it's funny how i can turn myself off and on like that.
i told myself i'd need to sleep before i could address inri031. and, i did - for 11 hours.
that's the other side of it, the crash. but, i've been all crash, lately.
these
discs are going to be closed soon, and that's a step forwards. but, it
doesn't change the fundamental need to organize all of this writing -
and all of these videos. in the end, it just means that i'll have that
much more organizing to do.
but, i've at least broken
the recursion. and, combined with all of the uncertainty around my
living arrangements, it may make sense to focus solely on the
discography for the next several months.
i am currently
waiting for the court date around what i believe to be a frivolous
eviction order. the reality is that i will not have much of any options
at all, should it go through. i'm going to end up living in a one-room
apartment for a while, or perhaps putting my belongings in storage and
living on the street. it could be years before i'm able to rebuild the
space.
if i end up homeless, i may choose to stay that
way; i may sell my belongings out of storage and end up living on coffee
and books in the local library.
the order should be
here by now. their legal counsel seemed to deny it ever happened. and, i
have strong reason to believe that they're selling the building, in
which case i should lay low and wait it out.
everything
will change should the notice end up in my box. and, i will need to
call on monday to figure out if the office received it.
but,
it wouldn't make sense to build custom shelves for the apartment - for
example - only to get evicted. nor would it make sense to spend the rest
of the money my grandmother gave me, because i may need it for last
month's rent and moving costs.
i can't afford to move
around all of the time. but, there isn't a long term solution on the
market for me, right now. i'd have to find a bachelor apartment - or
storage - and just cram everything in and sit and wait until something
better comes up.
first of all, i don't think they put
the court order through. second of all, i think i'd win the case - which
would re-open the previous harassment case. in the end, i'm still here
and they owe me a lot of money. third, i really do think that the
building is being sold, which was the gamble that everything i've been
doing always rooted itself in - all i had to do was wait them out.
for
right now, my immediate focus needs to be on finalizing what i was able
to complete over the last four years. and, i will no doubt look back on
this large order as a kind of necessary and welcome refocus.