mom
Talked to Don...He is willing. He doesn't want to drive his own truck though....No insurance, nor license plates on it anymore. But is willing to secure a truck and drive it. He wants to know how much stuff you have so to know what size of truck to rent. He is going to call you later tonight and talk to you himself.
Jessica Amber Murray
alright. did he want to take the bus back? that would be cheaper.
(gas)
mom
We all three will be in the truck(dog too)...Him and I(and dog)...Will have to rest a bit and then just drive back.
Jessica Amber Murray
ok. my sister is being weird about giving me the money tomorrow. she wants to give it to you instead. i dunno.
mom
He is thinking of dropping the truck off at your location(I guess your father's?)...And you will have to be responsible for load up....On I think either Monday or Tuesday....We will all leave probably on probably Tuesday night....
Jessica Amber Murray
ok. that should work fine. but they charge you by the day. would make sense to drop it on the same day we're leaving.
mom
Yes..He has friends in the business, so can secure a cheaper rate.
Jessica Amber Murray
swell. ok, well i think i should be ok with either the biggest budget van or the smallest truck.
i think the van should probably be ok, but if he's getting a special rate, maybe the smallest truck might be a better idea just to be safe.
mom
Yes...your sister is supposed to drop by later with the money....Don will take care of securing the truck...He just wanted to know how much stuff you have. He is going to call you later...Will you be at Nanny's?
A valid driver's license along with a credit card is needed.
It will be his.
I have to pay him back though....And he wants $200.00 for himself. I was a bit taken aback by his demand really..But, I think it will still be cheaper in the long run.
Have to pay for all meals and coffees as well...He say's he doesn't want it to cost him a nickel. Fine!.......He will lose 2 day's pay...Whatever.
That's what the 200 lousy bucks is about....K...Whatever. I agree..Do You?
Agreed.
Whatever is left is for you.
Jessica Amber Murray
well, i'm looking at this cash as yours. it's certainly the *easiest* way. can you budget it, though? 200 - don 450 - gas 100? - food ? rental it's adding up. if i can find a straight driver and send them home on the bus, it's $450. i may be able to do even cheaper using a trucker. i'm kind of feeling a little bit guilty getting you to pay for this and sort of want it to be as cheap as possible. i was planning on giving you what was left back, in all honesty. so, i mean...i think it's up to you... this is guaranteed, and it's safe, but it's going to cost you more in the end.
the thing is if you're both coming then the bus back doesn't save much money; 225 for gas vs. roughly that for two bus tickets.
...but if just one of you comes it's a lot cheaper... i guess it depends if the experience is worth it to you or not.
mom
I would love to see your new place and get to experience a little of where you will be existing. It is worth it to me.
Jessica Amber Murray
ok, so i guess we're planning for that. we're going to be there wednesday morning, then? i have to call the guy.
mom
What Guy?...Don will secure the truck....He is going to call you later at Nanny's?
Will you be at Nanny's tonight around 9 or so?
Jessica Amber Murray
the guy in windsor. he wants to know when we'll be there.
i should be here tonight, yeah.
mom
He is going to call you and will talk to you himself.
Jessica Amber Murray
ok
mom
K
Prolly Wednesday....Tell him then.
Jessica Amber Murray
i'll call him tomorrow, i should talk to don first.
mom
Yes....True.
I am looking forward to our road-trip adventure together!..... <3 ;) (y) :)
Jessica Amber Murray
lol
mom
No drugs and alcohol allowed though!...I was told very firmly...K...I can abide for sure. Coffees from Timmy's is welcome!....Smoking tobacco is unfortunate(I know)...Will be involved.
Jessica Amber Murray
i still smoke tobacco. my sister was saying you were worried i was going to spend the money on drugs. i don't actually do drugs. i smoke a mild amount of pot socially (i rarely pay for it), and i might do mushrooms roughly once a year but that's really it. i'm not a drug person....
mom
Glad to hear!...I am just an old worry wart. An Old Mother Hen, A Protective Mother Bear Of Her Precious Cubs.
Jessica Amber Murray
i have been drinking more than usual lately, but it's mostly because i'm bored. that should cut down when i get my studio set back up.
mom
I think that is my main reason for drinking as well.
Jessica Amber Murray
well, i don't drink like you do, that's for sure...just a few a night...but it's been fairly frequent...
mom
' :o .. :)
I have a feeling that your sister will be here shortly. Charlie Brown is pacing and telling me.....
He just pooed on his doggy diaper...And that is a sign...That someone is on their way...Funny how animals are so damn psychic!
Don't think she will stay long....Cause I look scarier than the classic witch cartoon!...LOL....I will look better though when you see me...I promise...Although you may secretly disagree!..... ;)
Hope Don doesn't show up here too!..He's supposed to go home and call you from his place...His number is **********. I am just too ugly and stinky(for sure) right now. Think Nanny still has that service on her phone..When you see that number.....Answer it.....You will hear his voice anyway.
Jessica Amber Murray
yeah, i'll pick it up when he calls.
mom
Hope your sister show ups soon...I just want to lay my weary old head down for about 6 hours at least. Again, I will be a bit of a disappointment to her..Stink, Scarey look and all...But there is nothing i can do about it at the moment. If, I disappear into the shower, I will miss her.
Jessica Amber Murray
i suppose she called?
mom
No...She isn't supposed to call again...Just show up.
I suppose I should be making a better effort to have a better personal appearance....But, I simply have no energy at all anymore. I am exhausted...I am sure she is as well, and will understand.
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Re: moving
From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address
i had an emotional attachment to those cds, but the music is replaceable. it's very disappointing, but i can deal with that.
he had a number of trophies that he won when he was younger. like, hockey and baseball and football awards. if everything else is gone, did she at least keep these? like, i'm flabbergasted...
is it not the most obvious fucking thing in the world that the kid is going to want to look through personal belongings? i mean, what the fuck...
j
To: sister’s email address
i had an emotional attachment to those cds, but the music is replaceable. it's very disappointing, but i can deal with that.
he had a number of trophies that he won when he was younger. like, hockey and baseball and football awards. if everything else is gone, did she at least keep these? like, i'm flabbergasted...
is it not the most obvious fucking thing in the world that the kid is going to want to look through personal belongings? i mean, what the fuck...
j
Jeff
You talking about your dads stuff and pictures?
Jessica Amber Murray
his cds, his trophies, his medals, his clothes, everything...
Jeff
Who the Fuck?
Jessica Amber Murray
my stepmother.
i don't get along with her so well, but it's really something else not to let a kid sort through their father's stuff before it's tossed to the curb. wow.
Jeff
I have to say the coldest shit I've heard in my life! If be so pissed I'm not sure how long id be in jail for!no way to still get any of it or is it already gone?
Jessica Amber Murray
no, it's gone. all i gots is pics.
Jeff
Not a total loss..some is better then none but shame on your stepmom cause that's not right man. Pictures are good because your end up looking at them years later and don't have to put a face to the name. And if ya have kids they see what he looks like young and old eh. Kids might not be on the list right now but just saying.
Jessica Amber Murray
no, i'm glad i have the pictures, don't get me wrong on that.
You talking about your dads stuff and pictures?
Jessica Amber Murray
his cds, his trophies, his medals, his clothes, everything...
Jeff
Who the Fuck?
Jessica Amber Murray
my stepmother.
i don't get along with her so well, but it's really something else not to let a kid sort through their father's stuff before it's tossed to the curb. wow.
Jeff
I have to say the coldest shit I've heard in my life! If be so pissed I'm not sure how long id be in jail for!no way to still get any of it or is it already gone?
Jessica Amber Murray
no, it's gone. all i gots is pics.
Jeff
Not a total loss..some is better then none but shame on your stepmom cause that's not right man. Pictures are good because your end up looking at them years later and don't have to put a face to the name. And if ya have kids they see what he looks like young and old eh. Kids might not be on the list right now but just saying.
Jessica Amber Murray
no, i'm glad i have the pictures, don't get me wrong on that.
Re: moving
From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address
i'm really disappointed that you didn't give me the opportunity to sort through my father's belongings.
i mean, honestly...???
j
To: stepmother’s email address
i'm really disappointed that you didn't give me the opportunity to sort through my father's belongings.
i mean, honestly...???
j
Re: mom's money
From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email
the money *was* for my first/last, but that became redundant. i'm not going to have this arranged before you leave tomorrow.
if you want to give it back to her directly, that's fine, but it would have to be done tonight or tomorrow. as mentioned, i don't really want it transferred to me, either; i can claim money as a gift if they make me, but i've already had a large deposits come through and i don't want to flag myself. are you sure it's not easier just to give it to me tomorrow? she knows this is happening...
j
To: sister’s email
the money *was* for my first/last, but that became redundant. i'm not going to have this arranged before you leave tomorrow.
if you want to give it back to her directly, that's fine, but it would have to be done tonight or tomorrow. as mentioned, i don't really want it transferred to me, either; i can claim money as a gift if they make me, but i've already had a large deposits come through and i don't want to flag myself. are you sure it's not easier just to give it to me tomorrow? she knows this is happening...
j
RE: moving
From: stepmother’s email address
To: "'Jessica Murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
If you want to come by and measure tomorrow while your sister is here that is fine however I expect you to leave once completed. At this time you are not welcome in my house. I have kept the CD's I wanted and sold the rest. Your father only had 2 records which I have given away. There are no medal or trophies. All Bob's clothes other than the Habs and SF stuff have been donated to the Mission. Your sister gave you the pictures.
What is in the garage are your boxes and all the equipment that was in the basement.. I have added a microwave, a brand new bed and frame ($700), a new pillow and towel, 2 sets of new sheets, the leather chair, bookcase and the desk and desk chair. As well you were recently given a newer laptop.
I have attached a letter for ODSB.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Aug 1, 2013
To Whom It May Concern,
As executor for the estate of my late husband, I did forward a one-time inheritance amount
of $1600.00 on July 28th, 2013 to his son Jason Parent.
If you have any questions or concerns please contact me directly at **********.
Regards
The Stepmother
To: "'Jessica Murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
If you want to come by and measure tomorrow while your sister is here that is fine however I expect you to leave once completed. At this time you are not welcome in my house. I have kept the CD's I wanted and sold the rest. Your father only had 2 records which I have given away. There are no medal or trophies. All Bob's clothes other than the Habs and SF stuff have been donated to the Mission. Your sister gave you the pictures.
What is in the garage are your boxes and all the equipment that was in the basement.. I have added a microwave, a brand new bed and frame ($700), a new pillow and towel, 2 sets of new sheets, the leather chair, bookcase and the desk and desk chair. As well you were recently given a newer laptop.
I have attached a letter for ODSB.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Aug 1, 2013
To Whom It May Concern,
As executor for the estate of my late husband, I did forward a one-time inheritance amount
of $1600.00 on July 28th, 2013 to his son Jason Parent.
If you have any questions or concerns please contact me directly at **********.
Regards
The Stepmother
Re: mom's money
From: sister’s email address
To: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
the money is for your moving expenses. it has already been deposited for transfer, but if the cash is simply to be given to you, i’ll bring it back to mom to do it herself. if don is the one doing the moving, you can get whatever she wants to give you from her.
To: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
the money is for your moving expenses. it has already been deposited for transfer, but if the cash is simply to be given to you, i’ll bring it back to mom to do it herself. if don is the one doing the moving, you can get whatever she wants to give you from her.
moving
From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address
i think things went well today.
i wanted to come by and just measure things in the garage. i have an ad up at a site that puts small loads in contact with truckers that have extra space. they want exact dimensions and exact objects because it makes a difference relative to the cargo and packing space. it's something i could have done quietly by myself, all i would need would be a few pieces of paper and a pen. i was thinking my sister was going to be there, so if you're uncomfortable around me for whatever reason...
it's something i sort of need to do. perhaps tomorrow would be better, right before they leave?
that being said, i may be able to get a drive with my mother's boyfriend. he owns a truck. in that case, it's not necessary. if i don't know by tomorrow, though, i think it would make sense for me to do this while they're still around. i can do it quietly by myself....
as for my father's belongings, i don't know if he left any directions regarding any of it or not. you've indicated that you get everything. that's fine. however, there's a number of cds and records in his collection that have been very important to me over my life. it's mostly prog stuff from the 70s - genesis, pink floyd, king crimson. if i could have those, it would mean a whole lot to me. so, i would really appreciate the chance to look through his collection....or i can just take all of it and sort through it later. the music i was able to appreciate through him and share with him is one of the things i'm going to remember him by.
as for the other things, i don't know what you plan to do with them. are you going to keep things? discard them? would you mind if i took a look through anything that you want to discard before you do so? i think it would be a shame to have these things simply thrown out. i may be interested in taking things like trophies, medals, maybe a few shirts...
j
To: stepmother’s email address
i think things went well today.
i wanted to come by and just measure things in the garage. i have an ad up at a site that puts small loads in contact with truckers that have extra space. they want exact dimensions and exact objects because it makes a difference relative to the cargo and packing space. it's something i could have done quietly by myself, all i would need would be a few pieces of paper and a pen. i was thinking my sister was going to be there, so if you're uncomfortable around me for whatever reason...
it's something i sort of need to do. perhaps tomorrow would be better, right before they leave?
that being said, i may be able to get a drive with my mother's boyfriend. he owns a truck. in that case, it's not necessary. if i don't know by tomorrow, though, i think it would make sense for me to do this while they're still around. i can do it quietly by myself....
as for my father's belongings, i don't know if he left any directions regarding any of it or not. you've indicated that you get everything. that's fine. however, there's a number of cds and records in his collection that have been very important to me over my life. it's mostly prog stuff from the 70s - genesis, pink floyd, king crimson. if i could have those, it would mean a whole lot to me. so, i would really appreciate the chance to look through his collection....or i can just take all of it and sort through it later. the music i was able to appreciate through him and share with him is one of the things i'm going to remember him by.
as for the other things, i don't know what you plan to do with them. are you going to keep things? discard them? would you mind if i took a look through anything that you want to discard before you do so? i think it would be a shame to have these things simply thrown out. i may be interested in taking things like trophies, medals, maybe a few shirts...
j
mom's money
From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address
i need to be careful about money going through banks, too.
could you bring it tomorrow?
also, did you mention the cds to the stepmother? i'll send her an email...
turns out don might drive me for gas money. i'll take it.
j
To: sister’s email address
i need to be careful about money going through banks, too.
could you bring it tomorrow?
also, did you mention the cds to the stepmother? i'll send her an email...
turns out don might drive me for gas money. i'll take it.
j
a path
mom
J...There could be a potentially new idea....Don owns a big moving truck. I could ask him if he could be the driver...The 3 of us would sit in it(Charlie Brown on the floor...Or in my lap...He's little)....I could approach(him with the idea) and we could make a holiday out of it(him and I....It would be a bonding experience for us all!....Where is your sister?...Is she still in town?
Jessica Amber Murray
if you're up for it, that sounds like a good idea. it's going to cost like $450 in gas (225 both ways), but if it gets paid for out of the money you gave me, that's probably still just about as cheap as is possible. my sister is in town until tomorrow afternoon. i'll have to make sure she gives me that money tomorrow.
mom
I just wrote and it disappeared....Anyways...I am rewriting. I have to talk to Don first. His truck has his son's junk stored in it right now and will have to be emptied first...But he(the son) has a big enough garage and basement where the junk can be stored for awhile anyway. The money will have to be recouped from your sister. I will talk to Don soon. If I approach him right...I think he will help. We wouldn't be able to leave before Tuesday though.
Jessica Amber Murray
that's ok, tuesday or wednesday is about when i was planning for. is there a way you could let me know today or tomorrow, though, so i can plan around it?
mom
He will be calling me around supper time...I will know soon after.
Jessica Amber Murray
ok. thanks.
J...There could be a potentially new idea....Don owns a big moving truck. I could ask him if he could be the driver...The 3 of us would sit in it(Charlie Brown on the floor...Or in my lap...He's little)....I could approach(him with the idea) and we could make a holiday out of it(him and I....It would be a bonding experience for us all!....Where is your sister?...Is she still in town?
Jessica Amber Murray
if you're up for it, that sounds like a good idea. it's going to cost like $450 in gas (225 both ways), but if it gets paid for out of the money you gave me, that's probably still just about as cheap as is possible. my sister is in town until tomorrow afternoon. i'll have to make sure she gives me that money tomorrow.
mom
I just wrote and it disappeared....Anyways...I am rewriting. I have to talk to Don first. His truck has his son's junk stored in it right now and will have to be emptied first...But he(the son) has a big enough garage and basement where the junk can be stored for awhile anyway. The money will have to be recouped from your sister. I will talk to Don soon. If I approach him right...I think he will help. We wouldn't be able to leave before Tuesday though.
Jessica Amber Murray
that's ok, tuesday or wednesday is about when i was planning for. is there a way you could let me know today or tomorrow, though, so i can plan around it?
mom
He will be calling me around supper time...I will know soon after.
Jessica Amber Murray
ok. thanks.
it's short notice, but...
....my dad's funeral is at 10:00 tomorrow (thursday) at macdougall, which is at albion & hunt club.
i don't expect you to come. but you're welcome if you'd like to.
i'll be leaving for windsor some time this upcoming week. monday, tuesday, wednesday - something like that. i'm going to be living there permanently...
...so if you want to see me before i go, please contact me for coffee. you have no idea how much it would mean to me to seduce, err, i mean, say bye to you before i go.
**********
j
i don't expect you to come. but you're welcome if you'd like to.
i'll be leaving for windsor some time this upcoming week. monday, tuesday, wednesday - something like that. i'm going to be living there permanently...
...so if you want to see me before i go, please contact me for coffee. you have no idea how much it would mean to me to seduce, err, i mean, say bye to you before i go.
**********
j
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
do i remember this? i'm not sure, actually.
i do actually have strange memories of eating cake in a high chair - i guess it would have had to have been the second birthday, then. i can't imagine remembering my own first birthday.
that's dad's head, and nana in the top right. i'm only about 60% certain that the person behind me is my father's brother, and sole remaining uncle (if that is still true; i have not checked in in years, at this point).
i've been told i was kind of an existentialist child; i rarely spoke, never cried, and almost never smiled. they actually sent me to a specialist, who came to the conclusion that i was just staunchly misanthropic, by the age of four - i might be mildly depressed, but there wasn't anything actually wrong with me. i just didn't want to speak, and didn't want to smile.
i have a vague recollection that what is happening here is that i'm being coerced to smile, and offering some resistance to it - to the concern of the adults in the room.
i do actually have strange memories of eating cake in a high chair - i guess it would have had to have been the second birthday, then. i can't imagine remembering my own first birthday.
that's dad's head, and nana in the top right. i'm only about 60% certain that the person behind me is my father's brother, and sole remaining uncle (if that is still true; i have not checked in in years, at this point).
i've been told i was kind of an existentialist child; i rarely spoke, never cried, and almost never smiled. they actually sent me to a specialist, who came to the conclusion that i was just staunchly misanthropic, by the age of four - i might be mildly depressed, but there wasn't anything actually wrong with me. i just didn't want to speak, and didn't want to smile.
i have a vague recollection that what is happening here is that i'm being coerced to smile, and offering some resistance to it - to the concern of the adults in the room.
Where did you get that lol
Jessica Amber Murray
my dad died a few days ago. i got a stack of pictures from him.
Jeff
I'm sorry,your dad was someone who I have never forgotten. I remember eating breakfast(corn squares) with you and him. Crazy the stuff we tend to remember the most eh! How you holding up? You and you mom are closer now in the past couple of years? Where are you living now
Jessica Amber Murray
i'm actually just about to move to windsor. next week. it's been a confusing few years of stability issues, mentally. i've had a few pretty strenuous breakdowns. i've been staying with my grandmother, and i'm pretty much on odsp permanently, now. it's schizophrenia, basically. they've diagnosed me with ptsd, but it's because stress is the trigger. the rent is just cheaper down there. i'm hoping i can set up a little studio. what are you up to these days?
Jeff
Working lcbo warehouse. Pension and all the goodies. Virus attack my body and went after weakest part and ended up with tinnius(ringing of ear) 3 different noises at once! Adjusting to it but no cure. Clone a sheep but your ears,forget about it. Family is good and stuck in Ottawa for the next 20 years lol. Been to Windsor as a kid and winter tends to be very warm.
Jessica Amber Murray
yeah, that's right, you *did* used to go to windsor. you used to get earaches all the time, too. you'd think they could maybe take the ear out and replace it, but i don't think they're at a stage to do that yet. i guess we haven't talked since a few years after the end of high school. i finished a math degree at carleton in '06. worked for a microsoft for a few years. built a great studio, was rolling...then shit hit the fan. ended up back in school, nearly finished a programming degree before i mentally collapsed and decided i had to transition. i was juggling shit, but it was taking too long. couldn't find a job, any job, got evicted...broke down again...landed at my grandmother's. finished a minor in law. been organizing with radical leftists (occupy movement types). and i just need to get out of here for somewhere that's cheaper to live. i guess i've got a decade of music to check out if you want to. you can stream it for free forever: http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com
i'm kind of hoping i'll eventually, one day, end up teaching math, but for right now i want to focus on writing music...
Jeff
Hey listen to me when I say your smart as Fuck so keep doing what ya have to do! Stay off meds cause they may help but so does just letting shit off your chest. Also make your body completely reliant on them. Surprised you don't lean towards holistic stuff? Say what ya want... But seen results of both and have to say I lean towards holistic although some seem to be hoaxish so is meds that fix shit. Although schizophrenia meds might be a good route. Also if someone said find a job that you love cause that what matters...find a job that your good at do it for 20 years and get the fucking thing over with. Not supposed to spend my life working for others anyway so that others can blah blah.... Too much shit going on in your life and head, you need a breather man! You may not have the support you need but I say your going to do a 180 once you plant your feet abit. Or win lottery lol.
That was supposed to be somewhat supportive and I think I failed lol. Just think you have alot of experience and education that not much should get in way of you just succeeding at everything so keep doing what you think is best Jay(Jessica). Old people always say that in live always do what you want so no regrets later. Enough ranting from me! Oh ya..grieving your father is not selfish, it's human!no grieving is like saying no love was there for that person. Everyone grieves different so.. Writing what I think on Facebook instead of in person really diminishes the feeling and expression of my thoughts! Talk soon
Jessica Amber Murray
i avoid the meds. it's more that i'm concerned about them affecting my creativity level. i'd rather be crazy and creative than sane and productive; maybe there's some circular logic there, but so be it. i'm not opposed to holistic approaches, so long as they're tested empirically. but, you know what they call holistic medicine that's been tested empirically? they call it medicine. when you have to say 'holistic' as a prefix, that generally means you're taking placebos. i don't mean to be arrogant, but the truth is that i'm smart enough to understand what's going on and to control the episodes through self-awareness. i like describe it as tripping out without taking drugs. you know? like, when you're on a mushroom trip, you know you're on a mushroom trip. even if you're having a bad trip, you know you're tripping. you know it's not real. i can do that. everybody that's done drugs knows that you have to do them in a safe place. it's the same kind of idea - when i feel i'm becoming episodic, i get myself out of the way of shit that's going to have the potential to put me in a bad place. that's part of why working's not a great idea. i can't really be like "boss, i'm tripping out, i have to go home" - although i *have* done that previously. like, let's say i'm working for somebody doing something important. with the background i have, i would be *the* person they hire. if i have to go home for a week, it doesn't make sense to bring me back. so, i could do something less intensive. but, would you feed a gazelle meat? if it could digest it at all, it would get sick. certainly, it wouldn't be happy. is a tiger happy eating ground meat? it'll survive, but it would rather hunt. so, do you send an artist to operate a phone or a cash register? we're expected to work when we're young, and retire when we're old. i think there's a lot of logic in that if the labour is physical. but, for mental labour - teaching, writing etc - i think it makes more sense to invert the process. i'd rather retire when i'm young and work when i'm old. so, my goal at the moment is to create the circumstances necessary that will allow me to create a lot of music. it's been a long, slow process....but it finally arrives next week. everything is finally in order. and i want to spend the next several years just purely creating. once that urge has run it's course, i'll think about applying myself mentally somehow. i could start doing some more creative writing. i could finish my masters in math. i'll have to decide then. i miss my dad, but the last several months of his life were horrific. it was brain cancer. he had three major surgeries that were functionally lobotomies. it was at the stage where death was a release from the suffering. he fought it for two years, man. hard. i've been through two years of a grieving process. at this point, i'm just happy he's not suffering anymore.
i had absolutely no intention of letting her move in
Jessica Amber Murray
so, about that laptop... it's fine if you hang on to it until you get to windsor. what i'm thinking is probably the best thing to do when you get there is to take that one back, buy a new hard drive for this one (it shouldn't be too much) and then lend this one to you indefinitely.
ESA
No its ok! You can have it back now. I dont mind, really.
Jessica Amber Murray
it's not really the biggest priority for me. if you're using it, keep using it. i don't need it in any kind of urgency. are you going to want this one once i put a new drive in it?
ESA
Im trying to figure this out wth my dad.
Also, do you think i can move in with you for a bit?
Possibly? I ddont want to get rid of leroy :(
And i dont think i can quit smoking either
Jessica Amber Murray
lol. ok... so, the landlord thinks i'm a non-smoker and i promised i wouldn't bring any pets in the place. you can crash for a bit, and leroy can hang out outside, but i can't let you bring leroy in the house and i have to ask that all smoking is done in take-a-walk form. i'm pretty serious about quitting, or at least cutting down to almost nothing.
ESA
Oh ok..
I want t cut down too. I think i can only cut down to five a day though.
Jessica Amber Murray
well, i've quit before. are you saying i can accomplish something you can't?
:P
i just can't have smoking around the place. and i told him it was just me coming, too....
ESA
Well. I am more addicted than you
No matter what, i win
Jessica Amber Murray
bah. i bet i've been smoking longer.... i'm going down next week. i have to run this by him first. and he's probably going to think i totally tricked him. i'm going to say this is tentative. again, i promised i'd tell him if i was going to let people stay for more than a day or two.
i *think* it should be fine..
it's just..
when you sign a lease for one person, and two people move in....
ESA
You dont have to tell him anything. Youre not doing anything illegal
Jessica Amber Murray
i don't want to start shit off on a wrong foot, though. i like this place and want to be there for a while.
the guy is actually really cool. i think he'll be fine with it.
ESA
Yeah ok. It was just as a last chance, if this room doesnt work out.
Jessica Amber Murray
i'm pretty sure it's probably fine. it's funny. he asked me about ten times about a girl moving in. i was like "no". he was like "yeah, right. so when a girl moves in, just let me know." :P i think he'll be fine i just can't guarantee it... so, does that mean you don't need the computer anymore? if that's the case, i should grab it.
ESA
My dad is lending me his netbookk.
Jessica Amber Murray
k. well, when he does let me know. i'm going to be busy tomorrow and friday, but i can grab it on the weekend. although...i guess you're going to be somewhere else tomorrow....
ESA
Hmmm dunno
Jessica Amber Murray
are you in hintonburg now? could i grab it now?
ESA
no im not
will be later
at 9 i'm playing risk with playa if u wanna come
we need a third player
k lemme know
Jessica Amber Murray
i think i'll just stop in quick to grab the laptop, there's a thousand things i need to do tonight (and i have to be up early for the funeral). just lemme know when i can drop by for a sec...
ESA
At 9
Actually can u come later in the week? I need to use it tomorrow to email university of windsor and other stufff.
Jessica Amber Murray
sure. just let me know when you get the netbook.
ESA
k
Do u wanna play risk?
Oh shit i didnt read your message
Never mind. Omg nevermind.
Hug hug hugzzz
Jessica Amber Murray
lol. it's ok. half of me wants to come, but i don't want to stumble in there half hungover. i've already been threatened with expulsion by my stepmother, which is like...try it...you know... i'm likely to get really edgy and start yelling. i think it's better if i chill by myself for the next few days.
ESA
Makes sense. Do yo thang gurrlllll
so, about that laptop... it's fine if you hang on to it until you get to windsor. what i'm thinking is probably the best thing to do when you get there is to take that one back, buy a new hard drive for this one (it shouldn't be too much) and then lend this one to you indefinitely.
ESA
No its ok! You can have it back now. I dont mind, really.
Jessica Amber Murray
it's not really the biggest priority for me. if you're using it, keep using it. i don't need it in any kind of urgency. are you going to want this one once i put a new drive in it?
ESA
Im trying to figure this out wth my dad.
Also, do you think i can move in with you for a bit?
Possibly? I ddont want to get rid of leroy :(
And i dont think i can quit smoking either
Jessica Amber Murray
lol. ok... so, the landlord thinks i'm a non-smoker and i promised i wouldn't bring any pets in the place. you can crash for a bit, and leroy can hang out outside, but i can't let you bring leroy in the house and i have to ask that all smoking is done in take-a-walk form. i'm pretty serious about quitting, or at least cutting down to almost nothing.
ESA
Oh ok..
I want t cut down too. I think i can only cut down to five a day though.
Jessica Amber Murray
well, i've quit before. are you saying i can accomplish something you can't?
:P
i just can't have smoking around the place. and i told him it was just me coming, too....
ESA
Well. I am more addicted than you
No matter what, i win
Jessica Amber Murray
bah. i bet i've been smoking longer.... i'm going down next week. i have to run this by him first. and he's probably going to think i totally tricked him. i'm going to say this is tentative. again, i promised i'd tell him if i was going to let people stay for more than a day or two.
i *think* it should be fine..
it's just..
when you sign a lease for one person, and two people move in....
ESA
You dont have to tell him anything. Youre not doing anything illegal
Jessica Amber Murray
i don't want to start shit off on a wrong foot, though. i like this place and want to be there for a while.
the guy is actually really cool. i think he'll be fine with it.
ESA
Yeah ok. It was just as a last chance, if this room doesnt work out.
Jessica Amber Murray
i'm pretty sure it's probably fine. it's funny. he asked me about ten times about a girl moving in. i was like "no". he was like "yeah, right. so when a girl moves in, just let me know." :P i think he'll be fine i just can't guarantee it... so, does that mean you don't need the computer anymore? if that's the case, i should grab it.
ESA
My dad is lending me his netbookk.
Jessica Amber Murray
k. well, when he does let me know. i'm going to be busy tomorrow and friday, but i can grab it on the weekend. although...i guess you're going to be somewhere else tomorrow....
ESA
Hmmm dunno
Jessica Amber Murray
are you in hintonburg now? could i grab it now?
ESA
no im not
will be later
at 9 i'm playing risk with playa if u wanna come
we need a third player
k lemme know
Jessica Amber Murray
i think i'll just stop in quick to grab the laptop, there's a thousand things i need to do tonight (and i have to be up early for the funeral). just lemme know when i can drop by for a sec...
ESA
At 9
Actually can u come later in the week? I need to use it tomorrow to email university of windsor and other stufff.
Jessica Amber Murray
sure. just let me know when you get the netbook.
ESA
k
Do u wanna play risk?
Oh shit i didnt read your message
Never mind. Omg nevermind.
Hug hug hugzzz
Jessica Amber Murray
lol. it's ok. half of me wants to come, but i don't want to stumble in there half hungover. i've already been threatened with expulsion by my stepmother, which is like...try it...you know... i'm likely to get really edgy and start yelling. i think it's better if i chill by myself for the next few days.
ESA
Makes sense. Do yo thang gurrlllll
Re: request for estimate
Your total price for the move is 2200$ and that includes everything; gas, driver, truck, tools to move, wrapping your stuff.
Please contact us for a confirmation.
Please contact us for a confirmation.
mom
Did you figure out a way yet?
Jessica Amber Murray
well, i'm still exploring options. i want to give the trucker option a few more days before i book something.
mom
Sounds good. Hope it works out....Something will come...Always does.
Jessica Amber Murray
i'm even steven. everything always works out for me.
mom
:)
Did you figure out a way yet?
Jessica Amber Murray
well, i'm still exploring options. i want to give the trucker option a few more days before i book something.
mom
Sounds good. Hope it works out....Something will come...Always does.
Jessica Amber Murray
i'm even steven. everything always works out for me.
mom
:)
request for estimate
i'm moving from ottawa to windsor. the amount of furniture is
minimal, but i have a lot of instruments and boxes of books and cds to
move.
i should only require one mover. if it's possible, i'd like to also hitch a ride down with the truck. in all honesty, i'm considering the option of pro movers almost solely because i don't have a driver's license; i'm looking for a driver more than i am a mover. the actual moving itself is of minimal labour, and i'll be glad to help move the objects on and off of the truck myself.
so, this is what i'm moving:
- 1 bed
- 1 desk
- 1 recliner chair
- 1 bookcase
- 2 pcs (one has a standalone crt monitor, the other has an lcd in a box)
- 6,7,8? guitars. i can't even remember. most are in cases, a few are loose.
- 2 synthesizers (one in a box, one in a case)
- a boxed electronic drum kit
- two full stereo systems (receivers, standalone cd players, speakers, cassette, vinyl)
- i'm going to over-estimate the number of boxes to about 50. most of them are grand and toy paper boxes full of books, cds and other various things. some of them have electronics (mixers, controllers,etc).
all in all, i think i need just slightly more space than a budget-type cube van, but note that if i can fit everything in except a box or two then i'm comfortable mailing what's left.
j
i should only require one mover. if it's possible, i'd like to also hitch a ride down with the truck. in all honesty, i'm considering the option of pro movers almost solely because i don't have a driver's license; i'm looking for a driver more than i am a mover. the actual moving itself is of minimal labour, and i'll be glad to help move the objects on and off of the truck myself.
so, this is what i'm moving:
- 1 bed
- 1 desk
- 1 recliner chair
- 1 bookcase
- 2 pcs (one has a standalone crt monitor, the other has an lcd in a box)
- 6,7,8? guitars. i can't even remember. most are in cases, a few are loose.
- 2 synthesizers (one in a box, one in a case)
- a boxed electronic drum kit
- two full stereo systems (receivers, standalone cd players, speakers, cassette, vinyl)
- i'm going to over-estimate the number of boxes to about 50. most of them are grand and toy paper boxes full of books, cds and other various things. some of them have electronics (mixers, controllers,etc).
all in all, i think i need just slightly more space than a budget-type cube van, but note that if i can fit everything in except a box or two then i'm comfortable mailing what's left.
j
Jessica Amber Murray
if it turns out that the cheapest way to do this is to get a budget rental van, drive down there, drop the van off and then send the driver home on the bus, would you be willing to be the driver? you could stay a few days if you want.
what i'm hoping i can arrange is for a trucker that's going through or to windsor to literally drop by their place, pick the stuff up and give me and the stiff a lift down. that would be cheap and convenient, but i'm not sure it's going to work out.
mom
OMG!...I do have a valid license...But...J...I have been drinking beer for days now!...And what about my Charlie Brown?...It would be a nightmare!.....Harley's are roaring outside like bangbuster gangsters right now....I think they are telling me it is not a good idea for me. Sorry.
Jessica Amber Murray
it's ok, i'll try to find somebody else.
mom
Sorry. I want to be helpful, but am unable for this.
if it turns out that the cheapest way to do this is to get a budget rental van, drive down there, drop the van off and then send the driver home on the bus, would you be willing to be the driver? you could stay a few days if you want.
what i'm hoping i can arrange is for a trucker that's going through or to windsor to literally drop by their place, pick the stuff up and give me and the stiff a lift down. that would be cheap and convenient, but i'm not sure it's going to work out.
mom
OMG!...I do have a valid license...But...J...I have been drinking beer for days now!...And what about my Charlie Brown?...It would be a nightmare!.....Harley's are roaring outside like bangbuster gangsters right now....I think they are telling me it is not a good idea for me. Sorry.
Jessica Amber Murray
it's ok, i'll try to find somebody else.
mom
Sorry. I want to be helpful, but am unable for this.
sears
From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address
i called sears and the process works as follows:
1) somebody calls and informs sears that the cardholder is deceased. i could have done that myself, but i decided to wait to talk to you about it first.
2) sears mails a check to the estate of the deceased person.
so, if there's a credit on the card, you just need to call (or i can call back) and tell them. they'll send a check to your house.
i'm still hoping i can access this credit. if you'd like, i can call. you could then sign the check over to me.
if you still don't want to do that, so be it.
as for the discussion last night, i want to reiterate that i do not want to fight over the next few days and that there will not be a problem at the funeral tomorrow or on friday unless you decide to create one.
j
To: stepmother’s email address
i called sears and the process works as follows:
1) somebody calls and informs sears that the cardholder is deceased. i could have done that myself, but i decided to wait to talk to you about it first.
2) sears mails a check to the estate of the deceased person.
so, if there's a credit on the card, you just need to call (or i can call back) and tell them. they'll send a check to your house.
i'm still hoping i can access this credit. if you'd like, i can call. you could then sign the check over to me.
if you still don't want to do that, so be it.
as for the discussion last night, i want to reiterate that i do not want to fight over the next few days and that there will not be a problem at the funeral tomorrow or on friday unless you decide to create one.
j
RE: Coat
From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address
if you're going to force me to make a scene, i'll make one.
j
To: stepmother’s email address
if you're going to force me to make a scene, i'll make one.
j
RE: Coat
From: stepmother’s email address
To: "'Jessica Murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
Ok....I will now have to notify the police of your intent!
You have now put me in a position where I will also need a police person here when you come get your stuff...
The will was signed by him and his signature witnessed at our lawyer's office in Nov 2011....
To: "'Jessica Murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
Ok....I will now have to notify the police of your intent!
You have now put me in a position where I will also need a police person here when you come get your stuff...
The will was signed by him and his signature witnessed at our lawyer's office in Nov 2011....
RE: Coat
From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address
if you try and block me from the funeral, i'm going to smash down every door and break every window in the place. if you try and remove me, i'm going to attack with intent to harm. if you send the cops after me, you'd better tell them that while i'm not armed i'm certainly violent.
as for the will, i would like to see it, please.
he wasn't himself after the surgery. you said so yourself. mental retardation may or may not be the correct term to use, but he was certainly suffering from brain damage as the result of repeated lobotomies. that term was used in confidence with my mother in a state of frustration and wasn't meant to be circled around to other people. the way you're throwing it at me is also taking it very badly out of context. a mentally retarded person, or a person suffering from brain damage due to lobotomy, is not incapable of forming intents and desires. in dad's case, it put him in a degraded position where he was unable to do basic things for himself, but it didn't prevent him from having ideas or thoughts. it just prevented him from acting them out.
we had this discussion when he was in the hospital with the blood clots. yes, he was highly medicated and not thinking clearly as a result of that. however, he was legitimately concerned that he was being placed under the care of people that he didn't trust to fully act in his own desires. he was strongly concerned about losing the ability to sign things for himself and that it may result in decisions being made for him that he didn't agree with. i carefully assured him that the role of the caretaker in such a circumstance is to ensure that they are carrying out the patient's desires, and that he could trust me to make sure that his desires were carried out.
to place my comment in proper context, i was talking about how his death was a release from suffering. he was in constant pain, he wasn't able to think properly, etc. the mental damage he incurred caused him great suffering. i'm a strong advocate of assisted suicide. i feel it's better to let people release themselves from a cage of existential suffering, should they choose, than to force them through to the very end. i know he wanted to fight, and he fought hard, but in the end he gave up, and i do feel that, after several years of suffering, escaping from that suffering, letting go of that pain, is something that should be celebrated rather than mourned.
i have a different perception of death, probably largely because i have a different perception of existence and a different perception of religion. it would be more enlightened for you to try and understand and respect that different perspective rather than to forcefully reject it as an other.
but, as i was saying before, you have never been interested in doing that. you see the world through your own limited perspective, and reject anything that doesn't conform to it. then, you try to coerce other people to see things the same way as you do through shows of excessive force.
i'd just like to see the will, please. i'd like to see if he actually signed it himself.
j
To: stepmother’s email address
if you try and block me from the funeral, i'm going to smash down every door and break every window in the place. if you try and remove me, i'm going to attack with intent to harm. if you send the cops after me, you'd better tell them that while i'm not armed i'm certainly violent.
as for the will, i would like to see it, please.
he wasn't himself after the surgery. you said so yourself. mental retardation may or may not be the correct term to use, but he was certainly suffering from brain damage as the result of repeated lobotomies. that term was used in confidence with my mother in a state of frustration and wasn't meant to be circled around to other people. the way you're throwing it at me is also taking it very badly out of context. a mentally retarded person, or a person suffering from brain damage due to lobotomy, is not incapable of forming intents and desires. in dad's case, it put him in a degraded position where he was unable to do basic things for himself, but it didn't prevent him from having ideas or thoughts. it just prevented him from acting them out.
we had this discussion when he was in the hospital with the blood clots. yes, he was highly medicated and not thinking clearly as a result of that. however, he was legitimately concerned that he was being placed under the care of people that he didn't trust to fully act in his own desires. he was strongly concerned about losing the ability to sign things for himself and that it may result in decisions being made for him that he didn't agree with. i carefully assured him that the role of the caretaker in such a circumstance is to ensure that they are carrying out the patient's desires, and that he could trust me to make sure that his desires were carried out.
to place my comment in proper context, i was talking about how his death was a release from suffering. he was in constant pain, he wasn't able to think properly, etc. the mental damage he incurred caused him great suffering. i'm a strong advocate of assisted suicide. i feel it's better to let people release themselves from a cage of existential suffering, should they choose, than to force them through to the very end. i know he wanted to fight, and he fought hard, but in the end he gave up, and i do feel that, after several years of suffering, escaping from that suffering, letting go of that pain, is something that should be celebrated rather than mourned.
i have a different perception of death, probably largely because i have a different perception of existence and a different perception of religion. it would be more enlightened for you to try and understand and respect that different perspective rather than to forcefully reject it as an other.
but, as i was saying before, you have never been interested in doing that. you see the world through your own limited perspective, and reject anything that doesn't conform to it. then, you try to coerce other people to see things the same way as you do through shows of excessive force.
i'd just like to see the will, please. i'd like to see if he actually signed it himself.
j
is mourning selfish?
if it's not selfish, what is it? well, the opposite of selfishness is altruism. can mourning be altruistic? i think it can be if there's a group aspect to it, if it's about helping others move on. there can be a shared catharsis. however, at the root of this is still selfishness. we need each other to help us get over our selfish responses of loss.
could it be neither selfish nor altruistic (i'm down with ternary logic for most real world applications)? in the sense that it's largely an uncontrollable reaction, perhaps. yet, i think this only applies to the initial reaction that happens upon learning of one's passing. the moment it gets dragged on past that initial reaction, it becomes selfish in the sense that it's a sort of self-pity.
now, let me throw in a twist: in the specific circumstance that a loved one goes through a lengthy period of great suffering before their death, can mourning be altruistic?
it seems to me like the clearly altruistic approach is not mourning but celebration. to really empathize with the loved one is to recognize that the suffering is over, that the cage of existence has been broken free from, that the hopelessness has ceased, that the horror has lifted....
what is altruistic about wishing a return to an existence of suffering? really, what could be more selfish?
so, is mourning ever *not* selfish?
if it's not selfish, what is it? well, the opposite of selfishness is altruism. can mourning be altruistic? i think it can be if there's a group aspect to it, if it's about helping others move on. there can be a shared catharsis. however, at the root of this is still selfishness. we need each other to help us get over our selfish responses of loss.
could it be neither selfish nor altruistic (i'm down with ternary logic for most real world applications)? in the sense that it's largely an uncontrollable reaction, perhaps. yet, i think this only applies to the initial reaction that happens upon learning of one's passing. the moment it gets dragged on past that initial reaction, it becomes selfish in the sense that it's a sort of self-pity.
now, let me throw in a twist: in the specific circumstance that a loved one goes through a lengthy period of great suffering before their death, can mourning be altruistic?
it seems to me like the clearly altruistic approach is not mourning but celebration. to really empathize with the loved one is to recognize that the suffering is over, that the cage of existence has been broken free from, that the hopelessness has ceased, that the horror has lifted....
what is altruistic about wishing a return to an existence of suffering? really, what could be more selfish?
so, is mourning ever *not* selfish?
RE: Coat
From: stepmother’s email address
To: "'Jessica Murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
There is a will and everything goes to me. If there were anything left to anyone else the lawyer would contact them directly .Anyway, how could you possibly take seriously anything that might have been discussed in passing with someone you considered mentally retarded for the last 6 months....
...and don't try me as I will call the police if I have to....You should know that!
Why pretend you care now? Or is it for an audience?
As well, I am paying for the funeral so it is my prerogative to ensure it is not disturbed by someone who is acting irrational!
To: "'Jessica Murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
There is a will and everything goes to me. If there were anything left to anyone else the lawyer would contact them directly .Anyway, how could you possibly take seriously anything that might have been discussed in passing with someone you considered mentally retarded for the last 6 months....
...and don't try me as I will call the police if I have to....You should know that!
Why pretend you care now? Or is it for an audience?
As well, I am paying for the funeral so it is my prerogative to ensure it is not disturbed by someone who is acting irrational!
RE: Coat
From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address
i would, however, like to know if my father left a will. if he did, i'd like to see it.
i understand that most of the wealth in the union was yours, and i don't want to take things that don't belong to me. certainly, $400 a month would eventually exceed his contributions altogether, let alone whatever he may have decided to put aside for me - i understood immediately that this was not a sustainable agreement and that it would eventually run out. however, i feel like he was trying to set something up that day in the bedroom, and that the agreement we came to was very important to him. he wanted to ensure i was taken care of because he's come to understand that i'm not fully capable of taking care of myself. notwithstanding the money that you did wire, which i appreciate, i'm a little disappointed that you decided to renege on the deal so quickly after his passing. i didn't think it would continue forever, but i thought it would be more than four months.
in truth, i'm just a little bit confused as to what he directed should happen and would like to take a look at his instructions myself.
...and i'd like to see you try to remove me from my father's funeral.
you're going to need a fucking army, or a lot of sedatives. i'll start throwing punches before i get led out. and i'll knock the fucking door down if you try and lock me out...
so, don't even fucking think about it.
j
To: stepmother’s email address
i would, however, like to know if my father left a will. if he did, i'd like to see it.
i understand that most of the wealth in the union was yours, and i don't want to take things that don't belong to me. certainly, $400 a month would eventually exceed his contributions altogether, let alone whatever he may have decided to put aside for me - i understood immediately that this was not a sustainable agreement and that it would eventually run out. however, i feel like he was trying to set something up that day in the bedroom, and that the agreement we came to was very important to him. he wanted to ensure i was taken care of because he's come to understand that i'm not fully capable of taking care of myself. notwithstanding the money that you did wire, which i appreciate, i'm a little disappointed that you decided to renege on the deal so quickly after his passing. i didn't think it would continue forever, but i thought it would be more than four months.
in truth, i'm just a little bit confused as to what he directed should happen and would like to take a look at his instructions myself.
...and i'd like to see you try to remove me from my father's funeral.
you're going to need a fucking army, or a lot of sedatives. i'll start throwing punches before i get led out. and i'll knock the fucking door down if you try and lock me out...
so, don't even fucking think about it.
j
RE: Coat
From: stepmother’s email address
To: "'Jessica Murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
I totally agree it is best that we no longer communicate. I will likely see you Thursday and when you pick up your stuff next week that will definitely be the last time. Although your dad asked me to be there for you that is an impossible request. If by what you refer to as not supporting your decisions means others should work to support you then you are totally right.
The way you have treated your father and the things you have posted about him are atrocious. As well the way you have treated your sister is unbelievably ignorant.
It's not all about you! I have lost my husband and your sister has lost her father. During a week when we are grieving you have caused us nothing but extra grief and stress. I do not hate you but I do pity you and hope someday you will realize all the hurt you have caused your family.
I have no intentions of arguing with you but take heed that if you are not on your best behaviour Thursday I will have you removed from the funeral parlour!
To: "'Jessica Murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
I totally agree it is best that we no longer communicate. I will likely see you Thursday and when you pick up your stuff next week that will definitely be the last time. Although your dad asked me to be there for you that is an impossible request. If by what you refer to as not supporting your decisions means others should work to support you then you are totally right.
The way you have treated your father and the things you have posted about him are atrocious. As well the way you have treated your sister is unbelievably ignorant.
It's not all about you! I have lost my husband and your sister has lost her father. During a week when we are grieving you have caused us nothing but extra grief and stress. I do not hate you but I do pity you and hope someday you will realize all the hurt you have caused your family.
I have no intentions of arguing with you but take heed that if you are not on your best behaviour Thursday I will have you removed from the funeral parlour!
Re: Coat
From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address
i'm sorry i sent that last part, i'm very edgy right now. i did just lose my father, who has also been my best friend for most of my life. we haven't seen each other yet, but i'm more than a little bit shaky. i'm moving out of the city and trying to find a way to not spend the entirety of that $1500 on moving (i'd even like to give the bulk of it back to her).
i got a little overwhelmed for a moment and should have chosen my words more carefully. if i could rephrase that....
i find the idea that you would need d or ferris there extremely insulting. i feel it's rooted in a vendetta rather than anything rational. whatever delusion it's rooted in is not remotely reflective of reality. it's the end of a long string of extremely insulting gestures from you that goes back many years.
i appreciate the things that you've done for me, including wiring me the money the other day. but i think it's going to be better for both of us if we go our separate ways next week and no longer communicate at all. i think i've tried hard to be accommodating and accepting of you as somebody that is drastically different than me, and the sum of what i've received back is a lack of respect for who i am and what i want out of life. instead of being supportive in my decisions and helping me reach the goals that i've set for myself, which is what a good parent or parental substitute should do, you've consistently tried to force your own perceptions and ideals upon me. when you disagree with a decision, you withhold support and/or try and sabotage it. i don't think it's healthy for us to continue under these conditions.
again, i'm sorry for the language i used. while i legitimately feel your tactics are sometimes hateful and sometimes childish, and often vengeful, there wasn't anything to be gained by being standoffish or confrontational.
it's just a few more days. i'd be happy if we could get through this without fighting. i'll promise to try my best to not start an argument, and hope the feeling is mutual.
j
To: stepmother’s email address
i'm sorry i sent that last part, i'm very edgy right now. i did just lose my father, who has also been my best friend for most of my life. we haven't seen each other yet, but i'm more than a little bit shaky. i'm moving out of the city and trying to find a way to not spend the entirety of that $1500 on moving (i'd even like to give the bulk of it back to her).
i got a little overwhelmed for a moment and should have chosen my words more carefully. if i could rephrase that....
i find the idea that you would need d or ferris there extremely insulting. i feel it's rooted in a vendetta rather than anything rational. whatever delusion it's rooted in is not remotely reflective of reality. it's the end of a long string of extremely insulting gestures from you that goes back many years.
i appreciate the things that you've done for me, including wiring me the money the other day. but i think it's going to be better for both of us if we go our separate ways next week and no longer communicate at all. i think i've tried hard to be accommodating and accepting of you as somebody that is drastically different than me, and the sum of what i've received back is a lack of respect for who i am and what i want out of life. instead of being supportive in my decisions and helping me reach the goals that i've set for myself, which is what a good parent or parental substitute should do, you've consistently tried to force your own perceptions and ideals upon me. when you disagree with a decision, you withhold support and/or try and sabotage it. i don't think it's healthy for us to continue under these conditions.
again, i'm sorry for the language i used. while i legitimately feel your tactics are sometimes hateful and sometimes childish, and often vengeful, there wasn't anything to be gained by being standoffish or confrontational.
it's just a few more days. i'd be happy if we could get through this without fighting. i'll promise to try my best to not start an argument, and hope the feeling is mutual.
j
sung with a bluesy swagger...
you meowed for an hour when i came in the door
(several bars of electronic chaos)
you meowed for an hour when i came in the door
(several bars of electronic chaos)
didn't know where i was, or if you'd see me no more
(several bars of electronic chaos)
you meowed for an hour when i came in the door
(several bars of electronic chaos)
just had a crash course at the school of hard knocks,
and all you wanted to do was smell my socks.
all you wanted to do was
SMELL MY SOCKS
you meowed for an hour when i came in the door
(several bars of electronic chaos)
you meowed for an hour when i came in the door
(several bars of electronic chaos)
didn't know where i was, or if you'd see me no more
(several bars of electronic chaos)
you meowed for an hour when i came in the door
(several bars of electronic chaos)
just had a crash course at the school of hard knocks,
and all you wanted to do was smell my socks.
all you wanted to do was
SMELL MY SOCKS
Re: Coat
From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address
i'm going to call sears in the morning. that credit shouldn't just vanish. can i ask how much it was? it does make more sense to get things in windsor, but there's a sears in windsor....
there's a stove and a fridge there, but the landlord has waved responsibility in dealing with them. given that he's only charging $650 rent all inclusive...that's going to barely cover utilities and property taxes. this place would be about at least $1200 here. he'd be losing money if he replaced them. well, that's windsor, for you; at least by renting it, he's not just paying out taxes. i haven't plugged the stove in yet, but he says it works. i may be able to use it. the fridge is broken....
i'll give her the coat back, but i think she's being very selfish. it's going to sit in her closet; i could be wearing it. hell, i'd rather see it donated to charity than placed in the back of a closet. that's the least useful option. and i think he'd agree with me. jewelry and pens and trophies are meant to kept for souvenirs; clothing is meant to be worn.
i should be able to lift the boxes myself, there's nothing heavy being moved.
i'm going to go to odsp tomorrow and ask about the moving supplement. the website claims it's discretionary. i need to know if there is anything that is definitely *not* covered, and what things are most likely to be covered.
one of the ideas i'm thinking about is renting space in the back of a large truck. like, getting a trucker to stop by and pick the stuff up, then hitching with the trucker down. i'd only do that if it's really cheap. there are websites set up for this purpose. so far, the responses have been very expensive, but i'm going to give that a few days to work itself out. i wouldn't be able to know too far in advance, but it would be some time early next week.
i also may end up shipping things out by train or bus, in which case i'd need to make multiple trips and/or ask you to help me get the stuff there with your van (if it's still around - i haven't seen it recently).
the other option is to ask my mother to drive a budget van down. with gas and a bus ticket back, that's going to cost roughly $450. that's not so bad for a most expensive option, especially if odsp covers most of it.
i'll try to get more info in the next few days. but i don't really have any interest in playing stupid games, and would appreciate it if you didn't stoop so low as to waste d's time with your hateful tactics of childish vengeance.
j
To: stepmother’s email address
i'm going to call sears in the morning. that credit shouldn't just vanish. can i ask how much it was? it does make more sense to get things in windsor, but there's a sears in windsor....
there's a stove and a fridge there, but the landlord has waved responsibility in dealing with them. given that he's only charging $650 rent all inclusive...that's going to barely cover utilities and property taxes. this place would be about at least $1200 here. he'd be losing money if he replaced them. well, that's windsor, for you; at least by renting it, he's not just paying out taxes. i haven't plugged the stove in yet, but he says it works. i may be able to use it. the fridge is broken....
i'll give her the coat back, but i think she's being very selfish. it's going to sit in her closet; i could be wearing it. hell, i'd rather see it donated to charity than placed in the back of a closet. that's the least useful option. and i think he'd agree with me. jewelry and pens and trophies are meant to kept for souvenirs; clothing is meant to be worn.
i should be able to lift the boxes myself, there's nothing heavy being moved.
i'm going to go to odsp tomorrow and ask about the moving supplement. the website claims it's discretionary. i need to know if there is anything that is definitely *not* covered, and what things are most likely to be covered.
one of the ideas i'm thinking about is renting space in the back of a large truck. like, getting a trucker to stop by and pick the stuff up, then hitching with the trucker down. i'd only do that if it's really cheap. there are websites set up for this purpose. so far, the responses have been very expensive, but i'm going to give that a few days to work itself out. i wouldn't be able to know too far in advance, but it would be some time early next week.
i also may end up shipping things out by train or bus, in which case i'd need to make multiple trips and/or ask you to help me get the stuff there with your van (if it's still around - i haven't seen it recently).
the other option is to ask my mother to drive a budget van down. with gas and a bus ticket back, that's going to cost roughly $450. that's not so bad for a most expensive option, especially if odsp covers most of it.
i'll try to get more info in the next few days. but i don't really have any interest in playing stupid games, and would appreciate it if you didn't stoop so low as to waste d's time with your hateful tactics of childish vengeance.
j
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
re: money
From: sister’s email address
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
Ok well let me know about the costs and the date. All your stuff is neatly organized and stacked in the garage so it will be easy to load up.
I'd like to come pick up the coat tomorrow afternoon if you're around. That way you don't have to lug it on the bus on Thursday.
Thursday morning I can pick you up at South Keys if you're there by 9:45am, because I will be doing the driving. Let me know if you'd like me to pick you up, or if it's easier to just take the bus right there (I think the 98 goes right there, but I'm not sure).
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
Ok well let me know about the costs and the date. All your stuff is neatly organized and stacked in the garage so it will be easy to load up.
I'd like to come pick up the coat tomorrow afternoon if you're around. That way you don't have to lug it on the bus on Thursday.
Thursday morning I can pick you up at South Keys if you're there by 9:45am, because I will be doing the driving. Let me know if you'd like me to pick you up, or if it's easier to just take the bus right there (I think the 98 goes right there, but I'm not sure).
Re: Coat
From: stepmother’s email address
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
The credit that was possibly mentioned was on your father's Sears card. Now that your father is no longer here that card can no longer be used so you will have to plan accordingly. It will be cheaper for you to buy your furniture etc in Windsor now.
I told you when I sent the money for your rent that was it from me. All your belongings (music equipment and boxes) are in the garage but I will need notice before you come so that D or my brother can plan to be here.
As far as the coat goes if it is worth alienating everyone over so be it but your sister bought it for your dad to wear at their wedding.
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
The credit that was possibly mentioned was on your father's Sears card. Now that your father is no longer here that card can no longer be used so you will have to plan accordingly. It will be cheaper for you to buy your furniture etc in Windsor now.
I told you when I sent the money for your rent that was it from me. All your belongings (music equipment and boxes) are in the garage but I will need notice before you come so that D or my brother can plan to be here.
As far as the coat goes if it is worth alienating everyone over so be it but your sister bought it for your dad to wear at their wedding.
re: money
From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address
i found a site called u-ship that apparently allows truckers to sell off empty storage space in their trucks. it's an auction type site, so i don't know what kind of prices are going to be offered to me. for right now, i just put up an ad for the grand & toy boxes. i'll see what kind of response i get.
ideally, i'd hitch a ride with the trucker on top of it...
it doesn't cost the truckers anything except time, so this could be super cheap.
To: sister’s email address
i found a site called u-ship that apparently allows truckers to sell off empty storage space in their trucks. it's an auction type site, so i don't know what kind of prices are going to be offered to me. for right now, i just put up an ad for the grand & toy boxes. i'll see what kind of response i get.
ideally, i'd hitch a ride with the trucker on top of it...
it doesn't cost the truckers anything except time, so this could be super cheap.
Jessica Amber Murray
so, i'm moving to windsor. it's just a lot cheaper. getting stuff down there seems like a bit of a challenge, though. nana mentioned that when you came to ottawa you had stuff shipped somehow. i'm thinking that seems like the best option. what was the name of the company you used?
the youngest aunt
Hi J, Just heard about your dad's passing and I'm really sad for you and your sister. Bob was always super supportive of me when I was a kid, especially around music. That's how I remember him. I have no idea about the shipping company I used. I just called around and got the best price. A move to a new city is exciting and brings all sorts of new possibilities. I hope you make a happy life there.
Jessica Amber Murray
ok. umm. did you use rail or bus? and approximately how much did it cost? i'm trying to do this as cheaply as possible and trying to get some kind of ballpark... the thing about my dad is that he was going through a lot of suffering near the end. well, the last several months. the last surgery seemed successful at first, but there were extreme complications from blood clots that put him in perpetual pain and some significant brain damage. what made the brain damage particularly difficult for him is that he was fully aware that his brain was damaged. so, even if he could have somehow beat the cancer (he couldn't have), he would have spent the rest of his life suffering with depression over a degraded mental competency. he wouldn't have been able to work again, and for him that was very key for defining a purpose. so, it's one of those circumstances where death was an escape from an existence that offered nothing but hopelessness and suffering. personally, i really dealt with all of these emotions in the months leading up to his death, and at this point i'm just glad that he doesn't have to suffer any longer.
the youngest aunt
Yes, it must have been very hard to go through all of that. Life is precious. I think I used a trucking company. It cost me $700. Cheapest way would be to drive it down yourself.
Heading uptown for jam night! Have you heard that I'm a rock star now? Hahaha!
Jessica Amber Murray
yeah, you said something about that. you should check out my friend's band, it’s the same idea with the three female singer-songwriters. well, it's sort of splitting up, they're doing their last show at the ottawa folkfest opening for vampire weekend. which is a helluva gig. but esa is coming to windsor, and one of the other girls is going to tunisia...
so, i'm moving to windsor. it's just a lot cheaper. getting stuff down there seems like a bit of a challenge, though. nana mentioned that when you came to ottawa you had stuff shipped somehow. i'm thinking that seems like the best option. what was the name of the company you used?
the youngest aunt
Hi J, Just heard about your dad's passing and I'm really sad for you and your sister. Bob was always super supportive of me when I was a kid, especially around music. That's how I remember him. I have no idea about the shipping company I used. I just called around and got the best price. A move to a new city is exciting and brings all sorts of new possibilities. I hope you make a happy life there.
Jessica Amber Murray
ok. umm. did you use rail or bus? and approximately how much did it cost? i'm trying to do this as cheaply as possible and trying to get some kind of ballpark... the thing about my dad is that he was going through a lot of suffering near the end. well, the last several months. the last surgery seemed successful at first, but there were extreme complications from blood clots that put him in perpetual pain and some significant brain damage. what made the brain damage particularly difficult for him is that he was fully aware that his brain was damaged. so, even if he could have somehow beat the cancer (he couldn't have), he would have spent the rest of his life suffering with depression over a degraded mental competency. he wouldn't have been able to work again, and for him that was very key for defining a purpose. so, it's one of those circumstances where death was an escape from an existence that offered nothing but hopelessness and suffering. personally, i really dealt with all of these emotions in the months leading up to his death, and at this point i'm just glad that he doesn't have to suffer any longer.
the youngest aunt
Yes, it must have been very hard to go through all of that. Life is precious. I think I used a trucking company. It cost me $700. Cheapest way would be to drive it down yourself.
Heading uptown for jam night! Have you heard that I'm a rock star now? Hahaha!
Jessica Amber Murray
yeah, you said something about that. you should check out my friend's band, it’s the same idea with the three female singer-songwriters. well, it's sort of splitting up, they're doing their last show at the ottawa folkfest opening for vampire weekend. which is a helluva gig. but esa is coming to windsor, and one of the other girls is going to tunisia...
re: jacket
From: sister’s email address
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
Thank you J. I appreciate it a lot.
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
Thank you J. I appreciate it a lot.
re: jacket
From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address
ok. i will absolutely give you back the jacket on that basis to hold as a keepsake, if you think that's more important than me having a nice winter jacket that i'll wear on a regular basis. i'm not sure i agree with the logic, but i'll prioritize your feelings over that.
j
To: sister’s email address
ok. i will absolutely give you back the jacket on that basis to hold as a keepsake, if you think that's more important than me having a nice winter jacket that i'll wear on a regular basis. i'm not sure i agree with the logic, but i'll prioritize your feelings over that.
j
re: jacket
From: sister’s email address
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
He walked me down the isle in that jacket. So yes, it has been worn. And that’s why I want it back.
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
He walked me down the isle in that jacket. So yes, it has been worn. And that’s why I want it back.
jacket
From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address
ok. so, i've thought about this...
i'm just going to ask you to think about a few things before i offer it back.
first, i like the jacket. it fits well with my beatnik style; it would look good with blonde hair and a bit of red lipstick. he gave it to me, but that's sort of not factoring into my thought patterns (other than that he gave it to me - he owned, he gave it to me, therefore it's mine). if you really, really want it, though....well, ok. just let me run a few algorithms through your brain first.
i haven't worn it yet. i was thinking it would be good for the fall, but in truth i usually wear sweaters in the fall rather than jackets. so i wasn't sure i would wear it. it's a little heavier than i thought, though - still too light for an ottawa winter, but maybe just about perfect for a windsor one.
so, if i give you this jacket back, recognize that i'm giving you back a really nice winter jacket that looks good on me and that i can't afford to replace. it's not sentimental from my perspective, it's functional. this is something i'd benefit from hanging on to.
1) do you want the jacket for your kid? that seems to be what you're getting at - his grandfather's jacket. ok. i'm willing to give it back on that basis. HOWEVER...he never wore this jacket. the pockets aren't even broken. it's not *really* his grandfather's jacket, it's a jacket his mother bought for his grandfather and that his grandfather never wore. if you still think the gesture means something, i'll give it back. but does it really? and is it really more important than me having a nice jacket?
2) if you want it for sentimental value to just hold on to, it's the same sort of thing. it's a jacket he didn't wear. it's going to sit in your closet forever. i think dad would rather i take the jacket and wear it than have it sit in a closet as a keepsake.
3) are you going to wear the jacket yourself? well, then we need to take about who would get the most use out of it. i'm thinking i would wear it as an every day winter coat. would you wear it more often?
4) did you want to give it to your husband? well, that's sweet of you. but, again, it comes down to who needs it and would use it the most. i bet he has lots of nice jackets. and he can buy a new nice jacket whenever he wants. me, not so much...
i know you're claiming ownership of it because you bought it. but, you gave it to him as a gift, at which point you lost ownership of it. he made a conscious choice to give it to me. so, it's now my jacket.
but, that's not important to me. if you're attaching something emotional to the jacket, that's more important than who it technically belongs to. *i don't really believe in property rights*. what i do believe in is the idea that things should be made the most use of. i think the jacket should go to the person ho will make the greater use of it.
that person is either going to be me or the kid.
to break it down to something binary: do you think the reasons you want it for the kid are more important than the reasons i want to keep it? if you can answer with an honest "yes", i'll give you back the jacket.
i can also give you some nice clothes i bought a few years before i went back into transition and basically never wore. there's a business suit from moore's in there, and some other stuff.
j
To: sister’s email address
ok. so, i've thought about this...
i'm just going to ask you to think about a few things before i offer it back.
first, i like the jacket. it fits well with my beatnik style; it would look good with blonde hair and a bit of red lipstick. he gave it to me, but that's sort of not factoring into my thought patterns (other than that he gave it to me - he owned, he gave it to me, therefore it's mine). if you really, really want it, though....well, ok. just let me run a few algorithms through your brain first.
i haven't worn it yet. i was thinking it would be good for the fall, but in truth i usually wear sweaters in the fall rather than jackets. so i wasn't sure i would wear it. it's a little heavier than i thought, though - still too light for an ottawa winter, but maybe just about perfect for a windsor one.
so, if i give you this jacket back, recognize that i'm giving you back a really nice winter jacket that looks good on me and that i can't afford to replace. it's not sentimental from my perspective, it's functional. this is something i'd benefit from hanging on to.
1) do you want the jacket for your kid? that seems to be what you're getting at - his grandfather's jacket. ok. i'm willing to give it back on that basis. HOWEVER...he never wore this jacket. the pockets aren't even broken. it's not *really* his grandfather's jacket, it's a jacket his mother bought for his grandfather and that his grandfather never wore. if you still think the gesture means something, i'll give it back. but does it really? and is it really more important than me having a nice jacket?
2) if you want it for sentimental value to just hold on to, it's the same sort of thing. it's a jacket he didn't wear. it's going to sit in your closet forever. i think dad would rather i take the jacket and wear it than have it sit in a closet as a keepsake.
3) are you going to wear the jacket yourself? well, then we need to take about who would get the most use out of it. i'm thinking i would wear it as an every day winter coat. would you wear it more often?
4) did you want to give it to your husband? well, that's sweet of you. but, again, it comes down to who needs it and would use it the most. i bet he has lots of nice jackets. and he can buy a new nice jacket whenever he wants. me, not so much...
i know you're claiming ownership of it because you bought it. but, you gave it to him as a gift, at which point you lost ownership of it. he made a conscious choice to give it to me. so, it's now my jacket.
but, that's not important to me. if you're attaching something emotional to the jacket, that's more important than who it technically belongs to. *i don't really believe in property rights*. what i do believe in is the idea that things should be made the most use of. i think the jacket should go to the person ho will make the greater use of it.
that person is either going to be me or the kid.
to break it down to something binary: do you think the reasons you want it for the kid are more important than the reasons i want to keep it? if you can answer with an honest "yes", i'll give you back the jacket.
i can also give you some nice clothes i bought a few years before i went back into transition and basically never wore. there's a business suit from moore's in there, and some other stuff.
j
Re: Coat
From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address
the jacket is unisex. i've had very similar red jackets that are clearly designed for women...
he gave me the jacket, and i like it. it's pretty sharp looking. i like the black; it looks good with blonde hair and red lipstick. i'm sort of a beatnik. i haven't worn it yet, i was putting it aside as a fall jacket. i was thinking it wouldn't be warm enough for winters in ottawa, but it should be warm enough for winters in windsor.
so, i sort of want to keep it. however...
the thing is i'm not really sure what she wants to do with it, either. if she wants it because of the sentimentality, i'm sympathetic, but i think it's better off being used than sitting in a closet (dad would definitely agree with that). if she wants to wear it, i guess we can talk about that and who thinks they would wear it more (it could be a regular winter jacket for me in windsor). if she wants it for her husband, i'm not sympathetic at all. he makes enough money to buy his own clothes. i don't. i mean, by giving it back, i'm giving up something that is very functional - a nice winter jacket that i'm not likely to be able to replace.
now, about that voucher. i don't want to fight about it, i just need to be able to plan accordingly. when we were in the bedroom the other day, you told me you had a voucher at sears and i could have it to get a couch. you didn't say how much it was. i was surprised and appreciative, but said something along the lines of that i'd take it in case i needed it for something else but i could probably just get some couches on the curb. as it turns out, i need at least a fridge (i'm still not sure if i need a stove or not). fridges are the kind of thing i'd rather get new, if i can. now, it's your voucher, so you get to decide what to do with it, but i just need to know if i can plan around that or not.
j
To: stepmother’s email address
the jacket is unisex. i've had very similar red jackets that are clearly designed for women...
he gave me the jacket, and i like it. it's pretty sharp looking. i like the black; it looks good with blonde hair and red lipstick. i'm sort of a beatnik. i haven't worn it yet, i was putting it aside as a fall jacket. i was thinking it wouldn't be warm enough for winters in ottawa, but it should be warm enough for winters in windsor.
so, i sort of want to keep it. however...
the thing is i'm not really sure what she wants to do with it, either. if she wants it because of the sentimentality, i'm sympathetic, but i think it's better off being used than sitting in a closet (dad would definitely agree with that). if she wants to wear it, i guess we can talk about that and who thinks they would wear it more (it could be a regular winter jacket for me in windsor). if she wants it for her husband, i'm not sympathetic at all. he makes enough money to buy his own clothes. i don't. i mean, by giving it back, i'm giving up something that is very functional - a nice winter jacket that i'm not likely to be able to replace.
now, about that voucher. i don't want to fight about it, i just need to be able to plan accordingly. when we were in the bedroom the other day, you told me you had a voucher at sears and i could have it to get a couch. you didn't say how much it was. i was surprised and appreciative, but said something along the lines of that i'd take it in case i needed it for something else but i could probably just get some couches on the curb. as it turns out, i need at least a fridge (i'm still not sure if i need a stove or not). fridges are the kind of thing i'd rather get new, if i can. now, it's your voucher, so you get to decide what to do with it, but i just need to know if i can plan around that or not.
j
re: money
From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address
there's no way that odsp will cover a ticket, though. i'll look around a little bit and explore a bunch of different options and let you know what the best thing to do is.
nana pointed out that there are ways to rent just a space in a big rig and that it's a lot cheaper. u-haul has a page for 'truck sharing'. that would avoid the need for a driver and avoid the need to pay gas. hopefully, that works out...
i'll send her a polite email about the voucher, but if i can keep moving as cheap as possible it will give me more cash for those appliances.
To: sister’s email address
there's no way that odsp will cover a ticket, though. i'll look around a little bit and explore a bunch of different options and let you know what the best thing to do is.
nana pointed out that there are ways to rent just a space in a big rig and that it's a lot cheaper. u-haul has a page for 'truck sharing'. that would avoid the need for a driver and avoid the need to pay gas. hopefully, that works out...
i'll send her a polite email about the voucher, but if i can keep moving as cheap as possible it will give me more cash for those appliances.
re: money
From: sister’s email address
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
You should call budget rental and get a price estimate, because I cannot get one online as the cargo vans are request only. There is a budget on Somerset. When you call, ask about NOT returning it to the same location; it might be cheaper for you to send your driver home on the bus or whatever.
I don't know what a flat fee is for that, but regardless you need a fully licensed, +25 driver, with a valid credit card, to rent it and drive it there and back. Gas for a vehicle that size is about 20L/100km on average on the highway, so for 1600km you're looking at about $435 for gas with the gas at $1.35/L in addition to the rental price.
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
You should call budget rental and get a price estimate, because I cannot get one online as the cargo vans are request only. There is a budget on Somerset. When you call, ask about NOT returning it to the same location; it might be cheaper for you to send your driver home on the bus or whatever.
I don't know what a flat fee is for that, but regardless you need a fully licensed, +25 driver, with a valid credit card, to rent it and drive it there and back. Gas for a vehicle that size is about 20L/100km on average on the highway, so for 1600km you're looking at about $435 for gas with the gas at $1.35/L in addition to the rental price.
re: money
From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address
argh. she said she had a sears voucher she'd give me.
like i say, i'm hoping i can get something at a flat fee + gas. even if the flat fee is $500, that's still way cheaper. i just need to know what size i should be looking for.
To: sister’s email address
argh. she said she had a sears voucher she'd give me.
like i say, i'm hoping i can get something at a flat fee + gas. even if the flat fee is $500, that's still way cheaper. i just need to know what size i should be looking for.
re: money
From: sister’s email address
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
Yes, I would like the coat please. Given that I am pregnant with a boy, it would be nice to have.
the stepmother has no idea what couch vouchers you are referring to. Maybe email her directly about that.
As for a fridge and stove, buy a used set when you get there, it will be much cheaper and easier. We got our in Petawawa for $150 for the set, and they have never failed.
Moving your stuff would most likely fit in a cargo/panel van, because you have no furniture to move. You'd just have to pack it well
That does not include the 1600km to get the van there and back at 0.49 per kilometre, plus gas. You also require someone over 25 with a full G class license, and most likely a valid credit card for the loss damage waiver. Altogether this will be at least $1100 and that requires you to move your own stuff. There is the option of leaving the van in Windsor and thereby saving the return 800km, but they charge exhorbotent fees for that, and many van rental outlets won't even do it because they are franchised and the trucks belong to them.
All the funeral arrangements have been taken care of. No need to worry about that.
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
Yes, I would like the coat please. Given that I am pregnant with a boy, it would be nice to have.
the stepmother has no idea what couch vouchers you are referring to. Maybe email her directly about that.
As for a fridge and stove, buy a used set when you get there, it will be much cheaper and easier. We got our in Petawawa for $150 for the set, and they have never failed.
Moving your stuff would most likely fit in a cargo/panel van, because you have no furniture to move. You'd just have to pack it well
That does not include the 1600km to get the van there and back at 0.49 per kilometre, plus gas. You also require someone over 25 with a full G class license, and most likely a valid credit card for the loss damage waiver. Altogether this will be at least $1100 and that requires you to move your own stuff. There is the option of leaving the van in Windsor and thereby saving the return 800km, but they charge exhorbotent fees for that, and many van rental outlets won't even do it because they are franchised and the trucks belong to them.
All the funeral arrangements have been taken care of. No need to worry about that.
re: money
From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address
...plus, if the dollars don't add up, i could always get a bar fridge, instead. it's not like i keep a full fridge. i'm the type that would rather get a few things i need for a few days at a time than get big shopping orders once a month.
To: sister’s email address
...plus, if the dollars don't add up, i could always get a bar fridge, instead. it's not like i keep a full fridge. i'm the type that would rather get a few things i need for a few days at a time than get big shopping orders once a month.
re: money
From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address
it's mostly the fridge. if it's almost enough for a cheap fridge, i can use the microwave. see, there's a discarded fridge and stove down there, but the fridge is useless. he said the stove is ok...
that probably sounds like a sketchy landlord. i don't think so. seems extremely fair, actually. drove me around town for a bit, even. really, he just didn't want to be responsible for replacing the appliances. seems like a standard rental thing, sure, but considering that this place would run for around $1200 + utilities in ottawa, and i'm getting it for $650 all inclusive in windsor, the profit margin on the rent is a lot lower. it's a bit of a shift in mindset: in windsor, property owners need to budget carefully, too. and, to be honest, that's fine with me, anyways. having a fridge and a stove is probably a benefit to me in the long run.
j
To: sister’s email address
it's mostly the fridge. if it's almost enough for a cheap fridge, i can use the microwave. see, there's a discarded fridge and stove down there, but the fridge is useless. he said the stove is ok...
that probably sounds like a sketchy landlord. i don't think so. seems extremely fair, actually. drove me around town for a bit, even. really, he just didn't want to be responsible for replacing the appliances. seems like a standard rental thing, sure, but considering that this place would run for around $1200 + utilities in ottawa, and i'm getting it for $650 all inclusive in windsor, the profit margin on the rent is a lot lower. it's a bit of a shift in mindset: in windsor, property owners need to budget carefully, too. and, to be honest, that's fine with me, anyways. having a fridge and a stove is probably a benefit to me in the long run.
j
re: money
From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address
well, i was sitting with the surviving uncle, the oldest aunt and his mother when he gave it to me if you want witnesses. if you really want it back, i dunno. let me try it on again and think about it. it kind of fits me perfectly, but i'm honestly not sure how often i'd wear it, if at all. if you think you'd make better use of it...
excluding the stuff i'm taking to windsor, i think the only thing i'd ask is that i get first crack on the records and cds. there's quite a few in there that have been important to me over my life.
i'm a little skeptical about sending her an email right now, but i'm in town and can help plan. so let me know if there's anything i can do.
also, she had said something about giving me a sears voucher for couches. i can pick up some couches somewhere for free and am fine with doing that, but the place doesn't have a fridge or a stove. that voucher was factored into the decision to get the place, i just hope it's close to enough. i'm happy with the cheapest fridge and stove on the market....don't need fancy ice makers and timers and stuff...
i have the keys and the lease here. i can move in whenever, i just have to call ahead to let them know when. you know how italians traditionally have two kitchens, one in the basement? well, it's sort of like that, except with a separate entrance downstairs. recently renovated - very nice fancy italian stuff with the big half circle separating the living room from the kitchen. two bedrooms. nice bathroom.
what i want to find is somebody that will just rent a van for three days at a flat rate + gas. i don't know if i can do that, though. i think mom might be willing to drive and stay the night (she's talked about wanting to go down there ever since i told her).
esa has a room in a house lined up. i've offered space, and am not sure if she's going to take it in the end or not. but it should be a very small amount of stuff, as well. some string instruments, a keyboard, clothes...
the amount of things here i'd add is negligible. the stepmother’s a moving pro. can you ask her to tell me what size of van i'd need to fit my stuff in so i can look for that?
the last thing i need to do is go down to odsp tomorrow and have a chat.
j
To: sister’s email address
well, i was sitting with the surviving uncle, the oldest aunt and his mother when he gave it to me if you want witnesses. if you really want it back, i dunno. let me try it on again and think about it. it kind of fits me perfectly, but i'm honestly not sure how often i'd wear it, if at all. if you think you'd make better use of it...
excluding the stuff i'm taking to windsor, i think the only thing i'd ask is that i get first crack on the records and cds. there's quite a few in there that have been important to me over my life.
i'm a little skeptical about sending her an email right now, but i'm in town and can help plan. so let me know if there's anything i can do.
also, she had said something about giving me a sears voucher for couches. i can pick up some couches somewhere for free and am fine with doing that, but the place doesn't have a fridge or a stove. that voucher was factored into the decision to get the place, i just hope it's close to enough. i'm happy with the cheapest fridge and stove on the market....don't need fancy ice makers and timers and stuff...
i have the keys and the lease here. i can move in whenever, i just have to call ahead to let them know when. you know how italians traditionally have two kitchens, one in the basement? well, it's sort of like that, except with a separate entrance downstairs. recently renovated - very nice fancy italian stuff with the big half circle separating the living room from the kitchen. two bedrooms. nice bathroom.
what i want to find is somebody that will just rent a van for three days at a flat rate + gas. i don't know if i can do that, though. i think mom might be willing to drive and stay the night (she's talked about wanting to go down there ever since i told her).
esa has a room in a house lined up. i've offered space, and am not sure if she's going to take it in the end or not. but it should be a very small amount of stuff, as well. some string instruments, a keyboard, clothes...
the amount of things here i'd add is negligible. the stepmother’s a moving pro. can you ask her to tell me what size of van i'd need to fit my stuff in so i can look for that?
the last thing i need to do is go down to odsp tomorrow and have a chat.
j
Coat
From: stepmother’s email address
To: "'jessica murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
I would really appreciate it if you would return this coat to your sister. She did buy it for her father as a Christmas present. As well it is a man’s coat so I am not sure why you want it anyway.
To: "'jessica murray'" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
I would really appreciate it if you would return this coat to your sister. She did buy it for her father as a Christmas present. As well it is a man’s coat so I am not sure why you want it anyway.
re: money
From: sister’s email address
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
No he didn't, and I bought it for him and want it back. Please bring it.
Should we expect you on Thursday? Have you signed a lease in Windsor?
To: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
No he didn't, and I bought it for him and want it back. Please bring it.
Should we expect you on Thursday? Have you signed a lease in Windsor?
re: money
From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address
he didn't lend it to me, he gave it to me. sorry.
To: sister’s email address
he didn't lend it to me, he gave it to me. sorry.
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