https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/on-sexual-confusion-in-adolescence-2
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1
Friday, July 29, 2016
28-07-2016: fighting distractions in reasserting the cycle and closing inri013
tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/on-sexual-confusion-in-adolescence-2
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/on-sexual-confusion-in-adolescence-2
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1
back to schizoid (inri014)
i'm back to this, now, which is the final thing to finish before i can close my first lp.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/schizoid-terrorist-2
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/schizoid-terrorist-2
finalizing on sexual confusion in adolescence (inri013)
audio permanently closed for inri013.
==
this was not initially constructed as a standalone work, but it became one almost the moment that it was constructed. there was always an intent to combine the sexuality themed tracks together at the front of my first record, but the initial idea was something more like frontloading the disc than building a cohesive work. it just happened to build itself up that way, and was truly apparent as such on the very first listen. even the phantom of the opera cover in the middle of the track became topical in a sort of subversive way.
i first broke the piece off into a standalone file in the spring of 2014 as a mirror image to the sequence that ends my second record, which actually *was* consciously written as a single work all the way back in 1996 (and appears that way at the end of the very first demo tape). i thought that if the second record was going to have an epic then the first should as well. as the first six tracks had long been a subset in my mind, this was a natural thing to do. the title of the track was first published as an upload to youtube in mar, 2014 on the deathtokoalas channel, which is now deleted.
i did not initially number these tracks as symphonies due to their incorporation of childish vocals, although i had planned to include them on any symphonic compilation discs, nonetheless. i saw them more as proto-symphonies - or just as beginner epics, where i was finding my feet but ultimately still working out ideas.
it wasn't until i finished reclaiming my 1998 demos from tape at the end of 2015 that i realized that i could resequence my first two records from scratch and republish them as instrumental works. the ability to reclaim these two epics as instrumental works, and consequently as full symphonies, followed as a corollary of this. it was consequently not until january, 2016 that i finally elevated the instrumental reconstruction of this recording to the level of my first official symphony, which is where it will now exist into perpetuity: eternally, finally.
the focus in reconstruction was to erect a final version rather than conform to the original mix, so later versions were prioritized over earlier ones. the first through fourth sections are very similar to the original album mix, whereas the fifth and sixth sections have been replaced with expanded mixes.
once the instrumental version had been constructed for the record, i felt i had lost something by removing the vocals - or at least some of them. in the context of the improved master, i felt an edited vocal take could actually elevate the symphony to a different and surreal level, if presented in the right context. this context could not be on the record, though, which had to be fully instrumental. instead, i decided to place the vocal reconstruction as a standalone single, with the instrumental as a flip side to it.
this is an incredibly dense piece of music that i'm proud to finally place in the serious part of my discography.
written and demoed from 1994-1998. initially constructed in this form in june, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. sequenced on jan 6-7, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2014 & 2015. released jan 7, 2016. finalized on july 29, 2016. this is my first symphony; as always, please use headphones.
section one: initially written & recorded in 1997. re-recorded in 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. remastered from various sources on jan 6, 2016.
section two: initially written in 1994. first full recording in 1996. recreated in mar, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed on july 18, 2015. sequenced jan 6, 2016. vocals added on jan 7, 2016.
section three: initially written by andrew lloyd webber. recorded in 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. remastered from various sources on jan 6, 2016.
section four: originally created in jan, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed on july 5, 2015. expanded & sequenced on jan 6, 2016. vocals added on jan 7, 2016.
section five: written june, 1998. reimagined june, 2001. slightly rearranged and re-rendered at the end of july, 2014. rearranged again at the end of may, 2015. remastered from the 2014 & 2015 sources on jan 6, 2016.
section six: initially written in 1997. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 5, 2015. remixed july 12, 2015. vocals and electronics added on july 16, 2015. sequenced on jan 6, 2016.
==
this was not initially constructed as a standalone work, but it became one almost the moment that it was constructed. there was always an intent to combine the sexuality themed tracks together at the front of my first record, but the initial idea was something more like frontloading the disc than building a cohesive work. it just happened to build itself up that way, and was truly apparent as such on the very first listen. even the phantom of the opera cover in the middle of the track became topical in a sort of subversive way.
i first broke the piece off into a standalone file in the spring of 2014 as a mirror image to the sequence that ends my second record, which actually *was* consciously written as a single work all the way back in 1996 (and appears that way at the end of the very first demo tape). i thought that if the second record was going to have an epic then the first should as well. as the first six tracks had long been a subset in my mind, this was a natural thing to do. the title of the track was first published as an upload to youtube in mar, 2014 on the deathtokoalas channel, which is now deleted.
i did not initially number these tracks as symphonies due to their incorporation of childish vocals, although i had planned to include them on any symphonic compilation discs, nonetheless. i saw them more as proto-symphonies - or just as beginner epics, where i was finding my feet but ultimately still working out ideas.
it wasn't until i finished reclaiming my 1998 demos from tape at the end of 2015 that i realized that i could resequence my first two records from scratch and republish them as instrumental works. the ability to reclaim these two epics as instrumental works, and consequently as full symphonies, followed as a corollary of this. it was consequently not until january, 2016 that i finally elevated the instrumental reconstruction of this recording to the level of my first official symphony, which is where it will now exist into perpetuity: eternally, finally.
the focus in reconstruction was to erect a final version rather than conform to the original mix, so later versions were prioritized over earlier ones. the first through fourth sections are very similar to the original album mix, whereas the fifth and sixth sections have been replaced with expanded mixes.
once the instrumental version had been constructed for the record, i felt i had lost something by removing the vocals - or at least some of them. in the context of the improved master, i felt an edited vocal take could actually elevate the symphony to a different and surreal level, if presented in the right context. this context could not be on the record, though, which had to be fully instrumental. instead, i decided to place the vocal reconstruction as a standalone single, with the instrumental as a flip side to it.
this is an incredibly dense piece of music that i'm proud to finally place in the serious part of my discography.
written and demoed from 1994-1998. initially constructed in this form in june, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. sequenced on jan 6-7, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2014 & 2015. released jan 7, 2016. finalized on july 29, 2016. this is my first symphony; as always, please use headphones.
section one: initially written & recorded in 1997. re-recorded in 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. remastered from various sources on jan 6, 2016.
section two: initially written in 1994. first full recording in 1996. recreated in mar, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed on july 18, 2015. sequenced jan 6, 2016. vocals added on jan 7, 2016.
section three: initially written by andrew lloyd webber. recorded in 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. remastered from various sources on jan 6, 2016.
section four: originally created in jan, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed on july 5, 2015. expanded & sequenced on jan 6, 2016. vocals added on jan 7, 2016.
section five: written june, 1998. reimagined june, 2001. slightly rearranged and re-rendered at the end of july, 2014. rearranged again at the end of may, 2015. remastered from the 2014 & 2015 sources on jan 6, 2016.
section six: initially written in 1997. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 5, 2015. remixed july 12, 2015. vocals and electronics added on july 16, 2015. sequenced on jan 6, 2016.
Thursday, July 28, 2016
Wednesday, July 27, 2016
ok, so i should have probably expected that i would have been a little
distracted by the primaries, but this is the end of day three of
aimlessness and i didn't want this at all.
i've moved my laptop back into my bedroom to re-establish a separation between play and labour. the dangerously obese, parasitic piece of shit upstairs will not relent on the air conditioner (which i'm paying for), so the heat is currently set to 31 degrees celsius - and i'm willing to increase it further. this has an effect on alertness, but it's better than living in a fucking fridge.
i still haven't heard back from the mri and it's still eating at me. but i'm at least a little more focused. i think.
i need to be a little bit more strict with myself because i want to finish what is in front of me by the end of the week so i can get all the between-things things done at the end of the month.
i've moved my laptop back into my bedroom to re-establish a separation between play and labour. the dangerously obese, parasitic piece of shit upstairs will not relent on the air conditioner (which i'm paying for), so the heat is currently set to 31 degrees celsius - and i'm willing to increase it further. this has an effect on alertness, but it's better than living in a fucking fridge.
i still haven't heard back from the mri and it's still eating at me. but i'm at least a little more focused. i think.
i need to be a little bit more strict with myself because i want to finish what is in front of me by the end of the week so i can get all the between-things things done at the end of the month.
j reacts to the impossibility of feminine men within hierarchical heteropatriarchy
"so why don't you just be a girly dude."
i just got that one. again. the reason is that you can't actually live that way.
i'll just show up to work in a skirt, right? ok, maybe that's not as out there as it was even a few years ago. here's another example that cuts a lot deeper: women just don't ask guys out.
so, why don't i show initiative? why don't i take control? why don't i be a man about it?.
whatever the answers to those questions, i think it gets the point across: you can't just be a girly dude. i think it's a lot easier to be a masculine female. you may even get a little privilege out of it. but, the premise you're throwing at me just really isn't actually feasible, and i don't think that you need to be queer to be cognizant of it.
do you know what would have actually happened had i shown up to work at microsoft in a skirt?
they'd have sent me to hr, and off to a psychiatric assessment - where i would have been given hormones, and probably the option to go on leave for a few months. i may have even been transferred.
...because it was fucking microsoft.
in canada.
it would have been a little different at a mcdonalds in dallas.
but, you get the point. it's not a real option.
i just got that one. again. the reason is that you can't actually live that way.
i'll just show up to work in a skirt, right? ok, maybe that's not as out there as it was even a few years ago. here's another example that cuts a lot deeper: women just don't ask guys out.
so, why don't i show initiative? why don't i take control? why don't i be a man about it?.
whatever the answers to those questions, i think it gets the point across: you can't just be a girly dude. i think it's a lot easier to be a masculine female. you may even get a little privilege out of it. but, the premise you're throwing at me just really isn't actually feasible, and i don't think that you need to be queer to be cognizant of it.
do you know what would have actually happened had i shown up to work at microsoft in a skirt?
they'd have sent me to hr, and off to a psychiatric assessment - where i would have been given hormones, and probably the option to go on leave for a few months. i may have even been transferred.
...because it was fucking microsoft.
in canada.
it would have been a little different at a mcdonalds in dallas.
but, you get the point. it's not a real option.
i've added a new release type...
format:
single: $5
ep: $7
lp: $10
double ep (split digital/physical): $10
double ep (both physical): $14
double lp: $20
this comes up twice in a row, with inri013 and inri014. on the one hand, i have a physical cd (or official cd-length digital release) that i'd like to publish. inri013 is 70+ minutes over two tracks, whereas inri014 is more typical in being a little less than an hour (still a long single). but, i've also decided to be comprehensive over each release, so i've obligated myself to releasing all relevant outtakes - which is an additional hour for inri013 and a whopping 75 minutes for inri014. in both cases, i could not fit the release & bonus material on a single disc. these are also the first two examples of this happening. so, for example, the release for inri009 is 53 minutes, and with outtakes runs to 67 minutes - less than the length of a physical cd, so theoretically packageable. if i were to in theory package inri013 or inri014 with bonus material, i would need two discs. but, i don't actually want to do that, and i have no plans to ever press the releases that way. so, rather than orphan the material, i'd rather drop it on to these download-only virtual discs.
but, then the problem is that i'm releasing double records for the price of an ep. what i'm trying to be more than anything else with the pricing is consistent. the solution i've come up with is to split the difference..
i'm feeling a little more grounded today, but we'll see how things unfold. i very much hope that i get some response on the mri....
format:
single: $5
ep: $7
lp: $10
double ep (split digital/physical): $10
double ep (both physical): $14
double lp: $20
this comes up twice in a row, with inri013 and inri014. on the one hand, i have a physical cd (or official cd-length digital release) that i'd like to publish. inri013 is 70+ minutes over two tracks, whereas inri014 is more typical in being a little less than an hour (still a long single). but, i've also decided to be comprehensive over each release, so i've obligated myself to releasing all relevant outtakes - which is an additional hour for inri013 and a whopping 75 minutes for inri014. in both cases, i could not fit the release & bonus material on a single disc. these are also the first two examples of this happening. so, for example, the release for inri009 is 53 minutes, and with outtakes runs to 67 minutes - less than the length of a physical cd, so theoretically packageable. if i were to in theory package inri013 or inri014 with bonus material, i would need two discs. but, i don't actually want to do that, and i have no plans to ever press the releases that way. so, rather than orphan the material, i'd rather drop it on to these download-only virtual discs.
but, then the problem is that i'm releasing double records for the price of an ep. what i'm trying to be more than anything else with the pricing is consistent. the solution i've come up with is to split the difference..
i'm feeling a little more grounded today, but we'll see how things unfold. i very much hope that i get some response on the mri....
i think that a big part of the reason that i'm floaty is the mri. it's some kind of repressed anxiety. even when i'm not explicitly thinking about it....
we'll have to see what it says. but, i guess the next thing to check is my jaw, if my ear comes back clean. but, i'm kind of still convinced there's something in there. it sure feels like it...
the other big thing i'm concerned about is if it comes back with lesions. i'm actually becoming more and more convinced that it's lyme disease. i had said i would get that checked last month, but i decided i should wait for the mri, first. short of finding a giant tumour in my eustachian tube, that's almost certainly going to be the next thing i check.
you can imagine it's a little distracting. so, cut me some slack for a few days, here.
we'll have to see what it says. but, i guess the next thing to check is my jaw, if my ear comes back clean. but, i'm kind of still convinced there's something in there. it sure feels like it...
the other big thing i'm concerned about is if it comes back with lesions. i'm actually becoming more and more convinced that it's lyme disease. i had said i would get that checked last month, but i decided i should wait for the mri, first. short of finding a giant tumour in my eustachian tube, that's almost certainly going to be the next thing i check.
you can imagine it's a little distracting. so, cut me some slack for a few days, here.
i've been floating all day. i dunno. i'm chipping away at it, but i'm having a hard time focusing.
i'll at least get inri013 closed tonight. we'll have to see about inri014. a little disappointing. i've been reading, watching youtube, ranting...just not focused...
to clarify...
*13 - epic ep
*14 - schizoid ep single
*15 - lp
*16 - eat my fuck ep
17 - stupid ep single
(skinny puppy tribute)
18 - epic 2 ep
19 - boogeyman ep single
20 - lp2
*21 - inrijected (outtakes) ep
*22 - inimixed (glitch mixes) ep
*23 - inriclaimed (direct from tape over 2015, all instrumental) unofficial lp
*24 - inricited (all vocal ep) ep
25 - too cold single
that closes 1.2, and pushes me back into the 1.3 sequence, which is already done.
* basically done
i'll at least get inri013 closed tonight. we'll have to see about inri014. a little disappointing. i've been reading, watching youtube, ranting...just not focused...
to clarify...
*13 - epic ep
*14 - schizoid ep single
*15 - lp
*16 - eat my fuck ep
17 - stupid ep single
(skinny puppy tribute)
18 - epic 2 ep
19 - boogeyman ep single
20 - lp2
*21 - inrijected (outtakes) ep
*22 - inimixed (glitch mixes) ep
*23 - inriclaimed (direct from tape over 2015, all instrumental) unofficial lp
*24 - inricited (all vocal ep) ep
25 - too cold single
that closes 1.2, and pushes me back into the 1.3 sequence, which is already done.
* basically done
Tuesday, July 26, 2016
i just wanted to let you know that i actually can’t stand “indie rock culture” and am simply befuddled by the idea that i may be associated with it in the minds of others. i just don’t know where this idea came from. it’s not even close.
my tastes are pretty eclectic. but, “indie rock” fits about as well into my music tastes as opera does. which isn’t to say that the idea is entirely absent, so much as to say that i’m really pretty far on the fringes of it.
as a culture, though, i think the “indie rock scene” is flat out revolting. it’s not at all something that i would go out of my way to associate myself with.
outside of the group of misfits that i was friends with in high school (which was basically just the scattered outcasts - various ethnic minorities and a couple of goths), the only social grouping that i’ve ever gone out of my way to spend any time in was occupy. i bill myself as an introvert for a reason. i’m just not somebody that likes to spend time with people, or that enjoys making friends.
my tastes are pretty eclectic. but, “indie rock” fits about as well into my music tastes as opera does. which isn’t to say that the idea is entirely absent, so much as to say that i’m really pretty far on the fringes of it.
as a culture, though, i think the “indie rock scene” is flat out revolting. it’s not at all something that i would go out of my way to associate myself with.
outside of the group of misfits that i was friends with in high school (which was basically just the scattered outcasts - various ethnic minorities and a couple of goths), the only social grouping that i’ve ever gone out of my way to spend any time in was occupy. i bill myself as an introvert for a reason. i’m just not somebody that likes to spend time with people, or that enjoys making friends.
refocusing towards on sexual confusion in adolescence (inri013)
so, we’re back to this for the day.
i don’t expect to modify it. i just expect to close it.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/on-sexual-confusion-in-adolescence
i don’t expect to modify it. i just expect to close it.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/on-sexual-confusion-in-adolescence
Monday, July 25, 2016
j reacts to the absurdity of stealing low quality audio streams
i've been noticing that the bandcamp site is getting many times more visitors than plays. so far in july, i have just over 1100 visits and just under 400 plays. one would expect the opposite. even if everybody shows up and just skips through three songs, that's still three times as many plays as visits. how can i have a third as many plays as visits? what are people doing on my bandcamp site - which has little besides a play button - if not listening?
my best guess is that this is a metric regarding just how bad the problem of bandcamp downloading is. i'd just like to make a few comments.
first: please recognize that i don't prostitute myself to capitalism by selling my labour for a wage, and i'm never going to ever again. this is a basic political position of mine. i consider it more noble to live on welfare than to sell my labour for a wage. for the same reason, i don't have a record label, and i don't want one. i don't make money through advertising, and i don't want to. i'm pushing the point out of principle: do you not think you have an obligation to pay for something if you're enjoying it? i just don't understand the thought process that would take somebody to an audio site to download a low quality file out of the stream that only exists for promo purposes, then tell me i should force people to listen to an ad for condoms if i want to eat. that's not the world i want to live in. that's the world i want to abolish.
second: there's no way around this. if you can stream something, you can pirate it. but, again: i can't understand why this is the arrangement that you actually want.
third: the pirated version that you're getting is absolutely shit. my music is very sonically complex. the 128 kbps mp3 that you're streaming is really worth what you're paying for. i have to clarify that you're not actually getting a proper representation of the sound, that way. i'm not exaggerating, either. there's a reason that i am constantly requesting that you listen to the music though headphones. if you're going to listen through a shitty mp3 (no doubt on your phone speakers or on laptop speakers), you're barely even getting an approximation of it. again, i don't understand what you're getting out of this. this isn't vocally driven music. if you're not listening to the arrangements, what are you listening to? as an example, the most recent track that i uploaded is mixed in such a way that i literally cannot hear the bass part on my laptop speakers. it's not the first time i've noticed this, either. you really need to be listening to it in flac, and through a decent setup. the stream can only give you a taste. to steal the stream is to completely miss the point.
fourth: broadly speaking, i think you're missing the point. the message that sends to me is that you don't understand the art. so, why are you listening to it? you can barely hear it, and you don't understand it.
so, it's hard for me to get angry. it's less that i feel like i'm a victim of theft, and more that i feel like i'm not getting my ideas across very well. or, maybe i am. after all, one of my main messages is the ubiquity of human stupidity. perhaps you're just demonstrating the point.
if you're going to listen to this at all, please do yourself the favour of downloading it in high quality - and listening to it through headphones. that's not a hollow request. you cannot possibly understand what i'm creating, otherwise.
my best guess is that this is a metric regarding just how bad the problem of bandcamp downloading is. i'd just like to make a few comments.
first: please recognize that i don't prostitute myself to capitalism by selling my labour for a wage, and i'm never going to ever again. this is a basic political position of mine. i consider it more noble to live on welfare than to sell my labour for a wage. for the same reason, i don't have a record label, and i don't want one. i don't make money through advertising, and i don't want to. i'm pushing the point out of principle: do you not think you have an obligation to pay for something if you're enjoying it? i just don't understand the thought process that would take somebody to an audio site to download a low quality file out of the stream that only exists for promo purposes, then tell me i should force people to listen to an ad for condoms if i want to eat. that's not the world i want to live in. that's the world i want to abolish.
second: there's no way around this. if you can stream something, you can pirate it. but, again: i can't understand why this is the arrangement that you actually want.
third: the pirated version that you're getting is absolutely shit. my music is very sonically complex. the 128 kbps mp3 that you're streaming is really worth what you're paying for. i have to clarify that you're not actually getting a proper representation of the sound, that way. i'm not exaggerating, either. there's a reason that i am constantly requesting that you listen to the music though headphones. if you're going to listen through a shitty mp3 (no doubt on your phone speakers or on laptop speakers), you're barely even getting an approximation of it. again, i don't understand what you're getting out of this. this isn't vocally driven music. if you're not listening to the arrangements, what are you listening to? as an example, the most recent track that i uploaded is mixed in such a way that i literally cannot hear the bass part on my laptop speakers. it's not the first time i've noticed this, either. you really need to be listening to it in flac, and through a decent setup. the stream can only give you a taste. to steal the stream is to completely miss the point.
fourth: broadly speaking, i think you're missing the point. the message that sends to me is that you don't understand the art. so, why are you listening to it? you can barely hear it, and you don't understand it.
so, it's hard for me to get angry. it's less that i feel like i'm a victim of theft, and more that i feel like i'm not getting my ideas across very well. or, maybe i am. after all, one of my main messages is the ubiquity of human stupidity. perhaps you're just demonstrating the point.
if you're going to listen to this at all, please do yourself the favour of downloading it in high quality - and listening to it through headphones. that's not a hollow request. you cannot possibly understand what i'm creating, otherwise.
no, that nap didn't stick. i'm not sleepy, i'm just kind of drained. sort of bloated from too much pop. again: i can't handle the air conditioning, so i have the heat up higher than i'd like, which is draining. but, i mean the other option is being cold. i'd rather be hot and tired than fucking cold...
the only way that i really know how to deal with that is to turn the heat up to 30 and then open the window. that completely overpowers the air, but it's expensive for the building. so i keep wavering on it, then falling back on it.
it would just be so much easier if he'd turn the a/c down to a point where it's not affecting me. i keep pointing this out. i shouldn't and don't care about him. it's just that he's affecting this unit, because he's being unreasonable. i'm consequently forced to respond with force. you have to fight back in this world. but i wanted to say something else...
the only way that i really know how to deal with that is to turn the heat up to 30 and then open the window. that completely overpowers the air, but it's expensive for the building. so i keep wavering on it, then falling back on it.
it would just be so much easier if he'd turn the a/c down to a point where it's not affecting me. i keep pointing this out. i shouldn't and don't care about him. it's just that he's affecting this unit, because he's being unreasonable. i'm consequently forced to respond with force. you have to fight back in this world. but i wanted to say something else...
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