jessica murray

Monday, May 23, 2016

22-05-2016: baby labour & blessed at phog in windsor (and primary rants)

show footage:
baby labour: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzOmLQGDptI
blessed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTt0ZeuSAZw

review:
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2016/05/22.html

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

exploring southwest detroit in the day and the night (to see chelsea wolfe)

stoked by fears of not getting in to see the show due to it selling out, whether conspiratorially worked up by the bar owners or not, i convinced myself of the need to transit to the show relatively early so that i could stop by a record shop on the way there. this, it seems, is somewhat of a useful trick to be put aside for reuse. but, it left me with the need to walk a good distance through an unknown part of detroit (in somewhat girly attire) and arrive at the venue at least an hour before doors.

the walk in was actually a lot less creepy than anticipated. it was ultimately just a fear of the unknown, but i need to assert myself - some apprehension is intelligent when walking through detroit alone. the thing is that huge amounts of the city are virtually empty, so there is literally nobody that is going to hear you yell. yes - nobody will hear your cries. let's not sing this song. see, i've mused before that this implies that wild animals are a more pressing concern than desperate people, but it remains true that the city is a kind of a predator's twisted wet dream, and this simply can't be forgotten. i will not apologize for being careful about where i'm walking and when and fuck you for criticizing me for it.

but, the truth is that the walk up bagley was of minimal concern. it seems that the area directly surrounding the railroad tracks has been left for dead. the abandoned twenty story office buildings would no doubt be useful to the homeless folk huddled around them, even as mere shelter from the rain, but there are barbed wire fences to prevent use. again: i found myself more frightened of the possibility that i was walking through coyote territory, and i truly probably was. but, this took up no more than a few blocks of a half hour walk, which was mostly through a pleasant commercial district populated by ethnic mexican businesses.

i got there eventually and tried to chill in the dog park across the way, hoping i'd bump into somebody with my favourite thing, but instead i found myself looking over my shoulder at pit bulls and dobermans left off their leash to sneak up upon me with intent. first i escaped the coyotes, and now this. is detroit run by shape-shifting canids? well, if the lizard people are truly so ubiquitous, they'd have to have evolved thermoregulation at some point, right? it might explain some things you could never get your head around. nor did i see a bar up the strip that i'd feel safe in, although there were plenty of ice cream stores. and, so, i ended up parked in the front of the venue for upwards of an hour and felt myself start to get slightly cold.

--

i found myself in the smoking section for most of the next two hours, floating from a to b and not really saying much of any value to anyone. but, i did eventually find what i wanted before the show started, and i have to acknowledge that it was more essential than i expected.

--

i had heard some chelsea wolfe years earlier; apokalypsis was in rotation for a little while over 2011 or 2012. i'm going to throw out a comparison i haven't seen before: it reminded me a little of jar of flies period alice in chains, but with a kind of impressionist swirl to it. then, i seem to have forgotten about her. it was less about rejection and more just about overlooking it. this is a thing that does happen when you're a music nerd, and there is really simply no way to avoid it without solving for the very hard problem of mortality.

so, when i saw she was playing here, my mind floated back to memories of that record. the next step was to explore some new material; i both found it surprising and interesting. i had picked up somewhere that she had swung a little more goth, but i wasn't expecting as strong of an embrace of electronics. it was compelling, though - i am a fan of the style from multiple different angles. i mean, i grew up listening to stuff like curve and garbage, not to mention skinny puppy and nine inch nails. while i didn't get a chance to really absorb the disc, i heard more than enough to convince me to attend in the handful of times that i streamed it leading up to the show.

i was surprised a second time by the set, which seemed to meet me halfway by pulling in quite a bit of a heavy grunge aesthetic. it was a return to alice in chains, but the heavy side. a bit of soundgarden, even; there's some swans in there, too. pj harvey. it’s all 90s. the press is going to want to name drop witch whatever, black this and doom that. but, i'm an old grunge kid. i knew what i was listening to. and i rather enjoyed it...

i found myself remembering some of the older tracks, too, which was nice.

the show was strong enough that i'm going to no doubt find myself exploring her last two records more carefully and in the process i may find that i was mentally overcompensating for the electronics at the expense of the guitars - that they were there all along, and i just didn't hear them. but, my immediate impression was that the show was brutal in a way that the record isn't and that may be a little surprising to some. it's ultimately just a mixing decision to make sure the guitars are loud enough and dirty enough to make the output fundamentally guitar-oriented, rather than fundamentally electronic. it's just not what i picked out when i was listening beforehand, rightly or wrongly.

so, i'm torn between suggesting that the live show is an improvement in sound over the record and wondering how i would have reacted to a more electronic set.

but, i will say that if you like the head cave then this is a good one.

here is a full set:

the walk back was a little bit scary, but i need to put it in the perspective of being unfamiliar with the walk. it was again the coyote patch that bothered me most, although it seemed at a few points that slow moving cars with their lights off were trailing me through the abandoned streets, with unknown motives and for unknown lengths. people wanted me to stop to talk to them; i didn't really want to do that. and, etc. but, i ultimately made it home without incident.

my apprehension about repeating that exact route is grounded, but i'm going to need to experiment to determine something more optimal. detours. bus schedules, maybe. or perhaps even just getting used to it....

here is the vlog for the day:

http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2016/05/19.html

Sunday, May 22, 2016

21-05-2016: organizing media release dates for the alter-reality

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

lastly, there will be a youtube account, but it will only post *samples* of songs rather than entire songs. i'm looking at one minute samples of pretty much every song. i will want to use this profile as a commenting perch, of course. i was going to re-use the dtk profile, but i've decided not to. see, what i've learned is that posting full tracks to youtube makes people think the music is free, and it simply can't be. the point is to push people to bandcamp. fuck streaming. i'll post it when i set it up tomorrow; i'm uploading right now and can't log out. but, this profile won't start working until september, either.

for right now, it's just the blogspot site that will be working.

i'm hitting a math rock show tomorrow night, but i'll be home relatively early and should be able to start realigning the three facebook pages with the period one disc and getting back to finalizing the inri material for good.

this is going to be the new facebook page, because people don't exist outside of facebook, so you need it, even if you hate it. but, it's just going to list links to bandcamp as they come up. all the actual writing will be at the blogspot page. it's really just an obligation.

https://www.facebook.com/inri-1719120681676528

this is going to be the new bandcamp space, which will build itself up from 1996-1999, starting in september 2016. so, it's going to take the full four years to get through this material. but, inri is just period one. i will start a new bandcamp page for deny everything (period 2.1) in the year 2020.

http://jnrj.bandcamp.com/

it turns out that blogger is giving me everything that i want, for now, in a fairly simple interface. all i wanted was a simple journal-style page without heavy scripting and with an rss feed. but, i was hoping i could find a site like this - livejournal or tumblr or something - that gives me what i want because it allows me to post in real time.

i do think that i'll eventually move this to an appspot site, but what that means is that i'll need to upload the whole site every time i make a post. the reality is that it's going to be a while before the site gets more complex, anyways, so this just makes more sense for the moment. i *did* try livejournal, but it looks like it wants to charge me, and i'm not paying. google is always good for free stuff, anyways. in time, i should be able to just copy and paste this page over. really.

so, this is the blog space for the alter-reality. facebook is just a shitty interface, so i'm trying to avoid it - and, actually, get the remaining data that's here off of it. that's going to mean wiping this page down to a cv-type skeleton. the blogspot page will be the most comprehensive thing to follow, the meta level page, where all the links to bandcamp and other comments will come up.

http://therealinri.blogspot.ca/

there's a lot of stuff on that record that doesn't sound much like soundgarden, but is actually extremely well put together. the record continues to get flak for being "unfocused", but that's always missed the point - the late 90s were really a final renaissance of expansive art rock, and the record really fits in perfectly along with other period classics like mcis, aenima and ok computer. i'd argue it's highly underrated, and arguably even their best record. the psychedelic sound that dominates the disc was picked up by cameron & shepherd in the wellwater conspiracy, which seems to suggest that it was actually the rhythm section that had taken over the band in it's twilight phase.

anyways. i'll get to this. but this is another underappreciated track from that disc that i used to listen to quite a bit.

i pull a pretty heavy ty cobb in the climax to the first section of this track:

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/to-spin-inside-dull-aberrations-2

if you're too young to know what i'm talking about:

my records going back to 1996 are not perfect, but, then again, i've been over this before: who has digital records from 1996? the oldest cd list i can find is from 2002. there are records in archives somewhere that are older than this...if i can find them...

but, here is what i can reconstruct.

now, note that this is going to necessarily be mildly revisionist, in the sense that i didn't buy every cd on the day it came out. some of it, i know i did - like the i mother earth disc, or the nin disc. but i didn't get into stuff like labradford or tortoise until 98 or 99. i can remember exactly when i got into labradford - i saw them open for gybe! on the slow riot tour, which was the spring of '99. tortoise is a little more blurry. i remember getting standards on the release date.

the point is that this is going to have to be approximate, whether i like it or not. although, there is a possibility that it could get very, very accurate starting about mid '97, if i can get to those archives.

i don't get online until mid '97 or so, and there's going to be a big gap over that period. i'm comfortable waiting until i get there before i start looking for usenet and listserv archives.

but, we can see where i'm going with this quite clearly. my first post is going to no doubt be about enjoying the new soundgarden record, down on the upside.

hard-headed, fuck you all.
just add it all
to the hot rod death toll.

that mandolin solo, though.

the page will be up soonish.

download microscopic 1996 ep jan 9, 1996
radiohead street spirit 1996 single jan 22, 1996
limblifter llimblifter 1996 lp jan 23, 1996
stabbing westward wither, blister, burn + peel 1996 lp jan 23rd
the smashing pumpkins 1979 1996 ep jan 26th
tortoise millions now living will never die 1996 lp jan 30
econoline crush affliction 1996 lp feb 20
skinny puppy brap 1996 2xlp feb 27
the process 1996 lp
charlie's family 1996 lp
gravity kills gravity kills 1996 lp mar 5
the smashing pumpkins 1979 mixes 1996 ep mar 12th
stp tiny music 1996 ep mar 26
the tea party alhambra 1996 ep mar ?
the smashing pumpkins tonight, tonight 1996 ep apr 15
man or astroman? experiment zero 1996 lp april 16th
the smashing pumpkins zero 1996 ep apr 23
download sidewinder 1996 ep april 30, 1996
soundgarden down on the upside 1996 lp may 21

***********

download the eyes of stanley pain 1996 lp may 28th
nine inch nails quake soundtrack 1996 lp june 22
kmfdm xtort 1996 lp june 25th
sponge wax ecstatic 1996 lp july 2nd
i mother earth scenery and fish 1996 lp july 9th
ost escape from l.a. 1996 lp july 15
alice in chians unplugged 1996 lp july 30
various (charity) sweet relief ii 1996 lp aug 6
rhcp coffee shop 1995 single aug 12
white zombie supersexy swingin' sounds 1996 lp aug 15th
foetus boil 1996 lp aug 20
pearl jam no code 1996 lp aug 27th
rem e-bow the letter 1996 ep aug 27th
rem new adventures in hifi 1996 lp sept 9
the smashing pumpkins live at the corel centre in ottawa sept 13
tool aenima 1996 lp sept 17
moby animal rights 1996 lp sept 23rd
weezer pinkerton 1996 lp sept 24
the tear garden to be an angel blind, the crippled soul divide 1996 lp oct 1
garbage milk 1996 single oct 7
korn life is peachy 1996 lp oct 15th
swans soundtracks for the blind 1996 2xlp oct 22
bjork possibly maybe 1996 single oct 28
garbage #1 crush 1996 single oct 29
aphex twin rdj album 1996 lp nov 4
james gorner / billy corgan ransom 1996 lp nov 5
the smashing pumpkins 33 1996 ep nov 11
bowery electric beat 1996 lp nov 12
labradford labradford 1996 lp nov 12th
barenaked ladies rock spectacle 1996 ep nov 19, 1996
bush razorblade suitcase 1996 lp nov 19, 1996
our lady peace superman's dead 1996 single dec 16, 1996
the offspring all i want 1996 single dec 31, 1996

Saturday, May 21, 2016

20-05-2016: consolidating archives (and ranting...)

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

Friday, May 20, 2016

i'm still running late on everything, but i should legitimately start building the alter-reality (as in, creating new profiles) either tonight or tomorrow.

i just need to reiterate: i can see the alter-reality, but the alter-reality cannot see me. and, i will be absolutely ruthless in mass blocking anybody that tries to fuck with this.

that said, there will not be large-scale interaction with the alter-reality, either, like there was previously. i'm spinning this off and letting it float on it's own. so, if you're interested in this, please follow it on it's own terms.

it is currently may 20, 1996 in the alter-reality. serious posting will start by july 1, 1996 - at the latest. the alter-reality will have it's own bandcamp, youtube, facebook and appspot spaces. it is those links that will be posted here by the end of the weekend, probably.

19-05-2016: exploring southwest detroit in the day and the night (to see chelsea wolfe)

show footage:
https://www.youtube.com/embed/kOp6AxyO6g8?list=PLrHImg7oLm2aa6hPQlp4A8E8FjYuYnm2t

review:
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/categories/shows/2016/05/19.html

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

Thursday, May 19, 2016

i was dreaming this morning. and, in case you're curious....

the truth is that i'm actually very content with the life that i live right now. it would be nice if disability could be a bit more, but i'm actually not complaining - there's really no point you could set it at where it wouldn't be nice if it were a bit more. i'm truly well fed and consider myself to have a very high quality of life.

so, if i were to do it all over again, what would i do? well, i'd be moving towards getting to where i am today faster, not trying to get to somewhere else. that may have meant applying for disability at a younger age. or, perhaps i may have focused on investment.

if i had the advantage of foresight, i would have probably studied finance and then not spent the time afterwards working but trying to rip people off on the various markets, until i could approximate the lifestyle i have now. it might mean $3000/month off dividends rather than $1000/month off government assistance. but, that actually doesn't really scale into a substantial difference. less walking, more cabs. more pizza, maybe? buying software instead of pirating it?

i just get the impression sometimes that people think i expected more out of myself. but, what that really means is that they weren't actually listening to what i was saying. i was never about winning the game; i was always about trying to get out of the obligation of having to play it. that's my conception of freedom: walking away.