stoned again; don't want to be.

*shrug*.

can't do anything about it except drink more coffee.

i'm making progress on this.

it's been brutal in here all day, but i have no course of action at this point to resolve it besides running the hot water to try and steam the space out.

i don't understand why she won't go outside like a decent person would.

i hope that when the cancer does finally hit her, she has a long and painful death.

worst case scenario, i may have to go back to school to avoid getting a job.

like i say: i'm going kamikaze.

the first thing i need to do is consolidate my existing facebook posts, after the hook-up. so, i'll be copying my facebook posts into the master documents. i might be quiet for a few days.

i'm actually glad i didn't sign anything. i could have been in for a disaster scenario.

given that everybody knows that doug ford is going to slash disability, i'm at that much more of a disadvantage - if you're a landlord, and you know assistance is going to fall, why would you sign a lease with somebody on disability?

if he had put out a platform, we could at least plan around this. as it is, i have absolutely no idea how big my check is going to be a year from now, or what i'm going to have to do to adjust to less money.

the bottom line is that i don't want to spend my last six months or my last year fighting court battles.

i'm going to focus on completing the discography, and prepare for the worst.

that likely means i'll be staying in more, too.

i'm back in a race against time: how much can i get done before doug ford signs my death sentence?

i'm kind of back in the mindset i was in over 2014 & 2015.

what's the use in quitting smoking if you're planning on killing yourself?

but, then i got my disability renewed...

now, i'm not sure that's going to happen, so i'm back to planning for suicide.

i don't think i'm going to pick it back up. but, i'm falling into apathy around it. so, maybe it's making me sick and ruining my quality of life? i'm going to fucking die anyways, right?

as mentioned: i'm less angry and more embarrassed.

i can't believe so many of us fell for such shameless charlatanism.

and, now we have no idea what he's going to do, because he didn't tell us - we just have to look at the harris government's record and fill in the blanks.

again: doug ford is not some kind of new type of politician.

he's your standard right-wing ideologue - more like paul ryan than donald trump.

i should expect the worst.

yeah....i....

i have absolutely no idea what the government is going to do for disability amounts. i suppose there's an obscure possibility that they could put through the gai - which i was kind of half planning around. they claim they'll let the experiment through, but whether what ford says means anything or not is a coin toss.

they could freeze it, which i could deal with.

or, they could slash it by 50%.

the harris government was downright savage in it's attacks on social service recipients, so there's precedent for something very damaging. and, the economy couldn't handle what that would do, either - unemployment would shoot up to 20%. we'd be dealing with an extreme homelessness problem.

but, i expect the next four years to be very dificult for poor people in this province.

it does not make sense to do anything at all until i get some idea of what they're doing. the reason he didn't release a platform was because he knew people wouldn't like what he was cutting. but, that means i'm stuck in the dark.

i need to wait.

yeah, i...

i have no idea, right?

i get $1200/month. if i move somewhere in august, and that gets cut to $1000/month, i'll probably have to move again right away.

it doesn't make sense for me to plan to move until he announces how deep the cuts are.

i'll have to call to explain this morning.

i may just have to call my landlord to explain that i can't afford to move right now, due to instability in my income source - and all of this conflict is going to have to drag on.

so, what's going to happen if my benefits get cut?

i don't really know what the point of telling me to go work at a fast food restaurant is. there are people with kids that need the job. and, i'm not socially capable of dealing with anything more complex than that, either.

when working was a task, i could deal with it - i could go waste however many hours was necessary in order to save numbers to apply to some purpose. but, when you take away that task, and tell me it's forever, i'm left with what's essentially a death sentence - and the reality that i'd rather kill myself.

the problem is that i don't feel i'm done yet. i have a lot more work to do, before it's time to die. the question is whether i have enough time left to waste at a job or not.

i do think that it's a given that doug ford is going to cut disability rather drastically; this is going to hurt me quite a bit. and, i'm almost wondering if i want to cancel the court process in the short run.

i may have to make a call today.

that was a crash last night, but it was a healthy one.

i need to pivot starting today.

but, what i'm going to do over off hours is the following:

1) copy the existing music blog into the master music document.
2) copy the master music document into the complete master document
3) carry on with the same process as previously.

today, i need to vote - for the greens. get some salami. get some ventolin. & get to looking for somewhere else to live.

so, how do i want to do this?

on second thought, i'm going to need to sync everything up until the end of 2016 before i can release inri000, because that's when it releases in the alter-reality. yeah. & then i'm...ack....i'm going to have to catch up to where i am after all, so i can date the 1997 alter-reality posts to current posting. yeah...

*shrug*.

i should at least be able to start writing notes in the alter-reality by the time get through 2016.

i''ll also need to start editing vlogs again once i get to mid 2017. hrmmn.

it could be a while still, after all.

i have now reached the hook-up; the music blog, while incomplete, is abler to narrate back to mid-2013.

i'm going to continue to push forward with this for the rest of the night, but i must focus on apartment hunting tomorrow.

i still have two years and counting of rebuilding to do, but the focus of the process is going to shift, because i should be able to build the final liner notes for inri000, which means i should be able to get back to the alter-reality and build notes as i go for these release, as well.

so, i'm going to be rebuilding through 2016, writing alter-reality posts and closing the liner notes on discs, simultaneously. that should start within a week or two and run until i catch up on the rebuild up to where i am at the moment i catch up.

once the alter-reality is caught up, i'll try and keep on track with it in real time. &, if i'm lucky, i should be able to get started on period 3 shortly after the move.

so, this place in the end appears to be being utilized mostly as storage. i really wish the people around me weren't revoltingly disgusting, but so be it - i'm almost back on track.

the actual purpose of what i'm doing should be more apparent fairly shortly.

it seems that i would have to rely on precedent from bc if i were to go forward with this.

i do, in fact, have a puffer from exposure to second-hand smoke as a child.

https://bc.ctvnews.ca/pair-handed-8k-after-rights-denied-by-smoking-neighbours-1.809848

ok. i'm sure i'm up now.

15 hours of sleep.

you want to argue this isn't affecting my quality of life, my enjoyment of the property and, ultimately, my health? despite popular misconceptions to the contrary, the law is on my side here; i have all of the rights, all of the rules and all of the social norms on my side. smoking is not a right; that's an insult to the concept of rights.

it doesn't matter if you "believe" in rights or not. it matters what a judge rules. laws are not subject to personal beliefs, they're objective rules that everybody has to follow. and, it doesn't matter if you "believe" in the science underlying the action or not, either.

i don't believe in beliefs.

it's far easier for me to go after the property owners than it is to go after this woman, who appears to be a legit fucking dunce, but if i don't win the case against the landlord, i'm going to have to take her to the human rights board, directly. that's going to be time consuming, and it's going to drag on for a long time. but, somebody needs to compensate me for this rights infringement.

my understanding of the law is that there's two layers, here: the tenant-landlord layer & the human rights layer. i believe that the way the law is meant to operate on the tenant-landlord level is for me to sue the landlord, and for the landlord to recover costs by suing the other tenant, in turn (perhaps in small claims court, for negligence). but, if that fails, i'm absolutely planning to take her to human rights court and making her pay for her behaviour.

smoking inside an apartment building is no longer acceptable behaviour in the 21st century, and we all need to stand up for our rights to ensure people aren't getting away with it. i'd encourage everybody to utilize the tools available to them to crack down on inside smoking and get smokers out of residential areas and into the bars, where they belong.

no.

i'm still stoned.

still need to sleep it off.