Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Jessica Amber Murray
she's not going to be in the department after all, she's moving to england with a super bourgy boyfriend. those pictures don't do her justice; that was one very attractive lady. i've just been setting things up, it's been one project after another, and i still have a lot of things to do. i guess i haven't been smoking much. or drinking at all.
ESA
Sweet. Im excited for that too. Quitting smoking and drinking.
Jessica Amber Murray
that being said, i just realized i have two storage spaces and i'm going to put some chairs and a table in one of them and turn it into a smoking room. i can run an extra speaker set from the receiver out, and throw a bottle of febreeze in there - as long as the window stays open, i think it should be ok as a porch alternative. i think it used to be an entrance down into the place. it's sort of weird and hard to explain.
ESA
Haha cool.
Cant wait to see it.
she's not going to be in the department after all, she's moving to england with a super bourgy boyfriend. those pictures don't do her justice; that was one very attractive lady. i've just been setting things up, it's been one project after another, and i still have a lot of things to do. i guess i haven't been smoking much. or drinking at all.
ESA
Sweet. Im excited for that too. Quitting smoking and drinking.
Jessica Amber Murray
that being said, i just realized i have two storage spaces and i'm going to put some chairs and a table in one of them and turn it into a smoking room. i can run an extra speaker set from the receiver out, and throw a bottle of febreeze in there - as long as the window stays open, i think it should be ok as a porch alternative. i think it used to be an entrance down into the place. it's sort of weird and hard to explain.
ESA
Haha cool.
Cant wait to see it.
Jessica Amber Murray
i'm about to buy a dresser from a prof in the music department. i'll make to sure to tell exaggerated stories about you :P http://msjeffreys.weebly.com/
ESA
No!!! Tell her only nice things
Are you enjoying windsor so far? What have you been up to?
i'm about to buy a dresser from a prof in the music department. i'll make to sure to tell exaggerated stories about you :P http://msjeffreys.weebly.com/
ESA
No!!! Tell her only nice things
Are you enjoying windsor so far? What have you been up to?
Re: Reply to your "Dresser" Ad on Kijiji
From: "UWindsor"
To: "Jessica Murray" <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
Sure! Sounds great!
The address is ***************.
Ms Jeffreys, B.A., B.Ed.
Music Instructor
msjeffreys.weebly.com
To: "Jessica Murray" <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
Sure! Sounds great!
The address is ***************.
Ms Jeffreys, B.A., B.Ed.
Music Instructor
msjeffreys.weebly.com
Re: Reply to your "Dresser" Ad on Kijiji
From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: UWindsor
oh, ok. lol. the map sent me way out to the east end of town, somewhere about 5 blocks east of the bus.
i'm actually within walking distance, although i'll probably have to take two or three trips on account of the drawers. could i come by a little after 7:00 to see it with the near certainty of taking it?
jessica
To: UWindsor
oh, ok. lol. the map sent me way out to the east end of town, somewhere about 5 blocks east of the bus.
i'm actually within walking distance, although i'll probably have to take two or three trips on account of the drawers. could i come by a little after 7:00 to see it with the near certainty of taking it?
jessica
Re: Reply to your "Dresser" Ad on Kijiji
From: "UWindsor"
To: "Jessica Murray" <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
I'm available after 7 today. Also, I am right by a bus stop. I am located on Argyle and Wyandotte.
Sincerely,
Ms. Jeffries
To: "Jessica Murray" <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
I'm available after 7 today. Also, I am right by a bus stop. I am located on Argyle and Wyandotte.
Sincerely,
Ms. Jeffries
Re: it's very important that you're absolutely sure there's nothing left there
From: grandmother’s email address
To: "Jessica Murray" <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
I checked every where with a fine toothed comb,I vacuumed all around ,in the closets & behind the bookcases,there is nothing that you left behind.I did know you took my fan & wondered why you hadn’t asked for it.Are you all settled in now?Hope all is going well..bye bye.
To: "Jessica Murray" <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
I checked every where with a fine toothed comb,I vacuumed all around ,in the closets & behind the bookcases,there is nothing that you left behind.I did know you took my fan & wondered why you hadn’t asked for it.Are you all settled in now?Hope all is going well..bye bye.
Re: Reply to your "Dresser" Ad on Kijiji
From: Jessica Murray <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
To: "Ms. Jeffreys' Music"
ok.
next question: it seems like you're a bit of a ways from the nearest bus stop. would it be possible to either get the dresser to the nearest bus stop or (better yet) all the way to where i am, which is just east of downtown?
jessica
To: "Ms. Jeffreys' Music"
ok.
next question: it seems like you're a bit of a ways from the nearest bus stop. would it be possible to either get the dresser to the nearest bus stop or (better yet) all the way to where i am, which is just east of downtown?
jessica
Re: Reply to your "Dresser" Ad on Kijiji
From: "Ms. Jeffreys' Music"
To: <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
Hi Jessica!
It is just under 49" across.
To: <death.to.koalas@gmail.com>
Hi Jessica!
It is just under 49" across.
You have replied to "Dresser" Ad on Kijiji
From: Kijiji Canada <donotreply@kijiji.ca>
To: death.to.koalas@gmail.com
Hello! You have sent the following email to "Dresser" Ad on Kijiji:
hi.
i'm just wondering if you could measure how wide the dresser is? it looks about right, but i need it to be less than 50 inches across.
To: death.to.koalas@gmail.com
Hello! You have sent the following email to "Dresser" Ad on Kijiji:
hi.
i'm just wondering if you could measure how wide the dresser is? it looks about right, but i need it to be less than 50 inches across.
dresser shopping is proving irritating. on the one hand, i don't want to
put the money down at walmart. on the other hand, i don't want to pay
$200 for $20 worth of wood at a pawn shop. i'd be ok with paying $50 for
$20 worth of wood, at the very most, and am hoping kijiji bails me out,
eventually.
it's sort of ironic. i bet there are antique dealers shaking their head at these kijiji ads, saying "don't they know that's worth ten times as much?". if i was the dealer, i'd be out there buying the stuff up and marking it up on the floor, but then i'd be a special kind of asshole, wouldn't i? meanwhile, i'm walking through the antique shops shaking my head, saying "that ought to be worth a tenth of the price it's listed for, i bet i could get it cheaper on kijiji.".
so, what is the correct value of the thing?
if we're talking labour theory of value here, i can understand the cost as applied to a new dresser, but from my perception an old dresser is really legitimately just a chunk of worthless wood and these antique dealers are really running an unethical business...
it's sort of ironic. i bet there are antique dealers shaking their head at these kijiji ads, saying "don't they know that's worth ten times as much?". if i was the dealer, i'd be out there buying the stuff up and marking it up on the floor, but then i'd be a special kind of asshole, wouldn't i? meanwhile, i'm walking through the antique shops shaking my head, saying "that ought to be worth a tenth of the price it's listed for, i bet i could get it cheaper on kijiji.".
so, what is the correct value of the thing?
if we're talking labour theory of value here, i can understand the cost as applied to a new dresser, but from my perception an old dresser is really legitimately just a chunk of worthless wood and these antique dealers are really running an unethical business...
Monday, August 19, 2013
on happiness
Jessica Amber Murray
i spent a while this afternoon thinking about happiness and what i could possibly tell a young lady that struggles with depression about it's nature. on the less profound side of the scale, our lady peace released a mostly terrible record in the late 90s called "happiness is not a fish that you can catch". the bad corporate emo that the record contains aside, it's sort of a powerful statement that contains a lot of truth within it. on the more profound side of the scale, there's a component of marxist theory that explores the idea of happiness being a sort of illusion. this is one of the reasons i'm not a marxist, fwiw. but it's sort of accepted that the lives of workers are always going to be miserable and that the solution is to deny workers of the vocabulary and conceptual machinery necessary to understand the difference between happiness and misery so that they can continue on in a role of necessary monotony without ever understanding that something better may exist. basically, if the dichotomy between misery and happiness is simply denied then nobody can ever be miserable! marx' butchered concept of dialectics in equally butchered action. scary shit, yes. but, i think it gets closer to the more correct point, which is that happiness doesn't have an objective quantity, and that it's as possible to find happiness in slavery as it is to find misery in freedom. maybe the point of emancipation is merely recognizing that the whole discussion is more or less trivial and the entire idea of happiness is just an imaginary bourgeois fantasy. i guess how the individual reacts from that point of understanding is something that belongs to it. of course, that's easier stated than accomplished.
ESA
Yes i agree. I dont want or need to be happy, because i dont think that exists, i just want a little space from Ottawa so I feel i can think straight without reoccuring and terrible things happening. Im sick of feeling panicky because i live in a city full of triggers. I might as well try to live somewhere else. Its my last option. I am quite content with my decision to move, and i have been wanting to do so for a while. At least five years...
I find it very difficult to respond via facebook on my phone.
I got accepted to u of windsor tho. :)
Jessica Amber Murray
congrats on the acceptance :)
i spent a while this afternoon thinking about happiness and what i could possibly tell a young lady that struggles with depression about it's nature. on the less profound side of the scale, our lady peace released a mostly terrible record in the late 90s called "happiness is not a fish that you can catch". the bad corporate emo that the record contains aside, it's sort of a powerful statement that contains a lot of truth within it. on the more profound side of the scale, there's a component of marxist theory that explores the idea of happiness being a sort of illusion. this is one of the reasons i'm not a marxist, fwiw. but it's sort of accepted that the lives of workers are always going to be miserable and that the solution is to deny workers of the vocabulary and conceptual machinery necessary to understand the difference between happiness and misery so that they can continue on in a role of necessary monotony without ever understanding that something better may exist. basically, if the dichotomy between misery and happiness is simply denied then nobody can ever be miserable! marx' butchered concept of dialectics in equally butchered action. scary shit, yes. but, i think it gets closer to the more correct point, which is that happiness doesn't have an objective quantity, and that it's as possible to find happiness in slavery as it is to find misery in freedom. maybe the point of emancipation is merely recognizing that the whole discussion is more or less trivial and the entire idea of happiness is just an imaginary bourgeois fantasy. i guess how the individual reacts from that point of understanding is something that belongs to it. of course, that's easier stated than accomplished.
ESA
Yes i agree. I dont want or need to be happy, because i dont think that exists, i just want a little space from Ottawa so I feel i can think straight without reoccuring and terrible things happening. Im sick of feeling panicky because i live in a city full of triggers. I might as well try to live somewhere else. Its my last option. I am quite content with my decision to move, and i have been wanting to do so for a while. At least five years...
I find it very difficult to respond via facebook on my phone.
I got accepted to u of windsor tho. :)
Jessica Amber Murray
congrats on the acceptance :)
drugs are bad.
ESA
I think im having a full on meltdown.
Ive completely lost it. Ive been hiding in lenin’s room for two days. He hasnt been here. Its just because im scared to go to my house. I went to the hospital again two nights ago
Because i was completely panicking. And then i attacked two people in a full on rage. Two rape apologists, but still.
It took like 6 peoppe to pin me down. I was like the hulk. I am soooo confused.
And i dont remember who the second person was, but i remember shoving craptata, so it might have been him
Jessica Amber Murray
why are you afraid to go to your houseÉ has the initial event been confirmed as a meth overdoseÉ again, that sounds like meth psychosis, although i don`t want to discount underlying conditions and being rationally pissed off about upsetting things. i gotta restart, keyboard went french, brb.
ESA
I am still so distraught.
Bahhh and i am mortified because i freaked out in front of.everyone and basically confirmed to them that im a violent person. Even though that was the first time.
I was feeling a lot better for about two months, and now in worse than ever and dont even want to come to windsor. But staying in ottawa seems so.much worse. God, i hope nobody presses charges
Jessica Amber Murray
i don't have any suggestions about dealing with the after-the-fact complications of ending up with too much meth in your system, other than that there isn't really anything you can do about it or any way to know how long it's going to last for. i can't give you an uncharacteristic hug, either. i can suggest to not do hard drugs for a while? first things first, you probably need to find a way to make an escape from your ad-hoc barricade, there. when is lenin coming back?
ESA
I have no dignity left.
Hes here but is leaving for work in about an hour.
Jessica Amber Murray
i have to be honest that it's sort of seemed a little bit impulsive for you to move to windsor from the start. i had some very good reasons to move somewhere where the cost of living is cheaper. i'm on a fixed income, probably permanently, and ottawa isn't getting cheaper. you? you're at a better school in ottawa, you have family there....so there's a few assholes that don't like you. there's going to be assholes that don't like you anywhere you go. i've made a conscious decision to not judge or criticize your decision on this because i realize it's something that's reversible for you. you can always go home. maybe you really just need some space away, which is what you've been saying. we all need a little space, sometimes. but i think that if you're looking at it as a way to restart....(1) windsor is still within capitalism and still has the shitty people that capitalism produces and (2) a certain subset of things are going to follow you everywhere you go. ...and nobody can take your dignity unless you give it to them :P
ESA
Thanks for your brilliant fucking advice. I want to move because im sick of ottawa, and im sick of being abused and assaulted and freaking out all the time. I need a change somehow i think youre right. That no matter what i do, or where i go, there will be abusive assholes and i will be in an excruciating amount of pain. Thanks for.confirming what i already knew.
I am going offline now.
Jessica Amber Murray
you're welcome :). forever in debt... hey, i gotta go fax some stuff back to ottawa and go look for a dresser. i think you should go home and shower, or at least get some fresh air, and prepare for at least a few more days of feeling really unstable.
ESA
Ugh yeah sorry. Moving to windsor is because i need a break and a little perspective. Ive been here forever. Sorry for lashing out
I think im having a full on meltdown.
Ive completely lost it. Ive been hiding in lenin’s room for two days. He hasnt been here. Its just because im scared to go to my house. I went to the hospital again two nights ago
Because i was completely panicking. And then i attacked two people in a full on rage. Two rape apologists, but still.
It took like 6 peoppe to pin me down. I was like the hulk. I am soooo confused.
And i dont remember who the second person was, but i remember shoving craptata, so it might have been him
Jessica Amber Murray
why are you afraid to go to your houseÉ has the initial event been confirmed as a meth overdoseÉ again, that sounds like meth psychosis, although i don`t want to discount underlying conditions and being rationally pissed off about upsetting things. i gotta restart, keyboard went french, brb.
ESA
I am still so distraught.
Bahhh and i am mortified because i freaked out in front of.everyone and basically confirmed to them that im a violent person. Even though that was the first time.
I was feeling a lot better for about two months, and now in worse than ever and dont even want to come to windsor. But staying in ottawa seems so.much worse. God, i hope nobody presses charges
Jessica Amber Murray
i don't have any suggestions about dealing with the after-the-fact complications of ending up with too much meth in your system, other than that there isn't really anything you can do about it or any way to know how long it's going to last for. i can't give you an uncharacteristic hug, either. i can suggest to not do hard drugs for a while? first things first, you probably need to find a way to make an escape from your ad-hoc barricade, there. when is lenin coming back?
ESA
I have no dignity left.
Hes here but is leaving for work in about an hour.
Jessica Amber Murray
i have to be honest that it's sort of seemed a little bit impulsive for you to move to windsor from the start. i had some very good reasons to move somewhere where the cost of living is cheaper. i'm on a fixed income, probably permanently, and ottawa isn't getting cheaper. you? you're at a better school in ottawa, you have family there....so there's a few assholes that don't like you. there's going to be assholes that don't like you anywhere you go. i've made a conscious decision to not judge or criticize your decision on this because i realize it's something that's reversible for you. you can always go home. maybe you really just need some space away, which is what you've been saying. we all need a little space, sometimes. but i think that if you're looking at it as a way to restart....(1) windsor is still within capitalism and still has the shitty people that capitalism produces and (2) a certain subset of things are going to follow you everywhere you go. ...and nobody can take your dignity unless you give it to them :P
ESA
Thanks for your brilliant fucking advice. I want to move because im sick of ottawa, and im sick of being abused and assaulted and freaking out all the time. I need a change somehow i think youre right. That no matter what i do, or where i go, there will be abusive assholes and i will be in an excruciating amount of pain. Thanks for.confirming what i already knew.
I am going offline now.
Jessica Amber Murray
you're welcome :). forever in debt... hey, i gotta go fax some stuff back to ottawa and go look for a dresser. i think you should go home and shower, or at least get some fresh air, and prepare for at least a few more days of feeling really unstable.
ESA
Ugh yeah sorry. Moving to windsor is because i need a break and a little perspective. Ive been here forever. Sorry for lashing out
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Saturday, August 17, 2013
her money, her risk.
Jessica Amber Murray
i had a direct fax to my worker, but i lost it. the general fax line for the ottawa odsp office is ***********.
mom
K...I will write that down on a piece of paper and fax off uhaul and gas receipts to her. I am wondering though about the gas receipts?...I am not sure they will honor those...Thinking, that perhaps they won't. But the other I think they will.
Jessica Amber Murray
i don't think i'm going to get anything at all from them, to be honest. but i have to try.
mom
Yes..for sure worth a try!
Jessica Amber Murray
i'll probably have to try twice, as it's a city thing, and if ottawa rejects the claims, windsor might accept them.
mom
I will fax them to her and then mail them to you.
So...You can try on your end.
J.. I have a weird feeling that my father is not doing so well.
I just sent his wife an email asking how they are doing?
Jessica Amber Murray
well, call and find out. he has to be in his 70s, now. i guess that even if he is doing ok he's not going to be around forever sort of thing.
mom
He is 76 actually...Turned that in june.
No...I am actually wrong about that!...He is 5 years older than Nana...She turned 75 on her last birthday, a few days ago!..He is 80!
Jessica Amber Murray
wow.
mom
Yes..Nana turned 75 in august
I am going to be 55 in sept.
Jessica Amber Murray
i'm terrible with birthdays. that's the day before i left. well, i guess that's a good birthday present, hahaha.
mom
LOL
She misses you terribly!
Jessica Amber Murray
yeah, she might, but she was also trying to get rid of me from the time i moved in. which is understandable, really. i kept trying to explain to her that living in my grandmother's spare room wasn't exactly my life goal, or something i had planned for, y'know?
mom
Yea, I hear you...But whenever I talk to her...She misses you...She goes into her apartment and there is no-one there anymore...the room is empty and she is feeling the loss.
I am a bit off on their ages. Nana was 18 when she gave birth to me....My father is 5yrs. older than her....So I am aging them a bit...She, I guess had just turned 18...
I was born in sept, 1958.
And then the poor woman gave birth to my sister in aug, 1959!
My sister and I are the same age for a bit. I(as a child) would be so upset that her birthday would come first!...When, I was the older one...LOL.
i had a direct fax to my worker, but i lost it. the general fax line for the ottawa odsp office is ***********.
mom
K...I will write that down on a piece of paper and fax off uhaul and gas receipts to her. I am wondering though about the gas receipts?...I am not sure they will honor those...Thinking, that perhaps they won't. But the other I think they will.
Jessica Amber Murray
i don't think i'm going to get anything at all from them, to be honest. but i have to try.
mom
Yes..for sure worth a try!
Jessica Amber Murray
i'll probably have to try twice, as it's a city thing, and if ottawa rejects the claims, windsor might accept them.
mom
I will fax them to her and then mail them to you.
So...You can try on your end.
J.. I have a weird feeling that my father is not doing so well.
I just sent his wife an email asking how they are doing?
Jessica Amber Murray
well, call and find out. he has to be in his 70s, now. i guess that even if he is doing ok he's not going to be around forever sort of thing.
mom
He is 76 actually...Turned that in june.
No...I am actually wrong about that!...He is 5 years older than Nana...She turned 75 on her last birthday, a few days ago!..He is 80!
Jessica Amber Murray
wow.
mom
Yes..Nana turned 75 in august
I am going to be 55 in sept.
Jessica Amber Murray
i'm terrible with birthdays. that's the day before i left. well, i guess that's a good birthday present, hahaha.
mom
LOL
She misses you terribly!
Jessica Amber Murray
yeah, she might, but she was also trying to get rid of me from the time i moved in. which is understandable, really. i kept trying to explain to her that living in my grandmother's spare room wasn't exactly my life goal, or something i had planned for, y'know?
mom
Yea, I hear you...But whenever I talk to her...She misses you...She goes into her apartment and there is no-one there anymore...the room is empty and she is feeling the loss.
I am a bit off on their ages. Nana was 18 when she gave birth to me....My father is 5yrs. older than her....So I am aging them a bit...She, I guess had just turned 18...
I was born in sept, 1958.
And then the poor woman gave birth to my sister in aug, 1959!
My sister and I are the same age for a bit. I(as a child) would be so upset that her birthday would come first!...When, I was the older one...LOL.
more about moving the fridge
mackaye
How's tomorrow at noon? I can come by with myself and two other people.
Jessica Amber Murray
that sounds ideal. thanks again.
mackaye
What's the address? I know it's right by slevin (7/11).
Jessica Amber Murray
it's 805 marion st.
which is marion and...it's the second one south of wyandotte.
mackaye
Kk
Niagara, I think
Jessica Amber Murray
the one before niagara. it's cataraqui, i think.
mackaye
Oh, okay
How's tomorrow at noon? I can come by with myself and two other people.
Jessica Amber Murray
that sounds ideal. thanks again.
mackaye
What's the address? I know it's right by slevin (7/11).
Jessica Amber Murray
it's 805 marion st.
which is marion and...it's the second one south of wyandotte.
mackaye
Kk
Niagara, I think
Jessica Amber Murray
the one before niagara. it's cataraqui, i think.
mackaye
Oh, okay
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)