From: "Jessica Murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address
if
you try and block me from the funeral, i'm going to smash down every
door and break every window in the place. if you try and remove me, i'm
going to attack with intent to harm. if you send the cops after me,
you'd better tell them that while i'm not armed i'm certainly violent.
as for the will, i would like to see it, please.
he
wasn't himself after the surgery. you said so yourself. mental
retardation may or may not be the correct term to use, but he was
certainly suffering from brain damage as the result of repeated
lobotomies. that term was used in confidence with my mother in a state
of frustration and wasn't meant to be circled around to other people.
the way you're throwing it at me is also taking it very badly out of
context. a mentally retarded person, or a person suffering from brain
damage due to lobotomy, is not incapable of forming intents and desires.
in dad's case, it put him in a degraded position where he was unable to
do basic things for himself, but it didn't prevent him from having
ideas or thoughts. it just prevented him from acting them out.
we
had this discussion when he was in the hospital with the blood clots.
yes, he was highly medicated and not thinking clearly as a result of
that. however, he was legitimately concerned that he was being placed
under the care of people that he didn't trust to fully act in his own
desires. he was strongly concerned about losing the ability to sign
things for himself and that it may result in decisions being made for
him that he didn't agree with. i carefully assured him that the role of
the caretaker in such a circumstance is to ensure that they are carrying
out the patient's desires, and that he could trust me to make sure that
his desires were carried out.
to place my comment in proper
context, i was talking about how his death was a release from suffering.
he was in constant pain, he wasn't able to think properly, etc. the
mental damage he incurred caused him great suffering. i'm a strong
advocate of assisted suicide. i feel it's better to let people release
themselves from a cage of existential suffering, should they choose,
than to force them through to the very end. i know he wanted to fight,
and he fought hard, but in the end he gave up, and i do feel that, after
several years of suffering, escaping from that suffering, letting go of
that pain, is something that should be celebrated rather than mourned.
i
have a different perception of death, probably largely because i have a
different perception of existence and a different perception of
religion. it would be more enlightened for you to try and understand and
respect that different perspective rather than to forcefully reject it
as an other.
but, as i was saying before, you have never been
interested in doing that. you see the world through your own limited
perspective, and reject anything that doesn't conform to it. then, you
try to coerce other people to see things the same way as you do through
shows of excessive force.
i'd just like to see the will, please. i'd like to see if he actually signed it himself.
j
