From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: sister’s email address
ok. so, i've thought about this...
i'm just going to ask you to think about a few things before i offer it back.
first,
i like the jacket. it fits well with my beatnik style; it would look
good with blonde hair and a bit of red lipstick. he gave it to me, but
that's sort of not factoring into my thought patterns (other than that
he gave it to me - he owned, he gave it to me, therefore it's mine). if
you really, really want it, though....well, ok. just let me run a few
algorithms through your brain first.
i haven't worn it
yet. i was thinking it would be good for the fall, but in truth i
usually wear sweaters in the fall rather than jackets. so i wasn't sure i
would wear it. it's a little heavier than i thought, though - still too
light for an ottawa winter, but maybe just about perfect for a windsor
one.
so, if i give you this jacket back, recognize that
i'm giving you back a really nice winter jacket that looks good on me
and that i can't afford to replace. it's not sentimental from my
perspective, it's functional. this is something i'd benefit from hanging
on to.
1) do you want the jacket for your kid? that
seems to be what you're getting at - his grandfather's jacket. ok. i'm
willing to give it back on that basis. HOWEVER...he never wore this
jacket. the pockets aren't even broken. it's not *really* his
grandfather's jacket, it's a jacket his mother bought for his
grandfather and that his grandfather never wore. if you still think the
gesture means something, i'll give it back. but does it really? and is
it really more important than me having a nice jacket?
2)
if you want it for sentimental value to just hold on to, it's the same
sort of thing. it's a jacket he didn't wear. it's going to sit in your
closet forever. i think dad would rather i take the jacket and wear it
than have it sit in a closet as a keepsake.
3) are you
going to wear the jacket yourself? well, then we need to take about who
would get the most use out of it. i'm thinking i would wear it as an
every day winter coat. would you wear it more often?
4)
did you want to give it to your husband? well, that's sweet of you.
but, again, it comes down to who needs it and would use it the most. i
bet he has lots of nice jackets. and he can buy a new nice jacket
whenever he wants. me, not so much...
i know you're
claiming ownership of it because you bought it. but, you gave it to him
as a gift, at which point you lost ownership of it. he made a conscious
choice to give it to me. so, it's now my jacket.
but,
that's not important to me. if you're attaching something emotional to
the jacket, that's more important than who it technically belongs to. *i
don't really believe in property rights*. what i do believe in is the
idea that things should be made the most use of. i think the jacket
should go to the person ho will make the greater use of it.
that person is either going to be me or the kid.
to
break it down to something binary: do you think the reasons you want it
for the kid are more important than the reasons i want to keep it? if
you can answer with an honest "yes", i'll give you back the jacket.
i
can also give you some nice clothes i bought a few years before i went
back into transition and basically never wore. there's a business suit
from moore's in there, and some other stuff.
j
