exams and probably not much about christmas, but maybe a bit about christmas break. i'm going to release the first demo in the alter-reality on christmas day (which i think is actually true, as i remember running out of space on the 100 minute tape on christmas day and then writing liner notes while waiting for supper), which means i'm going to finally have the liner notes to close the first demo completely. so, even when i'm caught up, i'll still have a lot of writing to do. another consequence of finishing the first demo in the alter-reality is that the updates will be less regular, as i then get grounded for several months and don't get back to recording until the spring.

so, i have a lot of alter-reality work to do before i can get back to the real reality and get to finalizing the rest of period 1. but, when i do, the workload in the alter-reality should also decrease for a little while.

i finished reading the book yesterday, and then crashed hard before finishing the posts.

i got the post up for the song, yesterday:
http://therealinri.blogspot.ca/1996/12/this-is-new-song-that-i-wrote-this-week.html

i guess i'll post the rest of the posts together, when they're done.

i lost most of the day grocery shopping, but i've also managed to finish week two.

demo 14:
http://therealinri.blogspot.ca/1996/12/demo-14-mosh-pit-song.html

grapes of wrath second reaction:
http://therealinri.blogspot.ca/1996/12/the-middle-section-of-grapes-of-wrath.html

i have the first week of posts up. i'm approaching this at a leisurely rate, due to my ongoing solstice celebrations, so i don't want to criticize myself for taking my time. i'd like to operate roughly in real-time, but the final purpose of this is historical and the slow down is by design, at the moment.

this is for the nov 24th track:
http://therealinri.blogspot.ca/1996/11/its-late-on-saturday-night-and-im.html

this is for the review of the second bush record:
http://therealinri.blogspot.ca/1996/11/its-rusty-razorblade-on-that-suitcase.html

this is my initial reaction to the first third of the grapes of wrath:
http://therealinri.blogspot.ca/1996/11/beginning-grapes-of-wrath.html

i seem to have lost yesterday filing, and most of today editing. but, i am in bed and have the pdf file open.

it's 30 chapters and 300 pages. i'm going to read it in three 10 chapter chunks and then analyze it in three sections.

of course, there's also the main content of the vlog that's coming up, and i've decided to post it early sunday mornings, then do the readings on sunday afternoons.

for right now, i'm focusing on finishing the readings so i can enjoy the solstice at midnight, and then do some writing afterwards. so, expect the first collection of updates late tonight or early in the morning.

period 1.2 will not fit onto a dual layer dvd. the idea was always experimental and is being withdrawn.

i'm going to finish watching vlogs this morning, get something to eat and spend the next few days reading.

these are the shortest days of the year. i'm looking forward to the days getting longer again.

the next alter-reality update is a little bit different, as i'm thinking about how to close the first demo.

having the alter-reality online is a fun project and everything, and when it's done it will be neat to have a readable blog from the 90s (even if it's reconstructed...), but the actual purpose of the alter-reality is to write the liner notes for the early material in real-time. the entire blog will eventually be converted into the html front-end for the period disc. in the short run, it will be cut into sections and added to each bandcamp record in sequence.

the release date for inri000 is dec 25, 1996. so, i will need to have the first set of liner notes done before the new year. finding an algorithm that works and can be replicated for each successive release is going to be a process.

i need to finish generating the material, first. i've spent the afternoon planning these releases out around the steinbeck novel, which i'm going to start reading when i wake up tomorrow. i've also updated the interface on the blog to include quick links to songs and reviews.

http://therealinri.blogspot.ca/

for the rest of the night, i'm going to continue putting things in motion for tomorrow. i need to do some cleaning, and i need to take a shower. i'll be fresh in the morning.

i don't remember how long the book is, exactly, but i think it's a two or three day read. 400 pages? is that about right? i'm going to seek an online copy, so page numbers might not mean much. but, i'm going to want the first third done for the nov 24th update, the next third done for dec 1st and the final analysis for the 8th. i would have handed in an essay around the 10th or so.

fwiw, i'm sure i'm going to skip texts. but, i really can't think of anything else from grade 10.

there's also going to be a few record reviews, but the second half of 1996 was actually kind of a down point, for me. i think i spent christmas money exploring older records. that's not until next week...

i am also now finished the aleph-disc for inriched:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inriched-box-set

nothing streams from the aleph-discs. nothing.

it is not necessary to include inri026 because the idea is in the archived versions of the record. so, there's no need to reach into 1.3 with it.

facebook is not co-operating, so i'm a little slow on the timeline update. but, i'm otherwise done up to the next aleph-disc, which is where i wanted to stop and catch-up on the other things. the next few days will be spent on vlogs & alter-reality. i'm actually looking forward to the steinbeck.

publishing inri025

while the main purpose of the inriclaimed project was to remove the vocals from the records, i always intended to put a few tracks away and mix the vocals back in for an ep. this was actually factored into the logic that had me build a sequence of singles, in the first place. while there were tracks that i ruled out, i ended up mixing vocals back into most of those that i considered, constructing enough for a standalone lp.

there is no other way to get all of the vocal remixes at once. this release consequently fills an important functional gap in the discography.

this idea was developed in parallel to the inriclaimed project over the summer of 2015 and first compiled on nov 27, 2016. finalized on dec 17, 2016. lp005. as always, please use headphones.

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (2015, 2016).

credits

released January 30, 1999

j - guitars, effects, bass, synth bass, synthesizers, sequencing, drum programming, sampling, cool edit synthesis, light-wave synthesis, found sounds, noise generators, sound design, digital wave editing, loops, vocals, vocal relics, production 

finalizing inri024

when i sat down to complete my discography in the fall of 2013, one of the first problems i came up against was what to do with my first two proper records, inri (jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-3) and inriched (jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inriched). in some sense, these records were complete: they were early works, but they were complete recordings and the records were sequenced with quite a bit of detail. it would not be right to modify them in a structural sense, as they were completed as they were when they were. however, the mixes had been degraded rather substantially through compression and the vocals had a lot of problems. further, i knew the source material was incomplete, but did not actually check the master tapes to see how incomplete they were.

i decided that the best thing to do was to try and remaster them using izotope. the result was noticeably "better", and they were released in that form. i also released a compilation of shorts that focused on instrumental sections as inricycled b. however, i had to make a lot of compromises to get to that point. further, the fact that i couldn't remove the vocals continued to bother me.

i finally got around to digitizing the tapes in december of 2014, as an archival step. i did not expect to be able to do anything with this material, but i wanted it digitized to prevent the tapes from deteriorating further. what i learned through this process was that the masters were far more complete than i thought. samples and continuity were missing, but i seem to have dumped most of the sequencing and a lot of the digital noise generation. this forced me to rethink what i was able to present. i decided that if i was going to go through these tracks and recreate them then i was going to do it comprehensively, which would mean completely recreating a number of the tracks. i decided that this would be a project better left for a later date.

by june of 2015, i had made it through the discography to the end of the second period and began finalizing the aleph sequence of dvd and bd flac/mp3 compilations. i decided that the only cohesive way to present period one is as a single disc, which meant i needed to address reconstructing the tracks immediately in order to close it.

the material was digitized via the exact same tascam four-track it was recorded on to, sent out track by track. however, the material was bounced heavily when it was recorded, which means the digitized tracks generally have multiple parts. the four tracks generally exist as follows:

1) an electronics track. drum machines, synths, sequencers, loops, noises.
2) a guitars track. there are usually several guitar parts in this one track.
3) a bass track, or a synth bass track.
4) a vocal track.

unfortunately, digitizing the tracks one by one left them out of sync at a rate of around a half a second per minute, but there is no clear pattern in how they are out of sync. shifting them back in sync was a time consuming process done in cubase by importing the remastered tracks and trying to find markers in the wave files, then using a sort of "newton's method" to compress or decompress the files until they lined up with the master. this issue was compounded by the fact that the initial masters were sometimes subtly out of time. once they were shifted back in sync, the tracks had to be equalized very carefully to try and isolate the constituent parts. for example, a track with a drum machine and a synth may have been split across a high and low shelf to isolate them in the mix. with the exception of this heavy equalization work (and amp simulation for the bass parts), these songs have not been modified from their original form - except to remove the vocals.

this release has rendered the previous inri009, inricycled b, as superfluous and consequently replaces it in the sequence. it has now been moved to inri022.

i am very happy to finally be able to present this material in a form that i would find listenable, today, as an adult. this has been a very long process. i hope you feel that the results were worth the effort put into it, periodically, over many years.

initially written and recorded between 1996-1999 and remixed over the summer of 2015, with a lengthy pause due to malfunctioning electronics. final compilation date is jan 3, 2016. finalized dec 17, 2016. lp004. as always, please use headphones.

* download only

credits

released January 29, 1999

j - guitars, effects, bass, drum programming, synthesizers, sequencers, found sounds, noise generators, vocal relics, digital wave editing, sampling, production.

republishing inri023

when i sat down in late 2013, my intent was just to collect all of the tracks that were leftover. however, it became apparent quickly that i had a pile of these weird, glitchy remixes that i meant to do something with, but just never did anything with. they seemed to form an idea of their own, so i split them off into this inrimixed ep.

i feel that this decision was a good one, and that this collection has now become an important part of the discography - so much so that i am adding some tracks to it that were initially overlooked and then promoting it to 'remix lp'.

i need to be clear that this is a remix lp full of damaged, glitchy mixes. these tracks were left unscathed by the great remastering of 2013-2016. many of them are sourced from 112 kbps mp3 files, or worse. some are sourced from mono. i'm presenting the artifacts in the compression as a part of the glitch aesthetic. but, these are truly sad excuses for waveforms.

example: the cover art is actually the waveform for track 2; similarities to the mirror reflection of the cover of any seminal eponymous records from the late 60s are purely coincidental. waveforms like that do not bear any resemblance to any physical reality whatsoever. they fail, as waveforms. yet, these are the waveforms we have before us, and these are the sounds that such absurd waveforms make.

i suppose that the reason i have all of these glitchy mixes from the period is that i was planning on making a glitch lp. it's not that i specifically recall that as being wrong, so much as it is that my memories of it being right are not of clear strength. i sort of remember wanting to make a glitch record. the evidence exists that i wanted to make a glitch record. now i have the glitch record that it seems like i always wanted to make. at the least, my current self very much likes the idea that i released a glitch record in 1999.

constructed over 1998. compiled and remastered in late 2013. the first two tracks were corrected to stereo in sept, 2014. the last two tracks were added for re-release as a remix lp in dec, 2016. as always, please use headphones.

credits

released January 28, 1999

j - guitars, effects, bass, synthesizers, piano, drum programming, sequencing, vocals, cool edit synthesis, noise generators, found sounds, sampling, loops, sound design, digital wave editing, digital effects processing, noise reduction, a broken tape deck, production.

merging inri022 with inricycled b and closing inri022

this is a collection of rejected tracks from the inri/inriched period. it's just chronologically sequenced. download only.

recorded over 1998. compiled and remastered in late 2013. corrected to normalize for stereo in september, 2014. expanded incrementally between dec, 2014 and dec, 2016. merged with inricycled b and then finalized on december 16, 2016. as always, please use headphones.

this release will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (1996, 1997, 1998, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016).

credits

released January 27, 1999

j - guitars, effects, bass, bass synth, synthesizers, vocoders, octavers, drum programming, sequencers, noise generators, sound design, vocals, found sounds, cool edit synthesis, digital wave editing, loops, windows 95 sound recorder, sampling, production.

publishing inri021

the second record was always a...second record. see, the phenomenon of the underperforming second record is actually well-established. i just think it's worth thinking about what a second record actually is, in order to understand this.

a second record is necessarily the tracks that did not make it on to the first record.

i actually tried to resist this, but i was swayed by the argument (with myself) that the tracks would otherwise be lost because i was shifting in a direction away from the electro-grunge sound, and i would eventually go back and compile them anyways. i had enough raw sound for a full record, so i released a full record.

something that is common of second records is that they are uneven because the tracks are recorded at differing levels of attention. demos that were forgotten tend to get promoted without cause, while the tracks that show evidence of attention tend to seem overproduced, in comparison. in recompleting this record, i've paid attention to the uneven nature that the tracks initially existed in and taken an effort to close the gap where it was needed.

i've also removed two tracks from the initial recording due to a combination of technical and artistic incompatibilities.

while most of these songs have defined concepts underlying them, i have ejected these concepts from the final recording and left them in a series of singles, or behind altogether. i would prefer that this album be understood solely as the instrumental recording of electronic music that i am presenting it as.

written and demoed in multiple stages from 1993-1999. initially constructed in this form in feb, 1999. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reconstructed and resequenced over november and december, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016. finalized on dec 15, 2016. this is my second official record; as always, please use headphones.

the original, unaltered files are also available (along with the original 1999 cd sequence, the failed 2013 remasters and the final reconstructions) as 56-112 kbps mp3s, as i found them, on inriℵ2:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inriched-box-set

...& inriℵ4:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/merch/inri-box-set

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (1996, 1997, 1998, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016).

credits

released January 25, 1999

j - guitar, effects, bass, bass synth, synthesizers, piano, octavers, drum programming, sequencing, found sound (paper crumpling), noise generators, sound design, cool edit synthesis, light-wave synthesis, windows 95 sound recorder, sampling, mic noises, digital wave editing, loops, a broken tape deck, chance, production. 

i spent the night sitting back and listening. but, it's time now for the final updates for period 1.2.

i'd like to get back to the alter-reality soon, too. i just want to finish up to inri025, first, and then pause at the period disc.

bonus track added to inri018. audio permanently closed.

i have now replaced all of the tracks on inri021, meaning it is tentatively complete. i just need to listen to the entire record a few times, as a record, to ensure that i'm happy about these continuity choices.

i actually want to give this a few days. it's done. i just need to prove it to myself.

publishing inri020

i intended this release to be a short single to house a vocal mix of this track, the reconstructed album mix and all of the historical versions. but, it really came back to life on me when i started mixing it. as i was mixing the track, i was cognizant of the fact that it is both the last release in this string of reconstructed singles and the oldest song that i have a recording of. i felt myself coming full circle.

something that i think is actually unique to this track is that i wrote it while i was still living with my mom. that dates the track to when i was in grade 7, that is to 1993 or 1994. i was twelve or thirteen years old at the time and the lyrics very much reflect it. above all else, i felt it imperative that i maintain the innocence of the track.

the track documents a routine that was actually very formative on how i perceive the world around me. when i was even younger, around ten or so, there was a nightly routine around sunset where my mom would yell at me to go lock the door before the boogeyman came in to get us. but, she'd be a little dramatic about it. kind of a...

mom: shhh. do you hear that?
me: it's getting dark, maybe it's...
mom: it's the boogeyman! go run and lock the door before he comes in and gets us!

so, i'd get up and run to the front door and lock it, peering out to make sure there was nobody there.

i don't think i ever thought a boogeyman existed, but i didn't grow up in an affluent neighbourhood and i was well aware of the dangers of straying too far from home after night. i didn't understand much about drugs or gangs at the time, i just knew that sometimes people died of gunshot wounds outside and didn't want to be stuck in the wrong place at the wrong time. it was legitimately important to block off entrance points.

the run had a bit of a rush of adrenaline-based fear to it, because the hallway was dark. getting to the door and back could at times be a little scary.

the fear was very real; i can still feel it, if i remember back to it. it would not begin to rise until i exited the living room, but would then escalate slowly until i got to the door - at which point it would suddenly spike. this would give me an extra boost of adrenaline to get back into the living room with. it was *always* the run back into the living room that was the scariest, because you never knew if they beat you to the door, and were just waiting for you to lock yourself in and then jump on you when you're cornered.

i think that this daily experience probably underlies my heightened level of caution towards risk. i don't reject risk; i've taken a lot of risks over my life. but, i assess it pretty brutally. i seek out worst case scenarios; i plan around assumptions of failure, to ensure necessities are never interrupted for. what it taught me is that risk must be a consequence of security, and not in antagonism with it.

the original demo version, recorded in 1996, is really the only track from the first cassette that can be salvaged without alteration, however accidentally. i was trying to create an eerie lullabye, a kind of banshee song. through the cumulative process of endless modifications over many months, it ended up sounding like an unfinished progressive rock song - or perhaps a campfire song for existential nihilists. but, what i captured without realizing it at the time was that i sound like the child that i was. for that reason, i consider this version of the track to capture it's essence more accurately than the 1998 or 1999 versions did. i wanted to recapture that essence and re-apply it to the final version.

perhaps what happened with the initial recreation is understandable, in the context of what i've discovered about the track, in hindsight. at the end of 1997, i got a new four-track recorder for christmas. i had spent the entire fall programming on an ry30 that i was given to compensate for the loss of the drum kit. when you get new gear, it's first use is always experimental; i used this track as my training wheels in breaking in the new setup, and largely discarded the outcome.

the track got dropped because i'd come to hate it because i thought of it as cutesy and childish. isn't that what happens when we enter our late teens? if i look back on the initial recording and claim it's essence is intrinsically connected with my age at the time of it's recording, does it not follow that i must have despised it as i sought to define myself in opposition to my child-self?

indeed, it specifically was the vocals that i hated. so, i resolved to ruin them through deadpan and atonality and guitar effects. but, once i had done so, i did not like the outcome and rejected the track for the first record. when i recorded the vocals a second time in early 1999 to complete it for my second record, i merely toned down the concept of annihilating the cutesiness in the vocal delivery, leaving a result that is no more engaged and only arguably preferable.

i may have been experimenting with the gear when i recorded the parts, but the tapes digitized very well for the reconstruction project in 2015. there's enough space in the track to allow the modern guitar & bass & synth plugins to function almost on a clean recording. the remix process allowed me to rediscover the eerie, psychedelic nature of the track and take it closer to it's intended conclusion of constructing a feeling of empty dread and uncertainty.

on sequencing the instrumental remaster of the second record in late 2016, i decided that there was an excess of silence at the beginning of the track that needed to be cut off in order to place it into the proper flow of the record. so, i opened it up in cubase and cut the appropriate section of silence out. i was then distracted by something, and returned to the project unable to remember if i had actually cut the silence or not. in order to check, i re-imported the file. the logic is that if they are out of phase then the cut was made. this was the case, but i immediately made the connection, on playback, to the echo being representative of coming footsteps and sought to expand the idea further.

this resulted in a series of remixes that take the track increasingly out of phase, along with increasing adornments, and then climax in manipulating the speed of the tape as a supplementary effect to increase the disorientation. these were arranged into a sequence of increasing, and then decreasing, complexity.

before i went off on this tangent, i was planning on reconstructing a vocal mix with the reconstruction from tape as the base soundscape. but, all of a sudden, i now had a dozen versions to pick from. i decided that the best thing to do was to experiment. this led to me mixing several of the remixes together, which is the final instrumental out for the record.

the vocal recordings i had from 1997 were unusable, so i had to redo them. but, this was an opportunity to regain the essence of the track by reintroducing a sense of innocence to the oppressive electronics and elusive guitars. my initial plan was to use a solitary voice, but i found that it did not mix well into the same frequency range as the interlock of stereo-spectrum guitars, so i instead recorded the track multiple times and set each recording to a different space in the spectrum. this creates a natural "chorus" effect on playback that blurs the frequency and better allows the vocals to compete with the guitars. i then thickened the chorus further by pitch-shifting it up an octave, which brought in the child-like innocence that i sought for the vocals.

as i was redoing the vocal part, i rejected the track a final time. at 35, why was i singing vocals i wrote when i was 12? is this clinical? but, i followed through with it to close the circle. inri is forever done.

initially written in 1993. first full recording in 1996. recreated in dec, 1997 and again in jan, 1999. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed on july 2, 2015. remixed on july 15, 2015. reconceptualized & remixed repeatedly over november & december, 2016. finalized on dec 13, 2016. as always, please use headphones.

the album version of this track appears on my second record:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inriched

this release is compiled in the following places:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inriched-box-set
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/merch/inri-box-set

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (1996, 1998, 1999, 2013, 2015, 2016).

*download only

credits

released January 15, 1999

j - guitars, effects, bass, pick scrapes, drum kit, drum programming, digital wave editing, vocals, vocal relics, production 

the lead track is done, and so i'm posting it here:



but, i'm waiting until the write-up is done before i embed the playlist.

this version of the track is also on this compilation:

i have the instrumental mix up.


this is also the new album mix:

i crashed this morning while listening. but, i've listened to it a few times this evening and i'm still only pretty sure. i'm going to move back to the other room after i eat and hope i can get some clear listening in after midnight.

i'm also facing a question as to whether i want to replace the album mix or not. i'm going to have to take the current album mix off of the single (it's identical to the 2015 mix, except for a short pause at the beginning) to make room for the instrumental version of the vocal mix. but, do i want that to be the new album mix?

there aren't really continuity concerns. the track is an island. it's going to be down to what i think sounds better, and i'll have to do the experiment to find out.

i expect to finally finish this tonight. but everything takes longer than i think it will. soon. soon.

i have a tentative mix done. i need to eat and then revisit, but i'm fairly confident that it's finished - and that if it isn't then the necessary mods are minor. i'd expect something up before noon.

this has been another chill  <----that word is only used by retards day up to this point. i had a number of things i needed to prepare for the week. i have my own yearly christmas rituals, and i had to put a few things in order. i also watched four hours worth of vlogs. the vlog for november 15 will be published at midnight on december 14th, and i would like to hold to a precise monthly interval from this point on. that gives me plenty of space to juggle things with.

it's not what i wanted my weekend to be, but i got set off by that deleted posted at google+ which just infuriated me. youtube had an awesome ownership scheme at one point, because it assigned ownership based on what struck me as a perfectly anarchist concept of personal property. we should have ownership over our thoughts, right? if a thread is a thought, assigning ownership of the thread to the poster is ideal. i know that it was meant to fight spam, but it stumbled upon the perfect rights balance. now, i can't post at google+ without being censored by who knows who or what?

the posts magically appeared some time after i posted them. i don't know if they made it through the bureau, or they were trying to set me up as an imbecile, or whatever else. but, even the delay is unacceptable. i then got suckered into reciting as a response to clearing off the page, and i decided to see the process through.

i was deleting posts at google+ because i always saw it as temporary. i have a bigger plan to house years of commentary in a more traditional web site, and eventually move to commenting there. it's going to be the first project, post-discography. and i'm already sort of building it in the alter-reality. so, i was just using google+ as a scratch pad, with the intent to transfer it to permanent storage elsewhere.

in the end, my web design may rely on a complex, multi-usage of the blogspot site; it may essentially end up being a maze of interconnected blogs, organized by topic and date. but, in there will be a running journal of my political notes going back as far as i can, which is conceivably to the late 90s, if in fragmented form. it may end up being that journal.

the point is that it was something i wanted to do anyways.

i've been done with the editing for a few hours, now, and i've just been reading lightly. some political comments. it's all theatre.

but, the next thing to do to get the week in order is finish inri020 and inri021. it may or may not get done tonight.

another lost day? i would avoid that characterization. i did a huge amount of filing...

i actually think i needed to relax a little. i'd been freaking out for a few days and just need to chill. i worked that out through what was essentially data entry in some aspects of the discography. i tended to revert to data entry when i'm stressed...

while i was filing for boogeyman, i started to worry that i had lost consistency in dating with the first half of the sequence, so i went through to verify that things were consistent. there were several layers to this, but it is no complete. and, i really have one more track to finish to close inri20.

right now, it's the end of my day. i was up up at around 5:00 pm. i'm going to watch a few of the vlogs that i rendered, and then wake up fresh tomorrow to close.

i was up late today. it was close to 6:00 pm. i forced myself to sleep; i felt i needed it. i think that was a smart choice....

i got a smoothie. got some fresh batteries. pushed through the next batch of recitations. made some eggs. checked the news. it's 3:00 am.

looked up some stuff on hep b. there's an incubation period; if i'm showing symptoms, that actually means i must have gotten it at least six weeks ago.

i'm facing the facts: i picked up hep b in the blackout, and i'm going to be sick for a few months until it clears out. i'm going to want to avoid alcohol for a bit. i'm healthy; i should be able to fight it off.

still. ugh.

i don't want to blow another day, but i don't want to get out of bed, either. i'm going to do some filing for the boogeyman single. the timeline will update. and, maybe i'll get back to it in the morning, if i'm still up.

i spent the morning updating the interface on my blogger sites. there's links on the sides, now. this is something closer to what i what i wanted to exist at appspot, and will eventually make it's way there. it's just that blogspot is so much more convenient...

so, this is where i'm posting until they start deleting shit, again. hope it lasts.

yesterday was somewhat of a split day. i got a little bit of work done, but i stopped to sleep. ultimately, the appointment yesterday was stressful. i have no idea how i could have gotten hep b. it's not confirmed yet that i actually do, but i can't even figure out how i'd have antibodies.

i haven't had sex in roughly ten years.

the most rational thing, at this point, is actually that there was an error at the lab. it's just about the only thing that makes any sense.

i was up today around 1:30 and spent the first half of it trying to figure out how to respond. i've decided to focus on the record first, then get a full print out of the results and then research what they say a little more closely. i'll make a decision as to whether i want to take a second test afterwards.

if i am infected, i think the most likely place i could have gotten infected would be at the lab. unless roaches spread hepatitis? i think that would be news if it were true...

i haven't had sex in roughly ten years.

i got something to eat a little after four. i needed to wait a bit to get back to work, for good reasons that i will not share. i posted something to google and went to edit it. error.

what? refresh...

gone.

well, the error gave me the heads up. i copied it to clipboard. try a paste. post. refresh.

gone.

i tried this repeatedly, and it disappeared every time. what's going on?

i don't know. i know that i'm not going to post there any more. i just set up a new blogspot site, instead:

https://dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja.blogspot.ca/

but, i was also worried that other posts were going to start disappearing, so i had to clear the page off. and, now i'm going to have to spend the night reciting the posts that i cleared off...

i'll be back to work tomorrow.

another short night, tonight. why am i so tired? i don't know. but, my throat has been pretty raw the last few days. and i pooped like eight times today. it wasn't liquid, it was just really frequent. so, maybe my body is fighting with something.

that said, i could probably push myself for a few more hours. but, i want to get a few hours of sleep in now so i don't miss my appointment in the morning.

i actually tried to get the vocal mix done, but what i found was that i was singing too quietly and picking up a lot of static. it's 3:00 am. could i hit that middle point? i dunno. i'd guess i probably could, actually. but, when i say that the guy upstairs is retarded, i'm not insulting him - he is actually mentally retarded. i've picked up a few of his problems over the last few years. probably the dominant one, insofar as it affects me, is that he imagines his own torture and gets stuck in these like masochistic loops. so, if he thinks he sees a bed bug once, he'll see bed bugs everywhere for months afterwards. i'm pretty sure that the reason he has the a/c on in december is that he walked down here once in july and thought it was warm. and if he hears me once in the middle of the night, he will think he hears me every night for the rest of his life.

i can't pretend that this premise upsets me. i just don't want to deal with it.

i'll get the vocals done tomorrow afternoon when i get back. baby steps...

i initially unpublished everything because i wanted to rebuild sequentially without skipping anything or finishing anything out of order. with the imminent completion of my second record, i've now caught up to the point where i'm mostly going to be writing liner notes for the next 40 or so releases.

that is not to say that i have now comprehensively completed my discography up to 2003. that would be untrue. but, the general shape of it is clear, and further modifications will be minor. i have every reason to think that i will push through the next phase very quickly and be back to working on "new" material within a few months.

as the liner notes are incomplete, take them with a grain of salt. some of the numbers are wrong. and, in fact, some of the following numbers will change, too.

what has been republished this evening is as follows (numbers best guess until i get there):

1) deny everything sequence (2000)

inri036: let freedom ring ep-single
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/let-freedom-ring

inri037: the curious george suite ep
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/the-curious-george-suite

inri038: ignorance is bliss ep-single
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/ignorance-is-bliss

inri039: acidosis ep. symph004.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/acidosis

inri040: curious george single
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/curious-george-2

inri041: deny everything lp. fourth record. lp008.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/deny-everything 

2) jjjjjjjjjjjjjjj sequence (2001)

inri042: stuck in the... ep-single.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/stuck-in-the-middle-of-an-alley-closing-in-on-all-sides

inri043: the time machine ep-single
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/the-time-machine 

inri044: j's adventures in guitarland ep
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/js-adventures-in-guitarland

inri045: psilocybin ep. symph005.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/the-symphony-of-psilocybin-induced-madness

inri046: intersection... ep-single.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/the-intersection-of-two-identical-particles-moving-in-completely-opposite-directions

inri049: existence ep-single
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/existence

inri051: jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj lp. fifth record. lp009.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

3) cynicide/rabit/jjjjjjjjjjjjj^2 sequence (2001-2002)

inri047: cynicide ep-single
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/to-spin-inside-dull-aberrations

inri048: me, myself ... single.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/me-myself-and-the-time-i-thought-this-was-a-good-idea

inri052: the wave. symph006. lp010.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/the-wave

inri053: clarity ep-single:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/clarity

inri054: 9:46 ep-single
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/9-46-outside-the-magenta-box

inri055: time single:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/time

inri056: rabit is wolf lp. inri011.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/rabit-is-wolf

inri057: trepanation nation. symph007.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/trepanation-nation

inri058: the imaginary tour ep.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/the-imaginary-tour-demo-ep

inri060: untitled double ep single.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/untitled

inri061: la la la la single
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/la-la-la-la

inri062: jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj^2 lp. sixth record. lp012.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj-2



4) most of the ftaa sequence (2001-2004)

inri050: noise ep #1
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/give-em-hell-harry-strung-out

inri057: trepanation nation. symph007.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/trepanation-nation

inri059: noise ep #2
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/atoms-taught-to-twist-the-affected-so-low


5) start of the trivial group sequence (2002-2006)


inri061: la la la la single
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/la-la-la-la 

inri063: flying ep
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/flying

inri064: reflections (track) ep-single:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/refractions

inri069: reflections (ep). symph008:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/reflections


6) period 2 compilation sequence (2000-2003)

inri065: ry30 compilation. lp013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/electronic-pieces-in-a-primitive-style

inri066: vst compilation. lp014-015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/thru

inri067: ambient works vol 1-2. lp016-017.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/ambient-works-vol-1-2

inri068: orchestral works vol 1. lp018.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/orchestral-works-vol-1


======

yes. that's 70 releases, now. and there's still plenty to come...

slow start of the day...

after i ate last night, i sat down to figure out which version i wanted to use for the vocal mix and i ended up falling asleep. i slept a long time, too. i dunno.

but, i'm up now and i've decided that i need to mix it to the album mix for timing reasons and then experiment by listening. only way to find out.

but, i've also republished my discography in full. and i'll need a new post for that...

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/music

this is now totally updated.

the vocal mix is coming, still. and there's a final alternate mix that i'm playing with. then it's done. 

frustrating day. same list of things. ugh.

this may be all i get done today. we'll see.

and, we need another update, i think.

near the end of the day on wednesday, i decided that something had to break in the temperature down here, so i turned the heat down while the window was open. i spent the entire day thursday trying to get the thermostat in here to 15 degrees.

i just felt i needed to reset it. these electronic heaters seem to rely more on a relative concept of temperature than an absolute one, and i've come to not trust them as a result of it. you need to recalibrate scales every once in a while. i think that's the right way to think about it. and, i think it was the right choice. but the day was lost...

i had an appointment on friday and spent the rest of the day grocery shopping. so, when i woke up today, i was picking up where i left off on tuesday.

i noticed that the files were too quiet, so i increased their volumes. and, i finished a mastering decision for the seventh track. it sounds like a small amount of work, but it's actually quite large in the scheme of things.

i have re-uploaded 5, 6,7 and 11 with final mixes. i will need to re-upload 8,9,10 tomorrow or the next day. and, what remains is the vocal lead and a couple of undefined extras.

baby steps. slowly but surely. i'll get there, eventually. promise.