got a few hours sleep. the sun should be up soon. had to take off somewhere else.

i try to be compassionate to schizophrenic people. while it's something that is fairly mild and infrequent, i've been through my share of episodes. but sometimes the things that come out of their mouths are legitimately unsettling in a way i'm not able to deal with.

the surgical mask is a pretty common characteristic. there's germs in the air. in truth, there's enough smog and pollution in the air in most major cities to turn the question around: why aren't we *all* wearing air filters? i can absolutely see the logic in this.

his grandmother wasn't around, though. she's likely long dead (he looked roughly 50). even that's not such an upsetting thing to interact with. so he's talking to his dead grandma. like, i know he's *really* talking to himself, that's just how he does it. to an extent i'm doing exactly the same thing right now, really.

it's when the topic turned morbid that i got unsettled, because i didn't know what he had in his bag. see, supposedly the big tsunami a few years ago was some kind of spiritual event. i wasn't able to follow the narrative entirely (it wasn't fully coherent, and i was trying to get a little rest), but it seems to be that there were angels that came down during the tidal wave and that they spread from vancouver across north america. i'm ultimately going to interpret that racially, and assume he's talking about asian immigration to north america and speciously connecting it to the tsunami. as god is evil (he is constantly lying, and only a fool would trust him), the angels are by extension the enemies of humanity. it's up to the humans to fight the angels. that's not his fault, either - the blood is on god's hands.

now, even that in itself wouldn't be enough to incite me to leave. it would leave me a little perturbed, concerned, but i get that schizophrenic people are schizophrenic and they're working out whatever they're working out. i can't construct the specific narrative because i don't know the guy, but it's likely a perfectly reasonable allegory for whatever life events have left him traumatized - it's his confused way of understanding whatever he can't really understand. there's a way to decode the message, even if i have no idea how. that's fine.

unfortunately, i felt targeted, and started wondering if he may have seen my facebook post. i allow followers, and have dozens of them that i know almost nothing about. hey, i run a more interesting than average profile. i've temporarily switched this post to friends only for that reason. he kept talking about how he finally found "him" (no, we didn't have a talk about gender pronouns), and what happens next is on god's hands. the common themes of god's hands and violence made me very uncomfortable.

he was also talking about how there will never be another one like "him" and it's humanity's only chance and he's sorry grandma but...

he just kept saying "him". no further specification. but it seemed like he was looking for somebody and found that person, and i was the only other person there.

so, yeah, i'll be glad to get out of toronto. the bike he was riding isn't going to get him very far down the road.

maybe i should interpret it as a compliment. if i picked up his message clearly, he was calling me an angel.

...but if he walks in here, i'm going to freak out.