of course, as soon as i claim i'm awake, i get sleepy.
i'm truly caught up and will be back to work tomorrow.
Saturday, June 25, 2016
new post at the alter-reality
june 25, 1996
the quake soundtrack is really, really, really awesome
my marks were pretty good. As in the important courses, Bs in the unimportant ones. i'm excited about not having to take phys ed anymore next year - it always drives my average down, every year. i get As in english and math and science and then this big, stupid ugly B in phys ed that takes me down a grade point. it's really unfair. who cares about phys ed? why should it kill my average like this? the other class i always get Bs in is french. i'd like to squirm out of it, but i know my dad won't let me. they say it's important to speak french in ottawa, but the truth is that i've never met anybody that speaks french here, ever. supposedly, you need to speak french to get a job in the government. well, that's easy: i won't work for the government, then. they made the rules, not me. i just find it really irrational to have to speak two languages and so i can't study for it because it's just a stupid idea. i'd rather be doing anything else at all. why can't we all just speak one language? i don't even care if it's english. i'd be happy to learn chinese starting tomorrow if it meant i only had to deal with one language. i'd even be happy to learn french tomorrow if i could forget about english altogether. what drives me crazy about learning multiple languages is the redundancy. it's inefficient. illogical. irrational...
i don't know what i'm going to do this summer. i usually spend the summer entirely by myself; i've never had any friends. i went to elementary school on an army base but i didn't live on the army base so there was never anybody around that i went to school with. so, i would just stay inside. last summer, i played a lot of guitar and read a lot of books. my stepmother wants me to get a job, but that sounds like a waste of time. what would i spend the money on? i'd rather not have money and have time than have money and not have time. i don't really understand why she's so insistent. dad says i'm still too young to work and i shouldn't worry about it, but he wants me to go get a social insurance number anyways, just in case. she gets really mad when he says that, and says i'll have to do chores, then, instead. she seems to honestly think that i have a responsibility to pay rent through manual labour in order to stay here. she calls it "room and board".
i hope that what happened last year doesn't happen again. i was having a nice summer until my step-mother took her yearly holidays and forced me to spend the day outside pulling weeds. she insisted i didn't tell my father. so, i was working six hours a day in the hot sun for a whole week. i assumed my allowance would go up as a result as i was doing more than my expected weekly chores, but when i inquired she told me that i was just paying the rent. this made perfect sense to her. it did not make any sense to me at all - so, i refused to pull weeds any longer unless she promised to pay up and she locked me out of the house. she said i was getting evicted. when my dad got home, i explained what had happened and a huge fight erupted. he told me that i was right and she was wrong and took me to the music store and let me pick out $100 worth of cassettes. he wanted me to understand that my labour was worth something and i should never work for free. he said she has a "chemical imbalance" and goes crazy sometimes and it's something we'll both have to live with forever. he said she understands that what she did was wrong. but, they fought about it for a long time afterwards. i don't know if i agree that she thought what she did was wrong.
i think at least a part of the summer is going to be spent in the basement building a sound proof room. dad used to play the drums when he was younger, and he wants a place where he can go back to playing them. my stepmother won't let him get a drum kit because it's too loud. so, he wants to get sound paneling and insulation for an isolated room in the basement. he says he'll need me to help him - and that i should bring some friends over to start a band once we're done. he'll even put a bass in there, too.
i listened to the new soundgarden record a lot this month and really like it, but it's been replaced in my walkman by the new nine inch nails record. my computer is too slow to run quake; i don't have enough ram for it. it can run wolfenstein, but i haven't played wolfenstein in a few years. i only play civ 2, now. but, my step uncle is a really big id games fan and he let me dub a copy of it. he thought the soundtrack was effective in the game, but that it was really funny that anybody might listen to it as music. he says he'd rather listen to the who.
i don't think it's as good as fixed, which is my favourite record of all time. it's different. it's kind of scary, almost. but, i've been listening to it nonstop since sunday and i just can't get out of it.
it's getting late, so i should pretend that i'm going to bed. i'm too old to have a bed time, but i know that people have to get up in the morning so i adjust to it in keeping quiet past a certain time. i can't say when my next update will be. maybe the room will be done?
http://therealinri.blogspot.ca/1996/06/the-quake-soundtrack-is-really-really.html
this day was one of loose ends and it took longer than i wanted it to, but i'm completely caught up now and awake and alert enough to keep it going.
i seem to be being carefully tugged back to google+ through redirects, the implication being to chill out and just leave my rants here.
the whole point of this is a reaction to separating google+ from youtube, which i'm still pissed off about. what i want is reintegration.
as it is, i don't want to rant over a social media network. if i was going to do that, i wouldn't use google+. nobody uses google+. i'd use facebook. you know - a social network that people actually read.
the whole point of this is that i need to convert my comments into videos for two reasons:
1) there is no longer any feed for youtube comments (that was the sole purpose of google+ - a feed for youtube).
2) youtube comments are now too volatile to be useful.
if your solution is "use google plus", that's basically equivalent to telling me to talk to the wall. i want to use youtube, for the precise reason that it is not a social network, meaning there are not privacy settings.
i'm trying to create a character for public consumption to sell music, not talk over the internet with friends in a way that the government can archive.
i don't see google+ as comparable to facebook, or in any way in competition to it. a better way to compute the way i'd interpret google+ is as comparable to disqus - it was a way that people can find the comments i've left in various spaces, and interact with the author of those comments.
that's actually a decent solution that will let the google+ douchebags maintain their snowflake status, while opening up youtube: just integrate with disqus. that's really what i'm looking for. not a social front end, exactly, just a home base.
i mean, don't misunderstand me too deeply. i've been transparent for years and years: this is marketing. that's my goal. i'm marketing my music, first and foremost. does that mean i'm being disingenuous? well, not at all. but, if you're actually listening to what i'm saying, you might guess that i'm a little bit less than optimistic about the possibilities for serious revolutionary change in my lifetime.
if there's any ambiguity, let me be clear: north america has precisely zero revolutionary potential. none. nada. zilch. and, i've stated this a few times, already: being an anarchist is a fucking lonely reality in a staunchly neo-liberal society. the social revolution comes first, sure, but we're not even at the point where we can talk about a social revolution. we're at the point where we have to teach people how to spell revolution, and then carefully explain what that means.
when we have social movements here - and elsewhere in the world - the way those social movements manifest themselves is as sitting in the public square and loudly chanting for government to solve our problems. we don't have a clue. and, it's not some accident, either. we're absolutely reliant on the state. even those who want to push back think that what revolution means is "force the government to fix things that are broken".
nobody is talking about seizing means of production or redistributing surplus value. the narrative is just foreign, and when you try and have the discussion all you get is confused stares. what people want is equal opportunity to compete over a free market, and welfare for those that fall through the cracks. go talk to them. have you? because i have. there's no imagination, no forward thinking. you'll walk away thinking that it really is the end of history.
even the ones that call themselves "anarchists" sound like calvinist fundamentalists when you push them on it. the kids drawing circled as think anarchism means social darwinism and the abolition of redistributive mechanisms, rather than the abolition of private property. they get their concept of anarchism out of the dictionary; they think council democracy is statist.
so, sure: i'd like to be a threat to the status quo. i'd love it. i can't do it by myself. and, i'm aware that there's not even the most basic beginnings of a social revolution anywhere at all. i don't know if there ever was, but i don't think we're anywhere close to it.
i think the best hope the left has is for mechanization to take over and force us into communes by necessity. i'm basically waiting for this. i give it thirty years, max. but i'll probably be dead by then.
so, what i have left to care about while i'm waiting for the economic determinism to determine itself is art. that's it.
if you think i'm some kind of threat to the status quo, you should pull your head out of your ass.
and, i'm just not keen on banging my head against the wall until i die of brain damage. fuck that. give me a guitar.
so, you know - take me seriously in the sense of believing that i believe what i'm saying. i do. usually. it's hard to tell when i'm trolling sometimes, sure, but not that hard. but, realize that i know my ideas have no possibility of traction.
maybe i'm ahead of my time. maybe i'm just fucked. who knows....
the whole point of this is a reaction to separating google+ from youtube, which i'm still pissed off about. what i want is reintegration.
as it is, i don't want to rant over a social media network. if i was going to do that, i wouldn't use google+. nobody uses google+. i'd use facebook. you know - a social network that people actually read.
the whole point of this is that i need to convert my comments into videos for two reasons:
1) there is no longer any feed for youtube comments (that was the sole purpose of google+ - a feed for youtube).
2) youtube comments are now too volatile to be useful.
if your solution is "use google plus", that's basically equivalent to telling me to talk to the wall. i want to use youtube, for the precise reason that it is not a social network, meaning there are not privacy settings.
i'm trying to create a character for public consumption to sell music, not talk over the internet with friends in a way that the government can archive.
i don't see google+ as comparable to facebook, or in any way in competition to it. a better way to compute the way i'd interpret google+ is as comparable to disqus - it was a way that people can find the comments i've left in various spaces, and interact with the author of those comments.
that's actually a decent solution that will let the google+ douchebags maintain their snowflake status, while opening up youtube: just integrate with disqus. that's really what i'm looking for. not a social front end, exactly, just a home base.
i mean, don't misunderstand me too deeply. i've been transparent for years and years: this is marketing. that's my goal. i'm marketing my music, first and foremost. does that mean i'm being disingenuous? well, not at all. but, if you're actually listening to what i'm saying, you might guess that i'm a little bit less than optimistic about the possibilities for serious revolutionary change in my lifetime.
if there's any ambiguity, let me be clear: north america has precisely zero revolutionary potential. none. nada. zilch. and, i've stated this a few times, already: being an anarchist is a fucking lonely reality in a staunchly neo-liberal society. the social revolution comes first, sure, but we're not even at the point where we can talk about a social revolution. we're at the point where we have to teach people how to spell revolution, and then carefully explain what that means.
when we have social movements here - and elsewhere in the world - the way those social movements manifest themselves is as sitting in the public square and loudly chanting for government to solve our problems. we don't have a clue. and, it's not some accident, either. we're absolutely reliant on the state. even those who want to push back think that what revolution means is "force the government to fix things that are broken".
nobody is talking about seizing means of production or redistributing surplus value. the narrative is just foreign, and when you try and have the discussion all you get is confused stares. what people want is equal opportunity to compete over a free market, and welfare for those that fall through the cracks. go talk to them. have you? because i have. there's no imagination, no forward thinking. you'll walk away thinking that it really is the end of history.
even the ones that call themselves "anarchists" sound like calvinist fundamentalists when you push them on it. the kids drawing circled as think anarchism means social darwinism and the abolition of redistributive mechanisms, rather than the abolition of private property. they get their concept of anarchism out of the dictionary; they think council democracy is statist.
so, sure: i'd like to be a threat to the status quo. i'd love it. i can't do it by myself. and, i'm aware that there's not even the most basic beginnings of a social revolution anywhere at all. i don't know if there ever was, but i don't think we're anywhere close to it.
i think the best hope the left has is for mechanization to take over and force us into communes by necessity. i'm basically waiting for this. i give it thirty years, max. but i'll probably be dead by then.
so, what i have left to care about while i'm waiting for the economic determinism to determine itself is art. that's it.
if you think i'm some kind of threat to the status quo, you should pull your head out of your ass.
and, i'm just not keen on banging my head against the wall until i die of brain damage. fuck that. give me a guitar.
so, you know - take me seriously in the sense of believing that i believe what i'm saying. i do. usually. it's hard to tell when i'm trolling sometimes, sure, but not that hard. but, realize that i know my ideas have no possibility of traction.
maybe i'm ahead of my time. maybe i'm just fucked. who knows....
well, i didn't turn the machine back on like i promised. instead, i spent the day narrating some old vlogs. i planned to hit a concert after an appointment on the 23rd, so it seemed silly to turn it back on - and that's partly why i decided to narrate on the 22nd. but, i crashed early instead. yesterday was just lost....partly due to brexit, although i kept my mouth shut.
but, i'm caught up with the vlogs, now. i don't see any serious bottlenecks for the near future, either. so, i've got a little bit more shit to do this morning but feel i can close the first demo by the end of the day, for sure.
but, i'm caught up with the vlogs, now. i don't see any serious bottlenecks for the near future, either. so, i've got a little bit more shit to do this morning but feel i can close the first demo by the end of the day, for sure.
Friday, June 24, 2016
a strange inversion around a small joy formidable show in ferndale
so, i got out of the house a little late - it wasn't initially a cause for strict concern, and there was a bus waiting for me at the stop. score. but, i was a little surprised by how full it was. in the fifty or so times i've taken the bus over to detroit, this was the first time i had to stand. the bus was just packed with young females, and i kind of wondered where they were going but was really more concerned about what effect this would have on customs...
had i been allowed to just walk through, it would have been nothing. but, this request was denied (itself unusual), which had me stand on the bus for an extra twenty minutes. i was literally getting off at the first stop, meaning they had me sit there on the bus for twenty minutes to take the bus about 100 yards. it's just another example of the absolute absurdity they have people go through at the borders for reasons of political bullshit. one day, we'll get together and abolish this border altogether. we'll send the cops home without pay. there will be parties in the streets. until that day comes...
the end result was that i missed the bus, and nearly missed the bus after that. it was about a half hour delay, altogether - and absolutely needlessly.
--
i then got stuck in traffic in detroit, also for the first time. how is that possible? well, i suppose it was an earlier show than i'm used to. there's also continuing construction in detroit, which had me take some weird detours i hadn't taken before.
i ended up at the bus station around 8:00, which was doors. i was intending to be there closer to 7:00, to get to the venue for doors - because i wasn't sure what kind of crowd this band could generate in a city like detroit. i knew it was a smaller venue than i might expect. was that a good guess on turnout or a poor booking choice?
--
the opening band started playing as soon as i walked in. i'm not going to say a lot about them, other than that they didn't impress me at all. which is not to say they were terrible, just painfully generic. kind of like an uninspired cure. or the smiths. which is basically the same thing.
(in the background, shots can be heard)
there was an unusually short wait between sets. or, at least it felt that way. i'd guess they were on around 9:15. i got out of the venue a little after 11:00 - so we got a nice long set. i have to admit i was expecting that, but it's also not at all like the kind show i'd usual go to so it was a nice change.
the set was a mix of the expected and the unexpected. some of the tracks were identical to the versions on the record (and included things like sampled strings, which is forgivable - one would hardly expect them to bring an orchestra, if the strings were ever even live in the first place, and why would they be nowadays?), whereas others had rather substantial rearrangements including instrumentation and tempo shifts. the lead singer at one point remarked that if they were going to play the record as it was, you'd might as well stay home and listen to it in your room. i'm not sure i agree that i'd might as well have stayed home, but i appreciate the switch-up nonetheless.
they even came down into the floor of the audience for a short, totally unplugged (no mics) acoustic set. this only worked because the venue was so small, and the crowd was so sparse. i certainly didn't have any trouble getting in; i've learned that detroit is very american-centric across the board, so it wasn't a surprise that the crowd for a welsh band was underwhelming. the scale, however, hit me off guard. in truth, they could have played a much smaller room.
...except they couldn't have, because we would have all walked out with bleeding ears. this was about as small a space as a band like this can play without compromising the dynamics. you might think the smaller room, the better but you'd be wrong. i saw loma prieta in a closet once, and it was the perfect space because the sound caved in on itself. this band isn't like that; it needs a little air. the volume wants closer walls, yes, but the ambience wants you to open the room.
as this band is from wales, this tour may be the only chance you get to see them in an actual venue. i don't doubt they'll come back, but they tend to play open-air festivals. there's reasons for this that are very tactical, and i'm sure it's a fun experience. but, i'd argue that the ideal is seeing them in a closed room for the reasons i've mentioned.
i do, however, have to critique the setlist a little. they seemed overly focused on album tracks. they even played a b-side (which is the track i caught, here). that meant that they dropped a lot of the harder hitting, single-type tracks that seemed like they were written to play live. i'm not sure what they were thinking there. it could have been venue specific. but, i'm not sure that logic really holds. if you write a song to play live, that song is going to be even more powerful in a small space than it is in a big space.
that's a minor criticism, though. like i say - you should get out to see them while you can because i think there's a pretty high chance that they'll never do anything like this ever again.
here is a full set:
i explain in the day's vlog that the commotion in downtown detroit was a beyonce concert:
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2016/06/14.html
had i been allowed to just walk through, it would have been nothing. but, this request was denied (itself unusual), which had me stand on the bus for an extra twenty minutes. i was literally getting off at the first stop, meaning they had me sit there on the bus for twenty minutes to take the bus about 100 yards. it's just another example of the absolute absurdity they have people go through at the borders for reasons of political bullshit. one day, we'll get together and abolish this border altogether. we'll send the cops home without pay. there will be parties in the streets. until that day comes...
the end result was that i missed the bus, and nearly missed the bus after that. it was about a half hour delay, altogether - and absolutely needlessly.
--
i then got stuck in traffic in detroit, also for the first time. how is that possible? well, i suppose it was an earlier show than i'm used to. there's also continuing construction in detroit, which had me take some weird detours i hadn't taken before.
i ended up at the bus station around 8:00, which was doors. i was intending to be there closer to 7:00, to get to the venue for doors - because i wasn't sure what kind of crowd this band could generate in a city like detroit. i knew it was a smaller venue than i might expect. was that a good guess on turnout or a poor booking choice?
--
the opening band started playing as soon as i walked in. i'm not going to say a lot about them, other than that they didn't impress me at all. which is not to say they were terrible, just painfully generic. kind of like an uninspired cure. or the smiths. which is basically the same thing.
(in the background, shots can be heard)
there was an unusually short wait between sets. or, at least it felt that way. i'd guess they were on around 9:15. i got out of the venue a little after 11:00 - so we got a nice long set. i have to admit i was expecting that, but it's also not at all like the kind show i'd usual go to so it was a nice change.
the set was a mix of the expected and the unexpected. some of the tracks were identical to the versions on the record (and included things like sampled strings, which is forgivable - one would hardly expect them to bring an orchestra, if the strings were ever even live in the first place, and why would they be nowadays?), whereas others had rather substantial rearrangements including instrumentation and tempo shifts. the lead singer at one point remarked that if they were going to play the record as it was, you'd might as well stay home and listen to it in your room. i'm not sure i agree that i'd might as well have stayed home, but i appreciate the switch-up nonetheless.
they even came down into the floor of the audience for a short, totally unplugged (no mics) acoustic set. this only worked because the venue was so small, and the crowd was so sparse. i certainly didn't have any trouble getting in; i've learned that detroit is very american-centric across the board, so it wasn't a surprise that the crowd for a welsh band was underwhelming. the scale, however, hit me off guard. in truth, they could have played a much smaller room.
...except they couldn't have, because we would have all walked out with bleeding ears. this was about as small a space as a band like this can play without compromising the dynamics. you might think the smaller room, the better but you'd be wrong. i saw loma prieta in a closet once, and it was the perfect space because the sound caved in on itself. this band isn't like that; it needs a little air. the volume wants closer walls, yes, but the ambience wants you to open the room.
as this band is from wales, this tour may be the only chance you get to see them in an actual venue. i don't doubt they'll come back, but they tend to play open-air festivals. there's reasons for this that are very tactical, and i'm sure it's a fun experience. but, i'd argue that the ideal is seeing them in a closed room for the reasons i've mentioned.
i do, however, have to critique the setlist a little. they seemed overly focused on album tracks. they even played a b-side (which is the track i caught, here). that meant that they dropped a lot of the harder hitting, single-type tracks that seemed like they were written to play live. i'm not sure what they were thinking there. it could have been venue specific. but, i'm not sure that logic really holds. if you write a song to play live, that song is going to be even more powerful in a small space than it is in a big space.
that's a minor criticism, though. like i say - you should get out to see them while you can because i think there's a pretty high chance that they'll never do anything like this ever again.
here is a full set:
i explain in the day's vlog that the commotion in downtown detroit was a beyonce concert:
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2016/06/14.html
skipped shows
i intended to catch this at mocad last night, but my schedule didn't co-operate and i ended up falling asleep instead.
i must also admit that i didn't want to take the bus with the fucking guns 'n' roses fans.
actually, i should point out that i skipped the screaming females on tuesday as well, but it was very conscious - i know they only play half hour sets, and they're touring right now with three other bands, all of which are terrible. so, i'd have to go all the way to ferndale, suffer through three shitty sets and then get rewarded by having to spend the night in the dunkin' donuts, because i'd have missed the bus.
i will (and have) get stuck overnight if it's worth it. the show didn't strike me as worth it.
i would like to publicly request that the band drop the facade that they're still some unknown punk band from jersey or something and just do a real tour already. nobody's going to get bored if you do an hour set. promise.
i must also admit that i didn't want to take the bus with the fucking guns 'n' roses fans.
actually, i should point out that i skipped the screaming females on tuesday as well, but it was very conscious - i know they only play half hour sets, and they're touring right now with three other bands, all of which are terrible. so, i'd have to go all the way to ferndale, suffer through three shitty sets and then get rewarded by having to spend the night in the dunkin' donuts, because i'd have missed the bus.
i will (and have) get stuck overnight if it's worth it. the show didn't strike me as worth it.
i would like to publicly request that the band drop the facade that they're still some unknown punk band from jersey or something and just do a real tour already. nobody's going to get bored if you do an hour set. promise.
Wednesday, June 22, 2016
i ended up crashing before i got any listening done, but i at least got a good amount of sleep. i sleep much better when it's warm and humid. but, i woke up to a frequent frustrating reality: it was cold in here. again...
i've had the heat turned up to 28 now for a few hours, with the windows closed to keep the heat in. this is a terrible solution, though, because it makes it so dry in here.
there was a positive signal tonight, though: flickering lights. that indicates that the circuit might be on the brink. if i can get the line to blow, the day or two it takes to fix it might be enough for me to win this fight for the whole summer.
it's not that i need it at 28. i'd be happy with it at 25, if the machine wasn't sucking all the humidity out of the air. 25 and mildly humid is roughly equivalent to 28 and dangerously dry. so, if i can get the air off for a few days and rebuild the humidity in here, that could be enough to have the heat off until september, anyways. it's just that we never got a chance this year because the turnover was so immediate.
it's just a few more hours before i can get the windows wide open and hopefully get the humidity back up. right now, i need to get something to eat. i'll be doing finally listening on demo #1 this afternoon, once i'm fed.
i've had the heat turned up to 28 now for a few hours, with the windows closed to keep the heat in. this is a terrible solution, though, because it makes it so dry in here.
there was a positive signal tonight, though: flickering lights. that indicates that the circuit might be on the brink. if i can get the line to blow, the day or two it takes to fix it might be enough for me to win this fight for the whole summer.
it's not that i need it at 28. i'd be happy with it at 25, if the machine wasn't sucking all the humidity out of the air. 25 and mildly humid is roughly equivalent to 28 and dangerously dry. so, if i can get the air off for a few days and rebuild the humidity in here, that could be enough to have the heat off until september, anyways. it's just that we never got a chance this year because the turnover was so immediate.
it's just a few more hours before i can get the windows wide open and hopefully get the humidity back up. right now, i need to get something to eat. i'll be doing finally listening on demo #1 this afternoon, once i'm fed.
well, i think i found a bed bug
i'm not an entomologist, but it looks like one to me.
i have it in a ziploc bag in the freezer.
a few things.
1) i have no physical signs of bites, and no reason to think the bugs have been downstairs for a long period.
2) i have no proposed source.
3) so, they would have to have migrated from upstairs to downstairs - and i think the totality of evidence makes that obvious.
there's a non-trivial possibility that it's some other kind of bug. again: i'm no entomologist. but, it does certainly look like one to me.
i have no requests for action in the basement. again: i have not been bit. but, if you required evidence for action upstairs then i may have it for you.
(pause)
the only other thing i can think of is that it might be booklice.
fwiw, i found it walking on the hallway floor - nowhere near the bed.
anyways - i don't have bites. i can't complain if i don't have bites! but if you need evidence for upstairs, i may have some.
or, if the problem from upstairs has become more obvious over the last little while, it may be spreading.
(pause)
on second thought, i saw a second bug this morning and i think it's not a bed bug but a roach nymph. i'll hang on to the body for a few days.
that would be more consistent with what i've noticed down here.
i've checked my body carefully - still no signs of bites.
j
i have it in a ziploc bag in the freezer.
a few things.
1) i have no physical signs of bites, and no reason to think the bugs have been downstairs for a long period.
2) i have no proposed source.
3) so, they would have to have migrated from upstairs to downstairs - and i think the totality of evidence makes that obvious.
there's a non-trivial possibility that it's some other kind of bug. again: i'm no entomologist. but, it does certainly look like one to me.
i have no requests for action in the basement. again: i have not been bit. but, if you required evidence for action upstairs then i may have it for you.
(pause)
the only other thing i can think of is that it might be booklice.
fwiw, i found it walking on the hallway floor - nowhere near the bed.
anyways - i don't have bites. i can't complain if i don't have bites! but if you need evidence for upstairs, i may have some.
or, if the problem from upstairs has become more obvious over the last little while, it may be spreading.
(pause)
on second thought, i saw a second bug this morning and i think it's not a bed bug but a roach nymph. i'll hang on to the body for a few days.
that would be more consistent with what i've noticed down here.
i've checked my body carefully - still no signs of bites.
j
Tuesday, June 21, 2016
yeah, i gave it a really good listen and it seemed to settle down and then break up again - but i'm not certain it's interference, as it could be the sound isolation. when i remastered this, i put it through a lot of reverb to compensate for the mp3 compression (that's what mp3s destroy. sort of. i claim that functional lossless audio over convolution reverb is possible, but probably not useful). when it gets messy, it seems to be too much reverb. but, i mastered with my trusty 440-IIs.
the truth is that the degradation i'm hearing is what i expect to hear. i'm just a little weirded out by what seems like a lack of consistency.
i'm going for round two of my daily meal. i needed a boost in calories; the way it's working out is that i make myself these pasta dishes and need two tries to finish it. so, i'm eating twice daily instead of once daily. i think that's a good thing, actually.
i'll turn the pc on when i get back, and probably get a good listen through the mixer and the 440-IIs before i crash. but, i actually remastered this over the m-audio card (which is currently not installed). we'll have to see how it sounds.
i do expect that the phones are the dominant factor and it should be fine once i get enough volume through a flat signal.
the truth is that the degradation i'm hearing is what i expect to hear. i'm just a little weirded out by what seems like a lack of consistency.
i'm going for round two of my daily meal. i needed a boost in calories; the way it's working out is that i make myself these pasta dishes and need two tries to finish it. so, i'm eating twice daily instead of once daily. i think that's a good thing, actually.
i'll turn the pc on when i get back, and probably get a good listen through the mixer and the 440-IIs before i crash. but, i actually remastered this over the m-audio card (which is currently not installed). we'll have to see how it sounds.
i do expect that the phones are the dominant factor and it should be fine once i get enough volume through a flat signal.
these phones really need a strong signal to open up the sound. i think that is the biggest issue with them. even with the laptop at full output, it still sounds distant - although it's a little clearer through the laptop, with a loss of saturation on the bass (which may actually be because the source is flac rather than mp3 - the compression may be beneficial).
i haven't turned the pc on yet. i'd normally have an amplifier in the signal chain, but, for now, the mixer will have to do.
and, the mixer has ponies. i do not doubt this. i'll have to see how obvious it is. but, that is what i'm doing, right now.
i haven't turned the pc on yet. i'd normally have an amplifier in the signal chain, but, for now, the mixer will have to do.
and, the mixer has ponies. i do not doubt this. i'll have to see how obvious it is. but, that is what i'm doing, right now.
Monday, June 20, 2016
i just got through the first listen: mp3 player & new sennheisers.
there's some parts of this record/demo that i just can't stomach, but i know that they're actually some of the most powerful parts. in hindsight, i can see that this demo exists in a really rare space. if it finds the right audience, it could end up deeply seminal; even as it foreshadows a strain of emo that i never found myself interested in, it takes it to a level that never really existed. it's more like some kind of zappaesque take on early swans - really brutal in a way, but kind of a joke at the same time. i kind of feel like i accidentally invented hipster culture, out of no intent at all.
in fact, i was just a kid, and i was doing what kids do: i was emulating what i heard. my favourite bands. kids at school. even my parents. there are moments of utter originality, in fact total idiosyncrasy - you can hear it's me, if you know my work. but, there are also moments of total copyright infringement.
a part of me would love to put this up as a cassette for sale, but i just don't think it would be legal. downloads still have magic to me. they're still not quite real. i bet younger people don't see it that way, but that separation is the only thing i have to justify selling it at all.
i may crack one day. but, how does it sound?
the device isn't sending the signal out at a high enough volume for the phones, but that's something i'm already aware of. i need a pair of lower impedance phones for the device. it also sounds a little compressed - but it is a little compressed (320 kbps mp3). the bass sounds excellent, but these are also bass heavy phones. which is to say that it sounds how i would and should have expected it to sound through that setup.
i didn't fall asleep, but it was only because i was hungry. i'm going to finish my leftovers and then get some rest. i'm yawning. it should be some real sleep.
i'm going to want to try it uncompressed through the laptop when i wake up. i need to be clear: the demos cannot and will not be altered. these are finalized. the source is what it is. i'm more setting a base line and getting my ears retrained.
there's some parts of this record/demo that i just can't stomach, but i know that they're actually some of the most powerful parts. in hindsight, i can see that this demo exists in a really rare space. if it finds the right audience, it could end up deeply seminal; even as it foreshadows a strain of emo that i never found myself interested in, it takes it to a level that never really existed. it's more like some kind of zappaesque take on early swans - really brutal in a way, but kind of a joke at the same time. i kind of feel like i accidentally invented hipster culture, out of no intent at all.
in fact, i was just a kid, and i was doing what kids do: i was emulating what i heard. my favourite bands. kids at school. even my parents. there are moments of utter originality, in fact total idiosyncrasy - you can hear it's me, if you know my work. but, there are also moments of total copyright infringement.
a part of me would love to put this up as a cassette for sale, but i just don't think it would be legal. downloads still have magic to me. they're still not quite real. i bet younger people don't see it that way, but that separation is the only thing i have to justify selling it at all.
i may crack one day. but, how does it sound?
the device isn't sending the signal out at a high enough volume for the phones, but that's something i'm already aware of. i need a pair of lower impedance phones for the device. it also sounds a little compressed - but it is a little compressed (320 kbps mp3). the bass sounds excellent, but these are also bass heavy phones. which is to say that it sounds how i would and should have expected it to sound through that setup.
i didn't fall asleep, but it was only because i was hungry. i'm going to finish my leftovers and then get some rest. i'm yawning. it should be some real sleep.
i'm going to want to try it uncompressed through the laptop when i wake up. i need to be clear: the demos cannot and will not be altered. these are finalized. the source is what it is. i'm more setting a base line and getting my ears retrained.
so, i won't be able to permanently close anything until the twenty-year anniversary of it. which, i actually kind of like.
so, if i date my first record to june, 1998 then i can permanently close it in june, 2018.
that means this demo won't permanently close until christmas. but, that i can musically finalize it today or tomorrow.
new algorithms are always tricky at first, but they clarify themselves. right now, i just need to it and listen for an hour or two.
so, if i date my first record to june, 1998 then i can permanently close it in june, 2018.
that means this demo won't permanently close until christmas. but, that i can musically finalize it today or tomorrow.
new algorithms are always tricky at first, but they clarify themselves. right now, i just need to it and listen for an hour or two.
i've kind of lost track of time. i wanted to get some listening done last night, but i napped a few times; now, i feel like i should be tired, but i'm not. i thought my mp3 player was charged, but it isn't - or maybe it was, but it lost charge to the air. it's charging.
i can't shake the feeling that i'm going to fall asleep as soon as i put the phones on, but it's what i need to be doing next. in the meantime, vlogs are uploading.
the information overload is still dramatic. i want to push through and close all these releases, but i can't find the way to do it that makes the most sense. i'm going to have to turn my pc back on tonight, once the temperature comes down a little outside and i can turn the heat off because the air conditioner upstairs turns down. then, the pc will start to throw off heat on it's own. i'm stuck in a strange reality where the hotter it is outside, the higher i have to turn up the heat to fight the a/c. i don't know what he did up there over the winter, but it's pulling air out of here a lot more violently than last year. did he remove a part of the floor? put in a heat pump? i can hear something churning up there, but i don't know exactly what it is. whatever he did wasn't thought through well. to begin with, it was done in absolute contempt for my own desires - he's obviously trying to alter the temperature down here. there was no consultation. the reality is that i have the legal right to demand that he turn the air down, but i'd rather do this by hitting his pocket book. in the end, he's going to have to pay for it through a ridiculous hydro bill. i'm still hoping to ultimately outlast him and nailing him on the hydro actually might drive him out. i mean, if i force him to turn the air down, he's still up there until he keels over; if i fuck him over on the utility bill, he may have to move out before then. i think it's the only real way to resolve this.
but, with the writing, i kind of feel like i'm reaching for a switch in the dark sort of thing. for example: this post, here, on this page, will eventually find itself into the liner notes for inri000. and, you know what? in typing that statement, i think i've finally convinced myself that i have no choice but to wait until i close the period. even ignoring the alter-reality, this can't make sense, otherwise.
my work flow needs to be something like this:
1) republish all the music in the releases from 1996-2000.
2) reorganize all the source files & rebuild the aleph-disc.
3) then reconstruct all the liner notes from the aleph-disc, and put them into the source disk.
the mp3 player is charged. here i go....
i can't shake the feeling that i'm going to fall asleep as soon as i put the phones on, but it's what i need to be doing next. in the meantime, vlogs are uploading.
the information overload is still dramatic. i want to push through and close all these releases, but i can't find the way to do it that makes the most sense. i'm going to have to turn my pc back on tonight, once the temperature comes down a little outside and i can turn the heat off because the air conditioner upstairs turns down. then, the pc will start to throw off heat on it's own. i'm stuck in a strange reality where the hotter it is outside, the higher i have to turn up the heat to fight the a/c. i don't know what he did up there over the winter, but it's pulling air out of here a lot more violently than last year. did he remove a part of the floor? put in a heat pump? i can hear something churning up there, but i don't know exactly what it is. whatever he did wasn't thought through well. to begin with, it was done in absolute contempt for my own desires - he's obviously trying to alter the temperature down here. there was no consultation. the reality is that i have the legal right to demand that he turn the air down, but i'd rather do this by hitting his pocket book. in the end, he's going to have to pay for it through a ridiculous hydro bill. i'm still hoping to ultimately outlast him and nailing him on the hydro actually might drive him out. i mean, if i force him to turn the air down, he's still up there until he keels over; if i fuck him over on the utility bill, he may have to move out before then. i think it's the only real way to resolve this.
but, with the writing, i kind of feel like i'm reaching for a switch in the dark sort of thing. for example: this post, here, on this page, will eventually find itself into the liner notes for inri000. and, you know what? in typing that statement, i think i've finally convinced myself that i have no choice but to wait until i close the period. even ignoring the alter-reality, this can't make sense, otherwise.
my work flow needs to be something like this:
1) republish all the music in the releases from 1996-2000.
2) reorganize all the source files & rebuild the aleph-disc.
3) then reconstruct all the liner notes from the aleph-disc, and put them into the source disk.
the mp3 player is charged. here i go....
so, here's a strange twist.
i walked down this path that's kept me a year behind because i wanted to finish the aleph-0 disc. now, because i'm narrating the alter-reality, i can't actually finish it.
i've made the decision to wait and ship the aleph discs along with the alter-reality. that means that aleph-0 will not be available until 2020, aleph-1 until 2021, & etc.
i'm going to build the discs in the mean time, and i may even end up changing my mind. but, i don't like the idea of constantly adding data to the disc if it's for sale. i want to close it before i offer it.
who buys physical media nowadays, anyways, right? it's more of an archival thing.
so, for now, there will not be aleph discs for sale for the near future.
well....actually, i'll have mp3 and flac discs. i just won't have period discs. those will be staggered.
i walked down this path that's kept me a year behind because i wanted to finish the aleph-0 disc. now, because i'm narrating the alter-reality, i can't actually finish it.
i've made the decision to wait and ship the aleph discs along with the alter-reality. that means that aleph-0 will not be available until 2020, aleph-1 until 2021, & etc.
i'm going to build the discs in the mean time, and i may even end up changing my mind. but, i don't like the idea of constantly adding data to the disc if it's for sale. i want to close it before i offer it.
who buys physical media nowadays, anyways, right? it's more of an archival thing.
so, for now, there will not be aleph discs for sale for the near future.
well....actually, i'll have mp3 and flac discs. i just won't have period discs. those will be staggered.
yeah. ok.
so, i got the first demo reposted to facebook. now, i'm going to need to
1) get all of the data mirrored in the word document.
2) listen to it on every device i have at least once to make sure it's final (the cassette demos are basically inalterable, but still...)
once that's done, i can close the demo.
this may be overkill for the first two demos, as there's essentially no chance i'm going to alter them. however, i want to get the process of rebuilding my machine back in order, which means turning it on.
i had so much order up until about a year ago when everything fell apart. i can rebuild this. it's just going to take me some time.
so, i got the first demo reposted to facebook. now, i'm going to need to
1) get all of the data mirrored in the word document.
2) listen to it on every device i have at least once to make sure it's final (the cassette demos are basically inalterable, but still...)
once that's done, i can close the demo.
this may be overkill for the first two demos, as there's essentially no chance i'm going to alter them. however, i want to get the process of rebuilding my machine back in order, which means turning it on.
i had so much order up until about a year ago when everything fell apart. i can rebuild this. it's just going to take me some time.
information overload....
what i'm feeling right now is just total information overload, so i just need to take a step back and work through everything slowly.
task one needs to be to republish period 1 over bandcamp, and then rebuild the aleph-0 disc once it's done.
task one needs to be to republish period 1 over bandcamp, and then rebuild the aleph-0 disc once it's done.
Sunday, June 19, 2016
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