post not broadcast:
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2020/05/blog-post_28.html

would you hold in your urine? your shit?

no?

then why would you hold in your sweat?

post not broadcast:
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2020/05/i-need-to-be-able-to-sweat-in-summer.html

i need to be able to sweat in the summer.

it's so weird and unnatural - and unhealthy - to stop yourself from sweating. i don't understand why anybody would do such a weird thing to their environment and their body...

i guess it's a male thing, in the end, isn't it? men are taught to bottle everything up inside - their emotions, their feelings, and, i guess, their sweat, too.

but, they need to let it out.

they need to relearn to cry and stink at the same time, it would seem.

but, i don't want to turn off my glands - i want to sweat. and i will.

post not broadcast:
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2020/05/i-was-feeling-better-earlier-in-week.html

i was feeling better earlier in the week when the humidity first came in and warmed the place up, but i've been tired and having difficulty focusing over the last few days, as the machines upstairs have adjusted. i'm going to keep the windows open as the humidity falls, in order to short them out. if i'm stuck with cooler air one way or the other, i'd rather have fresh air from outside than dry air from the refrigerants.

it's different this year. last year, i was able to get outside quite a bit, so that when i did come in, i didn't notice the air as much. this year, i'm going to be inside for 98 out of 100 days and i'm going to need to find ways to acclimatize the surroundings. otherwise, i'm just going to sleep all summer as i hide from the air under hot blankets, and i don't want to do that.

for right now, i'm going to try to warm the place up by using the stove and then taking a hot shower. hopefully, i'll be more alert and focused when i get out of it.

post not broadcast:
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2020/05/im-so-distracted.html

i'm so distracted.

i haven't touched this since yesterday.

focus, jess.

post not broadcast:
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2020/05/im-halfway-done-final-cross-reference.html

i'm halfway done the final cross-reference, if measured chronologically. however, it's closer to being two thirds of the way done, if measured in terms of amount of content - more than that, really, because a lot of the posts left are very lengthy, and the remaining process is about running the 'compare' program in notepad++.

i might get this finished by noon.

right now, i'm stopping to eat.

post not broadcast:
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2020/05/im-moving-more-slowly-than-id-like-but.html

i'm moving more slowly than i'd like, but it's coming.

post not broadcast:
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2020/05/that-took-longer-than-i-wanted-to.html

that took longer than i wanted to because the 90s laptop is soooo sloooow, but i downloaded all four of the blogs to usb, and will be able to cross-reference them properly tonight.

it is, counter-intuitively, exceedingly cold in here. what i've done is open the windows, but it's only half-effective because so much of the problem appears to be in the piping. it's some kind of italian cooling system, or something - it's based on the weeping tiles. i'm sure of that...

so, it's 40 degrees outside and i'm wearing a sweater :(.

i don't have screens on the windows, but if i'm stuck inside all summer then i'm going to need to find a way to get some. i can probably just get a roll of something at home hardware next time i'm out.

for now, what i've done is tape over the windows and then poke holes in them. my first attempt wasn't enough, so i poked a whole bunch more in them. it's a balancing act - i want enough holes to let the hot air in, while still keeping the bugs out. i'm hoping the tape helps.

that should be stable for the next week or so. i won't be out again until the weather cools down a little.

for now, i'm overdue on a shower, but i'm starving, so i'm going to eat first.

there is a distinct possibility that there may be some uploads before sunrise. we'll see.

post not broadcast:
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2020/05/so-rebuild-is-done-and-i-need-nap.html

so, the rebuild is done, and i need a nap.

i'll need to cross-reference everything, but it looks like the politics archive is coming in around 230 pages, while the music document is coming in around 175. deathtokoalas is coming in around 90 pages. and, the travel blog is very short, as will be the norm.

let's hope i can get this published in the next 24 hours.

post not broadcast:
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2020/05/its-very-sad-that-were-finally-getting.html

it's very sad that we're finally getting some nice weather and there's really nothing to do outside because the government cancelled everything :(.

i have lots of work to do. i'll be fine.

but, it would be nice to go out and have a beer somewhere, and i can't.

posts not broadcast:
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2020/05/i-did-feel-better-this-morning-for.html
https://musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2020/05/is-there-connection-between-rise-of-neo.html

is there a connection between the rise of neo-liberalism (and the marketization and productification of everything) and a reality where undercover police officers legally smoke drugs in the house that they're supposed to be on a stakeout in, thereby pissing off the largely straight-edge yet supposedly dangerous radical that they're supposed to be spying on - and that knows they're being spied on because they can fucking smell the dirty, fucking pig smoking up?

i'm sorry if you don't see it, actually.