ESA
I got drugged last night. Ive been tripping on some strong psychadelic for the last 8 hours.
For two hours i was twitching and saying "im so confused" .... Apparently it was possibly this guy named craig who did it
I feel so incredibly aweful and terrified
The rest of the time i was just like rolllng on the floor freaking out
Jessica Amber Murray
wait,
this was a non-consensual psychedelic trip? that's fucking horrific. of
all the horrible jokes you could play on somebody, putting them on
psychedelics without them knowing it is just about the lowest thing
possible. these are serious drugs with profound effects, damn it! and
you've indicated an aversion to this, ugh, that makes me twitchy fucking
mad. i hope you had a friend or two around, because that could have had
fucking scary, scary outcomes otherwise. i'm thinking like walking into
traffic sort of thing... i don't know if you remember bumpers or not,
it might be before your time, but it was a psychedelic/punk bar on bank.
i spent an acid trip on the floor there once. there's a point where you
sort of want to get up, but can't, it's like there's this weight
pulling you down and you're just stuck and you just have to wait it out.
that was really bad acid, though. ugh, ugh... have you figured
something out about leroy yet?
ESA
Yeah m still sort of tripping...
Im freaking out in the very least.
there is absolutely nothing more triggering than that. God i was doing so well there for a while
I also did speed and mdma with etan
lenin thought it might be a bad reaction
But i was.like straight the fuck up hallucinating. For two hours i was completely lost in my head and couldnt get out.
Jessica Amber Murray
essentially
all mdma/e you buy on the street is cut with an upper, usually speed,
and you never know who is cutting it. that's why i won't do it. you
really don't know what the fuck you're actually taking. mdma is broadly
safe, but if they put too much speed in, you could overdose on it. i
mean, i'd do mdma if i knew it was pure, but it's almost impossible to
know. mdma is technically a hallucinogen, if it was the same night you
might be able to blame it on that. or you might have bought something
you didn't intend on buying...
ESA
The thing is that etan had the exact same as me. And it is technically a hallucinogen but not realllyyy
Acid is a hallucinogrn
It could have been ketamine.... but i wouldnt be tripping out like lsd, would i? I definitely had a k-hole experience though.
jess
!!!!!
AHHHH
why does everyone think i'm sleepi9ng with their boyfriends all the time
Jessica Amber Murray
well,
you don't *really* know that etan took the same as you. i've never done
k, so i don't know, but i have heard about tripping out on e. were they
random hallucinations kind of thing? that's apparently the big
difference - acid and shroom trips have a theme, whereas mdma trips are
just like random, like it's the adhd of hallucinogens or something.
ESA
no like
I didn't know my name or where I was or anythjing
and I was twitching and completely incoherent for 2 hours
like unconscious almost
and
then I was rolling around on the floor. I don't remember specific
hallucination. it was more like entering a whole new realm.
so yeah, acid.
Jessica Amber Murray
that
doesn't sound like acid to me, unless it was extremely concentrated. as
far as hallucinogens go, it sounds more like something like peyote or
some kind of rainforest drug. k doesn't sound like a bad hypothesis.
...and maybe it's just 'cause you're kinda friendly? i remember one day
at an asylum party where you were all like 'jess, why doesn't he want to
make out with me", and i was all like "Well, how long have you known
him?" and you were like "a few hours", and we had a laugh. you're not
shy about hitting on people...
ESA
hahaha
I forget who that was
anyways no. I was with lenin the whole time
but yeah there was this creepy dude who thought I was hot
and tried to drag me away from lenin
Jessica Amber Murray
people
really scare me sometimes. you know, i still think i got drugged at
mugshots a few weeks ago. i don't blackout like that from drinking cider
and beer...that's a vodka thing... i'm glad you're safe and hope you're
feeling better. a good sleep should throw most of it off.
ESA
I am not feeling better
and my friend's girlfriend is harassing me
saying that I deserved it for all the bad things I do to people
and because I sleep with everyone's boyfriends
Jessica Amber Murray
right.
even if you did sleep with people's boyfriends, that's the definition
of slut shaming and...ugh. i don't even.. fuck ottawa.
ESA
god im like completely shaky I can't type
she;s this activist woman too
she's such a cunt
and I never say that. I save that word for special occasions
Jessica Amber Murray
she
sounds like she's a victim of patriarchal thinking. i admit it really
bothers me to hear shit like that from women, more so than from men.
like, what does she want? for you to wear a fucking A on your shirt?
y'know? has she not thought it through...ugh... but, it's enforced
thinking and blahblahblah...
ESA
yeah I called her out on it.
Jessica Amber Murray
good.
ESA
and she said that me wanting to smash the fuckers face in who did this wasn’t anti-oppressive or something
Jessica Amber Murray
i
can't get much context out of what you’re saying, but i think you have a
right to be upset for being told you deserved to be drugged. there's no
context in which somebody deserves to be drugged, and the person that
did it definitely deserves some kind of confrontation. there are a lot
of problems that can't be solved by group hugs and discussion groups.
the threat of force is something that is extreme, but sometimes it is
necessary. in this case? it sounds malicious, and if it was i agree it
deserves a beat down. at the VERY LEAST, she should have been able to
realize that you're understandably a little bit fucking livid right now
and that you might be making threats that you might think twice about
later. empathy? not much there.
ESA
ugh
my insides feel like they're shaking.
its positively vomitrocious
yeah its basically fear + anger
mostly fear. like 'what if someone didn't drug me and im going crazy'
'this is going to fuck me up for a while. great another set back '
Jessica Amber Murray
i think it sounds like a really good reason to get the fuck out of ottawa. are you playing in montreal tonight?
ESA
I dont know... i feel so much worse
Jessica Amber Murray
somebody suggested going to the hospital. erin, if you feel that's a good idea then you shouldn't second doubt it.
ESA
I cant get up
I keep fallig over
Jessica Amber Murray
erin, i want you to think very carefully: should you call an ambulance?
ESA
Well my dad is here. Im not sure.
Not sure if i have to go. They would just test my bloodd
Jessica Amber Murray
ok. i'm glad your dad is there. they might pump your stomach...
ESA
Idont get it. I took one pill of speed, and one pill of mdmq.
M y.cheecks are super swollen too. Like i was biting them
Im so fucking terrrified. This feeling wont go away
Jessica Amber Murray
you may have been clenching your teeth from the speed. swollen cheeks sounds like a possible allergic reaction, though.
ESA
What? They hurt though.
Jessica Amber Murray
have you ever done meth before? (i'm asking this for a reason)
ESA
Yeah by accident
Jessica Amber Murray
did you have a negative reaction to it?
ESA
No
I think i was.biting my cheeks hard
The swollen bits are right by my molars
Jessica Amber Murray
swelling is apparently a common reaction to a meth overdose.
and meth is often spliced with e. if you took meth + e + speed...
ESA
Yeh
Jessica Amber Murray
are you getting unusual heart rates?
ESA
Yeah.
It would maybe be.like 82 on a metronome
God this is disturbing.
Jessica Amber Murray
a
musician's response...i'm sorry, i have a very lucid sense of humour. i
think you should get to a hospital. meth overdoses can come on slowly.
and they can be fatal.
ESA
Really? Dont you have to be taking yhe drug?
Jessica Amber Murray
well, you'd have to take meth to overdose from it, yeah. it kind of sounds like you did.
ESA
Yeah but im not taking it now
Supposed to play in montreal......
my band mate is mad at me. She says i was being irresponsible.
Jessica Amber Murray
The
thing about meth is different users have a different threshold for
intoxication. Overdosing on Methamphetamine has many underlying factors,
cocktails of other drugs, complications due to chronic use, general
health, body mass etc. The threshold for lethal intoxication may vary
depending on the individual. The reaction in most cases is delayed it
doesn't come on as the drug is being smoke but after, an unexpected
cardiac episode, heart attack or stroke can strike with little warning.
What to look out for Sudden onset high temperature from dehydration and
heat build up in the body. Dilated pupils and convulsions. Muscle/Chest
pain. Sweating, rapid breathing, increased heart rate and blood
pressure. In circumstances when you think an overdose has occurred, give
fluids, rap them in a cold blanked dampened if necessary and call an
ambulance. Obviously CPR in extreme cases. Overdose can occur with a
single use so never be complacent.
i'm not trying
to be alarmist, it's just...that's kind of what it sounds like and i
want you to be aware that meth overdoses can happen well after
consumption.
i think you need to worry about your health right now, not whether you were being irresponsible.
ESA
Yeah
Jessica Amber Murray
The
less dangerous effect of methamphetamine psychosis is a confused,
disoriented state. Meth users may repeat the same common action over and
over again, such as repeatedly washing their hands or arranging and
rearranging everyday objects. They may also experience tactile
hallucinations where they feel bugs crawling on them, or feel something
moving under their skin. But methamphetamine psychosis can also bring
about extremely violent, destructive behavior. Users may have
frightening visual hallucinations, such as seeing wild animals or armed
aggressors coming to attack them. Meth addicts often suffer from
paranoia and become convinced they are surrounded by enemies. They often
hear voices, which commonly command violent or aggressive behavior, and
they can react to their hallucinations with intense aggression. Meth
psychosis can commonly last for days after the last dose of
methamphetamine was taken. In some cases it lasts for weeks or even
years.
ESA
Ambulance is here
Jessica Amber Murray
i don't want to say "good", but...
good luck? let me know when things settle down?
my battery is out, so i need to go home to charge, and i'm going to lose internet access. but i'll be back in about an hour...
