so, i have a tentative 72 page document done for inri023, but i appear to have flubbed the process the first time around (this is an lp, like inri015 or inri021, but i treated it like an ep, like inri022. i have to reverse that.) and will need to go through it very carefully to make sure i haven't missed anything.

unlike the last three updates, inri023 only has one html5 frontend in the package and will not include discarded remasters. that's something that was sort of unique to those specific recordings.

in fact, the html5 part of this should be pretty quick, i just have to actually get it done.

i think i'm going to take a nap just right now, though. i hope it's short...

inri022 updated and tested

this is tested and working on the chromebook and on firefox on the windows 7 box.

what's in there, now?

- the 10 songs on the record
- cover.jpg. this release is download only, because these tracks are thoroughly rejected.
- a playlist.m3u file stored as raw text
- a 23 page doc file of liner notes over the fall of 2013
- a 23 page pdf file (same)
- an instructions file
- inri022.html.7z.txt is a 50 mb document that must be renamed and unzipped and contains (1) an html version of the liner note package, including an html5 player that can load the purchased audio in the browser and (2) deleted masters of the record from 2013, in standalone 320 kbps mp3 and embedded into the html file.

the full download, in flac, is 304 mb.

there will be further updates to the liner notes as i run through the alter-reality, and as i run through the remastering period that took place over 2015-2016. but, this is likely the last major revision to this period 1.2 outtakes collection, which is nearing a point of final completion.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inrijected

it's time to stop to eat and shower.

so, i crashed this morning during testing. i'm up now and have finished testing the windows box. it won't be long before i'm done here and i should have a post up soon.

i'm still planning on getting to the dso, but it depends on timeframes. i might miss it. it's streaming...

the landlord/main-cop is back and the stinky cop seems to be gone. can i make a request to the force, which i know is reading this, to keep that gross, smelly cop away from here? surely, you can find a cop to stake me out that i can't smell from a distance of 100 yards?

very soon, and then i'll get back to inri023 when i get back, if i go.

it's done.

final testing.

soon.

there's one more after this...

this one is much shorter, and it will be done quite shortly. soon.

first liner note release for inri022

this is a collection of rejected tracks from the inri/inriched period. it's just chronologically sequenced. download only.

recorded over 1998. compiled and remastered in late 2013. released dec 27, 2013. corrected to normalize for stereo in september, 2014. expanded incrementally between dec, 2014 and dec, 2016. merged with inricycled b and then finalized and re-released on december 16, 2016. first liner note release added on feb 15, 2020, to include the initial 2013 release in 192 kbps mp3 only. as always, please use headphones.

this release will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (1996-1999, 2013-2020). as of feb 15, 2020, the release includes a 23 page booklet in doc, pdf & html, with an html5 audio frontend, that includes journal entries from the remastering process over sept-dec, 2013, as well as the initial 2013 release in 192 kbps mp3 only.

credits

released January 27, 1999

j - guitars, effects, bass, bass synth, synthesizers, vocoders, octavers, drum programming, sequencers, noise generators, sound design, vocals, found sounds, cool edit synthesis, digital wave editing, loops, windows 95 sound recorder, sampling, production.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inrijected

inri021 updated and tested

this is tested and working on the chromebook and on firefox on the windows 7 box.

what's in there, now?

- the 17 songs on the record
- cover.jpg & a jpg of the backsheet for cd-r printing (the insert for the spine)
- a playlist.m3u file stored as raw text
- a 126 page doc file of liner notes over the fall of 2013
- a 126 page pdf file (same)
- an instructions file
- inri021.html.7z.txt is a 175 mb document that must be renamed and unzipped and contains (1) an html version of the liner note package, including an html5 player that can load the purchased audio in the browser and (2) deleted masters of the record from 1999 and 2013, in standalone 192 kbps mp3 and embedded into the html file.

the full download, in flac, is 570 mb.

there will be further updates to the liner notes as i run through the alter-reality, and as i run through the remastering period that took place over 2015-2016. but, this is likely the last major revision to my second record, which is nearing a point of final completion.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inriched

it's time to stop to eat and shower.

i'm done testing on windows.

the chromebook testing should be relatively quick. soon....

ok, so i've finally got those typos i told you about on tuesday afternoon updated.

- i removed a "/p>" from the html frontend for inri002 and inri015.
- i removed an extra "</p>" from the html frontend for inri015.
- i unscratched out a track from the html frontend for inri015.

that's it. but, it means reuploading the 7z.txt package and redownloading the end point in flac for archiving.

inri002:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inricycled

inri015:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-3

the (hopefully) final update (for now) for inri021 should be up soon, i hope.

and, i may have to make some pasta in the wee hours of the morning because it's -30 out for the first and hopefully last time this year.

alright, i'm back up.

let's hope i can get this done before the debussy show.

so, after too much sleeping and too many distractions, i am actually finally done typesetting the html frontend for inri021, which is very similar to the one for inri015.

in the process, i found a couple of typos for inri002 & inri015 that i'll need to correct. these are just literally typos and they won't take long to fix but i have to do it.

and, then i have to take one last run over inri021, including doing proper testing to make sure it actually works. but, i'm at the very end of this. 

there are two more: inri023 (inrimixed) and inri022 (inrijected). and, then it's on to january, 2014.

but, i need to stop to get the recycle out because i've missed the last few, and i'm going to take the opportunity to eat and shower.

this idea that you know exactly who or what you are when you're like three years old is....

i think it's bullshit.

and, i think a lot of trans people are just telling doctors what they want to hear.

this whole thing is fluid, and people can and do change in either direction.

what i say is that i realized i was more like a girl very young, but, i don't pretend i had some kind of early childhood schizophrenia or something. i was a nerdy, bookish kid. i understood which genitalia i had, and wasn't confused by it.

so, i didn't go through this process that trans kids are supposed to go through, where you refuse to accept your birth gender. frankly, i think the literature is kind of lacking, and probably mostly bullshit. but, you have to feed the doctors a certain line to get prescribed, so you end up with a lot of bullshit in the case studies.

i'm willing to be honest in stating that i resigned myself to what existed, and internalized it. i didn't think i was a "girl trapped in a boy's body". rather, i just realized i had more in common with the girls than the boys, and then accepted myself as an effeminate boy and left it at that.

so, there are these songs - confused, screwed up - that were written and recorded when i was roughly 14-17 and are explicitly about gender identity, but they take this perspective of existential angst and dour resignation about it. i didn't think i could actually do anything about it. maybe i wished i was a girl, but i also wished i was rich, and wished i lived in a warmer climate and ... and these are just things one deals with, as reality is that you don't get everything you wish for, in life. and, i thought i could deal with it. maybe i even thought i'd grow out of it.

all i really was sure of at that age was that i wasn't really attracted to girls very much, and that i liked to spend a lot of time by myself.

i was 20 years old when i finally decided i had to deal with it somehow and took steps to transition by contacting a psychologist through the networks at school. i started taking hormones at 21.

i was basically completely emotionally stunted at this point, as i'd never had any kind of meaningful relationship with anybody, romantic or platonic. the best way to describe me is as suffering from extreme arrested development - i never went through the emotional development that most people experience during puberty. i had the sexual, emotional and romantic maturity of a 12 year old girl.

and, that lack of emotional maturity put me through a rough couple of years that dramatically altered the course of my life.

in the end, i decided on a solitary existence. and, i'm not particularly unhappy, i don't think.

but, don't misinterpret these songs - i had absolutely no sex life, and they just aren't about sex, and shouldn't be interpreted as though they are.

we all write about the things that are relevant to us in our lives.

and, sex and romance and relationships have broadly not been relevant ideas to me in my life.

actually, the truth is that the closest thing i had to any kind of sexual or romantic encounters until i was in my early 20s was a series of avoidance attempts.

i didn't tell anybody i knew in real life; i went to a catholic school, and if there was a group of gay kids, i never figured out who they were. i think there was maybe one kid that was openly gay, but he was also....he didn't take very good care of himself.

if you talked to the people i communicated with online during high school, and these were mostly older people that i knew through mailing lists for bands, people that were university aged or older, they would have told you i identified as a homosexual male, which in itself wasn't even quite right, but was what i was sort of resigning myself to at about the age of 16 or so.

so, i was actually the kid that identified as gay and didn't want to tell anybody, which meant i found myself constantly avoiding the girls around me, who interpreted me as a straight, single boy. i just didn't want to deal with it.

the point of this post is to explain why my songs have nothing to do with the kinds of things that kids usually write songs about. there are some songs that are explicitly about identity, but i've never written a song about love or romance or sex from any perspective at all because these simply weren't things that were relevant to me. i had precisely zero girlfriends or boyfriends in high school; i wasn't even interested in the premise. i was a virgin until my third year of university. i hadn't even experienced a first kiss until i was 21.

so, these songs broadly have absolutely nothing to do with sex or sexuality in any way at all, whatsoever, for the simple reason that i had absolutely no interest in sex or sexuality in any way at all, whatsoever - and broadly still don't. my gender identity is transfemale, but my orientation is asexual. i haven't had consensual intercourse in almost 15 years, and don't feel i'm missing out on much of anything.

what the songs are about are personal struggles with identity, social and political commentaries about things like war or religion and other literary or philosophical topics.

i would never be caught dead writing a song about love or sex.

first liner note release for inri021

the second record was always a...second record. see, the phenomenon of the underperforming second record is actually well-established. i just think it's worth thinking about what a second record actually is, in order to understand this.

a second record is necessarily the tracks that did not make it on to the first record.

i actually tried to resist this, but i was swayed by the argument (with myself) that the tracks would otherwise be lost because i was shifting in a direction away from the electro-grunge sound, and i would eventually go back and compile them anyways. i had enough raw sound for a full record, so i released a full record.

something that is common of second records is that they are uneven because the tracks are recorded at differing levels of attention. demos that were forgotten tend to get promoted without cause, while the tracks that show evidence of attention tend to seem overproduced, in comparison. in recompleting this record, i've paid attention to the uneven nature that the tracks initially existed in and taken an effort to close the gap where it was needed.

i've also removed two tracks from the initial recording due to a combination of technical and artistic incompatibilities.

while most of these songs have defined concepts underlying them, i have ejected these concepts from the final recording and left them in a series of singles, or behind altogether. i would prefer that this album be understood solely as the instrumental recording of electronic music that i am presenting it as.

written and demoed in multiple stages from 1993-1999. initially constructed in this form in feb, 1999. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reconstructed and resequenced over november and december, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016. re-released & finalized on dec 15, 2016. first liner note release added on feb 9, 2020 to also include the deleted masters from 1999 and 2013 in 192 kbps mp3 only. this is my second official record; as always, please use headphones.

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (1996-1999, 2013-2020). as of feb 9, 2020, the release includes a 126 page booklet in doc, pdf & html, with an html5 audio frontend, that includes journal entries from the remastering process over sept-dec, 2013, as well as the deleted masters from 1999 and 2013 in 192 kbps mp3 only.

credits

released January 25, 1999

j - guitar, effects, bass, bass synth, synthesizers, piano, octavers, drum programming, sequencing, found sound (paper crumpling), noise generators, sound design, cool edit synthesis, light-wave synthesis, windows 95 sound recorder, sampling, mic noises, digital wave editing, loops, a broken tape deck, chance, production.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inriched

so, it only ended up 126 pages because i removed a couple of images to be consistent with inri015.

and, it will be posted shortly.

so, the doc file for inri021 is done. it's 128 pages, and 90 of them are overlap with inri015, so the html frontend for this should be much quicker.

i just need to do a quality control check, and then the first liner note release of my second record will be up within an hour or two.

so, i've got inri015 filed away locally, now.

i'm going to make some pasta and watch last night's debate.

and, then, if i'm lucky, i might get the first part of inri021 up before midnight.