as expected, i mentioned hits were up and hits went down. i've got a lot of space to work with this month, but if i mention hits are low this week, will they go back up?

i like my disturbing photo.

i don't like people gendering me incorrectly.

so, due to the vast ubiquity of human stupidity, i feel forced to change it.

it's unfortunate. but i don't feel i'm to blame.

so, i've settled on getting one of those epsons tomorrow.

i could have gotten a cheaper canon for $40, but it didn't have a scanner and if i'm going to get a device like this it really ought to have one. i literally have no use for a fax, but the scanner is worth a few dollars. there's also the new factor.

now that i have a better understanding of costs, i've revised prices and added a few new aleph-numbers.

not the work i had in mind when i promised, granted, but it took some time to do.

====================

format / digital / physical:
 single / $1.25 / $5
ep / $2.50 / $7
record / $5 / $10
double / $10 / $20
7.5 hour dvd-audio compilations: $50
13.5 hour flac compilation discs: $100
30 hour mp3 compilation discs: $200

note that flac is higher quality than mp3.
therefore, mp3 discs contain more music.
be sure to purchase what you WANT.

shipping:
$2 - can
$5 - us
$10 - intl

shipping rates are flat to the max, meaning i may gain slightly but i won't lose on shipping. it's otherwise about $3 to make a package. 20% of the sale price goes to transaction fees. this is as cheap as it can be while still being worthwhile to produce.

feeling a thousand times better...

i'l get some work done tonight, promise.

i got the er to give me two months. that had better be sufficient; that is, i need to make sure it's sufficient, because it's not going to happen a second time.

1) absolute cold turkey on smoking from this point. i'm not giving them that as an excuse. nicotine is also an estrogen blocker; i have noticed that my breast size increases when i'm not smoking. it's like...i decided to quit smoking...and have....but shit keeps coming up that freaks me out. that's done. it's become a threat and needs to end.

2) i need to get on the phone tomorrow and pester for an appointment asap so i know if i need to get out of town for a third doctor or not. if i have to take a bus to london or something...

3) i'm going to have to look my best when i do walk in there.

in short, i'm going to take the hint and convert it into an incentive to better myself a little. i've maybe been stewing in my own bodily fluids a little too much recently. that's kind of a gender neutral conclusion. i've been eating well and walking a lot lately, but maybe i should be taking better care of myself in other ways, regardless.

i might look back on this as the kick in the ass that i needed to get things going again, after kind of stalling for a bit.

ffs, nothing takes paypal or echeck...

excuse me while i throw myself through a window. no, honestly. i need to sit down and think how i'm going to do this.

maybe i can get a hold of somebody in ottawa.

i wonder how hard it is to synthesize it....

what's going to happen if i go off hormones?

- depression
- low self esteem
- mood swings
- anger management issues
- possibly suicidal behaviour

you know what i'm going to do? i'm going to go to the emergency room.

tomorrow.

i was not a happy person before i went on them. i'm not going to argue that i'm the happiest person in the world now, but it's a definite improvement in my well being and outlook on the world.

i may end up harming myself. i need to get that across.

no, i'm going to go now...

here's an interesting promotion.

buy estrace, get free viagra. like i have any use for the viagra. so i may end up with some free viagra; if anybody wants it, let me know...

ugh.

somehow, the files from the doctor i spoke to a few days ago ended up at the clinic i went to today. he was suggesting that there's a "health risk" involved in the estrace - even though i've been taking it for years and am in perfect health. so, the doctor at the clinic couldn't overrule the specialist.

i'm not wasting any more time trying to convince a doctor, i'm just going to order online. it's actually a little cheaper.

it means i'll have to put a few other things on hold, but so be it.

estrogen can be connected to blood clots in some cases. but that's true of everybody that takes it. it's bullshit, really. i don't know what's really going on, but i'm just not wasting any more time trying to figure it out.

i'm not angry so much as i'm annoyed. i mean, i'm of the opinion that these drugs should be available over the counter.

at this point, it would be a far greater health risk to go off of them all at once than it would be to continue with them.

i'm dreading this - it's going to really kill my confidence and put me in a depressed state if i don't get this prescribed - but here i go...

it's such stupidity, ultimately. worst case, i'm going to order it from india. these doctors have no right to deny me access to medication i've been on for fourteen years because they don't like my hair.

i can’t be stopped. it can be made easy or hard.

it's not bad when it's dry; the way it spread out actually gives it a sort of natural/dirty look, with darker shades underneath. but i'm going to go red sooner than later.

well, i'm blonde again. sort of. i should have used two boxes. you're kind of helpless once you get to that point and can't go back.

clarity (original vocal mix)

this is the version that is on the rabit is wolf demo.

recorded in late 2001 and early 2002. track completed on march 2, 2002.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/clarity-original-vocal-mix

clarity (redone original demo) (final mix)

yes, a redone original demo.

i had an instrumental demo of clarity from november, 2001 that i had used to construct the first completed version. somehow, it got lost except in mp3 form. so i reconstructed the demo from the samples and completed it as i did the first time. the redone part is rather trivial - it is virtually identical to the november demo.

this version is structurally different than the version which appears with vocals on the rabit demo. i modified the form of the piece to better facilitate a vocal part. in the absence of that vocal part, it made sense to revert to the original form.

i just feel it's worth capturing in this state, as it was pivotal at this point between being a rabit tune and being for one of my own projects. the initial intent for the piece was for it to open a hypothetical third inri record, named trinri. i'm glad that never happened. so, this is the branching point.

created in the fall of 2001. final reconstruction date is oct 13, 2014.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/clarity-redone-original-demo

there's one rule when mixing: don't mix under the influence of anything. i broke that rule, and am going to have to redo the redone clarity original demo. the volume on the mix is all wrong...

shit, i wonder if i could even claim the printer. i haven't received that letter of doom, though. kind of drawing attention to myself...

it's essentially a business expense.

and, if it doesn't work out, for whatever reason, i found a source for cheap lightscribe discs. so, this is all worked out...

good. because i'm hungry.

wait....wait....

there are some cheap epson models at best buy that get me under $75 with taxes. i can't go until tuesday, so that gives me time to wait for kijiji, but it's a totally legit option.

bah....that canon's out of stock everywhere, anyways.

the way they sell it though...

"only replace the colour ink tank that runs out."

yeah. so, spend 4x as much on ink.

i like the idea of printing the insert in higher quality, too, i have to admit. glossy paper. costs an extra $0.50 or something but it's a big difference in looking pro.

i've been talking about a distribution deal, but i kind of want it to be secondary. i'd rather run things out of my basement.

and, if i can get something set up, i wouldn't mind floating the idea around here of actually distributing things for other people...

i can't find evidence, safe to assume they don't...but i'll ask if i end up going in to print the inserts....