in fact, i'm going to be wiping this page down altogether. it will relaunch in a different context some time in the summer.

in the mean-time, i'll be continuing to vlog.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCinQSeEtF0vSN1XVhQGfwKA

29-01-2016: the return of the son of archiving

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

on second thought, i'm not going to need that other page because i'm rewinding back to 1996.

i know.

hear me out: this will give me time to prepare everything properly. and, it will allow me to construct a full alter-reality. plus, it's twenty years. round.

i know you're probably more interested in new material, and i'll be getting to it soon. 11 days before i need to figure shit out.

but, on the bright side: that's three weeks, cold turkey.

i needed an alter-reality to escape to to quit.

three weeks...

i'm making a bold move in setting all of my videos up to the alter-reality point to private. but, the reality is that i don't get paid for hits. and, it makes the presentation more thematic.

the whole thing is going to flatten out - i'm going to be wiping this page down, as well, to a point where it's only relevant in the context of the alter-reality.

things will come into focus as the history does.

this is a grand experiment. and, of course, this note will not exist forever.

i know it looks psychotic right now, but wait a few weeks and it will make sense. if you've been here up to this point, i suppose you're privy to the future in the alter-reality....

the politics page is done. kaput. deleted.

i dropped it all in temporary files, so i've got hundreds of pages to merge into the main file. but it's done...

that's two weeks, btw.

cold turkey.

it's in the two-three week window that i usually crack, although i must say this: i don't usually go that long as total, cold turkey. there's usually some kind of break in there. i might buy one of those $1.25 cigars, or maybe bum a smoke when i'm out. normally, what it really means is "two-three weeks without buying a pack".

but, this is totally cold turkey. so, it's different. and, i think i'm consequently just about there.

i guess i have about another week of data archival ahead of me. so, that will be three weeks - cold turkey. and, i can't see why i'd look back after that...

in a few hours, it'll be 13 days cold turkey - which at the very least indicates i'm serious about this.

as i previously stated, i'm in the process of collecting writing from various sources. i should get through the first phase of this today, and be over a hurdle by the end of the weekend. this *is* actually important for the period discs, even if it is writing rather than music.

so, i'm working. productively, even. really. i may even meet my feb 1 release date.

thank you for the birthday check, too

nana
I was beginning to worry you didn't receive it as I mailed it 10 days ago,so much for canada post fast delivery.I hope you are enjoying the good winter weather as we are.Hard to believe it is 6% today & even more crazy it was 16% on xmas day.I hope all is well with you,we miss you.luv nana. 

jessica
i quit smoking cold turkey on the 9th, and have actually only been outside once since (to get groceries). in fact, i've basically been bed-ridden for the last two and a half weeks. i'm very serious about it this time, so i'm just restricting myself to zero-stress activities like reading and typing. i think i should be able to get out of bed at about the month point. so, it may have sat in my mail box for a few days...

nana
 Good for you I am very glad to hear you are quitting,not only for your health but also it is such a waste of money.I have recently switched my services from rogers to bell,mostly because of the fees.I am saving $90.00 per month so not small change!I hope you are up & about again now.I had to buy a new printer & got a different brand'' Epson'', I really wished you were here to set it up for me,as you know how lame i can be around electronics.your mother came over to do the job & got everything running smoothly.When you get to be my age technology becomes a problem.Must run now, Leo is picking me up to go shopping.Bye Bye.

it's interesting to look at the watch stats and build patterns. it gives you a little bit of data to compare to what you read about the world, regarding economic development.

for example, almost all of my hits from sub-saharan africa (not including south africa) are from nigeria or kenya. that's consistent with what you read in the papers.

something else that's interesting is that turkey clearly clusters with the eu: i have hundreds of hits from turkey, and almost none in arab countries (egypt is the highest). israel is somewhere in between europe and the arab countries.

i'm getting nothing from central america. and, the uk is kind of a special case because it's english speaking (i'm also getting a lot of hits from australia). but, broadly speaking, and especially if you take out the g7 countries, south america and europe are more or less interchangeable in terms of hit counts. and, the reality is that this is broadly true in terms of the strengths of their economies, as well.

i supposedly have zero hits from china and 41 hits from taiwan, although i know that's not actually true.

it's been a week, now, without smoking. i have a lot more work to do in breaking the page apart - although i think i may be over the hump by the time the sun comes up. this process may take another week. but, i'm ok with this.

14-01-2016: talking out loud about not smoking while doing laundry - and alter-reality re-approach

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

i'm feeling like i could probably get back to work - and i'm done smoking. that's five and a half days; a week, saturday afternoon. cold turkey. zero. and i have no urge to smoke. but, i want to really get over this this time...i am very serious about it, and that's a different scenario than previously, when i was forcing myself to quit for financial reasons without really seriously wanting to...

i'm also convinced i've got at least a few years left. i wasn't convinced of as much this time last year. it's ultimately that odsp extension that is going to put me in the right headspace to quit smoking.

so, i'm giving myself however long it's going to take to get all of my scattered writing into a single word document. this is going to require some scouring. and it may take a few weeks.

it puts other things on hold, and that's fine. they've been on hold forever, anyways. and, it's simply more important to me to make sure i'm getting over the smoking, for right now.

on top of that, i'm going to be integrating the unveiling of the web site with the alter-reality. my earliest ramblings were in early '98 - where the alter-reality is - although i don't know how much i'll be able to find until early '99. a true period disc would actually even integrate the relevant rantings, and i will try to work in as much as i can.

it will take some time to pull it all together, but it will operate the same way that the other alter-reality does. i'll set up an rss feed. it will literally update the site on a daily basis, relative to this date 18 years ago.

i think that's the best way to approach to this mountain of data. but, it means ordering it, first. i'm currently over 2,000 pages of scattered commentary, and the truth is i'm just getting started piecing it together.....

first up is actually closing down the facebook page. so, expect my facebook present to revert back to cv status relatively shortly.

13-01-2016: further thoughts on the physical effects of not smoking

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

i waited a few days, and nobody's said it so i'll say it: this track strikes me as a sardonic reflection on end-of-life literature.

discuss.

i'm caught up. regularly nightly uploads one week behind will resume tomorrow at midnight.

so, i've got my 96+ hours of non-smoking in and, while i'm still sore, i think i could maybe get back to work tomorrow.

this has to be final. smokers have a tendency to claim they're quitting. but this really has to be the end of it.

i started editing the dec 19th vlog on the afternoon of the 11th. i'm rendering the jan 12th vlog right now. so, that's a good three days straight of editing for three and a half weeks. meaning i could maybe edit a week in a day? a lot of them were short. but, it means i'm caught up until next week, now....

i don't want to ever waste three days editing vlogs again. but, i think it actually helped keep my mind distracted.

i'm getting bursts of awakeness. i don't know. i may need another day or two. if i do, i'll take it. i'm willing to take my time with this right now and wait until i'm ready.

12-01-2016: estrogen increase, 35th birthday & total apartment cleaning

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

11-01-2016: like a dead man walking (the next day)

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

switching to skaters in the alter-reality

it's switching over to jan 12 in the alter-reality, meaning that the following release is happening along with the update to the front panel:

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/skaters

i've been almost two days without smoking, now. a confluence of things has led me to stopping...i'm late by the calendar date, but i'm early in my own mental flow chart.

there's a lot of things i should stop and do before i get back to work. catching up on the vlogs is one of them.

so, expect a bit more than two weeks of vlogs to come up over the next few days.

reacting to the last bowie record

so, we're in need of some clear thinking, here. that's my role.

this neither belongs in the list of bowie's masterpieces nor in the list of bowie's catastrophes. rather, it's comparable to one of his stronger but lesser known works - like station to station, or black tie white noise. that means it's enjoyable, especially for fans, but not groundbreaking or timeless. it is not likely to generate long-term interest outside of his fan base, but one must also note that his fan base is of many disparate ages.

it's a little dated, at points. there's some recycling; lazarus sounded better the first time, as i would be your slave. there's some mistakes - he probably should have dropped the second track altogether. but, all in all, it gets a decent and at times strong B. which, like i say, allows it to float in that ether that is just below his classics, without ever falling into the deep chasm of his worst catastrophes.

i hope to finish my discography in the next 24-36 months and get to my historical reviews. i've been thinking that i want to begin the process with dead artists - that is, artists with closed discographies. i may have a surplus to choose from.

rip david bowie

bowie's death is kind of a complicated thing.

up until a few days ago, i think it was reasonable to conclude that bowie - the artist, rather than the person - died roughly fifteen years ago. then he releases a decent - if not outstanding - record a few days before he actually dies, as an individual. so, it's a process of him coming back to life as much as it is a process of him dying. simultaneously.

i'm just sort of confused, i guess. blind-sided. i didn't get the undertones in the blackstar video - i thought he was just capitalizing on witch house. they're clear, in hindsight. i kind of knew it was probably going to be his last worthwhile recording, or at least the beginning of a last worthwhile phase. but, i didn't see anything as imminent.

bowie was one of the older boomers. he didn't make it quite to 70. but, let us realize that there are many people that are crossing over that milestone in the next few months, or have in the last few.

i've talked about this before: people are going to start dropping like flies over the next few years. call it a parade, even. the boomer death parade! the final last hurrah! they're talkin' 'bout their generation...

seriously, though. there's going to be prominent people that had wide footprints dying on a weekly basis, starting some time relatively soon. historical music fans are going to get hit over the head with it like a sack of black death. it's just going to be this brutal succession of death - mostly from cancer. and, we're going to wake up from it after however long it is - 12, 18, 24 months - in a drastically different musical reality.

the past will soon assert itself as the past.

10-01-2016: finalizing the reconstruction of my first record & day one of not smoking

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-3

publishing inri (inri015)

my first record has been constructed without lyrics. yikes.

this is the new inri011.

up until this point, i always considered this record to exist within my "training wheels" phase. i was off the trike. and i was riding by myself in spurts. but i was falling down a whole lot.

it is now out of that pile and firmly in my "serious works" list. and that feels very good, after all these years.

i'm going to need to break for a few days to de-nic.

==

it took eighteen years and multiple attempts at a construction, but this record is finally permanently completed as an instrumental electronic work and i am finally proud to refer to it as my first record.

while most of these songs have defined concepts underlying them, i have ejected these concepts from the final recording and left them in a series of singles. i would prefer that this album be understood solely as the instrumental recording of electronic music that i am presenting it as.

written and demoed in multiple stages from 1994-1998. initially constructed in this form in june, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reconstructed and resequenced jan 6-10, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016. re-released on jan 10, 2016. this is my first official record; as always, please use headphones.

credits:
j - guitars, effects, bass, synthesizers, drum programming, orchestral & other sequencing, sampling, vocal relics, cool edit synthesis, windows 95 sound recorder, found sounds, strategies, soundraider, hammerhead, sound design, metronome, digital wave editing, production

the rendered electronic orchestra includes piano, organ, electric guitar, orchestra hit, pizzicato strings, synth pads, violin, viola, cello, contrabass, electric bass, sitar, tubular bells, tinkle bells, synthesizer effects and flute.

released june 20, 1998

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-3

about a squirrel (final album mix)

initially created in 1997. remastered from source and resequenced on jan 10, 2016.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/about-a-squirrel

i'm down to one more track, and i don't think it will be very much longer.

i had to stop early last night because the signal was strange, and what i've worked out was that the tinfoil managed to kill the field on the actual phones. i let it sit last night to "recharge". this actually worked.

i've just eaten, and wasted some time checking concert listings. i do think it's fine, now, and it shouldn't be much longer. we'll see.

i need a sufficiently strong low end for the track to segue, as it's between two very bass-heavy tracks. that doesn't seem to want to transfer to the laptop. but, i know the laptop has poor speaker reproduction on the low end. i need the phones to be functioning properly to finalize this.

i've decided i can't wait any longer to quit smoking, too. i've been pushing it back a few days for months. "when i'm done this project". but, i'm increasing my estrogen dosage on wednesday so i have to cut it off before then.

that means i might have to lose a few days. it's fine - i'm caught-up past the rewind, and it can't be too long before i de-nic. it's usually about three days. i'm already past the first one.

but, i think i may spend the next two or three days cleaning, instead.

swim (final album mix)

initially created in 1998. remastered from source and resequenced on jan 10, 2016.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/swim

i feel much better now (final album mix)

initially created in 1998. remastered from source and resequenced on jan 10, 2016.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/i-feel-much-better-now

think (final album mix)

initially written in 1996. recreated in the spring of 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed june 29, 2015. corrected to control for malfunctioning electronics on nov 26, 2015. sequenced on jan 10, 2016.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/think

09-01-2016: actually quitting smoking

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-3

skaters (final album mix)

initially written in 1997. recreated in jan, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 1, 2015. resequenced jan 9, 2016.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/skaters-2

catchin’ up (final album mix)

initially created in 1997. remastered from source and resequenced on jan 9, 2016.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/catchin-up-2

war (final album mix)

this segue was also more time consuming than i expected, and i have to interject a few words about it. i want to point out that the unmodified version is still available on inrisampled - along with multiple remixes elsewhere. i'm tempted to put together a little ep, even.

sample art is what it is, and i do have a level of respect for it. because christianity is stupid. and communism is good. you can get a lot across through the form, and it can be as valid a means of musical expression as anything else. but, it can also be cringey if it's too heavy-handed. there's plenty of sample art in my discography, and quite a bit on this record even, and i'll stand by it against any criticism. i may be using existing sources of sound, but these are clearly my own creations.

the reality is that all music is created by recombining existing sound. i didn't invent the big muff, the minor chord or the guitar, either. nobody's going to get on me about recombining existing sounds in that context. it's just ludditism to treat technology as something distinct.

but, the version of this particular track that was initially on this record was a little too heavy-handed in the introduction. now, there was a thematic unity to it - it was meant to represent serenity, and was then smashed through by a goofy drum beat meant to represent war. the calm before the storm sort of thing. further, i *did* orchestrate it a little with backwards windows 95 samples (thank you, mr. eno). it wasn't a straight lift from...

.... i don't even know where it was from. bambi? the simpsons, maybe? i had a bunch of simpsons samples on my computer, because i had downloaded them from like a geocities site or something. i have to suspect that's what it *actually* was - some disney-themed simpson's skit.

but, it opens me up to some problems. i don't think it was a bad choice, in context. but, what i'm doing right now is pulling this record out of my kiddie pile (which is now restricted to those earliest 96/97 demos) and putting it in my collection of polished works. and, the idea is not sitting right with me at this point to put something that lifted in the center of the record.

so, i spliced the track up in a way that is similar to something i would have done at the time and have used that cut-up sample collage in replace of the reorchestration.

i've also brought the guitars back in, because i can. i kept them out more out of pragmatism than artistic intent. completing the record properly means bringing them back in.

so, i've got 11 & 12 up, now. progress. i really don't think that the next few will take nearly as much time to sequence, but we'll find out.

initially created in 1997. abandoned in 1998. reclaimed dec 8, 2014. rebuilt and resequenced on jan 9, 2016.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/war-2

02. working through the environmental field (dvd 2)

08-01-2016: rebuilding segues for my first record

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/a-psycho-kills-a-cow
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/war-2
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-3

i AM still vlogging. i just wanted to catch up to the end of my period one discography before i sat down to edit. and, the scope of what i'm doing keeps expanding. which makes that process longer and longer. it's now going to take a few days to catch up. that's fine; i'm also in the slow process of getting around to quitting smoking, and that will be a good quitting smoking project (along witha few other things i've put aside).

i think i can finish what i'm doing by the end of the weekend at the latest sort of thing - it may even be done today, and will probably be done tomorrow. then, i'll sit down and work it out.

but, it will need to wait until i am done...however long that takes...

when i get there, i'll be uploading videos in relatively rapid succession. so, i guess you're looking at about two weeks coming up over two or three days.

i just posted it, but the new version of this is here:

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/on-sexual-confusion-in-adolescence

the alter-reality updates for the next six months are going to seem like i'm repeating myself, because i am, but it's a little different - i now have the supplementary material available, and i'm now in sync with the calendar date. and, interestingly, 1997/1998 was the last super el nino, too.

it was fuck the dead that was finished on jan 9, 1998. but this is the file i can use. it will be only be up for a few days.

switching to fuck the dead in the alter-reality

i'm moving forward again in the alter-reality tonight, and documenting the following track - although i've posted obligatories fairly recently and will not do so again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJ-_rMcOPD0&t=15m50s

nope (final album mix)

originally created in april, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 4, 2015

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/nope-4

useless (final album mix)

recorded in jan, 1998. reclaimed june 29, 2015. remixed july 2, 2015.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/useless

a psycho kills a cow (final album mix)

so, this insane little tune actually took me all day to remaster.

the highest quality source i have for this is a 56 kbps mp3 from oct, 1997. but, here's the thing: it was constructed almost entirely from 8-bit samples. the only exception is the vocal croak at the end, which i took in at your normal 16-bit level with a mic into the back of the pc.

there was actually a lot of detail to pull out of it. and, it's consequently actually an exquisite speaker test. if you can hear multiple channels of sound, you have a pretty good speaker setup.

my laptop totally fails. even through the bassy phones, strangely. there's some sub frequencies going on down there - try it through a subwoofer. but, be careful with the volume to start...

the first ten tracks have now been replaced. i believe that 12, 14, 16 and 18 will require no editing. the other segues (11,13,15,17,19) are in an undetermined state. i will have to do something or other with all of them, or they'll no doubt sound flat in sequence. but, it may just be a question of running them through the izotope patch for the song before or after them.

i dunno. i know i wanted this done yesterday before lunch...

it can't be too much longer, though.

initially created in 1997. remastered from source and resequenced on jan 8, 2016.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/a-psycho-kills-a-cow

schizoid (final album mix)

initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 12, 2015 & reprogrammed on dec 31, 2015. corrected and remixed on jan 3, 2016. sequenced jan 5-8, 2016.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid

abusive (final album mix)

initially created in june, 1998. remastered from various sources on jan 5, 2016. sequenced jan 8, 2016.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/abusive

mwp (final album mix)

initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed june 29, 2015. corrected nov 19, 2015. sequenced jan 5-8, 2016.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/mwp

confused (final album mix)

initially written in 1997. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 5, 2015. remixed july 12, 2015. electronics added on july 16, 2015. sequenced jan 6-8, 2016.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/confused

symphony #0 (final album mix)

written june, 1998. reimagined june, 2001. slightly rearranged and re-rendered at the end of july, 2014. rearranged again at the end of may, 2015. remastered from the 2014 & 2015 sources on jan 6, 2016. sequenced on jan 8, 2016.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/symphony-0-3

fuck the dead (final album mix)

originally created in jan, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed on july 5, 2015. expanded on jan 3, 2016 & sequenced jan 6-8, 2016.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/fuck-the-dead

the phantom of the opera (final album mix)

recorded in 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. remastered from various sources on jan 6, 2016. sequenced jan 8, 2016.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/the-phantom-of-the-opera

i did your mom (final album mix)

initially written in 1994. first full recording in 1996. recreated in mar, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed on july 18, 2015. sequenced jan 6-8, 2016.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/i-did-your-mom

a sickening obsession (final album mix)

initially written & recorded in 1997. re-recorded in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. remastered from various sources on jan 6, 2016. sequenced jan 8, 2016.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/a-sickening-obsession

07-01-2016: on sexual confusion in adolescence

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/i-did-your-mom-2
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/fuck-the-dead-3
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/on-sexual-confusion-in-adolescence
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-3

publishing on sexual confusion in adolescence (inri013)

i have added a modified vocal reconstruction to the front of this ep and the 2013 remaster to the end of it, as a download only. that closes the ep.

i'll be permanently resequencing the first record next, but i need to get groceries this afternoon while it's nice, first.

==

this was not initially constructed as a standalone work, but it became one almost the moment that it was constructed. there was always an intent to combine the sexuality themed tracks together at the front of my first record, but the initial idea was something more like frontloading the disc than building a cohesive work. it just happened to build itself up that way, and was truly apparent as such on the very first listen. even the phantom of the opera cover in the middle of the track became topical in a sort of subversive way.

i first broke the piece off into a standalone file in the spring of 2014 as a mirror image to the sequence that ends my second record, which actually *was* consciously written as a single work all the way back in 1996 (and appears that way at the end of the very first demo tape). i thought that if the second record was going to have an epic then the first should as well. as the first six tracks had long been a subset in my mind, this was a natural thing to do. the title of the track was first published as an upload to youtube in mar, 2014 on the deathtokoalas channel, which is now deleted.

i did not initially number these tracks as symphonies due to their incorporation of childish vocals, although i had planned to include them on any symphonic compilation discs, nonetheless. i saw them more as proto-symphonies - or just as beginner epics, where i was finding my feet but ultimately still working out ideas.

it wasn't until i finished reclaiming my 1998 demos from tape at the end of 2015 that i realized that i could resequence my first two records from scratch and republish them as instrumental works. the ability to reclaim these two epics as instrumental works, and consequently as full symphonies, followed as a corollary of this. it was consequently not until january, 2016 that i finally elevated the instrumental reconstruction of this recording to the level of my first official symphony, which is where it will now exist into perpetuity: eternally, finally.

the focus in reconstruction was to erect a final version rather than conform to the original mix, so later versions were prioritized over earlier ones. the first through fourth sections are very similar to the original album mix, whereas the fifth and sixth sections have been replaced with expanded mixes.

once the instrumental version had been constructed for the record, i felt i had lost something by removing the vocals - or at least some of them. in the context of the improved master, i felt an edited vocal take could actually elevate the symphony to a different and surreal level, if presented in the right context. this context could not be on the record, though, which had to be fully instrumental. instead, i decided to place the vocal reconstruction as a standalone single, with the instrumental as a flip side to it.

this is an incredibly dense piece of music that i'm proud to finally place in the serious part of my discography.

written and demoed from 1994-1998. initially constructed in this form in june, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. sequenced on jan 6-7, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016. released jan 7, 2016. this is my first symphony; as always, please use headphones.

section one: initially written & recorded in 1997. re-recorded in 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. remastered from various sources on jan 6, 2016.

section two: initially written in 1994. first full recording in 1996. recreated in mar, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed on july 18, 2015. sequenced jan 6, 2016. vocals added on jan 7, 2016.

section three: initially written by andrew lloyd webber. recorded in 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. remastered from various sources on jan 6, 2016.

section four: originally created in jan, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed on july 5, 2015. expanded on jan 3, 2016 & sequenced on jan 6, 2016. vocals added on jan 7, 2016.

section five: written june, 1998. reimagined june, 2001. slightly rearranged and re-rendered at the end of july, 2014. rearranged again at the end of may, 2015. remastered from the 2014 & 2015 sources on jan 6, 2016.

section six: initially written in 1997. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 5, 2015. remixed july 12, 2015. vocals and electronics added on july 16, 2015. sequenced on jan 6, 2016.

credits:
j - guitars, effects, bass, synthesizers, vocals, drum programming, orchestral & other sequencing, cool edit synthesis, sampling, found sounds (washing machine), metronome, digital wave editing, production

the rendered electronic orchestra includes piano, electric guitar, orchestra hit, pizzicato strings, synth pads, violin, viola, cello, contrabass, electric bass, tubular bells and flute.

released june 6, 1998

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/on-sexual-confusion-in-adolescence


1) written and demoed from 1994-1998. initially constructed in this form in 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. sequenced on jan 6-7, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/on-sexual-confusion-in-adolescence-2


2) this is also the opening sequence (the first six tracks) of my first official record. written and demoed from 1994-1998. initially constructed in this form in 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. sequenced on jan 6, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/on-sexual-confusion-in-adolescence-instrumental


3) deleted 2013 remaster of the opening sequence of the first record. written and demoed from 1994-1998. initially constructed in this form in 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/on-sexual-confusion-in-adolescence-2013-remaster-of-1998-cd-mix-2

4) deleted original 1998 opening sequence of the first record. written and demoed from 1994-1998. initially constructed in this form in 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/on-sexual-confusion-in-adolescence-original-1998-cd-mix-2

fuck the dead (vocal reconstruction)

originally created in 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. finally reconstructed in the summer of 2015 and extrapolated upon over the first half of 2016.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/fuck-the-dead-3

publishing i did your mom (inri009)

this is the final version of something i'd been playing with since about '94 or so, and by this time the track had become something that was beyond absurd. in a way, this is the culmination of everything i did in this period. it's the central track of my inri years: it's both the first thing i spent any time seriously writing and the ultimate realization of the musical ideas i was exploring. it's the longest track on the first demo. the drum programming is deep, there's an orchestration through sequencing, synth parts in the background, lead guitar work coming to the forefront - it's everything thrown together at a coherent level, really for the first time.

that this is the central track of this period maybe demonstrates how ridiculous i was and how ridiculous my musical vision was. maybe it also demonstrates just how young i was.

the remaining tracks in this period sort of pivot after this.

i should be clear: this is pretty much the most terrible song that you could possibly imagine existing, and that was kind of the intent. the shock value is entirely up front. but at the same time, it's just so terrible that it's kind of funny, and that was entirely intended as well.

you could maybe say something about how somebody like alice cooper ripping live chicken heads off in the middle of a performance is just about the most tyrannical thing you could imagine somebody getting away with on stage. it's just *so* ridiculous, that you can't help but laugh - even as you're horrified.

it's a phase a lot of teenagers go through. i guess the difference between me and a hundred thousand other kids is that i was exploring it through composition.

-

now that i'm an adult, this isn't something i would write or promote. yet, i sort of am by uploading it. the interest here is to document the existence of a troubled child. well, and to document myself - i was that troubled child.

the history of the track is perhaps a little less obnoxious than may be suspected. i was actually being taunted by somebody in the eighth grade. that person had never met and never would meet my mother. it's just a remark that young boys make. freudian analyses aside, i don't think there's really that much conscious thought put into it.

my decision to write a song about it was half a joke and half a response to being teased. i listened to and feigned laughter at a lot of oppressive jokes when i was younger; to an extent, i regret not speaking up, but i can state with honesty that i never felt comfortable taking part (now, self-deprecating humour, often of a sexual nature, is another thing). this reaction, on that "fuck you" level, shouldn't provide for any specific discomfort.

however, the fact that i explored the topic in a deeper level of depth than my taunters did perhaps might, and perhaps should. i need to bring you back to my aims in recording this early demo: i was trying to be as disturbing and shocking as i possibly could be. my taunters provided me with a particularly disturbing subject matter to explore, and i took full advantage of that.

this track is certainly disturbing and certainly shocking. success? well, i guess. looking back, i've always been torn between regret and satisfaction. i still am...

initially written in 1994. first full recording in 1996. recreated in mar, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed & remixed on july 18, 2015. released jan 7, 2016. as always, please use headphones.

credits:
j - guitars, effects, bass, vocals, drum programming, drum kit, synths, sequencers, sampling, digital wave editing, production

released march 20, 1998

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/i-did-your-mom-2


1) deleted original 1996 mix. initially written in 1994. first full recording in 1996.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/i-did-your-mom-original-1996-mix-2

2) deleted 1998 original, unsequenced mix from 112 kbps mp3. initially written in 1994. first full recording in 1996. recreated in mar, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/i-did-your-mom-1998-archived-112-kbps-mp3-2

3) deleted 1998 cd mix. initially written in 1994. first full recording in 1996. recreated in mar, 1998.

4) 2013 remaster of 1996 demo cassette. initially written in 1994. first full recording in 1996. remastered in 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/i-did-your-mom-2013-remaster-of-1996-demo-mix


5) deleted 2013 remaster of 1998 demo cd. initially written in 1994. first full recording in 1996. recreated in mar, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/i-did-your-mom-2013-remaster-of-1998-cd-mix


6) version reconstructed in 2015 from tape. initially written in 1994. first full recording in 1996. recreated in mar, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed & remixed on july 18, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/i-did-your-mom-2015-instrumental-reconstruction-from-1998-source-tapes


7) initially written in 1994. first full recording in 1996. recreated in mar, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed & remixed on july 18, 2015. vocals added and sequenced on jan 7, 2016.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/i-did-your-mom-4


8) initially written in 1994. first full recording in 1996. recreated in mar, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed & remixed on july 18, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/i-did-your-mom-electronics-only-mix-cut

i did your mom (vocal reconstruction)

so...

i initially wanted a separate option to get this stuff without vocals, and was willing to leave the records as they were, as historical documents. so, there was no reason to mix in the vocals. after listening to how stark the difference is in quality, i cannot do that. and, if i'm going to reconstruct the records, i'd rather reconstruct them as instrumentals. that would mean there would be no vocal versions, except as badly mixed outtakes.

but, what i'm reconstructing as my first symphony loses context when you strip the vocals out - it's an interesting 36 minutes of music, but the thematic unity that made it a coherent piece of music is gone. so, i'm mixing the vocals back in to that 36 minute piece and releasing it on the ep.

sort of. i'm cutting some of the vocals out. there's just enough left to maintain the purpose of the piece.

.... which means i now have a vocal mix of 'mom' to put on the single, which i hadn't previously wanted to do - but which now makes sense.

see, deductions follow from assumptions. when assumptions change, deductions change. logic is actually quite a fluid system of thought. i went through a phase when that soured me on it, but i've come to appreciate it's defect as an asset.

i've taken out the vocals for the second half of the verses and the bridges, leaving only various statements of "i did your mom". this is self-censorship. it's less due to the fact that it's graphic or offensive, and more due to the fact that it's just weak. i mean, it was always meant to have this sort of detached, dark humour to it, but it's just....it's not very sophisticated. words were chosen because they rhyme. in hindsight, it comes off as less egregious on a social level and more egregious on a maturity level.

this will drive the symphony, and that is the intent. this add to the single is really just in the name of being thorough.

initially written in 1994. first full recording in 1996. recreated in mar, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed & remixed on july 18, 2015. vocals added and sequenced on jan 7, 2016.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/i-did-your-mom-2015-full-reinterpretation-from-1998-source-tapes

i'm just going to point out that this discography update is discarding most of my youtube uploads of tracks dated over 1998 to the status of outtakes. to be more precise, they're now all discarded mixes.

i'm not that upset about this. i'm using youtube as an advertising platform - which is basically all it really can be used for. if i had ads on, i'd have something like $30 in my pocket from the 30,000 hits i've bit and clawed for over the last two years. it's impossible as a revenue source.

so, basically, it now means that most of my ads for music from that period are low quality versions of the final products, which are only available at bandcamp.

in fact, the change i'm going to make moving forward is that i'm going to stop uploading high quality tracks. what's here is here. but, i'm basically giving it away - and it's not as effective of a portal as i hoped it would be. i think i'm better off doing something like this, which is floating a tease and giving people a good reason to exit the site.

i was online young. to me, the internet is actually the internet. but, i know that to a lot of people that tuned in after 1998, and especially after 2005, the internet is two or three safe sites and a giant mass of scary. it may strike some as kind of hilarious to think people are actually afraid to leave youtube. but, i know this is the actual truth. what if they get a virus? this is seriously how people approach exiting the troika of google, facebook and twitter.

so, i need more push factors along with more pull factors.

but, this is really a huge overhaul. i've uploaded a bunch of singles already, but the actual replacement of files is just seriously getting started this afternoon. the increase in sound quality is immediately apparent. but, i don't want to disturb the algorithm i've got set up. and, as stated, i really want to be pulling people off of youtube, rather than holding their attention here.

i know there's some possibilities in the "google play" store, but i don't like the idea of streaming as a business model. the majors may see some value in this, and it may end up being the default way to get old catalog items like a pink floyd or led zeppelin record for the near future. but, it's just not going to be the way that independent artists work. that has to be something closer to a bandcamp model.

i mean, i guess if i thought i could pump out a hit single, i'd change my mind a little. but, i'm dealing with a more specialized audience. fuck, you can't even really listen to this stuff properly unless you have an audiophile set of headphones, y'know? i'm not aiming for a teen-pop market. i'm really aiming for an adult contemporary market that only bleeds marginally into a younger audience. file next to autechre, kind of thing.

real music fans already know that they have to get outside of the default channels to find what they like. the reality is that the discerning music fan isn't going to be any more likely to find what they're looking for through spotify or google play or whatever else than they ever have been by listening to the radio or watching mtv. the streaming services can be the next gen radio. they can't be the next gen independent music store, too.

indie artists just won't buy into something where they don't get paid. they will find their own distribution channels. and their fans will follow them.

that's why youtube is so bizarre - it breaks that apart. i don't know how long it will last for. but, i need to kind of clue-in to what it actually is, too, and start using it more appropriately.

so, yeah. these files are now all deprecated. and, i'm not going to replace them. i'm just going to put up links to the current versions.

06-01-2016: reconsidering my first record

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/nope-2
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/on-sexual-confusion-in-adolescence-2
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-3
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/i-did-your-mom-2

yeah. this needs vocals for the ep.

see, the logic is shifting - now that i have an instrumental record, i'm less freaked out about vocals on the singles and eps.

the instrumental version will be sequenced second. i need to eat. but that's after lunch....

prematurely publishing on sexual confusion in adolescence (inri013)

this one dates to june 6, 1998. the files were completed on june 4, 1998 but i no doubt did not sequence the record until later. this date is actually very consciously chosen to position it after a 20-minute sample collage i completed on june 5, 1998. that will allow me to renumber this piece as my first symphony without strange ambiguity.

the truth is that it is neither clear when i finished the sample collage nor when i completed sequencing this recording.

what this is is the first six tracks from the first record, as the first record will appear shortly.  there was intent from the start to combine the tracks that were about transgressive sexual thoughts: rape, necrophilia and self-mutilation. the phantom cover was actually topical. it was all entirely fictional, of course. and, all the vocal content has been stripped out - for now, at least. i may work it back in for this release and flip side it...

the point is that this was conceived of as a song suite when i was making it back in 1998. i've long considered it a sort of proto-symphony, but the recording was just too terrible to allow into my symphonic series. that's been fixed...

...and it is therefore the new symphony one.

tracks one and three were remastered from the cd tracks. tracks two, four and six were rebuilt from source. tracks five and six feature substantial updates to the core of the tracks.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/on-sexual-confusion-in-adolescence-2

publishing nope (inri011)

so, i''ve uploaded the last single from the first record. this is the new inri009.

this is the second and last vocal track from the period that really had any actual meaning to me on a personal basis - rather than as a political commentary, or from the psychological perspective of a character or even just randomly thrown together nonsense. in fact, it's the only real reason i'm putting this single up. that's different than any of the others.

this is also going to be the only single that didn't have an earlier demo version. i actually wrote this one in 1998. as such, it's actually one of the last conventional "songs" that i ever wrote.

the logic here is sort of complex. i was initially content to leave the vocal version on the record. but, now that the record is purely instrumental, i want a vocal version available - therefore a single must exist. but, i'm also toying with the idea of splicing some vocal parts up and releasing them on a separate ep. i wouldn't have previously wanted to do that, because the vocal versions were on the record...

if this happens, it will be at the absolute end of the sequence, so i'm not thinking about it right now. the single will continue to exist, regardless.

==

it's often remarked that there's a fine line between genius and idiocy. it's less often remarked that there's an equally fine line between wisdom and depression.

in early 1998, i was generating quite a bit of concern about my mental well being. ironically, i think this actually coincided with a period of very rapid mental development and maturation. i kind of just went to sleep one night as an immature teen and woke up the next morning as an overmature young adult. i can't really assign any kind of catalyst to it, either. while i haven't looked into this at all, i suspect it's a less uncommon phenomenon than might be imagined.

i should maybe give my parents, which at this point in time means my father and step-mother but primarily my father, a little bit of credit for at least being aware that my character underwent a fast and drastic shift from being kind of hyperactive and full of snarky wit to being quiet and sort of withdrawn. the immediate interpretation of such a shift is inevitably going to be that it is at least consistent with the onset of some kind of depression. so, i ended up dealing with the spanish inquisition for a while, regarding my shift in demeanour. was i alright? if i wasn't, would i tell him? would i agree to talk to somebody?

i did agree to talk to somebody, mostly to ease his own concerns. i mean, i just didn't see the need for him to be worrying about me like this.

the reality of the situation was that i had simply matured a little bit. sure: there were some real life concerns happening around me. life at 17 is not childhood any longer; it can be stressful. maybe that had affected me a little bit. but, depression? i didn't feel that i was suffering from anything. i just felt that my personality was asserting itself as something that was kind of stoic. i don't want to call myself a sociopath, exactly: stoicism gets the point across better. what's the point of getting irritable? what does it solve?

the doctor keyed in on some of the music i was listening to. now, it's the late 90s: right after grunge. people are still reeling from, like, kurt cobain copycat suicides. i was in a bit of a different musical head space than that, one defined mostly by nine inch nails (and including influences on nin and offshoots from it). that's actually considerably worse, on first glance, although i was aware of the fact that reznor was writing from the perspective of a character rather than from personal experience. the point is that i understood where the concern was coming from and was able to effectively articulate that point to the doctor. we agreed that i didn't necessarily need to be put on anti-depressants right away, but that i should accept a prescription and fill it at some point if i get overwhelmed.

so, i came home with a prescription and immediately hit the internet to research it. i didn't like what i found. i had explicitly told the doctor that i was experiencing a lack of emotional instability, not an excess of it. so, i didn't need to turn my emotions off; if anything, i would have benefited more from something that amplified my emotions more. the idea that i was depressed was just a misperception. nonetheless, the mere *idea* of taking drugs that would suppress my emotions and may have long term or permanent effects scared the hell out of me. the xfiles sample that appears on the original mix was something that i had put aside for future pro-atheist use but, after doing this research, became very relevant in a completely different context.

so, i wasn't keen on taking these drugs that were going to at best turn me into a zombie and at worst turn me into a mass murderer. nope. no thanks...

my dad pushed the point for quite a while, though. in his mind, i came home with a prescription and ought to fill it. this song is a reaction to his insistence, which i always knew was coming from a good place. in fact, he never really dropped the argument.

the doctor and i also talked a little bit about my own music, and how it was an outlet for various frustrations. i made the argument that, while i didn't feel depressed, i was nonetheless better off working out issues of the sort through art than i was taking pills. so, this song also exists on that kind of meta level.

in hindsight, i don't want to give off the impression that i reject psychology or the medicalization of depression. that is simply untrue. the honest truth is that i simply did not feel that i was suffering from any kind of depression. yet, i've also always been very uncomfortable with the way that this process unfolded. we talked for less than an hour, and i walked out with a prescription for a mind-altering substance that could have dramatically damaged me. why is there not more oversight in this process? one would think that i should have been given a blood test to determine if i actually had an imbalance or not. no doctor can determine an imbalance through intuition. that is flat out quackery! an imbalance must be measured. if it can be determined empirically, it ought to be reacted to. yet, i was never even tested.

as an artist, i'm glad that i had the presence of mind to reject the drugs at this age. i simply don't know what they would have done to me, or who i would be today had i taken them.

originally created in april, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 4, 2015. remixed july 15, 2015. vocals added jan 6, 2016. released on jan 6, 2016. as always, please use headphones.

credits:
j - guitars, effects, synth bass, synths, drum programming, sequencing, vocals, sampling, digital wave editing, production

released april 29, 1998

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/nope-2


1) there was a vocal version created in the summer of 2015, but this version was reconstructed in jan, 2016 to mathematically align properly with the instrumental/album version. i don't have the original date of render, but it was probably july 15, 2015. originally created in april, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 4, 2015. remixed july 15, 2015. vocals added jan 6, 2016.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/nope-3


2) the album mix is the same as the version that was constructed from original 1998 source tape over the summer of 2015. originally created in april, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 4, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/nope-album-version


3) the electronics only mix really just removes the guitars (and vocals). originally created in april, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 4, 2015. remixed july 15, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/nope-electronics-only


4) deleted 2013 remaster. the dialogue is from the x-files. originally created in april, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. dec 21, 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/nope-2013-remaster-of-1998-cd-mix


5) deleted 1998 original, unsequenced mix from a 112 kbps mp3. the dialogue is from the x-files. originally created in april, 1998. april 29, 1998
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/nope-1998-archived-112-kbps-mp3

i just listened to an instrumental reconstruction of my first record and i damned near started crying. i can now add this to my list of brilliant left-field electronic records - i didn't think i'd ever get to say that. i thought these tracks were beyond being salvaged..

i'm going to wait until i get the full sequence done before i upload anything else, because this is going to turn that section of the discography on it's head and i just want to wait until the tracklistings are all final.

all the singles i uploaded are final, it's the next year or so worth of recordings that are going to get played with quite a bit.

05-01-2016: quitting smoking (false start)

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/schizoid-terrorist-2
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/i-did-your-mom-2
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/on-sexual-confusion-in-adolescence-2

so, this is a surreal moment, and i thought it would never come, but it is finally here: i am resequencing my first record.

it is true that there are tracks i cannot reconstruct, but i don't really need to reconstruct any of them because they're instrumentals, anyways. so, i can create a reasonable replacement for this.

i bluntly didn't think this was possible. if i thought it was possible, i would have done it in the first place. much more of it become reconstructible than i thought, because i dumped most of the electronics to tape after all.

now that it is clear that this is possible, i can't not do it. i was able to salvage some of these a few years ago by equalizing the cd rips, but some of them were really beyond saving and absolutely had to be recreated. yet, i decided it was impossible and accepted what i had - mixes that i had ruined.

if i can fix it, all of that logic collapses and i have to actually do it. some of what exists right now just sounds awful on every level, but what do you do if you can't fix it? suppress it or release it? i thought it was better to release it. but, i don't have to make that choice anymore.

i should be able to fix the second record, too.

this is a huge update to my discography. it converts what were two semi-official recordings into two full-blown official releases. this is a happy occasion.

i'm going to be creative regarding how i mix the segues. i need some continuity, so i have to remaster them. but, i'm not holding to any specific historical truth.

so, these are the changes that are coming.

1) inri000-inri003 [96-97 demos] remain the same.
2) a sequence of singles (skaters, confused, hey god, schizoid terrorist, i did your mom, nope) is inserted that has various versions of each of these tracks. the singles will be the only sources of vocal versions for these tracks.
3) my first record, inri, is being completely resequenced. tracks will align with their final versions, which will be dramatic at points - such as the added sequencing for confused, or the full remix of the intersection. this will be entirely instrumental. the existing version will only be available on the aleph-0 disc.
4) there will be another sequence of singles over late 98 (eat my fuck, idiotic, suicide suite, boogeyman). this will again be the only source for vocal versions.
5) inriched will be resequenced and vocal versions will only be available on aleph-0. except "too cold", which i have no tapes for.
6) inrijected will likely see the vocal version of permission replaced, with the vocal version available only on the aleph disc.
7) inrimixed will likely fall back to it's previous incarnation, with the rest of it scattered across the discography - much of it on the actual records. the added section will be dropped as superfluous.
8) inriclaimed will specifically be a "straight from tape" project. or it may even be deleted!

the discography flips over after that.

so, if you want these existing mixes and don't want to pay $100 for an aleph-disc, get them in the next few days or hours because i'm happy to switch them out and will not put them back.

false completion on i did your mom (inri009)

if i was going to put up a slew of singles, i couldn't avoid this track. it is dated to mar 20, 1998 and is the new inri008. the format is the same as skaters: moving forwards from earliest to latest, and even has the exact same sequence.

half of me would like this track to take off in a new direction, while the other half wants it to die immediately. the blunt truth is that it "sounds done" to me; i don't hear anything i would like to add, despite it being a little sparse at points. it's ok to be sparse, sometimes.

so, it's done, and without any theatrics. that question has been resolved with an answer; the track is closed.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/i-did-your-mom-2

publishing schizoid terrorist (inri014)

it looks like all of the singles are going to be a little different. this is the new inri007.

i'm also seriously considering rebuilding and replacing the two official records.

this is a double ep single; i've done this before. the idea is to separate newer mixes onto one ep, and older mixes onto the other. it's mostly a separation tactic.

the first ep is all 2015 mixes, whereas the second is a lineal movement from 1996 through to 1998.

i've also taken note of the fact that schizoid and terrorists were always tied together, and have merged them into a single track.

==

this single was created by running tracks 8, 9 and 10 on the cd together; it was never meant to be a unified track. 8 and 10 are proper tracks, whereas 9 is an experimental segue directly into 10. the process of compiling singles kind of accidentally led to this construction as a very natural combination and i'm now very content with it as the permanent home for both of these pieces.

these songs were both always musically driven, with kind of throwaway vocals that i don't really have any meaningful analysis for. neither of these tracks was ever conceptual or confessional or ever meant much to me on a personal level, so they don't have the kind of stories or explanations that the other tracks that were important to me do. i have not remixed the vocals into either of these songs; all of the tracks on the physical release are entirely instrumental. why bother releasing a single, then?

the reason is that i ended up with a number of mixes for both of them and just needed a place to house them. of course, that's not actually any kind of an interesting concept to build a single around. it was precisely because there was no retained concept underlying either of these tracks that the singles seemed pointless. but, once they were connected via the segue, the purpose of a single became readily apparent in that connection, itself.

the decision was sealed by a curious synchronicity in time. they were both originally written for the 1996 cassette demo, and separated there by a guitar/bass cover of "mellon collie and the infinite sadness". the entanglement is probably not entirely coincidental; i have a vague recollection of checking the tape to ensure i didn't forget any songs, and i may very well have repeated recording them in succession for that reason. however that happened to be, the synchronicity is a big part of what allowed me to create this ep the way that i've created it as it allowed me to label demo versions of the track with the same title.

while neither of these tracks have meaningful vocals, they are both important in my musical development. schizoid features my first multi-part string accompaniment and terrorists is a serious step forward in harmonic complexity. even the segue (titled "abusive") is something different: it's my first run at a 909 emulator, and a step out to lunch in abstract sound design.

so, as the last piece completed for my first record, this is somewhat of a portal to transit through, in terms of the developing complexity in my compositional abilities. but, it does not and never did have any worthwhile conceptual meaning to me. as such, there is no story to tell.

initially written in 1996. recreated mostly in feb, 1998 (schizoid, terrorists) but also partly in june, 1998 (abusive). sequenced in this form in june, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. "terrorists" was reclaimed june 28-29, 2015 & remixed july 15, 2015. the main mix was corrected on nov 19, 2015. "schizoid" was reclaimed on july 12, 2015 & reprogrammed on dec 31, 2015. the main mix was corrected on jan 3, 2016 and remixed repeatedly jan 3-5, 2016. the lead track was sequenced on jan 5, 2016. released on jan 5, 2016. as always, please use headphones.

credits:
j - guitars, effects, bass, vocals, synths, drum kit, drum programming, sequencing, soundraider, hammerhead, cool edit synthesis, tapes, noises, found sounds, sound design, sampling, digital wave editing, production.

the rendered electronic orchestra includes organ, sitar, bells, violin, viola, cello, contrabass and synthesizer effects.

released june 16, 1998

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/schizoid-terrorist-2


1) single mix. initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998 (terrorists, schizoid) and sequenced (with abusive) in jun, 1998. sequenced in this form in june, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed & remixed over the summer of 2015. corrected to control for malfunctioning electronics on nov 19, 2015 (terrorists) and jan 3, 2016 (schizoid). reprogammed on dec 31, 2015 (schizoid). sequenced jan 5, 2016.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-terrorist


2) from inricycled. initially written and recorded in 1996. remastered & recycled in 2013. dec 11, 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/alien-ship-caught-on-radar-causing-havoc-second-encounter


3) version reconstructed in 2015 from tape. initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. reclaimed july 12, 2015. corrected to control for malfunctioning electronics on jan 3, 2016.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-2015-reconstruction-from-1998-source-tapes


4) version reconstructed in 2015 from tape. initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. reclaimed june 29, 2015. corrected to control for malfunctioning electronics on aug 11, 2015. corrected again on nov 19, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/terrorists-2015-reconstruction-from-1998-source-tapes


5) updated electronic orchestra added to version reconstructed in 2015 from tape. initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. reclaimed july 12, 2015. reprogrammed and reconstructed on dec 31, 2015. corrected to control for malfunctioning electronics and remixed as alternate on jan 3, 2016.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-total-2


6) bass blur removed from version reconstructed in 2015 from tape. initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. reclaimed july 12, 2015. corrected to control for malfunctioning electronics and remixed as alternate on jan 3, 2016.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-clean


7) bass blur removed from total mix. initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. reclaimed july 12, 2015. reprogrammed and reconstructed on dec 31, 2015. corrected to control for malfunctioning electronics on jan 3, 2016. remixed as alternate on jan 5, 2016.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-totally-clean


8) this is an edit of the electronics only mix that fades the track in and out. originally written in 1996. recorded in feb, 1998. reclaimed june 28, 2015. remixed july 15, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/terrorists-electronics-only-mix-cut


9) electronics only mix. initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. reclaimed july 12, 2015. reprogrammed and reconstructed on dec 31, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-electronics-only-mix


10) not from inricycled. rather, this is the unmodified (not remastered) ending section of the deleted original 1996 recording of terrorists. initially written and recorded in 1996. isolated in early 2016. jan 5, 2016.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/alien-ship-caught-on-radar-causing-havoc-initial-approach


11) from the deleted inricycled B compilation. initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. remastered in late 2013. recycled jan 7, 2014.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/evil-jazz-decepticons-trash-a-bowie-srv-show-circa-1985-hidden


12) deleted original 1996 opening sequence of side B of the demo tape. initially written in 1996. the middle section is a combination hendrix/pumpkins cover.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-terrorist-original-1996-demo-mix-2

13) deleted sequence of tracks 8-10 on the original 1998 cd. initially written in 1996. recreated mostly in feb, 1998 (schizoid, terrorists) but also partly in june, 1998 (abusive). sequenced in this form in june, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-terrorist-original-1998-cd-mix-2

14) 2013 remaster of the original 1996 opening sequence of side B of the demo tape. initially written and recorded in 1996. the middle section is a combination hendrix/pumpkins cover. remastered in 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-terrorist-2013-remaster-of-1996-demo-mix-2

15) deleted 2013 remaster of the sequence of tracks 8-10 on the original 1998 cd. initially written in 1996. recreated mostly in feb, 1998 (schizoid, terrorists) but also partly in june, 1998 (abusive). sequenced in this form in june, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-terrorist-2013-remaster-of-1998-cd-mix-2

16) full electronics only mix. originally written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. reclaimed june 28, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/terrorists-full-electronics-only-mix-2

04-01-2016: new revisionist single adds walk through & almost quitting smoking

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/permission-3
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/a-deleted-exercise-in-hipster-homophobia
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inrimixed
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/skaters
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/confused-2
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/hey-god-2

publishing hey god (inri008)

i had to psych myself up a little to convince myself to release this. the date is feb 11, 1998 - it is the new inri006. but, i didn't release it until feb, 1999, because i realized, even at the time, that the vocals were embarrassing. there are a couple of tracks on inriched like that that i had to work myself up to get out and today sort of regret.

the thing about this track is that there's no reason to include the unmastered versions. sometimes, when you're remastering something it just comes down to personal taste. that was the case with skaters - and the mixes are consequently all pretty different. but, for this track, the initial mixes were just objectively bad, and can safely be just thrown away.

that means, i have five distinct versions - three new constructions, and two pretty different vocal versions. that's both enough variation to make the single worthwhile and not enough redundancy to really turn myself off the vocals. it just would have been painful to listen to the vocal track five times in a row.

the vocals are actually not at the front of the mix, and i was being a little self-conscious; how bad they are depends on how seriously you take them, and, even then, i didn't really intend for them to be taken particularly seriously.
the thing is that i want the three new versions available in one place. it only makes sense to include the vocal versions, too.

the next single is schizoid, and it will be a longer single.

==

my recollection of the initial recording of this track is unfortunately somewhat vague. when we push our memories like i'm trying to, we become more likely to imagine the past in terms that never actually existed. so, how real is this vague memory of wanting to hear some backwards guitars? i fear that it's perilous to try and force my mind to be more specific.

it's at least fully consistent with what i know about the situation. this was initially the second track recorded in my basement studio in the fall of 1996. so, i was still at the point where i was looking to try things in the studio for the first time. as for backwards guitars? i was very interested in both zappa and hendrix (two of my biggest guitar influences) at the time, and that is actually blatantly obvious if you listen to inri000. they both used backwards guitars. there are multiple occasions on inri000 (and afterwards...) where the nods to both of these players are beyond heavy-sleeved. so, my vague memory at the very least makes sense.

how i made the jump from trying to create a backwards guitar solo to turning a song into a palindrome is another question and i don't really have a good answer besides stumbling upon it as i was listening to it. clearly, it is the case that this struck me as a good idea at some point along the way.

when i went to recreate the track in early 1998, i felt the need to recreate the palindrome effect. so, i never saved any version of the track in forward order (without the backwards overdub) or released it in any kind of way. for all these years, there has simply never been a forwards version of the track.

the remastering process over 2015 has finally given me the opportunity to create a forwards version and spin it off as a single for the express reason of documenting the track as it was actually initially written, which was as a fairly straight forward alternative pop song. that's a description that i do believe is very old. yet, i may be imagining the past, too...

initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed june 29, 2015. remixed july 15, 2015. compiled on jan 4, 2016. as always, please use headphones.

regarding the subject matter of the deleted vocals/lyrics, please see the following vlog:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuhdwde1YKI&t=895s

credits:
j - guitars, effects, bass, drum programming, digital wave editing, loops, vocals, drum kit, tapes, production

released february 11, 1998

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/hey-god-2


1) this is the track run forwards, without the backwards overdub, which is the main purpose of the single. initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed june 29, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/hey-god-straight-forwards


2) this is just the electronics in the track - which means the backwards version pasted over top of the forwards version. initially programmed in 1997. digitally modified in feb, 1998. reclaimed june 29, 2015. remixed july 15, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/hey-god-electronics-only


3) initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed june 29, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/hey-god-album-mix


4) 2013 remaster of 1996 demo cassette. initially written in 1996. remastered in 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/hey-god-2013-remaster-of-1996-demo-mix-2

5) deleted 2013 remaster of the 1998 demo. initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/hey-god-2013-remaster-of-1998-demo