i should probably just laugh. well, i *am* laughing.

i needed a shelf for the top of my closet. it's a simple thing to do, in theory: measure the length and the width of the rectangular area, go down to the store, get a piece cut, bring it back: done. 15 cubic feet of new storage space, just like that. right?

well, i get the thing inside the closet and it won't fit. da fuck? measured the plate: fine. try one more time...still no good. da fuck?

ok, it won't fit squarely with the back. yet, i just measured it. da fuck? this is confusing. as a mathematician, i understand very well that the width and length of a rectangle are const....

shit. measuring tape confirmed it: not a rectangle. slanted at the back. to the store, i return....

dude laughs at me. rectangle? shoddy finishing? fuck. who do you think put it together, da vinci? every closet in the fucking world is crooked. no, this is your fault, precious: you should have measured all four sides.

ok. fine. i'll plead ignorance.

get it home. won't fit. shit, don't tell me..

yup.

dimensions of closet, clockwise:

27.5 - 30 - 26.5 - 31

yeah, well? fuck you too, plato.