did it really take two weeks to finish scripting and installing and organizing my recording pc? well, it's something i had put off. now's a good a time as any to finally do it. and it's finally done.
and i've been thinking.
i spent so long trying to scheme up a way to get myself in a position where i can basically just do what i want that, now that it's here, i'm sort of dumbfounded by it. how long is this going to last for? how long will it take to recreate these conditions if the shit hits the fan at some point?
i think i'm safe for at least a year, anyways. after that, i don't know. i'd better make the most of it.
it's strange that all this feeling of something new has given way to focusing on the end. morbid as always, jess. you get a new start on life and you're just obsessed with preparing for your own death. congratulations on missing the point. really.
....but the blunt truth is that i'm not going to get a third chance to get my recordings finished. if or when i end up back on the street again, there's not going to be anywhere to store my belongings. nor am i likely to find a way to repurchase them.
so, i'm finding myself in the mental state of absolutely needing to get all of the things i was supposed to do one day done *now*, as though there is no future left to plan for to do them in.
i've got a year of nothing but time, let's see what i can get done.
there's just so many half finished things. i'm going to start from the beginning. so, first up? listening to demos i recorded when i was fifteen and laughing at myself....
