i'm going to make my decisions based on what's best for me, not what's best for the people around me.
and, fuck you if you don't like it.
Friday, October 27, 2017
it's 5:30.
i'm still awake.
when i turned the machine back on, i realized that the internet was randomly unplugged. that's quite bizarre. i was only gone for about an hour. if i get set up for something over usage while i was out mailing the review, it's documented over my camera.
the review got mailed. these things are low probability. but i think it's a necessity to try it. if i'm lucky, i'll trigger something.
stalling is a valid tactic, right now.
i spent the afternoon doing laundry and cleaning, and will have a smoothie and take a shower before i try to sleep.
so, what am i doing?
the review process has to unfold before i consider an appeal. but, this has to revolve around the market.
if i find something comparable, or maybe better (third floor would be better - no cats at the window), i would have to move at it. the thing is that i think that this is unlikely to the point of fanciful - i'm probably going to have to wait for months and months before something comes up on the market that i can accept as lateral. and, then what?
my options are very restricted by my gear and my income. it's a contradiction: i need a place big enough and safe enough for my gear as the absolute number one priority, but i also need it under $700. and, i can't and don't want to go to fucking work.
i moved 700 km to take this place. it was very hard to find. i didn't intend to move out less than five years later. and, it could take me a really long time to find a suitable replacement.
if i don't or can't find a suitable replacement, i'm going to have to go to the court of appeal as a stalling tactic. i have until around the 20th. i can't and won't move thousands of dollars of gear into a place it will be stolen, and i can't afford more than $700/month.
the likely reality is that i'm almost certainly stuck here. and. i'm not concerned about what the people around me think about it.
but, i have to look....
in the mean time, i have to find a way to multitask, too. maybe if i do one release a day, it'll keep me moving.
i'm still awake.
when i turned the machine back on, i realized that the internet was randomly unplugged. that's quite bizarre. i was only gone for about an hour. if i get set up for something over usage while i was out mailing the review, it's documented over my camera.
the review got mailed. these things are low probability. but i think it's a necessity to try it. if i'm lucky, i'll trigger something.
stalling is a valid tactic, right now.
i spent the afternoon doing laundry and cleaning, and will have a smoothie and take a shower before i try to sleep.
so, what am i doing?
the review process has to unfold before i consider an appeal. but, this has to revolve around the market.
if i find something comparable, or maybe better (third floor would be better - no cats at the window), i would have to move at it. the thing is that i think that this is unlikely to the point of fanciful - i'm probably going to have to wait for months and months before something comes up on the market that i can accept as lateral. and, then what?
my options are very restricted by my gear and my income. it's a contradiction: i need a place big enough and safe enough for my gear as the absolute number one priority, but i also need it under $700. and, i can't and don't want to go to fucking work.
i moved 700 km to take this place. it was very hard to find. i didn't intend to move out less than five years later. and, it could take me a really long time to find a suitable replacement.
if i don't or can't find a suitable replacement, i'm going to have to go to the court of appeal as a stalling tactic. i have until around the 20th. i can't and won't move thousands of dollars of gear into a place it will be stolen, and i can't afford more than $700/month.
the likely reality is that i'm almost certainly stuck here. and. i'm not concerned about what the people around me think about it.
but, i have to look....
in the mean time, i have to find a way to multitask, too. maybe if i do one release a day, it'll keep me moving.
they claim it was a bureaucratic error.
that's the kind of thing that's a piss-off. i don't know what i'm doing, yet, but i just blew a week of opportunity because an incompetent judge couldn't push a fucking button.
let's start with the review and go from there.
i'm sorry, buyer, but i can't ship until i know where i'm living, or at least i know what i'm doing. i won't even be able to think about it. i don't multitask well...
that's the kind of thing that's a piss-off. i don't know what i'm doing, yet, but i just blew a week of opportunity because an incompetent judge couldn't push a fucking button.
let's start with the review and go from there.
i'm sorry, buyer, but i can't ship until i know where i'm living, or at least i know what i'm doing. i won't even be able to think about it. i don't multitask well...
well, then.
the landlord and tenant board does not have any record of this decision at all - as far as they are concerned, the decision remains outstanding.
i need to send copies of the documents to the london, ontario bureau.
it's possible that the adjudicator got eager and mailed the documents without sending it to the rotary. that would be kind of suspicious on her behalf, frankly. i think that would be a pretty big deal. i'd have to look into that.
i'm still leaning heavily on balls out fraud. and, i don't know how big a deal this is - beyond being able to cite it in future harassment proceedings.
it's the kind of thing that makes everything else look really bad, too. if i can demonstrate a fake notice, i can demonstrate complicity in the death of jfk.
the landlord and tenant board does not have any record of this decision at all - as far as they are concerned, the decision remains outstanding.
i need to send copies of the documents to the london, ontario bureau.
it's possible that the adjudicator got eager and mailed the documents without sending it to the rotary. that would be kind of suspicious on her behalf, frankly. i think that would be a pretty big deal. i'd have to look into that.
i'm still leaning heavily on balls out fraud. and, i don't know how big a deal this is - beyond being able to cite it in future harassment proceedings.
it's the kind of thing that makes everything else look really bad, too. if i can demonstrate a fake notice, i can demonstrate complicity in the death of jfk.
i'm in a situation to cause them a real mess. it's their own fault.
i can file an appeal with the appeals court. it could take eighteen months to two years. that stays the order - it's a two year lease.
mom is two years away from retirement, and she was supposed to go to the home after that. well, it's what they said.
dad is probably two years away from dead.
and, then they probably sell - if not before then.
i have 30 days from the 23rd (presuming this is all legit) to serve to the landlord, then ten days to file the appeal. i should be able to get the internal review done quickly if i send it this morning. then, i'll serve them before the 20th in their actual damned mailbox. i can get the files to the court before the first.
i'm going to have to spend some time every other day looking at options. if something workable comes up, i'll have to call. but, the point is that there isn't anything workable out there - that i'm stuck here.
it's not like i'm acting in bad faith, either. i know they're full of shit. sure, i'm stalling, but this is what they get.
i can file an appeal with the appeals court. it could take eighteen months to two years. that stays the order - it's a two year lease.
mom is two years away from retirement, and she was supposed to go to the home after that. well, it's what they said.
dad is probably two years away from dead.
and, then they probably sell - if not before then.
i have 30 days from the 23rd (presuming this is all legit) to serve to the landlord, then ten days to file the appeal. i should be able to get the internal review done quickly if i send it this morning. then, i'll serve them before the 20th in their actual damned mailbox. i can get the files to the court before the first.
i'm going to have to spend some time every other day looking at options. if something workable comes up, i'll have to call. but, the point is that there isn't anything workable out there - that i'm stuck here.
it's not like i'm acting in bad faith, either. i know they're full of shit. sure, i'm stalling, but this is what they get.
there's a far easier point for appeal, as well - the claim that the
tenant has the burden of proof, here. that's utterly ridiculous. yet,
there it is.
if you make a claim in court, you always have the responsibility to demonstrate it. it doesn't matter what the claim is. the presumption of innocence is consequently merely a rule of thumb. the judge may have confused herself over this.
(if this is a real case).
if the state is accusing you of guilt, you have the presumption of innocence. but, if the state is accusing you of innocence, you have the presumption of guilt. if the state is accusing you of tiredness, you have the presumption of awakeness. & etc. it's not some moral principle. it's an application of the scientific method; a kind of null hypothesis - you start with the reversal of x and you determine if there's enough evidence to overturn x.
so, when the writer of this paper puts together the words that the tenant needs to show on balance of probability that the landlord's claim is false, she's not understanding what those words mean - that only makes sense in the context of reversing the null hypothesis. there's no balance of probabilities in overturning an assumption - it's by counter-example. and, that's impossible.
so, no wonder she didn't consider the right part of the law - she has her burden of proof backwards.
the idea that what somebody says in court should be treated as true unless it can be proven false is some kind of weird, classist backwardsness, or...i don't even know how to get my head around it.
if the tenant had the burden of proof, then the landlord would literally be able to make anything at all up and dare the tenant to disprove it. that's not how our legal system works, or has ever worked - and hopefully it will never work that way. that's not a justice system....
i'm leaning strongly towards "fake". a few more hours...
if you make a claim in court, you always have the responsibility to demonstrate it. it doesn't matter what the claim is. the presumption of innocence is consequently merely a rule of thumb. the judge may have confused herself over this.
(if this is a real case).
if the state is accusing you of guilt, you have the presumption of innocence. but, if the state is accusing you of innocence, you have the presumption of guilt. if the state is accusing you of tiredness, you have the presumption of awakeness. & etc. it's not some moral principle. it's an application of the scientific method; a kind of null hypothesis - you start with the reversal of x and you determine if there's enough evidence to overturn x.
so, when the writer of this paper puts together the words that the tenant needs to show on balance of probability that the landlord's claim is false, she's not understanding what those words mean - that only makes sense in the context of reversing the null hypothesis. there's no balance of probabilities in overturning an assumption - it's by counter-example. and, that's impossible.
so, no wonder she didn't consider the right part of the law - she has her burden of proof backwards.
the idea that what somebody says in court should be treated as true unless it can be proven false is some kind of weird, classist backwardsness, or...i don't even know how to get my head around it.
if the tenant had the burden of proof, then the landlord would literally be able to make anything at all up and dare the tenant to disprove it. that's not how our legal system works, or has ever worked - and hopefully it will never work that way. that's not a justice system....
i'm leaning strongly towards "fake". a few more hours...
on second thought, if this is a real order, i'm going to challenge it.
The tenant did not relate the particulars of what happened but only mentioned that she was verbally threatened with eviction.
this is completely false - i provided the context of the previous court process. we spent quite a while discussing this.
given that the finding that there was no ulterior motive was made without considering the facts, and even attempting to ignore them by pretending no discussion was had, that's an error in law, and i can and will appeal this. that was the most important part of the case, and she pretended it didn't happen in order to hand wave away a s. 83.
she also claims one of the other emails didn't state a threat of eviction but only a "threat", which is what i was getting at with wilful blindness - as though it would be ok to threaten me, otherwise, and as though it doesn't have any effect on the case, right? i can dress a few of these up as errors given the first point.
i'm extremely skeptical, right now. this is clearly shoddy. and, that website is supposed to pull right from the database: it should update the same time that it prints.
The tenant did not relate the particulars of what happened but only mentioned that she was verbally threatened with eviction.
this is completely false - i provided the context of the previous court process. we spent quite a while discussing this.
given that the finding that there was no ulterior motive was made without considering the facts, and even attempting to ignore them by pretending no discussion was had, that's an error in law, and i can and will appeal this. that was the most important part of the case, and she pretended it didn't happen in order to hand wave away a s. 83.
she also claims one of the other emails didn't state a threat of eviction but only a "threat", which is what i was getting at with wilful blindness - as though it would be ok to threaten me, otherwise, and as though it doesn't have any effect on the case, right? i can dress a few of these up as errors given the first point.
i'm extremely skeptical, right now. this is clearly shoddy. and, that website is supposed to pull right from the database: it should update the same time that it prints.
i seriously may have received a false order.
i'm just comparing to the previous one. i mean, i don't know...
1) there is no stamp on the order.
2) the previous ruling took two weeks. this one took two business days. i'm happy to get a quick ruling, too, mind you, but, still.
3) these people are horribly dishonest. i'm absolutely certain they opened the letter for the previous decision. i was actually expecting something funny, here.
4) it's not on the web page.
5) "this order contains all of the reasons in this matter and no further reasons will issue.". there is then no "reasons" section. ?.
6) the signature is curious to say the least.
i dunno. very fishy. i must call.
this is what the website should look like:
this is what it does look like:
would they do this? yeah. and, they're in huge trouble, if they did.
i'm just comparing to the previous one. i mean, i don't know...
1) there is no stamp on the order.
2) the previous ruling took two weeks. this one took two business days. i'm happy to get a quick ruling, too, mind you, but, still.
3) these people are horribly dishonest. i'm absolutely certain they opened the letter for the previous decision. i was actually expecting something funny, here.
4) it's not on the web page.
5) "this order contains all of the reasons in this matter and no further reasons will issue.". there is then no "reasons" section. ?.
6) the signature is curious to say the least.
i dunno. very fishy. i must call.
this is what the website should look like:
would they do this? yeah. and, they're in huge trouble, if they did.
well, this is unusual.
i have a letter in my box, but the online tool claims that the case has not yet been adjudicated. i'll have to call in the morning.
it's dated to monday, which is when it should have been finished. there is a good possibility that there's a database error. there's a good possibility that it's a forgery, given that these people are persistent frauds and liars.
the ruling is ordering me to vacate by december 1st.
however, it didn't address my legal concern under 83 (3)(c):
(c) the reason for the application being brought is that the tenant has attempted to secure or enforce his or her legal rights;
this is supposed to be an automatic stop. and, it doesn't rely upon the question of good faith - even if the applicant is found to be in good faith (as they were, and as they may be), this is supposed to halt the proceedings in their tracks.
she did a balancing under 83(2) and she did it correctly. but she seems to be in error in not in contemplating 83(3) at all.
that said, she did state that the ruling of good faith is with no ulterior motive, and that would make it difficult for me to appeal - despite it obviously being wrong, and my case being quite well presented. she seems to have simply discarded the evidence i provided to her. that's why you don't want to put things in front of judges if you don't have to, they can decide what they want to accept and what they don't want to accept.
i might get lucky on finding a failing student that needs out for december 1st.
i disagree with this ruling - i think it was obvious that they're retaliating, and i made my case as best as was possible. i will be vigilant in suing them when i find out that their mother is not moving in - and she isn't. but, outside of verifying that this is the real case in the morning, i don't see a further course of action.
should i have carried on with the previous suit? it wouldn't have mattered much. they would have done this, anyways - it's why they were harassing me for months, because they wanted me out. and, if she was going to discard the evidence i gave her, she was going to discard the evidence i didn't give her - it wouldn't have made the case stronger than it already was. i gave her eight eviction attempts, and she just said the landlord has the right to hand out the notices - that's indescribable except through wilful blindness, when the ninth is an n12 on the same day as a previous case ended. if i had won the harassment suit, she'd just have said it doesn't matter because it's a different suit. and, how do you prove this beyond circumstantially, short of a recording? you have to rely on the judge to draw obvious inferences, and this one refused to do that. also, i wouldn't have been able to keep the money, remember - i'd have to give it back to odsp. it was about trying to stop the persistent harassment by standing up for myself, not about turning a profit. the other option was to keep getting harassed, which is a non-choice. and, while it failed, it provided me with the documentation i required for the case. i think i made the right choice in hoping it would blow over - if i had won, i'd have gained nothing of value because they were too fucking stubborn to listen (that was the sad realization i had to grapple with.). and, of course, i couldn't let the situation fester, i couldn't let them keep harassing me to try and push me out until they succeeded, i had to react in some sense.
this is a part of the law that shouldn't exist. but, it does exist. and, i got a shitty judge that either didn't want to see the obvious or didn't care what the obvious was. the next step has to be for me to find somewhere else to stay, and then sue them for damages and dishonesty once i get there - and that's going to be expensive on their behalf, you can be sure.
i'm also going to have to start from square one with the air quality. ugh.
i have a letter in my box, but the online tool claims that the case has not yet been adjudicated. i'll have to call in the morning.
it's dated to monday, which is when it should have been finished. there is a good possibility that there's a database error. there's a good possibility that it's a forgery, given that these people are persistent frauds and liars.
the ruling is ordering me to vacate by december 1st.
however, it didn't address my legal concern under 83 (3)(c):
(c) the reason for the application being brought is that the tenant has attempted to secure or enforce his or her legal rights;
this is supposed to be an automatic stop. and, it doesn't rely upon the question of good faith - even if the applicant is found to be in good faith (as they were, and as they may be), this is supposed to halt the proceedings in their tracks.
she did a balancing under 83(2) and she did it correctly. but she seems to be in error in not in contemplating 83(3) at all.
that said, she did state that the ruling of good faith is with no ulterior motive, and that would make it difficult for me to appeal - despite it obviously being wrong, and my case being quite well presented. she seems to have simply discarded the evidence i provided to her. that's why you don't want to put things in front of judges if you don't have to, they can decide what they want to accept and what they don't want to accept.
i might get lucky on finding a failing student that needs out for december 1st.
i disagree with this ruling - i think it was obvious that they're retaliating, and i made my case as best as was possible. i will be vigilant in suing them when i find out that their mother is not moving in - and she isn't. but, outside of verifying that this is the real case in the morning, i don't see a further course of action.
should i have carried on with the previous suit? it wouldn't have mattered much. they would have done this, anyways - it's why they were harassing me for months, because they wanted me out. and, if she was going to discard the evidence i gave her, she was going to discard the evidence i didn't give her - it wouldn't have made the case stronger than it already was. i gave her eight eviction attempts, and she just said the landlord has the right to hand out the notices - that's indescribable except through wilful blindness, when the ninth is an n12 on the same day as a previous case ended. if i had won the harassment suit, she'd just have said it doesn't matter because it's a different suit. and, how do you prove this beyond circumstantially, short of a recording? you have to rely on the judge to draw obvious inferences, and this one refused to do that. also, i wouldn't have been able to keep the money, remember - i'd have to give it back to odsp. it was about trying to stop the persistent harassment by standing up for myself, not about turning a profit. the other option was to keep getting harassed, which is a non-choice. and, while it failed, it provided me with the documentation i required for the case. i think i made the right choice in hoping it would blow over - if i had won, i'd have gained nothing of value because they were too fucking stubborn to listen (that was the sad realization i had to grapple with.). and, of course, i couldn't let the situation fester, i couldn't let them keep harassing me to try and push me out until they succeeded, i had to react in some sense.
this is a part of the law that shouldn't exist. but, it does exist. and, i got a shitty judge that either didn't want to see the obvious or didn't care what the obvious was. the next step has to be for me to find somewhere else to stay, and then sue them for damages and dishonesty once i get there - and that's going to be expensive on their behalf, you can be sure.
i'm also going to have to start from square one with the air quality. ugh.
Thursday, October 26, 2017
i don't work well under pressure. i day dream. i procrastinate.
i'm a shitty employee, and not ashamed about it.
i'm more interested in creating realities where people can create free of coercive influence than i am in contorting myself into some mental gymnastic that sees value in extorting people for profit...
...and i needed a nap.
that's what happens when i'm under pressure: i get sleepy.
it's consistent, actually. predictable. dead line tomorrow? big project due in the morning? i'm probably snoozing somewhere. and, i'm not going to pretend i really care when i wake up, either.
call me depressed, but i don't want your drugs. i want to abolish the conditions that you think spur productivity, because they don't - they just create unnecessary stress.
still no ruling.
i hope the judge doesn't think she's doing me a favour in stretching the ruling out, if she's going to give me 11 days at the end. i haven't done a thing to prepare to move. and, i'm not going to do so until i get the court order - because it's not the landlord that has the legal authority, here, it's the judge.
if she's stalling into november to give me until december 1st, i guess that's a net benefit. but, if she thinks she's just giving me extra days, she's misinterpreting my grasp of the scenario: i'm in this to win, outright.
i'm going to try to get back to filing, but i might fall back asleep. we'll see.
apologies to the guy with the order, but i'm kind of useless at the moment.
and, i'll remind you that if i win i will be immediately countersuing. if it's into november, that's another $670.
i'm a shitty employee, and not ashamed about it.
i'm more interested in creating realities where people can create free of coercive influence than i am in contorting myself into some mental gymnastic that sees value in extorting people for profit...
...and i needed a nap.
that's what happens when i'm under pressure: i get sleepy.
it's consistent, actually. predictable. dead line tomorrow? big project due in the morning? i'm probably snoozing somewhere. and, i'm not going to pretend i really care when i wake up, either.
call me depressed, but i don't want your drugs. i want to abolish the conditions that you think spur productivity, because they don't - they just create unnecessary stress.
still no ruling.
i hope the judge doesn't think she's doing me a favour in stretching the ruling out, if she's going to give me 11 days at the end. i haven't done a thing to prepare to move. and, i'm not going to do so until i get the court order - because it's not the landlord that has the legal authority, here, it's the judge.
if she's stalling into november to give me until december 1st, i guess that's a net benefit. but, if she thinks she's just giving me extra days, she's misinterpreting my grasp of the scenario: i'm in this to win, outright.
i'm going to try to get back to filing, but i might fall back asleep. we'll see.
apologies to the guy with the order, but i'm kind of useless at the moment.
and, i'll remind you that if i win i will be immediately countersuing. if it's into november, that's another $670.
i think i should take it as a good sign that i don't have the ruling in, yet.
i'm not talking about the mail; i can check the database in real time. she said tuesday or wednesday.
it's thursday afternoon; she's taking her time. i couldn't imagine why she would need to do that if she wasn't researching, and that only really make sense if she's dismissing, or at least sees an excellent reason to consider it.
there's another interpretation, though. the landlord decided to argue with the judge at the last minute about how she has "property rights" (she doesn't.), and tried to guilt her over her mom (i think she's full of shit.). that was stupid all around, and especially stupid in a case like this where the judge has reason to doubt her - to risk that the judge might conclude the complainant was essentially trying to sucker her into a quick ruling is another thing she didn't have to do, but did. if the judge comes around to my side, she may interact with that memory very poorly. but, she also might just be trying to smack a little but of humility down. she'll do this at her leisure, miss fucking pleb.
but, i didn't quite get that from the judge. she was haughty, but empathetic. that's a good judge. and, it's probably just taking a long time due to a good judge doing some good judging.
or, i hope, anyways.
that migraine set me back more than 24 hours. but, i've finally got this done.
====
i'm not talking about the mail; i can check the database in real time. she said tuesday or wednesday.
it's thursday afternoon; she's taking her time. i couldn't imagine why she would need to do that if she wasn't researching, and that only really make sense if she's dismissing, or at least sees an excellent reason to consider it.
there's another interpretation, though. the landlord decided to argue with the judge at the last minute about how she has "property rights" (she doesn't.), and tried to guilt her over her mom (i think she's full of shit.). that was stupid all around, and especially stupid in a case like this where the judge has reason to doubt her - to risk that the judge might conclude the complainant was essentially trying to sucker her into a quick ruling is another thing she didn't have to do, but did. if the judge comes around to my side, she may interact with that memory very poorly. but, she also might just be trying to smack a little but of humility down. she'll do this at her leisure, miss fucking pleb.
but, i didn't quite get that from the judge. she was haughty, but empathetic. that's a good judge. and, it's probably just taking a long time due to a good judge doing some good judging.
or, i hope, anyways.
that migraine set me back more than 24 hours. but, i've finally got this done.
====
purchasing this release does not come with a download.
inri013: written and demoed from 1994-1998. initially constructed in this form in june, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. sequenced on jan 6-7, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016. released jan 7, 2016. finalized on july 29, 2016. symph001.
inri016: created in the summer of 1998. released as a standalone ep on nov 16, 2013. audio permanently closed on oct 12, 2016. release finalized on oct 27, 2016.
inri019: written and demoed from 1996-1999. initially constructed in this form in january, 1999. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. compiled on nov 13, 2016. sequenced on nov 22-24, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016. audio permanently closed on nov 24, 2016. release finalized on nov 27, 2016. symph002.
inri029: recorded over 1997-1999. constructed in this form in june, 1999. published in november, 2013. aborted early version added as a hidden track on sept 13, 2017; release consequently finalized. symph003.
inri039: this was constructed over a little more than a month: from 7/7-8/20, 2000. it seems to have been recombined into one track around 2007 but has otherwise not been modified since it was completed. first released as an ep in jan 2014. release finalized as symph004 on oct 8, 2017.
inri046: written in the spring of 2001. lent out for a different project in jan, 2004. reconstructed in the first quarter of 2006, especially over march. the vst mix was added on jan 10, 2015 and the two guitar mixes were added on may 29, 2015. finalized as symph005 on oct 15, 2017.
inri047: written one day in june, 1998. re-created on another day in june, 1999. reimagined on yet another day in june, 2001. a failed remaster occurred at the end of 2013. slightly rearranged and re-rendered at the end of july, 2014. rearranged again at the end of may, 2015 and one last time at the beginning of jan, 2016. expanded and finalized over oct 15-16, 2017.
inri053: written late 2001 and early 2002. this file is ripped from a cd-r that was burnt around 2002, as that was the option that would produce the most accurate reproduction of the original composition. republished without modification in 2014. on oct 23, 2017, the poem was added to the disc as an introduction to the track and the disc was subsequently closed and finalized as symph006 and lp012.
originally created from 1996-2002. this compilation is dated to jan 25, 2002. slowly remastered, reconstituted, compiled, reconstructed, released and finalized from 2013-2017. compilation finalized on oct 26, 2017. as always, please use headphones.
inri013: written and demoed from 1994-1998. initially constructed in this form in june, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. sequenced on jan 6-7, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016. released jan 7, 2016. finalized on july 29, 2016. symph001.
inri016: created in the summer of 1998. released as a standalone ep on nov 16, 2013. audio permanently closed on oct 12, 2016. release finalized on oct 27, 2016.
inri019: written and demoed from 1996-1999. initially constructed in this form in january, 1999. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. compiled on nov 13, 2016. sequenced on nov 22-24, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016. audio permanently closed on nov 24, 2016. release finalized on nov 27, 2016. symph002.
inri029: recorded over 1997-1999. constructed in this form in june, 1999. published in november, 2013. aborted early version added as a hidden track on sept 13, 2017; release consequently finalized. symph003.
inri039: this was constructed over a little more than a month: from 7/7-8/20, 2000. it seems to have been recombined into one track around 2007 but has otherwise not been modified since it was completed. first released as an ep in jan 2014. release finalized as symph004 on oct 8, 2017.
inri046: written in the spring of 2001. lent out for a different project in jan, 2004. reconstructed in the first quarter of 2006, especially over march. the vst mix was added on jan 10, 2015 and the two guitar mixes were added on may 29, 2015. finalized as symph005 on oct 15, 2017.
inri047: written one day in june, 1998. re-created on another day in june, 1999. reimagined on yet another day in june, 2001. a failed remaster occurred at the end of 2013. slightly rearranged and re-rendered at the end of july, 2014. rearranged again at the end of may, 2015 and one last time at the beginning of jan, 2016. expanded and finalized over oct 15-16, 2017.
inri053: written late 2001 and early 2002. this file is ripped from a cd-r that was burnt around 2002, as that was the option that would produce the most accurate reproduction of the original composition. republished without modification in 2014. on oct 23, 2017, the poem was added to the disc as an introduction to the track and the disc was subsequently closed and finalized as symph006 and lp012.
originally created from 1996-2002. this compilation is dated to jan 25, 2002. slowly remastered, reconstituted, compiled, reconstructed, released and finalized from 2013-2017. compilation finalized on oct 26, 2017. as always, please use headphones.
credits
released January 25, 2002
j - guitars (electric, classical, acoustic), effects, ebow, bass, mandolin, synthesizers, electric piano, piano, organ, vocals, drum kit, drum programming, orchestral & other sequencing, flute, cool edit synthesis, sound raider, sampling, light-wave synthesis, generative synthesis, generative percussion, noise generators, sound design, loops, tapes, found sounds (washing machine), metronome, windows 95 sound recorder, treatments, digital effects processing, digital wave editing, coughs, a broken tape deck, a broken equalizer, composition, production
the rendered electronic orchestras variously include synthesizers, clavinet, kalimba, nylon guitar, acoustic guitar, electric guitar, bass guitar, piano, banjo, electronic drums, pc card, violin, cello, bamboo flute, flute, viola, soprano saxophone, tuba, trumpet, organ, orchestra hit, pizzicato strings, synth pads, contrabass, tubular bells and music box.
j - guitars (electric, classical, acoustic), effects, ebow, bass, mandolin, synthesizers, electric piano, piano, organ, vocals, drum kit, drum programming, orchestral & other sequencing, flute, cool edit synthesis, sound raider, sampling, light-wave synthesis, generative synthesis, generative percussion, noise generators, sound design, loops, tapes, found sounds (washing machine), metronome, windows 95 sound recorder, treatments, digital effects processing, digital wave editing, coughs, a broken tape deck, a broken equalizer, composition, production
the rendered electronic orchestras variously include synthesizers, clavinet, kalimba, nylon guitar, acoustic guitar, electric guitar, bass guitar, piano, banjo, electronic drums, pc card, violin, cello, bamboo flute, flute, viola, soprano saxophone, tuba, trumpet, organ, orchestra hit, pizzicato strings, synth pads, contrabass, tubular bells and music box.
Wednesday, October 25, 2017
you know, i'm not sure what i meant to say, there. i didn't think i was in aphasia, but that was some nonsense, alright.
i spent the morning cleaning. i had to stop to eat. still no response.
i want to get the temperature down in here and the air turned over so i can turn the heat on. it's not ideal, but it's the consequence of the air and the smoke - i either need the windows open or the heat on. i can't keep the windows closed with the heat off. not long term, anyways. it just gets awful in here. the windows will probably be open all night. and, it's going to be cold tonight. it's necessary.
i've got some typing done. i want to get a lot more done....
i spent the morning cleaning. i had to stop to eat. still no response.
i want to get the temperature down in here and the air turned over so i can turn the heat on. it's not ideal, but it's the consequence of the air and the smoke - i either need the windows open or the heat on. i can't keep the windows closed with the heat off. not long term, anyways. it just gets awful in here. the windows will probably be open all night. and, it's going to be cold tonight. it's necessary.
i've got some typing done. i want to get a lot more done....
aura hit on wednesday, this week.
thursday last week.
friday the previous week.
it doesn't seem as bad. or, at least, not yet. it's just blurry. flashing lights. it's a mushroom trip without the buzz, basically.
guess i need to stop for a bit. fuck. i'm going to go right for the aspirin, this time...
thursday last week.
friday the previous week.
it doesn't seem as bad. or, at least, not yet. it's just blurry. flashing lights. it's a mushroom trip without the buzz, basically.
guess i need to stop for a bit. fuck. i'm going to go right for the aspirin, this time...
yesterday was a wash.
i had to verbally close the string of discs i just finalized for the vlog, and it took me all morning. then, i spent the afternoon bitching with the landlord, who tried to create a situation out of nonsense and force an entry into the apartment due to an emergency based on an email from 2015.
their only defence is an inability to read. as half true as that may be, i do not believe that this is the important factor, in context. they were just trying to manufacture a conflict.
i was previously providing them with the benefit of the doubt. i had to, in a deficit of evidence. but, they've proven that they're ridiculously dishonest - as i've proven that i'm brutally honest. i no longer believe a word they say. and, they no longer deserve the benefit of the doubt. this is going to have a large effect on how i behave. and, they may be in for a set of surprises, as my previously overly reasonable behaviour becomes that much less flexible and that much more intent on enforcing literal interpretations of the law.
everybody gets a chance with me. they blew theirs. and, i'm not nice to people that cross me or demonstrate themselves as dishonest. it's the trait i dislike the most in people, and the one i have the least patience for. the liars of the world can fucking choke.
i should get something or other done this morning. but if i don't get an update on my case, i'm going to have to start looking at contingency options.
here's the thing: i will obey a court order, because i need to protect my stuff, and because there's not any point of being dragged out by the sheriff. but, i'm still thinking i have a good chance of winning the case. so, i'm not going to pay for storage or get out until i know.
i hope the judge gets a response out soon, whatever it is. obviously, i want to stay here, until they leave....
(and, they told me over email that they are in fact selling for $500,000, which is kind of a joke - i'm not qualified to appraise, but the place is no doubt worth half that. i lived in a $500,000 house for a while as a late teen in a much hotter market, and this isn't it. am i going to have to wait for them to cut the price? for how fucking long?)
....but if i must go, please tell me asap - and give me as much time as possible to deal wtih it.
i wouldn't drag it out, either. if i'm told i have to be out by jan 1st, i'll try and leave by dec 1st. i want as much time as i can get. but that doesn't mean i'm here until the last day.
anyways.
i'm going to get a smoothie and get back to what i was doing, which was prepping the wave of stuff over 2002. 2001 is completely finished. if i can get 54 done today, i think i'm doing well. i need to ship 56, 58, 60, 62 and three more in the late 60s or low 70s. so, i'm getting to the end of this, here, too.
if i get until jan 1st or dec 1st, i'll have to finish the order first. if it's earlier than that, i don't know what i'm doing. and, if i don't get a response at all in the next 48 hours, i'm going to have to start to panic.
i had to verbally close the string of discs i just finalized for the vlog, and it took me all morning. then, i spent the afternoon bitching with the landlord, who tried to create a situation out of nonsense and force an entry into the apartment due to an emergency based on an email from 2015.
their only defence is an inability to read. as half true as that may be, i do not believe that this is the important factor, in context. they were just trying to manufacture a conflict.
i was previously providing them with the benefit of the doubt. i had to, in a deficit of evidence. but, they've proven that they're ridiculously dishonest - as i've proven that i'm brutally honest. i no longer believe a word they say. and, they no longer deserve the benefit of the doubt. this is going to have a large effect on how i behave. and, they may be in for a set of surprises, as my previously overly reasonable behaviour becomes that much less flexible and that much more intent on enforcing literal interpretations of the law.
everybody gets a chance with me. they blew theirs. and, i'm not nice to people that cross me or demonstrate themselves as dishonest. it's the trait i dislike the most in people, and the one i have the least patience for. the liars of the world can fucking choke.
i should get something or other done this morning. but if i don't get an update on my case, i'm going to have to start looking at contingency options.
here's the thing: i will obey a court order, because i need to protect my stuff, and because there's not any point of being dragged out by the sheriff. but, i'm still thinking i have a good chance of winning the case. so, i'm not going to pay for storage or get out until i know.
i hope the judge gets a response out soon, whatever it is. obviously, i want to stay here, until they leave....
(and, they told me over email that they are in fact selling for $500,000, which is kind of a joke - i'm not qualified to appraise, but the place is no doubt worth half that. i lived in a $500,000 house for a while as a late teen in a much hotter market, and this isn't it. am i going to have to wait for them to cut the price? for how fucking long?)
....but if i must go, please tell me asap - and give me as much time as possible to deal wtih it.
i wouldn't drag it out, either. if i'm told i have to be out by jan 1st, i'll try and leave by dec 1st. i want as much time as i can get. but that doesn't mean i'm here until the last day.
anyways.
i'm going to get a smoothie and get back to what i was doing, which was prepping the wave of stuff over 2002. 2001 is completely finished. if i can get 54 done today, i think i'm doing well. i need to ship 56, 58, 60, 62 and three more in the late 60s or low 70s. so, i'm getting to the end of this, here, too.
if i get until jan 1st or dec 1st, i'll have to finish the order first. if it's earlier than that, i don't know what i'm doing. and, if i don't get a response at all in the next 48 hours, i'm going to have to start to panic.
Monday, October 23, 2017
purchasing this release does not come with a download.
inri043: written late 2000 & early 2001. the renders present here are all from either the early months of 2014, the second half of may, 2015 or the 11th/12th of october, 2017. minor instrumentation changes to facilitate a small wind section were implemented in late april, 2014. live guitars were layered into the final version over may 2014. four more mixes were added from may 19-26, 2015. five more mixes were added on oct 11/12, 2017. release finalized on oct 12, 2017.
inri044: written early 2001. drastically rearranged in june, 2014. rendered, arranged and performed over june and july, 2014. remixed and re-rendered several times over late may, 2015 and again over mid oct, 2017. this release cannot formally finalize at this time, but has been put into it's existing state as of oct 15, 2017.
inri045: recorded in the first part of 2001. sequenced as is in january, 2014.
inri046: written in the spring of 2001. lent out for a different project in jan, 2004. reconstructed in the first quarter of 2006, especially over march. the vst mix was added on jan 10, 2015 and the two guitar mixes were added on may 29, 2015. finalized as symph005 on oct 15, 2017.
inri047: written one day in june, 1998. re-created on another day in june, 1999. reimagined on yet another day in june, 2001. a failed remaster occurred at the end of 2013. slightly rearranged and re-rendered at the end of july, 2014. rearranged again at the end of may, 2015 and one last time at the beginning of jan, 2016. expanded and finalized over oct 15-16, 2017.
inri048: written in the summer of 2001. remembered over july, 2014. completed august-september, 2014. expanded and finalized on oct 16, 2017.
inri049: written and recorded in the fall of 2001. compiled on sept 6, 2014. expanded and finalized on oct 20-21, 2017.
inri050: written in the fall of 2001. rendered, remastered and remixed in late september and early october, 2014. the string mix was corrected for clicks on june 1, 2015, but unfortunately left accidentally inverted. this was corrected on oct 21, 2017. the lead track was re-rendered with the clickless string mix on oct 21, 2017. disc finalized on oct 21, 2017.
inri051: created in the fall of 2001. resequenced and rereleased on sept 7, 2014. disc finalized on oct 22, 2017.
inri052: tracks 1, 3 and 8 were written in 2001 and reinterpreted and completed in 2014. tracks 2 and 5 were interpreted and completed in 2001. track 4 was written in 2000 and reinterpreted and recorded in 2001. track 6 was written in 2001 and completed in 2006. track 7 was written in 1998, reinterpreted in 2001 and rendered in 2014. tracks 1-7 were sequenced on sept 9, 2014. final completion date is oct 3, 2014. refinalized as lp011 on oct 22, 2017.
inri053: written late 2001 and early 2002. this file is ripped from a cd-r that was burnt around 2002, as that was the option that would produce the most accurate reproduction of the original composition. republished without modification in 2014. on oct 23, 2017, the poem was added to the disc as an introduction to the track and the disc was subsequently closed and finalized as symph006 and lp012.
originally created from 2001-2002, but mostly in 2001. this compilation is dated to jan 20, 2002. slowly remastered, reconstituted, compiled, reconstructed, released and finalized from 2013-2017. compilation finalized on oct 22, 2017. as always, please use headphones.
inri043: written late 2000 & early 2001. the renders present here are all from either the early months of 2014, the second half of may, 2015 or the 11th/12th of october, 2017. minor instrumentation changes to facilitate a small wind section were implemented in late april, 2014. live guitars were layered into the final version over may 2014. four more mixes were added from may 19-26, 2015. five more mixes were added on oct 11/12, 2017. release finalized on oct 12, 2017.
inri044: written early 2001. drastically rearranged in june, 2014. rendered, arranged and performed over june and july, 2014. remixed and re-rendered several times over late may, 2015 and again over mid oct, 2017. this release cannot formally finalize at this time, but has been put into it's existing state as of oct 15, 2017.
inri045: recorded in the first part of 2001. sequenced as is in january, 2014.
inri046: written in the spring of 2001. lent out for a different project in jan, 2004. reconstructed in the first quarter of 2006, especially over march. the vst mix was added on jan 10, 2015 and the two guitar mixes were added on may 29, 2015. finalized as symph005 on oct 15, 2017.
inri047: written one day in june, 1998. re-created on another day in june, 1999. reimagined on yet another day in june, 2001. a failed remaster occurred at the end of 2013. slightly rearranged and re-rendered at the end of july, 2014. rearranged again at the end of may, 2015 and one last time at the beginning of jan, 2016. expanded and finalized over oct 15-16, 2017.
inri048: written in the summer of 2001. remembered over july, 2014. completed august-september, 2014. expanded and finalized on oct 16, 2017.
inri049: written and recorded in the fall of 2001. compiled on sept 6, 2014. expanded and finalized on oct 20-21, 2017.
inri050: written in the fall of 2001. rendered, remastered and remixed in late september and early october, 2014. the string mix was corrected for clicks on june 1, 2015, but unfortunately left accidentally inverted. this was corrected on oct 21, 2017. the lead track was re-rendered with the clickless string mix on oct 21, 2017. disc finalized on oct 21, 2017.
inri051: created in the fall of 2001. resequenced and rereleased on sept 7, 2014. disc finalized on oct 22, 2017.
inri052: tracks 1, 3 and 8 were written in 2001 and reinterpreted and completed in 2014. tracks 2 and 5 were interpreted and completed in 2001. track 4 was written in 2000 and reinterpreted and recorded in 2001. track 6 was written in 2001 and completed in 2006. track 7 was written in 1998, reinterpreted in 2001 and rendered in 2014. tracks 1-7 were sequenced on sept 9, 2014. final completion date is oct 3, 2014. refinalized as lp011 on oct 22, 2017.
inri053: written late 2001 and early 2002. this file is ripped from a cd-r that was burnt around 2002, as that was the option that would produce the most accurate reproduction of the original composition. republished without modification in 2014. on oct 23, 2017, the poem was added to the disc as an introduction to the track and the disc was subsequently closed and finalized as symph006 and lp012.
originally created from 2001-2002, but mostly in 2001. this compilation is dated to jan 20, 2002. slowly remastered, reconstituted, compiled, reconstructed, released and finalized from 2013-2017. compilation finalized on oct 22, 2017. as always, please use headphones.
credits
released January 20, 2002
j - electric piano, drum & other programming, orchestral & other sequencing, classical & acoustic & electric guitars, ebow, digital & analog effects & treatments, electric bass, mandolin, organ, synthesizers, sound design, noise generators, cool edit synthesis, sampling, vocals, vocoders, digital wave editing, loops, equalization, production, composition.
sean - vocals, lyrics (inri048, inri049, inri053)
jon - guitar performance (inri048, inri049)
the various rendered electronic orchestras include acoustic bass, electric bass, synth bass, upright bass, distorted electric guitar, clean electric guitar, steel string acoustic guitar, nylon guitar, guitar effects, banjo, harp, sitar, french horn, tuba, trumpet, trombone, brass ensemble, saxophone, soprano saxophone, orchestra hit, violin, viola, cello, contrabass, pizzicato strings, full string section, piano, synthesizers, synth pad, synthesizer effects, mellotron, organ, bamboo flute, clarinet, flute, piccolo, oboe, english horn, bassoon, voice, music box, tubular bells, bells, clavinet, kalimba, xylophone, glockenspiel, woodblock, vibraphone, marimba, taiko drums, detuned piano, pc card, drum kit, jazz drum kit, hand drums, melodic toms, orchestral drum kit, drum machines, hammered percussion, synthetic percussion and electronic drum kit. they also include choir.
j - electric piano, drum & other programming, orchestral & other sequencing, classical & acoustic & electric guitars, ebow, digital & analog effects & treatments, electric bass, mandolin, organ, synthesizers, sound design, noise generators, cool edit synthesis, sampling, vocals, vocoders, digital wave editing, loops, equalization, production, composition.
sean - vocals, lyrics (inri048, inri049, inri053)
jon - guitar performance (inri048, inri049)
the various rendered electronic orchestras include acoustic bass, electric bass, synth bass, upright bass, distorted electric guitar, clean electric guitar, steel string acoustic guitar, nylon guitar, guitar effects, banjo, harp, sitar, french horn, tuba, trumpet, trombone, brass ensemble, saxophone, soprano saxophone, orchestra hit, violin, viola, cello, contrabass, pizzicato strings, full string section, piano, synthesizers, synth pad, synthesizer effects, mellotron, organ, bamboo flute, clarinet, flute, piccolo, oboe, english horn, bassoon, voice, music box, tubular bells, bells, clavinet, kalimba, xylophone, glockenspiel, woodblock, vibraphone, marimba, taiko drums, detuned piano, pc card, drum kit, jazz drum kit, hand drums, melodic toms, orchestral drum kit, drum machines, hammered percussion, synthetic percussion and electronic drum kit. they also include choir.
republishing inri053
this came
out of a two-person psychedelic folk project i was working in over late
2001 and into mid 2002. we had brainstormed the idea of a piece that
slowly built itself up, like a wave, and that had sporadic pieces of
poetry interspersed as it did so. of the two of us, i was the musician,
and he was the poet; i generally produced the music by myself. however,
my vision of the track proved to be much larger than his, to the point
that the two ideas could not be effectively reconciled given the deficit
of technology available to us (i simply couldn't find a way to get
enough resources to condense the track to under ten minutes). that left
me with this seventy minute ambient piece that has mostly stayed hidden
in my closet over the last twelve years.
in 2014, i strongly contemplated reconstructing the short version out of existing material, but it would have required a rethink of the process that i felt would be invasive to the poet involved. the reality is that the music that i created was not well suited as accompaniment for the poem, and it should just be left at that. in oct of 2017, i added the poem to the disc, a capella, as an introduction to the track.
this is very much process music. it's built on 36 distinct loops of identical length (just under 57 seconds) that assemble the collage up on a loop by loop basis, hitting it's full point only in the 35th loop. the 36th loop does not fit into any of the patterns that define the first 35, but is nonetheless the climax of the piece. this is followed by a disassembling process that is precisely the reverse of the assembling process. together, this produces the effect of a long wave of sound washing over the listener.
aesthetically, it's likely clear that i had been listening to a lot of "kosmische" style synthesizer music of european origin. it's actually a key part of my musical style, so a bigger exploration of it's themes is not at all out of place. however, i generally prefer to take ideas from the genre and recontextualize them rather than delve into a full exploration. this is somewhat unique in my discography as being an album-length analog synthesizer work.
either as ambient or kosmische or process music, this is mostly meant as background music.
written late 2001 and early 2002. this file is ripped from a cd-r that was burnt around 2002, as that was the option that would produce the most accurate reproduction of the original composition. republished without modification in 2014. on oct 23, 2017, the poem was added to the disc as an introduction to the track and the disc was subsequently closed and finalized as symph006 and lp012. as always, please use headphones.
this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (2001, 2002, 2014, 2017).
in 2014, i strongly contemplated reconstructing the short version out of existing material, but it would have required a rethink of the process that i felt would be invasive to the poet involved. the reality is that the music that i created was not well suited as accompaniment for the poem, and it should just be left at that. in oct of 2017, i added the poem to the disc, a capella, as an introduction to the track.
this is very much process music. it's built on 36 distinct loops of identical length (just under 57 seconds) that assemble the collage up on a loop by loop basis, hitting it's full point only in the 35th loop. the 36th loop does not fit into any of the patterns that define the first 35, but is nonetheless the climax of the piece. this is followed by a disassembling process that is precisely the reverse of the assembling process. together, this produces the effect of a long wave of sound washing over the listener.
aesthetically, it's likely clear that i had been listening to a lot of "kosmische" style synthesizer music of european origin. it's actually a key part of my musical style, so a bigger exploration of it's themes is not at all out of place. however, i generally prefer to take ideas from the genre and recontextualize them rather than delve into a full exploration. this is somewhat unique in my discography as being an album-length analog synthesizer work.
either as ambient or kosmische or process music, this is mostly meant as background music.
written late 2001 and early 2002. this file is ripped from a cd-r that was burnt around 2002, as that was the option that would produce the most accurate reproduction of the original composition. republished without modification in 2014. on oct 23, 2017, the poem was added to the disc as an introduction to the track and the disc was subsequently closed and finalized as symph006 and lp012. as always, please use headphones.
this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (2001, 2002, 2014, 2017).
credits
released January 15, 2002
j - synthesizers, electric & acoustic guitars, electric bass guitar, digital wave editing, production, composition
sean - vocals, lyrics
j - synthesizers, electric & acoustic guitars, electric bass guitar, digital wave editing, production, composition
sean - vocals, lyrics
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