From: "jessica murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address
i
got the message from my sister saying he probably wouldn't make it
through the night. i know i'm far away, but i also know there's not much
i can say or do right now.
i tried to explain to my
sister that i feel it's better for my own mental health to stay away
from everything right now. i don't think i can do anything for anybody
else, either. i've done a little crying over the last week, but i'm in a
stable mental state right now and i kind of want to keep myself that
way. when i get overwhelmed by things, i'm prone to extreme mental
collapses and irrational, outlandish behaviour. when i'm not overwhelmed
i'm the opposite; i suppose this is one of those times where i'm just
being incomprehensibly rational: i feel i'm at peace, that everything
that needed to be said and felt and released has happened, and that the
only possible result of being there would have been to create a level of
trauma that would haunt me for the next several years or decades. i'm
sorry, but i feel it's better for me to avoid that.
i
know this isn't the best time to ask, but i need to ask you to wire some
cash. i guess we talked about this, but my plan for first and last has
run into some complications. i was thinking i'd sign a lease for the
upcoming month, then get the lease to odsp. at that point, they'd give
me enough cash for first and last. however, it seems that the places
i've been looking at want the money before the first. odsp won't front
it. i could borrow the money from my grandmother, but the end result is
that it would be repaid from the money you're giving me anyways.
i
understand why right now isn't the best time to have this talk, but if
it's possible to send me around $2000 in the next day or two that should
be enough to let me get things in order and then some (in fact, it'd
give me significant breathing room). we can talk about how we want to do
the rest later (i'd prefer to let the $2000 be a five or six month
advance and then do it monthly, but we can talk later).
j
